69 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter IV

26th December 2013:
There's a lot to this chapter, and while reading I found myself wishing that you'd included Slytherin's chapter sooner because there's just so much here to deal with. His backstory is probably the most complicated of the four founders, certainly the most conflicted. I was fascinated by the relationship between him and Maeve even while I was anticipating its inevitably sad end. The idea that Slytherin was engaged to a Muggle and had struggled to gain her love is wonderfully creative and adds a new facet to Slytherin's characterization - he's not just a straightforward pureblooded Muggle-hater. There has to be something more to it like this that precipitates his breaking from the other Founders, too. You've found a way of filling in that gap in wizarding history, and it's very effective.

It had to be something abrupt like this that brought on its end, and the fact that it was over a green snake was absolutely perfect. That was really well done! However, I wish that the chapter as a whole, detailing their relationship as it did, had been drawn out more. Time passed so quickly that it's difficult to properly understand Maeve's character and Slytherin's motivations. You give an idea that Maeve doesn't comprehend how magic works and where it comes from, but it still seems strange that Slytherin talking to the snake disturbs her to such a degree - was her love just that fragile and shallow, despite her claims earlier in the chapter that she now trusted and loved him? Is it because his ability to speak to snakes makes them not the same (as she also claimed at an earlier point)? Why does she turn on him in that way, so completely? I can't blame Slytherin for overreacting like he did, not if Maeve's love proved so fickle.

This chapter contains strong scenes like the one with the snake and the one between the Founders as they discussed the school's progress and further development. You write the four of them together so well, and it's great to see how these aspects of Hogwarts developed slowly through trial and error. You take into account things that most authors would forget, yet the way that classes are taught and the organization of those classes is hugely important. I love seeing those kind of practical considerations - they make the story feel that much more realistic.

The one thing I think could be improved upon with this chapter is that, especially in the first half and at the very end, you include a lot of telling. You cover a considerable amount of material in a single chapter, and it's rather overwhelming. It would help if you divided the scenes more, especially those between Slytherin and Maeve - it's a significant aspect of the narrative, and right now, it feels rushed. The different times they meet blur together too easily, and while there are important markers of the growing tension between Slytherin and Maeve in their dialogue, the narration doesn't do enough to support it. The narration in the scene with the snake did a lot more to enhance the dialogue and bring out the characters' emotions, whereas when Maeve asks to learn magic - a very important scene - the narration isn't as effective. I hope that this critique is helpful to you in some way.

It was great to have the chance to read another chapter of this story! It's fun to follow along with your interpretation of the Founders! :D

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you like the story of Salazar and Maeve, their abrupt ending, and the deeper aspect of Salazar's personality. I agree, it would be nice to have included more about him earlier on, but I think the previous chapters worked best as told by their respective narrators, so Slytherin came fourth, unfortunately. Maybe I will try to include some facet of their relationship as seen by one of the other Founders, in an earlier chapter, when I edit.

I will also make sure to include more about Maeve in this chapter - now that I look back at it, as you mentioned in your last paragraph, she only has a couple of scenes. To be honest, my intention in writing this was a kind of love-blinded Salazar who doesn't really consider everything he should - and for that reason didn't see how shallow Maeve is. I will try to make that clearer, thanks for pointing it out :)

I'm so glad that you liked the slow development of Hogwarts, the trial and error of classes. I was really hoping the practical and relatively uneventful things like that wouldn't bog the story down, so this is really great to hear.

Thanks for your review!


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Review #27, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter III

19th December 2013:
Since the first two chapters already had many reviews, I've skipped to this one to hopefully balance things out - if you'd like me to go back, I can, though I really just skimmed through those chapters to get a sense of your plot and characterizations. Founders stories are rather out of my realm, but I have really enjoyed this one, particularly because of the creative details you've added. Your writing is also very easy to read, and I think you've included enough historical content to properly set the story in the middle ages. There's a different atmosphere to the magical world here - it's far less organized, yet it was refreshing to see how well everyone was getting along, with even giants involved in the construction of Hogwarts. Although there are problems with Muggle-magic relations, there's an overall lightness to this story that also adds to the story. Other Founders stories I've read seem to focus on the negative things going on between the Founders, but here there's still an optimism that makes this story refreshing.

