127 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Yuu Priori Incantater

7th May 2006:
Wow... Neville exploded. I liked that he only trusts Luna. Gosh! He really has a self-esteem problem. Hehehehe! That was horrible of Snape, to send Neville's gran a report on Neville in Potions. Ouch! Anyway, hope that Neville feels better. For a moment, I thought he was one of the killers, as in truth, not disguised.

Author's Response: Yeah Neville's fiannly crakced from the pressure lol Yeah that was horrible of Snape wasn't it. That never crossed my mind that Neville would be one of the healers in disgiuse at all. Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #27, by Yuu Mrs Bertha and the Village of Nowhere

7th May 2006:
LOL It's almost like Ron is possessed. I would have never thought Mrs. Bertha was a train. That was a good one. I also liked the people's reactions to the truth. Now, I've gotten confused. So Harry and the others have met the killers before? And they have been in that place where Mrs. Bertha took them? Very weird. Hope to know the truth soon enough. About your a question, at some times it feels like things are happening to them randomly, but other times I think there is a purpose and I want to see how it develops and ends. :)

Author's Response: I liked writing this chapter, I wrote it just before it became New Years Day :) Yes Harry and the others have in a way met the killers before, and they have seen the village.

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Review #28, by Yuu Merry Christmas!

7th May 2006:
For a moment I thought the vision of the the drowned and blind Ginny meant that she had already been killed by her captors. Interesting that Ron seems to be the one most prone to visions, although Harry got a glimpse of the ghost/zombie boy in the end, even if he quickly forgot about it. Well, I have to say I would have been horrified if one of my siblings appears before me in that ghost-like fashion... It's a miracle that Ron didn't start screaming like crazy. Hehehehe!!!

Author's Response: Harry can't c Stuart. HArry seeing him at the end of the chapter was just luck for him. Yeah I can just imagine Ron going mad at seeing Ginny in that state lol

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Review #29, by Yuu You Were Always On My Mind

7th May 2006:
Ah! A fluffy chapter! Ron was so nice and fluffly and lovable... Hehehehe! At least he didn't snap at Hermione and knew it had been a fake who attacked him. I'm glad he's doing better and now he might get lovey dovey with Hermione? Just one thing, in the wizarding world doctors are called healers. I guess you can change the word doctors to healers so that it can be more like HP. Just a suggestion. ;) This was a very calm chapter! On to the next!

Author's Response: I never knew that! Thanks for telling me :) I'm glad u liked this chapter, and yes I was aiming for a calm chapter, can't be all horror and suspence. Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #30, by Yuu Fear And Revenge

2nd May 2006:
When I read the name Edgar Pool, for some reason, the name that came to my mind was Edgar Allan Poe and that made me laugh. Did you do that on purpose, by any chance? Then, the name Mrs. Bertha and Hermione's comment about it sounding like fun made me laugh too. Very nice chapter and hope they'll start getting closer to finding the bad guys. :)

Author's Response: You're right it does sound like Edgar Allan Poe! No I never did that intentionally at all, I just came up with the name lol I'm glad u liked the bit with Hermione's comment, it was never meant to be funny. Glad you liked thechapter, and thanks for reviewing

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Review #31, by greenday_lover The End Of One Story, The Beginning Of Another

29th April 2006:
hey, needed to read it before i forgot, can't wait to read the sequel, new story coming on mine soon keep an eye out for it

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, and i'm glad your looking forward to the sequel, right now i'm wracking my brains on how i'm going to write it :) I saw your story recently, and will read it.

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Review #32, by Yuu The Way We Used To Be

29th April 2006:
I think that Mrs. Weasley, being Ginny's mother and Ginny being 'her baby' wouldn't be comforting Hermione at all. I think she would be in hysterics and with a clouded mind thinking that she will find 'her baby' dead. Remember Mrs. Weasley's Boggart? How she cried desperately whenever she saw the Boggart transform into members of her family and even Harry? She couldn't even get rid of the Boggart. She was simply out of control so I think that in this situation of Ginny having been taken she would be out of control too with Mr. Weasley having more control and trying to comfort his wife instead. Still, I truly think Molly wouldn't blame Hermione like you portray. She would probably tell Hermione that it is not her fault and that she doesn't blame her, but at the same time she would act strange towards Hermione. Remember how she believed Rita Skeeter's article about Hermione two-timing with Viktor and Harry? She kind of knew it wasn't true, but at the same time treated Hermione differently, like when she sent Hermione a smaller chocolate than to the others in Easter (I think it was Easter, too lazy to check, lol) You could make Poppy Pomfrey be the one comforting Hermione more, or McGonagall stating in a stern tone: "Goodness child! It is not your fault! Stop blaming yourself!" They are just suggestions. ;)

