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Reading Reviews for Pieces of What
  
62 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MousePatronus The Only Way

17th January 2016:
I must say this is one of the best Fanfics I have ever read. The attention to detail along with the most heartrending story I have seen in a while leaves me hungry for more. I hope that you will continue on this story as I eagerly await the next chapter! Please continue writing and I thank you for the clear passion and effort you put into your writing. Hope to see the next page soon!

Yours,
Mouse

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm excited you're enjoying this and the next chapter should be up soon.



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Review #27, by Katronchu Mantra of Secrets

17th January 2016:
(3)
I especially liked that in this chapter!! :)
Not that I would know what it's like to be blind, but I imagine it similary! It's a really good trope and it's definitely well written. (I hope I'm not being ableist in any way, if I do, I'm really sorry! Also English is not my mothertonge so I'm especially sorry if this weird or not comprehendable :D)
I'm SO looking forward to new chapters!

Author's Response: No, I don't think you're being ableist at all! Even though we can never truly know how it feels to be in someone else's shoes (like being blind, gay or just unloved), I think it's really important to imagine what it feels like - to try to empathize and understand.

Your English is fine:) Thanks again for the reviews and I shall update very soon.


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Review #28, by Katronchu Mantra of Secrets

17th January 2016:
(2)
I can imagine that it's particulary difficult to write fanfiction with all its describing elements, trying to make the reader feel like they are in the same place as the protagonist while he is blind - as you can't use his sight for describing how he sees the world. But I really like how you deal with this problem, whenever there is no way of telling how Harrys' surroundings, you simply describe what it seems to look like to him (through his other senses) and it just feels like being in Harry's head a little more than usual (which is a really nice thing :D).

Author's Response: Yay - review #2!

Part of the reason I made Harry blind was because I'm a new writer - and I wanted to explore what it's like to go through the world without sight - wanted to write it convincingly. But! Him being blind did become central to the story and their relationship - which I haven't spoken about directly, but that for the reader to think over:)


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Review #29, by Katronchu Mantra of Secrets

17th January 2016:
well, what can I say.
I found this fanfiction a few days ago, spent more of the night reading it than I would like to admit. After having to reset my mobile phone last night, I lost the bookmark and had to google it, which was worth the whole 30 minutes it took me :D
I absolutely love this story. It's so detailed, it's exactly the right amount of cheesiness and suspense. And of course, it's so nice to be at Hogwarts again

Author's Response: I woke up this morning to check my page and you're my new favourite person of the day.
You left me three reviews! That's so incredibly generous of you to take the time to tell me yours thoughts:) Really love that you enjoy this fic enough to hunt it down after you lost the page!

Also, I'm glad you feel the tone of the story doesn't take itself too seriously - as there is some heavy Angst in some scenes. A little bit of cheese is always good.:)


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Review #30, by Olivier Mantra of Secrets

17th January 2016:
I can say this without a doubt... I love this story so much! please keep writing its so amazing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind review! It's people like you that keep me going:)

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Review #31, by Casper06 Mantra of Secrets

14th January 2016:
NO! how could you leave it there?!?!

Author's Response: Just for you I'll post my next one early next week, pinky-swear.

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Review #32, by Casper06 Hold Your Tongue

8th January 2016:
i dont like rook lol buy yay for draco still being alive!

Author's Response: Rook is a real piece of work but I enjoy writing him, hah.

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Review #33, by Donnie Hold Your Tongue

5th January 2016:
I cant put into words how much i absolutely love this story.

Author's Response: Thank you so much:) Reviews like these are what keep me going!

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Review #34, by Rainboy Hold Your Tongue

4th January 2016:
Chapter after chapter, the plot looks more interesting. Keep it up ;)

Author's Response: Oh, I hope so Rainboy! Thanks so much:)

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Review #35, by ReluctantMuggle Hold Your Tongue

4th January 2016:
awww no!! poor Draco :( hope the next chapter is up soon...:)

Author's Response: Just posted it now, so it should be up today!

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Review #36, by ReluctantMuggle Mother and Father

30th December 2015:
Love the direction this is going. Glad you got your mojo back :) Can't wait for some intimacy/admission of feelings...and will Ron find out? That could be a fun scene to write.

