Reading Reviews for The Marauder Years
56 Reviews Found

Review #26, by blackballet An Expected Letter

11th August 2013:
This is really great start. I've never written someone getting a letter because I could never write the parents! You did very well with this, although they could be a bit more surprised.

I think you handled Petunia very well, and how Lily said she'd been brewing since they meet Severus. And at the very end all I could think was poor Petunia!

Great work

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review :) I'm glad you thought this was a good start. I have had a few comments about how readily they accept Lily being a witch, and you are all totally right! So,I am going to edit this chapter a bit to make Mr. and Mrs. Evans more surprised when Lily gets her letter.

Yay, I'm glad you thought I handled Perunia well :) and I'm so happy you thought 'poor Petunia' at the end - that's what I was aiming for ;)

Thanks again for the review :)

Haronione ♥

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Review #27, by Anonymous Letters Home

9th August 2013:
I think it's a great story and I hope you'll continue but if you're planning to make James join the team if his first year it won't work cause Harry Potter is the youngest Seeker in a century.
Anyway, great story ;)

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much for your review, I really appreciate it :)

Ahh, don't worry, this story will be staying strictly canon... And Harry Potter will remain the youngest seeker of the century ;) The tryouts will be coming up in the next chapter!

Thanks again for the review, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Haronione ♥

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Review #28, by AlexFan The Sorting

7th August 2013:
This is the first time that I've read a sorting story in fanfiction and not been bored. They're all usually the same but this one kept me interested.

I applaud you on your Sorting Hat since that's always something difficult to do. I've spent my times just sitting and trying to come up with a song but I can't do it.

My favourite person had to be Peter, I just thought he was so adorable how he got so excited when he introduced himself and accidentally spilled Remus's drink.

And at least the dungbombs finally worked! I can already see the chaos that is going to be caused by James and Sirius.

Author's Response: Thank you for another lovely review AlexFan :)

I am so glad you found this chapter interesting! I know what you mean about them usually being the same, and was conscience of this when writing it, so I'm pleased you found it different and not boring :) Ha, as for the sorting hat's song - it's not that great for the length of time I spent working on it lol but thank you for commenting on it :D

I'm so glad you liked Peter. I think in going to have a lot of fun with him - especially in these earlier years, I see him as quite an eager excitable young lad (and a little bit clumsy). I hate it when marauder fics don't have Peter in them or only have fleeting mentions of him. He was a marauder for a reason, and I think that while others saw him as a bit of a tag-along to James and Sirius, I don't think the marauders saw him like this (although, Sirius does to start with in this fic ;)). I am really looking forward to building up Peter's character!

Haha, yes at least the dung bombs worked even if they did get the wrong victim. I can't wait to write about all the chaos James and Sirius cause - its going to be fun :)

Thanks again for a great review

Haronione ♥

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Review #29, by AlexFan The First Train Ride

6th August 2013:
I got extremely excited when I saw that this was cannon. A lot of people seem to skip and change what happened when Lily got on the Hogwarts Express and was forced to sit with James and Sirius. I was glad to see though that you added in your own little bit to make it a bit different.

This was a lot more interesting than the last chapter. I felt like I always do whenever I re-read a book, I know what's going to happen, I know where the good parts are and I'm excited to get to them.

But anyway, I really really loved this and I think you're an awesome writer!

Author's Response: Hello again AlexFan, thanks for another lovely review :)

I'm glad you got excited when you saw it stuck to canon! I am a stickler for canon. This chapter was originally written prior to DH and had Lily share a compartment with Remus and an OC, but after DH I just had to change it to keep it canon! I found it rather hard to write the interaction between them all - due to the three line rule. So I hope it reads well and doesn't seem disjointed.

I'm glad you found it interesting - I couldn't help but have James and Sirius start off as they mean to go on ;) It's really good to hear that you find yourself getting excited to get to the 'good parts' :)

I am so glad you loved this, and thank you so much for the compliment :D You just made my day!

Haronione ♥

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Review #30, by AlexFan Diagon Alley

6th August 2013:
Hello! I'm here for the review battle!

What I loved about this chapter was the innocence in it. Lily and Remus have no idea what they're going to go through when they get to Hogwarts, they're just so excited to get to go. You really brought out the excitement that each of them felt about being magical.

