Reading Reviews for Crossing the Borderline
  
119 Reviews Found

Review #26, by asdfghjkl Aaliyah: The Aftermath

26th January 2015:
I have to admit, after the breakdown scene I really didn't know what was gonna happen. But Im pleasantly surprised by this chapter! I really like the way you ended it, with Albus confronting her and everything. I can't wait for the next chapter! I love Quidditch scenes! They're always so much fun to read! Upload the next chapter soon, I'm really looking forward to it :)

Author's Response: It's hard to predict what's going to happen when there is a turning point, I think. I find myself not knowing what to expect in other stories as well haha. I'm glad you liked the way I ended it. I really wanted the scene to come out perfect but I then realized that Albus and Aaliyah aren't perfect so no matter what the scene can't come out flawless. It wouldn't do them justice, I think.

Yes, Quidditch! I am actually very nervous since I usually don't write Quidditch scenes... at all. This will actually be a first. But I'm excited.

Thank you for the wonderful review, as always. :D

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #27, by DessieWeasley Albus: The Breakdown

25th January 2015:
This story is really good. Update soon

Author's Response: Aw thank you! I think your review is really good, not the story. Your few words made me smile. Thank you and the next chapter is posted. :D

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #28, by asdfghjkl Albus: The Breakdown

15th January 2015:
Wow. This story just keeps getting more and more intense. I didn't really know what to expect with this chapter after I finished the last one, but I really like it. Everything seems to sort of fall together in a sad sort of way. I can't wait for the next chapter, hopefully you are able to update soon! After this scene, obviously something is bound to change between them (and by the looks of it, it'll be something pretty big). I'm excited to see where Al and Aaliyah go from here!

Author's Response: Hiya!
I sometimes feel very intimidated by reviews because they are so sweet and I can never come up with a good enough response to them.

I love how you think that everything fell together even when she's falling apart. Because it is falling together... sort of. Not in the most easy way but it is.

Yes, their relationship will change. They make take some tumbles and falls along the way but it will. I, myself, am excited to see where they go lol.

Thank you for the lovely review! And thanks for sticking with this story! It means the world to me.

~Sama
P.S. The next chapter is already up. I hope it didn't take too long.


 Report Review

Review #29, by Ilsuarez Albus: The Breakdown

12th January 2015:
That was beautiful ❤️ This is turning out so well! I'm so excited to see where you go from here. Hope fully we'll see Al have his more vulnerable moment with here but OMG I Hopenshe acknowledges what he's done for her here IVODOCJAOXJ FEEELIINNGGSSS!

I kind of feel sorry for Fred :( but this was my favourite chapter so far! PLS update soon!!

Author's Response: Aw, this is your favorite chapter? It's actually one of my favorites to write too. :D

Albus? Vulnerable? I don't think he likes to associate himself with that word. :P But yes, I'm planning for him to have a moment so your prediction is correct. ^_^ Albus Potter's walls are coming down... well at some point. :)

Yay! Someone feels sorry for Fred! Most people don't like him too much which I understand but he's Fred, George Weasley's son. He had to be likable at some point, right?

ASDFGHYREOIL is my feelings for this review! thank you so much for your kind words!! and the next chapter is posted. ;)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #30, by wolfgirl17 Aaliyah: The Reaction

11th January 2015:
Ooh it's just getting better and better.

Ic an't wait to read more. I definitely think that Seth thought having Ellie dropping those hints meant that Aaliyah was into him and to suddenly find out she's not is killing him. It's a very Hermione reaction to a Ron/Lav situation. He's totally jealous.

I can't wait to see what comes of his jealousy too. I'm intrigued by the other Ravenclaws, and by the way you had Albus drop the bomb on her friends like that.

Great chapter!

xx-Wolfgirl

Author's Response: Hello again!

It gets better and better? I think you are spoiling me into thinking my writing is actually good. :P But thank you, I now have a huge smile on my face! :D

Seth is jealous, I'll give you that. And Ellie dropping hints made him realize that he may have a crush on Aaliyah. Poor Seth. Unrequited feelings can be a bummer.

