Reading Reviews for Something Worth Fighting For
  
36 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Emilee Chapter 1

22nd December 2013:
This chapter was really good :)I thought I was gonna cry but I didn't so yay!:)

Author's Response: Why, thank you!! I am sorry to hear that you almost cried, but I am at least glad it touched you enough to elicit emotion! Thanks so much for leaving a review! :)

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Review #27, by TxGinny Chapter 1

22nd December 2013:
I think this is a really great start to a story and hope you update as soon as possible! Great job and keep writing!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I really am glad you liked it! Hopefully the next chapter will be up when the queue re-opens :) Merry Christmas!!

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Review #28, by Secret Santa Chapter 1

21st December 2013:
Ho, ho, ho! It's your secret santa here to spread some Christmas cheer!

I don't think that I've ever read a post-Hogwarts story before that starts immediately after the battle from Ginny's point of view, so I was interested straight away by that set up. For a first chapter (and a first story) you've done incredibly well here - it's a really interesting start, and while it wasn't exactly nice to read about how much pain and grief Ginny is dealing with, I thought you wrote it really well. Your writing style is one of the things that struck me as I read this chapter, because it's very readable and seems polished too. There's a lot of variation in your sentences and word choices which are just little things but make the story so much nicer and more enjoyable to read. This is definitely miles ahead of what my first story was, and if it hadn't been the only thing on your AP I wouldn't have realised it was your first story. So what I'm trying to say with that (in a very long-winded way, apparently) is that you've started brilliantly and your writing here is great.

What you said in your author's note is definitely right - you can't write about Ginny straight after the Battle without including the grief for Fred. I think that Ginny's grief has been captured extremely well here, and it's not an easy thing to do, so well done for that. Grief is such a difficult and complex emotion that it's hard to write about, because the process will never be the same for everybody. I liked the way that you played with that, and showed that all the different Weasleys are dealing with their grief for Fred in different ways. I can definitely imagine Molly trying to mother people even more, as if to compensate for the child that she has lost. I can also see George going one of two ways in his grief - either becoming a lifeless shell, or throwing his efforts into distracting himself from what has happened. Surprisingly, I haven't seen many stories where he does the latter so I really enjoyed reading your interpretation of his grief, and the way that he threw himself into planning the funeral so that he was out of the house and doing something. Even though a funeral is really upsetting, I was glad to see that in your story, Fred had been honoured the way he should have been - the decorations and the mentions of bright clothing really made me smile.

One of my favourite things here was that you included Percy and the way he felt about Fred dying. You managed to sum up my thoughts about that exactly, and I'm really pleased you included him because he's often excluded from stories like this, just because he was estranged from the family before the Battle.

Back to Ginny's grief - not only did you capture it really well, you managed to make me feel it too. That's such a wonderful thing to be able to do with your writing, and although I didn't enjoy feeling so upset and feeling her pain as I read the story, it's a testament to your writing ability. What struck me was the different stages that you managed to include. The build up to the funeral felt a little drawn out at times, but I think that served well to show us how Ginny felt about it, the way that she was dreading having to go. And then her fear when she couldn't cry - about what it could mean, whether it made her a bad person when everyone else in the family is able to shed tears for Fred. Finally, the way that she wasn't able to comfort George, and that she didn't know what to say. It's very believably written, and I think that her breakdown into tears at the end is kind of the culmination of all the different emotions that she's been feeling, and all of the different stresses that she's been put under recently.

There were some really powerful moments in this chapter, too. The part when you said about Fred wanting people to wear whatever they liked to his wedding, and then Ginny remembered that he would never have a wedding - it's the exact same realisation that hits me when I re-read the last book, and I end up sobbing at that as well. Including things like that helped make this chapter much more believable, because those are the realisations when grief hits you the most, I think, and they're the hardest to deal with.

Your attention to detail was amazing, too. I'd never thought about this before really but when Ginny went out to fly on the broom without telling anybody, I wasn't expecting her whole family to be worried. But of course they've spent so long living in fear and suspicion that it must be incredibly hard to forget that mindset and move to one where someone not being in their bed naturally means that something bad has happened to them. It's another aspect to the grief I think, as well, especially as far as Molly's concerned, because she can't bear to lose another child, so not knowing where Ginny is must be absolutely terrifying.