I also love that you show a little bit about Petunia. Most of the time it's never mentioned why she is the way that she is but you give little snippets of her feelings here and there that make the readers understand why she's a little bit bitter.

Point of view changes are difficult to pull off because more often than not, they disrupt the flow of your chapter and can be a little bit awkward but you pulled it off really well. I liked getting to see things from Remus's and Lily's point of view.

The description was great as well, you had enough to keep the story interesting and give the reader a picture in their head about the setting and the feelings that the characters had, but not enough to bore someone to death.

Really well done job on this chapter!

Author's Response: Hi AlexFan! Thanks for the lovely review and sorry for such a late response!

I'm glad you thought I portrayed their excitement well :) I wonder if they would all have still been so excited to go if they had known what was to come. I'm really enjoying writing the innocent years before the war really starts. Unfortunately it won't be long before the darkness starts infiltrating the story :(

I am so glad you liked Petunia in this, the downfall of Lily and Petunia's relationship will come up quite a bit in this story, so I hope you enjoy my interpretation of it :)

I'm so pleased to hear that you thought the point of view changes were done well and that you liked seeing both Remus and Lily's experience :)

I remember struggling with this chapter (I wrote it in 2006!) and worrying about how much detail to include about their trip to Diagon Alley, so I'm really glad you thought the descriptions were great and it was interesting :)

Thanks again for the great review :)

Haronione ♥

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Review #31, by Carolynn Letters Home

3rd July 2013:
I'm here with a reveiw!

This was bit of a filler chapter so I really don't have say about it.

Reading all of this story, I think you should put a plot twist in. Now they can be really hard to firgure out (trust me I tried) so just have on you mind. Good writing!

Author's Response: Thankyou for the review!

Yes, this chapter was a bit of a filler but there are a few bits in there that will be important to the plot later on ;) Thanks for the advice, I do have some plot twists coming! Thanks for all the reviews :)

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Review #32, by Carolynn Detentions and Full Moons

3rd July 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

I liked how you put Remus's feelings down, I think I read one decent fan-fic that captured his feelings towards his furry little probelm. Good writing!

Author's Response: Thankyou for the review!

I'm glad you liked how I wrote Remus's feelings towards his furry little problem. I think that first transformation at Hogwarts would have been a very difficult one for Remus and I didn't think it could just be skimmed over. Thanks again for the review!

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Review #33, by Carolynn Early Morning Meeting

2nd July 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

I liked the talk between Dumbledore and Remus, I've never read anything like that before.

Author's Response: Thankyou for the review! I'm glad you liked the meeting between Dumbledore and Remus :)

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Review #34, by Carolynn The Sorting

2nd July 2013:
I'm here with a requested reveiw!

Good chapter, you captures what Sirius probably thought and felt when he got his sorting done. Good writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I struggled with this chapter for some reason, so I'm glad you thought it was good!

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Review #35, by Carolynn The First Train Ride

1st July 2013:
I'm here with a requested review!

I liked how you protrayed James, Sirius and Remus. James and Sirius have their care-free personalites while Remus has his cautiuos personality, it really fits with how J.K. Rowling wrote about them. Good writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!

I'm glad you like the characterisation of James, Sirius and Remus. I felt that Remus would have been very cautious when he first started Hogwarts - but I think James and Sirius may rub off on him later in the story ;)

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Review #36, by Carolynn Diagon Alley

1st July 2013:
I'm here with a review!

I liked how you how you put Remus in this chapter, the last time when I read a story in his veiw was 6 months ago. It's just the beginning so I can't say much about plot and characters. Good writing!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked Remus in this chapter. The story will alternate between POV's throughout. Thanks again!

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Review #37, by Carolynn An Expected Letter

1st July 2013:
I'm here with a long waited review!

I'm so sorry that it took me a month to take this up!

I can't say much as it's the first chapter, but I'm impress that you mentioned important parts in the story of Snape and Lily. Good writing and again, I'm sorry it took this long!

Author's Response: Thankyou for the review!

This chapter was originally written long before we found out about Snape and Lily's relationship, so it was edited after DH to keep it canon - I'm a stickler for canon! I wasn't sure if I'd included enough Snape/Lily so I'm glad you liked what was included.

