Reading Reviews for Risen: Out of the Ashes
  
42 Reviews Found

Review #26, by luvinpadfoot A Family Reunion

10th August 2013:
I pointed out one thing in the last chapter about his parents not being there and all of a sudden so many people! Haha! I love it! Harry and Ginny are just how I imagined they would be.

I adore James's relationship with his family. It just seems so realistic! And it's beautifully contrasted with Charlotte's relationship with her family. I especially liked how James didn't realize that families less perfect than his could really exist. That was very well written, great characterization!

I laughed so hard at all of his family's teasing. Even his Dad and Mum got in on it, poor James (well, not really). Everyone just assuming that he and Charlotte are together is hilarious! I'm loving it so much!

I feel so bad for Charlotte and her bad relationship with her father. I really hope as the story progresses that gets a little bit better. She deserves to be happier than she is and feel more loved, although James is such a sweetheart for getting her out of the house and taking her camping.

I know you said you had trouble with this chapter, but it definitely didn't show at all. So far this is one of my favorite chapters of the whole story! The entire thing was beautifully crafted and just perfect in every way! :)

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Review #27, by luvinpadfoot Twenty Questions Part Deux

10th August 2013:
I disappear for two weeks and so many new chapters! I'll definitely be reading through and reviewing them all over the next few days. Sorry for missing them before.

Ooh The Princess Bride is my favorite! I honestly love you ten times more for referencing that. Anyone who loves TPB must be amazing.

James and Charlotte are really cute. I loved how he was just over the hill sending little notes back and forth with her- that was the most adorable situation! I like how he's so protective of her, but not at all in a creepy way. He just seems really nice, which is a good change of pace.

I can't believe his parents let him have a motorcycle. I'd have loved to see their reaction when he first got one haha! And speaking of them, I'd really like to see more characters since so far it's just been Charlotte and James, with brief cameo from her mother, of course. I'd just like to see how they interact with other people and if James changes how he acts (to be fair that should be James and Charlotte both, but I'll just stick with James because I feel like his changes would be more obvious).

I'm eager for the rest so I'll keep reading! Lovely chapter as always. :)

Author's Response: Hope you like what I've been up to with Charlotte and James. :)
So you like Dr. Who and The Princess Bride? wish I knew you in real life, you have good taste. :D
I like to think that James "borrowed" the motorcycle. :)


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Review #28, by Christina A Denial, A Restless Night and A Halloween Party

6th August 2013:
Great to see jame's pov... Love this chapter... Can't wait for
the next update!!!

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Review #29, by Christina A Denial, A Restless Night and A Halloween Party

6th August 2013:
Great to see jame's pov... Love this chapter... Can't wait for the next update!!!

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Review #30, by itsonlyjamespotter A Denial, A Restless Night and A Halloween Party

6th August 2013:
this is absolutely fabulous, completely brilliant etc i
really hope next chappie charlotte will realise and go
looking for james and they'll have a proper talk and
what not... I also hope asher takes it well and yeh aw
james is adorable ~ Hannah xx

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Review #31, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ A Denial, A Restless Night and A Halloween Party

6th August 2013:
AW. I feel sorry for Asher, I'm just waiting for them to realise their love for each other. Charlotte is going to be his partner isn't she? Oh my god. Love this story so much. cannot wait for the next chapter! :D

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! Glad you like the story and I hope that you continue to like it after the next few chapters. :)

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Review #32, by Christina A Revelation, A Quidditch Player and A Date

3rd August 2013:
I love this story so much!!! It has an amazing plot!!! Can't wait for the next chapter!!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!!! :)

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Review #33, by itsonlyjamespotter A Revelation, A Quidditch Player and A Date

2nd August 2013:
CUTEEE, asher is adorable like mega cute awww! Although I still think James is better for her and she is amazing for him so he needs to get his act together! Haha! Update sooon ~Hannah x

Author's Response: Hi Hannah!!! Thanks so much for the review! Updates should happen pretty quickly- I'm trying to get the entire story written so that there's no delay in waiting for the next chapter. I hope you enjoy the next few chapters. :)

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Review #34, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ A Revelation, A Quidditch Player and A Date

2nd August 2013:
aw I love this story and Asher is cute but I want more James and Charlotte, Charlie? I don't know which she prefers haha. Honestly great story, can't wait for the next chapter or the party aha :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words!!! In case you really want to know- Charlotte doesn't actually enjoy being called Charlie, but some people just got used to calling her that and she never made a fuss. The next chapter should up soon, hope you like it!

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Review #35, by RosemayP A Family Reunion

29th July 2013:
Of course it didn't show! It was amazing you're exceedingly talented, get updating soon, otherwise I may just melt or maybe suffer severe symptoms from withdrawal, an over reaction? NO!

Author's Response: You're making me blush... thank you for the compliment. Seriously. :)
I have about half the story written and quite a few chapters ready to go, they just have to get validated. Keep checking back- hopefully they'll be up soon! Thanks again!


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Review #36, by RosemaryP Reunion with James Potter

29th July 2013:
This is really good! You're a really talented writer, keep it up!!! The Doctor who reference made my day!:D

Author's Response: Yay! Another Dr.Who fan, pleasure to meet you! :) Glad you liked the story.

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Review #37, by Sun Lovegood A Family Reunion

28th July 2013:
I like the way you actually use some time to get to the point, to many fics have a good idea but the way its written is terrible. Please finish this!