And I love you that you mentioned Hermione's reaction to the Ron/Lavender situation.

Albus likes causing awkwardness, I think. He's kind of Slytherin-y like that. :P And he finds the whole situation more amusing than he lets on.

Your reviews really make my day! THANK YOU! *hands over chocolate*

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #31, by wolfgirl17 Albus: The Decision

11th January 2015:
Hello again.

Me here with your second review =)

So I know you were worried that the switch in POVs would interrupt the flow, but I don't think it does. I actually prefer stories like this where the POV switches because it means the reader gets a glimpse of the thoughts and feelings each of the characters are dealing with.

I actually really liked this chapter too and a huge kudos to you for managing to have such differing personalities for Albus and Aaliyah. It's not an easy feat to write several characters in a first person narration and have them still have differing personalities because as an author your own personality bleeds into fist person narration much more than in third person.

I do like the way you have them both coming across as a little snarky, which I'm assuming is a hint of your own sassiness showing through and making them all the more likable and all the more exciting as characters.

This chapter could probably do with an edit, you've just got a couple of missing words in some of the sentences that could use touching up to make this chapter perfect =)

You've definitely hooked me now, and so I find myself needing to press that next button to keep reading. I can't wait to see where you're going to go with this and I'm even more intrigued to find out Aaliyah's secrets and what Fred did to her and why this Ronan girl is so nasty.

You are weaving a masterpiece here and I find myself needing to continue to enjoy it. =)

Seriously fantastic chapter and such a brilliant story!

xx-Wolfgirl

Author's Response: Hello. Sorry for taking so long to reply!

When I was originally planning the story, the POV switch wasn't the way I wanted to do it but specific scenes in my mind were from specific points of views so it ended up being a switch every chapter. :) It's great to hear that the flow works even with it.

I think it is easier for me to write from the point of view of two characters in first person rather than third person. Third person for me gets a bit confusing haha. Their personalities come out different, don't they? I sometimes wonder how they get along when they don't relate much to each other. :P

Me? Sassy? Nooo... okay maybe just a little. The sassiness does come from me... I can't really help not putting it into my characters as well lol.

I'm actually planning to go back and edit the beginning chapters as you recommended since even one writing mistake pops out to the reader easily. :D

I don't think anyone has called Ronan nasty yet so that is a first! I think I'll add that to the list of words describing her. :P

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! And thank you for all the compliments, I'm undeserving but thank you so so much!

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #32, by Dangos Albus: The Breakdown

11th January 2015:
Hi! I just wanted to say that your story is really interesting, I like it a lot. Also, I could tell how much the you liked this scene just by reading it. The interactions were perfect and Al was being so sweet! You could tell that you had put a lot of thought into this scene. I can't wait for more! :)

Author's Response: You like it a lot? Thank you, that's great to hear! This is a favorite scene for me... I think it's because I get to show the sort of soft and protective side of Albus and that what happened with Fred can still get to Aaliyah at times.

Yes, Al was being sweet! *gasp* I think Aaliyah's growing on him and changing him a tad but it is for the better.

Thank you so much for taking the time to drop me your thoughts! I loved you reading your terrific review. And I can't wait to write more for you to read. :)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #33, by WhiteFeather Albus: The Breakdown

11th January 2015:
This is a really sweet scene! I hope this is when they start to develop real feelings, because this is really intimate and shows that they have the potential to care for each other properly.
Update soon please! :)

Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad you think that. It was supposed to be an emotional scene between the two of them. And Albus is actually being sweet through all of it so it's a big step for him I guess. And who knows? Maybe they will start developing feelings for each other. ;) *hint hint*

And I'll definitely try my best to get the next chapter out asap! :)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #34, by happyanon Albus: The Breakdown