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Review #38, by BellaFan202 Diagon Alley

28th June 2013:
Hi! I am so so sorry for the long wait! I feel really bad because I have absolutely no excuse! So I'll just get on with it so you don't have to wait any longer.

I really liked this. The Evans family seemed very believable to me. I really liked how Mr. Evans kind of seemed like Mr. Weasley, except with magic instead of Muggles. I thought that was funny. :) I also thought the Lupin family was good. It was nice to get an insight to Remus' childhood before he went to Hogwarts and see his and his family's concerns and doubts and excitement about Hogwarts. It was really refreshing, I think.

I liked how you showed Remus getting his letter, then flashed to Lily before kind of merging to two storylines, then going back to Remus. That can kind of be tricky sometimes but I think you did a really good job of that.

The dialogue was a lot better then it was in the first chapter. It was a little bit more relaxed and showed the emotion that the character was feeling, like the Evans' excitement, Petunia's anger and doubt, Remus' concern, and the Lupin's relief.

I haven't really got a whole lot else to say, but please request the next chapter! :)


Author's Response: Hi BellaFan202, it is my turn to apologise for such a late response to this review!! Sorry!

I'm glad you liked this and that you thought the Evans family seemed believable. I didn't intentionally make Mr.Evans seem like a muggle Mr. Weasley, it just kind of happened and I'm pleased you thought it was funny :)

Remus and how he deals with his 'furry little problem' are a big part of the story. So I felt that it was important to include him getting his letter. I'm glad you think I did a good job of merging the two storylines.

I'm so happy you think the dialogue was a lot better in this chapter :D

Thankyou for the great review! :)

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Review #39, by -BookDinosaur- Diagon Alley

15th June 2013:
Hey, -BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

So, I really liked this chapter. The flow and pace I felt were really good, and I thought that the changes in POV were really well done, it didn't disrupt the flow at all, so well done on that.

I really loved your characterisation on Remus and Lily, they acted really canon-ly. I especially loved how troubled Remus was about his condition and that he might slip up at Hogwarts, it was a really nice touch and very realistic.

Again, I'll have to say I really love how you are taking this story from the very beginning and telling us all their experiences at Hogwarts rather than just one year, like most authors do. The one concern I have is with this plot, there are going to be a lot of chapters where your characters don't do anything, as per real life, so I don't know how you're going to handle that. But so far, your plot has been really engaging and easy to read about.

All in all, this was a really good chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hey, -BookDinosaur-, thanks for another lovely review :-)

I'm glad to hear you liked this chapter and that you felt the change in POV was done well. There will be quite a few changes in POV throughout the story so I hope I can continue to do them well!

I'm really pleased you like the characterisation of Remus. I really feel that he would have been worried about starting Hogwarts and he is going to have a few troubled chapters before he becomes the Marauder we know and love!

I'm glad you love that this is telling the story from the beginning of Hogwarts - I'm really enjoying writing it! I understand your concerns about the plot but I have quite a few plot lines planned for this story and hopefully it will stay interesting.

Thanks again for the wonderful review :-)

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Review #40, by SilentConfession An Expected Letter

10th June 2013:
Hey! I'm here for your review request!

You have a nice writing style. It makes reading this so much nicer and clear. It's simple but very to the point and it allows me to see everything you're describing clearly. You also have a really great balance of dialogue and description here which is great! It gives the first chapter a very rounded feeling to it. (i would however suggest to work on what you say with your dialogue because dialogue can characterize characters just as much as description and so far it seems quite formal, making the Evans family seem slightly stiff.)

Generally you're flow is really great and easy to read but there are times that you misuse commas and the sentences get really long. It disrupts the flow a bit and takes the reader out of the story briefly. I'd suggest going over it one more time to clear that up.

So far you've played it quite safe characterization wise. I think Petunia might be my favourite because we see the hurt that she experiences loosing her sister, feeling left out and not special because she didn't get any magical ability, and that she really loved Lily at one point. It brings a lot of emotion to your story because with this once thing it tears everything that Petunia knew away from her and she can't handle it.