The ending was so sweet! I think it was a great way to end the chapter, and the contrast worked nicely with the rest of the story. The whole chapter has been a tumult of emotion for both the reader and for Ginny, but the reader has a definite advantage - we've known throughout that Harry isn't just there because of Fred's funeral, and that he does care about Ginny and love her. The fact that she was also dealing with that, and her fears about him leaving her, on top of the grief and all the other emotions she's feeling after the Battle must have made things truly awful for her. I loved the chance to see Harry supporting her and being there for her at the end of this chapter, and that Ginny realises now he's going to stick around.

This was a brilliant first chapter, and a very well done!

Merry Christmas!

-Secret Santa

Author's Response: Hello there, Santa! He he he

Thank you so much for all your kind words and praises, it really does mean a lot to me.

As far as capturing the characters and their grief, I really am pleased to hear that you thought that was done well. I really wish I could say that I had meditated for hours over each character to logically determine what each of them would do with their grief… but to be completely honest, it all just somehow came to me… I just knew what each character would do. Now, hopefully that’s a testament to my love for JK’s characters, and not a mark against my logic as a writer… either way, I am glad that it somehow turned out okay.

I am also very glad to hear that you were touched by reading Ginny’s grief over Fred. Obviously, Fred’s death is difficult for all of us to deal with, but it is good to know that I somehow managed to do justice to that grief in my writing, especially as it was from the perspective of a close family member. As sad as it is, I am also glad that the deep sorrow may be felt by those reading about it.

Most of all, I am so glad that the ending came across the right way! It’s so important to me that Harry and Ginny’s relationship is maintained with respect to the way that JK wrote it. This is obviously very difficult, as we got to see so little between them, but I am relieved to hear that it seemed genuine 

I really cannot thank you enough for all of your kind words and helpful comments. Thanks so much for taking the time to give me some feedback! You are an awesome Santa!

I hope you are having an amazing holiday season!


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Review #29, by Meri113 Chapter 1

20th December 2013:
I have to say that this is one of the best post-Hogwarts stories that I have read so far. I've been looking for one from this time period, especially one concentrating on Ginny/Harry and I'm so happy I found this. I love your writing; I think you really captured the characters personalities, especially Ginny's, George's, and Percy's. I love the part where Percy comforts George, and the thoughts that Ginny has concerning how he might be feeling, considering he was present when Fred was killed. I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. Thank you for writing this. love it

Author's Response: Why, thank you so much! I'm am so so glad to hear you enjoyed it! I, as well, had difficultly finding a good Post-Hogwarts fic centered around Harry/Ginny... so writing this just seemed like the obvious choice to me :P I really am so glad you liked it and I do truly hope you keep reading :) The next chapter will hopefully be up when the queue re-opens :D Merry Christmas!

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Review #30, by Courtney Dark Chapter 1

5th December 2013:
Hey there!

Okay, so you said in your request that you wanted a lot of constructive criticism but I'll tell you now: I am going to seriously struggle to find any for you, because this first chapter was absolutely amazing! I am already hooked and want to read more! You asked whether I thought the story was engaging - yes, yes, yes! It definitely is! I have always been super interested in this time period, but it is rare to find a really good canon story set almost straight after the Battle of Hogwarts - and it looks like I've just found one!

Personally, I don't think the paragraph size looks intimidating at all, because to me that shows that you have put a lot of detail and thought into this chapter, that you have included plenty of imagery and emotions. So I wouldn't worry about it all, although you may get a few reviewers claiming the paragraphs are too long.

Okay, now onto the actual chapter!

I loved Fred. I really did, and my heart breaks every time I remember that he's dead. I think you showed the character's grief extraordinarily well in this chapter. I don't even have words to describe how well I think you wrote it. I was actually tearing up in the cemetery scene and when you described the way George was sitting huddled up, tears streaming down his face, I just wanted to burst into tears.

Another bit of this chapter that struck me was how you included Fred's comment: all wear what you like because every time I read DH all I think is "but he'll never get a wedding, so it makes me unbelievably happy (and super said at the same time) that you also thought about this.