11th January 2015:
Ohhh THAT FRED UGH! CHEATING IS CHEATING. NOTHING WILL EVER EXCUSE THAT ACTION OMG. It was such a beautiful chapter. It was so fragile and emotional and heartfelt and sad at the same time. I love how albus didnt kiss her when she asked. I love how albus was gentle without being annoying. I love the forehead kisses. I love that he had her in his lap and can i just say how beautiful that line is? "I DO THE SAME WITH MY ARMS STILL TIGHTLY WOVEN AROUND HER TRYING TO PROTECT HER FROM THE WORLD". Because Albus actually cares for her, because he said trying. Because albus somehow understood that he can only try. Its both beautiful and tragic. Because I can feel how aaliyah felt. The hurt, confusion,realization all dancing with each other. It's all so beautifully sad. I love this chapter. Because I could feel the emotions. Also thank you for the fast update. I look forward to the next ones. P.S i still wanna know why Ronan winked at albus that time. Much love! Xoxo

Author's Response: Fred is frustrating, isn't he? I mean he's supposed to be the funny and carefree and lovable one and now he's brooding and alone. And now he's bothering Aaliyah again even after all he has done. :( I feel like I'm painting him to be a bad guy which he really isn't... he's just confused.

I'm was aiming for exactly that: fragile and emotional and heartfelt. I'm so glad you thought it came out that way!

That was actually my favorite line to write because I really did feel like Albus' instinct right then and there was to protect her. ^_^ Yes, he does care for her! It feels like a big moment... for some reason I feel like this moment has shown that he's grown as a person.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE how you understand the story so well! A reader that pays attention makes me feel like I'm writing their story right.

Thank you so much!! This review really touched me.

~Sama

P.S. That wink. ;) It's actually really important so I'm pleased that you remember that and the reason will come out some chapters later but it will come out, I assure you. And I will try to get another fast update out (in a week maybe?) just because of how it took me to get Chapter 10 out.


 Report Review

Review #35, by wolfgirl17 Aaliyah: The Meeting

11th January 2015:
Oh my gosh Sama!

I don't know how you even found anything to include in your Areas of Concern. Seriously, this chapter has it all. It's everything a first chapter is supposed to be. It's got so many great plot foundations, so many hidden secrets and gems to lure me into reading more. So much characterization that I'm going to wind up professing my love to you before the story is through.

Seriously, as of right now this is on my list of favorites. I really, really enjoyed your story. I want to read more and more and more. I love the personality you've breathed into Aaliyah and Albus. I love the way you've painted such a villain in Ronan.

I'm itching to know what secrets they are trying to protect and why James and Gabby had to fake a relationship. You've hooked me. It's official that I am one hundred percent lost to this story. All other Next-Gens need not apply, nothing will top this and it's only the first chapter.

But seriously now, down to the nitty gritty stuff, you do have a couple of very small mistakes in spelling that could do with fixing, like I think there is an incident where you wrote 'difference' and meant 'differences' but I really had to dig for that one just to give you any kind of concrit on this review at all.

It's just so good. How have you managed it? Why can't all authors have writing of such a high quality as you?

You simply must continue requestng reviews from me because if you don't you're going to get them anyway, only with less structure.

The flow of the story is fast-paced but I like it. It works with where you seem to be taking this. The characterization is to die for. Seriously. I've not read anything with such an exciting intro to some new characters in a long time so a huge pile of kudos to you for that!

Please type as fast as you can to get more posted for me to devour! I love it. It's fantastic. I must have more!

xx-Wolfgirl

Author's Response: I literally woke up this morning to your review and I read it on my ipod and I just kept smiling and I'm STILL smiling now. :D

I honestly don't think any response from me will match the sweetness of your review. I sometimes feel like I don't give enough information to my readers so I always rethink if I should tell them this or if I should reveal this earlier or later. And yay, you like Aaliyah, Albus and Ronan.

I'm so happy that you like this story so much that you are showering me with so many compliments that I don't deserve. And there are many other Next Gen stories that are amazing like Clash by shenanigans and justonemorefic's etc etc.

I'm not very good at revising and editing so thank you so much for pointing out that mistake. I'll have to add that on my list of things to fix when I go over and edit the beginning chapters again.

And I'll definitely try and re-request some more reviews from your lovely self.