The way that the Founders decided on a name and Rowena's suggestion of the moving staircases was my favourite scene of the chapter - seeing the four of them working together and really brainstorming their way through the process felt very right, very canon, just as though JKR had written it herself. I also really liked how it was Helga who discovered the right place to build the castle - yay for Hufflepuff! Her visions of what the castle should look like were lovely to read!

The one thing I thought could have been expanded was the actual construction of the castle. How do wizards build castles? How did they put the various features together, the towers, the dungeons, the staircases? How did they decide on the common rooms for their houses? What aspects of the castle did each of them create? That part of the story went too quickly for me - it seemed as though the castle was put together too easily, and hearing more of the exact details would have only further enhanced the creativity of this story. It was great how you emphasized the teamwork involved in constructing the castle, and perhaps that was your chosen focus for this chapter. However, I think that adding more about what occurred during construction would have increased the action in this chapter. There were opportunities here to foreshadow Slytherin's creation of the Chamber of Secrets or even the later fracturing of the founders, and I would have been fantastic to see you include that kind of thing in some way.

Hopefully this review is helpful to you! It was great to finally be able to check out some of your writing, and I hope to have more opportunities to do so in the future. I've enjoyed reading this story so far - it's very well-written, with excellent characterizations of the founders. :D

Author's Response: Violet! ♥ Eek, I kind of turned into a melty puddle when I saw you had reviewed this, because I really admire your writing!

I'm so glad you have enjoyed the story thus far and like the historical setting and atmosphere - it's wonderful to hear that it seems properly medieval enough. I'm glad the beginning chapters feel optimistic; that's exactly what I was going for in the early stages of Hogwarts.

I loved writing that part actually, when they all work together to brainstorm. I think, in the beginning especially, there was a lot of teamwork in order to make things happen. Just like JKR wrote it herself? Seriously, best compliment ever, thank you!!

Originally I didn't expand much on the construction because I didn't think people would be as interested to read that, but you're the second person to comment that the construction was interesting. So, I will definitely be going back to add stuff in that section! Thanks a lot for the suggestions and I will keep that in mind.

Thanks so much for this absolutely lovely review! ♥


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Review #28, by likeness_of_a_seabird Chapter VI

18th December 2013:
I'm back to review the last two chapters!

Well, first of all... the hat. *The hat*. God, I loved that hat. I could have read forever about it, insulting the founders (and everyone else). Someone needs to write a story about the Sorting Hat. The bit with the hat was the perfect length, as well; not too short, which means the reader had time to get to know the hat, but it wasn't too long either, which could have bored the reader.

About the dormitories: I can't remember for the life of me if there were some mention of the dormitories magically expanding in the books, but if there wasn't, I think it's a very clever idea.

I'm slowly warming up to Salazar, although I still think he could have been pushier about not admitting Muggle-borns; but that's just my opinion. I'm getting this feeling that although he is acting nice now, things are going to change radically very soon.

I liked the way you handled the founders' children. You kept Helena beautifully in character having her voice her dislike of being known only as Rowena Ravenclaw's daughter and I feel that you gave the other children very defined characters even though we saw very little of them.

I liked the last chapter. Although not much happened, I feel as though it's only the calm before the storm. Something big is about to come and it's coming soon.

Keep up the good work; I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so glad you like the hat! I honestly have no idea how it ended up being so sassy, but I think if I were a hat that had to deal with four personalities I might be a little irritated as well! :p

I don't remember the dormitories magically expanding in the books. (I suppose maybe they did - and if so I'd forgotten as well, but I don't think they did!) Anyway, thank you!!

Good prediction about Salazar ;) As we know, Hogwarts did well for a number of years with all four of them, so I figured there couldn't have been super intense arguments that early on. But yeah... it is approaching the end so you know something big is coming up.