Hope you're enjoying your holidays and can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: thanks so much! Something should be up soon. Hope to hear form you again:)

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Review #37, by Megan Mother and Father

26th December 2015:
Oh no!!! Can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: chapter coming up

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Review #38, by Rainboy Mother and Father

24th December 2015:
Hmm, let's wait and see what will happen...

Author's Response: chapter should be posted soon!

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Review #39, by padfoot_prongs101 Mother and Father

23rd December 2015:
Oooo I was not expecting that! I really love this story heaps so thankyou so much!

Author's Response: thanks for the review:)

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Review #40, by Casper06 Mother and Father

22nd December 2015:
WHAT!?!?! O_O what the heck is going on?!?!?

Author's Response: You'll see!

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Review #41, by Dani In the Moonlight

20th December 2015:
This is the best fanfic I've ever read so keep writing chapters please lol

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much!! I'm hoping to have one more before Christmas, but if not, happy holidays!

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Review #42, by Rainboy In the Moonlight

19th December 2015:
I should confess that it was hard for me to control the excitement I felt while I was reading your whole story in this evening without a break! And it's also hard to find the approprate words to express my feelings toward it. It was just awesome. :)
I personally write LGBT and non-LGBT themed short stories for a few years. While I was reading the original Harry potter series, I constantly had a feeling that sometimes I couldn't stop myself not wanting to change the storyline or characters. Even I was thinking about writing a LGBT-themed fanfiction to fulfill this desire. So, I searched the web for existing works and I found your lovely story. I try to briefly express my overall opinion about it:

* The pros:
The situation and the time that you chose for the start of story was very good. The idea of blindness and the opportunity it provided to reflect and explore the inner most feelings of people -which they're not even aware of it while they're just busy about the outer world- was brilliant. Most of people don't even know theirselves until they stop just caring about their surroundings and give theirselves some time to explore their deepest emotions and thoughts. The steady and rational transformation of the relation between Harry and Draco from hate to love is very well-written. This is one of the main strong points of your story. You successfully transformed the story from situations at the end of original books to the current point without the reader feeling something happent too soon or without a reason. In fact, the events, feelings and dialogues of characters were very amusing till now. Specially for me, expressing the feelings of homosexul boys which usually people don't get it easily, is a very important thing in a LGBT-themed story and you did it perfectly in my view. The narration of story from the view of two different persons made it even more interesting. Trying to have your own writing style while not going too far from the original style was a good thing.

* The cons:
Maybe it's just me, but I feel sometimes specially when harry and Draco involved and there are many people around them, like while they were in potions classes or practical DADA classes, you focus so much on narrating the interaction and dialogues between them that you isolate them from their surroundings. For example in the practical DADA class, while Draco was duelling with Harry, you didn't talk so much about what's going on around them. It felt isolated and out of place. Even if you intended to create a dream-like atmosphere and show Harry is so much important for Draco that he doesn't notice anything else, it would be better to make this clear for the reader. To imply my intention better, you could write something like: "Draco was seeing blured faces of people and green lights around them and hearing noises and spells, but all he was concerned about was the bright green eyes of Harry and how he can find where he's standing". Or in potions classes you could every now and then say something very briefly about what's going on around them. This way the reader could feel that every thing is happening in a real dynamic environment .One minor thing that made some part of previous chapters confusing, was when you started a long monologue and it was not clear who is saying it.

OK, as you may have noticed, my native language is not English so I tried to give my opinion just about those aspects of your story that are language-independent such as story line and characters. But technically, I also enjoyed your style of writing and how you used the words and phrases while keeping the feel of original books. I hope writing this comment shows how much I love your story and how I'm looking forward to read the next chapters. For me, the writing is about enjoying the creation of a world that you like. So, enjoy the writing and let us share this joy with you by reading it.

I hope you the best wishes

Author's Response: Hi Rainboy!

I have to say that this is the best review I've ever received -so thank you so much for that. I've probably read it 3 times now,haha:)It's such an incredible compliment when a fellow writer enjoys your work and gives you constructive criticism.

