Reading Reviews for Dark Mirror
  
129 Reviews Found

Review #26, by CambAngst Gryffin Castle

30th July 2012:
Ugh! Sometimes I can't help but get frustrated with Godric. He's such a meat-head. Surrounded by friendly kinsfolk and he still can't help but insult them the moment he gets free of the mirror. I guess that's what being the alpha-male is all about.

OK, I'll admit it right up front: I was a little disappointed that you didn't make it more difficult and complicated for Degeus and Hermione to find one another. Or at least more time-consuming. Perhaps confrontational. I was prepared and even rather excited for Hermione to have some sort of adventure in the course of finding her way to Gryffin Castle. Perhaps even deal with another of Salazar's assassins. I feel like you skipped over something fairly significant there, since you created so much tension around it at the end of the last chapter. In fact, I should probably go back and make sure that you didn't rewrite the end, because I know you were planning to edit it. Don't go anywhere for a sec, OK? ... Alright, I'm back. So my suggestion remains. I think there was a real opportunity to give Hermione another great moment. At any rate, enough about that.

I'm glad that besides being hopelessly in love with Godric, or perhaps because she's hopelessly in love with him, she's finally decided that she needs to know everything about him, including why he's trapped in the dark glass and why he has this self-loathing streak. Overall, this was a good chapter for her emotionally. She figured some things out, she seems to be getting better centered and more of that strong determination was coming through.

I liked you brief rumination on alpha males and what makes them tick. Every time you delve into Hermione's mind like that, it adds to the depth of her character. The same goes for Godric.

Your description of the castle through Hermione's eyes was breath-taking and also says something about her. The particular details she focuses on and the things that seem important to her. All of them continue to build and round out her character.

Then she releases Godric from the mirror and he goes full-on alpha-meathead. I completely get his need to be alone with her, but he over-does it by a mile. He's sort of comical that way.

It seems that Drustan has picked up on his tattoos. You made reference to them a few chapters ago. He seems to be gearing up for something big and not entirely wholesome. Hopefully Hermione can make him see reason before he makes a bad situation worse.

Overall, a pretty good outing. I just would have loved to see you make something great out of the time that Hermione and Dageus spend searching for one another. That's all. Still enjoying the story very much and kind of bummed that we're getting near the end.

Author's Response: I must admit that you make a great suggestion about the beginning of the chapter. Even after I finished writing this chapter and posting I felt that something was missing but I guess after looking at this story for so long I just couldn't see what it was.
I will be sure to keep them in mind, when my beta and I go back over this chapter. I will be sure to let you know if I change anything big so that you can go back and read it.
Thank you for faithfully sticking with this story and for all the wonderful insight you have brought to it.


 Report Review

Review #27, by CambAngst Taken

24th July 2012:
Hello, again! You are getting these chapters posted at a blistering pace lately! It's so much fun, being along for the ride.

Poor Hermione. Such a horrible feeling to suddenly find yourself all alone in a strange place with everything familiar and necessary torn away. At least she still has her wand.

I absolutely loved this line: "Don't answer that," she snapped at herself hastily. "That was a purely rhetorical question, not a show me proof one."

You sort of left us hanging as she enters the diner. Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that the waitress is going to give her the keys to Dageus's car and the two of them are going to miss each other in passing?

The conversation between Dageus and Godric was very different than their first. If there was one thing about this chapter that seemed a bit... abrupt, it was the way that their conversation suddenly became rather familiar, almost collegial, compared to the way that Godric completely blows Dageus off in the village. Granted, Godric is in a significantly disadvantaged position at this point, but Dageus isn't and he also seems to almost obey Godric instinctively. I guess I would have expected him to feel more put out and take longer to warm up.

Anyway, the dialog between the two of them was humorously practical in nature. It isn't often that you'll have a conversation with a thousand-year-old man in an enchanted mirror about something as pedestrian as the sun.

Drustan seems like an amiable fellow. It's interesting that he's married to a muggle, or perhaps a witch who simply took a liking to the natural sciences. If Hermione could decide to abandon magic and become an archaeologist, anything is possible.