Ah thank you! I'm so glad you think Helena is in character and that you liked the other children's personalities as well. I know they have a pretty limited role so it's really wonderful to hear that you think they had such defined characters. :)

I've been a little stuck in writing this one recently but I'm hoping to get the next chapter written over the next week! Thank you so much for your lovely review!!


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Review #29, by likeness_of_a_seabird Chapter IV

17th December 2013:
Reviewing first four chapters here at the same time because I'm too lazy to type :)

I really like this. All four founders have very defined personalities and they have their unique voices which really come across to the reader.

The story is a bit slow-paced but not everything needs to be action-packed adventures. I think the slow pace suits this type of story. Telling each chapter from the viewpoint of a different founder works; this way, the reader becomes familiar with all of them and gets inside their heads better.

I like that you've made their backgrounds different. I can totally see Ravenclaw being a high-born lady while Hufflepuff comes from more modest origins. The origins of Gryffindor and Slytherin are not so clearly defined but it doesn't bother me in the least. The mention to their origins could have been added to the story, but leaving it out does not make the reader lose anything important.

The only thing I'm having a bit of trouble is Slytherin. Unfortunately, I find his character, at least in these early chapters, a bit unbelievable, particularly concerning his relationship with Maeve. While it is certainly possible that he could fall in love with a Muggle, the ending of their relationship seemed a bit abrupt. I would have personally liked to see some hints of her mistrust towards magic and magic users growing and how she has been told it is supposedly connected to devil, even if Slytherin himself would not be able to see those hints. You could have perhaps expanded that conversation Maeve had with Slytherin about how she would be surrounded by magic and be unable to use it herself.

However, all in all I'm really enjoying this story. I love history and historical fiction and although it might not be completely historically accurate, I'm willing to turn a blind eye on them, since they do not disrupt the flow of the story. Keep on the good work!

Author's Response: Hi there! Ahh what a lovely surprise! Thank you, I'm really glad the personalities of the characters are so effective and unique and that the POV works, that is wonderful to hear :) You're right, I wanted to get inside each of their heads and show the events as each of them sees it.

Slytherin's origins are mentioned briefly in that he has prior, unpleasant history with Muggles, but year otherwise he and Gryffindor aren't really explained. I may put that in a later chapter, thanks for the suggestion :)

Slytherin's split with Maeve was supposed to seem abrupt. Because it's from his point of view and it's something he never saw coming, their relationship was meant to seem too perfect, how it was through the eyes of someone blinded by love. At least that's what I was going for. As for the magic connection to the devil, in those days magic/witchcraft were frowned upon and considered untrustworthy, and people were very religious back then (though this was before the days of witch burnings - that was a couple hundred years later) And now, at the risk of sounding like Professor Binns, I will move on! :p The next chapter is from Slytherin's POV which will get into his mind a lot more.

Thank you SO much for this wonderful review, and I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story!! ♥


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Review #30, by maraudertimes Chapter II

27th November 2013:
Hello!

This chapter was a little sadder than the last, especially the part about the children, but I found Godric's voice endearing. He really does believe in equality for all.

I'm excited to see how this school plan goes (I already know the ending, but the process will be cool to read about), and I'm definitely anticipating how they named it (Hogwarts? Really?). Also, I assume this might be when Salazar decides to take up his old pureblood habits, so I think it'll be interesting to see how you manage to work with that.

One more thing: I really loved how Godric's wife rushed in to battle. At that age I'm guessing women weren't typically warriors, but since she's a witch I assume many men thought highly of her (until the incident, of course). It was really cool to see a woman in that sort of position, so kudos to you!

Overall, I really liked this chapter and I'm anticipating the others! One more chapter and I might be hooked! :)

Great job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hi there! Aw, I'm really glad you liked Godric's voice in this. Yeah it is pretty sad, but I think there needed to be a motivation to start a school in the first place because formal schools weren't really a thing in the tenth century, haha.

