Reading Reviews for What If
  
71 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Teddy We Can Win This

10th March 2014:
I loved how you wrote Sirius in this chapter. Joking that he broke of the habbit of killing people seems just like him. So they are already training for the third task. It's moving rather quick. Great work!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review!

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Review #27, by Ginny The Second Task

9th March 2014:
I thought it was great that Neville insisted on accompanying Harry to get the Gillyweed. Breaking into Snape's office must have been terryfing for him. Great chapter!

Author's Response: I think Neville was determined to put his fear aside and help Harry. Thanks for all your reviews! I really appreciate it and I hope that you keep enjoying the story.

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Review #28, by Ginny Two Beavers Are Better Than One

9th March 2014:
I like Cedric in your story. Him and Harry working together on the tournament is a great idea. They seem to be better friends too, so I really hope he won't die in this story. It was good to see Neville appear. He's one of my favourite characters.
Are you a fan of How I Met Your Mother? The title of this chapter is based on the beaver song, isn't it?

Author's Response: I'm glad you like them working together, but of course I will not give away too much about the rest of the story! Neville is one of my favourite characters too. He will be playing a rather small role in the beginning, but will become more important as the story progresses.

I'm indeed a huge fan of How I Met Your Mother and that's where I got the idea for the title of this chapter.


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Review #29, by Ginny The Yule Ball

9th March 2014:
Awesome chapter... My favourite one so far. The moments between Harry and Ginny were really sweet. I also liked the fact that they were all having fun together during the ball. It's a big difference from the book, but I like your version of the ball better. This is a good story so far. Nice work!

Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted them to have more fun at the ball than in the book.

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Review #30, by Ginny Christmas Day

9th March 2014:
That snowball scene! That was hilarious. I do think that a month detention is a bit long, even for McGonagall. I liked the fact that Harry bought Ron new dress robes as a christmas present. And now we'll get to see Seamus wearing his old ones!

Your English is very good in my opinion. And believe it or not, I'm from Belgium too! (Liege)

Author's Response: I certainly had a lot of fun when I wrote that scene.
That's great! I'm from Brugge/Bruges myself, so we still speak different languages. Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #31, by Ginny A Date

9th March 2014:
I really liked it. The clumsiness of Harry and Ginny is just adorable.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'm really glad you liked it.

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Review #32, by Hogwarts27 O.W.L.'s and Surprises

1st February 2014:
I can already feel you setting up the next part of the adventure as this story winds down. The Hogs Head, of course. Fantastic scene at Grimmauld Place and all that led up to the DA accompanying Dumbledore there. Terrific battle at the end. I was holding my breath when Bellatrix showed up. I was expecting her to kill someone - either Regulus or Sirius, and I'm glad it didn't happen.

Well, this has been a fantastic story so far, and I'm glad there's more to come. This was an absolutely delightful read, and I didn't mind the deviation from canon one little bit, because every character was kept in character. I give you a most sincere standing ovation for the hours of enjoyment this story has given me! And I thank you very much for writing it. And now - ah yes - the story continues!

Author's Response: Sirius did have a close call, but luckily Harry was there.

This is the first story I've ever written and I had a lot of fun with it. I'm very glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for all your kind reviews, they really mean a lot. Hope to hear from you again!

Teddy


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Review #33, by Hogwarts27 Guilt

1st February 2014:
Wonderful chapter. Everything made sense. It was interesting to read Regulus' story. And the destruction of the locket was just as it should be. The details were shifted from canon, but it was just as entertaining to see how you would shuffle the characters, picking and choosing who would play a part and how. Only one more chapter to go - and then a sequel! Oh yes, I'm so glad! I'm already looking forward to it!

Author's Response: Thanks again! The locket shows the deepest fears of the person attacking it and I wouldn't know of a better fear for Sirius then this one.

I'm still working on the sequel, but I already posted a few chapters. I hope you'll enjoy it just as much.

Teddy


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Review #34, by Hogwarts27 A New Home

1st February 2014:
Another fine chapter. I enjoyed every bit of it. Everything with Malfoy was so intriguing, and I was interested to find out what would happen with him. Same with Sirius. I'm glad it turned out that he wasn't in any trouble that would get him sent to Azkaban again. The acceptance of the quidditch cup was very touching. And I was so happy to see Dobby make an appearance. And as usual, you leave me curious to find out where the story goes from here.

