ha ha brill. chapter of course!! heather finally found out!! YEAH!!
well anyway, the only thing i didnt like was the lines were out of the movie and not the book...only thing i didnt like...
but anyway, this year seemed to go by sooo fast, i was surprised when she went into the shreiking shack, seriously though NO STANLEY??? dude, i liked him though, exept the minor detail he was a death eater. yeah potentially problematic but i like Isaac better though!!^_^
-Wolf Girl~Author's Response: Out of the movie? strange i took a lot out of the book, though i do know practically all the lines cause it was my fav movie maybe they slipped in there. Oh well, yup no stanley but something interesting may just take his place im still working on it. Yes and Isaac is better lmao Thanks for the Review! Report Review
yeah she transformed!! YIPPEE!!!
i lurv wolves so much so much in fact that one of my friends calls me a wolf...annoying actually!!
they dont know whats up with lupin, seriously not that hard, course i ve known for a while soo yeah...but anyway...i dont like Trelawny much, none at all actually. i like how u portray her though, the only thing i have to critize is that you portray the charaters as the why everyone else does, you know what i mean? like having someone on the outside is evil, you make evil, but there may be more to that charater than jsut that, u know like you dont delve into their psyche, you know?? please tell me u do cos i dont want to explain it more!!
P.S. olgged on, im under HauntedLyra_22, ur on my fav list, i have like 100 or more...god i dont think i have a life!!Author's Response: Oh i am so glad you brought that up but don't wanna give it away but I know what you mean. I'm going to do that with Draco and Mr. Wong. But what i don't get what you mean by the outside like the outside as in how they look and act and things or on the outside as like outside hogwarts or the order or something like that but i think i get what you mean and im getting mroe into those two that i mentioned above for a little twist on things...but i won't tell you what cause i think ive said too much lol Anyway Thanks for the review-oh and i've tried looking up your logged on name but i can't find it, hope to though so i can add you to my account, thanks again! Lupins_cub Report Review
hey, readin it again i suppose...doesnt seem much different if any different at all...hmmm.
oh well great chapter, gotta go read the next one!!
-wOLF gIRLAuthor's Response: yeah it shall seem the same but i'm taking a few things out in up coming chapters, like stanley if you remember him won't appear, Heather isn't going to always die in an alternate ending and a few other things i have written down, but yea the first several chapters won't seem that much changed Report Review
yay!! third year my fav.! and i am sooo glad that Remmy did not bite Heather that would just be bad not mention the guilt he would have!!
locket yes interesting very interesting luv the idea!!
haha huge twist i know what it is !!!
~WOLF GIRL~(TOO LAZY TO TAKE CAPS LOCK OF OFF!)Author's Response: lol me too, i love the third movie i even downloaded it from limewire! XD anyway...yes i didn't have the heart for Remus to bite her plus it would have screwed up the whole plot line, you'll find out why he didn't in the saga "The Last of Them" i know i love the locket too, i figured Harry has the photo album so i needed something different. thanks for the review! Report Review
didnt Van Halen do the song "Dreams"? hmm oh well!
glad so glad that heather can transform into a wolf although it is in "Traitor" i forgot how she learned!! i have this short memory problem so i generally have to read a fic several times to get all the details of it!
oh by the way what did it mean when it said that it could have beem eaisly mistaken as a vampire? that made no sense to me what so ever!
rOcK oN!!!Author's Response: i don't know really my beta reader from long ago just said to put that song it instead of the one i had, i liked so i said what the heck. lol yes i have to read my stories over and over cause changes is so long! the mistaken vampire thing is an error but also correct cause he isn't just a vampire he's Heathers father and a death eater who is suposedly in leaque with Sirius, but really they had never even crossed paths since there school days, thanks for the review! Report Review
i like this chappy in ways but i hate it in ways if ya know what i mean!! it is sweet and all but i really hate Mr. Wong cos he is so you cant change my mind so leave me alone!! argh i hate people like that!!
first year, so cute!! little 11 year olds that act older than they really are!!! and i also luv how Hermione, Harry, and Ron all start out friends for awhile at least!!
~Wolf GirlAuthor's Response: lol yup that is Mr. Wong he's going to be even more like that in the saga so watch out. trust me i hate those people too which is probably why i made him that way cause you have to have an unlikable character, don't ya? yup all friends and then it falls appart i dunno why i planned that it just did XD thanks for the review! Report Review
I love the first chapter. There was some great bits in there, 'Kira and Heather went home. Heather on the other hand felt a bit out of place when she looked at the Wong’s. She felt just like at a friend’s house. But she didn’t show it. She didn’t want them to think she didn’t love them because she did with all her heart. They gave her a home, a life.' Beautifully written. I only have to say that the whole thing feels just the Slightest bit rushed. But really I loved the chappy. Oh, yes I have randomly decided to read Changes for a little bit. Makes me giggle.Author's Response: yes it is a bit rushed, i think thats how i think when i write, one idea after another. but its hard to monitor myself XD yeah i loved that line, too, its one of my fav. scenes. thanks for your review! lol and its fine with me if you read changes! Report Review
wow that was... whoa!!!
i luved it!!!!!
it rocked although you didnt really say much about the second year which would have beem interesting and also the part about lupin being her godfather was totally awesome!!!!!!!!
