Reading Reviews for The Lost Wolf
90 Reviews Found

Review #26, by my_voice_rising A Wolf at the Door

26th November 2014:
Hi! Here with your requested review.

You have a strong opening to the story! You asked me to keep an eye out for over-embellishment, and the scene is vivid but leaves enough to the imagination. But I wonder how it would be if you wrote it in the voice and vocabulary of a four year-old. You mention that she's very smart, but words like 'illuminate' and 'accusation' are out of place here. I'd love to read the opening scene more through the eyes of four year-old Cassandra.

??? How has Cassandra been fighting since she was fifteen? Did she lie about her age? Also it's extremely impressive and a bit strange that she isn't afraid of bombs or tanks at all.

I don't think I've ever read an OC with an amputation before. Very original and adds a level of reality to the story. Am I wrong for hoping that magic will be able to heal her? Also an interesting parallel with the wolf that maimed her and Moony/Padfoot. I'm wondering now if it was a werewolf, but surely she would be showing signs by now...

I'd like to see some more depth to the Colonel. He's a great addition to the storyline, as she's now completely cast out and lost at sea. But what does he look like? Can we glimpse into their past together? Right now he only seems to be there to allow Cassandra some quips at his tan and to move the story along.

Ohhh, Lupin. Interesting! I wonder if it was chosen from subconscious memory or by coincidence.

This sounds like it will be a really interesting and unique story. Just remember to flesh out your characters--otherwise Cassandra seems a bit like the snarky, angsty orphan (when really her time in the military and disability set her apart) and the shouting, unnecessarily cruel adopted parent (when there could be much more to their history.)

Thanks for requesting ♥

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

First of all, I'm glad you pointed out that thing about vocabulary used in the dream at the beginning of the chapter. I never put too much thought in it, and I was wrong, so I'll read everything again and try to modify it as to make it appear as... Childlike as possible :)
Regarding Cassandra's work in the army, well... It is unusual, and the reasons why it was possible for a fifteen year old girl to join will be explained as the story goes on. And the trauma left by the two years in the battlefield isn't so insignificant as it may appear here, I promise! My OC is just too stubborn to understand she has a mental resistance that is not so different from that of any girl of her age. Her personality and physical appearance will be discussed more deeply from the next chapter anyway and I hope you'll find her more... "Round" as you continue to read.
Colonel Wilkins is... Not a good person. I am afraid he will not be treated as a main character here, but his role in this story hasn't ended yet. He will come back, just... Not now. In the later updates :)

Anyway, thank you again for leaving this nice review, and I hope you won't mind if I re-request ;)

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Review #27, by Moonyxluna A Reminder

12th October 2014:
Hi I'm (finally) here with your requested reivew!

So I'll talk a little bit about each chapters one throught three and leave you the bulk of it on chapter four.

So in chapter one right away we set up a background for Cassandra. Your writing flows beautifully through this chapter. I really got a great sense of her emotions and background story. This was an intense start and it really managed to drag me into her world. I didn't get a lot of her characterization but I think that works with what was going on in the chapter. She seems very strong willed, and sort of heavily morphed by her upbringing, so I'm wondering how that's going to come into place in the next few chapters. The memories were interesting, as well. I'm wondering what/if kind of magical background she is going to have or if it's the wolf (werewolf?) that bit her is causing it. This was a very nice setup.

I noticed one thing in chapter 1:
his time it was Cassandra's turn -- should say "this time"

Chapter two! I found a few spots in chapter two that could use a re-wording. (missed instead of miss, very minor phrasing things.) Still, though, I am always amazed when I read such flawless writing as this and remember that you said your native language isn't English.
So we get introduced to a little bit of the plot setup here; Cassandra has these flashbacks and the names Lupin - which she picked - Black - the sad criminal on the news - and.. eventually Potter :p It makes me very interested to find more about what happened to her real father, and where she's going to end up lining up with the group. At seventeen it's hard very hard to get out on your own, so I'm wondering if/when things are going to line up with the rest of the Wizarding group. Also curious if she's magical!

Chapter three then we get a little bit of Sirius perspective. Your level of interpretation of canon facts with Sirius' escape is fantastic. I felt like it was something that JK had created and written herself. It really lined up beautifully and gave me as the reader a good grasp of where his mindset is, searching for Harry and searching for Cassandra. I'm sitting on the edge now, waiting to figure out who/how Cassandra is related to the bunch. I noticed you spelled Hogwarts as Hogwarst - it happened twice so I thought I'd just point it out.

Alright and at chapter four!

One small thing about formatting for this chapter - I'm not sure how but the font is smaller here than in all of the previous chapters? This, and the amount of space between the paragraphs. Everything was okay in the first three chapters so I'm not sure if those have been edited or what. When you post your chapters it helps if you use the 'Paste As Plain Text' button. You have to edit all of your italics and bolding but it's worth it to avoid the spaces and extra formatting that programs add in.

So fate has brought Sirius and Cassandra together! It was a big moment and said a lot about her strength of character that she continued to help the hurt dog even though she could feel her own wounds open back up.

I really love your characterization of Cassie. She's strong willed, and she's got too much on her plate for such a young girl. It's heartbreaking that she is so torn up about not being able to help the dog out, and that it's just because of the money and not because she doesn't want to by any means.

Padfoot!Sirius is very interesting, as well. I liked the little bit of back story we got with Remus, and the rest of the group. I'm still interested in how Cassie is actually connected to Remus. I'm almost seeing hints of her being a daughter but I guess I'll have to wait and see!

In your request you mentioned descriptions. I think your writing so far has created a great story; one that I am definitely looking forward to reading more of. You have a wonderful set up of the plot, and your descriptions definitely enhance, and don't take away from, that story.

