Reading Reviews for Crossing the Borderline
  
83 Reviews Found

Review #26, by newgenerationlover Aaliyah: The Party

7th May 2014:
So I have absolutely loved your story so far!! I love all your characters- especially Aaliyah. I really liked the relationship shown between James and Aaliyah (side question: how is her name even pronounced??). He looks out for her like an older brother but not too over powering, he knows she can take care of herself which is nice compared to all these other fics that have these girls that can only be protected by older brothers/older brothers' friends. She is a strong, independent woman who don't need no man!! I never pegged Albus as a straight edge. I mean it kinda fits and I kinda like it more because it shows how he always likes to stay in control, I just never really saw it coming. I can't wait to keep reading and see the progression of their relationship!
xoxo
Mary

Author's Response: Aww, I'm so glad you like my characters. Sometimes I feel like there are too many of them, lol. James is a sweetie. Okay, so he isn't really a sweetie but I love him.And there is more to him that is coming more around the end of the story. And yeah he does watch out for Aaliyah but doesn't go overboard since a) that will chase her away and b) he reserves that treatment for Lily ;).

I didn't expect Albus to be that way either but I think it would make sense since he hates the feeling of being drunk. That and it makes Aaliyah and him bond a bit.

Their relationship will keep progressing (slowly). And you pronounce her name like Aleah. Thanks for the lovely review! It made my day!!

~Sama


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Review #27, by newgenerationlover Albus: The Decision

6th May 2014:
Aaliyah is the cooliest. Gosh, I wish I had her cool exterior. I mean, if someone accused me of liking someone else, the first this out of my mouth probably isn't "well I guess that's their problem." She is the epitome of a cool cucumber ;). You have done a great job setting each scene. You don't go over board with descriptions like so many other authors do, but you give little details that allow the reader not only to set the scene, but to get to know the characters better. Exhibit A: "His feet are resting on a table casually and in his lap is a textbook with childish and inappropriate doodles in it." The little details are what make it amazing. I am still hooked and I am definitely going to keep reading!!

Author's Response: Hello!

Aaliyah, a cool cucumber? Haha, I didn't think of it like that but I can kind of see it. I guess I just made her really independent and unfazed by comments that don't really mean much to her. If only I was like that, lol.

Description has got to be my biggest enemy. I usually put less of it because I like focusing on the dialogue and characters more. Thank you so, so much for thinking I have a good balance of it. And the only reason I put little details in there is to avoid writing a bunch of description.

Thank you for the thoughtful review! I had a great time reading it!
~Sama


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Review #28, by newgenerationlover Aaliyah: The Meeting

6th May 2014:
Wow! Great start! I already love all your characters, especially Albus. Albus is so cool and collected yet calculating and curious (ok, so not very curious, but I wanted another 'c' word, so lets just say curious stands for a person who can read anyone very easily ;) ). Why do they have guilt?? I actually can't wait to find it out. You already have me completely hooked. I guess I'll keep reading, but you will probably get at least one more review from me right now. So, see you later alligator ;)

Author's Response:
Albus, dear Albus, he is a character! He is fun to write though so I love him. Haha, I love the 'c' adjectives! Another one could be conservative maybe? :D I think Aaliyah is more of a curious person than him but he is very attentive.

Oh, the guilt. I would tell you why but I am an author... hence the secret. ;) It will come out though, maybe not too soon but somewhere in the middle of the story maybe.

Thanks for the sweet review. Made my day! ^_^

~Sama


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Review #29, by Leonore Aaliyah: The Meeting

5th May 2014:
Hi! Here from RRT

Loving that intro with the gossiping paintings! But a HUFFLEPUFF vandalised a painting?

"In first and second year she was more light-hearted and calm." McGonagall? Light-hearted and calm? What must the other teachers be like?

Lovely descriptive section where Albus is looking at her - great detail.

I'm not sure about Charlotte Ronan's cronies being Hufflepuffs. Yeah, they're normal teenagers and they're younger students so more likely to cave to an older student. But aren't they supposed to be hardworking and care for other people? I'd expect them to object to something so horrible as finding out and spreading rumours.

"they are painted navy blue with sparkly stars." I am jealous!

Oh, so Charlotte's a Hufflepuff! I suppose I shouldn't stereotype but- wants to find out people's weaknesses for her own use. I'd be more tempted to make her a Slytherin (I know, stereotype, but that's ambition...) I expect it'll be clearer later on once you've had time to maybe dig into her character a bit more.

It started off with the summary and everything and I was like "OK, next-gen romance". (Especially with Slytherin Albus). But it's not. I guess I'll have to read on if I want to know what's going on here. It's kind of late right now but maybe soon?

I shouldn't review at 20 past midnight because my eyes are starting to lose focus. But I love your presentation of Albus. He's strange, and I wouldn't necessarily want to hang out with him, but he's certainly an interesting character. Knows his own mind.

