Reading Reviews for Hormones
649 Reviews Found

Review #51, by lhod23 On the Prowl

27th October 2015:
I literally giggled through this entire chapter. Everything was just too stinking cute

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Review #52, by N On the Prowl

26th October 2015:
CANT.DEAL. this was perfect and you're wonderful

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Review #53, by <3 On the Prowl

26th October 2015:
AWw Jollie is back together

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Review #54, by Lisa On the Prowl

26th October 2015:
So I'm emberassingly squeling right now at the thought of daddy!Fred

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Review #55, by Sunshine&Daisies On the Prowl

26th October 2015:
Great chapter! I can believe the story is almost over..
I also love the Lily II/OC idea btw! There are not enough Lily stories out there.

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Review #56, by madness On the Prowl

25th October 2015:

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Review #57, by Reggie On the Prowl

25th October 2015:
So I checked hpff this morning for the first time in a couple months to catch up on all your stories and I loved the new keeper's daughter chapter so much that I had to check hpff again to see how often you were posting and you had posted another chapter! Really great day!

I still love your writing so much. I am so so excited for Ryan to get back on the broom and for Ollie to be figuring out her priorities and for Fred to be fathering!! You do not have a single poorly written character in any story. I am super into popular Victorie and secretly popular Teddy. That story definitely has a different vibe than the others but I think it is going great places. Especially since I believe Hufflepuffs and all kind people deserve way more credit and I am excited for you to tackle that.

I am also majorly loving where Gee's story is at right now (just realized there are a lot of girls named after George floating around). Matteo and the injury was bumming me out a bit for a while there and I was waiting for the good stuff to start. And absolutely nothing is as good as post-quidditch make outs and returning model ex-girlfriends.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm still a HUGE fan and I'm super excited that you are writing an original fic; I know it will be wonderful! Also so grateful that you haven't given up on any of these stories and are still working on more new ideas!

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Review #58, by ABookishBeing On the Prowl

25th October 2015:
We need the Lily II/OC. Please.
With Fryan and Jollie, I do not think I will be sane for the next few days. Ollie's a good one. Angelina's a great one. You're a fantastic one. Thank you for your stories; we love them!

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Review #59, by Aubs A Better Brother than Roxanne

14th October 2015:

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Review #60, by Guest At the Shop

5th October 2015:
If it was possible to love George Weasley more than already due to the series, it is NOW!! Oh god..I love his character and I was just smiling the entire time..He is really the ultimate father as Freddo would out. Amazingly well written!

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Review #61, by Guest Wants, Needs, and Escapes

5th October 2015:
I am in love with Fred and George's bond!! Reminds me of Fred I too..George is so hilarious and amazing. Also, James and Fred are shown as close as siblings and best friends.The story is amazing and very gripping.

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Review #62, by Guest I Remember When

4th October 2015:
I have just started reading your stories.. I have read Breaking the Quidditch Code and absolutely loved it..and this seems amazing too!! I loved this chapter. I really love Frames bond and the way Rose is portrayed..very different from only being a Bookworm! Waiting to reaahead eagerly

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Review #63, by TreacleTart I Remember When

18th September 2015:
Hi there!

Back for chapter two!

Freddie seems to really have himself in a pickle here. He's pissed off Ryan and Gemma and from the sounds of it Ryan plans on making his life miserable. I wonder if she'll sabotage his relationship with Annie once she realizes that he has a thing for her.

I was really sad to hear about Roxanne and Freddie's relationship. I can't imagine why being in a different house would suddenly make Roxanne so cold towards Freddie. Maybe she was worried he was disappointed in her or maybe she felt like she wanted to be her own person? Either way it's a shame that she basically ignores him. I don't think that's very fair of her.

The scene where Freddie is filling in the paperwork and Annie interrupts him is sweet. She seems so kind and she seems to think about him almost as much as he thinks about her. I feel like they're supposed to be together, but I have a feeling that Ryan is going to mess that up for him.

One thing that I really like it that you haven't made either James or Fred a natural talent at Quidditch. They're good, but it's because they practice. Far too often I see James written as this Quidditch savant. I like the idea of him doing something different than playing Quidditch.

