Reading Reviews for Love before Death.
  
849 Reviews Found

Review #26, by kanakmp News and New Friends.

4th March 2009:
ok over kill with malfoy crying and hugs and snape being friendly, the dursleys being nice was fine since they knew they would die with out him

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. The Dursley's, Malfoy and Snape were experiments with this story. I was testing their characters differently and discovered I didn't like it. I shall not do it again in future.

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Review #27, by Derex Hogwarts In Trouble.

25th February 2009:
this is getting good!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #28, by Dave_Potter News and New Friends.

25th February 2009:
I like that Snape is not being a pain with Harry

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. I thought I'd try something new with him.

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Review #29, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Duel To Death.

18th January 2009:
"Now I am going to kill you, like I killed you father." Change the word you to your."

"He couldn't help but smile weakly, he had gave the world peace forever." Use the word given instead of gave.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. There will be minimum improvements in this story as it's the sequel that was mainly being wrote alongside the first.

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Review #30, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca The Final Battle, Early.

18th January 2009:
"Harry was sat on a Dragon waiting for his army to emerge." Replace sat with sitting.

"How you dare, the Dark Lord is angry and shall defeat you easily!"

It might be more forceful if you say, "How dare you,"

"Once Harry was stood next to Ron and in front of the two Death-Eaters, they lowered their hoods and took off their masks." Use "standing" instead of "stood".

"Why is it, that everyone think they can defeat me?" Use the word thinks instead of think, it is plural because of the word everyone.

"Unfortunately, Ron wasn't quick enough and had been hit with on." Did you mean to say, "hit head on with them."

"He needed his wand, he couldn't help but beg himself for his wand." Maybe you meant to say, "couldn't help himself, but beg for his wand."

"All the people he head killed with a single spell, with an illegal spell." Not head but had.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. There will be minimum improvements in this story as it's the sequel that was mainly being wrote alongside the first.

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Review #31, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Hogwarts In Trouble.

18th January 2009:
"Once Voldemort has gone, those who have no home or what an improved home, shall be given one." should say, "or want an improved home."

I didn't find many mistakes in this one. You did good. I just now going to read about the battle.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. There will be minimum improvements in this story as it's the sequel that was mainly being wrote alongside the first.

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Review #32, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Revenge of Sirius Black.

18th January 2009:
"Harry, we aren't nearly powerful enough to perform and Unforgivable Curse." Instead of "and" use "an".

"You concentrate on them to feelings and sat the words, Crucio." should say, "concentrate on the feelings and say the words,"

"Harry noticed Ron gulp and the at the next frog." should say, "gulp looking at the next frog."

"I have something here, that may let you rest at the though of your parents being avenged." should say something like, "rest at the thought of your parents being avenged."

"I wanted you to know that your parents had been revenged." maybe it should say, "have been avenged."

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. There will be minimum improvements in this story as it's the sequel that was mainly being wrote alongside the first.

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Review #33, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Unexpected Death.

18th January 2009:
"It took a week for Harry to finally transform completely, though couldn't hold it." Add the pronoun he, "though he couldn't hold it."

"However when Harry neither withdrew his wand or say anything, they calmed slightly." Use the word said instead of say.

"We will win this battle, whether your alive at the end is another matter." Use the contraction "you're" instead of 'your'.

This is a fun story to read.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. There will be minimum improvements in this story as it's the sequel that was mainly being wrote alongside the first.

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Review #34, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca The New Minister.

18th January 2009:
"He is suppose to of disagreed with Fudge and went to join Dumbledore, before Fudge sent him to Azkaban." should say, "supposed to have disagreed"

"The Minister is waiting for you. If you will step into the life to my left, you shall be taken to his office." should say, "step into the lift to my left"

"When the six teenagers got further into the office, they noticed a old man sat in the chair behind the desk." should say, "noticed an old man" and also, "sitting in the chair"

"If we was to be attacked, we would not live." should say, "If we were to be attacked"

"If you and your army was to join, we would have enough people to defeat he-who-must-not-be-named and his followers." should say, "your army were to join"

"Why be allow the abandonment carry on though the family?" Leave out the word "be".

"The flames slowly burnt the wooden seat he was sat in." Use the word "sitting" instead of "sat".

