Reading Reviews for Charming Charlie
  
166 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Beyond the Veil Dreading a Question

13th June 2008:
I'm liking this more and more! You're staying away from clichés, from what I see, and the narration (and narrator) is so drawing and comfortable to the reader. I can definitely see this becoming better with each chapter. And I'm hooked, I admit :) I'll be keeping up with this story for sure.

As for what to work on... well, on the occasion your tenses switch around, which is a little confusing even though I usually know what you mean. Just watch for little things like that when you're writing.

But I really can't wait to see where else you're going with this. :)

Blaire

Author's Response: Hi! You're hooked? Yay! =D I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story as well! I have sent this chapter to my beta, but I'm yet to post it up. I'll do so once I have more time. Thanks for the review, Blaire! *huggles*

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Review #27, by Beyond the Veil Sacred Fire University for Dragon Studies

13th June 2008:
I like this so far! It's an interesting idea. Your narrator is very likeable, and the narration itself is comfortable and easy to get into. I like your dialogue, too, it's very realistic and, again, comfortable.

Something to watch out for is clichéd descriptions - 'sapphire eyes' and 'slender enough to be a model' are used rather frequently - be careful when you use things like that.

Grammar and spelling is nearly flawless, which is good. I'll keep reading! Hope I've helped out a bit.

Blaire

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Glad you enjoy it, and thanks for pointing that out. I'll make sure to watch out for those. ^_^ My beta works wonder with this chapter, so the flawless grammar is all thanks to her. Anyway, thank you for the review, Blaire!

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Review #28, by hpotterbookworm Faint and Faith

2nd June 2008:
So I read this story a while ago and I am just now coming back to review. sorry! But in all fairness it has been forever since you updated so... I guess we're even ;D(J/K)

I really love the story. It is really great. I love all the new and interesting characters especially Irene. I love that her father is super famous and he wants her to follow in his footsteps. It adds some depth to her character that she is terrified of what she is doing at the reserve.

I absolutely love Charlie. You characterize him so well! he is so charming. I can't wait for his and Irene's relationship to evolve. They seem so perfect for each other.

I have to admit that this is the first Charlie story I have ever read. I saw somewhere that you don't read any CW/HG fics. and I have to recommend one to you that might help change your mind... I was rather reluctant myself to read any ships other than DM/HG... but I hope you can make an exception.. .the story is called "Only in the World of Dragons" by atruwriter. Read it and let me know if you change your mind bout that ship.

Anyway, please update soon... don't abandon the story... and keep up the magnificent writing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Lol, I’m a horrible updater. But I am working on the next chapter, it’s about 40% done. =D And I’m so thrilled to know that you like Charlie! I’ve been so worried that his character is a bit flat, so thanks. ^_^ I’ll be getting into their relationship pretty soon. I’m so excited to get started on it! I’ll be sure to take a look at the story, and I’ll let you know what I think. ^_^ Again, thank you!

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Review #29, by Meeeeera The First Class: Homework Already?

18th May 2008:
Hey!

It's Meera from the forums, here to review your story. Sorry it's taken so long, I've been studying :(

Well, wow. I've never read a story like this before, about Charlie, and dragons and an OC with a huge crush on Charlie. It's been an interesting read.

It's really good that Irene isn't perfect. Nothing makes me cringe more than a Mary-Sue, so it's great that she has faults, and that she's unsure about things, and she has those bad experiences to reflect on. It makes for an interesting character.

As for Charlie, well, he seems pretty cool. I'd be careful with the number of unbelievably good looking guys in your story, it might become a bit cliche`ed.

I'd also avoid doing this:

'Lisa's eyes were bright sapphire, which stood out gorgeously against her dark skin and hair. She was slender, slender enough to be a model. Yet she looked every bit a real Dragon Keeper. Something in the way she shook my hand and something in her air that told me she was tough. She was pleasant, but I didn't think I want to be on her bad side.'

Try to break up your description a bit, and slot in details with the character's actions, as in, have Lisa's sapphire eyes sparkle, or have Irene tease her about getting fat because she ate something. Makes it a little less... clumpy.

It might also make sense if you change 'I didn't think I want to be on her bad side' to 'I didn't think I'd want to be on her bad side'. It makes a bit more sense. Apart from that, grammar's been pretty good so far.

Nice work, I'll keep reading now!

- Meera :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for this wonderful review. I'm glad you find this interesting. ^_^ And thank you for pointing those out. I have a wonderful beta, but I've yet to post the edited version. =P

Anyway, thank you again, Meera!