Since your summary implies that Davies is pregnant, I'm curious about when that bombshell will be dropped. I mean it sounds like she and Freddie hooked up several months ago, so pretty soon it's going to be pretty obvious. You can only hide a growing stomach for so long.

Since Ryan seems to hate Freddie so much, I also wonder what's going to happen when she finds out and how she's going to deal with telling him. I'm kind of excited to see it all from his perspective since pregnancy fics are almost exclusively from the female point of view.

Once again, your writing was smooth and polished. I could follow along with all of the different scenes with no confusion.

I did notice one small typo.

Molly turned around from in front of eyes, eyes on fire Ė in front of him?

All in all, I'm finding this to be a pleasant read so far. Good job!


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Review #64, by TreacleTart Letís Start at the Beginning

18th September 2015:
Hi there!

I'm making an effort to review all of the Dobby nominated stories and that led me here. Congratulations on your nomination!

I have to be quite honest and tell you that humor is a genre that I hardly ever read and that's mainly because I rarely ever find good humor fics. Based on the love that your story got in the nominations round, I'm hoping that this will change it for me. :D

Ryan Davies sounds pretty ferocious in the beginning of this chapter. Fred must've really screwed up royally if she's chasing him through the school and attempting to break down the door of the bathroom. When I finally found out why she was so upset, it seemed like she had the right to be pretty mad.

I like the dynamic that you've built between Fred and James. I often see them written as best friends, almost similar to Fred and George, but you've really done a great job of showing us exactly how deep their bond is. I love that you pointed out that even girlfriends don't get in the way of their relationship. That is a true bromance right there.

It really seems like Fred has a thing for Allie. The way he talks about her and the little thoughts he has when she's speaking show that she creeps into his mind more than just a little bit. It seems like he realizes it too, but for whatever reason he isn't really pursuing it.

Rose's coaching philosophy was quite unusual. It seems strange that she would pick the weaker of the two players or admit that one Keeper was better, but than chose the one who missed two goals. I'm really curious why she did it that way.

It was nice towards the end to sort of get a glimpse of all the Next Gen favorites. Albus and Scorpius in Ravenclaw was a unique little twist. I'm not sure I've seen that scenario so far. I really liked all of the interactions between the cousins and the snarky commentary. James thoughts about Scorpius were pretty amusing too. I wonder why he hates him so much. Is he really a git or is it because of family drama?

From a technical standpoint, your writing was really good in this. Everything was clear and concise and easy to follow. The characters are well thought out and I didn't really notice much in the way of structural issues.

I did pick up one tiny little typo, but it is really small.

and it bloody needed cut, - needed a cut

All in all, good start to the story! I'll be back for chapter two in a bit.


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Review #65, by Penelope Inkwell A Plan of Action

16th September 2015:
I moved my chin to my palm, propping my elbow onto the desk in amusement.
--I like how this paralleled that time that time in the movie when Harry and Ginny were kissing and George is just casually chilling there, sipping his tea. :D

Molly mentioned something in her letter to Percy that you and her are getting on quite well.

So youíre blackmailing her.

--I love how he's so quick on the uptake. George knows the deal.

Oh, Freddie, you do not need a pygmy puff. That's a pet. The last thing you need now is more responsibility. Let's start with the kid and work our way up, yeah?

Still, I can understand the sentiment. Sometimes you just want something warm and cuddly. Maybe he can borrow a Pygmy Puff. A temporary cuddle buddy.

Heaven knows he won't be getting much cuddling from Ryan anytime soon.


He was quiet, but we caught him explode over a magic version of Exploding Snap.
--should probably be either, "we saw him explode" or "we caught him exploding." And I don't think you need to say "a magic version" of Exploding Snap--I'm pretty sure that it is already a magical game.

Other than the fact that it was Andrew and he was generally annoying when it came to people I could tolerate, he wasnít a bad guy.
--I think there should be a comma before when

Well, this will be challenging.

Ryan's gonna kill Freddie. Gemma's gonna kill Freddie. Albus is gonna kill Freddie.