Wendigos. Very interesting. I like how you made it as if they are created from people who choose to become Wendigos and not born. I was reminded of Final Fantasy VIII. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for advice, and I c what u mean :) Don't worry though, i'm planning 2 show more of how Mrs Weasley felt to Hermione and Ginny at that time in the sequel. Glad you liked the Wendigo bit, thanks for reviewing.

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Review #33, by Yuu Obsession And Possession

29th April 2006:
It's very difficult to imagine that Snape didn't take any points from Gryffindor after Ron shouted at him. lol

So Hermione has been under the Imperius curse? Is the murderer controlling her in the school?

Ooh, Ginny was taken! But to where? I wonder, how can someone impersonate Diggory after he is dead? Barty Crouch Jr. kept Moody alive in the trunk throughout the whole time he was using Polyjuice potion because he apparently needed Moody alive to keep getting hairs from him. Is the person impersonating Cedric a metamorphmagus or using some sort of other spell?


Author's Response: Yeah I can c that, I guess Snape forgot 2 do that in the heat of the moment. Hermione hasn't been under the imperious curse all the time, and I think it was once or twice that she was controlled in the school. After this chapter, she won't be controlled anymore :) Thanks for reviewing

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Review #34, by Yuu Hidden Secrets

29th April 2006:
"‘Your real friends to me, I love you both’ said Hermione.
'Hermione, I think your helping the person who's mudering people, or your that person in disguise' said Ron tonelessly." All the 'your's should be 'you are' or 'you're'. Oh, and you missed an 'r' in 'murdering'. ;)


Ron is so silly, but his situation is understandable. Did Ron take Hermione's wand with him or did he leave it on the ground for her to pick it up?

I guess that the murderers are trying to break the bond between the trio to kill them easily, right? Or is it true that someone close to them is involved? On to the next!


Author's Response: I've gone to make the corrections, thanks for spotting them :) As for your question, I never mentioned that to be honest with you, so I'm sorry. The answer is though that Ron would have dropped it on the ground. As for your other questions, you'll just have 2 find out :) Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #35, by Yuu Haunted

29th April 2006:
A suggestion: You can place asterisks (***) to separate scenes. I usually use 'XxXxX' because I'm used to it, but you can use asterisks.


Example:


Hermione's scene

***

Ron's scene

***

Harry's scene

In that way, it's less confusing. There are authors who also use numbers: I, II, III. My friend who is a beta does that. They are ways to separate scenes so that the reader knows that the story will change scenery or PoV. Even if the story is in 3rd person, in Hermione's scene we are seeing things through Hermione's eyes. Same happens with Harry's scene. When the change is too sudden, even with separated paragraphs, one can get a bit disoriented. lol I got confused when I read that Hermione blacked out and then all of a sudden I was on a paragraph with someone speaking that I realised was the boy that had been speaking to Ron. Hope you get what I'm trying to say. ;)

This was a very strange chapter indeed. People coming from the dead to give warnings. It was interesting though and it suits perfectly when the fic is a Horror one. I liked it. On to the next!



Author's Response: I understand exactly what you mean, and as soon as I got your review, I made the changes. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and thaks for reviewing.

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Review #36, by Yuu An Unlikely Pair

28th April 2006:
Definitely an unlikely pair. So... I'm figuring the murderer only targets Muggles and wizards that are non Purebloods? Seeing that he killed the Muggle girl, but left the Pureblooded one alive... -- I'll try to get back to this tomorrow, but if I don't, I'll be able to get back to your fic on Monday. :)

Author's Response: ummmm, I wouldn't say it only kills muggles and purebloods :) Thanks for reviewing

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Review #37, by Yuu Panic

28th April 2006:
The name of the Gryffindor boy is Dean Thomas. ;) That bit about the girls entering the Forbidden Forest was very strange.