Your writing was terrific in this chapter. I couldn't find a thing wrong with it.

You've mentioned in a few responses that the story is coming to an end soon. I'm very curious to see how you tie it all up!

Author's Response: I didn't realize how different the conversation between the two of them was so different. Thank you for pointing that out, I will have to go back and double check that section. I can't tell you anything about what is going to happen when she enters the diner, if I did that would take all the fun out of it. The next chapter should be going into the queue sometime today or tomorrow, so should be viewable within a week at most.
Drustan's wife is a squib, who decided to study physics when she couldnt do magic, I guess I need to go back and explain that better.
Dageus wife Jenna is a muggleborn witch, I need to go back and make sure that was illustrated correctly. Thank you so much for your insight.


 Report Review

Review #28, by Lillylover22 Stranger or Kin

20th July 2012:
Godric found family!! 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Thank you for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy my story.

 Report Review

Review #29, by Lillylover22 cave

20th July 2012:
I am so sorry that i haven't read this story in awhile. This was great. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: That's fine, you are back now. Thank you for the review and i hope you continue to enjoy the story.

 Report Review

Review #30, by Hope's Mom Taken

19th July 2012:
That will be one fascinating conversation between Drustan and Godric- I hope we get to read it! Dageus shouldn't have too hard of a time finding Hermione if she stays in the cafe. If Harry gets there first it will be more of a challenge. Harry might well enjoy meeting Dageus and Drustan. Thanks for the new chapter!

Author's Response: The next chapter is already written and ready to go into the queue, so at least you wont have to wait long to find out what happens. I have had a lot of fun coming up with this story and it is nice to know so many others have enjoyed this story just as much. Thank you for the review.

 Report Review

Review #31, by Hope's Mom family drama

19th July 2012:
Interesting - Dageus took their car and the mirror. That means that when Godric is called back into the mirror, Hermione will be left behind. This will certainly lengthen the amount of time it will take them to get to Hogwarts. Maybe, however, there are things at the Dageus' castle that Godric will be able to use (maybe even Dageus and his brother) in his fight with Salazar. Thanks for the new chapter!

Author's Response: All good ideas and wonderful deductions. Unfortunately I can not confirm those insights because I wouldn't want to give anything away too early.
I am glad to see how much you are getting into the story. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


 Report Review

Review #32, by CambAngst family drama

18th July 2012:
Hello, again! I'm tearing it up this morning for the reviewing challenge in the House Cup and I was ecstatic to see that a new chapter of Dark Mirror was up, because, hey, it's something I would have read and reviewed anyway!

I like that you've kept up with the brutal sort of "social triage" that Godric began in the last chapter with Hermione. You're portrayed him as an avid student of the modern era. In spite of the obvious alpha male conflict between himself and Dageus, I'm sure that he was deeply curious as to how his kin are fairing in the present day. He simply lacks the time to thoroughly investigate matters. "...not the time for new beginnings, as he later says."

I have to say that you threw me for a loop with some of Dageus's inner monologue. The part about it being obvious that he was descended from Godric I can easily get my head around. Although the exact thought process that made him so certain that the mysterious man he encounters was actually the legendary, ninth-century founder of Hogwarts could have been fleshed out a bit better. When you started tossing around dark wizard souls and faerie queens, that was when things got weird for me.

Please don't take this to mean that I can't get my head around these things. I'm sure I can, given time. It's just that you introduced it all very abruptly, without even prefacing it with much detail on who Dageus is and what sort of life he lives. All in all, my preference would have been to introduce some of these concepts more gradually.

So the dark glass is more than just a prison for Godric? Now that part I can get my head around, and it's very interesting. Almost as interesting as what Hermione is going to find when she makes her way to Gryffin Castle. If she makes her way to Gryffin Castle. With Salazar's minions still pursuing her and without Godric's protection, things have just become a lot harder for her.