It's hard to comment on your other characters as it is so early on in your story and you may have other plans for them. But right now it seems like they are this perfect little family and Lily appears almost saint like even as a little girl. It would be great to see you make her your own and give her a twist in her personality. Just don't fall into the trap of making Lily perfect and a wonderful person, she was human after all. What you've done really well though is giving her soul and spirit. You've kept her canon which is great, but as i said before don't be afraid to round out her character as the story continues.

The parents seemed a bit flat to me and although appeared loving and kind they also showed no resistance to the fact that their daughter was a witch. I'm not sure if that would be something that could be easily accepted or believed. To me it made them seem unreal as parents.

You also asked about plot and at the moment i can't comment on it as you haven't give too much about what is going to push this on yet. This is okay as you've just introduced your characters, you've also introduced the fact that Lily is going to have to deal with the loss of her sister, and that she'll miss her family. This is all a great base to start off with and shows that there is a story to tell.

Thank you for requesting me! I hope you found this review helpful :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thankyou very much for the great review.

I have thought my writing style was quite simple (and am rather envious of some of the fantastically talented authors on this site) so it is nice to know that it's nice and that it works, and is not too simple. It is also good to hear that the balance between dialogue and description is great :) I have had a few comments about the dialogue being quite formal and am going to edit to (hopefully) make it better.

I'm glad you thought the flow was generally good. I will go over the chapter again to work on the long sentences and comma use.

I have quite a bit planned for the relationship between Lily and Petunia, and the downfall of it. These plans include Lily being far from saint-like and will hopefully show that it was not all Petunia's fault. I'm glad you liked Petunia - I actually feel quite sorry for her!

I agree with your comments about Lily's parents and am going to work on this chapter to make them more believable.

Thanks again for the review! I found it really helpful :)

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Review #41, by BellaFan202 An Expected Letter

8th June 2013:
Hello! I am so sorry it took so long to do this. I kept procrastinating and procrastinating and I don't know why but I am sooo sorry! D:

Anyway, I really liked this. Everyone seemed really in-character to how I kind of imagine them. Obviously we don't really know a whole lot about Lily and Petunia at that age and we know practically nothing about Mr. and Mrs. Evans but they acted pretty much how I figured they would.

Except I didn't really expect Mr. and Mrs. Evans to just accept the fact that Lily was a witch so quickly. They should have had questions and kind of skeptical before they accepted it, I think. Also, whenever you write "Mrs Evans" or "Mr Evans" there should be a period after the title.

This was a really good introductory chapter, I think. I provided enough but not too much background information and didn't get away from what was happening in the present more than it should to foreshadow or show background information.

The only thing I have to say is that the dialogue seemed really formal for a family setting. I know that I always thought of the Evans family as a fairly intelligent family, but I feel like, as close and happy as they are with each other, they could be a little bit more casual when they talk to each other. Just a suggestion. :)

Other than that, though, I really liked this chapter and definitely hope you'll request the next chapter for me to review! :)


Author's Response: Hi BellaFan202,

Thankyou for the lovely review :) I'm glad you think everyone seemed in character to how you imagined them. I agree with you that I have made Mr. and Mrs. Evans accept it too easily and will be editing this chapter to correct that.

You are the second person to mention that the dialogue seems formal, so I will work on that and hopefully improve it.

I'm glad you liked this chapter! I found this review very helpful and will definitely request you for the next chapter :D
Thanks again x

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Review #42, by long_live_luna_bellatrix An Expected Letter

8th June 2013:
Hi! I thought this was an enjoyable chapter-- you depicted a very canon Evans family, all the characters both fitting in with what I know as well as adding details that were strong.

For instance, I thought it was funny that when the juice spilled at breakfast, Petunia instinctively leapt for a mop to clean it up. Details like that are fabulous: details that explain, or at least continue, future character traits. Considering that Petunia is a neat freak in the future, this reaction was a very clever idea.

One suggestion I'd like to make is regarding your dialogue. First, the dialogue is entertaining, but it feels almost scripted, especially in the first half of the chapter. Every remark is perfect, echoing that of those perfect families you see in commercials. I personally would have liked to see new and surprising things about the family. Also, aside from the content of the dialogue, its punctuation could be improved. Try reading your dialogue aloud-- in many cases, I think there are commas that are missing. If, while reading it aloud, your voice ever pauses, you know that you need a comma or some other form of punctuation.