There were only very minor things I noticed reading, editing wise. I pointed some of them out, but most of it is a missing punctuation there, and a misused word here. There was nothing consistently incorrect, which made the flow of reading work very well.

I'm very interested in reading more of this! Feel free to re-request for the next chapters! I'd love to see Padfoot's reaction when he realizes who the girl helping him actually is!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for this incredibly detailed and extremely useful review! When I started writing this story I had spent more than a year without speaking or listening to anything in English. I had read a couple of fics, but my English was certainly not so well trained, so I made a huge amount of little but really irritating mistakes. I am grateful for the ones you pointed out, and I'll make sure I'll correct them when I'll finally put the word "end" to this story and start the editing process ("Hogwarts" is my personal damnation. I don't know why I spell it Hogwarst sometimes... It has to do with the fact of being Italian, I guess. We also say Dekstop instead of Desktop. We are awful.).

Regarding the formatting, as you noticed I solved the issue in the first chapters, and you'll see that even the last ones are ok. I will proceed and re-format the few I have left as soon as I can :).

I am so glad you like Cassandra and her character, as well as the other ones. I want to make her as realistic as possible, being this a fantasy story, and I suppose her being a round character will emerge even more in the next updates. Also, I am happy my descriptions entertained you and did not bore you to death! I tend to be a bit obsessive in this aspect, because I want the reader to "see" what happens in the story, as if it was a film.

Thank you again for the review! I will certainly re-request!

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Review #28, by lindslo2012 A Wolf at the Door

9th October 2014:
Hey there,
Here for your requested review! And might I say, how different but an AWESOME story you have going here.
I was sad for the little girl in the beginning and I couldn't believe what happened to her :( I wish her daddy didn't die. But unfortunately alot of people died in the war. I am quite excited to read more because I want to know more about this girl. I wonder who she really is and where she came from. From what I gather, it looks as though her father was a wizard. I bet she is a witch and will eventually go to Hogwarts, I need to read more to find out! :D So please,re-request! :) You are good at description I felt as though I was in the scene with the girl.
I enjoyed this chapter very much! Well done!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! I am so glad you liked the story so far, I know it is a bit different to the usual works published here, but this is the good thing of the fan fiction world, isn't it ;) ?

I am so happy you liked my description and Cassandra's character so far! As I mentioned in the chapter she is 17, so even if she was a witch, she would be too old to join Hogwarts. This is only a small explanation, the rest will be all explained later in the story!

Thank you again, and I'll certainly re-request!


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Review #29, by Chazzie Optimistic

7th September 2014:
Poor Cassie! Gosh, she's really going through a wringer at the moment. The flashback had me shivering for her. I love that Neffie is so accepting of her, I truly adore that. You said this is a Remus/Tonks universe, which could be interesting. Your old best friend dating your dad. Hmm. I wonder how Cassie will accept that. Personally I was hoping for a Cassie/Neffie world... But that's just me, because I want Cassie to feel loved. And I'm horribly selfish. So I apologise. I honestly can't wait to see what happens next. You come up with so many brilliant ideas, it is amazing to read.
It's really interesting the stance that Minerva has about Dumbledore. Almost as if she has always not quite trusted him.
PS. I'm glad you are back!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your review!

I have to say, when I first read your comment about an eventual Cassie/Neffie I was a bit surprised, because I had never really thought about that possibility. It would be actually a great idea and a great plot twist, and I considered it for a while, since I have been thinking about writing a F/F or M/M for quite some time now. However, after an entire day of internal monologues and debates, I came to the conclusion that Cassandra won't be part of a romantic homosexual relationship. Actually, I am starting to have my doubts regarding she being in a romantic relationship at all, due precisely to her contorted, tragic past. As you said, she has a desperate need for love, that is true, but not the boyfriend/girlfriend or girlfriend/girlfriend kind of love, not now at least. In fact, although her mind is wonderfully powerful and her external behaviour is the one of an adult, her sentimental dimension is still that of a child more than that of a teenager. She wants to love and be loved, but as a friend and as a daughter, not even considering other dimensions. I will thus focus on her development in her approach to her own relatives and friends, leaving romance behind for now. I don't exclude the possibility of including homosexual pairings in the future, though, since I truly believe they would add realism to my story :).

Regarding Dumbledore... Although I like reading bashing stories, I don't like writing them, and honestly the Headmaster is one of the good guys here! He is just manipulative as usual, and prefers to think about the "greater good" rather than the single person's situation. Remus and Minerva have to behave as his "enemies" for once, trying to bypass his control to get to the full truth, but this antagonism won't last forever.

Anyway, sorry for the long response and really, really thank you for your kind words! I will have to go on a tiny hiatus for the next two weeks, but I have a chapter halfway finished for both of my stories, and I will certainly update before the end of September :).


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Review #30, by Rumpelstiltskin Go to Sleep

3rd September 2014:
Okay, I'm here! Sorry about the delay...I needed to get back to this story anyway.

I love this chapter ^.^. Okay, so one of the elements that really stuck out to me was the way that Sirius' thoughts run the narration in the first section, Minerva's in the second, and Remus' at the end. This narrative style is something that really appeals to me, as it allows for a wider range of character and plot exploration -- so that the readers can see all sides of the story rather than just one (which does have its benefits, but I find this more fun, especially for this story).

I love Sirius' frantic thoughts of 'is this Cassie?', 'no, this can't be Cassie', 'why not?', 'It IS Cassie!' :D. It's sad to think about Sirius not being able to reveal himself to her, because, as he said, even if she does remember him, she'll think (like the rest of the world) that he's a murderer. For now, he'll just have to settle with keeping her company as "Doggie" ;). At least he's making her laugh -- poor Cassie has gone through a lot.