Author's Response: Draco Malfoy is quite an intruiging character in my opinion. At this point in the story, I still could have gone two very different ways with him.

I had to include Dobby at some point. He's a great character.

Teddy


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Review #35, by Hogwarts27 Moving On

1st February 2014:
I enjoyed the opening scene with the kids all talking about resisting the Death Eaters. I thought it very fitting for Dean to present a portrait of Angelina. I liked the quidditch team loyalty to Angelina. If there's another game as it feels like there will be, it'll be interesting to see how they play with 1 player short. Great scene about Malfoy. And I enjoyed the scene between Harry and Ginny too. It was very well-writeen and had a comfortable flow between the characters. It showed very well how close they've grown. Harry's kiss was very well timed and nicely written. The description was brief but very vivid and effective. Another fantastic trial! I absolutely loved it again! I was happy to see Kingsley play a small part. And I loved how this turned out. And now Draco will have a little problem. How interesting. I wonder who will help him. Will he and his sister both end up living with Sirius and Harry? Well, whatever happens will be quite an interesting development. I can't wait to see.

One spelling mistake - couldn't be sure The Burrow was save anymore.

Author's Response: I think it wouldn't feel right to them to replace Angelina after playing together for so long.

Malfoy finally stepped up and did the right thing, but I don't think he would want to live with Harry and Sirius. There's still a lot of resentment there.

Thank you for another nice review.

Teddy


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Review #36, by Hogwarts27 It Has Begun

1st February 2014:
Once again, a very fine chapter. Ah, an article by Skeeter, that will surely stir up trouble. And of course, Harry has to blame himself about Angelina. He just wouldn't be Harry if he didn't. And Sirius was the perfect person to show up! I loved their conversation. I enjoyed that little part you put in to show Sirius' reaction to seeing Harry and Jacinta use the invisibility cloak. I also like how you still keep Snape in character even though he's friendly toward Harry. You still keep his dialogue reserved and distant. Too many authors make Snape much too friendly in a story like this. A terrific scene with Dumbledore. I enjoyed it a lot. And a touching end scene to the chapter. All very well done!

One little word mistake - I was not here hen the Death Eaters stroke - should be struck.

Author's Response: Harry and Snape may have sorted out most of their problems, but Snape is still Snape. He will never be a very friendly guy.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I hope you keep enjoying it.

Teddy


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Review #37, by Hogwarts27 Fallen

1st February 2014:
Death Eater attack - terrific! Great scene! And Neville insists the whole DA should respond just like in the books - great! Harry takes charge brilliantly. He plans everything just right and thinks of protecting everyone. Heartless - that's the perfect word for Bellatrix alright. I was excited when Tonks showed up with the Order. This just kept getting better and better. Oh gosh, Angelina. I was surprised at the casualty, but it made for an excellent chapter. A very exciting read. Thank you.

Author's Response: I kind of felt bad when I killed off Angelina, but I thought it was necessary. Now every DA member knows how dangerous it is and what risks they take if they stay with the group. It is the first time they ever got in contact with Death Eaters after all.

Teddy


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Review #38, by Hogwarts27 War Childs

1st February 2014:
There is a lot going on in this chapter, and I liked all of it. I loved Luna. She's just great. You write all your characters so well - it's one of the things that makes this story such a joy to read. And Snape has to get Harry's blood - excellent! The risk just went up for Harry. Then another quiddtich game to provide some action. It served that purpose just fine. And Neville - well, we know what's on his mind, poor guy. Great scene when he finally talked later in the chapter. I'm even worried about Draco, and I have hopes for him now. I'm glad you made it take while before any of the kids in the DA count cast a patronus, and it was so fitting that it was Hermione. Fantastic chapter!

Author's Response: I'm glad you keep enjoying the story. Luna is a dream for any writer, I love her character. She will reappear in the story quite a lot and I always try to keep her character as Luna as possible.

I didn't think it would be realistic if they all succeeded in casting a Patronus right away, even Hermione. I definitely think the DA members are the bravest students of Hogwarts, but they can't all be that powerful.

Thanks for reviewing!

Teddy


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Review #39, by Hogwarts27 Eventful Holidays

1st February 2014:
Another terrific chapter. Sirius is a good cook? - I can believe it. I was a little surprised Kreacher didn't do the cooking. He doesn't seem to be around though. I enjoyed reading all the new history you created between the marauders, Lily, and Snape. Snape being a school friend with them is a very interesting new twist that I've never read in a story before. It was nice that Lily and James got to join in the conversation. I enjoyed the little scene where the twins found out about the map makers. Oh my goodness - the scene with Jacinta. That was marvelous.