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out that spelling mistake, and thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #38, by Yuu Neville's Confession

28th April 2006:
I'm not sure McGonagall would approve of Neville using the killing curse when it's one of the punishable curses. She might have scolded him, even if it did save Ginny's life. Sometimes I even wonder if the Aurors are allowed to use it. So far, I don't think the Aurors are allowed to use any of the Unforgivables. In that sense, I think it would be more canon to have McGonagall congratulate them, but at the same time she would scold Neville badly about the mistake in trying a stunning spell and performing an unforgivable instead. Same with Gran who would throw a fit about Neville wanting to land himself in Azkaban. lol By the way, this is meant to help you, not to annoy you. I mention it in good terms, but if you don't like it I'll refrain from tipping you like this. It's your story after all. Hehehe! ;)

A suggestion, try to separate the dialogues, leaving space as you do with paragraphs. It makes reading easier. Also, long paragraphs tend to be strange. I used to merge all dialogues in one paragraph too with my first fics. No one ever commented on it, but I discovered how awkward it was on my own. lol In a fic one person did tell me to avoid grandmother paragraphs, meaning extra long paragraphs. A funny way of saying it... :)

I'm confused. Did the man speak after Neville had hit him with the curse, even saying I may be dead now? Was this as if the man had some sort of soulmagic that could speak telepathically? I say soulmagic because it's the only way a dead person could speak, in my opinion. Through his soul leaving the body? On to the next! :)


Author's Response: Wow long review. No you're not annoying me, you're helping me greatly, please contiue telling me what you think is best ;) Ok I c what u mean when u say that McGonagall should scold Neville, and that his Gran would be angry instead, and i'm right on my way to change and make corrections. I think to some extent McGonagall would approve Neville. As for what you send that Aurors cannot use the illegal curses, well I remember in book 4, Sirius telling Harry, Ron and Hermione that Aurors started using the curses on Death Eaters. As for long paragraphs i'm going to try my best to make them better, and the dialogues thats a very nice suggestion, but I find it easier to write speech marks the way i'm writing them now ;) Yes the man did speak to Neville after been hit, and yes you're right on what you just said, thats how he spoke. Thanks for review, you're been alot of help :)

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Review #39, by Yuu Save Ginny!

28th April 2006:
Did the man really die or did the spell didn't do anything to him because Neville wasn't even meaning to chant that? It was strange that Neville would confuse making a stunning spell and use the killing curse instead, which is a curse that could land him in Azkaban. Will Neville performing or trying to perform an Avada Kedavra be of some significance in the future? Like some sort of foreshadowing? That was very strange. Good chap! On to the next!

Author's Response: Yes the man dies, sorry if that wasn't clear in the chapter. I got that remark from another reviewer that it wasn't believable, and know that I look back, I think that maybe it wasn't. But didn't Snape remark in the movie that Neville could make the simplest of spells a disaster? Isn't it made a fact that Neville isn't very good with spells, and can make simple spells bad? Also Neville wasn't intending to do the killing curse, it was by accident. Also he did it to save Ginny, I don't think the Ministry would put him in Azkaban if it was acciddental, and in self defence. And yes Neville doing this is a foreshadowing. In later chapters you'll find out,a dn in the sequel there will be more. In the sequel there will be a bit about the Ministry and Neville's killing curse. Thank you for reviewing, you're helping me so much :)

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Review #40, by Yuu Mr Weasleys Story

28th April 2006:
Just started reading and wanted to point out something, Percy's owl is Hermes while Errol is the Weasley family's very old owl that can barely carry massages.

"Now the reason why I have bought Harry here..." 'brought'

"...they could of done this..." 'of' should read 'have'

"...he'd be minor comapared..." 'compared'

I'm curious about the previous three murders having been children and this one the first adult. Is there some significance. Were the children from the magical folk or Muggles? My guess is they were wizarding children and if this is the case, so far the only pattern is that the assassin kills wizards, but the pattern of children broke with this first adult victim, along with his dog. Can't imagine the Dursleys' reactions to learning that a murder occurred close to their home although I don't know if you included that. lol Another nice chapter.

Author's Response: I've gone and made the changes again, thank you very much, I don't notice them when I write :) As for your question are the children muggles/ magic folk, I never really gave much thought, but I guess they were muggle. I'll put that in when i'm editing the chapter. The Dursleys reaction will come in the sequel.

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Review #41, by Yuu Shadows At Privet Drive

28th April 2006:
Nice start. "Harry had decided to stay out of there way,..." 'their'

"The wizard might of escaped if he had short hair,..." 'of' should be 'have', I think.