The first chapter is a bit fast-paced but it slows down a bit, that's kind of why I put pace as an area of concern.

I'm planning to start writing the next chapter today so you won't have to wait too long I hope.

Thank you SO much for taking the time to stop by. It means a lot and thank you for taking the time to find a way I can make the story better!

And to answer you question of how I managed it is definitely because of the wonderful feedback and suggestions I get. :)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #36, by happyanon Aaliyah: The Warning

9th January 2015:
I did my waiting!!! Like oh my god! Uggg asdfghkl!! Are we finally getting the answers? Hmm Ronan isn't as mean as i thought. Sure she puts her nose where it doesnt belong but people enjoy gossip and if she can give it to them then yey fpr her. Also, shes good at what she does so i find that great. I mean sure its not nice but its great im curious tho on the reason why she is in hufflepuff. Aww we didnt see any Albus.. i miss albus and aaliyah.. im so happy u updated. Pls update again soon. Its been far too long. Much love! Xoxo

Author's Response: I'm tremendously sorry for making you wait so long!! I'm a horrible author.

Yes, you are finally getting answers! This is Ronan being a little nice hehe but a person can't always be mean, right? There is actually a reason Albus isn't in this chapter. There were so many times I was like 'I need to put Albus in here' but then I was like 'Wait, no I can't'. He's in the next chapter though, I assure you!

I'm actually going to try and get the chapter up this weekend so you won't have to wait that long! :)

Thanks for taking the time to leave a review. I loved reading your thoughts and questions! ^_^

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #37, by UnluckyStar57 Albus: The Confrontations

31st August 2014:
Hey there! I'm back to review chapter four--a little bit faster this time, yay! :D

Okay, so having Albus's point of view after he made me so angry in the last chapter was pretty good. He isn't as overtly jerkish and horrible as he was in the last chapter, which made me happy. I guess it just took a PoV switch and some more character development, whoohoo! :D

Wow, Charlotte Ronan is basically the worst. Why would she write a whole newspaper article about how Albus and Aaliyah won't make it as a couple because of his "lack of experience" and her inability to learn from the past? That's just awful. I hate her for being so shallow and awful, but if that's the kind of articles that she writes about everyone, I can see why Al and Aaliyah decided to start fake-dating in the first place. It definitely takes a lot of pressure off the other kids who just want to live their lives without a school newspaper journalist trying to interfere.

One thing: When Albus was talking to Rose, he said that red-heads are good at arguing. Earlier, Rose was described as having brown hair. Just a continuity error, I think.

I'm glad that Al and Rose are friends though. It establishes an interesting dynamic, especially since she isn't too fond of his new girlfriend. Where will that go? Will Aaliyah and Rose end up reconciling their differences? It's too early to tell at this point, but I sure hope that Rose doesn't just hate Aaliyah for no reason. That would be kind of shallow of her.

Gabby and Al are friends, but Aaliyah was never friends with him. Did the two families hang around together a lot as children? How did Gabby get to know Al so well? And why is he always so removed and closed off from the general population? I guess it's good that the slightly-misogynistic side of him that I disliked so much in chapter three is probably just an act, but why did he choose to act that way? He's nice to Gabby; why does he have to be so rude to Aaliyah? And does he really like her, as he assures Gabby that he does? All the questions are being asked today, sorry! :)

Whoa, Scorpius. Whoa. Don't be that way. Ugh, he seems like he's kind of a womanizer/player type, what with his comment about Aaliyah as she walked away. I hope that, if he ever starts dating Rose, she'll put him back in line very quickly!

Al has to make a list about Aaliyah's finer attributes--obviously that's not going well for him. Does he know nothing at all about her, save for her physical appearance?! He'd better figure it out quite quickly. I know that everything is operating on a very superficial level at this point, so I hope that as the story progresses, he finds more things to like about her.

Uh oh... What is Fred's problem with Al's new girlfriend? It appears that he might have dated her before, but why is he still so bitter about it? Did he act like a jerk all the time? Whatever the reason for their break up might be, it appears that the Al/Aaliyah thing is going to cause some tension in the Wotter clan, what with Rose and Fred being weird about it. I'm interested to know where that will go!