Yep, good characterisation and what sounds like an interesting original plot!

- Leonore

Author's Response: Yeah... I may have made my Hufflepuffs a little OOC. But their hardworking quality is what makes them so efficient in what they do. And most of them are pretty nice, they just cave to Charlotte.

And Charlotte is in Hufflepuff for a reason... her values don't really tie in with Slytherin but she is determined so I guess she does have some Slytherin characteristics in her.

If it was a next-gen romance, there would a lot less of people getting hurt haha. :P Maybe that would have been better since the characters have grew on me... But I'm evil like that lol.

I always thought Slytherin Albus was more interesting than Gryffindor Albus. I don't know why though. Maybe it has to do with him getting sorted into the house Harry almost ended up in. That and making him cunning and all smirk-y is pretty attractive (Aaliyah will hopefully agree with me).

Thanks for your thoughts. You get a penny! (Penny for your thoughts and all. No?)

Anyway, thanks for the positivity! I had a a great time reading for review! Sorry for taking so long to reply.

~Sama


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Review #30, by KC Albus: The Decision

16th February 2014:
Loving this story--especially your version of Albus. Hot/mysterious Albus Potter is always my favorite! Plus you've actually managed to make the fake-dating cliche interesting and unique, so props!

I also love the way you write, especially your descriptions. They're not really long/drawn out but yet I can picture everything so clearly.

Oh, just wondering, but who did you use for Albus on your CI?

Off to read more of your wonderful story! XX

Author's Response: Hot and mysterious Albus is more fun to write so I guess that's why his character is like that. I wouldn't be able to pull of a brave, Gryffindor Albus anyway. And I'm so, so, so happy that you think it isn't cliche. I was so scared that the plot line was going to make it less original so thank you!

You like the way I write? That's so sweet. And lol, descriptions are my enemy. I'm not very good at going into too much detail when it comes to them.

Oh, he's Kevin Flamme. And he is very fine, haha. :)

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and thank you so much for taking the time to review. It means the whole world to me. :)

~Sama


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Review #31, by mcdash Albus: The Family

31st January 2014:
Oh my goodness, Al and Aaliyah are ridiculously cute. Like, I'm reading this chapter and part of me wants to just slide onto the floor and lay there for a bit because they're just so overwhelming. You know?

Anyways, the Weasley family is, of course, one of my favorite families, and I love how you've already established their personalities with this chapter. Each person definitely has that boisterous and caring Weasley personality, and their reactions to Aaliyah definitely fit. I was expecting more of reactions to Aaliyah herself, but I liked how it was to the shock of her and Al's relationship. Especially considering her and Fred's past, I could see how they would be surprised. But the girls taking her in at the family gathering was very sweet, because even if they didn't mean it or anything, at least they're trying. :)

As each chapter goes along, I love seeing the natural progression of Al and Aaliayh's conversations. It's not too rushed, and they're definitely becoming better at the whole 'fake relationship' thing (even if part of me hopes the feelings are real). Their conversation about Professor Regan was hilarious, especially this line:

He is what fourth year girls call, "a very fit, young bloke" which is basically a nice way of saying, "I wouldn't mind doing him."

One of my favorite parts of this chapter was the set up of the family gathering with the times at top. It gives a nice progression and visual, especially to how the family interacts with Aaliyah.

This was a great chapter, and I can't wait to see more of the Weasleys. :)

Author's Response: I honestly don't know how to respond to them being ridiculously cute. A part of me wants to jump up and down and squeal and the other part of me is 'wait, be reasonable. be calm.' If you find them overwhelming now, you'll have to brace yourself for the next handful of chapters. ;)

The Weasleys are like the ultimate wizarding family. It's such a relief that their personalities came out or are coming out. There are so many of them, I didn't know if they could all be fit into one chapter. The reactions... I had only Lily's, Rose's, and Fred's planned out and the rest just came out while I was writing. They probably have less reactions to Aaliyah herself since they knew a week or two beforehand that Al and her were together. However, they wanted to know 'why.'

Professor Reagan... he's a looker. ;) That part was fun writing. And it gives a sort of light-hearted, humor to Al and Aaliyah's relationship.

I actually thought the last few parts with the time marks weren't going to be effective but rather rushed and unnecessary. When I read that it was one of your favorite parts, I was literally in mind saying, "yes."

Thank you for the sweet, terrific review!!
I cannot begin to explain how grateful I am and how much I love reading your thoughts. :)

~Sama


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Review #32, by mcdash Aaliyah: The Slytherins

31st January 2014:
Getting around to reviewing this chapter finally, and wow, what a chapter!

To start off, Aaliyah's list was great. I love how she's identifying the problems, especially with her and Al's behavior around each other. I'd love to see them work those problems out, and I saw definitely saw that in Aaliyah and Al's conversation about their awkwardness. I adore relationships where each person has to work out their problems to make it work, so Aaliyah/Al is making me very happy!