And through it all, the love story rolls on! Although it's most like a lust story at times. ;) Even under the most trying circumstances, she can't help but be hurt when he intimates that they don't have a future together. Then she nearly dances with joy when he makes a pointed exception just for her. I have no idea where you're taking these two in the long run. Before meeting his descendants, I didn't think there was much of a chance of Godric fitting into modern life. Now, I'm not so sure. Either way, I hope that Hermione and Godric have more "moments" coming up before this story is all said and done.

I love how he simply melts her with looks and short sentences. She's even imagining their children already! So is so smitten, yet he still finds her difficult to approach, in a way. They're such a good couple!

I couldn't find a thing wrong with this chapter in terms of typos or spelling or grammatical problems. I thought it all flowed really nicely, and it was easy to follow even though I'm reading it in a hurry! Love the story, can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I look forward to your insight every time I post a new chapter. Just so you know the next chapter is currently in the queue and should be up within the next day or so. Thanks for pointing out that bit about Dageus. I had so many ideas running through my mind when I was writing that chapter that I will admit I got a bit ahead of myself. I have already gone back and fixed the problem and the edited version should be available soon. With only a few more chapters to go before the story is at an end I have been trying to put more information about the mirror and how Godric was trapped into the story line. I am always worried that I am not putting enough information to keep the reader informed, but at the same time I am worried that I might be giving too much away too early. I am glad that you think that everything is flowing well and that the pace is going good.

 Report Review

Review #33, by CambAngst Stranger or Kin

9th July 2012:
Hey, Ash! Goodness, I've been trying to get to this all day. Between work and trying to read and review some of the entries for the House Cup task, I'm only now getting here. But I'm very excited for this chapter.

So some big-picture thoughts: I really, really liked the conflicts between Hermione's desires and Godric's sense of responsibility that you set up. After he's spent so much time seducing and tantalizing her, it was a pretty dramatic shift and it brought out a whole new side of both characters, I thought.

"The man had, quite simply, the most amazing _ she'd ever seen..." - Wow. You have a knack for leaving me speechless, you know that? "I'll take 'Lines I Never Thought I'd Read in a Hermione-Centric Fan Fic' for $1,000, Alex."

Godric's thought process was, at once, so rational yet so primal. He knows himself so well, and he's fully aware of his own weaknesses. He can't trust himself to touch her. The way you wrote it was terrific. Every word was perfectly in tune to his personality.

The mystery man in the diner was a very intriguing addition to the story. It's too early to know quite how he fits, but it's fascinating to see someone who might be something approaching an equal to Godric, even possibly a descendant. The description you give us certainly suggests that possibility very strongly. The way that they butt heads speaks of their similarities. They both seem to be intense alpha males, unwilling to cede an inch.

We're so close to a situation where Hermione will return to a world that we're more familiar with. I know that it hasn't been your general approach to the story, but I do hope we get to see these characters immersed in that world for at least a short time. The squealing fangirl in me would love to see Godric and Salazar do battle in the bowels of the school that they jointly founded. I get a perverse, little giggle out of the idea of Salazar luring Godric into the dungeons and delivering a line like, "I have you now, Gryffindor! Prepare to face to fury of my most evil creation. Release the Basilisk... Um, hello? Basilisk, where are you?"

Author's Response: I always look forward to your reviews. You always put a smile on my face and point out the items that really need to be looked at.
I am glad that you liked the idea of the mysterious stranger. I battled with myself a lot about whether or not to add him in or not, but in the end the idea just wouldn't go away.
I love writing Godric's character, he knows himself in and out and accepts all his flaws. The more time out of the mirror, the more that we truly get to see him for the way he truly is.
I do like to add in a few surprises when it comes to Hermione's character. I think adding those few touches while they aren't exactly cannon bring a little something more to the story.
Considering the fact that I am making this story up as I go, and I am not exactly sure how it is going to end just yet..I think your idea of battling in the dungeons to be quite funny and I may have to keep it in mind. There are only a few more chapters to go before the end.. Less than 10, so things will be moving pretty quickly within the next few chapters. Thank you again for the review.


 Report Review

Review #34, by gray Stranger or Kin

8th July 2012:
Love it. More please!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I am hoping to get chapter 17 into the queue sometime tonight or tomorrow morning at the latest.

