88 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Hogwarts27 Chapter II

1st May 2014:
This was another lovely chapter. Godric is a man of real integrity, not wanting to use any sort of magic when it comes to fighting muggles. Ah, we get our first look at the Sword of Gryffindor in the owner's hands - and I couldn't help wondering if the shield that went with it might also be goblin made with special powers. I enjoyed reading your portrayal of how the rift happened between muggles and magic folk. And the idea of Hogwarts school is conceived. Great story so far!

Author's Response: Yep, it's starting to get into the actual story now with the rift in Muggle/magical society intensifying, and the beginnings of Hogwarts - I'm glad you liked that! Yeah, I always saw Godric as the type who's all about being noble - as Ron would say, he's not being thick, just showing moral fibre! :P Thanks for your review :)

 Report Review

Review #27, by kenpo Chapter III

30th April 2014:
This chapter wasn't boring, I loved this chapter!!

Before I finish my review I'm going to go get a bowl of cereal, because what other foods are appropriate at 11:30 at night?

Hmm. Clearly, thinking about building a castle makes me hungry.

Anyway, there was so much that I loved in this chapter. I loved their conversation about naming it, and that Rowena is just pacing with her diadem on, being all superior.

I loved how involved Helga was in making it happen. I think it totally makes sense that she would have all these connections and everything. I also like how Rowena was just randomly like "moving stairs! Yeah! Great idea!"

Just gotta make your castle the best castle, I guess.

I liked Salazar's comment. This IS a large castle, even when they get more students.

Something I missed a little was that when you go into how the common rooms were made, I would've liked to see the other two, as well. Unless you did have it and I just didn't read carefully, which is entirely possible.

I hope they get the hang of teaching... I mean, the school obviously doesn't fail in the long run, but I'd like for them to see it be successful in their lifetimes.

Another thing I liked was Helga cooking. She seems like she'd cook. She reminds me of Molly a little bit.

Great chapter!!


Author's Response: Awesome, cereal is definitely the best thing to eat at 11:30 at night. Yesterday I was eating a sandwich at night while trying to write and got crumbs in my keyboard, and now the button on the trackpad doesn't work. Derp.

Anyway, thanks! Haha, that conversation was kind of goofy so I'm glad you liked it and it wasn't too weird or anything. But really, Hogwarts is such a weird name, I had to. :P And I'm glad you liked Rowena's superior pacing and random suggestions, and Helga's connections with everyone.

I know, I think it would have been fun to write the other common rooms but, since the POV rotates and this one's from Helga's POV, I thought it would be unlikely if she were there to witness the creation of all four of the common rooms, so I just had her there for one other. :-/

It's only the start of Hogwarts and they haven't really got a clue what they're doing yet, but.. all things take time I guess. They'll get better! :)

Thanks so much for your review! ♥

 Report Review

Review #28, by Hogwarts27 Chapter I

30th April 2014:
Hi, I've been hoping to find a good founder's story somewhere on the archive and decided to take a look at this - and I'm so glad I did! I can't believe how good this is! I loved every bit of this. This first chapter had me absolutely captivated. The writing is so descriptive and richly detailed that it just brings this fantasy world to life, and it's a joy to read.

Your characterization of the founders - very good. There wasn't much of Godric in this chapter, but Rowena was perfectly believable, and I thought Helga was excellent, just the way I imagined her. Your portrayal of Salazar is a little different than I imagine him from canon, but that didn't bother me at all. I find him quite charming and likable, while I don't like him much in canon. His dialogue when he fetched Rowena made him seem like quite the ladies man.

The plot is delightful so far. The scene with meeting the suitors reminded me of cinderella at the ball so the prince could meet the ladies of the land, but in reverse. I especially loved the scene at Helga's house. There was already evidence of what would later be incorporated into Hogwarts there. So even though Hogwarts isn't built yet, I feel like I'm home when I visit Helga.

Anyway, this was a fantastic first chapter, and excellent writing. You're a highly talented writer, and I look forward to reading more of this.

Author's Response: ashdljfhkj wow thank you so much! Three reviews from you was seriously the best thing to wake up to when I logged on this morning. I am so flattered by your compliments, and I'm so glad you were captivated by the story and that you like the writing style!

As you've probably noticed since you read on, the POV rotates among the Founders so Godric gets some limelight later :) It's great to hear that you liked the characterisation of the other Founders though. Salazar is an interesting one, there's a lot to explore with his character in terms of why he turned out the way he did (after all, we know what eventually happens with him in canon.)

Haha, I'd never thought about that part being like Cinderella but I can definitely see how it reminded you of it! (except hopefully Rowena is more interesting than Prince Charming. :P ) And thanks, I'm glad that really home-y feel came across in the scene at Helga's house.

Thank you so much for reading, and for your lovely reviews! I appreciate it so much!

 Report Review

Review #29, by toomanycurls Chapter III

8th March 2014:
This is one of my favorite chapters so far. It's not an action packed, dramatic chapter but OMG THEY DO SO MUCH FOUNDERS STUFF!! I really liked how they picked out the name for the school - making it about a recognizable name, not just something about the founders. I grinned quite a bit when Rowena added in the "witchcraf" to the wizardry part of the title. :D

Rowena sounds just amazing. I love that you have her diadem in the chapter and that you show how she used it. haha, I would love to have used magic like she did around the house. that does explain why the school is such a maze. I really loved how Godric would just blaze his own path from point to point if he couldn't figure out the layout of the school - that's a brilliant explanation for all the hidden passageways.

I thought the construction of the school fit well with what I'd expect the founders to each be good at. I really loved that Slytherin was in charge of defense/keeping muggles out. I didn't realize that Maeve was a muggle - I missed that somehow. I feel it will be important later.

I was also excited that each founder made their own house dormitory at the school. That really explains why they each had their own personality and feel. I got a good laugh about Slytherin forgetting the put a door on his common room then playing it off like a feature, not a bug.

I really like that there were muggleborns in the first class of Hogwarts students. :D It made me really happy. haha, Salazar sounds like a teacher I've had - one who made us sit in assigned seats so he could remember our names.

I can't wait to read more!!


Author's Response: Nooo I just typed out the whole response and then accidentally deleted it!

Anyway. Yay! I think this is my favorite chapter of this fic too! I'm glad you liked the way they picked the name. I tried to make it as normal as possible given the circumstances (I mean what kind of name for a school is Hogwarts anyway? :p ) Yes can't forget witchcraft, two of the founders are intelligent, empowered ladies after all ;)

I'm glad you like Rowena and her use of the diadem, and Godric's indoor trailblazing. There were a lot of mysteries of Hogwarts that I got to think of explanations for in this chapter! :D

It's great to hear that the construction tasks seemed to go with the personalities of the founders. Yeah, I thought defense seemed appropriate for Slytherin haha. Maeve is a Muggle, yes... more on her next chapter.

With the amount of personality to each of the houses from the books, I really couldn't have seen it any other way than the founders designing their own houses! Glad you enjoyed that part with Salazar haha.

Thanks so much for your review!