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Review #30, by Hunky Dory Sacred Fire University for Dragon Studies

1st May 2008:
Sounds good so far, glad there's another one!

Author's Response: Thanks! I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story as well.

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Review #31, by Resplendence Sacred Fire University for Dragon Studies

28th March 2008:
Had to add this to my favorites for sure. :]

~Leah

Author's Response: Thank you, Leah! =D

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Review #32, by australia_kelpie Faint and Faith

18th March 2008:
I love it! update soon!! Cheers!!!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like it. ^_^

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Review #33, by none Faint and Faith

17th February 2008:
ah poor scared freckle. great story.

Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^

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Review #34, by Girldetective85 Faint and Faith

11th February 2008:
Freckle sounds sooo cute!! I think he's adorable that he thinks Irene is his mom awww. And Charlie carried her across campus in his arms!! Wow... once again I love how realistic Irene is and how easy to sympathize with her, she's not your typical OC because she has embarrassing moments like in real life! Fainting in front of your crush is definitely way up there on the embarrassing list hahaha. And now Lisa is bugging her about Gavin, ugh ... Gavin's nice, but he's just not ... Charlie! I'm still loving this story as much as ever, I hope you update soon and let us know what happens with Freckle and Irene!! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Lol, I have been looking forward to writing that fainting scene, so I’m really thrilled that you like it. ^_^ Writing Freckle made me nervous. I’m glad I did it alright. =D Thank you for this review!

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Review #35, by Lantern Faint and Faith

8th February 2008:
Love the story, keep updating

Author's Response: Thank you! ^_^

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Review #36, by Jessi_Rose Faint and Faith

7th February 2008:
Hahaha, aw *giggles* Poor Irene! How embarrassing! I really do love her.. She's one of my favorite OCs ever. The way that she acts and reacts is so real - it's like she's a real person..which is hard enough to pull off, let alone in HP land. I'm so excited that you updated!! I was like YAY!! I really can't wait to see how things develop for Irene and Charlie... but I'm really glad you put in that warning there with Allison. Very nicely done. And sucha fluffy way to end the chapter, with her remembering what her dad said. =D Loved it!!

Author's Response: Jessi! *huggles* I thought it was about time Lisa really spoke up about the love triangle, so I’m glad you like that. ^_^ You really made my day with this review. Thank you so much!

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Review #37, by Labby Faint and Faith

6th February 2008:
Another great chapter! I really liked the flashback... it really shows some more depth in her character and why she isn't too sure about the dragon taming thing. I wonder if she's actually going to be able to get through school because it just doesn't seem like her thing. But who knows, maybe she'll get used to it and enjoy it. Anyways, this story seems to be developing well and I'm interested to see what happens next. Charlie stories are awesome! :) Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there! I’m so glad to see you’re still enjoying the story. ^_^ And yes, we’ll just have to see if she’ll grow to like it or not. *shrugs* =P Thank you so much for the review, Labby!

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Review #38, by severus_lover New Friends, New Admirer?

4th January 2008:
Another great chapter!!! so far i can say the Iene's character is very likable. She's not a Mary sue thats for sure lol. she has flaws and she's shy which is very realistic. I noticed another inconsistancy with the tense in the first part again but overall the dialogue is good and the description of everything and the characters! good job. ill r&r the rest when i get a chance :D

Author's Response: Thanks! ^_^ I’m glad you like Irene, characterization is really important to me. I’ll be sure to edit this chapter asap to catch those mistakes. Thanks again and I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story too!

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Review #39, by severus_lover Sacred Fire University for Dragon Studies

4th January 2008:
Whoa great start!!! this was an awsome chapter. I just love Irene's dad's name. Ignatius. it sounds so delicious lol. A noticed that you switched tenses a little bit in he first section eg:

1.Sacred Fire University for Dragon Studies, I read the bronze plaque silently. Well, here I am. I took a deep breath, calming my nerve before I stepped through the black ancient-looking gate and into the campus’ ground.

now this sugests that its present tense.

2.I had shuddered at the thought of it before I could remind myself that facing dragon was going to be a part of my study

but there you said 'had' shudered indicating past tense...or am i reading it wrong :/

there are a few little mistakes grammar wise and a few spots could use some more commas but overall its quite interesting and off to a good start 9/10

=] kay~

Author's Response: Lol, I liked that name too. Thank you for pointing these out, I tend to miss those little grammar mistakes. ^_^ Thank you for this review!