Out of the Slytherins, I think Scorpius is still my favorite, but of the new Slytherins, it's Kian. He seems like a wonderful person to be around and talk to. Honestly, Sebastian was very off-putting to me, but I think it's just his personality at the beginning of the scene. I quite liked Al being "protective" (I say that lightly) and trying to get Aaliyah out of the room.

Seth's confession was perfect. I loved it, especially when he was describing why he liked Aaliyah. This particular line was my favorite:

And how you secretly practice on your broom early in the morning on Sundays even though you quit the team in fifth year.

Throughout the whole scene I was grinning like a madwoman, not gonna lie.

Another thing about this chapter. Your pacing is fantastic. Everything flows together and feels very natural, especially the dialogue. Aaliyah presents herself as very clever in what she says, and I love that. Overall, I really loved this chapter!

Author's Response: I take way too much time to respond to these so sorry about that. Yay! I'm glad Al and Aaliyah are making you happy. They have some walls they need to break that's for sure. But hopefully they'll be more comfortable around each other.

Kian... yeah since Aaliyah already knows him he comes off more wonderful. Sebastian, hehe, I'll have to bring him into the story more, then maybe he'll start to grow on you.

You'll probably see more of Al's protective side later on. And I'm super happy that Seth's confession came out that way. He's a sweetie and I really wish he would find a girl that is as equally sweet as him (not Aaliyah though).

Aww thank you. Pacing is something I'm never sure about it so you saying it's fantastic means A LOT. Aaliyah was supposed to be a clever character and I'm ecstatic that she's coming off that way.

Thanks so much!
I love reading your reviews. :)
~Sama


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Review #33, by grace Albus: The Family

28th January 2014:
I love this story :)

Author's Response: I'm so glad you do! And I like you for loving this story and taking the time to tell me that you do! I will cherish your four words forever. :)

Thank you!
~Sama


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Review #34, by marauderfan Albus: The Confrontations

27th January 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review and sorry for taking 463 years to do so. I have already reviewed the first 3 chapters so I'm doing this one.

Ok, I love the scene when Aaliyah discovers Albus' list. Her reaction is clever and funny. And she and Scorpius seem to be getting on well, they make great friends. I loved when they were both sort of teaming up against Albus and laughing at him haha.

Gabby seems nice, being protective of her sister behind her back. There were a lot of people coming to check that Albus actually likes Aaliyah. I guess people are catching onto the fact that their relationship is fake. But he actually likes her, so I guess he won't have too much trouble acting. Personally I dont know why they bother, since they're just getting nasty gossip written about them. That publication is really quite mean!

Reagrding possible plot inconsistencies- there is one point when Scorpius comments that a professor is just like McGonagall, but how would he know what she is like? Was she still teaching there when they were first years or something? Otherwise I don't think he would know how she is as a professor.

There are some word choice issues I found, such as in the first section "themself" - which is not actually a word. Neither is "infront", which I noticed a couple of times in the chapter; it should be "in front".

Also, "I remember her scowling at her" - you might want to substitute a name for one of the "her"s just to clarify who is who.

I hope I haven't sounded too harsh! Other than that CC, I think it's a good chapter! Your characterisation of Albus is good, I'm starting to get a clearer idea of his personality as he reacts to people's questions about Aaliyah, he is clearly quite guarded, but people are starting to make him open up in this chapter. Great work on this!

Author's Response: Hello! It's no big deal about the time.

That scene was fun to write haha. And yeah her and Scorpius are going to turn out to be friends. Lol, yes Albus has his own best friend and girlfriend gag up on him.

They're watching out just 'cause Al's not really the sweet, adoring type of guy so they want to watch out for Aaliyah. Haha, he doesn't have any actual deep feelings for her but he does have this protective instinct over her. Maybe it will turn out to be something more. ;)

Hmmm... during their first year, McGonagall was headmaster but did teach a class or two of Transfiguration since she loved teaching, but in the end it became a lot on her plate so now she sticks to being only headmaster.

Thanks for the CC and I'll have to go back and correct those parts.

I'm super happy that you think Albus is coming out more, it means a lot.

Thanks so much for this! :D I really appreciate it.

~Sama


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Review #35, by AccioTeddyLupin Albus: The Family

26th January 2014:
“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix.”

Karen Marie Moning

I just thought this quote went with this story. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: I was on hpff late at night and when I saw this review I was literally going "aww" in my head reading the quote. It's just so sweet, deep, and meaningful. And the thought that you think it goes with the story is just... so amazing. And it actually does go with the story so yeah thank you for taking the time to drop me this review. Made my night and every time I read it I can't stop smiling.

~Sama :D
P.S. I'll try my best to get the next chapter up ASAP.


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Review #36, by Zqad Albus: The Family

25th January 2014:
Awww that was one sweet chapter

Author's Response: Aww, thanks. It was meant to come out a little light-hearted and sweet so I'm happy that it did.