You wrote both the funeral and graveyard scenes really well. I found myself both smiling and almost dying of sadness, which I reckon is a pretty good combination. I think it makes complete sense that Ginny didn't cry, and then worried about why she wasn't crying like the rest of the family. To me, this seems very in-character, as Ginny has always been the sort of person who has tried to stay strong for the people around her, who tries not to show her weaknesses, as she is the only girl in the family. So I think you have portrayed her personality really well so far.

Another bit I loved (sorry, this review is getting very long and waffly, but I just enjoyed it so much!) was the bit when George bent down by Fred's grave and let out a howl of pain, and then Percy knelt down beside him. It was just so well written - from Ginny's thoughts about how Percy was there when Fred died, to the way you described George's behavior...I felt a bit like I was reading JK Rowling's work.

Okay, you asked for constructive criticism so I'm going to stop squeeing for a few moments and try desperately to find some...

Hmm, one comment I could make is that I was very disappointed with Harry not showing up to go to the funeral with the Weasley's. I guess that's not really constructive criticism as I'm sure he's going through his own stuff, but to me it just feels like Harry would want to be there, with Ron and Ginny and the rest of the Weasley's, in that time of grief. But that is me being super picky.

There were also a couple of typos and spelling errors scattered throughout the chapter, but there was nothing too distracting, and they can easily be fixed up with a quick edit.

Awesome first chapter! I'm already looking forward to the second!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello!

First of all, I want to say thank you for all of your kind words! I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, if that's even possible :D

I also had a hard time writing about Fred's death. I think each HP lover had a special relationship with Fred and therefore had a very difficult time dealing with his death. I'm sure this was done on purpose by JKR, genius that she is, just to emphasize the tragedy that the war truly was. In my mind, dealing with the loss of Fred was by far the most important thing in any Post-Battle of Hogwarts fic, so I am so glad to hear that it elicited the right emotions.

I cannot agree with you more about Fred at the wedding, it made me so happy to read what you wrote! Literally every time I read DH (which admittedly is maybe too many times) I just cry inwardly when he talks about his wedding. This again was undoubtedly planned by JKR... That evil genius...

Speaking of which, I can honestly think of no higher praise than "I felt a bit like I was reading JK Rowling's work"... I'm pretty sure I actually teared up at that. I don't think my work could possibly be compared to her writing but I am so happy to think that I am even coming close to that!

For some reason when I was writing the cemetery scene, I just knew how George would be acting, and I don't think there was ever a question in my mind as to who would be the one to comfort him. Though we all may find it hard to sympathize with him at times, Percy's story seemed second only to George's.. what with his only recently mended bridges and whatnot.

As far as Harry not going with the Weasley's to the funeral, I think I will address the reasons for that in the next chapter. It does seem out of character, and I had played with a couple different ideas before writing that scene, but for some reason I felt like it would be more dramatic that way... /:

Thank you so so so much for taking time to write such a kind and helpful review, it really does mean so much to me :D

Christy


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Review #31, by ReeBee Chapter 1

4th December 2013:
Hi there! Im here with your requested review! :) I know u wanted a lot of CC, so I'll try to be as nit-picky as possible.

Okay, this is a very nice start. Everyone loves a bit of drama and angst :) it's written quite well: it's a bit like you are unsure, but that will improve as you write more. The flow is also stilted a bit- but it's in a way that will only improve with practise and as u get to know your character better.

There are also quite a few typos and grammatical errors. I would suggest a thorough read through or finding a beta reader. You can find a proper beta (for your whole story), or a quick beta (for a single chapter). This is in the help offered section of the archives :)

And also, don't be afraid to use your creative license :) that sounded so odd, but u get what I'm saying :) instead of, "I turned around to see him" you could say, "I turned around to meet a kind green eyed gaze. Harry." That was a terrible example, but u get what I'm saying :) (hopefully).

I also think that the first scene when Ginny goes to fly can be developed a bit more :) thisc. An be done with more dialogue or cutting down the description. On that note, the story doesn't look intimidating :) it's fine!

Actually, I think the whole chapter would be better with a bit more dialogue :) there was a lot of amazing description (so jealous of your skills, btw), but a bit more dialogue in some places would be good :)

One more thing, I think the funeral scene (especially with the coffin lowering, etc.) can use a bit more description of the actual events. I know it's heartbreaking, but that would help smoothen the flow :)

I'm sorry if that sounded negative, it was really good! And I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. That was depth that I would usually reserve for beta reading, but hopefully that helped u :)

Feel free to rerequest :)

- ReeBee

Author's Response: ReeBee,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful critique! You were not harsh at all, I am glad to get some helpful CC, because that's the only way I can get better :D

Most of what you said was very true, and were actually things that had come to my mind. For example, the lack of dialogue in some scenes and lack of detailed events in others. So it's great to get some reassurance on what I can do better next time.