Author's Response: I wanted to show how hard it must have been for Snape to be friends with the Marauders and Lily while he was a Slytherin and the first wizarding war was going on.

I realized it was never revealed in the books when and even if the twins ever found out who the Marauders were. I could imagine how they would react when they heard who they really were and wanted to include that in my story.

Jacinta sure has been through a lot, but now Dumbledore will do everything to help her of course.

Thanks for your nice comments. I really like hearing what you liked and didn't like.

Teddy


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Review #40, by Hogwarts27 Gryffindor versus Slytherin

1st February 2014:
What a fun chapter this was! 5 points from Slytherin on Malfoy by Snape - liked it. Malfoy is finally getting a little discipline from teachers - and Dumbledore's surely keeping an eye on him too. Nice history about Angelina. We knew nothing about her from the books. Alright, a quidditch game! I had to put some quidditch scenes in my own novel, and I could only do so much with these before you ran out of ideas. So I like to see what sort of action other authors think up. So here, Harry gets the best of Malfoy - alright! In your face you dirty - I loved it! This was fun. And then Krum shows up - what a pleasant surprise. Good humor, great chapter.

Author's Response: I absolutely agree when it comes to writing a Quidditch game. I think this one turned out well, but I found it hard to come up with new scenarios too.

I really wanted to include a background story about Angelina. She's really tough and independent, but has really a good heart. Her history shows why.


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Review #41, by Hogwarts27 Secrets From The Past

1st February 2014:
This was another great chapter. Secrets are always intriguing. And Jacinta and Snape both have them. You warned me in your review response that Snape would stray from cannon and I didn't mind it. I will say I think he confessed his secret a little too easily though. I think this scene would have been better if you'd made him more guarded about revealing his past to Harry. Good scene anyway though. Very well written. That Snape is pained by his past certainly comes through in the writing. I loved the scene where Snape enters Harry's mind and sees all Harry's memories. That scene was excellent. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes from here. On to the next chapter!

Author's Response: I think the scene where Snape tells Harry about his past is one of the baddest scenes I've written. I liked the idea though and I really wanted to use it. Maybe I'll rewrite it in the future.

Thanks for all your reviews and the constructive criticism!

Teddy


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Review #42, by Hogwarts27 An Army Is Formed

1st February 2014:
Another lovely chapter. Special teaching about spells from Dumbledore - now that was something I was hoping for in the books. Dumbledore should certainly know some secrets about spells. I was glad to see you put that in. Great scene with Jacinta. It took me completely by surprise. The first thing that crossed my mind was that maybe Draco was responsible, but it could be other people as well. Very interesting.

Author's Response: Being sorted into Gryffindor as a Malfoy sure isn't what is expected of her. I think it's clear that Jacinta is an outcast in the Malfoy family and has been for longer than just this year.

Thanks for your review!

Teddy


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Review #43, by Hogwarts27 Birth of a Legend

1st February 2014:
Terrific chapter. I liked it a lot. Oh dear, here come the lessons with Snape. I was wondering if Dumbledore might be doing them. Dumbledore was just like he is in the books in this chapter - a little manipulative with the way he persuades Harry into doing things that Harry's not always comfortable with. I enjoyed the quidditch scene at the beginning too. All around very well done.

Author's Response: Of all the characters in this story, Snape is probably the one that moves furthest away from cannon. I hope it won't be a dealbreaker for you. Dumbledore might be less secretive in this story, but he's still very persuasive. I think Harry trusts him enough to follow his advice.


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Review #44, by Hogwarts27 Professor Tonks

1st February 2014:
Nice chapter. Hagrid really kept Malfoy in line. And Tonks is just the right person to teach them dueling, while Harry gets pushed toward teaching too, with Dumbledore's approval even. Hmm, no sign of Umbridge. Going on to the next.

Author's Response: I must say that I liked the part of Hagrid putting Malfoy in his place myself. Especially because Malfoy tried so hard to get Hagrid sacked back in third year.

The students would surely learn a lot from Tonks as she is and Auror and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. She seemed to be the best choice as DADA teacher.

Dumbledore has more plans for Harry than just teaching, as you will find out soon or already found out.