Thanks for taking the time to review. It means a lot.

~Sama


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Review #37, by UnluckyStar57 Albus: The Decision

21st January 2014:
Hi! I'm finally here to review you! :D

Okay, so this chapter just made things WAY more interesting! I liked getting things from Albus' point of view--it adds another layer of complexity to things! I especially liked his characterization of Aaliyah. What SHE can't tell us about herself, HE sure can!

Ahh! So the whole proposition that he carried out was really part of a bigger master plan! He wanted to guilt-trip her into saying yes! What a Slytherin! :D

What I'm quite curious about is: What happened with Aaliyah and Fred last year? Why does she feel indebted to James? Will I get to find that out later on? She's quite mysterious, which is good! I like that she's complex and she can't be figured out too easily. :)

And dear Scorpius has some Rose feels... So silly. :) It's good that they're not dating already--watching them come together at the same time that Albus and Aaliyah are fake-dating will be really interesting! I'm so glad that Scorpius finally realized his true feelings, even though it was really late at night. :D

The most interesting part of the chapter BY FAR was the end. Aaliyah has accepted the proposition, and Albus knows exactly how to play Ronan! That was really clever of him, to watch her every move on the Marauders' Map, and to put on a show for her. Hopefully an interesting news article will come out about it. :)

There were just a few things that I noticed that seemed a little off:

"What Scorpius doesn't know is that one of the vindications for choosing her..."~I looked it up, and I don't think that "vindications" is a noun. "Vindicate" is a verb, but I would suggest that you find a different word for that sentence. (Just a suggestion, though! Do what makes you happy!) :)

"The question comes from Blaine Zabini, a chestnut haired friend. And Blaine is still repeating the same freaking question with his hazel eyes."~Here, I'm not really sure why the descriptions of "chestnut haired" and "hazel eyes" come into play. I understand that you're trying to describe Blaine, but I would suggest that you rephrase those sentences. The first one sounds a bit awkward, and the second one sounds like Blaine was asking the question with his eyes. (Unless that's what you meant to do!)

"I. Changed. My. Mind. About. The. Preposition."~"Preposition" should be "Proposition." Just one letter off. I do that a lot. :)

Well, besides those very minuscule things, this was a very brilliant chapter! Great work! :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Yeah, I've got that a lot (this chapter is more interesting, that is).

Let's just say that something happened between Aaliyah and Fred last year. ;) And she feels indebted to James since he watched out for her when he didn't need to. Aaliyah's kind of an open book but there is more to her than meets the eye, know one realizes that except for Albus though.

Scorpius... yeah. He's going through a phase. He's accepted it and now he's deciding on how he's going to face it. And he's just... a typical teenage boy, you know? He's chill, friendly, and happens to get this major crush on someone he never thought he would.

Albus knows how to play people and knows what makes their buttons push. He's observant and picks up on things rather quickly. It's a skill he picked up on. :)

Your advice was very helpful. I went back and edited those parts. Thanks for catching them and they totally make sense.

Brilliant chapter? I find that hard to believe, haha, but it means so, so, so much that you think so. I always value everyone's opinion(s) so yeah... thanks!!

Thank you again for the wonderful review... really made me smile reading it. :)

~Sama


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Review #38, by toomanycurls Albus: The Decision

21st January 2014:
Review swap!

I'm glad you're switching views in the story. That always gives such a rich narrative! Albus seemed so complex last chapter that I'm eager to get inside his head a little.

Albus' interpretation of Scorpius' reaction was hilarious. I can't blame Albus for not wanting to talk about it in front of others. I like how you describe the Slytherins.

I love the twist that Albus was intrigued by Aaliyah and perhaps fancied her. Or at least he wanted to understand her better.

aw, he's checking her out in class. :D I do like how he's putting it off as an academic/curiosity thing. haha, Scorpius' hobby of making dirty drawing is quite funny.

I wouldn't be very happy if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night to announce he liked someone. Oh poor Scorpius is afraid to like her. :( He just needs a pat on the head.

Is Blaise a Jr? There's a Blaise in Harry's year at Hogwarts so I thought I'd ask. Ooh, Fred and Aaliyah were a thing. Interesting. :D The plot thickens.

Why is Aaliyah yelling for Albus then get all shy when he pays attention to her? That's not like her. OooOoOooh! She changed her mind! That could be exciting! I like her rules! ^_^ I can see how the no snogging wouldn't fly. I mean, they have to be realistic. The others were good though! Al really does have an ego on his shoulders.

I can't tell if Albus is just messing with her or trying to really be her bf and going about it the difficult way.

-Rose

Author's Response: I didn't really plan for this story to be from different points of view but there were some parts I felt necessary to see from Al's pov so now the point of view switches every other chapter.

Slytherins are fun to write. I find that Slytherin is the most interesting house and after that Hufflepuff. And Scorpius is a babe, haha.