What you mentioned about the two narratives is very interesting as I try to make the tones a little different from each other. I sometimes purposely remain vague about who's POV it is so that the reader decides for themselves if it's more Draco or Harry - but you're right: It may be better to just be clear about who's thinking/talking.

You made a great point about expanding on the setting of some scenes. With Harry's POV, I have a tendency to describe it in sounds/tasks, but I should make up for the lack of details in Draco's POV. Thanks for the tip:)

The end of your review inspired me to re-write a chapter (it was deleted and I was having a very hard time with it). Sometimes I forget that it's about the process, not so much the result. I do love writing, and I just needed a little reminder:)

I don't know you but I'd have to guess you're a pretty cool person. Hoping you continue to enjoy the story, but I'm sure you'd be honest with me if you didn't


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Review #43, by ReluctantMuggle Run

18th December 2015:
Hey! You said you don't know if people are readings this story--I just read all there is starting last night and finishing this chapter this morning. I'm so in love with this story--please keep writing.

You said you want constructive criticism more than praise, but I'm having trouble coming up with any kind of criticism. I really enjoy the pace of the story and how the relationship has developed. Too often, other fan fics just hop into a relationship like there was no animosity between the characters before, which is annoying. I like that this story avoids that and takes it slow.

Anyway, please keep writing and if you want to talk anything over in the story, feel free to message me! :)

Author's Response: Hi Reluctant Muggle!

I'm always happy to capture the attention of a new reader! Your review really made me smile. It's a huge compliment for your to read all this in one go, lol! The next chapter will be up soon. Hope to hear you around:)

Augurey~


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Review #44, by Megan Run

16th December 2015:
I'm really enjoying your story and I hope you will continue to post. I was so excited to see a new chapter today! :) As far as being constructive...the only thing that comes to mind is sometimes the point of view gets confusing. Usually you're pretty clear when you switch characters, but sometimes I have to double check to know who I'm reading. Otherwise I like your pacing and the development of their relationship. I'm looking forward to reading more. Hope this helps!

Author's Response: Hi Megan,

Thanks so much for the review and I'm glad you're enjoying this story. The feedback is really appreciated:)

Hope to hear from you again!
Augurey~


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Review #45, by Casper06 Run

14th December 2015:
i freaking love this story! you may be a new writer but you are also the only one who seems brave enough to do more than just a "one shot" harry and draco story. i check every day to see if there is a new chapter and i was almost thinking that you had abandoned this and that would have sucked because once i start reading a good story especially a romance i dont like to stop until it is finished so its almost like torture when there is no new chapter to read so PLEASE keep writing!

Author's Response: Hi Casper,

It really means alot ot read this review:) It made me excited to finish up the next chapter, which I'll be posting, so I hope you enjoy:)

I'm sorry I've been late with update but I have not abandoned this fic! Sometimes I just get in these ebbs and flows of creativity I guess.

Thanks so much for following my story!


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Review #46, by Mr Penn Cor Videt

1st December 2015:
YAY!!! Finally Dare-devil like powers. :D Or is it Captain Jack Sparrow's compass stuck inside his head:D

It's Penn btw for another review. Man this story is intriguing.

Blaise's reaction is sad but an acceptable Slytherin reaction I agree. But I love the line you wrote - all he can tastes are ashes as he swallows the bitter taste of disappointment. That was inspired.

You captured Hermione and Ron perfectly as well. Good job overall on the characterizations.

What a brilliant way to introduce Astoria Greengrass into the story. Though I have to say keeping her as a Hufflepuff might just lead to some problems for her back home. Another thing I liked is Draco's attitude through it all. It's refreshing to see him stand up against a bully and to rile him that way was genius. Deflected Greenberg's attention from poor Astoria completely.

Draco trying to kill himself... Seems slightly out of character but its ok I guess. Man has suffered a bit and for him to entertain thoughts of this variety is only an ugly truth.

Real nice job Ether. Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: I find it the highest compliment when people quote what you wrote, so thank so much for that!