 Report Review

Review #30, by toomanycurls Chapter II

3rd March 2014:
Sorry this is so late! I went to bed and then slept in and I'm a horrible person!

My bat senses are telling me that there could be a something something between Godric and Rowena. I don't care if she has the feels for Salazar. She can have them both! ;) (also, I'm in a shippy mood)

Oh, he's married. Did I know he was married? Or do I just like to ship unshippable people? Mrs. G hates on the feathered tunics - quite the fashionista. :P Their muggle friends know they're wizards? I guess there's not an international statute of secrecy.

I love that this was Godric's issue with using his wand against muggles: "It is not noble to fight with a wand against Muggles," - how very fitting given his house motto and other information we know about his character. At least the Baroness knows who her wizard friends are. I do like the idea of wizards working alongside muggles like this.

You really did make the victory not feel like a victory. So much pain and heartache. I can see the seeds for the statute of secrecy. It must have been scary for the muggle parents to worry that magic would kill their kids. I love that Godric wants to spring into action and try to fix it. I'M SO HAPPY THEY'RE FINALLY SET ON STARTING A SCHOOL!!! You did a wonderful job making a school the next logical thing for him to consider. I can't wait to see what's next.


Author's Response: Late? No worries - I seriously have no concept of time anymore with my nomad-ness. omg I think I just invented a word. Nomadness: the state of crazy induced by a life of constant travel (a combo of nomad and madness.)

Well that got off track really quickly. Uh.. oh yeah. Godric and Rowena! Haha, just because they were having a chat about war? :p Hm, romantic.

In your defense I don't think I had mentioned Godric's wife in the previous chapter. Haha, I wouldn't say you ship unshippable people.. more that you just ship *everything* :D

Well, yeah, she has opinions about fashion, but I also think that wizard fashion is kind of goofy anyway and probably was in the 10th century as well haha. I don't think the statute of secrecy existed until the 1600s or something, or at least until the times of witch burning. I would imagine that especially in these early times magic coexisted with muggles (for the most part... though obviously not always )

I'm glad you thought Godric seemed appropriately Gryffindor-ish, and that the school seemed like the next logical step!

Thanks so much for reading and for your review!

 Report Review

Review #31, by toomanycurls Chapter I

10th February 2014:
I think you've knocked being a decent writer out of the ballpark. :) I loved reading this and am excited to read more!!

You've made Rowena into a very interesting and intriquite person. I love seeing the various demands on her between getting married to a respectable man to spending time with her three friends.

The dialogue in this isn't Old English but it conveys the same sense of formal speech and heavily weighted words. I felt like you were thinking like someone from this era while writing it.

Lord Redwald kind of reminds me of the creeper guy from Ever After. I feel bad that Rowena is being pressured to find a guy. I'd hate to be a woman in that time period. Was Lord Redwald trying to hit on her by offering to take her to her room? Or hoping for a bit of touch and feel? That how your local Mad-Eye Moody of Flirting read that. :P

I was so excited to see Salazar show up already in the story. I thought it was quite clear she fancied him.

Party at Helga's!!!

You did a beautiful job showing each of the founder's with a personality that fits what we know about them without making it sound like the sorting hat was describing them. :D

it was exciting to see a flying broomstick - I loved Rowena's reaction to not trusting a bit of wood to fly.

Of course Salazar and Godric are bffs! I just want to hug them! And you showed a bit as to why Salazar might not like muggles *squee*

I can't wait for Rowena to try convincing Salazar that wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure. Now that phrase sounds kind of dirty to me. :P You know, with mud.

Their discussion of current events was intriguing - they're four brilliant people and having them discuss the on-goings of hte world is a delight.

Love this chapter!!

Author's Response: Aaah thank you ♥

I'm glad Rowena is interesting! I think she' s the sort of person who can handle a lot of demands on her - though of course one of those (marriage to an uninteresting person) is not high on her priority list.

Ooh, I am so happy the dialogue works. Heh, you've found me out - I was actually there so yes I know how they thought/spoke. I am actually 1100 years old.

It probably wouldn't be nice to be a woman in that time period. Though I think often the women in my stories don't seem to conform to gender stereotypes and kind of do what they want. :p Bahah thanks Mad-eye Flirty, it could be, it could be. It is a little ambiguous whether he was just being polite or hitting on her, hehehe. Maybe a bit of both.

Everyone is invited to a party at Helga's! :D

I am so glad that you like my characterisation of the Founders and that it didn't just sound like the Sorting Hat's description. I tried to include the charactreristics they are known for while still making them real people.

Thanks so much for this wonderful review!!

 Report Review

Review #32, by lindslo2012 Chapter I

10th February 2014:
Hi there!
I loved this so far!
This is the very first fic I read about the founders and it is very interesting.
I never knew Rowena had a thing for Slytherin. But it is quite cool that she does. I think you did quite well writing the historical factors and making her act like a woman from that day and age would. You are an awesome writer and sometime when I get more time then I will defidently come back and read the rest of the story!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you! I'm glad you like the dynamic between Rowena and Slytherin. And it is wonderful to hear that about the history - I really liked including history in this fic. I'm glad Rowena seems appropriate to the time period. Aww, thank you so much for your compliments about my writing! ♥ This was a lovely review, thank you!

 Report Review

Review #33, by Lululuna Chapter VI

10th February 2014:
Hello! :D

Ah, I love this story so much. It's crazy to think of how much time has passed, and fascinating to see how Hogwarts has evolved and the families of the Founders have grown up. All the kids seem hilarious, and I liked seeing how cold and insecure Helena is. I feel like you wrote her and her indifference to Perceval really well.

Creaothceann is SO FUNNY. How on earth did you come up with this? Haha, Godric vs. Creaothceann is just hilarious, I like how the Founders are waging a quiet war against it. It really seems like the wizarding equivalent to other violent and dangerous sports of the middle ages. Also, I really enjoyed how Rowena is very anti-broom compared to the rest of them. She reminds me of Hermione a little and how she just doesn't get the appeal of Quidditch.

I mentioned this before but I quite liked seeing how Helena has the rift growing with her mother. Rowena is so lovely in this story, but it fits that she would pass on her high standards and the desire to be unique and known for her own merits (which we saw in the early chapters) onto her daughter. I liked seeing Godric being all uncle-ish to her too, it's nice how all the Founders have their eyes out on one another's kids.

Roland is an excellent name for a Gryffindor, by the way. It sounds very rugged and noble.

Oh Merlin, divination has begun. I'm a little sceptical about this, but it fits that in that time having visions would be seen as very useful and predicting the future would have been a very desirable skill. I know some of the old monarchs would have astronomers and diviners working for them so learning those skills could actually be sort of useful at Hogwarts. I'm curious to see how the new class will work out.

So I'm really curious about how the split between the Founders is going to happen! You'll have to update soon because I'm very curious and worried. I wonder if something really bad is going to happen and Salazar will get mad, or if it's a gradual thing? I like how many layers there are to his personality and his prejudices, he's very unpredictable.

Great chapter, as usual! :D I can't wait to read the next one, and I'll keep an eye out for it! :) Loved this!