He doesn't fancy her but yeah, he does want to understand her better. Yes, he is observing her from afar. Albus is the type that likes to get to know his enemy or person of interest, haha. And Scorpius... he's a... creative one?

Blaine is Blaise's son, yes. And Fred and Aaliyah were a thing though the details come later.

She's not shy that he's paying attention to her really, more about admitting that he's right (that she will change her mind and all). Al does have an ego but for real, his ego isn't that big. He just needs it to be confident.

He's not messing with her but yes, he can be a little difficult. :)

This review was so, so thoughtful. I loved reading it! Thank you!!

~Sama :))


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Review #39, by toomanycurls Aaliyah: The Meeting

19th January 2014:
Review swap!!

I love the sense of flurry and intensity you start the chapter off with. You talk about fear in such a realistic way. I felt I was experiencing fear as well. Aaliyah's obersvations on the Potter brothers gives a fresh description on the two boys. I find your description of Albus to be quite intriguing actually. Albus seems like such a mystery to me. I really hope he gets unravelled a bit in the story.

You do a wonderful job building and holding tension in a scene. When they hear the high heels coming, the way you describe everyone's reaction, then jump to Albus' unemotional demeanor, and then back to tension is just great.

Charlotte sounds like a force to be reconned with. I wonder what gives her that power or why she's like that. She kind of seems like a bit of a bully when she's trying to get to the bottom of James and Gabby's breakup. I am glad they all pulled together and stood their ground.

Oooh, how scandalous that James and Gabby only pretened to be together to make Charlotte off everyone's case. Even more scandalous that Albus would ask Aaliyah to be his pretend gf. I think there's more to his answer than guilt and snogging.

This is quite a good intro!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hello!!

Description was probably the one thing I was worried most about so I'm really, really happy that you though it was good. The Potter boys are kind of similar in looks but in personality they are quite the opposite. And Al will unravel throughout the story, I promise.

Charlotte is a bit if a twisted character but she does have feelings and all. And there is more to why Al asked Aaliyah to be his gf.

Thank you for the terrific review. You're amazing.
~Sama


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Review #40, by ReeBee Aaliyah: The Meeting

19th January 2014:
Hi! Review swap! This was awesome!!! :D :D So so interesting!

Firstly, characterisation! I love strong characters and that's exactly what Aaliyah is! :D Loving her dialogue! Albus, ooh, you've written him really well! :D So so endearing! And James, I'm a sucker for James II and eep! You've made me like him even more! So cute! Loving him! And James/Gabby seem like such a cute couple! Even if they weren't legit...

Plot was amazing as well! It's soo creative! How on earth did u think of it? Eep! The 'golden couple' to protect others from an evil reporter type person is awesome! My mind is still wondering where u came up with it! Please share your creativity! :D :D

Description was good too! It controlled flow really well! :D I would have loved to see a tiny bit more setting description? Other than that, it was awesome!

Grammar/Syntax: There were a couple of instances where you used 'than' instead of 'then'. And Maybe including the MC's actual name more? Because it was mentioned only a few times :)

Great job! Loved it! Cant wait to read more! :D

-ReeBee :)

Author's Response: I love strong characters too! I think that is why I made Aaliyah more of a smart, stubborn yet strong-headed girl. Hehe, Albus! He's a darling, isn't he? Well, a cunning darling. James II is the best and I'm so glad you like how I characterized him. It means so much! James/Gabby have their moments.

Aww, I'm creative? Nah, but it's great that you think so. The plot just came to me but I'm pretty sure there are some stories here based on the same concept. I don't have much creativity to share in the first place but once I get some I'll give some to you, haha.

I know, setting is a bugger. I think why I put less is because I'm not very good at identifying what is too much description and too less lol. But I will keep that in mind.

And I'll go look back at the chapter. I probably ended up missing some mistakes.

Thanks so much!!
You are so positive and thank you for taking the time to leave this! *hugs*

~Sama :D


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Review #41, by LilyLou Albus: The Decision

17th January 2014:
Hello!

Wow. I read the first chapter a while ago, maybe for a review swap? Well it didn't have me 'OH MY GOSH I HAVE TO REA ON' but I'm SOO GLAD YOU COMMENTED THIS LINK! I love it!

The suspense is phenomenal! The whole Fred ordeal? What's that all about? It leaves many questions to be unanswered. You tell us that she dated Fred, but that's it. What happened? What did he do? Oh, the questions! Brilliant work there!

Albus sure is a cunning fellow. He's the kind of kid that would intimidate me, and that's putting it lightly. He's clever, quiet, mysterious. He's someone that leaves you horrified, yet fascinated, all in the same moment. You wrote him marvelously!

Aaliyah! She's interesting, as well. I don't even know how to interpret her yet. Perhaps when I read the next chapter I'll have a better idea? I hope so. She's just a big jumble of mysterious as well.

This whole story is going to link together in the end brilliantly! I cannot wait to read on! Great story, I love it! It's going on my favorites list!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi!

