Reading Reviews for Hormones
622 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Penelope Inkwell A Plan of Action

16th September 2015:
I moved my chin to my palm, propping my elbow onto the desk in amusement.
--I like how this paralleled that time that time in the movie when Harry and Ginny were kissing and George is just casually chilling there, sipping his tea. :D

Molly mentioned something in her letter to Percy that you and her are getting on quite well.

So you’re blackmailing her.

--I love how he's so quick on the uptake. George knows the deal.

Oh, Freddie, you do not need a pygmy puff. That's a pet. The last thing you need now is more responsibility. Let's start with the kid and work our way up, yeah?

Still, I can understand the sentiment. Sometimes you just want something warm and cuddly. Maybe he can borrow a Pygmy Puff. A temporary cuddle buddy.

Heaven knows he won't be getting much cuddling from Ryan anytime soon.


He was quiet, but we caught him explode over a magic version of Exploding Snap.
--should probably be either, "we saw him explode" or "we caught him exploding." And I don't think you need to say "a magic version" of Exploding Snap--I'm pretty sure that it is already a magical game.

Other than the fact that it was Andrew and he was generally annoying when it came to people I could tolerate, he wasn’t a bad guy.
--I think there should be a comma before when

Well, this will be challenging.

Ryan's gonna kill Freddie. Gemma's gonna kill Freddie. Albus is gonna kill Freddie.

The road ahead looks rough.

Still, I think things will turn out eventually.

Good job with creating believable characters and realistic dynamics. Freddie is a cute, fun narrator, and I'm curious to know what's underneath all Ryan's ice.

Congratulations again on your Dobby nomination(s)! And good work!


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Review #27, by Penelope Inkwell Wants, Needs, and Escapes

16th September 2015:
Hey there!

I felt like Fred's train of thought after James had left was really good. All of the things he struggled with seemed really realistic and his thoughts seemed suited to his character and his situation.

Honestly, I'm terrified for when Gemma finds out. There was something so ominous about it. And, I mean, Ryan was violent, but sometimes we aren't nearly as protective of ourselves as our best friends are. Freddie better watch out

In every situation, I could turn to my dad for help. Girls, coming-of-age-boy-things, joke products, classes, anything. I could always get his opinion. He would always tell me what he thought. Honestly. Even when he thought the class was dumb and I should go get ice cream instead.
--I really like the way you're expanding on George and Freddie's relationship. It's clear that there's some difficulty there, some frustration, but George is still a good dad. I can see him being just like that--honest, without all the beating around the bush that most parents do. I feel like he would encourage his kids to be themselves. And I think his hand-up about not wanting to change Wheezes are pretty realistic to. The desire to freeze everything, to not change something that Fred had had input on...I get that. He will need to move forward, eventually, but I can see why he's stuck.


Mostly candy, even though I knew he hated the idea for candy that wasn’t extremely magical almost as much as he hated the renovation idea.
--I think it might flow better to say "the idea of candy" instead of "the idea for candy".

Gryffindor tie that needed ironed.
--this should probably either be "that needed to be ironed," or "that needed ironing."

Hopefully Freddie gets to tell someone soon. That's a heavy load to carry. And poor Annie! I hope she doesn't get in too deep.


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Review #28, by Penelope Inkwell Straight-Laced

16th September 2015:
The library also had all of the boring books. Rows and rows and impossible rows of thick, hardcover books in navy and beige hues that I couldn’t tell the difference between. Gold embossing on the side. Come on.
--this reminds me of my college's library. It was a great place if you needed info for a paper (yeah, I was old-fashioned and used real books), but just looking at so many dry, beige colored, boring old books could be kind of draining. I never went unless I needed to, either.

Dad and I had a complicated relationship.
--man, that was very well conveyed. That whole letter is like a minefield. You did a good job with that. Although poor Neville. He's a war hero--lay off, George :p

I do not think George is gonna be successful with that attitude, if he's trying to convince the villagers that he has their best interests at heart. It's really interesting what you've done with his voice! It's like he still has that jokester tone, but there's a bitterness behind it that makes it all fall a little flat. It's sad, but quite well done.

Aww, I love the image of George carrying baby!Fred on his shoulders in the garden, being a dinosaur. That is so cute! It's nice how you show that their family life is complicated; it's not just one way or another. They have real difficulties, and they've had good times and strong connections.

It's sad about what's happened between Roxy and Fred, though. I really hope that they reconcile.

Fred. Fred. How do you ask a girl out for milkshakes and not think it's a date. Seriously?

- “You think I’d fit in with my brother?” James asked with a cheeky smile. He pulled out his book and put on a serious expression. The answer to the equation of true love is the symbol of pie added to a gazillion.”

- “I’ll get the blue and gray.”

--this was some cute back and forth.


Ryan was going through the rows of the books, tip of her pointer grazing the spines.
--should that be "pointer finger" instead of pointer? Or does she have some sort of library assistant magical alternative to a laser pointer?