Cassie's characterization is great. I really like how strong she is, despite being so broken. She's a strong person (and goodness, being able to stitch your own leg must be incredibly difficult...I don't think I could do that), and I have a feeling that's going to play into the story.

McGonagall's characterization is spot-on, and I loved every second of her.

Remus' story of why he didn't approach Cassie when he saw her was heartbreaking. While, yes, her life seemed to be looking up -- but her entire world shattered since he last saw her :(. But, he knows that, though he thinks that he's killed her.

Ah! I can't wait to see how this all plays out!

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the incredibly late response and the incredibly late return of favor...

Thank you so much for your review! I have to say I missed your comments, since you were my first reviewer ever and you managed encourage me to keep writing in a way you couldn't imagine!

I am glad you liked the shifts of POV, especially since they will be a constant in the next chapters. I found that I couldn't express the story with the depth I aimed to if I just conveyed Cassandra's and Sirius' view of the events. As it may transpire from this chapter, things are just too complicated to be seen just through a seventeen-year-old girl and a slightly unstable escaped convict. I am also incredibly happy that you like my OC: many told me she is a Mary Sue, and at the beginning I understand that she may give this idea... But she had her inner debates, and she is not perfect. This will probably become more and more evident as the story proceeds, and more difficulties arise :)!

MicGonagall is great! I love her, and I certainly want her to play a major role in this story. Remus is a tad bit darker than in the books, but I keep fooling myself that he's not OOC, probably because book Remus tended to take foolish decisions when it came to family (ehm... Tonks.ehm...). The "Restaurant misunderstanding" will cause quite the drama, I warn you!

Thank you again for the review, I really hope to hear from you soon, and congrats for the mini-Rumpel ;)!

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Review #31, by Gabriella Hunter Street Spirit

28th August 2014:

This is Gabbie from the forums here to dump this review on you and you'll have to excuse me for being so late. Can you believe that I was attacked by zombies and chased around by gnomes this week? I've been busy! Phew!

Anyhoo, on to this! I was a bit taken aback by the sudden POV change but once I realized where you were headed, I was completely on board. Its always great getting into the head of fresh characters and I really enjoyed what you've done for Sirius here. The word "brave" can have so many different meanings and I'm curious to see how you'll work that in later, though it was a bit sad to read about him being betrayed and alone all over again. The flashback that he had with Wormtail really had my mind spinning though and his thoughts about Cassie were heartbreaking and beautiful all at once. I'd like to know their relationship, though I have a little idea and I hope that you go into more hints later on--also, how did she go missing? I would really like an answer to that and Peter's such a weasel, not wanting to help, just going to add that in there. I thought it was really great how you tied in a lot of the events from the book into this chapter too, I think you blended it in really well. I would have messed up extraordinarily well by the last half of this chapter but you managed to keep her flow and pace going without any choppy sentences or awkward dialogue.

I really like the subtle difference that you've given Sirius and Dog-Sirius. I've never written from the POV from an Animagus before so I found that really fascinating and even though he's still human, the animal side of him was taking control every now and then. You did a good job there too, weighing those out and by the end, when he meets this "spirit", I was completely invested in his heartache and longing. That was written really well and I cant' wait to see what's going to happen next! How will he meet up with Cassie? How is she doing during all of this? I already know how he'll get to confront Wormtail but I can't wait to see how you'll have Sirius and Cassie meeting up and what might happen. SO, feel free to re-request!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hey there! Well, as you see I am quite late responding to your review as well, so, yeah... Let's just pretend we were both attacked by zombies and that I had to hide from the gnomes for almost a year. Yep. Let's do that.

I am really glad you liked Sirius' introduction. I know the POV change was a bit sudden, but when I approached the third chapter I understood that the plot was becoming far too complicated to be portrayed through the eyes of a single character. You'll see that, in the following updates, the POV will keep shifting with a more or less regular pattern, and that lots of different characters will enter the picture.

I am looking forward to read your reactions to the next updates, so prepare for another request! :P

Thank you so much for your review,


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Review #32, by marauderfan In Limbo

27th August 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review! Since you didn't provide any areas of concern, I'll just list general things I noticed - what I liked and what I think could be improved - and hope that's helpful ;)

In the first chapter I remember thinking that Cassandra seemed almost a bit Mary-Sue ish as she was a child prodigy/ soldier/ doctor at 17, but this chapter added a lot of depth to her character that was very welcome. In particular how insecure she is about her scars - at the heart of it she is still a seventeen year old girl, and that section there was a great reminder that despite her amazing successes in life, she's still human! I like her as a character a lot more after this chapter - she's more complex now :) The juxtaposition of her kind of broken, lost feeling with her shoddy flat and broken furniture was really nice as well.

I'm curious about all the flashbacks and how she (might?) know Remus and Sirius and James (even if she can't remember the surname Potter haha) And why she was at Hogwarts, but never went there as a student? Who attacked her? Why doesn't she remember? There's a lot of mystery in her past and it's kind of neat the way you've set it up so that it's not just a surprise to the reader, but to Cassandra herself as well as she remembers these buried memories - it's like we're learning about her past together.

I did see a few word choice errors, the most noticeable to me was the following: The doctors who cured her supposed that her organism had been put under an excessive stress -- I don't think 'organism' is the right word here, as it is just a more scientific term to refer to a living individual (whether plant/animal/protist/anything) and feels out of place. Perhaps you could just say her body?

and another place you wrote 'lied' instead of 'lay'.

But on the whole, typos aside, this is shaping up to be a really intriguing story and I love the mystery in it! I'm eager to find out what her connection is with Remus and Sirius.

Great work! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the review!