Author's Response: Awww ♥ I am so glad that you love this story! That means so much to me!

I am happy to hear that you liked the passage of time and it didn't just seem like a huge jump, which it kind of is - somewhere around 17 years since the previous chapter haha.

Oh, I wish I could say I'd come up with Creaothceann myself, but it's actually mentioned in JKR's Quidditch Through the Ages, and the time period fit so I included it here, haha. I'm glad you liked it though, and all its effects on the medieval wizarding world and the individual Founders.

I'm really happy you liked Helena too. I think there must have been a lot of presure on her with her mother being who she was, and also because Helena is the oldest of all the Founders' kids. I'm glad you like the sort of uncle/niece relationship between Godric and Helena as well - I like to think of the founders at this point as kind of being like brothers and sisters :)

Thanks, I'm glad you liked the name. I thought it sounded like a very Gryffindor name too :p

Divination was probably quite important in that time period, I imagine it held the place of what science is today. It will definitely show up in the story again.

I'm glad you're curious about what is to come. I feel kind of bad keeping you waiting though because I don't have a computer with me so it will probably be slow going from here in terms of writing! I will do my best but... it may be a while :-/

Thank you so much for your support on this story so far, your reviews have been wonderful! I really appreciate it.

... And now to kick my brain into gear so I can finally write something on this story...

 Report Review

Review #34, by Lululuna Chapter V

2nd February 2014:
Hello! :D

Oh, poor Rowena. :( I feel almost a little embarrassed for her, how although she has all these amazing accomplishments she still wears her feelings for Salazar on her sleeve.

Ugh, and so Salazar's pureblood ideals begin. It's funny, because the way you've set it up actually makes me quite sympathetic to where he's coming from, even though I know he's wrong and this is going to cause a whole lot of trouble for, oh, at least a thousand years to come.

The hat kills me here, I love how sassy it is. The explanation of how it came to be was really brilliant as well, I love how logical everything is and how it compliments canon in your writing.

AHA! Didn't I call that Laudine was a Slytherin?? I feel like I did, hehe.

I like how you kept with the idea that Rowena only wanted the most clever students to come to Hogwarts. It fits really well with her personality, but I like how she's managed to change her mind. It did make me smile, though, how territorial they already are about the students in their own houses and whether they are brilliant or dunderheads or what.

I love the mention of Slytherin's locket as well, and how Elaine was the one who got it for him! Poor Rowena, having to see him marry somebody who was quite like herself. I'm not sure how I feel yet about this Elaine character...

Helga is so wonderful, she seems like a really amazing friend and one of those very empathetic people who can understand where others are coming from. I love how she defended the students' rights to come to Hogwarts, and how she seemed to see inside Rowena's emotions and try to be there for her. She's just lovely.

Honestly, the sassy sorting hat really made my night, especially when it was going on about not liking Godric and how its mouth came to be. The idea of them enchanting it to sing was so funny as well - it does love to sing! The chapter wasn't silly at all - I mean, there were some humourous parts, but you really captured the JKR sense of serious-humour I think, the sort of humour which had her name the school Hogwarts.

I love this story - sorry that this review is a little scrambled as it's been a long day (I weirdly spelt "wrong" as "ron" up above and didn't realize for a while so I dread the typos which will pop up). But I really enjoyed this and can't wait to come back for the next chapter! :D

Author's Response: I know, poor Rowena :( I don't think she quite knows what to do about her feelings for him, since they're not something she can logically explain away as she would do with anything else.

Thank you, I'm glad you feel sympathetic towards Salazar! I didn't want to show him as a closed-minded person with unfounded hatred, but it did have to come from somewhere. I think it was more of a slow building thing. Anyway, I am really glad you liked his story here.

Haha, that's wonderful to hear about the hat :p I was not expecting it to be that way at first, but that's how it ended up and I liked it so I kept it. I tell you, it really has a mind of its own. Ah, I'm so glad you think it complements canon too!

You did call that! I was so excited when you mentioned it a few chapters ago and I wanted to tell you, but couldn't give it away then haha.

As much as they wanted to be selective about students in their houses, they (certainly not Rowena, who values intelligence and learning) wouldn't want to turn people away who wanted to learn from them.

I'm so glad you like Helga! The other founders seem to be kind of rubbish at feelings sometimes, so they are luckyt that she isn't :p

I am so thrilled that you liked the Sorting Hat :D And honestly, saying that it is comparable to JK's humour, eee that's a huge compliment, thank you! I agree about "serious humour" though, there's just something very quirky about the entire wizarding world.

Ahh thank you, it means so much to me that you like it because I adore your writing, so having one of my favourite authors say that to me makes me just hjshkdhnahsiv. Don't worry about typos,, I'm sure there's plenty of typos in my response too since I'm typing it on a tablet haha!

Thank you so much!!

 Report Review

Review #35, by kenpo Chapter II

31st January 2014:
Hey! Here with your review! Yay!

Hah. The opening line sets up his character, as well as his relationship with Rowena, so well. I like blunt openers like that.

"mounting sense of dread"
really like that.

Yes! The sword. Oh! In the last chapter, Helga had a cup, didn't she?!

Wow, kenpo, that took you a while...

But yay, the sword. Wait, I'm pretty sure you mentioned the sword in chapter one, too.

Moving on!

I like that he says he can't fight with his wand because it'd be unfair. That's also good for defining his character.

It's very unusual that his wife would fight alongside him, isn't it?

Oh no! I can see how this would lead to strained relations between magic and muggle...

The pacing of the section where the muggle is killed is a little too fast for my tastes. I found myself having to go back and reread it because I nearly missed what was happening. I also lack focus, so take that with a (few) grain(s) of salt.

Whoa. I totally wasn't expecting them to come up with the idea for the school right there.

I really like the way you're weaving existing history into the story. It gives it a really fantastic depth and makes it more enjoyable to read.

I think the founders are so interesting. They display pretty clearly the traits that they give to their houses, but they're still real people. They have flaws, and you've portrayed that well.

This review is really disorganised and probably not very helpful... but here it is! I really do enjoy reading this. Feel free to rerequest!

Author's Response: Oh good, I'm glad you like the opening line! That's a pretty important part of a chapter because if it weren't interesting no one would bother to read on :p It is wonderful to hear that that line is effective characterisation.

Yep that should be a familiar cup and sword ;) Haha, don't worry if it took you a while - my point was to be subtle about those things and not say something like "Look, Helga has a cup which will become a Horcrux in a thousand years!" So I'm kind of glad they didnt jump out at you, and fit seamlessly into the story.

It may be unusual. But I think witches probably had a stronger role in society than most women of the time. Besides, why should she not be awesome in a battle? :p

It is a bit fast paced, I was kind of trying to have it move faster than the previous section which moves much slower. I will have a look at it again though to see if I can clear it up, I'm not trying to confuse people!

I am so glad you like my portrayal of the Founders with all their flaws. They may have started a successful wizarding school but they are human, and people have flaws.

Thank you so much for your review!!

 Report Review

Review #36, by kenpo Chapter I

26th January 2014:
Hey! Finally here with your requested review! Sorry it took so long!