Very good chapter! I am quite intrigued by the personalities of Rose, Scorpius, and Fred, and I can't wait to see how Al and Aaliyah's relationship progresses, especially when they're around their family members. :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Yay, Albus is growing! And yay for character development!

Charlotte Ronan is the worst lol but a negative character gives a good contrast to the other characters. She does interfere a lot... I would call her nosy but I think Ronan would want to be a called a more sophisticated word like well-informed. :P

Did I put her as having brown hair? It's been a long time since I've looked at that chapter. I need to look over it again. She's supposed to have red-brown hair, more auburn than bright ginger.

Rose doesn't hate Aaliyah for no reason. That wouldn't make much sense now, would it? Her reasons are there but they aren't very good ones. They may reconcile but that would probably be much later.

The two families did hang around together as children since they live near each other; however, while James and Aaliyah hit it off so did Gabby and Albus. The two pairs kind of kept to their own bubble. Al had always been a quiet kid growing up and being the middle child, he was used to getting the least attention since Lily was/is the baby of the family while James is just a very loud person, you know? After he got into Slytherin, his isolated nature kind of solidified more and you have to consider that he is only Potter/Weasley in that house so... yeah. His rude nature is his barrier in a way. If you can see that he is good person, you'll stick around and break that barrier. He doesn't have a crush on Aaliyah (well not yet anyway) but he's interested in her. She's his curiosity. And I love your questions, feel free to ask more!

Scropius isn't actually a womanizer... he's too hung up on Rose for that but his personality makes it seem like it, doesn't it? And he'll probably be making comments about Aaliyah throughout the story to get Albus more riled up and more interested in her if that makes any sense. He sees that Aaliyah will be good for Albus so he kind of wants them to end up liking each other for real.

That list just shows how much they don't know about each other but they will... it'll just take time.

Fred isn't actually a jerk all the time. He used to be just what you expected George's son to be: funny, fun-loving, carefree. His relationship with Aaliyah kind of changed that. And feelings do make people bitter. (*cough* He still likes her *cough*) ;)

The rest of the Wotter clan's reactions will be in chapter six but they won't be as negative as Fred and Rose.

Thank you for the great review! I had the best time reading it. Your questions and observations get me to think more about the story and characters which is a good thing. :) Thanks again! ^_^

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #38, by British obsessed Aaliyah: The Date

22nd August 2014:
I hope blaine and annie happens. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Aww, I hope Blaine and Annie happen too. Now to get Annie to like Blaine...

Thank you for taking the time to drop a review (actually reviews). I had an terrific time reading all of them and hopefully I can get the next chapter up soon! :D

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #39, by British obsessed Aaliyah: The Party

21st August 2014:
Still great! Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Yay! It's amazing that you like it!

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #40, by British obsessed Aaliyah: The Slytherins

21st August 2014:
I prefer seth and aaliyah over al and aaliyah (i seriously almost wrote aal instead of al)

Author's Response:
Maybe I can change your mind in the coming chapters. Yay or nay? ;)

Seth is a sweetie though! I adore him.

I think it's because Aaliyah has two a's that you almost wrote Al with two a's. I get confused too at times.

Thanks love!

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #41, by British obsessed Albus: The Confrontations

21st August 2014:
And you are giving me this pain because? Still good.

Author's Response:
I don't mean to give you pain, I promise. *gives chocolate*

It's great to hear that it's still good! I'll try to keep it going like that. :)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #42, by British obsessed Aaliyah: The Reaction

21st August 2014:
Ellie and isaac is my ship here! As for al... i am sorry, but i felt like he was sorta jerky in this chapter and i just wanna through him over hogwarts and into the forbidden forest. But besides that i will give a nine out of ten (that one off is albus)

Author's Response: Yay, an Ellie/Isaac shipper! Hopefully they'll be able to get together in the future (or we'll go with Seth's idea and push them into a broom closet). Al is sort of a jerk in this chapter, isn't he? He's going to get better and nicer... it'll just take some time.