Author's Response: Aw! Thanks! I have every intention of finishing the story- half of it is already written. My sincerest thanks for reading it- I hope you continue to like the story.

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Review #38, by luvinpadfoot Twenty Questions

21st July 2013:
Ooh I loved this chapter! And James was right, a lot of Charlotte's answers were really telling. I may be kind of analyzing her at the moment. It was sweet how James felt sad for her when she said she wanted to be more like her sisters.

I do hope that's not how her family really feels about her and just her perception. That'd be awful if it was the case, although understandable I guess. It's hard to have a kid who's more like your ex than you from her father's point of view.

I'm really adoring James's character, especially in the beginning! He's just so- I don't really know how to explain it. Deep, I guess. But not unrealistically so. He's like the jock/playboy/whatever who actually has real thoughts, only hides them because he doesn't want to come off that way.

I do love that he's so different with Charlotte, though. The two seem so close already, opening up about stuff that normally they wouldn't talk about. I love it! And I can't wait to see what kind of questions Charlotte asks him and what answers he provides.

My one critique per chapter (because apparently you only have one thing per chapter that could be improved): there was a fair bit of dialogue without a lot of description in the second half or so. I dunno, the dialogue was really good, but it seemed like there could be some more description to go along with it.

But lovely chapter! I really enjoyed it and I can't wait for more! You're a very talented writer and you've done the characters so well that I'm addicted! :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

Thanks for the review, it really means a lot to me! It's such a huge relief knowing that the characters are coming across the way I want them to. Whew!

The story is definitely writing itself at this point- and unlike most of the other (non-fan fiction) stories I write, I'm not really playing the editor as much as I normally would. Somewhere around the halfway point I'll will probably go back and do some minor editing- add more description and things like that. Critiques help me as much as positive thoughts- so keep it coming!


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Review #39, by luvinpadfoot Reunion with James Potter

21st July 2013:
I liked the Doctor Who reference! Definitely wasn't expecting it so it made me laugh. I also am a huge fan. ;)

James was brilliant. He's so sweet and helpful to Charlotte! Most guys would've probably found some other way to help her that was easier for them, but James really is so nice. I liked how he said he had a "reputation". If it was a bad one then I think it's all gone after how he helped Charlotte.

The bit about his mum was so funny! Definitely the way I pictured Ginny as a mother. Her boys would be the perfect gentlemen, or she'd know why. Though I'm not quite sure how she'd feel about her son helping Charlotte in the shower. Somehow I don't quite think his eyes widened because Charlotte looked like utter crap...

It was a great chapter and I love what's happened so far and your writing style! My only critique was that some of the larger paragraphs are a tad blocky to read on the computer screen and maybe splitting those up into two or three separated paragraphs would make it a bit easier. But that's really just a nitpick thing. It's a brilliant story and I really am loving it! So onward, to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello! Glad you liked the Dr. Who reference. :D

Thanks for the comments, and thanks for reading my story. It's so surreal thinking that people are actually reading (and gasp- enjoying) this. I'm kind of in shock. I hope you continue to read and like the story. I have something close to half of it already written, so there shouldn't be long waits for chapters.
I really appreciate the critique too- I'm trying to shorten the paragraphs in later chapters, so hopefully that will make it easier to read.
Thanks again!


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Review #40, by teh tarik Introduction

14th July 2013:
Hello! Wow, this is a very strong start! Your characterisation of Charlotte is very clear and very focused, and there is a good balance of light and darker things in her life. I especially love the description and portrayal of her broken mother. It was really quite haunting. You had some lovely lines in there as well, such as: Her father had told her many months ago that he had once been attracted to the brokenness, but his love for her couldn;t break past the walls. This line just honestly gave me the chills; it's so beautifully worded and it's such a strange and unsettling concept, to be in love with someone's 'brokenness'.

I like the introduction of James Potter at the end. I'm assuming things are going to happen between Charlotte and him :)

I really liked that last paragraph where she goes to her favourite place in the grove and climbs up and just relaxes. There's such a wonderful sense of serenity and peace, though of course, this is most likely the calm before the storm.

This is a great start! I can't wait to see where this story will go :)

-teh

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have a few chapters finished already, and they should (hopefully) be up soon! I really appreciate the review, it really does mean a lot. I started this story on a total whim and it's very encouraging. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

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Review #41, by luvinpadfoot Introduction

14th July 2013:
This is a great beginning! I really liked your characterization of Charlotte, she seemed very real. Everything about her just fit in so well, her House, reading, running, and relationship with the Potters. And speaking of relationship with the Potters, wow that encounter really did sound awkward!

My main critique was that it was a bit difficult to read because the text was so blocky and the paragraphs were rather long. Perhaps separating them into shorter sections might be a bit easier on the eyes of your readers.

I can't wait to read more and see what trouble she gets into with James before school starts! I can only imagine how they'll be together. And Charlotte seems like such a nice, down to earth girl.

I'm really looking forward to the rest of the story! This was a lovely beginning. And that dramatic turn has me very intrigued. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! It's going to keep me very motivated to keep writing. I very much appreciate the critique. The writing style shifts a bit in the first chapter so I hope that will be easier to read. Keep checking back, I'm hoping the first chapter will be up soon and thanks again!

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Review #42, by Leannadrobisforever Introduction

13th July 2013:
I really liked it please continue and update this story

Author's Response: Thank you! I should have two more chapters posted soon and I hope you still like it after that. :)

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