The only other thing I can think of is originality. Like I said earlier, you've described a very canon lifestyle-- however, it's also very predictable. This scene is something many of us have imagined before. So while I love some of your canon details, I think some newer details could be used here as well. For instance, you mentioned Severus and Lily's relationship several times, always describing what we already knew. I would have loved to see your own spin on it-- maybe Lily has been worried sick the last 24 hours, knowing that Severus already has his letter but hers hasn't arrived yet. Maybe her parents actually despise him, or maybe he's approached them in secret to warn them of this letter that he knows Lily will get. Perhaps I just like surprises, but those are just a couple examples of things that are slightly different (but no less canon) that could have made your chapter more interesting.

You've got a strong start here, though. You clearly have an established sense of your characters and you've set the groundwork for Lily's adventures to come. You can do a lot of great things with this; good job.


Author's Response: Hi lllb, thank you for the review :)

I really appreciate your CC and suggestions. I will read through the dialogue and edit it - punctuation and content. I am a stickler for canon and prefer stories that keep to canon. I thought about this the other day and realised that perhaps I was being too canon and needed to inject a bit of originality. Thankyou for your suggestions for newer details for this chapter. I have some ideas forming for this chapter now (which won't make it less canon) and will edit it soon.

Thanks again, this review was really helpful :-)

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Review #43, by AlexFan An Expected Letter

7th June 2013:
I love reading anything Marauders related and I especially love reading James/Lily so I was excited to read this.

Your characterization for Lily and Petunia were spot on, especially for Petunia. After the comment that her dad made about Lily always being special it's understandable that Petunia would resent Lily and become mean to her. I'll bet that she never forgot what her father said ever, I'll bet that it always stuck with her forever and everyday she'd be reminded that Lily was special and that she wasn't.

Lily sounded exactly like a little girl whose sister was mad at her for something she didn't know. Confused and a little bit hurt.

Your chapter flowed really well and as far as I could see there weren't any grammatical mistakes and if there are (I can be pretty bad at spotting them sometimes) they didn't stand out.

Anyway, this was a really interesting chapter and I really enjoyed reading it!

Author's Response: Hi AlexFan, thankyou for the lovely review!

I'm glad you thought the characterisation of Lily and Petunia was good. From what we see in the books Petunia has issues with how easily her parents accepted Lily being a witch and I feel they may have shown favouritism towards Lily because of it (or at least, that's how Petunia see's it). There is more to come on their relationship and the family dynamics.

Thanks again for the review and I'm pleased you enjoyed reading it :)

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Review #44, by -BookDinosaur- An Expected Letter

3rd June 2013:
Hey, -BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

So, first off, I'm just going to say that I really liked that you are starting from the very beginning of Lily's time at Hogwarts, rather than skipping straight to seventh year like most authors do.

Anyways, down to reviewing. I really liked how you wrote Petunia and Lily's relationship at the beginning of the chapter-I love that you show us they did get along really well, once upon a time.

I also really liked how you characterised Petunia. You showed really well that it wasn't just a bad relationship, but Petunia was jealous of all the attention Lily was getting, and maybe her magic as well.

I liked the end as well-it really focuses on how alone and down Petunia must have been feeling.

My CC for you isn't really CC at all, only a suggestion, but just to emphasise how close Lily and Petunia are, maybe you could have Lily call Petunia by her old nickname 'Tuney'? If you wnat you can ignore this, it is just a suggestion after all. :)

Overall, a great chapter that made me want to read more.

Author's Response: Hey -BookDinosaur- thankyou for the review :-)

I'm glad you liked how Petunia and Lily's relationship is written, I've always thought that it was magic that came between them, and I like to think they used to be close.

I also like to think that Petunia was once a nice person and that she became jealous and bitter about Lily's 'new life' and the attention it brought her, so I'm glad you like how Petunia has been characterised.

Thanks for the CC, I won't ignore your suggestion, I agree that that would emphasise the closeness of their relationship - so I will be changing that!