He likes things the way him and Uncle Fred put them.
--this might just be reflecting Fred's way of talking, which obviously doesn't have to be grammatically correct. So, if that's the case, no worries. But technically, I believe it ought to be "the way he and Uncle Fred put them."

“I’ll get the blue and gray.”
--I had noticed you mention this before, and I was a bit confused, because Ravenclaw's colors are blue and bronze?

Another entertaining chapter! Nice work!


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Review #29, by Penelope Inkwell Let’s Start at the Beginning

16th September 2015:
Hello, me again, checking out the Dobby nominations. More congratulations to you! :D

Many, Ryan Davies is a scary girl. I guess you can tell that Fred is a Gryffindor just by the fact that he was brave enough to open the door. Or that might have just been stupid. I wouldn't have advised it. Although he seems to have thought charm would get him out of it, so perhaps he usually can talk his way out of these messes.

Not this one, though. Ryan might be scary but, given the circumstances, who could blame her.

Rose is definitely an interesting character. I'm enjoying her crazy coaching tactics.


He had his dad’s hair and it bloody needed cut,
--this might flow better as "needed cutting", or "needed it cut".

And, unfortunately, sending a couple people to the hospital.
--it seems like this should be "hospital wing" rather than hospital.

As an opening chapter, this definitely keeps me curious for more, and it's a good intro to the main players. Nice work!


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Review #30, by HeyMrsPotter A Plan of Action

13th September 2015:
Oh no, Annie and Andrew? What is she doing?! This whole story just makes me think 'poor Freddie', and want to hug him.

So Ryan's keeping the baby? I feel like there are going to be a lot more poor Freddie moments in the future when he has to tell his family, and Annie!


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Review #31, by HeyMrsPotter Wants, Needs, and Escapes

13th September 2015:
James and I were still kids. We still got sweets for our birthdays. I love that this is the definition of being a kid! :')

Oh my poor heart is breaking for Freddie now. Though the parent in me is all WHY DIDN'T YOU USE PROTECTION YOU SILLY CHILDREN?! It's so awful that things were going so well for him with Quidditch and school and Annie and then BOOM pregnant Ryan! I hope that if he doesn tell Annie that she's as nice as I think she is and she'll be okay about it.

Another great chapter!


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Review #32, by HeyMrsPotter Straight-Laced

13th September 2015:
Oh my goodness, I wasn't expecting the heartbreak that came with the beginning of this chapter. The idea of my darling George still suffering so much all of those years later, while totoally believable, still makes me so sad! It's natural he wouldn't want to make too many changes to the shop, since he and Fred started it together.

It was good to finally find out how Fred and Ryan had gone from pretty much strangers to sleeping together. Alcohol has so much to answer for!

George's letter sounded perfectly George, exactly how I'd imagine him being as a parent. I loved the line about Roxanne's use of swimmingly :p

And the milkshake/date was so adorable! Loved James' teasing about it :D


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Review #33, by HeyMrsPotter I Remember When

13th September 2015:
Me again.

I liked the balance of serious and funny you had here. I really felt for Fred when you wrote about him feeling replaced by Scorpius, I did like that he and Roxanne weren't put into the same houses though.

There are some brilliant laugh out loud moments in this chapter, your ability to write humour is fantastic. I loved all of the comments about Ryan that were making Fred blush, I think maybe he's hoping for a repeat performance!


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Review #34, by HeyMrsPotter Let’s Start at the Beginning

13th September 2015:
Hey! I'm back for more of my crazy Dobby quest. Congratulations on being nominated for another story!

This is such a hilarious way to begin a story! I love that I've been thrown straight into the action with Fred Weasley being punched in the face by a girl. Brilliant.

I like that you've gone a bit off to usual path with the dynamics and personalities of the next gen kids. James and Fred's friendship is something I'm loving already, and I'm fully appreciative of their ideas for WWW. I also really like Rose's personality, she's far more like Ron than a mini bookish Hermione. Much more fun!

Great start.


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Review #35, by ruby_slippers A Better Brother than Roxanne

11th September 2015:
Poor James, he's a good sort he'll figure it out.

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Review #36, by Chloe A Better Brother than Roxanne

9th September 2015:
I adore this chapter as always. i love the freddie/ryan thing i genuinely didnt think it was gonna happen.what i loved most was the james/ollie break up. I really didnt like ollie i dont think she deserved james the way she acts its like shes doing exactly that acting i dont think anyone knows the real her because she changes around everyone but im really glad james broke up with her not the other way around it shows real character development. Cant wait for the next chapter 😊

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Review #37, by merlins beard A Better Brother than Roxanne

7th September 2015:
Hey there.
I just wanted to drop by and let you know that I'm still reading this and still enjoying every minute of it. After 39 chapters and 20 words I feel like all the characters have become my friends - some a little annoying, others just really sweet and cute, but everyone in this story has something good about them.

