Reading Reviews for Crossing the Borderline
131 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Penelope Inkwell Aaliyah: The Meeting

14th July 2015:

So, I have read lots of this story already, just a few days ago (I didn't review, which is against my policy; it was late and I was exhausted & had a headache and you know how you convince yourself that you'll come back and review when you're coherent? Well, I am actually doing that now, so hopefully I'm not too terrible).

There is so much to love in this first chapter! First off, your MC's name. I just like it. :D

Then, of course, there's that beginning. You begin the story beautifully. The utter silence as she's walking down the hall, then the mounting whispers of the paintings. It sets the mood wonderfully. It makes you feel a little anxious, jittery, and deeply curious about what is going on. It was a fabulous way to make us feel like there were already high stakes, and it fits the theme of the chapter, which is clearly gossip (and trying to control it).

Then of course we have James and Gabby and Albus, but even as we meet them you're just revealing snippets. Why is Aaliyah so anxious? What's up with Gabby and James--they seem pretty happy and comfortable for recent exes? What are they trying to accomplish. And of course you answer some of those questions, leaving us with plenty more. You tug the plot along quite well that way.

Also, I really like that you made Charlotte Ronan a Hufflepuff. Defy House stereotypes! Whoo! I'm all for it. I mean, like you say, she's hardworking. That doesn't always mean that they'd choose the best things to work hard at.

Sooo, the juciest bit of all: Gabby and James have been faking a relationship to keep the spotlight off other high profile students, Aaliyah in particular. Why? Is she just shy, or is there something bigger here? (I mean, obviously since I've read ahead I know it's something bigger. I'm just saying, that is intriguing).

And does Albus have ulterior motives for all this?

You've set up your really well here. I can already tell we've got two strong personalities. Not that Aaliyah seems like a loud person or anything--the opposite, really--but it seems like they can both hold their ground. Bound to be an interesting pairing, right there :D

CC: So, as a rule, I always try to give CC (except in the HC collab, since the authors can't change anything or answer back). And I'm super, super nitpicky. But I only seriously nitpick stories that I really like. So there's a good amount here, but PLEASE don't think that it implies that I don't think your story is marvelous, because it is. It's so fabulous that I wanted to point out everything I questioned. I know I write without a beta, so I depend on readers pointing out my mistakes to me so that I can make my story as good as it can be.

"The stranger, in fact, isnít a stranger at all; he is none other than Albus Potter. I know who he is, but I barely know the real him. Nevertheless he is like a stranger to me (technically)".
--This bit seems a little convoluted to me, and sort of like a misuse of the word "technically. I'd suggest restructuring a bit. I always feel like I should give an example when I say that, so I'll throw one in, but of course, it's just one of many possibilities:

"Technically, of course, he isn't a stranger. The boy with the dark hair and brooding eyes is none other than Albus Potter. Of course I know his name--who doesn't? But I don't know the real him at all. He's as much a stranger to me as any unknown first year."

""Sure, 'cause scrubbing the Great Hall for a month and cleaning out Slughorn's troll wax jars isn't that bad,' he finishes off by drawing the last sentence longer than necessary."
--You say he draws 'the last sentence' longer than necessary, but he only said one sentence. Maybe the last word? And also it should be "drawing the sentence/word out" longer than necessary".

I think that is what we all were anticipating and craving for, except for the smug middle Potter, who is currently looking at us calmly, with a side of amusement?
--You would probably just say "craving", rather than "craving for". But that also confuses me. Why are they craving this interaction? It seems like they find the whole thing rather unpleasant. And why is there a question mark at the end.

"He pays his attention back to James and Gabby."
--Generally, you'd say "gives his attention back" rather than "pays". Though come to think of it, I don't know why that is, since "to pay attention" is a thing. English is so weird.

He's both nervous and anxious.
--Nervous and anxious mean pretty much the same thing, so you only need one of them. Unless you mean to say "He's both nervous and anxious to be done with all this," or something. That would give the word "anxious" a purpose.

That is why you donít mess with her, though you also canít forget that she is only a Hufflepuff (donít ask how she got there). Hardworking with weaknesses that you can dig up. If you push the right buttons, she will shatter. And she isnít the type to pick up her own pieces.
--This observation intrigues me. It implies that Aaliyah is a fighter. But its placement seems odd, because the way you describe her immediately before is as a nuclear force holding all the cards. It seems odd that, immediately after, Aaliyah would be like, "But she's totally got weaknesses to exploit," when the whole point of the previous sentences seems to be to define Ronan as unbeatable. I think it's a great statement, but it might make more sense to put it in another place in the story.

"Weighing my options, my lips turn down into a frown. It is rather yes or no. Yes or no? Yes or no? Maybe yes, but then maybe no."
--The "It is rather yes or no," sentence here doesn't really make sense.

I really like this story and I'm planning on coming back to review more chapters! Pretend relationships are my favorite fanfic trope!


Author's Response: Hi, Penny!

I do that too often late at night. Telling myself I'll review later is a weakness for me haha. I should probably quit that habit.

I'm glad you like Aaliyah's name. To be honest, I like it too or else I wouldn't have gave it to her.

I thought I would use the beginning to story of of set up the place she's in and where she's going. I've always thought the paintings at Hogwarts were interesting so I really wanted to include them as well. I'm glad that you thought it set up the mood nicely as well.