"He allowed Hermione to climb on the back and wrap her arms around his waist, before kicking off the floor and entering the sky." Use the word ground when referring to something outside.

A seventh year. Yes if there is lots of action and Harry has learned more about his extra powers.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. There will be minimum improvements in this story as it's the sequel that was mainly being wrote alongside the first.

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Review #35, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Shopping and The Set Date.

18th January 2009:
"Ok, but us boys aren't going with you lot." should say, "with your lot" I think this is what you are trying to say. Or is it "but us boys aren't going with you love."

"Yeah, well it was all for the women of my life." whispered Harry happily. should say, "woman of my life."

"Why are you all sat around?" should say, "you all sitting around."

"We thought you was going to go to Gringott's or something." should say, "you were going to go"

"They looked around for a while at the broomsticks and gear. Harry and Ron already had a broomstick, so they wasn't bothered with them." should say, "so they weren't bothered"


"Harry entered the shop and walked to the counter, where a small witch was sat." should say, "where a small witch was sitting."

"Harry smiled at the witch and was about the shrink it before she spoke again." should say, "was about to shrink it"

"Just get it and as Harry said he want you to have what you want." should say, "said he wants you to have what you want."

That is enough." said Hermione indicating to the large amount of books and an armful of clothes. should say, "indicating the large amount of"

"He blew up part of the Forbidden Forest, when you got ... took." replied Luna slowly. should say, "got...taken."

"It will be tiring to get to bed." should say, "tiring so get to bed."

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

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Review #36, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca The Big Rescue.

18th January 2009:
"Harry had gotten Ron and Luna the chance to go in a work with them as well, as they wanted to work with animals." should say, "to go in and work with them"

"I know that he will be angry that he will of lost followers, I'm saw he will set a battle." replied Harry honestly. should say, "he will be angry that he lost followers," and perhaps say, "I'm saying he will declare war."

"It was noon before there was any sign action at headquarters." should say, "was any sign of action"

"From where they was standing they were in the garden of the Riddle House." should say, "where they were standing"

"Harry could hear a man voice saying one word, which followed by screams of pain." should say, hear a man's voice"


"Harry placed his arms under Hermione body and pulled her towards him." should say, "arms under Hermione's body"

"He was about the apparate when he heard a huge crash and a loud bang." should say, "about to apparate when"

"He was still sat down with Hermione on his lap." should say, "still sitting down"

"He noticed his followers were stood around gasping for breath." should say, "were standing around"

"No one would be able to lay a finger on her, if they was to do anything sexual." should say, "if they were to do"

I hope you don't mind me making all these grammatical corrections. Just email me if you don't like it.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

The thing with pointing them out, is that I know about them already. I would have deleted this set of stories a long time ago, but I keep it up as a reminder of how I once wrote.


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Review #37, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Trolls, Elves, Giants, Goblins and Dragons.

18th January 2009:
"Harry, me and Ginny will help here at the headquarters." should say, "Harry, Ginny and I"

"I will be conquer him, whether I live or not." said Harry ambitiously. should say, "I will conquer him"

"I am King of all Magical Creatures and I can control a person, however do not know how to." explained Harry looking into Neville's eyes. should say, "however I do not know how"

"They willingly entered to fenced off area and begun to make themselves at home." should say, "willingly entered the fenced off"

"However you all have a bedroom and will be paid for you work." should say, "will be paid for your work"

"It was quite difficult to teach them, as they constantly swore when they wasn't successful." should say, "swore when they weren't successful."

"They all knew that it wouldn't be easy to get the Giants without the help of their master, thought they still went along." should say, "though they still went along."

"Take the dead to a respectable spoke and bury them." should say, "a respectable spot and bury them."

"In the meanwhile I want you all the reflect on going against an order." instructed Harry firmly. should say, "you all to reflect on going against"

"Harry opened the door to find, to face Polleo." should say, "to find himself facing Polleo"

"We cannot stop you, but e know you can look after yourself." should say, "but we know you can"

"They all knew that this was enraged." should say, "that this one was enraged."

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

It's also worth noting that say for example in the first thing you said, that was dialogue. Grammar is not important in dialogue due to it being how the character talks.


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Review #38, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Recruiting.