I found a bit funny the bit about the wizard's long hair being his undoing, but that's just me and my sick mind finding humour everywhere. This was very interesting indeed. For a moment I thought the wizard was Lucius Malfoy, but can't be if this is an alternate 6th year plus he seemed too nice.

It was strange that Harry could think about Cedric's death a year before and not about Sirius' unless this is an AU where Sirius is alive. :) On to the next!


Author's Response: I've already gone to edit story to make the corrections :) I've also added an authors note that the story is set in Harry's fifth year, I think some people got confused when reading it. Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #42, by iluvgreenday The End Of One Story, The Beginning Of Another

22nd April 2006:
Man that story was long-but it was still good! I usually find it hard to keep reading if it has quite a few chapters but this one got me hooked! Well done! Just off to read the prequel...

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this story :) Thanks for reviewing

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Review #43, by DracoAries Shadows At Privet Drive

20th April 2006:
Ooooh... me like. Sorry I havn't read it yet, but I've been really busy. Good work though.

Author's Response: Thats ok, I understand completely. I'm glad u enjoyed the first chapter, thanks for reviewing ;)

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Review #44, by Smells Like Team Spirit The End Of One Story, The Beginning Of Another

15th April 2006:
another gr8 chapter as always

Author's Response: Cheers ;) Thanks for reviewing my first fan fic, I think you're a great reviewer :)

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Review #45, by Smells Like Team Spirit Goodbyes

15th April 2006:
soz i took so long t review gr8 chapter

Author's Response: Thats ok, i've been taking a long time updating. Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #46, by darthvengeful The End Of One Story, The Beginning Of Another

20th March 2006:
Well firstly thank you for your kind words about me, much appreciated. As for the story well written, extremely interesting and very enjoyable to read. One of my favourites and I can't wait for the next installment. And of course thank you for a great story and if you need any help I will gladly help out again.

Author's Response: My pleasure :) Yiu've always been a great reviewer, and I just had 2 mention u! I'm glad u liked the chapter, and even more gald u like the story :D The Prequel is up for validation, and will probably be out tommorow :) Thanks for been a great reviewer and i wish u all the luck on your story, it's great :D

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Review #47, by deamonxanth The End Of One Story, The Beginning Of Another

20th March 2006:
This story is excellent. I love this last feeling. You wrote Nevilles feelings for leaving yuna, excellent. I cant wait to read the sequel. Have you already started it?

Author's Response: Sadly I have not started the Sequel, because I have started writing the Prequel :) I'm so happy u liked this story! I wanted the ending to lead onto the Sequel, i'll inform u when it's coming out ;) prequel up for validation

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Review #48, by deamonxanth The Plan

17th March 2006:
This is prehaps the saddest chapter ever. I hate the fact that she moved away and there love died because of it. personal experiences you know. BUt any way good chapter starting to get a lot more detailed.

Author's Response: Yes true. Luna's fathers scared for her, and she had to move away. I'm happy u liked it. Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #49, by deamonxanth The Tension Brakes

17th March 2006:
Ahh, I'm trying not to review to much, you must be getting agrivated by now but In the last chapter I nearly laughed my head off as stuart talked about the professors. And this chapter was so sad, I never once thought that hagrid would be the one to die. I figured that maybe Ron, hermione or even Ginny but Hagrid never crossed my mind. creative

Author's Response: No i'm not getting annoyed about u reviewing don't think that! I'm happy 2 get reviews of any feedback. Yes I loved writing Stuarts bit about the Professor and i'm happy u liked it :) U really think it was creative me killing Hagrid? Thanks, I perosnally didn't know who was going to die, but then hagrid popped up and I thought, it had to be him. It was a hard chapter 2 write.

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Review #50, by deamonxanth Mrs Bertha and the Village of Nowhere

17th March 2006:
I figured that they had something to do with a greater plan i just didn't know what. I love this chapter though It reminds me of Stephen Kings Gungslinger book. IN book four of the serius there was a live train, I cant remember its name but it was one crazy train.

Author's Response: I'm so happy u love this chapter! It's reasons like these that I write! As for the plan, yep they have big plans. As for the Stephen King book, I quite like his books, but have never read the Dark Tower series. I recall about the train in the book where it tortures it's victims, but the idea for Mrs Bertha just sprung up in my mind after watching Flight Plane with Jodie Foster. Thanks for reviewing :)

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