Oh.. 'The Fred Ordeal.' I like the sound of that. I'm going to start calling it that haha. And yes she dated him, things happened and let's just say it ended on not the greatest note.

Albus is cunning... and that is what I like about him. Him intimidate you? Nah, you're too amazing for that! I'm glad he's fascinating and horrifying at the same time. I never thought he could turn out both ways.

Aaliyah isn't as mysterious as Albus but still has this mysterious past edge. And if you do read the next chapter, you'll get to know her better. She's smart and witty but also straightforward and caring.

This review made my night so thanks for that. You were just so positive and honest and that is the most I can ask for from a reader and you gave it to me so... thank you!!

~Sama :D


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Review #42, by LightLeviosa5443 Aaliyah: The Slytherins

13th January 2014:
wow. Wow. wait for it... WOW!

This chapter was all sorts of interesting and introductory and fun and interesting! I mean, you introduced how many new characters? Four? That's a lot. But they all made sense. I didn't get confused and wonder who was who and why they were there and what not. They fit, they made sense. Which was nice, to just read and enjoy and not try to figure out the story. Kudos!

So. Seth... Confessing. I'm kind of hard-core shipping Aaliyah and Albus to become a real thing, so I hope that his confession doesn't like mess anything up. Cause I'd be really disappointed if it did. I won't lie, I enjoyed the confession scene, but I'm nervous about that kiss on the head. Someone had to have seen that, it's going to be in the paper. This won't go well, will it?

I can't wait to read how you spin the next chapter! Let me know when you update and I'll come read it the second you do!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Yeah I did introduce quite a couple characters. Did they all make sense? I honestly wasn't sure if they did or not but you saying that they did makes me feel a whole lot better.

Yes... Seth... confessing. So Seth's confession isn't going to mess things up, I assure you. It's actually something that is going to add on to his character and add a layer of understanding to his and Aaliyah's friendship. He's a good person... and he likes Aaliyah... and he's known that for some time now... but he doesn't show it too often. So him finally telling her is a weight off his shoulders. And in the end, he's been one of her best friends for a long time so her liking back isn't his concern but her finding someone she's happy with is. Basically, what I am trying to say is that it won't interfere. The kiss on the head... will it lead to some controversy or not? That I won't tell you since I'm such a an evil author, jk. ;)

I will let you know when the next update is and I can't wait to finish writing the next chapter. Thanks... again. This definitely means a lot! :D

~Sama


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Review #43, by shez Aaliyah: The Meeting

13th January 2014:
Hey it's shez from the review swap. Sorry it took so long. Life got in the way.

This seems like a really interesting story. At first I was a little confused as to what was going on but then you addressed that concerns. Haha I like Albus' characterization ( I love sneaky clever Albuses ). I'm wondering what he owes James that he's making such a deal and this ronan character seems very malicious. I like that you've taken the time to establish your characters and setting and I can't wait to see where it goes! And what Albus gets up to!

Author's Response: Life tends to do that sometimes. ;)

Yes the beginning is sort of confusing but I'm happy that you figured it out. :) Haha, I like sneaky, clever Albuses too! Gives him more of a mysterious air that I love. He owes James for mostly taking the drama of Hogwarts away from his life, which he is thankful for, and he also owes him for something else that I'll reveal later. Ronan is malicious but she has different strategies for everything which is fun to write.

Thanks for the positive review!! I had a GREAT time reading this. :)

~Sama

P.S. and Albus gets up to... a lot. ;)


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Review #44, by LilyLou Aaliyah: The Meeting

11th January 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

This is extremely interesting. It has suspense in a way that you have the reader wondering what exactly is going on before you explain it, which is really captivating and a great hook.

You explain everything really well. You tell us about Albus, James, and Gabby very well. Through your explanations about them, you describe Aaliyah, which I really admire.

I love the idea for this. How they sacrifice their own freedom for the others' sake. I really do admire that. Albus is really mysterious. I could hear his cool voice and see his hard eyes. He just seems so fascinating and one of those characters that the readers continuously become infatuated by.

Great story here! I love it, and will read on!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hello!
Suspense is my guilty pleasure haha. And I believe in the showing, not telling method of writing. And is it a good hook? Never thought it was but thank you!!

I never thought about it that way--that through my explanations I describe Aaliyah herself. But that sounds so cool even though I doubt I pulled it off that cool-y (is that a word?).

I am super happy that you like the idea of this. And yeah they are the type that put the people they care about first. I guess that is how I shaped them all.

I meant for Albus to be mysterious but I have always had a nagging doubt in my mind that he wouldn't come out like that so your input really assures me. In a way, he's the character that puts you on edge. :)

Thanks for the sweet, lovely, oh-so-kind review!!

~Sama


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Review #45, by LightLeviosa5443 Albus: The Confrontations

9th January 2014:
Ah!