I will take these tips to heart and make sure they are in the forefront of my mind as I continue writing :)

I really cannot thank you enough for your help!


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Review #32, by LightLeviosa5443 Chapter 1

2nd December 2013:
Hi! Before I leave this review I just want to say thanks for posting a request in my thread and I'm certainly favouriting this story!

So you said your area's of concern were the plot and how engaging the story is: You don't have to worry about that. From the second I started reading this chapter, I didn't want to stop. I get distracted really easily, and I plowed right through this one, so great job.

Another AoC was paragraph size. I love larger paragraphs. I would rather read a story with full sized paragraphs than one with smaller paragraphs. When you read a book you don't get three or four sentences per paragraph. You get like 6-10. So bravo on that.

I only have one correction for spelling/grammar:

- In the second paragraph you say "Relishing the raw feel of grass on her bare feet..." I think you meant to say the word feeling rather than feel. Just thought I'd point that one out.

Now for praise!

I absolutely loved this chapter. I don't think you have to apologize for it being depressing. A lot of people can relate to funerals and grief and I think your start to the story was perfect. I like that you show everyone being upset. You show all stages of grief as well. From Ginny who hadn't fully hit it, to George who was beyond consolation because there is no consolation for him.

I love how Hermione seems like a rock, and then is the first to fully fall apart, and the fact that her and Ron have each other is just perfection. I love that you've kept them a unit, I've seen a lot of stories tear them apart, and I kind of hate it.

I also enjoyed how you planted that seed of doubt in Ginny's mind. Her state of mind is so fragile at that point, that I think her worrying about Harry on top of everything is actually quite perfect.

I find that the way you've written this makes everything and everyone so relatable and so open that you can really feel how Ginny, George, Molly, Ron, Hermione, Harry, just everyone feels.

It was a brilliant chapter and I can't wait to read more!

Hope I helped you out!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hello!! Thank you so much for your review! Every time I get one, I truly feel like it's Christmas morning :) so thank you for that!

I am so glad you liked my first chapter! The most important thing to me, by far, was that my story was entertaining (obviously) and as close to "impossible to set down" as I could make it. So I am obviously glad it held your attention :)

Thank you so much on your re-assurance regarding my paragraph size, I have gained some much needed resolve on that :)

I would especially like to thank you for your grammar catch! I have fixed that in my original document and, if I ever get around to editing old chapters, I will be sure that that sentence is corrected!

Last but certainly not least, thank you so much for your wonderful praises! I am so glad you were able to see all the little things I was trying to put into the characters.

I cannot thank you enough for your time and truly valuable help!!!
Christy


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Review #33, by marauderfan Chapter 1

2nd December 2013:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review, and again I'm so sorry for missing it!

Regarding the beginning, I dont think the large chunks of paragraph are too off-putting, theyre a pretty normal sized descriptive paragraph. What matters is that you start off with something strong, and I think Ginnys reflections on the battle of Hogwarts certainly count for that.

I think your descriptions of Ginnys jealousy are really good. I could see her being a little jealous and distrustful of people after the war, what with Harry being even more famous, and Ginny was the one who liked him from the beginning.

Aw, that line killed me about Ginny reflecting on what Fred had said at the wedding, and then how he never got to have his own :( Youve written the grief of the family really well though. And I love that despite that pain, theyre all wearing bright colours. I agree that seems perfect for Fred! The scene at the burial and its aftermath was really heart wrenching. I totally feel for Ginny, about not knowing what to say in those situations, Im the same way. As sad as it is to start out a story reading about Freds death, its a good point to start a post-Hogwarts fic because thatd pretty much be the most important thing in the Weasleys lives at the moment, more than watching the wizarding world rebuild.

It makes a lot of sense that Ginny and Harry had doubts about each other after that they did sort of leave off on an unfinished note at the beginning of DH. Im glad they made up at the end there. That will make it a lot easier for both of them to get through it.