Much of the next chapter covers that, actually (the planning, and how they named the school. Ha I know right? Hogwarts is the most bizarre name. Wizards are strange people.)

Thanks, I'm glad you liked Laudine! I'm sure it wasn't typical, but hey, it could have happened, especially with witches! Someone had to challenge gender stereotypes even in the 900's :p

Thanks so much for reading, and for your wonderful review! I'm so glad you are enjoying the story so far!! ♥


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Review #31, by Bellatrixlestrange123 Chapter I

27th November 2013:
Hi there! I'm here for our review swap :)

I think you did an amazing job at characterizing Rowena. Even though she is, I'll admit, a canon character. Her personality is still something that was yet to be set in stone so just like I said in my review for 'on air', you had the full rights to turn Rowena into a person entirely of your liking. Of course her character had to embody the traits of Ravenclaw house to some extent but even then, you did an absolutely unbeatable job, well done!

Now, I'm not an historian so even if they were a few errors here and there, I didn't notice them at all and even if they were then you don't need to worry about them because I doubt they would make this story any less of the lovely piece of writing that it is. Your paragraphs and imagery flowed smoothly and your writing was very plain sailing and lovely to read.

What's more is that I am very jealous of how effortless your dialogue came across to the reader and trust me, I find dialogue so so so hard to write (ugh). So, I am in awe of the fact that you could pull it off so well.

I will definitely be reading more of this, keep up the good work!

Bella x

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much, I'm so glad you like my charactersation of Rowena! My goal in that was to bring out the traits of Ravenclaw house in her character, and you're absolutely right in that there's still a lot of leeway in fully developing a character who doesn't actually appear in the books.

Thank you for the lovely compliments about my writing style and imagery! ♡ And I'm glad there are no noticeable historical errors, haha.

I'm glad the dialogue worked too. I understand your difficulties with writing dialogue! To be honest I've always wondered if the dialogue in this story sounded too modern, so thanks - that is so great to hear that it seems effortless.

Thanks so much for reading, and for your review!


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Review #32, by maraudertimes Chapter I

20th November 2013:
Hey! Totally sorry about the late reply, I only just got my wireless back...

I really liked this. It was very interesting and, seeing as I haven't read many founders fics, I found it very fresh and original. I found Rowena to be endearing in her semi-obsession over Salazar, although the characterization of Salazar is definitely something new. While I do believe he might be able to keep from saying muggle slurs around his friends, I'm not too sure if he could ever, shall we say, 'forgive' muggles. He did grow up in an purist family, did he not? But I'm guessing something happens with Maeve, so I won't go on and say he's OOC just yet. ;)

Also, the way Rowena is not at all impressed with her suitors is quite funny, especially the fiasco with Lord Redwald. Does that man like to talk about himself. And Rowena is right. I don't see what's so impressive about casting an invisibility charm.

I really liked how you focused on the friendships of these characters as well, and it's cool to see them interact before Hogwarts. This seems like a very interesting story and I'm excited to see where the plot is headed.

Great job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you :) I'm so glad you found it original, and that you liked Rowena and the friendships between the characters!

That's a good point you made about Salazar. This chapter is from Rowena's point of view, so it's only how she sees him. But I personally think that Salazar wasn't always full of hatred towards Muggles - at least in the beginning, otherwise he would never have been such good friends with Godric.

Thanks so much for reading and for your lovely review, I appreciate it!


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Review #33, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne Chapter I

11th November 2013:
Hello! I've been on a mission to get all of my reviews done, so I thought I may as well review yours while I was at it.

First of all, I really enjoyed this chapter. While the speech might be a bit modern for the time frame, I'm not an expert on tenth century England either, so I don't have any critique for you there ;P

Rowena's characterization was really good! I like how you made her young, so you can see that while she is wise and intelligent, she hasn't quite reached the maturity of thought that she was known for in her later years.

I love how you've portrayed the founders. Many people focus on Slytherin's betrayal and forget that before they split, they were friends. It's lovely ow you've shown their friendship and their reliance on each other.

