Reading Reviews for Fallen Auror
49 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Dark Master Qam Court In The Act

11th February 2006:
Sh*t man this is gud. its been a while since u updated but heck uve came bak with a BANG!. i love this story and gave up on thinking that ull update. i was surprised wen i was going through my favourites to see that uve updated the fic. nice i like the one-liners and how u show the action. quite unique, i havnt read a fic with this kind of style and i say its brilliant. update soon laterz

Author's Response: Thanks for the review the next chapter is the last in this story, Harrys monolog will catch up with him, but I think I will use the characters again. I was thinking of publishing them as a serial of five chapter novellas. Keep reading.

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Review #27, by Noblevyne Achilles Heal.

24th January 2006:
Man, your writing packs a real punch. Fantastic rhythm to this chapter, all the use of dark magic was intriguing and the backstory on how Ron was lost was great, good idea to mention Ron's nerves as a problem in his field work and a reason for his death, little tidbits keep me happy.

The tension and venom between Malfoy and Harry was delicious, Malfoy's such an evil little twerp, playing on all Harry's weaknesses and open wounds.

I love the resolution os Harry's trial, that it comes down to asomething as trivial as incorrect paperwork and Draco's ambition got in the way again.

The last line? Priceless and so completely Luna.

Author's Response: Thanks for your kind words of encouragement, as for the nasty little draco he get his coming in the next chapter.

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Review #28, by njhill22 Achilles Heal.

6th November 2005:
Wow. That's about all I can say about this story so far. Brilliantly written, excellent, not to mention original ideas, and I love your writing style in general so far. Keep up the great work and I look forward to chapter 4.

Author's Response: Thanks, chapter four will be along soon.

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Review #29, by IchigoPan (not logged in) Achilles Heal.

1st November 2005:
Just by a 5 minute difference. I love how you placed Hermione's character into such a placid display of professionality when Harry felt that this case was going to top him over with a one way ticket to Azkaban. Draco's anger, of course, is how he would respond to something like this. So long has he wanted to show up Harry and now he had the chance. Sad thing was that he was 5 minutes off. Great chapter.

Author's Response: Its nice to turn the tables on the bad guy once in a while, thanks for the review.

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Review #30, by IchigoPan (not logged in) Uncertain urgency

1st November 2005:
This chapter seemed very 'Matrix' influenced, from the rain to the men in black capes. The fight scenes were very well executed with the flying of spells, body movement and suspense.

Author's Response: Thanks.

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Review #31, by IchigoPan (not logged in) After Dark

1st November 2005:
Hey, I found your name under firefawn's favorite authors and now I can see why. When I read your story, I had the perfect film noir images in my head as the story progressed, from Harry's movements with the two wands to the fire whiskey shots to the expressions on each of the character's faces. I also love how you portrayed Harry as the 'fallen hero' like he was yesterday's news along with the last name change to keep his anonmity. All in all, your story gives it a very 'Sin City' with a Dick Tracy cross over feel. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you, you definately get the feel I am trying for, thank you for your review.

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Review #32, by sectumsempra12 Achilles Heal.

30th October 2005:
That is really good! Update soon.

Author's Response: Thank you, and I will...

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Review #33, by The Dark Lord Nedved Achilles Heal.

29th October 2005:
hahhaahhah! i loved it. The style has beomce more wordy, but it's still cool. I rather the previosu chapter where the film nori style was really put into the spotlight.

Author's Response: Thanks.

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Review #34, by Vini Achilles Heal.

27th October 2005:
That was brilliantly written. I take English A Levels and the level of your writing blows the roof off into the sky. The plot is also amazingly thought out, and I just have to say that I'm so glad you updated. You definitely have a way with words. :D

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

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Review #35, by Dark Master Qam Uncertain urgency

17th October 2005:
Woah this is gud. i like it. its got the Max Payne type of storyline with gangsters and the way harry goes into bullet-time (matrix) youve got to update ASAP. great so far. for some reason i imagine this as black and white. a bit like sin city even though i havnt seen it lol.