The first chapter does always bring questions haha. At end of writing it I had to ask myself how would I reveal everything and during which chapter. I think that's how I deal with the plot I'm trying to weave.

I thought making Charlotte Ronan a Hufflepuff would make the character more interesting. Also I dislike the stereotype that Puffs are either lame or wannabe Lions. So yes defy stereotypes! And you're absolutely right about the hardworking part.

There is something bigger haha. I wouldn't say Aaliyah's shy but that she doesn't like too much attention.

Albus... he always has ulterior motives. Never trust snakes I tell you.

I'm really happy to hear that you think Albus and Aaliyah are strong characters even though both of them aren't loud but calm and level-headed.

CC is always appreciated. I actually already read over this review a few days ago and edited a lot of the parts you pointed out. So thank you so much for this!! Editing is the bane of my existence so when someone points things out I'm more relieved that someone else noticed rather than me having to go back and find it.

"I think that is what we all were anticipating and craving for, except for the smug middle Potter, who is currently looking at us calmly, with a side of amusement?"
^^ For this one they aren't craving the interaction. The sentence before says "You know when you are expecting someone but are secretly hoping that they won't show up?"

Thank you for the sweet and helpful review! Pretend relationships are a bit cliche but so fun to write and read. Throwing two characters together and making them slowly fall for each other... it's evil but interesting.

Thanks again, Penny!


P.S. I'm visiting Traitorous Hearts again soon. ;)

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Review #27, by wolfgirl17 Aaliyah: The Slytherins

12th July 2015:
Hey Sama,

Wolfgirl here to check out your re-request for a review from me. You know I love this fic, so don't ever think I'd mind ;)

How do you always manage to so effectively hook me with this fic?? I't just so brilliant. I love the way you portray Aaliyah and Albus, and so far I'm liking these new characters you've introduced. I don't think it was too rushed or too much at once. It makes sense that eventually she would need to meet the rest of Al's dorm-mates.

I do have one little brit-pick to offer, which is the use of the word "fancy" in favour of "like like". As in "Aaliyah, I really fancy you."
Rather than: "Aaliyah, I like like you." It's not a huge thing and it's sometimes fun to include the like-like cliche, but it's better clarity to use fancy.

I love the way you've added some depth to both Al and Aaliyah in this chapter, and I seriously cannot wait to see where you take the rest of the fic. It's such a brilliant story.

I've been meaning to set aside some time to just sit and read the whole thing and really immerse myself in it. I'll get there eventually =)

Keep up the absolutely fantastic work!


Author's Response: Ellie! It's sad that I hadn't noticed before that I have a character in this story with the same name. :O

It should be illegal to be this kind. Really, you have smiling so widely!

In the beginning I was skeptical about writing Aaliyah and Al that way because it isn't the usual. Instead of a feisty, confident girl you have clever, level-headed Aaliyah and instead of an arrogant, charming guy you have calm and calculating Albus. I'm really glad you like them!

Introducing new characters is always fun but it can go either way. It's great to hear it didn't seem to rushed.

I actually like the word fancy much more. Thank you so much for picking that out! I'm going to edit that in once the next chapter is out. I tend to edit older chapters at the same time as when I put a new chapter out to avoid readers thinking there was an update when there wasn't.

Thank you for the helpful review! I'm trying to get better a Britishisms but it's a slow development and your brit-pick really helped! And thank you for all the love and kindness!


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Review #28, by Dirigible_Plums Albus: The Wing

10th July 2015:

Wow. It's been ages since I've reviewed. I tend to be one of those silent readers that fangirls to myself in secret, but I thought I'd come out of hiding for once.

I don't know what to say except that I really like this. I love Al because he's exactly the type of Al that I imagine him to be. I've seen some people place him in Slytherin, but have him act very much like a Gryffindor, but you don't do that. And I love you for that.

And yay, their relationship is progressing. I really like how it seems natural. It's not like a switch has been flicked and suddenly they're in love now. It's just...normal.

Great work!

Dirigible_Plums xo

(Oh and before I forget: WHAT IS THIS TAPE YOU SPEAK OF.)

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you came out of hiding! I'm pretty sure I remember you leaving reviews on this story before so thank you for those and thank you for taking the time again to leave another!

Slytherin Albus is just so much more fun to write than Gryffindor Albus, you know? I feel like JK Rowling wrote so many of her main characters Gryffindor and we're so use to that house that it's time to branch out and experiment with the other three houses.

They're relationship is progressing, slowly by steadily. I think the only way they can be in love with each other instantly is if you gave them both love potions haha. Who knows... maybe I should do that.

The tape. It's coming next chapter, don't worry! It's something that happened in the past and Aaliyah doesn't know about it but she really wants to. She's going to get it out of Al next chapter.

Thank you for the kind review!