I also really liked that hints about war and unrest. It was a really good way to introduce the setting and conflict in this conversation between friends.

I can't wait to see how Slytherin's character grows and changes into the man known at Hogwarts. Does it have something to do with this muggle girl he's so infatuated with? Hmmm.

Spelling and grammar were impeccable as far as I could see, so that's wonderful!

To answer your question, yes, the first chapter does make me want to keep reading.

I really enjoyed the descriptions in the first paragraph: they really caught my attention with the vividness of the scene you pictured there, so well done.

Excellent first chapter!

~Gilly

Author's Response: Hi Gilly! Aw, thank you! I was sure I had accidentally posted when you had the review queue closed, so I appreciate that you did this anyway, that was really sweet of you.

I was worried about the dialogue. Since I wasn't there in the 10th century to hear how they actually spoke back then (big surprise, right?) I wasn't sure if it would be too awkward sounding. But if you didn't think it took away from the story, that's good.

It's wonderful to hear that you like my portrayal of the founders and their long standing friendship. What a great point you made about Rowena too, being very intelligent but a little immature - I'm really glad you liked her.

Much of the war and unrest is actually historical, there were a lot of wars going on at the time against Vikings - so I just extended it into the wizarding world as well! I'm glad you liked that setting.

I really appreciate your comments on my description - that was one of the things I worked on the most in that chapter so I'm glad it set the scene well.

This was a lovely review, thank you so much!


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Review #34, by Nasim6413 Chapter VI

1st November 2013:
Yay another chapter! :D I totally enjoyed it, even if there wasn't many interesting events happening. At least we got the idea of what was going on at Hogwarts.

Please update soon!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much! Yeah, that chapter was kind of filler, but I kind of like showing the average day once they'd got all the issues mainly worked out. It's a stepping stone to the next chapter which will have important stuff happening. I'll be writing the next chapter soon, so hopefully it will be up pretty quickly! Thanks again :)

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Review #35, by APerkins Chapter II

23rd October 2013:
Awww ... Be warned, I'm on my phone again. .. puter issues. But I'll try n re read before I send!
What a nice lovely solution to the problem.
I'm still not a fan of Rowenas. Her solution is to fix the educating of kids. . But that will ... as godric said it doesn't solve the main problem. Presumably that's where the statute of secrecy will come in later.

I feel like we have missed a little bit. Rowena asked if godric teaching them had helped. .
But we don't know what it helped? I mean muffle can now produce a caterpillar but it has not helped the issue of anti wizard sentiment anywhere.

Still I can see how it's a terrier and the seed of an idea to start a school.
:) I feel like this story we have got straight into and the plot line takes off right from the beginning.
You know me, the more conflict the better. And it doesn't get any more complex than muggles hating wizards.
Yay!
As always your strongest point is your dialogue. And in this story you've woven in description so naturally it just flows. Action, description, dialogue, you are writing really well! Love it! :)

Author's Response: Well, you might not like Rowena, but without her, Hogwarts may not have existed at all! :p

She was asking if it helped the children feel less guilty about doing magic and having magical abilities. Maybe I didn't make that clear enough in the chapter, I'll go back and have a look at that.

yeah, this story does start out better with conflict/action from the beginning. I started this after I finished writing TBAH, so I'd figured out how to actually plan out a plot by that point, lol.

I'm so glad you like the dialogue! Sometimes I worry it's not archaic enough so it's really great to hear that it's strong. Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #36, by APerkins Chapter I

21st October 2013:
Oh this is great! I love the way you have set this up! I really really hope there are no glaring historical errors. History comes to life in fiction and a well researched story is so educational! I blush to confess I feel like I'm in familiar territory in some eras purely because others have written it so well in the books I read. This is great. I actually think it's even better than your brave at heart which. . as you know. .. im s big fan of!

I read this and was so glad helga was married she should be- one of the spring hats sings made me just assume she was, rosy Apple cheeks, baking pastry, smiling a lot. .
AnyWay.