As for Umbridge, she won't play a role in this story for quite some time and probably not in the role you would expect.

Thanks for all your reviews!

Teddy


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Review #45, by Hogwarts27 Happy Birthday

31st January 2014:
I put my last review in the wrong chapter, so I'll put my Coming Home chapter review here.

Coming Home - A very nice back to school chapter. Well, Tonks should be a good DADA teacher. And Neville remembered the password. I don't what to think about Malfoy's little sister though, in Gryffindor no less. Well, I'm sure you have a plan! Curioser and curioser. Very entertaining.

One Typo - No off to bed.

Author's Response: I realize it was a rather strange choice to make Neville a Prefect. Harry would probably have been Dumbledore's first choice, but - as in the books - the headmaster probably thought Harry had enough responsibilities as it was. I think Dumbledore would know there's more to Neville than the eye meets and that he would rise to the occasion.

We will see more of Jacinta as the story progresses.

Teddy


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Review #46, by Hogwarts27 Coming Home

31st January 2014:
Oh my gosh, a painting as a special gift in your story too! At first I thought the pensieve was going to be Harry's special gift - and then he gets this wonderful portrait. I absolutely love it! I'm rushing off to read the next chapter.

Author's Response: Not quite as special, this painting, but I think it means the world to Harry.

Thanks for reading so far into the story and letting me know what you think. I really appreciate it.

Teddy


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Review #47, by Hogwarts27 The Trial of Peter Pettigrew

31st January 2014:
What a great chapter. The more I read of this story, the more I like it. I was just absorbed in this. I could picture the trial happening right in front of my eyes as if I was sitting right in the courtroom. And because this isn't how the books went, I had no idea how it would turn it. I have to say, I shared Harry's relief that Dumbledore was playing a part. And I was a little worried Sirius would get sentenced to Azkaban for being an unregistered animagus. But he's cleared and now Harry gets to live with him. Awesome! I love it. This was great writing and great storytelling with everyone in character. I couldn't ask for better.

Author's Response: Thanks for the nice comments. I remember I was struggling a bit with the trial when I wrote this, but I'm glad you think it turned out well. I really wanted Sirius' name to be cleared, because I think he deserves it.

I think it was fitting for Dumbledore to play an important part in the trial. He wouldn't have it anything else. Especially because Harry, Ron and Hermione had to testify against Pettigrew.

Thanks for you continuous reviews. I'm really happy you like it so far.

Teddy


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Review #48, by Hogwarts27 I Have To Do What Now?

31st January 2014:
A marvelous chapter! I LOVED every bit of this. Well written, well thought out. Trelawney getting killed made sense. I just loved this whole conversation about Voldemort and the prophecy. It was a very enjoyable read and I'm looking forward to more.

The wording of one phrase was a little off - "as Sirius is your godfather I found it wisely that he would also be present. - If I understand your meaning correctly, I think you mean to say - I thought it wise that he should be present.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I always love writing conversations between Harry and Dumbledore.



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Review #49, by Hogwarts27 Grimmauld Place

31st January 2014:
Another fine chapter. I enjoyed it from start to finish. I especially liked the Dumbledore scene - you write him so well. Remus is another of my favorite characters, and he was only in this chapter a little, but his dialogue felt good. I like a lot of dialogue in a story and I like it to be in character. This story does that very well. This story is such a nice relaxed read. I'm really enjoying it. Every time I finish a chapter, I'm eager to read the next one.

One typo - who thought you, Harry, to perform a Patronus - You must have meant to type taught

Author's Response: There will definitely be more of Remus to come, but not for a while I think. He's one of my favourite characters too and I would have liked to see more of him in the books.

Thanks for continuing with the story. I really appreciate all your comments and advice.

Teddy



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Review #50, by Hogwarts27 It Happened

31st January 2014:
Hi. What a great chapter. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Both scenes were great, and really well written. Good descriptions, good characterization, interesting events, and the pace felt good. I figured Crouch Jr would have to be the one who'd end up helping Voldemort in place of Pettigrew, but I had no idea who the victim would be if this ritual was still going to be needed. I loved the correspondence between Harry and Dumbledore. It happened. That was perfect! I'm off to read more.

Author's Response: I'm really glad you are still enjoying the story now that it is moving away from cannon.

I always thought that the person Voldemort used for the ritual wouldn't be opposed to turn to the dark arts if it suited him, so I included a little background information on that.



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