I love this chapter, all the meaningful chit-chat with the weasley relatives, and that Ryan gives Freddie a chance, and that James get's thrown up on when holding Georgia, and that James and Freddie find time for each other, and I also kind of love that James breaks up with ollie. I still think they might get back together, but that way they could actually have a fresh start. I think a break, and some time away from hogwarts could be good for them.

I love how close Fred and his dad are, it's so heartwarming to see that.

This story has -right from the beginning- always felt really professionally written. The flow is perfect, the details are there, there are no noticeable plot holes, beautiful description and everything fits together seamlessly.

Congratulations on such a masterpiece.

Lots of love,

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Review #38, by RupertsPheonix A Better Brother than Roxanne

6th September 2015:
Poor James... Right as the air clears for Fred, it gets tough for James. But good for him in standing up for himself. Ollie has been crazy for chapters (weeks?). Love that Fred is the one dishing out the advice!! Haha! Great chapter!

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Review #39, by rose Prepared

26th August 2015:
awesome ending to this chapter, couldnt help but go aww!

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Review #40, by N Prepared

26th August 2015:

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Review #41, by N A Worthy Name

26th August 2015:

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Review #42, by Ailsa Prepared

22nd August 2015:
I reread the last chapter when I noticed this had been posted, and words cannot even describe how emotional I am after reading the two back to back!! I love this story so so so much!! Thank you so much for the dedication as well, that made me emotional too! :) x

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Review #43, by AUBS A Worthy Name

21st August 2015:
To be honest, I loved this chapter, but the name feels kind of off. Don't you think it's kind of obvious she would have named her Georgia because of George, like George named him for Fred? Don't get me wrong, I think your amazing, and anything you put in the story has a reason, but I just feel they would have come up with a different more unique name. Thank you for being such an amazing author!!! Can't wait for what's coming ahead!

Author's Response: Hey there! Firstly, thanks so much for the review! I really appreciate it and love that you're reading my story :)

I definitely think you have a good idea going with your opinion, but I can't say that I agree. I do understand where you're coming from, but Ryan had no intention of naming the baby after anyone - other than Rowena, maybe. She was probably leaning toward a more unique name, but nothing felt good enough. Like searching through a baby name was like meeting a crowd of people. They were just names. None of them described her soon-to-be daughter. Until the moment in the hospital, Ryan had NO intention of giving the baby Fred's last name or naming her after anyone in his family. She wanted ideas, but wasn't even leaning that way. Until that moment, Ryan's baby was Ryan's and Fred was helping and that was it.

If was after she had that talk with Fred and had those moments with Fred that she realized the baby was theirs and they had both come so far. Fred never offered up the idea and thus never planted it in her head that it was even an option - other than joking they could name the baby George.

Personally, I don't think it was obvious to the characters. Maybe the reader, because I placed the scene there where Fred was talking about how much his father taught him, but not to the characters. I'm sure they could have come up with a long list of names that were great and unique, but at the end of the day that's the one Ryan felt was right and anything else wouldn't have made her happy.

Thanks so much for the review - I hope that makes sense :)

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Review #44, by ABookishBeing Prepared

15th August 2015:
ASJDBGJBLFD:KNFEWL Between a Gee/Albus kiss and a true Ryan/Fred kiss, I thoroughly believe you're trying to destroy me AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY A PERSON WHO CREATES SUCH BEAUTIFUL WORDS CAN DO SUCH AN UGLY THING ugh amazing chapter, thank you for sedating me with Fryan.

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Review #45, by I ing love this story Prepared

13th August 2015:
Okay so review #3 basically sums up all my feelings about this story! But I wanted to take the time to write a review myself.OH MY GOD WOMAN how are you so damn crafty and brilliant at this writing thing! seriously how do you get that perfect balance of 'that's f*ckin hilarious' and 'awwh that's so moving".
You bring a tear of joy and happiness to my eye in every chapter!
So keep up the bloody good work !

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Review #46, by a rollerball Prepared

13th August 2015:
awsome chapter as per usual. please update soon

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Review #47, by Tre Prepared

11th August 2015:
that ending left me speechless. in a good way

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Review #48, by Ryan's #1 Fan Prepared

11th August 2015:
I am so happy I found this fic. To be honest, I had kind of given up on finding stories with amazingly crafted plots and character growth. And Ryan is boss and I am so happy that such a boss OC is representing my House. Seriously, I can't thank you enough for introducing us to a female character who is as kickbutt as some of the women I know in my life, faults and all.

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Review #49, by Erin Prepared

11th August 2015:
AGGHHH! SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! I think my heart melted just a lil bit !

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Review #50, by RupertsPheonix Prepared

10th August 2015:
Aah!! The long awaited moment at last -- and it was so perfect!!

Fred Weasley II is the sweetest, best character. I literally compare every other Fred II fanfic to this one because you have such great, likeable characterization.

Love love love this chapter!

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