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Review #40, by CrazyForYou Hatching Day

2nd January 2008:
very cute!

it bugs me that Irene is going out with Gavin, even when she likes Charlie, but oh well. I feel bad for Gavin because he seems like such a sweet guy (too sweet to deserve getting his heart broken).

Your characterization of Charlie seems good, but there hasn't realy been that much. He just seems like a nice guy.

I'll add this to my favorites, so i can follow it =)
Nice job!!

~CrazyForYou

Author's Response: Thank you! There’s going to be more of Charlie soon, I promise. Gavin might not have his heart broken, who knows? ;) Lol, just kidding. Anyway, thanks again for the review, CrazyForYou! I really appreciate it.

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Review #41, by CrazyForYou The First Class: Homework Already?

2nd January 2008:
hey! sorry its taken me so long to review.

Very good job.

I like the characterization of Irene and Lisa, they seem very realistic.

I didn't spot and grammar or spelling errors, good job!

Onto the next chapters =)

Author's Response: Hello! It’s okay, I’m not in any rush. ^_^ I’m glad you like this chapter. Hopefully you’ll like the rest of the story too. Thanks!

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Review #42, by Girldetective85 Freckle

31st December 2007:
Hahaha I got confused and reviewed Chapter 6 first, thinking that it was Chapter 5 and then I was all excited to go on to the next chapter. I'm crazy.

Anyway, no wonder I couldn't remember the name Freckle, I thought it was so cute but couldn't remember when Irene named it that. I love the rules and instructions on how to raise a dragon, they were very imaginative and I think they made a lot of sense. I love that the dragon gets attached to whatever creature it sees first and considers that its mother, in that sense it's not so different from other baby animals. Well, except for the fact that it can fly around and breathe fire on people. So they chose a blue egg - that's a Swedish Short-snout?

I'm still loving this story, it's so incredibly original and interesting all the way through. I hope you update soon whenever you get the chance! And definitely feel free to put in a request in my thread on the forums, or owl me when you update and want some feedback. Sometimes I need a little nudge to remind me. ;) Great job! 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I’m glad you like the rules. It took a while to get it right. ^_^ lol, yes, I think baby dragon would have the same intuition as other baby animals. And yes, they are raising a Swedish Short-snout. At first I wanted them to take care of a Romanian Longhorn, but I don’t think Irene would be able to deal with them. ;) I will definitely owl you when I update. Thanks again for this review, Girldetective!

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Review #43, by Girldetective85 Hatching Day

31st December 2007:
First of all, Freckle is the CUTEST name for a dragon ever. It sounds just like something Hagrid would call his pet. I love this line: "Yes, alcohol and blood. No wonder dragons are so aggressive." I laughed when she hoped that the dragon wouldn't think of her as its mother, knowing what happens to Irene, I bet it will! That's so exciting that the egg started to hatch, and aww Charlie of course, being the gentleman he is, decides to help her. :) :) I think I'm rooting 100% for Charlie and Irene, although Gavin seems really cute too. I'm excited to see how this turns out! Next chapter yay! :D 10/10

Author's Response: Lol, when I was trying to decide on the name, I was actually reminded of Fluffy and the irony of the name, so I named it Freckle. =P I love that line too! I was browsing through Philosopher’s Stone when I found that information about dragons, and that was what popped into my head. I figured Irene would be thinking along the same line. ^_^ Thank you so much for the lovely review, Girldetective!

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Review #44, by Lantern Hatching Day

26th December 2007:
I really like this story and i wish you would update if you have the time... I've been keeping an eye on it, but it hasn't changed in a long time so... Thanks

Author's Response: Glad you like it! I’m currently updating my other fic, so this one has to wait awhile. Actually, my updates (in average) take about three to five months in between, so yeah... This is what happens when I try to juggle three WIPs and school at the same time. ^_^ Thanks for the review!

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Review #45, by Voldemora New Friends, New Admirer?

25th December 2007:
Hey, me again!

Awww, two people like her! How sweet!

Good
-That thing about bumping into a wall if there was one. Hilarious
-I still think your characterisation isn't a problem.
Bad
-'Now, don’t look at me like that. Just because I had a crush on Charlie doesn’t mean I couldn’t say that Gavin was handsome'
It's a little weird that she's talking to the reader now, but she hasn't before. Feel free to keep that if you want, it isn't a glaring annoyance, it's just a little funny.

Merry Christmas! (again)
Emi

Author's Response: I was a bit wary over that sentence too, I will look over it once my beta gets back to me. Thank you for pointing that out! Merry Christmas! ^_^

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Review #46, by Voldemora Sacred Fire University for Dragon Studies

25th December 2007:
Feeling too lazy to construct proper sentences, so im doing this in point form.