Thank you for the short-and-sweet review! I love hearing from readers. :)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #43, by British obsessed Albus: The Decision

21st August 2014:
Well...THAT WAS AWESOME!! Scorp seems fine to me.

Author's Response: You're awesome for leaving another review, thanks! And Scorpius is one of my favorite characters to write. :)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #44, by Dirigible_Plums Aaliyah: The Date

21st August 2014:
You updated! I had a mild heart attack last night when I saw that you had updated (forgive me for the late review, I was on my phone and I HATE reviewing on my phone, you know how it goes) but it was worth it. By the way, thank you for the shout out, it means a lot. It seems that accusing Albus of thinking of himself in creepy ways is the best direction to take in reviews. I'll have to remember that next time.

But anyways, back to the chapter (or onwards to the chapter because I haven't really talked about it?). Poor Annie and her tiny admirers. It must be disheartening to have the younger years fancy you, but I would totally tease her for it too. Not that I'd be in much of a position to talk. The only romantic gesture I've ever had are two short poems that barely rhymed and my best friend calling me bae. But no, seriously, I like the way that you implement your humour. It's not too obvious but has me grinning like a creep in the dark of the night. I also liked seeing Ellie and Annie again. It's nice to see Aaliyah around her friends.

Albus, you Smirker. I bet it was a hot smirk. It must be a hot smirk. If I was Aaliyah, my heart would be jumping out of my chest at the sight of his smirk. And because I'm horrid at running. And because he touched my butt- well, her butt. AND THAT SCENE WAS KINDA PERFECT IN A WEIRD SORT OF WAY like their "relationship" is progressing but there's no romance. Is touching your girlfriend's butt considered romantic in normal situations? Speaking of progress, their actual relationship- not the fake one they show everyone- is developing wonderfully. It's going at the perfect pace and I'm really curious to see how they work out. Their sweet-tasting conversation made me laugh. It's cool how I knew who was speaking just by their responses to the previous statement.

Aaliyah's past is so intriguing. Why do you have to be good at withholding information and keeping me curious? Oh, and I was wondering if Fred is making a reappearance and if so, when? I mean, he probably is because he was a huge part of Aaliyah's life, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

Constructive criticism: it's not even constructive criticism, I just think that the ending of the chapter isn't as up to par as the rest of it. I don't know, it feels like there's a tiny bit left to the chapter. I don't know whether that was done intentionally or not though so. Don't get me wrong, I still loved the chapter. I'm pretty sure this in my favourites as well, but I'll have to see. If not, I'm gonna go ahead and click that button.

Dirigible_Plums

(holy hell, how long is my review? I didn't even know I could write that much. Does it even make sense? o_O)

Author's Response: I'm such a horrible author for replying to you so late! Forgive me?

I don't like reviewing on my phone either. It's harder to proofread your review and sometimes the page accidently refreashes and you have to start all over and gah.

See this is why Annie shouldn't always be willing to help the lower classmen by tutoring them lol. Instead of getting a thank you, she gets a declaration of love. If I had a friend like that I would tease them all the time too. Poems may be chessy but at least it was thoughtful, am I right? And trust me I haven't even got that. ^_^

Your reviews always make laugh and smile! :D "Albus you smirker. I bet it was a hot smirk. I must be a hot smirk." My gosh, you are perfect. You deserve some cookies. Was the scene perfect? I'm so ecstatic that you thought that scene was perfect because I kept thinking I may have just made poor Albus a huge creeper. I don't think touching your girlfriend's butt is romantic most of the time but I guess for them it is. :P I'm not going to lie: the sweet-tasting conversation was really fun to write. My favorite part is writing dialogue so it was perfect for me.

The cat is out of the bag next chapter and the one after so I won't keep you waiting for long and Fred will make a really short appearance next chapter. :)

I totally understand what you mean about the ending. I think my laziness got to me because I was trying to just type out the chapter in one go and it was really long so the end wasn't as well put together as the rest. I'm really sorry about that. I'm still thinking of another way to end the chapter and when I do I'll change it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR THOUGHTFUL REVIEW. Like I've smiled and laughed throughout all of it so thank you.
You are immensely sweet and I'm going to cherish this review forever and ever.