There were a few things I think you could do to improve the flow of the writing. A lot of the sentences begin the same way (with a verb clause). For example, all of the sentences in the paragraph that begins with "Deciding it was time for some fresh air...". To mix it up a little, you can rearrange a few of the sentences so it starts with the subject instead ("Ginny walked..."). The variety in sentence structure will help it flow better.

And now for a specific (kind of picky) thing: Ginny knew she just wanted to somehow make everything better I think would be useful to replace she with Mrs Weasley, otherwise it sounds like the she is Ginny. Lastly, there were also a few lines of dialogue or sentences that were missing a full stop at the end, which fortunately is very easy to fix!

I think this is a really good start! Youve done well at writing a very emotional beginning to the story, and I look forward to seeing where you take it. Nice job :)

Author's Response: Well hi there! Thank you soo much for your review!

I really appreciate your advice on the paragraph size because that had really been worrying me, so it's a relief to have gained some peace of mind on that. And I'm really glad you liked the way I started it, as I did really want something attention catching.

I'm also glad that you were able to really capture Ginny the way I was imagining her. It was really important to me that people understood how she was feeling and where her head was at, so it's really nice to know that you understood not only that, but just the essence of this chapter so well :) that is truly a blessing!

As for the grammar tips, I will most definitely keep those in mind. I would agree with you that, at times, I tend to fall into a rut as far as my writing style is concerned, so I am always happy to get any advice on how to fix it.

Again, thank you so much for the feedback, I truly hope you all enjoy the chapters to come :D


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Review #34, by MrsKatieGrint Chapter 1

2nd December 2013:
Hey there! KatieRoo from the forums here with your review!

Okay, wow. This was seriously such a great start. You seemed to have everything laid out, and its just beautiful.

Your descriptions are wonderful. And your flow just seems so natural. I think this is such an engaging beginning, and I know I can't wait for more.

The emotion surrounding Ginny and Harry is really realistic too. Its just so smooth, but definitely believable.

I think you did a great job writing about Fred's funeral. It was bittersweet.

All in all, I think this was a really superb chapter, and I think your insecurities should just disappear because this is wonderful!

Author's Response: Katie!
Thank you so much for your kind words :D I hope I can keep creating an interesting story for you and I truly do hope you continue to read and enjoy it in the future :D
THANK SO MUCH
Christy


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Review #35, by Lady Asphodel Chapter 1

2nd December 2013:
No need to be sorry! You're delivery for the first chapter was absolutely brilliant!


Let me tell you, I was writing chapter one of a post-hogwarts fic myself from the NaNo(through Harry's POV) though I'm starting to think that maybe I should leave the writing to professionals like you. :D


This was absolutely amazing! I... I... Even though it's the first chapter - I have to say it has become the number 1 top list of great post-battle fics ever!!! ^_^


I look forward to reading more! Update soon please! ♥


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Aww shucks, you're making me blush!
Thank you so much for the feedback, I am always way more excited than I should be to get a review! I am truly glad you like it :D Chapter 2 is on the way :)


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Review #36, by toomanycurls Chapter 1

1st December 2013:
Hello!!

Just leaving you a quick review.

This chapter is a great intro for your story. You really capture Ginny's grief in a believable way. I could see her wanting to run off and fly as an escape to the overwhelming emotions of that time. I liked how you started weaving in her jealousy/possessiveness when it comes to Harry. I especially liked her assumption that women were now throwing themselves at him.

The funeral was very sad! I'm not sure if wizards would meet in a church for a funeral, but that's not a story stopping detail. I do like what McGonagall said regarding Fred. I can imagine Ginny's numbness at the funeral. I've seen that where people closest to the deceased are hardly crying because they'll be grieving for the rest of their life, not just at the service.

There were two lines I loved from the chapter that could be in the summary:
I thought of you every day I was gone, I used to take out the map and just watch your dot, wishing that you knew I was thinking of you, and that by some miracle, you were thinking of me too

or

" I know that I failed you, even if we both knew why it had to be that way. But even still, I never dreamt that there was any way you didnt know, that you didnt somehow feel it"

-Rose

Author's Response: Ahh!! You're review literally just made my day!! I'm so excited to be getting some feedback :) I will take all these suggestions and comments under advisement! Thanks so much!

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