I'm glad you think Cassandra's character is developing well, I was a bit worried when you wrote me your first impressions on her! In the future chapters it will become more and more evident that her intelligence and professional skills can't do much to hide her vulnerability and flaws. Of course, her brain and experience in the military field will be of some help in the course of the story, but she won't be the classic female hero that can to everything without any kind of help. She will try to deal with her issues alone, but unlike Harry, she won't have the luck to succeed.

Oh, I'm so happy you have questions, and I think you will be surprised by the answers you will find in the next parts ;).

Wow! I really don't know how to thank you for pointing out that mistake! In Italian, we use the word "organismo" (that is the exact translation of organism) to indicate the body of a person seen as the combination of the different organs, tissues, etc. Being a medicine student I use that term quite often, so I just wrote it assuming it would be the same in English. Obviously I was wrong, and I can't help but kicking myself mentally for having fallen for that false friend. I will be more careful in the future, but, as I don't write the chapter in Italian before writing an English version, it may happen that I'll use a term in an improper way. I would be eternally grateful if you could point out the words that seem "off" to you, so that I will be able to correct them in the massive editing this story will soon endure.

Thank you again for your review, and I hope you won't mind if I re-request in a couple of days!


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Review #33, by lexiatel Jigsaw Falling Into Place

27th August 2014:
I actually remember reading this chapter, so I don't know where exactly I stopped at (because there were no chapters available at the time).

This is such a sad/happy chapter. I was in tears. Every time I think of that betrayal, I get teary... what a sad moment in the book, really..

I will try to find out where I left off at. I am thinking chapter 10 really... heh.

This story is really really good, and I love it!

It would be pretty cool if C4ssi meets Harry Potter. :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review!
I am sorry if you had read this chapter already! I checked the last chapter you had reviewed, as I thought you hadn't gone further with the reading. Next time I'll make sure to request for chapter 11 ;).

As for Harry and Cassandra meeting each other... You'll see! (can I ask you a question? Why do you write C4ssi instead od Cassie? Just curious :))

Thank you again for the review!

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Review #34, by crestwood Optimistic

25th August 2014:
You've found a way to weave so many different elements into one chapter. Your Sirius point of view was excellent. I loved his Dementor induced flashbacks and, as always, his Padfoot inner voice. McGonagall was written incredibly well too. She hasn't been super important up until this point, but in this chapter her characters gets a major upgrade in significance. I'm surprised to see Remus be so honest with Harry, but I'm glad he was. I wish this is how it would have happened in canon, he did deserve some kind of truth. It's interesting how Dumbledore is a villain of sorts in this story.

At first, I didn't understand what Kingsley had to do with the rest of the story and then I was totally shocked to see mention of Colonel Wilkins. It seems like he's done something terrible, as expected. I felt a really strong bond between Tonks and Cassie. It's so interesting that they'd have been friends when they were younger. I wonder who else you'll involve. It feels like everyone is somehow connected in this story. The layers are unraveling and every time a question is answered, another five questions give rise. How did you ever come up with this idea? I'm honestly so impressed by this story. I have no criticism to give. I have nothing but praise and wonder. I can't wait for the rest of this and I can't wait for your new story to be validated. You're such a talented writer. Thank you for your request!

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Review #35, by crestwood Atoms For Peace

25th August 2014:
I know I've said previously that you could probably turn this into original fiction if you so wished and it'd probably be a bestseller and a critical success to boot, but honestly, the beginning of this chapter didn't feel like it took place in the Harry Potter universe; but rather some beautiful, new world that you created from scratch. It felt like an entirely new series. Something so fresh that I'd buy a full novel set in that Forest right now if you offered one. I can't even explain how that just captured my imagination. I was a little upset when I read "This however, isn't the time to tell these stories," but hopefully that means that one day it will be time to tell them!

Anyway, back to this wonderful story set in the present day. You're being simply artistic with words now. The reunion between Remus and Cassie is just elegantly worded and perfect. I daresay you've gotten to be an even better writer than before. This is exactly why I listed this as one of my five favorite stories. I just haven't read anything that is remotely like this. It isn't even my normal fare. I pretty much exclusively read Next-Gen romance and this is neither, but I find myself so compelled. I just hold on to every sentence and feel the emotion behind each. I can't believe this isn't more popular. It's every reason for fan-fiction being a viable creative outlet in one story.

The conversations you write between the wolves and their humans are kind of chilling. The wolves are such brash personalities. That is still one of the best representations of lycanthropy I've ever read. I almost can't think of anyone being a werewolf in any other way now. The split personality deal just seems to make too much sense. The way you tied in Remus with the beginning portion of the chapter, referring to him as the young son of Lycao, was brilliant. I love this chapter so much. It may be my favorite so far even!

Author's Response: Can you see me blush? You probably live on the opposite side of the planet, but I think you can.

I will never be able to thank you enough for your reviews. They make me feel as if I had actually accomplished all the goals I had set for me when I first started writing Fanfiction. And it doesn't matter to me if I don't have that huge multitude of reviewers (although that would be nice :P), because as long as I receive even a single review like this, I'll be forever happy.

I could go on and on and talk forever about how simply beautiful is what you've written to me, but I would probably bore you to no end, so I will simply tell you that you made me blush, you made me happy, and that a huge part of the Italian Eastern Coast knows about this review. I may have read it to everyone...


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Review #36, by crestwood Separator part 2

25th August 2014:
Hello again!

The first section - the flashback, was really a great piece of writing. Now, on the sixteenth chapter, you'd think I'd stop being so impressed with some of the things you write, but I haven't. The description of Cassie's entrance was incredible and the way you wrote that slap almost resounded for a few seconds. The Colonel truly is a terrible, terrible man. I can't remember the last time I read a character as despicable as him. You really make him come to life.