I really loved this chapter! Fred, oh Fred! I almost feel bad for him, but I think that Aaliyah and Albus are so cute I just can't get over it. I'm totally going over this in reverse but I don't care. What exactly did Fred do to Aaliyah?

Gabby is too funny, making sure that Albus actually likes Aaliyah.. But does he? I'm surprised James didn't pay him a visit, this'll be interesting. Oh Scorpius, focus on Rose why don't you!

The list, oh man oh man the list, that was priceless. Albus really should've just taken Scorpius' advice and made some stuff up. I really liked Aaliyah's input of "good snogger" though. It's believable and really fits her character!

Oh no, the article. That really is dreadful. They better clean up their act and learn to put on a good show. Otherwise no one is going to believe them and they won't take the spot as the golden couple. I'd love to seem them as the golden couple, though!

I can't wait for you to put up the next chapter! I just know it's going to be amazing and this story is going into my favorite's and my currently reading!!!

xoxo LL

Author's Response: This chapter was by far the hardest to write out of all four. I was really scared it wouldn't come out right so thanks for your reassurance! I almost feel bad for him too, almost. And he did a couple things to Aaliyah. That will all come out in due time.

Gabby is a bit protective over Aaliyah, haha. And James is giving them some space but he'll be in Chapter 6 and 7. And does Albus like Aaliyah? He doesn't hate her but he doesn't like her like that. He still doesn't know her too well.

Hehe the list was kind of a spur of the moment thing and I'm glad you liked that part. And hehe Scorpius.

Ronan... that's just the beginning. And will they clean up their act, who knows? ;)

Thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to me and I can literally hug you for being so kind and sweet. :D

~Sama
P.S. Chapter 5 is in the que!! :)


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Review #46, by LightLeviosa5443 Aaliyah: The Reaction

9th January 2014:
I really really really am enjoying this story!

I think that Albus is great, and while I would have enjoyed seeing a bit more of the couple, the breakfast scene was fantastic. I can't wait to see Ronan devour them alive, and let's not forget about how James and Gabby will react.

Ellie and Annie, what good friends they are! It was so sweet of them to jump into bed with Aaliyah and tell her to spill, even if they were mad at her! I loved the scene where they argued too. I'm all over the place right now, it was just fantastic. I don't even have real words.

I can't wait to read the next one, mostly because I have a feeling Albus' chapter might have more coupley moments. Can Albus and Aaliyah just fall in love and live happily ever after now? Cause I'd really like that.

xoxo LL

Author's Response: I really, really, really am enjoying reading your reviews!

This chapter is focused more on Aaliyah and her friends so that is why there less of him in the chapter but he is in the next one a lot. Ronan is being smart and waiting to make her move. And Gabby is in the next chapter.

Ellie and Annie are your main Ravenclaw characters in this story next to Aaliyah. They are all true friends. And holding a grudge against the other is quite hard. They are more hurt than mad but they forgive her since everybody makes mistakes.

I would love for them to get their happy ending too but they have a lot more obstacles in their way. We'll see where they go.

Thanks again for another fantastic review! :D

~Sama


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Review #47, by LightLeviosa5443 Albus: The Decision

9th January 2014:
Okay, I loved this chapter almost as much as I loved the previous one. It was really fantastic.

Can I just say that Scorpius is hysterical?! Awe, he loves her, he loves her, he really loves her! So cute!! I really enjoyed the class scene. It was super believable and I think Albus and Scorpius' friendship is hilarious.

Albus is more infatuated with Aaliyah than he thinks he is!! I can't wait to see how this secret relationship develops. It was definitely interesting to see how she reacted after he did that little "this has been going on too long" scene. Clever, clever Albus.

I can't wait to see what happens "tomorrow", I can't wait to read what Aaliyah is thinking, and I can't wait to see what Ronan has to say about it all. Not including everyone else involved. Fred better not mess this up!

Lovely chapter!

10/10

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Scorpius is a babe. He understands Albus well and takes things in a light-hearted manner. And he does kind of love Rose. We'll see how that turns out for him.

Albus infatuated? Pssh, no. Okay, maybe a little. He just has this kind of really observant quality and he is only interested in her because in his opinion, she is different. Albus is clever but he'll have to watch out for Aaliyah since she's witty.

Fred messing this up? Naw, okay maybe a little. But he has a good heart, I promise. And Ronan is going to be watching them from afar.

Thanks for the 10/10 review! ;)

~Sama


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Review #48, by LightLeviosa5443 Aaliyah: The Meeting

9th January 2014:
Review swap!

Oh man oh man! This was a fantastic chapter! I loved it!

I was a little aprehensive when I read the summary, because it seemed vague and I wasn't sure where you were intending to go with it, but this was great. Your characterization of James and Albus were fantastic and I really like Gabby and her sister Aaliyah. I'm going to paste the comments I wrote down while I read the story, just because they're an entertaining mumble jumble and I think you'll appreciate them more than a put together review.