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #45, by British obsessed Aaliyah: The Meeting

21st August 2014:
THAT WAS AMAZING!!! Can't wait to read your next chapter!!

Author's Response: Aww, thank you! It's AMAZING that you liked it. :)

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #46, by crestwood Aaliyah: The Date

21st August 2014:
Aaliyah is still fooling herself about why she's excited, I see. She'll realize eventually. I love the story about the younger guys liking Annie. That was so funny! And I suppose I'll just add Ellie and Isaac to the immense number of couples I want to happen in this story. Albus and Aaliyah are so cute on their date. I agree with her about the house qualities. I've always thought I was somewhere in the middle of Slytherin and Ravenclaw, so I had a hard time choosing which to be in.

Now they're even talking about lingering feelings after they 'break up.' The way I see it, they just shouldn't decide to break up at all. Anyway, I love their small talk and how they're going about getting to know each other and finding that they like what they're seeing. I'm really impressed by your writing. You keep a lot contained, but you let on just enough to keep the reader satisfied. I think the plot of this story is extremely unique and leaves a lot of room for 'are they, are they not' moments because of the nature of their relationship. Ronan is actually a pretty terrifying villain, even if we don't see much of her. You've done an amazing job with making me wish for so many different relationships to happen in this story. You've really invested me in these characters. Really awesome job on everything. Please re-request as soon as you've uploaded more!

Author's Response: The younger guy thing kind of hangs on to Annie till her graduation haha. I don't even remember how I came up with it. It just came and then when I sit down to write I'm like, 'okay, Annie's love life consists of admirers that are younger than her.' Now that I think of it there are A LOT of couples waiting to happen in this story... I don't even know how that happened... maybe because there are so many characters that I have to take a guy and girl and be like 'I like these two. They're going to be a couple.' :P

Villains are fun. So I really wanted to write one and the villain ended up being Ronan. You find her terrifying? Yes, that means I'm writing her right haha!

Thank you so so so so so much for all of these fantastic reviews! They are like little gifts you leave for me to read. I loved reading your insight and I'll probably end up rereading your reviews if I ever lack inspiration. Thanks again! :D

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #47, by crestwood Albus: The Matchmaker(s)

21st August 2014:
At the beginning when Aaliyah gets upset about everything that happened with Fred and Albus moves closer to her and comforts her!! No one's there, that isn't acting! I'm so excited that this is happening. A tiny bit upset that Rose has a boyfriend that isn't Scorpius though. Albus and Aaliyah falling asleep in each others is pretty much the final straw of my belief in their idea that they're faking their relationship.

I don't even particularly like Rose in this story, but I just want to give your Scorpius the world so I hope she realizes that she has some kind of burning passion for him by the end of the story anyway. I love the way you write this slow paced not-even-really-friends to lovers thing. It's just creeping along with only a little progress each chapter, but it helps to make things believable since they didn't even know each other at the beginning of the story. I'm glad you aren't rushing through this. Another good chapter!

Author's Response: I'm so excited that this is happening too! They're growing and I had to have them fall asleep next to each other... I couldn't help it. ^_^

Rose is actually my least favorite character in the story. I probably shouldn't be allowed to dislike one of my characters but I really don't like her lol. I didn't write her as a very likable character I think. I think my conscious was telling me to write her like that to contrast how she's written by others. To make up for it the Rose in my other story is pleasant. :)

I LOVE Scorpius. He's a fluffy teddy bear and I actually already planned out his love story till the end (past graduation and all). I really don't want to give anything away or else I may end up leaking a tear or two.

I'm always arguing with myself about the pace since it is slow for the most part but I'm so happy you think it works! :D

Thank you for another lovely review!