Alright, just from the opening paragraph, I'm really liking this. Your descriptions are well written, and you've added a point of interest; who is the man she wishes were there?

I like the interaction between Rowena and her mother.

Haha, I like how she's got a bit of attitude with the Lord. "sycophantic suitors" what a fantastic description.

I like your brief mention of Helga. I like to get all the characters and their basic web of relationships out in the open.

After all the obsequious and arbitrary compliments shed heard that evening, it was refreshing to hear a real one. Despite the simplicity of his statement, Rowena could feel her heart fluttering.

I can totally imagine how she's looking back at the estate. It has a really playful atmosphere that I'm really enjoying.

I love your ideas about brooms!

Oh no! Salazar has another lady?!

Okay. I liked this. A lot. For the points that you asked about...

I think you used a good amount of description. I got a feel for the setting, but without having one long block of descriptive text. I like the way you weaved character descriptions into the narrative rather than setting aside time to describe them, if that makes sense. Like you told us what color hair Helga and Rowena have while describing their actions. Which I liked. I got description, but not all thrown at me.
Wow, sorry, I'm rambling.

Characterisation: Again, no complaints! I enjoyed the contrasts between Helga and Rowena, and I'm looking forward to reading more of them. There wasn't much of Godric, but I'm already seeing clear personalities. You've done a marvelous job at starting to define the characterisation.

Story Flow: Right on point. There were clear "sections" of the story, so it didn't feel like one long, relentless story, but thsoe sections blended together well into a pleasurable narrative.

Is it interesting: Yes! I love Founders stuff, so I thought it was interesting before I even started reading. But I think you've got a really great start. This is a really cool first chapter. You've given enough information to give a good idea of what you can expect from the rest of the story without giving away too much.

Really great, thanks for requesting! Feel free to rerequest (I'll try to be better about getting back you to you...)

Author's Response: Hi! Wow, what a lovely review!

I'm so glad you liked it from the first paragraph, that is really wonderful to hear!

Thanks, I'm happy that you like that style of descriptions and thought it worked! And that description of the suitors haha, yeah I thought it sounded like something very Ravenclaw-y to say haha.

:D thanks, I'm happy you enjoyed the part about brooms!
Also great to hear that about the characterisation. I'm glad you liked the bit wih Rowena and her mother, and the contrasts between Helga and Rowena. Its nice to hear that their personalities are already clear. Yeah, there wasn't much of Godric in this chapter, but the next one is from his POV so you get to see his side there.

Yay, I'm glad you like Founders era - and that you find the story interesting! This was a very nice review, thank you!

 Report Review

Review #37, by Lululuna Chapter IV

18th January 2014:
Hola! :)

Ooh, this is so interesting! I like how we're beginning to see the foundations of how the Founders had a rift. It all fits really well: Salazar's point about teaching the Dark Arts in lessons was quite interesting. I thought he had a good point, but that teaching the Dark Arts instead of explicitly teaching how to defend against them would most likely set a bad precedent. I like the sort of hint that he might (well, maybe) be influencing his house towards learning the Dark Arts- that might explain why Slytherin is so traditionally evil!

I felt quite sorry for him and Maeve. Of course it was quite historically correct that Maeve would be afraid of someone who could speak to snakes, because of the whole fall of man and the bible and everything. It almost made me think that she suddenly started seeing Salazar as a Satan-like figure who was going to lure her into temptation. It fits so smoothly how this encounter and disappointment from Maeve would lead to Salazar being prejudiced against Muggles and Muggleborns.

Also, on a side note, I thought the snake was kind of cute. How is assured Salazar it wasn't venomous and said thanks when he protected it from Maeve. It was sweet, in a slithery way. :P

I felt sorry for how he was manipulating Rowena a bit, thinking she'd choose his side because she likes him. His willingness to peek into her mind reinforced how he does sort of have dubious morals. I liked, though, how Rowena had advised him not to marry Maeve (surprise surprise), and how she told him flat out not to teach his students the Dark Arts, because they would know. It was quite sassy and sure.

I like how Helga is already a little wary about the house separation and how it might be dangerous. That seemed very wise and fair of her, and really fit her persona.

Great chapter! :D

Author's Response: Hello! What a lovely surprise review :D I'm glad you found this chapter interesting with the hints of a rift between the Founders. Honestly I think Salazar had a good point too, but yeah he probably went about it in the wrong way.

I'm glad you thought Maeve's rejection of Salazar seemed historically correct! I think there would have been a lot of superstition back then, particularly around snakes as you said - and so Salazar being a Parselmouth would have that issue at one point or another, even when he was only trying to help her.

Hehe, I'm glad you liked the snake! Poor snake, it's just misunderstood :p

Yea, he does manipulate her a bit. I guess she manipulated him too by telling him not to marry Maeve :p Yeah, I thought she seemed like the sort of person who can get away with sassy comments. I'm glad you thought that anxiousness seemed to fit Helga's personality too!

Thanks so much for the review!! ♥

 Report Review

Review #38, by LilyLou Chapter I

16th January 2014:
Hello, here for our review swap!

This was very unique and different. I don't read or write much founders. I only have a 500 word one shot, but it really only inferred that it was Helena Ravenclaw. There was no touching on the true founders era, and what it was like.

You did a spectacular job exposing the readers to the way the world works. I'd have thought Rowena's parents would force her into marriage, given the day and age this is based in.

really great story!


Author's Response: Hello there!

I'm glad you stopped by to read this one despite not often reading Founders. I'm thrilled to hear that the workings of the medieval wizarding world was good!

In my mind, I have always seen Rowena as quite a stubborn person so her parents probably didn't try to force her into marriage because they knew she wouldn't do it.

Thanks for your review!!

 Report Review

Review #39, by Lululuna Chapter III

15th January 2014:
Hello! :D

Oh my god I'm so excited you discussed how they came up with the name! I feel like it's been around for so long that I forget to dwell on the rather ridiculous idea of the name of a school having not only "warts," but "hog" in the title. But I love your explanation of wanting to name it after a plant, but then not having it be too pretentious- that's so clever! I like how Rowena thinks the idea of the changing staircases would be fun, and how she used to do that at home, it's just a fantastic and really exciting idea.

I don't know if I want you to be in charge of the floor plan anymore," said Salazar lightheartedly. Oh shut up, Salazar. You're probably already sketching out the designs for your self-portrait in the chamber of secrets.

I really love all the peculiarities of the building itself, it was so fascinating. The detail about the giant knocking down the tower really made me laugh, and I love how it was really a group effort in creating Hogwarts. The different spells they used to fortify the castle and protect the area from the snow were just testimony to the founders really being four of the great wizards and witches of the age.

Which reminds me, I also loved how Rowena insisted on witchcraft being included in the name of the school. :)

I really like Helga. She has those qualities of a Hufflepuff being very loyal and hardworking, and she's a very clear leader and brilliant mind.

I love how one student arrived on a dragon! That is awesome, and so very medieval. And Eustace is a glorious name. I feel like as cool as the Hogwarts express is, in some ways it doesn't make sense to sit on a train for hours when there are so many faster ways of transportation (such as dragons). Anyway, another cool detail was how the house elves first got started working there! It's so cute to think of the elves serving Hogwarts for generations, all descended from those first builders.