The road ahead looks rough.

Still, I think things will turn out eventually.

Good job with creating believable characters and realistic dynamics. Freddie is a cute, fun narrator, and I'm curious to know what's underneath all Ryan's ice.

Congratulations again on your Dobby nomination(s)! And good work!


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Review #66, by Penelope Inkwell Wants, Needs, and Escapes

16th September 2015:
Hey there!

I felt like Fred's train of thought after James had left was really good. All of the things he struggled with seemed really realistic and his thoughts seemed suited to his character and his situation.

Honestly, I'm terrified for when Gemma finds out. There was something so ominous about it. And, I mean, Ryan was violent, but sometimes we aren't nearly as protective of ourselves as our best friends are. Freddie better watch out

In every situation, I could turn to my dad for help. Girls, coming-of-age-boy-things, joke products, classes, anything. I could always get his opinion. He would always tell me what he thought. Honestly. Even when he thought the class was dumb and I should go get ice cream instead.
--I really like the way you're expanding on George and Freddie's relationship. It's clear that there's some difficulty there, some frustration, but George is still a good dad. I can see him being just like that--honest, without all the beating around the bush that most parents do. I feel like he would encourage his kids to be themselves. And I think his hand-up about not wanting to change Wheezes are pretty realistic to. The desire to freeze everything, to not change something that Fred had had input on...I get that. He will need to move forward, eventually, but I can see why he's stuck.


Mostly candy, even though I knew he hated the idea for candy that wasnít extremely magical almost as much as he hated the renovation idea.
--I think it might flow better to say "the idea of candy" instead of "the idea for candy".

Gryffindor tie that needed ironed.
--this should probably either be "that needed to be ironed," or "that needed ironing."

Hopefully Freddie gets to tell someone soon. That's a heavy load to carry. And poor Annie! I hope she doesn't get in too deep.


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Review #67, by Penelope Inkwell Straight-Laced

16th September 2015:
The library also had all of the boring books. Rows and rows and impossible rows of thick, hardcover books in navy and beige hues that I couldnít tell the difference between. Gold embossing on the side. Come on.
--this reminds me of my college's library. It was a great place if you needed info for a paper (yeah, I was old-fashioned and used real books), but just looking at so many dry, beige colored, boring old books could be kind of draining. I never went unless I needed to, either.

Dad and I had a complicated relationship.
--man, that was very well conveyed. That whole letter is like a minefield. You did a good job with that. Although poor Neville. He's a war hero--lay off, George :p

I do not think George is gonna be successful with that attitude, if he's trying to convince the villagers that he has their best interests at heart. It's really interesting what you've done with his voice! It's like he still has that jokester tone, but there's a bitterness behind it that makes it all fall a little flat. It's sad, but quite well done.

Aww, I love the image of George carrying baby!Fred on his shoulders in the garden, being a dinosaur. That is so cute! It's nice how you show that their family life is complicated; it's not just one way or another. They have real difficulties, and they've had good times and strong connections.

It's sad about what's happened between Roxy and Fred, though. I really hope that they reconcile.

Fred. Fred. How do you ask a girl out for milkshakes and not think it's a date. Seriously?

- ďYou think Iíd fit in with my brother?Ē James asked with a cheeky smile. He pulled out his book and put on a serious expression. The answer to the equation of true love is the symbol of pie added to a gazillion.Ē

- ďIíll get the blue and gray.Ē

--this was some cute back and forth.


Ryan was going through the rows of the books, tip of her pointer grazing the spines.
--should that be "pointer finger" instead of pointer? Or does she have some sort of library assistant magical alternative to a laser pointer?

He likes things the way him and Uncle Fred put them.
--this might just be reflecting Fred's way of talking, which obviously doesn't have to be grammatically correct. So, if that's the case, no worries. But technically, I believe it ought to be "the way he and Uncle Fred put them."

ďIíll get the blue and gray.Ē
--I had noticed you mention this before, and I was a bit confused, because Ravenclaw's colors are blue and bronze?

Another entertaining chapter! Nice work!