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #48, by crestwood Aaliyah: The Party

21st August 2014:
I LOVE Daniel so much. I really hope he shows up again because he's so much more mature and understanding than everyone else even though he's younger. That conversation was really well written. And also, I need more James/Aaliyah scenes!! You write their friendship in this amazing way and I'd just love to see them speak more.

The Ronan Daily is scathing as always and Albus and Aaliyah are becoming more and more like a real relationship by the chapter, even if it's under the guise of fooling Ronan. Drunk Scorpius is great!! I can't even handle him admitting to his crush on Rose right now. Honestly perfect, wow. I'm not really all that surprised that Albus doesn't drink. I think I'm getting to know him somewhat at this point, even though he doesn't let on a lot about himself even still. You're doing a good job at writing a multitude of characters and kind of keeping all of them together and giving them distinct personalities and voices. Really great job so far.

Author's Response: Daniel is a sweetie, isn't he? He's kind of perfect. I think I just wanted a character who wouldn't judge her.

James... I really need to fit him into more scenes. I'll try to have more James/Aaliyah interaction in the future.

Is it sad that one of my favorite parts are writing the Ronan Daily? I think Ronan is rubbing off on me. :P

I had to write someone drunk at some point... why not just make it Scorpius?I'm kidding, him getting smashed was intentional. Drunk Scorpius has less reign on what he is saying like most but he ends up babbling a lot too. It just so happens his thoughts are on Rose so he ends up talking about her.

Albus is a tricky one. I'm glad you are starting to get to know him. He surprises me all the time when I'm writing and I'm the author lol.

Thank you so much for your sweet reviews!
I can't even remember how many times I've reread them! :D

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #49, by happyanon Aaliyah: The Date

20th August 2014:
Aw they're starting to get along so well. That's a relief. But why did ronan wink at albus? Hmm curious. Maybe Albus planned it all!? Omg that'd be like a big drama moment. Im really curious of the real story of fred and his cheating and why rose isnt fond of alliyah :) I dunno I love the chapter before this because it was a biy playful and has a bit of more fluff than this. Well the ar se grabbing forhead touching was nice. Maybe we should have more of those. Haha but well done dear. It was a nice chapter :) hopefully you can update soon. Xoxo

Author's Response: They are getting along, aren't they? It's a bit weird but exciting write them getting along.

I was hoping someone would think Ronan winking at Albus is fishy.(Did I just say fishy? Lol, sorry.) And I would tell you why but I can't... that'll be revealed soon enough. ;)

Fred is coming next chapter so part of his story will be revealed. Rose is kind of jealous of Aaliyah so that's why she can't stand her. And more to that will come in a few chapters.

I'm glad you liked that chapter! I had a fun time writing it. I didn't even realize that it turned out to be more fluff-y, lol. :D

If only we could have more of those moments. Albus and Aaliyah need more of them haha.

Thanks for the super sweet review. It really made me smile. Thanks a million!

~Sama


 Report Review

Review #50, by crestwood Albus: The Family

20th August 2014:
I can totally understand Aaliyah's nervousness about being properly introduced to the Wotter family. The way you write them makes them a lot less intimidating though. I love how hilarious you've made them.

Albus and Aaliyah have gotten much better at faking their relationship. I'm under the personal belief that they'll eventually realize that none of this was faked. Especially with Albus keeping count of how long they'd been dating without realizing what he was doing.

The Weasley Night Gathering is excellent writing. The timestamps give you a good snapshot of what's going on at the gathering, without having to draw it out longer than necessary and maybe losing the readers attention. It helps immensely with the flow, especially in a scene with so many characters participating. Another good chapter!

Author's Response: The Wotter family was really fun to write but there are so many of them haha. I'm glad you liked how I wrote them. :D

It's not fake? Since when? Jk, they are warming up to each other but they have a longgg way to go. Maybe, just maybe, they'll realize it wasn't that fake afterall. ;)

I actually thought the snapshots of the night may have been a too easy way to go but I didn't know how else to write it without it becoming boring. I'm so happy someone thought they worked!!

Thank you for your thoughts!
You deserve some chocolate for this!
~Sama :))




 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>