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Review #29, by happyanon Albus: The Wing

9th July 2015:
Oh my lord!!! I think my heart skipped a beat when I saw the update! First of all, i LOVE this longer than usual chapter. Thank you for that!! And adore this chapter mainly because who would have thought Rosie and Albus will have this heart to heart in the hospital wing. I totally get Rosie now. We are kind of the same in that way. I have numerous cousins and I'm one of the oldest, I've always felt like they're my children so when they started getting into relationships I ended up being the icy cousin who hates their girlfriends/boyfriends. But we also had a similar talk i mean wow this actually hits home in a sort of diff way. But atleast now I understand Rosie. I love how Lily is just so sassy but she was actually worried about albus in that "I'm a sassy chic" way. And yes Gabby and James!! What is going there fellas!! Hahaha Annie and Scorpius are cute. Maybe they can be sibling friends. Blaine come on man!!! TALK TO HER!! i love the couch scene. With albus and aaliyah and albus POV. I missed it too! Haha You know I sort of get the title now. Crossing the Borderline. Right now Albus said their in some sort of borderline. Just. Omg all my feels.. CROSSING THE BORDERLINE. WILL THEY THO? WHEN? HOW? so exciting!! AND! OMG YES!! When Aaliyah was like " I want to know about the tape" I was like vocally "YEAH ME TOO ALBUS SEVERUS". I mean i really want to know so fingers crossed that albus does not dilly dally and actually tell excited for the hopefully revelations next chapter!! I still haven't forgotten the wink. Why did Ronan wink at albus.. and that time she was staring at them in the great hall before the match. I was actually expecting her to visit him at the hospital. I don't know i just have a feeling about her. Like she knows something. Im not entirely sure what she knows. Whether she's in cahoots with albus and this was her plan? Or with fred? She definitely interests me as much if not more than the tape. And also of Aaliyah being the "King" because for some reason and it might seem shallow my head keeps saying that when you play chess, everyone protects the King. Especially the Queen. Who James coincidentally said is Albus. So yes, this entire thing is interesting. It's almost like watching a melo-drama with hints of mystery in them. I love it! And omg was that me who got a shoutout! That's so sweet! Hahaha thank you! But your write this wonderful story who's been giving me comfort for awhile now so there's no need. Much love dear and I hope and look forward to the next update!! Xoxo

Author's Response: Your reviews always make me smile and laugh! At parts I was grinning like mad, no joke.

Is it longer than usual? I actually hadn't noticed. Word count just tends to differ each chapter. I am always nervous that readers will get bored if I give a chapter that too long haha. So thanks for reassuring me!

Yes, Rose and Albus had a heart to heart! Rose isn't one of favorite characters in this story but I couldn't just make her hate Aaliyah for no reason, you know? So I thought this chapter would be a good place to have her explain herself. It's so cool that you relate to her. That's one of my goals as an author: write relatable characters. I totally understand the cousin thing. Becoming protective of family is just an instinct. Rose has had that instinct ever since Hugo was born I think.

In my head, Lily Potter is supposed to be sassy, hence I made her sassy. But she cares a lot about her brothers. I'm glad you liked her!

What is going on between Gabby and James? I have utterly no clue. ;)

Annie and Scorpius could be sibling friends. And then Scorpius can keep excessively dropping hints about Blaine haha. Aww Blaine, so shy for a Slytherin. He'll talk to her... one day.

The title is sort of a mystery itself. In my original summary of the story I tried to explain it but it didn't work out so well. I unintentionally made sense of it this chapter and a reader noticed it... yay! Hmm... I don't know about crossing the borderline... I mean if you cross it you can never go back... dangerous place really. I'm kidding, they will eventually cross it. *fingers crossed*

It's coming out all next chapter! The story behind the tape will be out for you guys to read. It's weird knowing that I'm going to reveal it, but I'm excited!

The wink. That'll come out in a few chapters (Chapter 18 to be exact). And that's all I'm going to say because I'm an evil author. Okay I give in... one more hint: it doesn't have anything to do with Fred.

Everyone does protect the king in chess. I actually can't play the game for the life of me but I thought it would be a good comparison.

You were one of the ones who got a shoutout! Thank you for all your lovely reviews! They give me a lot of motivation and put a smile on my face.

I hope the story lives up to expectations and the next chapter should be up next week. Thanks again!!


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Review #30, by Pullynnhah Albus: The Wing

9th July 2015:
I`m terrible at reviews so I`ll be quick .love your story!!! Can`t wait for more:)

Author's Response: It's alright! I'm terrible at responses as well. ;) I'm glad you're liking it so far! I love hearing from readers so thank you for taking the time to drop me this review. The next chapter shouldn't take too long.

Thank you for your kind words,

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Review #31, by asdfghjkl Albus: The Wing

9th July 2015:
Everytime I see a new update for this story I get giddy! I love reading from albus' pov. His character is so complex (I mean they all are but its kinda neat to get a look inside his head once in a while). I love that we got to see more lily in this chapter! And I like the progression into her asking about the tape. It's good I think that she didn't do it right away after james told her to ask albus. And I mean obviously he was injured not long after so there were other things to worry about, but she seems so set in knowing about it that it shows how much she really cares for albus that she didn't push it on him right away! Update soon!

Author's Response: Yay, someone likes reading Albus's pov. It always feels like more people prefer Aaliyah but I like switching between the two. I get what you mean about him being complex. He's different from the rest. I think that's what makes it neat to look inside his head. Haha yes, Lily! I've been wanting to bring her back for some time. I'm glad you liked seeing her!

I love it when readers notice details and you noticed one that even I overlooked. Aaliyah had to put her curiosity on hold but it will pay off. We'll be finding out next chapter. And she does care about him even if she won't tell him that directly.

I'm going to try and get the next chapter up in a week so it shouldn't be too long. Thank you for taking the time to write such a sweet review!!