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Review #68, by Penelope Inkwell Letís Start at the Beginning

16th September 2015:
Hello, me again, checking out the Dobby nominations. More congratulations to you! :D

Many, Ryan Davies is a scary girl. I guess you can tell that Fred is a Gryffindor just by the fact that he was brave enough to open the door. Or that might have just been stupid. I wouldn't have advised it. Although he seems to have thought charm would get him out of it, so perhaps he usually can talk his way out of these messes.

Not this one, though. Ryan might be scary but, given the circumstances, who could blame her.

Rose is definitely an interesting character. I'm enjoying her crazy coaching tactics.


He had his dadís hair and it bloody needed cut,
--this might flow better as "needed cutting", or "needed it cut".

And, unfortunately, sending a couple people to the hospital.
--it seems like this should be "hospital wing" rather than hospital.

As an opening chapter, this definitely keeps me curious for more, and it's a good intro to the main players. Nice work!


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Review #69, by HeyMrsPotter A Plan of Action

13th September 2015:
Oh no, Annie and Andrew? What is she doing?! This whole story just makes me think 'poor Freddie', and want to hug him.

So Ryan's keeping the baby? I feel like there are going to be a lot more poor Freddie moments in the future when he has to tell his family, and Annie!


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Review #70, by HeyMrsPotter Wants, Needs, and Escapes

13th September 2015:
James and I were still kids. We still got sweets for our birthdays. I love that this is the definition of being a kid! :')

Oh my poor heart is breaking for Freddie now. Though the parent in me is all WHY DIDN'T YOU USE PROTECTION YOU SILLY CHILDREN?! It's so awful that things were going so well for him with Quidditch and school and Annie and then BOOM pregnant Ryan! I hope that if he doesn tell Annie that she's as nice as I think she is and she'll be okay about it.

Another great chapter!


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Review #71, by HeyMrsPotter Straight-Laced

13th September 2015:
Oh my goodness, I wasn't expecting the heartbreak that came with the beginning of this chapter. The idea of my darling George still suffering so much all of those years later, while totoally believable, still makes me so sad! It's natural he wouldn't want to make too many changes to the shop, since he and Fred started it together.

It was good to finally find out how Fred and Ryan had gone from pretty much strangers to sleeping together. Alcohol has so much to answer for!

George's letter sounded perfectly George, exactly how I'd imagine him being as a parent. I loved the line about Roxanne's use of swimmingly :p

And the milkshake/date was so adorable! Loved James' teasing about it :D


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Review #72, by HeyMrsPotter I Remember When

13th September 2015:
Me again.

I liked the balance of serious and funny you had here. I really felt for Fred when you wrote about him feeling replaced by Scorpius, I did like that he and Roxanne weren't put into the same houses though.

There are some brilliant laugh out loud moments in this chapter, your ability to write humour is fantastic. I loved all of the comments about Ryan that were making Fred blush, I think maybe he's hoping for a repeat performance!


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Review #73, by HeyMrsPotter Letís Start at the Beginning

13th September 2015:
Hey! I'm back for more of my crazy Dobby quest. Congratulations on being nominated for another story!

This is such a hilarious way to begin a story! I love that I've been thrown straight into the action with Fred Weasley being punched in the face by a girl. Brilliant.

I like that you've gone a bit off to usual path with the dynamics and personalities of the next gen kids. James and Fred's friendship is something I'm loving already, and I'm fully appreciative of their ideas for WWW. I also really like Rose's personality, she's far more like Ron than a mini bookish Hermione. Much more fun!

Great start.


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Review #74, by ruby_slippers A Better Brother than Roxanne

11th September 2015:
Poor James, he's a good sort he'll figure it out.

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Review #75, by Chloe A Better Brother than Roxanne

9th September 2015:
I adore this chapter as always. i love the freddie/ryan thing i genuinely didnt think it was gonna happen.what i loved most was the james/ollie break up. I really didnt like ollie i dont think she deserved james the way she acts its like shes doing exactly that acting i dont think anyone knows the real her because she changes around everyone but im really glad james broke up with her not the other way around it shows real character development. Cant wait for the next chapter 😊

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