Author's Response: You have it exactly right, that is exactly the sort of thing I was trying to create. Thanks for the review.

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Review #36, by laughable_black_storm Uncertain urgency

8th October 2005:
Wow, some action in this chapter! Great work! You have a very distinct writing style and it adds a lot of character to the story. However, I found this chapter moved quite fast, and I was confused at parts. Other than that, amazing!

Author's Response: Thanks, it is quick paced, sometimes I like to emphasise the passing of events, with the sussinct description. Thank you for your review.

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Review #37, by The Dark Lord Nedved Uncertain urgency

29th September 2005:
"They were up. So were the sisters. They were down." Yo man. This here is probably the coolest one-liner i have ever seen. And let me tell you, the readers say I'm no slouch at one liners, but man, this one is on point. You got yourself a very satisfied reader. The second chapter's wording style was tighter though, and i'm always excited to read a story that contiunously tries to improve instead of settling for less. Respect!

Author's Response: Thank you for such positive comments. The writing style is something I am working extremely hard on, so I am glad to know someone appreciates it.

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Review #38, by Ghislaine Arsenault Uncertain urgency

23rd September 2005:
I really like the way you employ those short and static sentences, it really gives your work an atmosphere. There's still the small problem of grammar, but all in all it's a very good piece of writing.

Author's Response: Thank you for your positive comments, I'll be working on improving my grammar.

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Review #39, by Ghislaine Arsenault After Dark

23rd September 2005:
I really like your idea, and the artistic style you've adopted. It sounds as if it's a voice over for a film, and not a story, which I think was your intention, but in any case it works. It's a hard thing to pull off, but I think you have. That said, there are some grammatical errors and problems with syntax, like this "He must have a have had a stealth sensoring charm on the door." for instance. I'm really quite impressed with what you've done here, though.

Author's Response: Thank you for the advice, I altered the typo. Thank you for pointing it out, I much rather someone tell me theres a mistake, and what it is, then I can correct it. Thank you for the review.

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Review #40, by Vini Uncertain urgency

23rd September 2005:
Wow, I have to say that your words are quite captivating. The story line is absolutely brilliant and your language use is even better. This is definitely going into my favourites, and I really hope to see a new chapter soon. When will you be updating again?

Author's Response: I have been trying to update every two weeks or so, I am still grinding my way through the third chapter. Thanks for your support and comments.

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Review #41, by Vini After Dark

23rd September 2005:
I saw your fic in the recently added and I daresay it is extremely interesting to read...I like your style of writing too, it's extremely dark and quiet suspenseful...onto the second chapter then...

Author's Response: Thank you.

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Review #42, by Noblevyne Uncertain urgency

23rd September 2005:
Your descriptions are magnificent, you know, I actually changed the song I was listening to to some clunky jazz, just because it deserved some sort of complete atmosphere. (Run DMC just didn't fit the tone :P) I loved the introduction of Luna, christ, she's perfect for this sort of world. I love the rituals and the details you've added to the Death Eaters (and I swear, the name Walpurgis gets my trivia geek going crazy), it's interesting to read this take on them. Fantastic cliff write more!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked Luna, and as long as the clunky jazz has lots of dirty saxaphone you'll be fine. Thank you for your positive comments.

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Review #43, by laughable_black_storm After Dark

22nd September 2005:
This was a great beginning, I can't wait for the next chapter. I don't think I've ever read anything so dark, but angst is my friend, I'm not complaining. You have some grammar mistakes but those are easy to fix. You introduced what was happening and you left me in suspense, brilliant. The dialogue was great, you showed all the characters' personalities very well. Good job, keep it up.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing, the next chapter is now up.