Interesting thought on the Broom creation! I had assumed they'd been around forever :)

I have to admit I already have favourite characters. Rowena.. Well don't tell et, but she isn't one of them! Lol I dint think she and I would be friends in real life.

Now salazar on the other hand. . Laughing, friendly, determined. I love how he has come across!
Of course helga too, but also redwald! I thunk id hate him in r l but I love how u depicted him and will love hating him :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Wow, thanks! I am so glad you're enjoying this. I hope there are no historical errors either, haha! I did do a fair bit of research on medieval England and Scotland when I was planning out the story, so I hope there's nothing off about it that I missed. But yes, I love reading history in fiction too, so I know what you mean.

People tended to get married very early at that time so I figured it only made sense if two of the founders were already married. I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Salazar so much! I really think that in the beginning at least, he was a good guy. He had to be, in order to be friends with Gryffindor, which we know from canon. I'm glad you liked Helga as well! Haha, Lord Redwald doesn't show up much after this, as the POV rotates in later chapters, but I'm glad you love to hate him :D

Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed the bit about brooms too! According to the Quidditch Through the Ages book, there was a lot of broom developments around that time so the flying broomstick makes a few appearances throughout the story :p

Thank you so much for this review! It really made my day. I think I say that to you all the time, but it's true every time! ♥


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Review #37, by rozen_maiden Chapter I

20th October 2013:
Review tag!
I've never read a founders story before, so I was pretty excited to read this - and I wasn't disappointed either! I love Rowena. I can already tell that she is a strong, beautiful and (of course) wise woman. I think you've really set her up to be something beyond what she sees herself just in this first chapter - the fact that she does not care for suitors, and has her eyes on one man really opened up her story. It's almost sad, actually. I do like that her mother, though persistent, respects her wishes though.

And Helga is just very sweet! Quiet like how I pictured her :)

Founders era and time-pieces are hard to write, but i think you have an excellent opening here and a great start to this story. I should probably get back to my assignments, but once i have some spare time, I'll definitely come back to finish this story!
Mahalia

Author's Response: Hi! Well thank you, I'm honoured to be your introduction to Founders stories, haha. And I'm so glad you liked it - it's wonderful to hear that you liked the portrayal of Rowena and her story so far. I appreciate your comment about her mother, too - I intended her to be a lot like Rowena in that way - she thinks she is right, but knows when to stop arguing! :)

Thank you so much, I'm really glad you like the opening to the story and that you're hoping to continue reading. Best of luck with your assignments and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! ♥


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Review #38, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter VI

19th October 2013:
I have to say, beginning the enrollment at nine is spot on for the time. It seems as though many age-related stipulations were much lower many years ago than they are present day.

Ah, lovely, the founder's children!

I know I should trust the narrator, but I sense a serious plot twist brewing! Something is going to happen with Salazar, isn't it? The anticipation is killing me!

Right, now that that has been said...

I love that Edith and Rhys are troublemakers! Every good story needs one or two mischievous members to stir up the pot a bit! This chapter is a perfect introduction to these character!

Creaothceann is a genius idea, by the way. I'm guessing it may just be the very crude and primitive beginnings of Quiddich?

I can't believe I have to wait to read more! I suppose I'm selfish like that :). At any rate, I will be waiting!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Oh, good! That's wonderful to hear that it seems to fit with the time.

That's the thing with four narrators... they don't all agree, or see the same things ;) You'll get Salazar's POV again in the next chapter, though!

Haha, I'm glad you like Edith and Rhys! All the kids are troublemakers really - I think with a bunch of young kids whose parents are the founders of the school, they'd think they can get away with a lot!

Creaothceann is pretty ridiculous, right? I didn't actually come up with that myself - it's mentioned in JKR's book Quidditch Through the Ages! (So yes, I think it's one of the precursors to Quidditch)

Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews! To be honest, I hadn't thought about this story for a while (these chapters had been written for months) but I've reached the end of my finished chapters so now I'm inspired again, and I'm going to start working on the new chapter ASAP! :)


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Review #39, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter V

19th October 2013:
That's right, Godric Gryffindor's wife battles vikings! I love that particular dynamic, by the way. I quite enjoyed the scene where they were testing the sorting hat and Lucinda was sorted into Slytherin. This, of course, had to be closely followed up by Godric's quick bout with that hat. It was all too funny.