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Review #32, by Anon Aaliyah: The Match

4th July 2015:
I'm so glad you've stuck with this story! This chapter was amazing, I love quidditch scenes in particular and you described yours so well. I really want to know what's the deal with Rose, and also with James and Gabby. Aaliyah and ALbus kill me, but what's new? Hope you update soon!

Author's Response: I was really nervous about writing a Quidditch scene and it seemed like it lasted forever haha. I'm glad you liked it! We'll learn more about Rose in the next chapter which will hopefully be up in the next few days. Albus and Aaliyah are always fun to write. Thank you for the review! I loved hearing your thoughts!


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Review #33, by happyanon Aaliyah: The Match

3rd July 2015:
DELAY. WOMAN.. i feared of abandoned!! I missed them so much and its such a beautiful story. And god I love aaliyah and albus so much and i missed them so much im in a rough patch right now but im really happy that some of my fave fics have been updating lately. Pls never leave us hanging for such a long time again. I really miss it. To more scenes like these. To more gentle scenes like the smile and more lines like "i want to touch that rare smile"

Author's Response: I hope I won't ever have to abandon this story, don't worry! I missed writing Al and Aaliyah too! School got in the way as usual and I'm a really slow writer, forgive me? I totally understand what you mean about favorite fics updating. That's always exciting when that happens. I'll try my best to update timely. Chapter 14 should be coming in less than a week. Thank you for the sweet review! It gives me more motivation to write and brought a smile to my face!


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Review #34, by greenbirds Albus: The Decision

17th April 2015:
i'm really liking it so far! you have such a way with characters- i'm always so impressed when people can change the tone of thought for each person when switching narrative, and you really pull it off. aaliyah sounds cool and i like how you've portrayed her in a way that she isn't the typical lily potter prototype of being feisty and brave and loud and stuff (you know?)- she's her own person, i really like that. and i love the difference in albus's attitude he gives to aaliyah, all cool and nonchalant, compared to how he really is haha- and i'm really liking scorpius too!
looking foward to reading the rest xx

Author's Response: aw thank you! that's always great to hear! i think the only reason the tones are different is because albus and aaliyah are so different. and albus has that 'i'm-too-cool-for-school' vibe, you know? i think the reason aaliyah isn't a lily potter prototype is because i would crash and burn if i tried to write someone fiesty and so brave. it would seem so unrealistic because i'm not like that myself so i have hard time writing a character like that. and scorpius is a babe. i sometimes wonder if it's obvious that a girl is writing him since he has that inner gossip girl vibe.

thank you for taking the time to write your thoughts. it's always great to hear from readers. and you gave me an excuse to write in all lowercase which is always fun!


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Review #35, by wolfgirl17 Albus: The Confrontations

3rd March 2015:

Wolfgirl here with your requested review.

So now I feel totally bad because I'd already read this one too and must've just forgotten to review. Like a airhead. *attempts to deflate it and gets distracted by something shiny*

Anyways, I love this story. I'm more curious with each new sentence you give us and I simply must have more.

I actually don't mind the choppiness of this chapter. It really keeps it moving along and you have a knack for not getting bogged down in a scene, while still conveying it and it's purpose in the story very clearly. A very nifty skill that I wish I had *attempts to steal your skills and gets distracted by another shiny object*

No but really, you're writing is enthralling. There is just something about it that has me wanting to push that next button again and again until there are no more chapters, and then I want to shamelessly beg for more. You've got this knack for weaving a web of intrigue that I wish I had and that I'm super jealous of. I can't do what you can. I always end up giving away the idea or sticking the characters together before I need them to be together for the continuation of plot (hence having so many incomplete WIPs).

You have a serious gift. Keep it up. I have to have more =)


Author's Response: Ellie! Shiny objects are always distracting! I totally feel you.

You are honestly too sweet! Like your compliments are actually making me have the false hope that I can actually *gasp* write a good story.

It's really hard to not give away everything. Like I have to rethink if I want to reveal something at a certain point or not. And then I still doubt myself if I was supposed to give that information away. I think the best part is that I've gotten to the point of the story where more things are coming out so no more holding back.

And there is nothing to be jealous of. You have the amazing skill to write as much as you do. You have so many stories published in such a short amount of time... it's amazing! You should be proud of yourself!

Thanks so much for the warm-hearted review!

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Review #36, by happyanon Aaliyah: The Aftermath

11th February 2015:
I really don't quite understand Aaliyah's explanation on why she ignored albus. Also what tape!? I'M SO CONFUSED. Did I miss something. Alos correct me if I'm wrong, gabby and james faked a relationship to protect everyone from ronan. Okay. Next they broke up and i dont really get it either but i think albus was it? Someone said they might havr feelings for each otHer. So now albus is fake dating aaliyah to protect the pthers too? I'M also puzzled when they said aaliyah was king. Al's queen? The queen protects the king tho. So thats exciting. I wish all revelations are clear already i really like this fanfic. I love how you made Albus' character. Also your description about " The hero doesn't know he's a hero yet". Is it Albus? This is a lovely story but i hope you update more. Much love xoxo P.S we all know they are so gonna have feelings for each other but i love it hahaha p.p.s That hug scene and lost puppy convo was the cutest ever. *sigh i need to find a guy like this character haha

Author's Response: I'm sorry for not explaining it well. Basically, she's embarrassed that Albus saw her vulnerable. She's disappointed with herself that one little meeting with Fred affected her so much. And Albus is Fred's cousin so it kind of puts her in an awkward position. Albus and Aaliyah may be becoming friends but they aren't super close like how James and her are or Seth and her. Avoiding him is kind of her way of coping. She needs to accept that she broke down in front of him first before she can look him straight in the eye and not feel weird about it. So yeah... I hope that helps. I'll try and go back and edit that chapter to make it less confusing. :)

No, you didn't miss anything. You aren't supposed to know about the tape just yet. That scene was kind of setting up for another scene in chapter fourteen. :)

Yeah, Gabby and James faked a relationship for about almost a year which is a long time and Gabby finally wanted out. They did it to distract Ronan from their friends and family's social lives. And yes, Albus and Aaliyah are faking a relationship to do the exact same thing they did because they figure they should step up to the plate and also because they feel like they owe Gabby and James.