For some reason, I laughed really hard at Harry listing Voldemort 5 times within the things that happened to him. He really does deserve a multitude of mentions. I'll be honest though, I didn't quite understand exactly what was happening throughout this chapter. As in, I'm not sure if Harry is dreaming or honestly going insane. Regardless of what plane of reality this chapter existed in, I was transfixed by a large portion of it. Harry's point of view was a lot different than I've seen him written usually, but probably more realistic actually.

Tonks' portion of the chapter was really unexpected. I never thought much about her and Sirius' relationship, but you've expounded on it quite a bit. I'm glad you've tied her into the story by having Sirius bring Cassie to Andromeda. I can't wait to see what their interactions will be like once she wakes up. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Oh, dear. You can't actually know how much I love your reviews. They could brighten up the most horrible days!

I'll tell you a secret: I didn't want to include a flashback in this chapter, not in its original version, at least! As you said, I supposed the visions would start to get boring for some readers, so I tried and avoid that specific technique... And failed miserably! You have to thank Radiohead for that. And a particularly rainy day.

Oh, I'm sorry this update was too confusing! Just to clarify a couple of points, this scene takes place approximately half an hour after Remus' discovery of Albus' secret. Harry is asleep and dreams about Cass' past, as usual, only to be thrown in his Sanctuary. Then Cassandra comes... and the rest is history!

Tonks will have a much more important role in this story compared to her books' self... I just realized I am unintentionally gathering all the not-so-major characters of the Harry Potter series and elevate them to the status of ... VIP ones. I could call myself a Robin Hood of sorts!

Ok. Ignore my ramble, by now you should have understood I tend to fall for that quite miserably. Thank you again for your review, it means a lot to me.


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Review #37, by apondinabluebox A Wolf at the Door

16th August 2014:
Hi Mary! :) I'm here for our review swap!

You've started off quite unusually for a story in that the first thing we see is a flashback of a very dark event, right in the middle of the action with zero buildup at all. I like it :) I did notice a few spacing issues, and I recommend using the simple editor. You'll have to type the HTML code for italics and bolds etc but it does make the chapter more pleasing to the eye.

Cassandra is an unique character! A child prodigy, university at twelve, soldier at fourteen, doctor at seventeen... One thing I would advise you to watch out for is making her too Mary Sue-ish. At the moment, I think you've given her a decent chunk of character development that helps to establish that her life has left her with emotional scars, that she's vulnerable and very confused with people and their reactions (which hints at her possibly not having enough friendly socialisation? She seems to be capable at communicating at work given her responsibilities, but in terms of forming friendships, not quite as much, since I don't see mention of a single friend in this chapter). As long as you keep up her character development and continue to expand upon it, I think there's potential for you to pull off Cassandra as a vivid, engaging character. :)

Another thing I spotted was your punctuation, particularly in dialogue. I understand that English isn't your first language, so you may want to consider having a beta-reader look this over. In particular, when you use punctuation at the end of a sentence -- this for example:

"Daughter. You have finally decided to honour me with your presence"

"I am happy to see you too, Colonel. How was the weather in London these days? I suppose it was quite sunny, considering you are as tanned as ever". Cassandra smirked when the Colonel's face assumed a dark shade of red and his eyes narrowed in an attempt to appear dangerous. Pathetic.

In the first sentence, there should be a full stop after presence and before the speech/quotation mark. In the second sentence, you have a full stop but it's after the speech mark, while it needs to be before. There are some really good topics in Writer's Resources on the forums about punctuation; they helped me and I'm sure they'll be helpful if you want to check them out.

I really enjoyed reading about the Colonel. He's certainly a very mean character, and Cassandra's rebellious thoughts and comments towards him remind us that she's still a teenager (although I wasn't a child prodigy, I presume that even a child prodigy would still have some days when they felt like being childish). I'm a little curious about the reasons behind his behaviour. Was he always such a nasty man? Why? Or was it an event that emotionally changed him for the worse? I'd love to see that expanded in the future chapters!

You've set up an alluring mystery about Cassandra and her father, and her still-unmentioned mother. Why does Cassandra not remember her father? Were her memories censored by magic or did her childhood self repress what clearly was major emotional trauma? Why does Cassandra latch onto her father and think of him, but not of her mother? You've made me ask a lot of questions, which definitely tempt readers to continue this story! ^.^

I hope that my concrit wasn't too harsh -- my intention was only to help you improve the story -- and if you have any questions, feel free to PM me on the forums! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the swap, I promise I'll write my review to your story as soon as I can.

The spacing is a bit off, I know... When I first started publishing on this chapter I didn't know there would be a difference in using a "paste" option or another, so I sort of... Followed my instinct, of course getting it all wrong. The last chapters are all fixed, though, and I will make a massive editing of the first ones as soon as possible!

I'm aware that Cassandra may seem Mary Sue in this first chapter, but I assure you she isn't. She is intelligent, that's true, but that doesn't prevent her from having doubts, moments of "childish behaviour", as you said, and not-so-brilliant ideas. I am trying to let her character be uncovered slowly, not pinpointing each flaws in the first chapters, otherwise it would be quite blunt and, in my opinion, a bit boring. In fact, if you have noticed, I did not mention anything about her physical appearance apart from tiny details. The next chapter will clear something regarding this aspect of her character. Regarding her exterior appearance: in the future, if you'll be interested in reading further, different characters will express different opinions regarding how Cassandra looks. One of them is NOT to be trusted, and I think you'll understand immediately who I am talking about.

Darn. I'm glad you pinpointed my mistakes regarding punctuation. I try to be as careful as possible when I write, and usually I don't have a problem with it because rules in Italian and English are not so different, but I write on my mobile phone most of the time. Although I re-read each chapter at least a dozen of times, it is easy to let something slip when writing on a mobile device. At night. With at least two hours of sleep before an entire day at Uni :). I'll correct what you pointed out when I'll do the famous massive editing!