That's a really unique way for the Sorting to begin, before all the prejudices started. I like how Hufflepuff seemed to "take the lot" not because she takes the outcasts, but because she's so involved in the community and is someone who is familiar and well-liked.

The idea of levitating feathers being a Charms first year tradition throughout the centuries makes me so happy! The idea of the other students Summoning the feathers by accident made me laugh as well.

Ugh, Maeve. I'm still really shipping Salazar and Rowena, even though Salazar is probably feeding his baby basilisk its first mice by now. Something about Maeve makes me suspicious about why Salazar might hate Muggles again in the future.

Not particularly exciting?!! As you can probably tell from all the gushing I loved this chapter. You really put so much thought and detail into it and I thought it was fantastic, and was hanging off every word. Well done! :D

Author's Response: ¡Hola!

Ha, I'm glad you liked the possible explanation of how Hogwarts got its name. I really had always wondered that - it's the most ridiculous name for a school ever.

I think Rowena probably had a mischievous side, as that and cleverness/intelligence often seem to go hand in hand! I loved the idea of her as a little kid trying to figure out how to irritate her family by moving the furniture with magic :p

Your comment about Salazar planning out his portrait already made me laugh. And also the part at the end about him feeding mice to the basilisk. :D Hahah! Poor Salazar...

I'm so glad you liked the part about the construction! It was interesting to combine the idea of construction with magic and but considering how long things took to build without magic in the 10th century, I just did a lot of guessing! I think it could only be a team effort, and they were probably a team for much of their history.

Someone had to be the voice of gender equality, even if it is the year 978 lol. And she would absolutely stand up for her intelligence. My excuse is that the magical world might not have the same societal influences/stigmas as the Muggles, even then.

There had to be one kid who came in a ludicrous manner to show off. I think dragons would be cooler than a train too :P I'm glad you liked the introduction of the house elves!

As I see it they probably didn't have everything in place from the beginning, so they had a kind of rudimentary sorting here. Yes, thank you - that's exactly how I was trying to show Hufflepuff here, very involved and welcoming and therefore just knows everyone.

I'm so glad you liked the detail in this chapter, it was a blast to write :) Ah, thank you so much, I am thrilled to hear that you loved this chapter! This was a really wonderful review!! ♥

 Report Review

Review #40, by LightLeviosa5443 Chapter I

12th January 2014:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap, you didn't specify a story, and this one caught my eye, so I figured I'd chose it, though if you have a preference I can go back and do another!

Anywho, I've only ever read one chapter of a founders fic, so I'm fairly unknown to this particular era of story. I loved this. I love how you portray the founders, and their friendship. I found Rowena's fancying of Salazar very believable and endearing, even!

I don't think there was a part of the story I didn't love, it was all just so well done. Description of Rowena's tower, to the party, to Helga's house and her lifestyle. The comparison between Rowena and Helga's lifestyles. I think it was all just so wonderful and believable and I certainly wouldn't worry about glaring historical errors. I didn't notice any!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Hi Sarah! :) nope definitely read whichever you want! Ooh, I'm glad you chose this one then if you don't read much Founders! I love the era myself. I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of the Founders and their friendship! Aw, and I'm glad you like Rowena and Salazar too :)

It's great to hear that about the description too, I worked on that a lot in this fic. Hah, good to know there's no noticeable historical problems! Thanks for such a wonderful review and I'm so glad you enjoyed the read!

 Report Review

Review #41, by maraudertimes Chapter III

11th January 2014:
Hello! Here for the review swap!

In your author's note at the end, I noticed that you apologized that this wasn't particularly exciting. I agree. But don't apologize for that - it was interesting, not exciting! It was really cool to see how the creation of Hogwarts went about and I really liked the small details you added, such as one of the giants accidentally knocking down a tower - not only was it funny, but it was believable.

Overall, this chapter was really well executed! The fact that they are all completely involved in this school is really nice to see, and the sweet side of Slytherin, before his muggle-hating ways begin was really cool to read (again, I'm scared as to how he comes about his harsher demeanor - something traumatic no doubt).

That they were conscious of muggleborns was another touch I was particularly fond of, as they wanted any young witch or wizard to receive training in the magical arts.

I do sense that perhaps they need to figure out the first year, second year, third year, etc. system soon. Fire around young children levitating easily flammable feathers? That could cause a bit of a disaster :P

I'm curious as to how the other Founders are feeling about the school, so I'm hoping to be able to come back to this when I next have the chance.

I really liked this chapter and I'm really happy I did this review swap!

Amazing job!

P.S. The dragon rider in Godric's house made me giggle. Good job with the little details! I'm hoping to see how you integrate the sorting hat into this as well!

Author's Response: Hi there Lo! :)

I'm glad you don't mind that the chapter wasn't that exciting, and rather that you thought it was interesting :p Ah, I am really happy to hear that you liked the details about the building process. Perhaps I underestimated people's desire to read about building construction :P

I'm glad you like Slytherin here! I figured they all had to be involved at the beginning. But yes things are coming for Slytherin... next chapter is from his POV, actually!

Hahah yeah fire and feathers, instant recipe for disaster! I don't think the entire school could have run smoothly at the beginning though, so they have to learn as they go!

Haha, thanks! I love the silly things like that in the books, so I made sure to add that in here. The Sorting Hat comes in I think in the next chapter, or the one following.

I am really glad you enjoyed this chapter, thanks for the swap! ♥

 Report Review

Review #42, by Lululuna Chapter II

10th January 2014:
Hola! :) I'm here from our swap, but I see you have your new story up so as I owe you some lovely prize reviews, I'm going to come back for that sometime this weekend! :D

The idea of the skirmish was really great as a catalyst to difficult Muggle/wizard relations! It was really creative too how you wove it in with history of Viking invaders, and it felt quite realistic... well, for a magical medieval world. :P The thought of using magic against the Muggles does seem quite unfair the more I think about it, though as a wizard I don't know if I'd be able to resist it. And the description of some of the invaders having goats hooves and one turned to stone did make me giggle. :P

Ah, Godric. He's very noble, but I almost empathize more with Laudine and her instincts. She seems a little Slytherin to me. I thought it was very fitting for Godric not to want to use magic against the invaders and how he thought it was unfair: it must be a very rare thing but really shows how good and fair of a man he is, and how he has chivalry as well.

He seems to live up to everything I imagined Gryffindor would be. It's so interesting to read Founders stories since the portrayals of the Founders display the qualities which generations of wizarding children will identify themselves with, but that fact almost makes it more intriguing when the Founders have human faults of their own.

The scene with the children was really sweet, and how it inspired Godric and Rowena to think of the idea for the school. I loved the image of Godric teaching them to make butterflies and the one child producing a catterpilliar- it was really adorable to think of their excitement. I'm really glad that a Muggleborn wizard was included as well in giving a historical backdrop to the upcoming Muggleborn conflicts.