Yes, the king and queen thing was sort of a riddle. Now that I think about it most of this chapter was a riddle. I'm sorry about that. A lot of your questions are going to be answered in future chapters though. :)

Is the hero Albus? I don't know, we shall see. ;) Okay I give in. Yes, the hero is Albus. I always get really excited when someone says they like Albus! Maybe because he's a hard character to grow fond of but he's actually really sweet (well sometimes). I'm really glad you like the hug scene! For some reason I like writing Aaliyah and Albus falling asleep next to each other or hugging or something like that.

I'll try my best to update though I have a feeling I won't be able to get another chapter out before March but we'll see.

My response is like a whole essay but oh well. Thank you so much for leaving your thoughts. I always love reading your reviews!! They definitely give me insight on what things I need to fix when I edit previous chapters.


p.s. I know right, I wish I could find a real life Albus too! I think I tend to have crushes on fictional characters more often than real people lol. :P Probably a side effect of reading so much. :D

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Review #37, by Aakanksha Aaliyah: The Aftermath

27th January 2015:
I really like the way this is going.I just love the way Albus is opening up to Aaliyah. There is so much more in him that he actually shows, especially after the kind, caring person you made him in the last chapter, I might just fall in love.
Aaliyah has been in my mind since the day I started reading this, she is someone who I would like to have as a friend. Any chances that you are like her too?
Anyways I really like this story, its one of my favourites right now.

Author's Response: There is more to Albus. I'm so glad that you can see that! Yes, I've gotten a reader to fall in love with him! I think I just accomplished my goal as an author lol. To be honest... I kind of love Albus too... even more than Scorpius sometimes which is saying something since I adore Scorpius. :P

Aaliyah has the most of me in her, I think. She's a Ravenclaw, she cares about her classes, she tries her best to keep calm in situations and she can be sassy at times... so yeah I am like her in a lot of ways. I think a lot of authors tend to have their main characters like them.

This review is so sweet, I can definitely hug it! Thank you for the thoughtful review. I now have a huge smile on my face. :D


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Review #38, by asdfghjkl Aaliyah: The Aftermath

26th January 2015:
I have to admit, after the breakdown scene I really didn't know what was gonna happen. But Im pleasantly surprised by this chapter! I really like the way you ended it, with Albus confronting her and everything. I can't wait for the next chapter! I love Quidditch scenes! They're always so much fun to read! Upload the next chapter soon, I'm really looking forward to it :)

Author's Response: It's hard to predict what's going to happen when there is a turning point, I think. I find myself not knowing what to expect in other stories as well haha. I'm glad you liked the way I ended it. I really wanted the scene to come out perfect but I then realized that Albus and Aaliyah aren't perfect so no matter what the scene can't come out flawless. It wouldn't do them justice, I think.

Yes, Quidditch! I am actually very nervous since I usually don't write Quidditch scenes... at all. This will actually be a first. But I'm excited.

Thank you for the wonderful review, as always. :D


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Review #39, by DessieWeasley Albus: The Breakdown

25th January 2015:
This story is really good. Update soon

Author's Response: Aw thank you! I think your review is really good, not the story. Your few words made me smile. Thank you and the next chapter is posted. :D


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Review #40, by asdfghjkl Albus: The Breakdown

15th January 2015:
Wow. This story just keeps getting more and more intense. I didn't really know what to expect with this chapter after I finished the last one, but I really like it. Everything seems to sort of fall together in a sad sort of way. I can't wait for the next chapter, hopefully you are able to update soon! After this scene, obviously something is bound to change between them (and by the looks of it, it'll be something pretty big). I'm excited to see where Al and Aaliyah go from here!

Author's Response: Hiya!
I sometimes feel very intimidated by reviews because they are so sweet and I can never come up with a good enough response to them.

I love how you think that everything fell together even when she's falling apart. Because it is falling together... sort of. Not in the most easy way but it is.

Yes, their relationship will change. They make take some tumbles and falls along the way but it will. I, myself, am excited to see where they go lol.

Thank you for the lovely review! And thanks for sticking with this story! It means the world to me.

P.S. The next chapter is already up. I hope it didn't take too long.

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Review #41, by Ilsuarez Albus: The Breakdown

12th January 2015:
That was beautiful ❤️ This is turning out so well! I'm so excited to see where you go from here. Hope fully we'll see Al have his more vulnerable moment with here but OMG I Hopenshe acknowledges what he's done for her here IVODOCJAOXJ FEEELIINNGGSSS!

I kind of feel sorry for Fred :( but this was my favourite chapter so far! PLS update soon!!