Thanks again for a lovely review :) x

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Review #45, by brighton An Expected Letter

10th May 2013:

Author's Response: Thankyou :-)

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Review #46, by alexis Early Morning Meeting

1st May 2013:

Author's Response: Thankyou for the review :-) am hoping to update this week x

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Review #47, by 1_Ginny_1 The Sorting

26th July 2007:
This is really good! Please update soon!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review :D I'm glad you enjoyed it, I hope you'll enjoy the rest! The next chapter should be up soon :) Thanks again for the review!

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Review #48, by PhoenixStorm The Sorting

20th July 2007:
Yay, an update! This just fuels my desire to bug you for them though, you know :p . As always I love your writing!!! omg it's JUST like reading as if JKR were writing the marauders going through Hogwarts. You might be writing this a good deal longer than she was the HP ones if you're going to do all 7 though :p .

So I particularly love how you're writing Sirius and Lily (I can't decide which one more so they get mentioned together :p ). I can see both Sirius and James becoming the people we saw in the pensieve quite easily, and even though Sirius is in Gryffindor and he is great and all, he can still be cruel. Lily is just wonderful, and I like how you had her unable to stop herself from asking questions, it could have been seen as annoying and I like that she isn't immediately perfect or anything. Also gives her personality. Am very interested in Isabel too.

I really liked the moment with Peter lol, I've had many such falls :p . And the reactions of everyone around him were very real, could completely see the situation in my mind (perhaps this is what set me off daydreaming ;) ). Your description of everything is very strong and detailed, which is something I cant do myself but that I like to read. It was just a really good chapter and I can't wait to read the next and them settling into lessons! :)

Author's Response: Hey PhoenixStorm! Thanks for another great review :) lol, feel free to bug for updates, I'll be returning the favour :p Wow, that is quite a compliment! Not sure it's true, but thanks :D lol, yes, i probably will be writing this for quite some time but I'm determined to finish it!

I'm glad you like the way I'm writing Sirius and Lily. Yes, I think Sirius would have been a little bit cruel, after all he's only had his family for company for the past 11 years and we all know what they were like! lol, yes, someone asking loads of questions could be seen as annoying, does it remind you of anyone heehee Well, I don't think Lily was perfect, who is? You'll have to wait and see what part Isabel plays in this fic :)

lol, poor Peter, I think he may have a few more moments like that in the rest of this fic :D I'm never sure about my descriptions, always think I've either put too much or not enough, so thanks :) Thanks for the review, hopefully the next update shouldn't be too long!

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Review #49, by shadow wolf of darknes The First Train Ride

31st May 2007:
hey, i love this story and i hope that you will update soon.

Author's Response: hey shadow wolf of darknes, I'm glad you loved my story, thanks for leaving me a review and letting me know! I haven't been writing for a while, life has been a bit busy and hectic for the last few months but I am starting to write again now, so hopefully there will be an update soon :) Thanks again for your review!

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Review #50, by Bibbs The First Train Ride

22nd March 2006:
This chapter was adorable! I loved seeing how they all met each other! I think this is the first fic I have read where it didn't actually place Lily, or Remus and Peter for that matter, in the same compartment with James and Sirius. I like how you have them all separated. I can't wait to see how they come together to be friends later.

The characterizations here were wonderful. I felt so bad for Remus, determined not to even have friends so that he could keep his secret from everyone. James (I was wondering when he would show up) was wonderful. His dad made me laugh. Now I know where James gets it from. Sirius was great too, showing his rebellious streak right from the start. I love the way he and James are already into mischief before they even get to the school.

Next up, the sorting! I can't wait for it. Now I'm going to be checking back for updates. =)

Author's Response: Hey Bibbs! Thanks for the lovely review :D. Yeah, I've read a few fics where they all meet on the train so I wanted it to be a little different, also with the Remus storyline I have planned I couldn't have him befriending James and Sirius on the train :D

Yeah, poor Remus (again), he's going to have a rough few chapters, but never fear, we all know he has to break his 'no friends' rule ;). lol, it did take a while for James to be introduced. The story originally started with James but then I realised I needed the chapters with Lily and Remus, so they were added and the chapters would have been way too long if I'd included James in them :). I couldn't resist having James and Sirius start their friendship with a bit of mischief - starting their pranking career very early on :D

Thanks again for your review :D The next chapter may not be up until after the site update, hopefully it'll be worth the wait =)

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