I like how Godric wonders if the change to the school would be for better or worse, and if it would separate the Muggles from wizards even more and breed more suspicion. It's quite clear in the chapter that wizards get carried away with their powers and this fear and resentment can quickly escalate, so I'm very curious to find out how these problems are confronted and progress in the time period.

A wonderful chapter, I'm really enjoying this! :D

Author's Response: Eep yeah, meant to PM you about that new story and forgot :P

I'm glad you liked the aspect of the Viking raids highlighting the Muggle/wizard dynamics. I think it would have to be something big like that which sparks the idea that wizards should have a school so far away from everyone else. I'm glad it seemed realistic! I think it'd be pretty unfair too, although I imagine that some wizards, if they were losing, just couldn't resist.

Heheh, I am actually glad to hear that Laudine sounds like she'd be a Slytherin. ;) As for Godric, I'm so glad to hear that! I think he's noble to a fault. In my mind at least, the most well known traits of the Founders are those that identify them, as their strengths, but also sometimes their downfall... well, his sense of chivalry isn't really a downfall here I guess, just an inconvenience in the battle :p

Aw, I'm glad you liked that scene! I had a lot of fun writing that - like the very beginning of his teaching career :p

Thanks for the review swap, and I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story! :D

 Report Review

Review #43, by Lululuna Chapter I

30th December 2013:
Hi Kristin! I'm here for Day 4 of the 12 Days of Reviewing! I've been meaning to review this story for a while but keep missing you in review tag/getting distracted so lucky me that you have less than 10 stories posted. :P

I love how much historical background you've put into the story, and how you've wound it into wizarding life as well. The story about Lord Redwald made me laugh so much, and I loved Rowena's scepticism about him and how he protected his castle. I think you played up well the sort of semi-ridiculous portrayal of wizards and their shortcuts that JKR talks about in canon. I also liked the mentions of the king and the tensions brewing with the Viking invaders which would have been very relevant to the time.

The explanations of how wizards and muggles got along or how some people thought they should be separate was really interesting too. I thought it was curious how while Salazar has come around and is in love with a muggle, he obviously still harbours bitterness against the muggles who drove him out and this sort of underlying hatred could prove to be very interesting in the future.

I absolutely love Helga and how warm and accepting she is, and how she honestly would miss the company of muggles. She seems like such a great character, but not the sort of soft, weak option but a woman whose wisdom is valued and compliments Rowena's instead of being less. That was a wonderful portrayal of her. I also liked how you established the friendship between the two women and the two men, since we know from the sorting hat song that those two pairs were very close.

I really like Rowena already. She seems very spirited and wise, but she also has a sort of innocence and immaturity which I'm interested to see develop over the story. It made me smile when she was sort of bitterly thinking that perhaps she wasn't pretty enough for Salazar and that intelligence and wit weren't what he valued in a woman- sadly, I'm sure that was true for many men of the time, but there's time for him to change his mind!

This was a brilliant first chapter, I loved how you wrote the Founders and explored the era. Looking forward to reading more soon! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! Haha, lucky me that I keep being so slow to write that I haven't yet posted other stories, it was such a lovely surprise to see reviews on this for the 12 days of reviewing!

I love history, and did quite a bit of research on the time period when I began writing this, so I'm really happy to hear that you liked the historical background and references to the Vikings, the king, etc. I'm glad you liked Lord Redwald's story too! You're right, there do seem to be a lot of semi-ridiculous wizards in the books taking odd shortcuts - he definitely fits the bill.

Salazar, I have always thought, is a complicated character who couldn't always have been just a straightforward Muggle hater. There is bitterness for sure, but at least for now it isn't too strong. I'm glad you liked the description of wizard/Muggle relations at the time too.

Ah, thank you! I really wanted to show Helga in a good light because Hufflepuff often gets overlooked, but I think she had to have been pretty awesome in order to be a Founder of Hogwarts! I'm so glad you liked the way I wrote their friendship, too - that means a lot!

I'm thrilled you like Rowena too. Even though she's so clever and sensible, she does have a shallow side sometimes too :P The story is told in alternating viewpoints from all four Founders, so the next time it comes around to Rowena's POV again she has definitely changed a bit.

Thank you for a wonderful review! ♥ ♥

 Report Review

Review #44, by BookDinosaur Chapter I

30th December 2013:

I'm here for the Fourth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing. :) And also because I've read this chapter and this review is overdue.

I loved reading this chapter, you did an amazing job with it! Every story needs a good first chapter to suck the readers in, and I think this fit the bill perfectly. I really enjoyed reading about tenth century England and since I'm not a historian I didn't spot any historical errors. I like your take on the marriage process, the only thing I noticed was that I thought the marrage customs would have been stricter and her mother would be forcing Roawena to marry someone. But maybe it's because they're magical, I'm not sure.

I really enjoyed reading about Rowena, I think you characterised her really well here. Since we know almost nothing about the Founders excpet they were exceptional magical people and they each had base characteristics, so you could make Rowena pretty much anything. I think you did a great job showing how clever she was and how she enjoyed academic things more than others, but she's young and impressionable as well, and I think her infatuation with Salazar proves that.

Speaking of Saazar, I think it's really interesting that he's interested in a Muggle girl, seeing as he's the one championing blood purity later on. Ooh, maybe some trouble with the girl will turn him against Muggles? How intriguing.

I really like how you've portrayed the Founders as friends and how they connect and trust each other.

The dialogue here was really good - if anything I think tenth century English might have been slightly more formal and clunky, but overall it was really good, formal enough to give off an old-fashioned air, but not too clunky that it ruined the flow, so wel done to you there.

One thing I noticed here was that Rowena could Apparate into her tower, but when Salazar comes to collect her and go to Helga's she says she cannot get down of she'll tear her dress. Maybe she just wanted Salazar to help her down?

Anyway, all in all this was a great chapter Kristin, I really enjoyed it. Great job!

Author's Response: HI EMILY!

Ah yay! I'm so glad you thought this was a good first chapter and that you enjoyed reading about tenth century England. I did do a fair bit of research about the era so I hope it's reasonably accurate, but... unless I get a chance to fly off in a time machine/TARDIS there's no way I'll ever know for sure! haha. I think Rowena isn't the type to be told what to do, so even though her mother does want her to get married to keep with the customs of the time, she knows Rowena won't unless it's her own idea.

I'm so glad you liked my characterisation of Rowena! There is definitely a lot of room for creativity while writing the Founders, because all we have on them is the opinions of the Sorting Hat, Professor Binns, and the Grey Lady. And yes, even the most intelligent, academic people can have silly crushes. Just look at Hermione in CoS! :p

I'm glad you think the situation with Salazar is intriguing! Yeah, I don't think he would always have been a Muggle hater, otherwise he wouldn't have been such good friends with Godric, which we know he was.

I've always been iffy on the dialogue. Honestly tenth century English was like this weird Germanic/Anglo-Saxon hybrid that probably didn't sound anything at all like the English we know; I don't know how formal it was. But you can't really write a Founders fic with colloquial dialogue because it would sound kind of silly, and a little too much like the movie "A Knight's Tale" hahaha. Anyway, I'm rambling... I'm glad the balance was good and that you liked the dialogue overall!