Thank you for your comments and observations, and I hope I'll be able to read about your opinions regarding the next chapters too!

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Review #38, by magnolia_magic A Wolf at the Door

14th August 2014:
Hi! Maggie here with your requested review! Thanks so much for requesting this story. I'm looking into writing something action-y myself, so it will be very educational for me to read your take on the genre. I really enjoyed getting the chance to read your opening chapter!

I like Cassandra so far. She's a little abrasive for my taste, but with the hints of backstory you've given it's understandable. I think it was a smart move to include a lot of information about her background early on, because it puts some vulnerability behind the tough-as-nails soldier persona she has. Great job with her so far!

The flashback at the very beginning was especially good--I think it's my favorite part of the chapter. Seeing Cassandra as a little girl (especially a scared, defenseless one) helps us to sympathize with her. And it's just really well-written, too. I was transported into Cassandra's world, feeling her guilt with her and seeing those horrifying images. I wonder if she repressed those memories, or if she was maybe Obliviated? Haha, I just have to speculate. So many unanswered questions! I love the mystery you're setting up with regard to Cassandra's origins and childhood.

On the surface, Cassandra is kind of difficult to like. She's aloof, and we don't see her interacting positively with anyone in this chapter (but that's probably due to her "father" being so utterly awful.) That's why I like the little moments where you hint at what's beneath the facade. The mention of her wanting to get rid of her Army uniform in favor of a long skirt was a great way of showing us that Cassandra is more than just a hardened soldier. That image of her as a normal girl opened a door for me to connect with her :)

She does seem to have a lot of special abilities for someone so young, and I'm curious about where they came from. You might need to be cautious about Mary Sue-isms with Cassandra. I can get on board with the genius/child prodigy thing, but a fully-fledged doctor and soldier at seventeen? It's a little difficult to swallow. But if you keep going with the interesting character development that you've already started with this chapter, I'm confident that Cassandra will continue to be a compelling main character.

Ugh. The Colonel is just awful. A straight up piece of work. Adopting Cassandra and using her abilities for his own personal gain? Dastardly indeed. I hope he's gone for good, that's all I can say. What kind of "behavior" is he yelling at Cassandra about? That's one thing I wished was more clear. Does being attacked by a wolf count as "behavior?" That's the only thing he really mentioned (that I picked up on, at least), and that definitely isn't Cassandra's fault.

Oh my goodness the ending. What a way to hook your readers! Now I HAVE to keep reading, just to see what the Lupin thing is about. Is Cassandra connected or related to Remus in some way? I have to know! I'm very excited to read on :)

I enjoyed this! I think you have a really interesting plot going (especially with the "Lupin" bombshell at the end), and it's definitely unlike anything else I've read. I'll be interested to see how Cassandra develops over time. Keep up the good work and feel free to re-request any time!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

It may sound strange to you, but I'm glad you told me how much Cassandra may seem "unpleasant" at first, because that is what I wanted to gain. Cassandra is a soldier, a doctor, a really intelligent girl, that's true, but she's also a teenager who has not been raised properly. As other readers pointed out, she is capable of dealing with "professional" social interaction, but has difficulty to deal with friendship, affection, and so on. She is rough, instinctive, has an inner discipline due to her military upbringing but at the same time does not hesitate to express her judgment on people, sometimes unfairly so. I am aware that in this first chapter she can appear as a Mary Sue, but I can assure you, the areas in which she excels are limited. I am trying to develop her character a chapter at a time, and I hope you'll be there to let me know what you think about her. In the meantime, think of her as a grown up, grumbling Hermione, minus Ron and Harry.

Regarding the Colonel's part, the awful git considered "behavior" the fact that, instead of preserving her physical appearance -the only thing which he considered valuable about his daughter-, Cassandra fought the wolf losing permanently that quality. He would have preferred to see her in a coffin rather than alive and useless to his purposes.

Again, thank you so much for the review! I'll certainly re-request!

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Review #39, by Meleessuhh Atoms For Peace

12th August 2014:
Hello again! :)
So I remember a while ago I started reading this but couldn't finish because my computer froze. But now I found it again and I'm hooked :)

Your insights with your characters feel so personal, like a diary almost. It becomes much easier to connect with them this way because it feels more emotional rather than observant. I also love Cassie's character development; I feel like she's finally starting to feel better about herself and realizing how beautiful she is inside and out. And I'm glad she's reunited with Remus :)
But how is Dora going to help? I know this takes place on Prisoner of Azkaban where time traveling is going to take place, so will we see any of that?

Update soon! Great work and amazing storyline I can't wait for more :)

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Review #40, by Meleessuhh I Might Be Wrong

12th August 2014:
Can I tell you how happy I am that you decided to include Tonks in this? I love Tonks! But I feel like she isn't written about much. I love the details you put in about how she was popular but didn't have any friends because she was almost like a sideshow--nice to look at but not someone anyone cared to
know about. It also makes sense that since she's Sirius' cousin she'd be seen as a sort of outsider. It's a nice touch and something I've never thought about before.

Also, your POVs inside the character's heads is soo good. I love how you portray Sirius; he's rugged and handsome and brave on the outside but on the inside he's a deeply insecure man who is struggling coming to terms with himself. He's usually portrayed as a vain and somewhat selfish character, so I like the change :)

Really good chapter! On to the next one :)


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Review #41, by Meleessuhh Kid A

12th August 2014:
Hello again! :)
So I have to say you sure know how to keep readers entertained! I love how you format your flashbacks into your chapters, you do it so effortlessly without being overbearing or confusing. When Sirius said that those weren't normal scars, I thought of Snape and that Sectumsempra curse he used, thinking he may have hurt Cassandra because he's so prejudiced. But I really don't know! The way you portray her is done so well, she's such a relatable character because she is in tune with her insecurities but knows her strengths as well. Sorry this review is so jumbled my wifi is out so I'm on my phone :( haha but great chapter! I can't wait til I get to the end!


