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Reading Reviews for Not My Own
  
30 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Seasons_Greetings The Switch

12th October 2015:
Hello Marshal!

My name is SeasonsGreetings and I'm here from now until the New Year spreading love and joy across HPFF. After reading your blog about why you love Remus, I thought it'd be a good idea to come by and read one of your stories about him.

The concept of James and Remus switching places really has me curious. Does this mean that Remus dies in James place? If that's the case, once Voldemort is defeated, how come Dumbledore and James don't just tell Harry the truth? I'm sure that will all be answered in the upcoming chapters though.

I never gave much in depth thought to the way that Remus struggles as a werewolf. I mean, I know he had a sad life, but the way you highlight his physical problems really makes him come to life. I felt quite a bit of sympathy for him. I wonder if James will be able to handle it.

I thought you did a good job of writing Dumbledore. He's always very vague when giving out information and the way you wrote his dialogue captured that quite well.

I'll end this here by wishing you a Happy Holiday Season!

Cheers.

SG

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review SG! It was a super pleasant surprise to refresh the page and see that I had a review.

You are right about who dies and about your questions being answered in the coming chapters. Remus' burden isn't an easy one to bare but we oddly end up many times having the grace to handle things we never thought we could because it is necessary we handle those things.

I'm really glad that I was able to exude the characters well. I sometimes question and wonder if I am portraying them true to life. Thanks again for the review!


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Review #27, by Rumpelstiltskin The Switch

3rd October 2015:
Hey, Marshal!

A story about Remus? I love Remus!

In the wake of the war, especially with the werewolf prejudices staked against him, I'd imagine that Remus would be made to feel alone. I think you've done a great job exemplifying that via his characterization, making him feel isolated from even his friends.

That constant fear of an enemy disguising themselves as someone who could otherwise be trusted would have been a tremendous threat during the war. Using Remus' trepidation like you have, where he even isn't sure if he can trust Dumbledore to be Dumbledore, was a clever example of this. I also appreciate the continuation of cannon questioning as proof against such subterfuge. Kudos!

"He doubted that he could ever have back the friendships he once had." -Congratulations, you've broken my heart in six paragraphs. I have a love/hate relationship with this particular part of the war; there are so many, many tragedies, but the appeal of the era is so very, very strong. The Marauders had such a tightly knitted friendship, and this is the era when that all shatters. Oh dear, there go my feels again :(.

Anyway (I promised myself that you wouldn't see all of my crazy upon my first review, so we'll move forward).

The exchange between Remus and James was brilliant. I love that you used that question-system as a method to not only bring in the back story of what happened between the pair, but it also created some excellent dialogue. I can't entirely blame James for thinking ill of his friend -- he has a family to protect, and there's an army of evil after him. At the same time, I do feel bad for Remus -- he's only doing what the Order needs of him.

Ah, conflict. You've wielded it wisely.

The Vicissitudo charm, that's where things took an interesting twist. I don't think I've read anything else with this concept. I like it. I like it a lot. If Remus is more skilled than James, than it definitely makes sense to have him there protecting Lily and Harry.

I can definitely see James having a bit of a difficult time adjusting to Remus' worn body, too.

I could only find a little bit of CC for you, but I tried my best:

The first thing was the spelling of "Mooney". In the books, it was spelled "Moony" (though I can't say with any certainty that that wasn't altered in different versions for different languages -- if that's the case, ignore me). That was nothing, though, I almost didn't catch it.

The second, and last, thing that I saw only stood out to me because it's something that I need to work on with my own writing. Sometimes, more often in large chunks of text where there is no dialogue or action, some of the sentences get a bit wordy.

For example, "Honestly even in the Order, even among his own friends there was mistrust and prejudice against werewolves against him."

It's just a little wordy, and can easily be slowed down with punctuation without having to eliminate anything. Ex: "Honestly even in the Order--even among his own friends--there was mistrust and prejudice against werewolves, against him." Or something like that.

Otherwise, your writing seems pretty tight, and I had an awesome time reading it. I think the plot so far is unique and my interest is piqued. This is something I'd definitely continue reading. I definitely want to find out what happens now that Remus has taken James' place in hiding!