That last bit.. maybe Apparating isn't seen as something a proper lady should do in company - it doesn't sound very graceful. But I think Rowena just wanted Salazar to help her down. She's smart enough to Apparate, but also smart enough to be manipulative if she needs to :p

Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review!

 Report Review

Review #45, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter IV

26th December 2013:
There's a lot to this chapter, and while reading I found myself wishing that you'd included Slytherin's chapter sooner because there's just so much here to deal with. His backstory is probably the most complicated of the four founders, certainly the most conflicted. I was fascinated by the relationship between him and Maeve even while I was anticipating its inevitably sad end. The idea that Slytherin was engaged to a Muggle and had struggled to gain her love is wonderfully creative and adds a new facet to Slytherin's characterization - he's not just a straightforward pureblooded Muggle-hater. There has to be something more to it like this that precipitates his breaking from the other Founders, too. You've found a way of filling in that gap in wizarding history, and it's very effective.

It had to be something abrupt like this that brought on its end, and the fact that it was over a green snake was absolutely perfect. That was really well done! However, I wish that the chapter as a whole, detailing their relationship as it did, had been drawn out more. Time passed so quickly that it's difficult to properly understand Maeve's character and Slytherin's motivations. You give an idea that Maeve doesn't comprehend how magic works and where it comes from, but it still seems strange that Slytherin talking to the snake disturbs her to such a degree - was her love just that fragile and shallow, despite her claims earlier in the chapter that she now trusted and loved him? Is it because his ability to speak to snakes makes them not the same (as she also claimed at an earlier point)? Why does she turn on him in that way, so completely? I can't blame Slytherin for overreacting like he did, not if Maeve's love proved so fickle.

This chapter contains strong scenes like the one with the snake and the one between the Founders as they discussed the school's progress and further development. You write the four of them together so well, and it's great to see how these aspects of Hogwarts developed slowly through trial and error. You take into account things that most authors would forget, yet the way that classes are taught and the organization of those classes is hugely important. I love seeing those kind of practical considerations - they make the story feel that much more realistic.

The one thing I think could be improved upon with this chapter is that, especially in the first half and at the very end, you include a lot of telling. You cover a considerable amount of material in a single chapter, and it's rather overwhelming. It would help if you divided the scenes more, especially those between Slytherin and Maeve - it's a significant aspect of the narrative, and right now, it feels rushed. The different times they meet blur together too easily, and while there are important markers of the growing tension between Slytherin and Maeve in their dialogue, the narration doesn't do enough to support it. The narration in the scene with the snake did a lot more to enhance the dialogue and bring out the characters' emotions, whereas when Maeve asks to learn magic - a very important scene - the narration isn't as effective. I hope that this critique is helpful to you in some way.

It was great to have the chance to read another chapter of this story! It's fun to follow along with your interpretation of the Founders! :D

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you like the story of Salazar and Maeve, their abrupt ending, and the deeper aspect of Salazar's personality. I agree, it would be nice to have included more about him earlier on, but I think the previous chapters worked best as told by their respective narrators, so Slytherin came fourth, unfortunately. Maybe I will try to include some facet of their relationship as seen by one of the other Founders, in an earlier chapter, when I edit.

I will also make sure to include more about Maeve in this chapter - now that I look back at it, as you mentioned in your last paragraph, she only has a couple of scenes. To be honest, my intention in writing this was a kind of love-blinded Salazar who doesn't really consider everything he should - and for that reason didn't see how shallow Maeve is. I will try to make that clearer, thanks for pointing it out :)

I'm so glad that you liked the slow development of Hogwarts, the trial and error of classes. I was really hoping the practical and relatively uneventful things like that wouldn't bog the story down, so this is really great to hear.

Thanks for your review!

 Report Review

Review #46, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter III

19th December 2013:
Since the first two chapters already had many reviews, I've skipped to this one to hopefully balance things out - if you'd like me to go back, I can, though I really just skimmed through those chapters to get a sense of your plot and characterizations. Founders stories are rather out of my realm, but I have really enjoyed this one, particularly because of the creative details you've added. Your writing is also very easy to read, and I think you've included enough historical content to properly set the story in the middle ages. There's a different atmosphere to the magical world here - it's far less organized, yet it was refreshing to see how well everyone was getting along, with even giants involved in the construction of Hogwarts. Although there are problems with Muggle-magic relations, there's an overall lightness to this story that also adds to the story. Other Founders stories I've read seem to focus on the negative things going on between the Founders, but here there's still an optimism that makes this story refreshing.

The way that the Founders decided on a name and Rowena's suggestion of the moving staircases was my favourite scene of the chapter - seeing the four of them working together and really brainstorming their way through the process felt very right, very canon, just as though JKR had written it herself. I also really liked how it was Helga who discovered the right place to build the castle - yay for Hufflepuff! Her visions of what the castle should look like were lovely to read!

The one thing I thought could have been expanded was the actual construction of the castle. How do wizards build castles? How did they put the various features together, the towers, the dungeons, the staircases? How did they decide on the common rooms for their houses? What aspects of the castle did each of them create? That part of the story went too quickly for me - it seemed as though the castle was put together too easily, and hearing more of the exact details would have only further enhanced the creativity of this story. It was great how you emphasized the teamwork involved in constructing the castle, and perhaps that was your chosen focus for this chapter. However, I think that adding more about what occurred during construction would have increased the action in this chapter. There were opportunities here to foreshadow Slytherin's creation of the Chamber of Secrets or even the later fracturing of the founders, and I would have been fantastic to see you include that kind of thing in some way.

Hopefully this review is helpful to you! It was great to finally be able to check out some of your writing, and I hope to have more opportunities to do so in the future. I've enjoyed reading this story so far - it's very well-written, with excellent characterizations of the founders. :D

Author's Response: Violet! ♥ Eek, I kind of turned into a melty puddle when I saw you had reviewed this, because I really admire your writing!

I'm so glad you have enjoyed the story thus far and like the historical setting and atmosphere - it's wonderful to hear that it seems properly medieval enough. I'm glad the beginning chapters feel optimistic; that's exactly what I was going for in the early stages of Hogwarts.

I loved writing that part actually, when they all work together to brainstorm. I think, in the beginning especially, there was a lot of teamwork in order to make things happen. Just like JKR wrote it herself? Seriously, best compliment ever, thank you!!

Originally I didn't expand much on the construction because I didn't think people would be as interested to read that, but you're the second person to comment that the construction was interesting. So, I will definitely be going back to add stuff in that section! Thanks a lot for the suggestions and I will keep that in mind.

Thanks so much for this absolutely lovely review! ♥

 Report Review

Review #47, by likeness_of_a_seabird Chapter VI

18th December 2013:
I'm back to review the last two chapters!

Well, first of all... the hat. *The hat*. God, I loved that hat. I could have read forever about it, insulting the founders (and everyone else). Someone needs to write a story about the Sorting Hat. The bit with the hat was the perfect length, as well; not too short, which means the reader had time to get to know the hat, but it wasn't too long either, which could have bored the reader.