 Report Review

Review #35, by Hope's Mom Stranger or Kin

8th July 2012:
He meets some great, great... nephew in a cafe - how funny! Their interruptions of Hermione as she attempted to point out their resemblance was amusing. I don't blame her for getting up and leaving the table. Being ignored (even with good intentions) stinks. Great update - thank you!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Chapter 17 should be going into the queue tomorrow, so at least my readers wont have to wait too long to find out what happens with the newest twist in the plot.

 Report Review

Review #36, by CambAngst cave

6th July 2012:
Hello, again! I've been looking forward to this for a while!

This chapter has that unmistakable feel of two mismatched lovers being inevitably drawn to one another. There should be classical music softly playing in the background. It was lovely and romantic.

Hermione's realizations about Godric's centuries imprisoned in the mirror and his reactions to them were really touching. The way that he had counted every stone that made up his prison was an amazing detail. It's understandable why she wouldn't think that such a proud man would want her pity, but the fact that he accepts her sympathy more or less graciously speaks volumes about the relationship that the two characters have developed. I loved the way that she wept for him and the moment where their hands touch on the two sides of the glass was perfect.

Switching to his point of view, I absolutely loved the backdrop you set for the scene. Your descriptions of the Scottish highlands were magnificent. The idea of the two of them holed up in a cave wasn't classically romantic, but it works so well for the two of them. Their conversation really draws out the similarities that they share, in spite of the centuries that separate them. She is so old-fashioned in her peculiar way, while he is a good deal more attuned to the modern world than I would have believed.

After she falls asleep was probably my favorite part of the chapter. First off, for the mystery of it. Clearly he feels that he deserves his imprisonment in some ways. Salazar was able to trick him, but it was his own arrogance and desire for power that made it possible. I can't wait to find out more about how it happened. Second, the humor value of the enormous, naked Scot watching over Hermione from inside the mirror is amazing. The next day will start off on a very interesting note for her!

I really can't think of anything to suggest, nor could I find any typos. This chapter was marvelous. Well worth the wait!

Author's Response: I am so glad that you enjoyed this chapter. I know it took a long time to write compared to how quickly the other chapters came out, but I was happy with the way it came out.
I really thought it was about time the two of them had some intimate one on one time without anyone interrupting. I really felt that adding those details about his prison would help the readers to understand more about his character. With each new chapter more about why and how he ended up in the mirror will be revealed. I am always worried that I am not revealing things quickly enough but at the same time I don't want to give away too much too soon.
Chapter 16 is already written and waiting for the queue to open, so at least your wait this time wont be for so long.
Thank you again for the review, I always look forward to your insights.


 Report Review

Review #37, by Hope's Mom cave

3rd July 2012:
The moral of Godric's tale about how he was enticed to enter the mirror is (I believe) always listen to your mother! If only my kids would... Anyway, I thought this chapter was rather sweet. Godric and Hermione got to know each other better and in a different way. I really like your story and have enjoyed what you have written so far. Thank you for the update,

Author's Response: As a mother I just had to add that little listen to your mother lesson. :) I am so glad that you enjoyed this chapter. I really liked writing the scene with the two of them connecting on a deeper level it makes them even more connected. Thank you for the review.

 Report Review

Review #38, by slytherin_badgirlxx Warehouse fun

26th June 2012:
I really love this story and would be MEGA pleased if you updated and finished the story:) I don't normally like founder stories, but this is really amazing, keep up the awesome work! xx

Author's Response: I am go glad that you are enjoying this story. I hope to have a new chapter up before the queue closes for a week. Especially since I have finally finished my Nano Project, this story has my complete attention.

 Report Review

Review #39, by slytherin_badgirlxx Warehouse fun

15th June 2012:
I absolutely love this story! can you please post more chapters, and i would be devastated if you abandoned this:( keep up the fabulous work:)xxx

Author's Response: No worries, I have no plans to abandon this story. I just have been distracted the past few days due to Nano. A new chapter should be coming before the end of the month.
Thank you for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy.