~black wolf girl~Author's Response: yeah the second and first year i left out cause then Heather was more just a student that you would see in the background. that is basically what she is, she is the person you never see but is there. cause whwen i watched the thrid film i was like well even with b uckbeak there why didn't lupin in werewolf form go after them so i was like mmm idea sprang right then and there. thanks for reveiwing! Report Review
i also luv wolves (hints the name) so tha was awesome!!!!!
~wolf girl~Author's Response: yaeh i love wolves too they rock, thanks for reviewing
frankly i think it is going a little fast!!
but otherwise it rocks!!!
~Demon~Author's Response: yeah don't worry-at least i think- it slows a bit after the first few chapters the first two had to go fast for explination and then get rolling into the first year. thanks for reveiwing! Report Review
Lol. It was funny how she guessed Radcliffe. I guess it seemed a bit ironic, as Dan played Harry and all. It also kind of reminded me about HBP, when Slughorn said "Rupert".
I don't think Heather would have known that Lupin knew Sirius, though because not many students would have. The only reason Harry knew was because he had eavesdropped on the professors in the Three Broomsticks, and I don't think Heather, as a Ravenclaw, would be as sneaky as that, though I guess she could be as Marietta was a Ravenclaw and we know what she did...
It was a nice good bit of foreshadowing when Harry said that he thought he saw someone on the Marauder's Map that was supposed to be dead and Heather saw rats.
The rest of it was fun to read because it just happened to be one of my favorite parts in the series! Good job writing this so far. I can't wait to see where you take it.Author's Response: Yeah i threw in that Radcliffe thing i was like the heck with it lol, it reminded me of Slughorn too! but can't remember if i wrote this cahpter before or after HBP. See there is something really really huge about Heather and all these guesses and things you have to read it though it has something to do with her vampire heritage Isaac has it too but it a diffrent way, sorry if thats a bit short but i can't give away any mroe! Yeah with the rats i decided to throw that in for anyone who hasn't read the book and stuff but i rarely doubt that anyone on here hasn't. I loved this part too! book three is my absolute favortie which is why i loved to write it, Thanks for the review!! Report Review
This was a really good chapter, but there were a few minor errors I caught. I wrote a long review for it, but I accidentally closed the window without submitting it, and I can't rewrite it because it was particular things about the chapter, so sorry for the short review, it'll probably be longer next time.
The way you ended the chapter was good. Ending with a question is a good way to keep the reader wanting more, which is why I'm off to read the next chapter!Author's Response: Yeah i think i had a few errors but i am not sure, i shall have to look at it. i know i loved the way I ended it i also love how Heahter hasn't even seen him yet and even tho she will she won't reconize him. this memory thing was kind of mine in a way cause i can remember everything of my past but nothing of the present like math and stuff im not a good memorizer so i decided to switch trhat around in Heather. THanks for the Review!!! Report Review
You had some typos, and instead of using asterisks to divide lines, there is an HTML break that you could use if you wanted to.
All the parts with Heather and Kira were really great. It really did seem like a happy family even though Heather was adopted. You also did a really good job showing us a little about her past.
I don't think anyone besides Harry himself could know that he was almost in Slytherin, so you might want to reword that part a bit. Also, if Heather's last name was Smith, she wouldn't be sorted last; I think it was Blaise Zabini that was.
It was a nice, refreshing change that Heather wasn't sorted into Gryffindor. The rest of it went by a little too fast, and in one part you just skipped over a few months without saying anything about them. You did a good job writing this, very good, but maybe you should get a beta for this so the minor errors can be corrected, too. : ) Again, overall, it was a very good chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to review even the first one, but I've been really busy lately, especially with the scavenger hunt. I promise I'll try to read/review the rest ASAP!Author's Response: Thank you so much for the large review!! Trust me I have been busy too which is why i haven’t been able to get a beta reader. I shall look for the HTML break thanks for the tip! Being new here and all, Yeah the first chapters was suppose to be kind of quick and things i tried to explain as much as i could but also keeping a lot concealed yeah i realize i messed up a bit on the sorting thing but at first no one seemed to notice *nice reading! You could probably be a beta unless you are already* thanks for the review it means a lot to me. I shall check out what i wrote on the sorting hat and see what i wrote, i haven’t checked this chapter out in a while i read it a million times though lol. Thanks a bunch!
Lupins_cub Report Review
This is so great. Your writing style is smooth and the flow is extremely well written. Your characters are great and so far the story is both intreging and brilliant!Author's Response: :) Report Review
this is so well written - I am already enjoying this story immensly. Author's Response: :~) Report Review
ooh! very interesting idea. I must read more!Author's Response: :0) Report Review
AHHH I LOVE ITAuthor's Response: thank you!!! more to some soon, Keep reviewing everyone!! Report Review
I really like this plot!! wonderful!!Author's Response: thank you i was always wondering and worrying about the plit i'm hoping for a big twist but sadly i havn't had inspiration...hopefully soon thanks for reading more soon! Report Review
i like this story. i cant wait to see whats comeing up next. love it so far. more more more...Author's Response: ok ok i shall update that third chapter i just have to emial to to my beta reader, but 'more more more...' shall soon come! thanks! :) Report Review
This is very interesting. I love where it's going, and can't wait for the following chapters.Author's Response: cool, i just moved so i am waiting for my new beta reader to read my first two chapters, hopefully chapter 2 and 4 will be up soon Report Review
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