Good
-There didn't seem to be any chracterisation problems, but this is only the first chapter. Irene definitely seems interesting, a real fish out of water.
- You have good inner dialogue
-An original idea for a story. I like it. :)

Bad
-I noticed he had gained a whole lot of freckles that he appeared tanned.
That sentence is weird. It doesn't really make sense. May have been a typo, but I suggest you rework it.

- 'I could feel my face turning beat red at the mention of the incident.

"It was an accident!" I stated, turning even redder when he laughed again. I noticed that he had a nice laugh; it made me want to smile, even if I was deadly embarrassed. "I can’t believe you heard about it!"'

First of all, its beet red, not beat red, and I think it's more likely she'd have exclaimed that sentence, not stated. It fits more.

- Maybe add more descriptions?

Hmm, my no constructing sentences idea didn't work, did it? Oh well.

Merry Christmas!
Emi

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review! This form works, actually. Seems more detailed. ^_^ I have a beta and she has looked over this chapter, but I haven't posted it yet. I will post it asap.

Thank you again for this review, Emi! Merry Christmas! :)


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Review #47, by Girldetective85 Dreading a Question

18th November 2007:
Aw Gavin sounds so cute! You know I honestly saw a ton more chemistry between Irene and Gavin, than I did between Irene and Charlie, because they were just talking and acting friendly. I really hope she changes her mind soon. This was a great chapter and interesting all the way through. I love the description of the party and especially about how Irene thought she was a bad dancer but just needed to loosen up - that's pretty much me right there. :P It's very easy to relate to her, especially when she was having trouble in PE - she is such a great OC. I'm getting a weird feeling about Lisa all of a sudden though, I wonder if she's interested in getting Charlie for herself? Hmmm. I love this, hun, keep up the good work! I'll try to review again as soon as possible - if I don't, owl me something angry and tell me to get on it! :) 10/10

Author's Response: I love your reviews! ^_^

This chapter does have more Irene/Gavin than Irene/Charlie (I just love writing love triangles), since Charlie hasn’t shown any interest in Irene yet and she’s too shy to flirt with him. She’s going to have a hard time turning down Gavin, but hopefully she’ll do it. =D Anyway, I’m glad you can relate to Irene! Characterization is important to me, and I always love it when someone says they can relate to my characters. That means I’m doing it right. =P

Lisa isn’t going to be directly involved in the love triangle, but she’ll have her part in it. Let’s just say she’s not going to be really helpful when it comes to Charlie and Irene. ;) Thank you so much for your sweet reviews! *huggles*


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Review #48, by Girldetective85 The First Class: Homework Already?

18th November 2007:
I love this story!! I think I've told you at least twice already. :DD And I'm really jealous that they get to go to SCU, I think this class sounds amazing. I still really, really like your OC, Irene. There is absolutely nothing Mary-Sue about her. She's sweet, bright, and likeable, and yet she's thoroughly quirky and human, and of course she's got Daddy's expectations hounding her back. I really liked the flashback, because it nicely shows how his expectations differ from her nature - but who knows, I think she's got it in her to be a great dragon tamer (I hope!!!). Sorry I haven't been able to review for so long, but I'm going on to the next chapter now! 10 out of 10 - nothing bad to say. :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for this review. I’m really thrilled that you like Irene! Her voice is slightly different from what I’m used to, but she’s so much fun. =D Irene and her father have an interesting relationship, though we can only see them through flashbacks. I’m planning to have him come over for a visit, but not anytime soon. Anyway, we’ll see if she could be a dragon tamer. ;)

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #49, by Dark Star Hatching Day

9th November 2007:
Poor Irene she's so confused about Charlie and now the dragon is hatching.
Her confidence is so low, maybe Charlie helping her with p.e will really boost it.

Don't stop writing I love your story, its one of my favorites.

Please update soon. :)

Author's Response: You’re right about her confidence, though I think Charlie helping her with PE will probably complicate things. ;) Thanks for the review!

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Review #50, by Labby Hatching Day

31st October 2007:
What a great chapter! I'm so glad that Charlie may be helping her with PE, and I thought it was perfect to have the egg start to hatch! I'm so excited to see what happens! This story is wonderful! Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Thank you!! I had a lot of fun writing Charlie’s part, and the egg part too. I’m glad you like the idea of Charlie helping her with PE. I thought it was the only way to get them to spend more time together without Gavin interfering. =D Anyway, thanks again for the lovely review!

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