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Review #42, by Meleessuhh In Limbo

10th August 2014:
Hi again! I have to say, this is so naturally and beautifully written. I feel so bad for Cassandra because it's obvious she doesn't want to be ashamed of her appearance but she's clearly a beautiful person. She seems so sad and lonely! I love how you're not shy at al by portraying her insecurities, it makes her very realistic and relatable.

At first I thought that perhaps Lupin attacked her and she was a werewolf, but then realized that doesn't make sense. Did Sirius attack her? I'm so so curious! I'm definitely going to keep reading, this is very captivating. Awesome chapter, I can't wait to finish the rest! :)


Author's Response: Hi again!

Aw, thank you! I wasn't too sure about this chapter, I wanted to attach it to the previous one, but then I would have ruined its ending.. Well, I'm glad it turned out alright!

Unfortunately I can't reveal you anything, of course ;), but I assure you, everything will be explained in the future!

Thank you again for reading my story!!

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Review #43, by Meleessuhh A Wolf at the Door

10th August 2014:
Hello there! This is Melissa returning the favor :)

Wow! Your opening scene is so captivating. You clearly show how traumatized Cassandra is without giving away too much. You show the despair so well, how she feels like a lost outsider by the man she grew up believing was supposed to be a father figure. I absolutely loved this chapter, and I already love Cassandra. I really like how she's not the typical beautiful/perfect character, she's scarred and battle worn. I'm really curious to see how she progresses, can't wait to read the rest :)


Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story!

I am so glad you liked the opening scene and you don't think Cassandra is stereotyped. I am working hard to make her as round as possible, so it's fantastic to read that you liked her!

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Review #44, by Gabriella Hunter In Limbo

4th August 2014:

I'm back here with your review and you'll have to pardon me for being so late! I was busy writing and trying to catch up on some of my own stories and wishing I had candy. Hahah.

Anyhoo, poor Cassie! I feel so sorry for her, especially knowing that the Colonel just tossed her aside so nastily. I don't know if I want her to see him again, just to beat him down or what but I can't believe he actually just pushed her away and thought that giving her that poor excuse of a house would make up for anything!

I thought you did a really good job portraying how lost Cassie was thought, the description of her new home had my heart aching. I was able to picture every broken thing and I thought that it was a beautiful way of showing just how torn up she was on the inside. I also personally like that Cassie isn't some raging beauty and has both mental and physical scars and it really sets her apart from some of the other heroines that I've read in the past. I think its a bold thing to try for a main character but I'm happy that you decided to go in this direction, you don't shy away from how ugly the scars are or how they've damaged her self-esteem. The hysterical laugh towards the end made my blood chill though and I was so upset at the thought of how alone she was just then, it really stood out to me.

What also was brilliant were the flashbacks! What could they all mean? I have to know more and I want to know what Lupin and Sirius have to do with her life, I really hope you keep moving in that direction the hints are driving me crazy. Hahah.

That last line at the end was wonderful as well, it really made me feel for Caassie. I hope she gets rescued because I hate to think of her being lost right now, it really makes me want to hop right into this story and hug her. Hahah.

I think this was a great chapter but you missed a few capitalized words here and there. Other than that, it could be a bit smoother in some parts but was a great read regardless!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review!

I'm glad you liked my description of Cassandra! I am trying to depict her as different. Not beautiful, sexy or anything... She is, as you said, quite messed up, both physically and psychologically, and magic won't do anything on these aspects, I fear.

Oops! Typos are my damnation! I'm glad you pointed them out, this story will undertake a massive editing soon, and knowing what mistakes I should look for will be immensely helpful. Just one little thing... I don't actually know what do you mean by "smoother". It's not a citric to what you said, mind you... I really don't know what you are referring to, if you mean that my style should be smoother, aka less descriptive in wounds/violence, or if you intended that some of my sentences are too long or intricate. It it is the latter, thank you for telling me. Since in Italian we tend to use lots of commas and not many full stops, I may have written too long sentences, and I would be eternally grateful if you could tell me which one seemed too... Wrong in your opinion.

If you referred to the amount of details in my descriptions... You may not like some of the next chapters. Oops! ;)

Anyway, thank you again for your suggestions, and if you don't mind I would like to re request as soon as I can!


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Review #45, by Chazzie Atoms For Peace

28th July 2014:
Ah you updated! :D
It was a brilliant chapter, I loved it. Meh, I love all your chapters. I mentioned that before, right? Well, the backstory about the wolves and the Magoi was brilliant. I loved the way the creatures responded to the Trojans, with the rising fear that started to accumulate as they destroyed the island. And the little girl was called Cassandra too! Is Cassie named for her ancestor, or is it just coincidence?
Yay, some Cassie and Neffie (that's an adorable nickname) action! I loved the way they interacted, neither fully trusting each other. I do hope they become very good friends, because Nymphadora is headstrong and impulsive and caring - just like Cassandra! Thank you so much for writing that!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the review!

I'm glad you liked the backstory :). I was a bit doubtful about it, I feared the readers would have dropped the story, thinking "where the hell did this think come from?!", but you liked it, so yay!

Cassie and Neffie rule! They will certainly dominate the scene in the next updates, so don't worry! ( Not to mention the fact that this WILL be a Remus/Tonks universe, so yeah... ;))

Thank you again for the review! I hope to hear from you soon for the next chapter, which is already up!