 Report Review

Review #40, by MugglePower Warehouse fun

5th June 2012:
omg i love your story please keep the chapters coming
ahhh its so exciting
grace

Author's Response: I am so glad that you are enjoying my story. Hope to have new chapters up as soon as possible.

 Report Review

Review #41, by Hope's Mom Warehouse fun

27th May 2012:
I love the chapter summary "found the crate" as if it was just a crate! Of course he can get them out of the warehouse - he's Godric Gryffindor, awesome wizard and a heck of a man! Hermione is usually such a know it all it is rather a change to have her so confused about her own (instinctual) behavior. Great new chapter - thank you!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review.

 Report Review

Review #42, by Lillylover22 Warehouse fun

26th May 2012:
LOVED IT!!! Please update soon. This story is amazing. You write so well. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: I hope to do so soon. Thank you for the continued support.

 Report Review

Review #43, by CambAngst Warehouse fun

26th May 2012:
Yay! I think I'll get the first review for a change!

What a reunion! Godric sure knows how to make her regret the time they spent apart.

From the start, I enjoyed the parallel anxieties you cast for the two of them. The way you're bringing them together is terrific. You manage to make them seem to have so much in common in certain ways, even though they clearly have so many differences.

"It was, she realized, how women throughout all history must have felt each time their men returned from battle on their own two feet, not bound over the back of a horse, or piled, dozen deep, atop a wagon." - This line was tremendous! Aside from the very serious images it engenders, I also can't help but think of the Dead Collector in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It works on many levels. ;)

Another very hot scene between the two of them, but once again interrupted. This is getting to be a habit. I'm starting to hope that they don't make it all the way for the first time at Hogwarts, because I'm not sure that they won't knock the castle down.

But you work so much humor into this, as well, which I loved. The way that Godric enjoys the indignities that Hermione inflicted on Stone Face. He's such a likable character, in addition to being powerful and complex. Seems like the sort of guy you could hang out with.

And the ending makes me wonder who might be accompanying Stone Face. I have small pangs of anxiety about that...

So I noticed one typo, but aside from that, your writing was terrific:

-- "he couldnít help but play out the terrible possibilities of what could happen to her unprotected began to play out in his mind. " - I think you need to fix either the start or the end of this clause.

Bravo! A short chapter, but a very enjoyable one. Hope you have more in the works soon!

Author's Response: The next chapter is already in the works so no worries, it shall be up soon. Thank you for pointing out the typo I shall go fix that as soon as I get the chance.
I have really enjoyed creating Godric. He is becoming such an individual. I am also glad that you liked the way I showed how their time apart affected the two of them. I felt that it was needed to show how deep their feelings are starting to become towards each other.
Thank you again for the wonderful review.


 Report Review

Review #44, by Hope's Mom Claims trouble

26th May 2012:
I just discovered your story yesterday and your story line really intrigues me. The idea of Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin being alive and in the 21st century is really facinating! I look forward to reading more - good work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the response. I am glad that you are enjoying the story and I hope you continue reading.

 Report Review

Review #45, by Lillylover22 Claims trouble

18th May 2012:
Please update soon 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Chapter 14 is already written and waiting to go into the queue as soon as chapter 2 of my other story comes out. So be on the look out. Thank you for all the reviews.

 Report Review

Review #46, by Lillylover22 Food for thought

18th May 2012:
Hermione likes godric. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Yes she does, now it will be even more fun to see what happens between the two of them.

 Report Review

Review #47, by Lillylover22 Plans made

18th May 2012:
This was great. 9/10 : )

Author's Response: Thank you for the review.

 Report Review

Review #48, by Lillylover22 Room service

18th May 2012:
Don't open it hermione 9/10 : )

Author's Response: It wouldn't be that much fun if she didn't open the door.

 Report Review

Review #49, by Lillylover22 Seductions

18th May 2012:
This story is Amazing 10/10 : )

Author's Response: I am glad that you like it. I hope you continue reading.

 Report Review

Review #50, by Lillylover22 Hotel messages

18th May 2012:
That voice was scary 9/10 : )

Author's Response: thank you for the review.

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>