Author's Response: Aw, this is your favorite chapter? It's actually one of my favorites to write too. :D

Albus? Vulnerable? I don't think he likes to associate himself with that word. :P But yes, I'm planning for him to have a moment so your prediction is correct. ^_^ Albus Potter's walls are coming down... well at some point. :)

Yay! Someone feels sorry for Fred! Most people don't like him too much which I understand but he's Fred, George Weasley's son. He had to be likable at some point, right?

ASDFGHYREOIL is my feelings for this review! thank you so much for your kind words!! and the next chapter is posted. ;)


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Review #42, by wolfgirl17 Aaliyah: The Reaction

11th January 2015:
Ooh it's just getting better and better.

Ic an't wait to read more. I definitely think that Seth thought having Ellie dropping those hints meant that Aaliyah was into him and to suddenly find out she's not is killing him. It's a very Hermione reaction to a Ron/Lav situation. He's totally jealous.

I can't wait to see what comes of his jealousy too. I'm intrigued by the other Ravenclaws, and by the way you had Albus drop the bomb on her friends like that.

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hello again!

It gets better and better? I think you are spoiling me into thinking my writing is actually good. :P But thank you, I now have a huge smile on my face! :D

Seth is jealous, I'll give you that. And Ellie dropping hints made him realize that he may have a crush on Aaliyah. Poor Seth. Unrequited feelings can be a bummer.

And I love you that you mentioned Hermione's reaction to the Ron/Lavender situation.

Albus likes causing awkwardness, I think. He's kind of Slytherin-y like that. :P And he finds the whole situation more amusing than he lets on.

Your reviews really make my day! THANK YOU! *hands over chocolate*


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Review #43, by wolfgirl17 Albus: The Decision

11th January 2015:
Hello again.

Me here with your second review =)

So I know you were worried that the switch in POVs would interrupt the flow, but I don't think it does. I actually prefer stories like this where the POV switches because it means the reader gets a glimpse of the thoughts and feelings each of the characters are dealing with.

I actually really liked this chapter too and a huge kudos to you for managing to have such differing personalities for Albus and Aaliyah. It's not an easy feat to write several characters in a first person narration and have them still have differing personalities because as an author your own personality bleeds into fist person narration much more than in third person.

I do like the way you have them both coming across as a little snarky, which I'm assuming is a hint of your own sassiness showing through and making them all the more likable and all the more exciting as characters.

This chapter could probably do with an edit, you've just got a couple of missing words in some of the sentences that could use touching up to make this chapter perfect =)

You've definitely hooked me now, and so I find myself needing to press that next button to keep reading. I can't wait to see where you're going to go with this and I'm even more intrigued to find out Aaliyah's secrets and what Fred did to her and why this Ronan girl is so nasty.

You are weaving a masterpiece here and I find myself needing to continue to enjoy it. =)

Seriously fantastic chapter and such a brilliant story!


Author's Response: Hello. Sorry for taking so long to reply!

When I was originally planning the story, the POV switch wasn't the way I wanted to do it but specific scenes in my mind were from specific points of views so it ended up being a switch every chapter. :) It's great to hear that the flow works even with it.

I think it is easier for me to write from the point of view of two characters in first person rather than third person. Third person for me gets a bit confusing haha. Their personalities come out different, don't they? I sometimes wonder how they get along when they don't relate much to each other. :P

Me? Sassy? Nooo... okay maybe just a little. The sassiness does come from me... I can't really help not putting it into my characters as well lol.

I'm actually planning to go back and edit the beginning chapters as you recommended since even one writing mistake pops out to the reader easily. :D

I don't think anyone has called Ronan nasty yet so that is a first! I think I'll add that to the list of words describing her. :P

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! And thank you for all the compliments, I'm undeserving but thank you so so much!


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Review #44, by Dangos Albus: The Breakdown

11th January 2015:
Hi! I just wanted to say that your story is really interesting, I like it a lot. Also, I could tell how much the you liked this scene just by reading it. The interactions were perfect and Al was being so sweet! You could tell that you had put a lot of thought into this scene. I can't wait for more! :)

Author's Response: You like it a lot? Thank you, that's great to hear! This is a favorite scene for me... I think it's because I get to show the sort of soft and protective side of Albus and that what happened with Fred can still get to Aaliyah at times.

Yes, Al was being sweet! *gasp* I think Aaliyah's growing on him and changing him a tad but it is for the better.

Thank you so much for taking the time to drop me your thoughts! I loved you reading your terrific review. And I can't wait to write more for you to read. :)


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Review #45, by WhiteFeather Albus: The Breakdown

11th January 2015:
This is a really sweet scene! I hope this is when they start to develop real feelings, because this is really intimate and shows that they have the potential to care for each other properly.
Update soon please! :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad you think that. It was supposed to be an emotional scene between the two of them. And Albus is actually being sweet through all of it so it's a big step for him I guess. And who knows? Maybe they will start developing feelings for each other. ;) *hint hint*

And I'll definitely try my best to get the next chapter out asap! :)


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Review #46, by happyanon Albus: The Breakdown