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Review #46, by Gabriella Hunter A Wolf at the Door

14th July 2014:

This is Gabbie from the forums with your review, my dear! Nice to meet you and all that junk. So, this was really unique! I'd never read anything like this before and I think the way you opened this chapter was very bold and very dark. Most stories don't open on such a violent event but I applaud you for having the courage and its very well written. I was able to feel every bit of pain that Cassie was going through and my heart stopped towards the end of that flash back.

I want to know what happened to her family even more now and what was happening for her town to be attacked. I hope you go into more detail later on! :D

Cassie herself seems like a really interesting character. She's confident, capable but also vulnerable and I think that makes her a bit more relatable as a person. There's something sensitive about her that I found very realistic and I hope we get to see more of that in the future. You didn't give any descriptions on her appearance, however aside from the scars and while I found that VERY cool (Most people wouldn't have done this) I'd like to have some inkling of her hair color or something. Not sure if you'd intended for her not to be described but I'm just a sucker for detail.

Now, the Colonel is horrible. I've written some awful fathers in my day but there's just something about this man that really made me angry and a little creeped out. Even though Cassie was adopted, he treats her with the same sort of regard he would a dog and that was not a pun. On one hand, I'm glad that she's away from him but on the other...I can't believe that he just kicked her out! I can't BELIEVE that he was going to MAKE her marry someone she didn't love!

I'd like to meet this boy that she deliberately pushed away too. Hah. Cassie was very proud of herself for that one!

Now, that ending shocked me. Lupin?! As in...Remus?! I have to know more now so don't be afraid to re-request!

I didn't spot too many problems but there are a few words that are missing in paragraphs but everything else seems pretty good.

Thanks for the read!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review and sorry if it took so much to answer. RL sent me to a place where internet is almost non-existent.

I am glad the beginning made an impression on you... I wanted to make it "real", so that the reader would be able to see what was happening... And it looks like I did it! Yay!

As for Cassandra description, the lack of details regarding her physical appearance was made on purpose, because she'll be really carefully described in the other chapters. I understand your concern, I get so frustrated when an author doesn't describe characters or scenes accurately enough! In this case, however, it was inevitable and if you get on reading, and I really hope you do, you'll understand why.

Anyway, thank you again for your review, and I'll certainly re-request as soon as I can!

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Review #47, by crestwood Separator part 1

12th July 2014:
I feel terrible for Remus.. he seems to be the only one in the dark here. I wish Dumbledore would stop playing with his emotions because I just want him and Cassandra to be reunited. If Remus, Cassandra, Sirius and Harry could all meet that would make everyone's lives better and ease a lot of the pain that they've all felt. None of them have had an easy go of it, have they? I'm shocked at how naturally you've slipped this OC into the Harry Potter universe as if she's always been a part of it. I'm still astounded that you've managed to write this without being a native English speaker, I really am. You're incredibly talented! Thank you so much for your request and make sure to re-request when new chapters have been uploaded!

Author's Response: AND I DID IT! I answered to all of your amazing, marvelous reviews! Thank you, thank you, thank you for your feedback. I really appreciated it. Oh, and thank you again for your compliments about my English. I simply adore this language, so your words mean a lot to me.

Dumbledore is Dumbledore. He cares for the safety of the majority of people, but tends to forget that the world is made of single individuals... He could be defined as a fan of "utilitarianism", in a certain sense. Why is Cassandra so important in the safety of the wizarding and muggle world? You'll see in the next chapters, which I have almost completed! Right now there are two chapters you could review, but I think I'll wait a bit before re-requesting... I just adore when I open HPFF and I see so many reviews at the same time, apart from you and a couple of other wonderful readers I don't get that much of a feedback!

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Review #48, by crestwood I Might Be Wrong

11th July 2014:
I really like the Tonks point of view here in this chapter. I was not expecting that at all. I'm curious what Snape's true intentions are. He seems not so bad in this chapter, but still kind of mean nonetheless. You seem to be preparing to connect everything all together that you're introducing. I can't wait to see that happen!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

See? Snape isn't THAT bad... Well, right now he is, but... He DOES have a conscience... Deep, deep down.

Tonks was a surprise for me too! Originally she should have appeared much later, but I just couldn't wait to introduce her! I love her!

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Review #49, by crestwood Sommersi e Salvati

11th July 2014:
What did Cassandra let Bill do to her?! Everyone keeps referring to it as letting him "kill" her, but I don't exactly understand what it is that he's doing. It's interesting that Harry met her, even if it was all in his mind. I think that has to do with the Pack's connection in some way. McGonagall's talk with Harry was enlightening and she seems to have doubts about Sirius' guiltiness. Can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Well, Bill did what lots of pharmaceutical companies do every day... Just illegally.

Oh, yes, McGonagall has doubts... She has been having them for more than a decade. And she isn't the only one!

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Review #50, by crestwood  Last Flowers

11th July 2014:
McGonagall and Dumbledore's conversation is interesting. Everyone seems very intent that Cassandra will not be happy in the Wizarding World, but she's still dead set on finding Remus. I'm supremely annoyed by Snape in this chapter, he says some terrible things about Cass. Like, soulless, really Snape? Ugh, he always bothers me even though I know he's working with Dumbledore all this time. He's still not a nice guy. I can't wait to read the first meeting between Cassandra and Remus regardless! You do a good job of bringing all sorts of emotions out of me haha

Author's Response: Eheh, thank you! Yeah, I'm certainly not fond of Snape... Maybe it's because I grew up reading the first four books, maybe it's because I've always adored Sirius and the Marauders... I just can't see him as "the good guy". This won't be a complete Snape-bashing story, though. I wanted to, but I reckoned this would have meant creating a completely stereotypical character. So, alas, he will do some good things in the future. FAR away in the future.

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