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Review #44, by Noblevyne After Dark

20th September 2005:
This is definitely one of the most interesting and original ideas I've come across in awhile. You set the tone beautifully, everything is slightly hazy and dark and it all fits very well for a possible future. Instead of making it all sunshine and daisies and a million kids that he and Ginny popped out (all named Lily jr and James the second), this is gritty and edgy and I love it. Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you, I am saving lily jr and james the second for a future scene, where in a fit of complete angst they are driven to take their own lives in an epic suicide pact, set to the sombre tones of Nu-Metal.

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Review #45, by firefawn After Dark

11th September 2005:
Wow. Every word of this fiction has been carefully chosen. That is one thing that is immediately apparent upon reading it. I must admit, that I am extremely impressed. I love the methodical actions of Malfoy as he saunters in, and how Harry is slowly becoming aware of being awake at the beginning of the fiction. The lines:

Thunder. My eyes flew open. A glare. Focus came. My gaze fixed. There the silhouette, on the reverse of my office door. I fumbled the half empty bottle of fire whisky into the bottom draw of my desk and spoke out. “Come in,” my throat had been dry; I cleared my mouth and started to speak out again. The door opening had cut me off. The silhouette had belonged to Draco Malfoy. He sauntered in, sat, and placed his hat down on my desk.

Those above lines were particularly well done, so great work on that. This is going into my favorites and I have added you to my favorite authors list. I cannot wait to see where this story goes. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for such a great review, I am very happy you like the style. I will try to keep the mood for you. Thank you for the inspiration I will post more soon.

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Review #46, by Urvi After Dark

10th September 2005:
It's definitely something different. I liked the whole Auror idea you wrote about and the animosity between Harry and Draco is always fun to read about. The only problem I had with it was that the writing seemed short and abrupt when I read it. The sentences were a bit on the short side. Maybe you should try combining some sentences together and see how that works out. Besides that, everything was fine. Keep writing!

Author's Response: I’m sorry you don’t get on with structure of the sentences, but I am writing a stylised monolog. The abrupt sentences were very deliberate tool; I know they fall outside on conventional grammar. In this case, I am using them in a two-fold strategy. The first to emphasise Harry’s desperate, corroded and absolute outlook on a world that ultimately sickens him. Most things that Harry sees fit to pass comment on are not worth more than a few words in his view. The second is to try to establish a pace that makes the reader feel like they are being shot at with a semi automatic word cannon. Thanks for the encouragement I hope you keep reading.

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Review #47, by Lucid After Dark

5th September 2005:
I liked this a lot. I think the Noir style fits around the wizarding world surprisingly ease, to the point that a few lines in and I don't notice it anymore. Since I've been watching things like Sin City, I have a real taste for the dark and Noir at the moment and this didn't disappoint in any way. I liked the first person narration/monologue style from Harry's point of view, which judging from the things that have happened to him, is a bit skewed. The humour is very subtle sometimes, especially the Fred and George moment. There are some blinding lines in there too like I took a deep breath and sighed a man could get lost in a smell like that; spend days intoxicated with hope and desire. and The wand in my left hand always felt heavy beyond its size. Soaked in blood, gorged with the souls it had devoured. really explosive stuff. The plot is very engaging to, as are your Noir versions of the canon characters, I absolutely love this :D

Author's Response: thanks for the review.

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Review #48, by Darkheart After Dark

5th September 2005:
This is the first time I’ve read anything like this, and I can truely say I liked it. I hope you’ll update soon.


Author's Response: I have another chapter drafted, but I need to tie up some plot issues first. Thanks for reading, I wont keep you too long.

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Review #49, by Prudence Prior After Dark

5th September 2005:
This is a stunning beginning. D. Hammet would be so proud. The bit with George/Fred and the red dress was's okay that it's funny, isn't it? Because you've captured Hammet's Maltese Falcon and transferred it to the Wizarding World in a delightful way. This is very noir but your tongue must be firmly planted in your cheek. Your banner, also is wonderful. Good luck! Pru

Author's Response: Thanks for your encouragement. Funny is fine. And thanks to lucid for the banner again. Its nice to know someone got it.

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