Astoria isn't seen too much in this story, so she isn't fully developed in my head yet... I'm not sure what to make of her just yet. And we don't know exactly why Draco was there, but you're right, that seems like the most obvious explanation. But I did need Harry to feel convinced that Draco was trying to commit suicide, even if we can't be sure that's the case.

Thanks so much for taking the time once again:)

Ether~


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Review #47, by Mr Penn Shame

29th November 2015:
Hey it's Penn from the forums with another review and as I have agreed to do all the chapters for you, you might see a lot more of me around.

So Harry is definitely not getting any better. Its good too see though that Ginny is with him in these tough times. Though I can see some cracks beginning to appear in their relationship and that would be a major CC from the canon POV right there. Ginny stuck by him for all those years and kept her feelings for him even when he was definitely smitten by Cho Chang so for her to act this way seems just a tad bit out of character. I ain't being nosy here, it s just that I ship Hinny. But hey, its your story and you are the king.

Harry has to spend the entire year's worth of potions with Draco. Are you trying to get the poor guy to hate the subject. Draco is intent upon showing to the world that he hasn't changed, although he has come to dislike the old ways. It sometimes is easier to make people believe that you are still evil than to make them believe you might just have changed.

Don Greenberg beating the living daylights out of Draco... Again it wasn't all that unexpected when you look at it in hindsight. It is George Orwell's Animal Farm all over again. Give the victim some power over the victimizer and watch how the victim victimizes him. Real sad commentary on us humans.

Overall, it was a real good chapter Ether. Bravo.

Author's Response: While Harry seems quite angry and unapproachable at the start, I don't actually blame him! Draco isn't giving him much of a reason to think he's any different.

Um, I think you'll come to quickly see that I feel very differently towards canon Ginny. While I did like her character earlier on, the closer she got to Harry in the end, the more I came to feel their relationship was *forced. It never felt natural to me, and as a consequence, I end up not enjoying her as a character any more. But I do try to be fair to er in the story,just...ick, idk, never liked her with Harry.

Potion classes are so much fun to write 'cause it's rarely about potions, hahaha. We're just forcing two people who don't like each other yet can't help but think about each other into the same small space. Lastly, love your insight on Greenberg being a victim who is not victimizing others. Exactly what I had in mind when I wrote those early scenes.

Thanks so much for the great review. Really enjoy reading your thoughts!


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Review #48, by Mr Penn Edge of the Woods

29th November 2015:
Hey Ether, its Penn from the forums and I am here with the review I promised. Lets not waste time and dive right in...

Let's come onto the prologue first. It was a pretty cool depiction of how Malfoy's trail would have went. If you have gone through my own story, you shall see how I adore Draco and it only made sense that Harry would come to his rescue. Adding Draco's thoughts as Harry continued to berate him before the Wizengamot made for a good reading.

Oh Harry. Why should you be the hero at all times? At least take some help with you if you have to. It was bad enough that your eyesight sucks, hey now you have none.

Harry might have helped him but Draco is more or less the same towards him. Actually thats really refreshing to read. I agree that his war-time experiences would have changed Draco but most people overdo it by showing it happen too suddenly. Its nice to see that you are taking the pains to bring about that change in him slowly but surely.

All in all, I love how this story is shaping up at present. Will surely want to read ahead. Thanks for bringing it to my notice Ether.

-Penn

P.S. Please give him Daredevil-like echolocation ability. That would be so cool. Ok that's the nerd in me talking. Signing off. Pip pip

Author's Response: Hi Penn,

Thanks so much for the review! I originally didn't have the trial, but I felt it was an important addition to establish the relationship between the two. I didn't want to make them just randomly like each other, so I'm going out of my way to have slow progression towards something other than resent. :)

As for Harry having Daredevil kinda powers, well,you'll just have to wait and see!


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Review #49, by Casper06 Stealing Words

27th November 2015:
i really enjoy reading this but the chapters could definitely be longer

Author's Response: Thanks for your review:) Sorry they're a bit short, but the next chapter should be up in a couple of days!

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Review #50, by padfoot_prongs101 Stay

21st November 2015:
Agh thank you so much, I love your story to bits! Can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!!

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