Gossipy paintings. Those are brilliant, every good story set in Hogwarts has though! Ooh, an interview? This'll be interesting. Why is she doing an interview? Enter into room and: A sibling. Rivalry? Is her sister going to interview her? Is that a Potter I smell? Yes, yes it is.

Staring contest, go! So cute, can they be a couple? I'd love that...! Heels clicking? Mcgonagall? Are they gonna get caught? But they haven't even had their interview yet! Oh! It's their interviewer, okay, okay, that makes sense. Awe they were a couple, why'd they break up? But they're still a thing, or just know each other?

Oh Albus, you little trouble-maker. Stirring the pot, I see what you're doing. A proposition, oh boy, he's gonna tell her to date him. Yup. That happened. Can she please change her mind? Because then they can date and fall in love and live happily ever after.

Wow. I sounded ridiculous in that, but that's okay. I really enjoyed this chapter. And to top it off I found no grammatical errors to comment on!

Thanks for posting about doing a review swap because that was fun and I have a story to read!

10/10

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hi!

You are right. I loved hearing your thoughts as you read the story. And yes that is a Potter you smell, actually two. I'm really happy that you liked the four of them.

Hmmm... Can they be a couple? Maybe, just maybe. Gabby and James technically aren't a thing but they grew to know each other well.

Albus is very mischievous and cunning, haha. And happily ever after isn't really his style but you never know, maybe he will get a happy ending with a certain someone. ;)

And you totally didn't sound ridiculous. I understood everything, haha. And I'm glad we did the review swap. Your story was great. And thanks for being so kind and honest! :D

~Sama



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Review #49, by mcdash Albus: The Confrontations

7th January 2014:
Oooh, I got so excited when I saw this story updated! I've been (not) patiently waiting since the last chapter was posted. But enough of me talking about chapter updates and excitement, let's get on with the actual review.

Alright, so I loved the opening with The Ronan Daily. There are never enough stories with gossip publications in them, so The Ronan Daily is one of my favorite parts of this story. I think she makes a good point in that Albus and Aaliyah aren't appearing very couple-y right now. I would personally love to see a scene where the hash out the awkward parts of their relationship and try to make it look more presentable/cute/relationship-y. Plus, that means more interactions between Albus and Aaliyah. ;)

Okay, so I needneedneed to know the whole backstory with Fred and Aaliyah! I can figure out hints from Fred's confrontation with Albus, and it's making the wait for the full story even harder. I'm not sure how I feel about Fred right now, because I like that he's trying to protect both Aaliyah and Albus, but he's still coming off a bit selfish for wanting to take Aaliyah away from Albus. Of course, not every character is perfect.

Speaking of other confrontations, Gabby and Rose are perfect. Rose's list is really intriguing, and I'd love to see what else Albus puts on the list. And Gabby being protective over Aaliyah = perfect.

Overall, this was a fantastic chapter! You write such perfect interactions between all the characters, and I still feel as if there's level of mystery over all the character's histories. It keeps me coming back for more, which is great. Loved it! :)

Author's Response: Aww, I'm glad you got excited. Haha, I do that a lot too, patiently waiting for updates on stories that is.

I honestly didn't plan on the Ronan Daily being there. It was a spur of moment idea. Gossip publications are always fun to read so I get what you mean. You are right. Charlotte does make a point. Though, Aaliyah and Albus should be more careful since Ronan will get meaner and tougher on them. And there are never too many interactions between the two. ;)

I'm saving the back story for later. Haha, I'm evil, aren't you? Keeping you waiting like that. :P I'm actually planning to reveal it soon, like in the next few chapters. Fred is... complicated. That's all I can say at this point. He isn't a bad guy but he isn't necessary the best character. He has a good heart, though.

Rose... I'm having a lot of fun writing her. She has her insecurities and her disapproval is just another obstacle for Aaliyah and Albus. I'm happy you liked Gabby. Usually people write the male as being the protective one so I switched it up a bit.

Thank you so much for taking the time to review. It means so much and you are so SWEET. Like honestly, I don't deserve this much kindness. :P But thank you. And the interactions are really fun to write so I'm ecstatic that you like them.

And the next one is coming soon. I have it typed up. I just need to edit it.

~Sama :D


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Review #50, by Sun Lovegood Albus: The Confrontations

7th January 2014:
Please finish this, its very good. Different but good. Very Nice to not read the same overly happy story. I have only one wish and that is that you dont turn this into a love triangle! Keep it original

Author's Response: I am planning to finish this so don't you worry. But you did motivate me to finish this story even more so thanks! And overly happy stories aren't really my style. I don't think I could pull one off even if I tried, haha. :P

I wasn't planning on making it into a love triangle. There may be a few parts where there is a slight hint of a love triangle but it isn't too major.

And I will try to keep it original.

Thanks for taking the time to review. And I will try my best to update before the end of the month.

~Sama :)


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