18th January 2009:
"Harry, Harry. Oh my god it's him. Please Harry talk to me." came to voice of the old Dumbledore. should say, "came the voice"

"If I must, I will come to collect to Dragons." should say, "come to collect the Dragons."

"They was discussing plans on how things shall be run." should say, "They were discussing"

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

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Review #39, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Dumbledore's Neglect.

18th January 2009:
"They wasn't going to go looking for her." should say, "They weren't going"

"They wasn't going to get her back." should say, "They weren't going to get her back."

"Afraid you won't be able to use me as you weapon? I shall be gone by tomorrow!" said Harry aggressively." should say, "use me as your weapon?"

"It is a large Forest and will also need you skills in recruiting the herds of Centaurs there." should say, "will also need your skills"

"Immediately fifty Centaurs disappeared into thin air without another sigh of them." should say, "without another sign"

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

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Review #40, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Kidnapped.

18th January 2009:
"They wasn't sure how they were supposed to kidnap the most precious thing in their worst enemies life." should say, "They weren't sure"

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

For errors like that, most of them are due to having all the ideas etc in my head, but writing too quickly. Something I've learnt and sorted out in future stories.


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Review #41, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Hallowe'en Ball.

18th January 2009:
"Enervate." said Harry pointing his wand at Hermione, who immediately awoken. should say, "immediately awoke."

"I got it you for your beautiful neck". An extra you in the sentence.

"Hermione held tight to Harry, she never liked or trusted to Forbidden Forest," should say, "trusted the Forbidden Forest"

"Soon enough around fifty horses, or was they?" should say, "or were they"

"This herd however are my bloods guards of this forest." should say, "my blood guards"

"You may do your usual duties and do know worry about any of these." should say,"do not worry"

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

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Review #42, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Dumbledore's Treat.

18th January 2009:
Harry and Ron were sat in their common room and were sat discussing their girlfriends. This sentence is a little awkward. May I rephrase it for you. While sitting in their common Harry and Ron discussed their girlfriends.

you will of achieved more than anyone has ever done, put together." reassured Ron with a smile. should say "you will have achieved more than anyone has ever done, put together."

It was strapless and was zip up at the back. should say "was zipped up the back."

Harry had made one of the shopkeepers make sure the girls were out of the way whilst they bought to stuff. should say, "they bought the stuff."

Continue to write good stories.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. As I said in reply to the first review, this was a first and typing errors/grammar was terrible back then.

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Review #43, by thegeneralofmusic@yahoo.ca Private Lesson.

18th January 2009:
"Quite please. I think paragraph 35. Should be quiet please. I usually don't reply after each chapter. But I really enjoy this story.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and it's great to see such feedback as the reviews I'll reply to.

However, keep in mine that this was my first ever story. I had no skill in writing, but raw imagination. If you go onto say Rise of The New Lords, you'll see the drastic improvement in writing.

However, do not read all New Lords, just a random chapter. It's best read from the beginning of that series.


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Review #44, by bugz34 The New Minister.

6th November 2008:
Yes you should go on and continue with year 7..

Author's Response: It has been wrote :P

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Review #45, by bugz34 News and New Friends.

5th November 2008:
I like the direction your story going keep it up..

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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Review #46, by Afiya O.W.L's.

10th October 2008:
I LOVE this story! Harry/Hermione is weird and would NEVER happen, but still, this is a great story!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading but try not to be so opinionated.

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Review #47, by Annie Powers and Shocks.

10th October 2008:
Great chappie. I'm not a big Harry/Hermione fan, but if it's anything Harry Potter, i'll read it.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked. This story was poorly wrote but I feel it had some good ideas involved.

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Review #48, by Malfoie Awards and Honours.

6th June 2008:
Wow I know most people don't like to write a sequel to a story that has finished the fight cuz their would not be much violence and they have to make a new villain but please think about it okay?

Author's Response: I have wrote a sequel.

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Review #49, by Malfoie Dumbledore's Neglect.

6th June 2008:
Just wondering because i have to leave for a few day's with out my computer are the hunter's going to be in this story as well?

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. This story is of no relation to the others and this is my first and is extremely poorly made. So no, they aren't.

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Review #50, by Malfoie Kidnapped.

6th June 2008:
NO.LOL What can happen next lets find out. Great work as usual keep it up.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading.

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