11th January 2015:
Ohhh THAT FRED UGH! CHEATING IS CHEATING. NOTHING WILL EVER EXCUSE THAT ACTION OMG. It was such a beautiful chapter. It was so fragile and emotional and heartfelt and sad at the same time. I love how albus didnt kiss her when she asked. I love how albus was gentle without being annoying. I love the forehead kisses. I love that he had her in his lap and can i just say how beautiful that line is? "I DO THE SAME WITH MY ARMS STILL TIGHTLY WOVEN AROUND HER TRYING TO PROTECT HER FROM THE WORLD". Because Albus actually cares for her, because he said trying. Because albus somehow understood that he can only try. Its both beautiful and tragic. Because I can feel how aaliyah felt. The hurt, confusion,realization all dancing with each other. It's all so beautifully sad. I love this chapter. Because I could feel the emotions. Also thank you for the fast update. I look forward to the next ones. P.S i still wanna know why Ronan winked at albus that time. Much love! Xoxo

Author's Response: Fred is frustrating, isn't he? I mean he's supposed to be the funny and carefree and lovable one and now he's brooding and alone. And now he's bothering Aaliyah again even after all he has done. :( I feel like I'm painting him to be a bad guy which he really isn't... he's just confused.

I'm was aiming for exactly that: fragile and emotional and heartfelt. I'm so glad you thought it came out that way!

That was actually my favorite line to write because I really did feel like Albus' instinct right then and there was to protect her. ^_^ Yes, he does care for her! It feels like a big moment... for some reason I feel like this moment has shown that he's grown as a person.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE how you understand the story so well! A reader that pays attention makes me feel like I'm writing their story right.

Thank you so much!! This review really touched me.


P.S. That wink. ;) It's actually really important so I'm pleased that you remember that and the reason will come out some chapters later but it will come out, I assure you. And I will try to get another fast update out (in a week maybe?) just because of how it took me to get Chapter 10 out.

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Review #47, by wolfgirl17 Aaliyah: The Meeting

11th January 2015:
Oh my gosh Sama!

I don't know how you even found anything to include in your Areas of Concern. Seriously, this chapter has it all. It's everything a first chapter is supposed to be. It's got so many great plot foundations, so many hidden secrets and gems to lure me into reading more. So much characterization that I'm going to wind up professing my love to you before the story is through.

Seriously, as of right now this is on my list of favorites. I really, really enjoyed your story. I want to read more and more and more. I love the personality you've breathed into Aaliyah and Albus. I love the way you've painted such a villain in Ronan.

I'm itching to know what secrets they are trying to protect and why James and Gabby had to fake a relationship. You've hooked me. It's official that I am one hundred percent lost to this story. All other Next-Gens need not apply, nothing will top this and it's only the first chapter.

But seriously now, down to the nitty gritty stuff, you do have a couple of very small mistakes in spelling that could do with fixing, like I think there is an incident where you wrote 'difference' and meant 'differences' but I really had to dig for that one just to give you any kind of concrit on this review at all.

It's just so good. How have you managed it? Why can't all authors have writing of such a high quality as you?

You simply must continue requestng reviews from me because if you don't you're going to get them anyway, only with less structure.

The flow of the story is fast-paced but I like it. It works with where you seem to be taking this. The characterization is to die for. Seriously. I've not read anything with such an exciting intro to some new characters in a long time so a huge pile of kudos to you for that!

Please type as fast as you can to get more posted for me to devour! I love it. It's fantastic. I must have more!


Author's Response: I literally woke up this morning to your review and I read it on my ipod and I just kept smiling and I'm STILL smiling now. :D

I honestly don't think any response from me will match the sweetness of your review. I sometimes feel like I don't give enough information to my readers so I always rethink if I should tell them this or if I should reveal this earlier or later. And yay, you like Aaliyah, Albus and Ronan.

I'm so happy that you like this story so much that you are showering me with so many compliments that I don't deserve. And there are many other Next Gen stories that are amazing like Clash by shenanigans and justonemorefic's etc etc.

I'm not very good at revising and editing so thank you so much for pointing out that mistake. I'll have to add that on my list of things to fix when I go over and edit the beginning chapters again.

And I'll definitely try and re-request some more reviews from your lovely self.

The first chapter is a bit fast-paced but it slows down a bit, that's kind of why I put pace as an area of concern.

I'm planning to start writing the next chapter today so you won't have to wait too long I hope.

Thank you SO much for taking the time to stop by. It means a lot and thank you for taking the time to find a way I can make the story better!

And to answer you question of how I managed it is definitely because of the wonderful feedback and suggestions I get. :)


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Review #48, by happyanon Aaliyah: The Warning

9th January 2015:
I did my waiting!!! Like oh my god! Uggg asdfghkl!! Are we finally getting the answers? Hmm Ronan isn't as mean as i thought. Sure she puts her nose where it doesnt belong but people enjoy gossip and if she can give it to them then yey fpr her. Also, shes good at what she does so i find that great. I mean sure its not nice but its great im curious tho on the reason why she is in hufflepuff. Aww we didnt see any Albus.. i miss albus and aaliyah.. im so happy u updated. Pls update again soon. Its been far too long. Much love! Xoxo

Author's Response: I'm tremendously sorry for making you wait so long!! I'm a horrible author.

Yes, you are finally getting answers! This is Ronan being a little nice hehe but a person can't always be mean, right? There is actually a reason Albus isn't in this chapter. There were so many times I was like 'I need to put Albus in here' but then I was like 'Wait, no I can't'. He's in the next chapter though, I assure you!