Great job, and thanks for the swap! :D

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Rumpel,

Sorry it has taken me so long to get back you you. I figure an awesome review like yours deserved an equally awesome response. Sadly I don't know if I have the skill sets to live up to that, but I am going to try.

First I want to thank you for your most gracious compliments. Remus is a favorite character of mine and I have always thought that he would be a scape goat considering how clear it is that the friendships were broken to some degree in canon.

I'm glad I succesfully evoked the right emotion and was able to paint a clear picture. That was important to me. I wrote this story several years back and honestly I didn't have the questioning scene and the back story was presented in a flash back - I like the questioning better and it felt right - I'm glad it translated well.

I was over all worried I hadn't successfully written this well. To be honest I even posted this pre-beta and the beta'd chapter has not been approved yet. So with the Mooney vs. Moony that has been fixed and I think I tightened up some of the rambling as well as a few other things. To be told that my writing is 'tight' literally made my day. I'm still riding high on it a day later.

Thank you so much again for the review!


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Review #28, by ABlack The Ultimatum

22nd September 2015:
Overall, I have to say this was a great chapter. I love that you decided to explore the daily challenges Remus faces with his werewolf half from James’ perspective. It serves double duty, allowing us not only to experience it first hand, but also gives James further reason to appreciate and respect what his friend goes through.

Great point touching on the enhanced senses, particularly the sense of smell. Overwhelming is exactly how I would imagine it to be for James.

And can I admit I really liked Rhea, the alpha female? The “I won’t bite – much” line nailed it for me. She’s dangerous in all the right ways. So good when she trailed her hands across Remus/James shoulder. Poor James, married man that he is, he couldn’t have anticipated this when he asked to have the switching spell used.

What a wicked dilemma you have James finding himself in. Infect an innocent child or perhaps betray his wedding vows and sleep with Rhea? I can’t wait to see where you’re taking this.

Author's Response: Thanks. Remus is my passion, I've been writing him for about 10 years now and through the years I have learned a lot from and about the character. I'm glad you liked Rhea, she was a lot of fun to write.

As I was writing her, I realized plot concepts down the road that I had never considered before. Of course, that is much later down the road. I have lot of things to cover before I get back to Rhea.

Thanks for the lovely review! I'm hoping chapter 3 might make an appearance soon enough though I should work on writing more as I only have 4 chapters written thus far.


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Review #29, by carry on with your knitting The Switch

20th September 2015:
This is a really interesting concept!
I thought you portrayed Remus brilliantly, especially with his inner struggles and the hard life he has had. It was heart breaking that he has had to seperate from his friends for thier safety! And to catch the real traitor! Poor guy, I just want to give him a hug!
I also really liked the way you wrote dumbledore speaking, it was spot on!
I'm very excited to read more of this story, I wonder if this means that it was really Remus that died that night and not James? Because that would be an awesome twist and something really unique!

The only thing that I thought could be improved, was to put a few commas in in a few places, but other then that it was great! :)

I would definitely suggest getting a banner from TDA because then your story will catch people's eye when they are looking through the searches :)

I look forward to reading more!

Katie :)

Author's Response: Thank you! You have caught onto the plan. I am glad I was able to write Dumbledore well. He was a concern of mine. I have updated the punctuation some and I have that sitting in the que right now.

Thanks also for the suggestion for a banner, I was thinking I need to do that but first I need to figure out what pictures I want to submit in the request.


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Review #30, by ABlack The Switch

20th September 2015:
Hello Marshal!

What a wonderful start to your story. Remus is one of my favorite characters and I love how you take such pains to reveal the internal battle he wages with the wolf within him.

The idea of the Vicissitudo charm is interesting. Hopefully you show how well (or not) James handles the full burden of being a werewolf in the upcoming chapter. Can't wait to read it.

~Alexis

Author's Response: Thanks! I will admit that Remus is my all time favorite character. I feel like in a lot of ways I've been writing him for ages.

I'm glad you like what I've written so far and the next chapter does focus on James and is currently in que.


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