About the dormitories: I can't remember for the life of me if there were some mention of the dormitories magically expanding in the books, but if there wasn't, I think it's a very clever idea.

I'm slowly warming up to Salazar, although I still think he could have been pushier about not admitting Muggle-borns; but that's just my opinion. I'm getting this feeling that although he is acting nice now, things are going to change radically very soon.

I liked the way you handled the founders' children. You kept Helena beautifully in character having her voice her dislike of being known only as Rowena Ravenclaw's daughter and I feel that you gave the other children very defined characters even though we saw very little of them.

I liked the last chapter. Although not much happened, I feel as though it's only the calm before the storm. Something big is about to come and it's coming soon.

Keep up the good work; I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so glad you like the hat! I honestly have no idea how it ended up being so sassy, but I think if I were a hat that had to deal with four personalities I might be a little irritated as well! :p

I don't remember the dormitories magically expanding in the books. (I suppose maybe they did - and if so I'd forgotten as well, but I don't think they did!) Anyway, thank you!!

Good prediction about Salazar ;) As we know, Hogwarts did well for a number of years with all four of them, so I figured there couldn't have been super intense arguments that early on. But yeah... it is approaching the end so you know something big is coming up.

Ah thank you! I'm so glad you think Helena is in character and that you liked the other children's personalities as well. I know they have a pretty limited role so it's really wonderful to hear that you think they had such defined characters. :)

I've been a little stuck in writing this one recently but I'm hoping to get the next chapter written over the next week! Thank you so much for your lovely review!!

 Report Review

Review #48, by likeness_of_a_seabird Chapter IV

17th December 2013:
Reviewing first four chapters here at the same time because I'm too lazy to type :)

I really like this. All four founders have very defined personalities and they have their unique voices which really come across to the reader.

The story is a bit slow-paced but not everything needs to be action-packed adventures. I think the slow pace suits this type of story. Telling each chapter from the viewpoint of a different founder works; this way, the reader becomes familiar with all of them and gets inside their heads better.

I like that you've made their backgrounds different. I can totally see Ravenclaw being a high-born lady while Hufflepuff comes from more modest origins. The origins of Gryffindor and Slytherin are not so clearly defined but it doesn't bother me in the least. The mention to their origins could have been added to the story, but leaving it out does not make the reader lose anything important.

The only thing I'm having a bit of trouble is Slytherin. Unfortunately, I find his character, at least in these early chapters, a bit unbelievable, particularly concerning his relationship with Maeve. While it is certainly possible that he could fall in love with a Muggle, the ending of their relationship seemed a bit abrupt. I would have personally liked to see some hints of her mistrust towards magic and magic users growing and how she has been told it is supposedly connected to devil, even if Slytherin himself would not be able to see those hints. You could have perhaps expanded that conversation Maeve had with Slytherin about how she would be surrounded by magic and be unable to use it herself.

However, all in all I'm really enjoying this story. I love history and historical fiction and although it might not be completely historically accurate, I'm willing to turn a blind eye on them, since they do not disrupt the flow of the story. Keep on the good work!

Author's Response: Hi there! Ahh what a lovely surprise! Thank you, I'm really glad the personalities of the characters are so effective and unique and that the POV works, that is wonderful to hear :) You're right, I wanted to get inside each of their heads and show the events as each of them sees it.

Slytherin's origins are mentioned briefly in that he has prior, unpleasant history with Muggles, but year otherwise he and Gryffindor aren't really explained. I may put that in a later chapter, thanks for the suggestion :)

Slytherin's split with Maeve was supposed to seem abrupt. Because it's from his point of view and it's something he never saw coming, their relationship was meant to seem too perfect, how it was through the eyes of someone blinded by love. At least that's what I was going for. As for the magic connection to the devil, in those days magic/witchcraft were frowned upon and considered untrustworthy, and people were very religious back then (though this was before the days of witch burnings - that was a couple hundred years later) And now, at the risk of sounding like Professor Binns, I will move on! :p The next chapter is from Slytherin's POV which will get into his mind a lot more.

Thank you SO much for this wonderful review, and I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story!! ♥

 Report Review

Review #49, by maraudertimes Chapter II

27th November 2013:

This chapter was a little sadder than the last, especially the part about the children, but I found Godric's voice endearing. He really does believe in equality for all.

I'm excited to see how this school plan goes (I already know the ending, but the process will be cool to read about), and I'm definitely anticipating how they named it (Hogwarts? Really?). Also, I assume this might be when Salazar decides to take up his old pureblood habits, so I think it'll be interesting to see how you manage to work with that.

One more thing: I really loved how Godric's wife rushed in to battle. At that age I'm guessing women weren't typically warriors, but since she's a witch I assume many men thought highly of her (until the incident, of course). It was really cool to see a woman in that sort of position, so kudos to you!

Overall, I really liked this chapter and I'm anticipating the others! One more chapter and I might be hooked! :)

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there! Aw, I'm really glad you liked Godric's voice in this. Yeah it is pretty sad, but I think there needed to be a motivation to start a school in the first place because formal schools weren't really a thing in the tenth century, haha.

Much of the next chapter covers that, actually (the planning, and how they named the school. Ha I know right? Hogwarts is the most bizarre name. Wizards are strange people.)

Thanks, I'm glad you liked Laudine! I'm sure it wasn't typical, but hey, it could have happened, especially with witches! Someone had to challenge gender stereotypes even in the 900's :p

Thanks so much for reading, and for your wonderful review! I'm so glad you are enjoying the story so far!! ♥

 Report Review

Review #50, by Bellatrixlestrange123 Chapter I

27th November 2013:
Hi there! I'm here for our review swap :)

I think you did an amazing job at characterizing Rowena. Even though she is, I'll admit, a canon character. Her personality is still something that was yet to be set in stone so just like I said in my review for 'on air', you had the full rights to turn Rowena into a person entirely of your liking. Of course her character had to embody the traits of Ravenclaw house to some extent but even then, you did an absolutely unbeatable job, well done!

Now, I'm not an historian so even if they were a few errors here and there, I didn't notice them at all and even if they were then you don't need to worry about them because I doubt they would make this story any less of the lovely piece of writing that it is. Your paragraphs and imagery flowed smoothly and your writing was very plain sailing and lovely to read.

What's more is that I am very jealous of how effortless your dialogue came across to the reader and trust me, I find dialogue so so so hard to write (ugh). So, I am in awe of the fact that you could pull it off so well.

I will definitely be reading more of this, keep up the good work!

Bella x

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much, I'm so glad you like my charactersation of Rowena! My goal in that was to bring out the traits of Ravenclaw house in her character, and you're absolutely right in that there's still a lot of leeway in fully developing a character who doesn't actually appear in the books.

Thank you for the lovely compliments about my writing style and imagery! ♡ And I'm glad there are no noticeable historical errors, haha.

I'm glad the dialogue worked too. I understand your difficulties with writing dialogue! To be honest I've always wondered if the dialogue in this story sounded too modern, so thanks - that is so great to hear that it seems effortless.

Thanks so much for reading, and for your review!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>