I'm actually going to try and get the chapter up this weekend so you won't have to wait that long! :)

Thanks for taking the time to leave a review. I loved reading your thoughts and questions! ^_^


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Review #49, by UnluckyStar57 Albus: The Confrontations

31st August 2014:
Hey there! I'm back to review chapter four--a little bit faster this time, yay! :D

Okay, so having Albus's point of view after he made me so angry in the last chapter was pretty good. He isn't as overtly jerkish and horrible as he was in the last chapter, which made me happy. I guess it just took a PoV switch and some more character development, whoohoo! :D

Wow, Charlotte Ronan is basically the worst. Why would she write a whole newspaper article about how Albus and Aaliyah won't make it as a couple because of his "lack of experience" and her inability to learn from the past? That's just awful. I hate her for being so shallow and awful, but if that's the kind of articles that she writes about everyone, I can see why Al and Aaliyah decided to start fake-dating in the first place. It definitely takes a lot of pressure off the other kids who just want to live their lives without a school newspaper journalist trying to interfere.

One thing: When Albus was talking to Rose, he said that red-heads are good at arguing. Earlier, Rose was described as having brown hair. Just a continuity error, I think.

I'm glad that Al and Rose are friends though. It establishes an interesting dynamic, especially since she isn't too fond of his new girlfriend. Where will that go? Will Aaliyah and Rose end up reconciling their differences? It's too early to tell at this point, but I sure hope that Rose doesn't just hate Aaliyah for no reason. That would be kind of shallow of her.

Gabby and Al are friends, but Aaliyah was never friends with him. Did the two families hang around together a lot as children? How did Gabby get to know Al so well? And why is he always so removed and closed off from the general population? I guess it's good that the slightly-misogynistic side of him that I disliked so much in chapter three is probably just an act, but why did he choose to act that way? He's nice to Gabby; why does he have to be so rude to Aaliyah? And does he really like her, as he assures Gabby that he does? All the questions are being asked today, sorry! :)

Whoa, Scorpius. Whoa. Don't be that way. Ugh, he seems like he's kind of a womanizer/player type, what with his comment about Aaliyah as she walked away. I hope that, if he ever starts dating Rose, she'll put him back in line very quickly!

Al has to make a list about Aaliyah's finer attributes--obviously that's not going well for him. Does he know nothing at all about her, save for her physical appearance?! He'd better figure it out quite quickly. I know that everything is operating on a very superficial level at this point, so I hope that as the story progresses, he finds more things to like about her.

Uh oh... What is Fred's problem with Al's new girlfriend? It appears that he might have dated her before, but why is he still so bitter about it? Did he act like a jerk all the time? Whatever the reason for their break up might be, it appears that the Al/Aaliyah thing is going to cause some tension in the Wotter clan, what with Rose and Fred being weird about it. I'm interested to know where that will go!

Very good chapter! I am quite intrigued by the personalities of Rose, Scorpius, and Fred, and I can't wait to see how Al and Aaliyah's relationship progresses, especially when they're around their family members. :)


Author's Response: Yay, Albus is growing! And yay for character development!

Charlotte Ronan is the worst lol but a negative character gives a good contrast to the other characters. She does interfere a lot... I would call her nosy but I think Ronan would want to be a called a more sophisticated word like well-informed. :P

Did I put her as having brown hair? It's been a long time since I've looked at that chapter. I need to look over it again. She's supposed to have red-brown hair, more auburn than bright ginger.

Rose doesn't hate Aaliyah for no reason. That wouldn't make much sense now, would it? Her reasons are there but they aren't very good ones. They may reconcile but that would probably be much later.

The two families did hang around together as children since they live near each other; however, while James and Aaliyah hit it off so did Gabby and Albus. The two pairs kind of kept to their own bubble. Al had always been a quiet kid growing up and being the middle child, he was used to getting the least attention since Lily was/is the baby of the family while James is just a very loud person, you know? After he got into Slytherin, his isolated nature kind of solidified more and you have to consider that he is only Potter/Weasley in that house so... yeah. His rude nature is his barrier in a way. If you can see that he is good person, you'll stick around and break that barrier. He doesn't have a crush on Aaliyah (well not yet anyway) but he's interested in her. She's his curiosity. And I love your questions, feel free to ask more!

Scropius isn't actually a womanizer... he's too hung up on Rose for that but his personality makes it seem like it, doesn't it? And he'll probably be making comments about Aaliyah throughout the story to get Albus more riled up and more interested in her if that makes any sense. He sees that Aaliyah will be good for Albus so he kind of wants them to end up liking each other for real.

That list just shows how much they don't know about each other but they will... it'll just take time.

Fred isn't actually a jerk all the time. He used to be just what you expected George's son to be: funny, fun-loving, carefree. His relationship with Aaliyah kind of changed that. And feelings do make people bitter. (*cough* He still likes her *cough*) ;)

The rest of the Wotter clan's reactions will be in chapter six but they won't be as negative as Fred and Rose.

Thank you for the great review! I had the best time reading it. Your questions and observations get me to think more about the story and characters which is a good thing. :) Thanks again! ^_^


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Review #50, by British obsessed Aaliyah: The Date

22nd August 2014:
I hope blaine and annie happens. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Aww, I hope Blaine and Annie happen too. Now to get Annie to like Blaine...

Thank you for taking the time to drop a review (actually reviews). I had an terrific time reading all of them and hopefully I can get the next chapter up soon! :D


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