You are going to break my heart with poor Salazar, you do know that? I can feel it coming! I am glad that you gave him somebody to love, although I have the feeling it wont do anything to stopper the war inside him, will it? His quiet remarks are going to lead to nothing good, but it seems that Rowena is of great help in keeping him at bay, for now.

Speaking of, I do hope Rowena will find happiness. I suppose not all stories can have happy ending though, can they? I'm such a hopeless romantic.

Well, there's no time to dwell. There is more to be read!!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Of course she does :D You know that Godric Gryffindor's wife could be nothing less than awesome. I'm really glad you like that dynamic! Haha, the sorting hat scene was not originally planned - I was trying to not write really goofy scenes in this story but that one just wrote itself and I left it in. I'm glad it didn't seem too out of place!

You are very perceptive ;) And that's all I'm going to say on that topic. More to come in the following chapters!

As for happy endings... well, we all know where the Founders' story ends up. :-/ I guess this story is more about the journey than the destination, since the destination is already known (if that makes sense!) Nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though :)


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Review #40, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter IV

19th October 2013:
Awe! Even a little love story woven in! An author after my own heart, truly. I loved Salazar and Maeve at the beginning, especially since she was a muggle. I knew it held that beautifully tragic potential. So when the hammer fell, I was (almost) expecting it. The blow came in pretty hard though. Oh, poor Salazar! He's so misunderstood with his speaking to snakes and such. And that *taking a deep breath* bad person went and got married! She's ruined him! I must get off this topic before I become too excited and start ranting :). But thank you for creating a character whom I will eternally hate! Salazar should feed her to his basilisk...

Right, moving on.

Have I mentioned before how much I love that you are showing the development of the Hogwarts schooling structure. I I have, I hope that there is no harm in reiterating. Which bring me to the birth of Defense Against the Dark Arts, brilliant Salazar! I enjoyed that you used his character in the idea of its creation with his well-rounded argument of "Knowing the Dark Arts helps with Defense against it." Silly other founders with their disagreeing and whatnot!

Right then...off to the next chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi again! ♥ I'm glad you like the little side plot of Salazar and Maeve. "Beautifully tragic potential" - that's a great way to phrase it, I like that! Poor Salazar indeed. Slytherin never struck me as the type to forgive easily (or at all, I suppose) so yeah, Maeve didn't leave him in a good place. :( Haha, feel free to eternally hate her!

Thank you so much - I'm really glad you are enjoying the journey of the development of Hogwarts. I figured it had to have changed a bit over 1000 years, so it functioned a bit less smoothly then, haha. And yes, I think Salazar would have had sound reasons for teaching the Dark Arts - his friendship with Godric would make no sense if he were super into Dark magic just for the fun of it!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! You are the best! ♡


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Review #41, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter III

18th October 2013:
Okay, so I couldn't help myself. I had to read just one more chapter tonight.

Helga's right, that name would have been much too long! This was an interesting little segment on how they came up with the name of the school and how they decided to set it up.

I never thought I would read about the construction of Hogwarts! I may a bit too enthralled because I ended up having to read it twice :). Ah this was so much fun! The beginning of everything! Even the first students arriving (one on a dragon to boot) and the first attempt at proper sorting...the first classes!! I am very sorry, I become excited far too easily.

...and then I read your author's note at the bottom about the chapter not being exciting and laughed at myself like the fool I am :)!

I think this era is gaining much more interest with me now than it ever has. I am so glad I began reading this! Unfortunately, I have to pause for the time being or else I am going to be late for work!

I can't wait to read more!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: You are too sweet! Hehe, I'm glad you're so excited about reading it though! :D

I'm really glad you liked the construction segment! It's funny that you mentioned that - I didn't know if anyone would find the paragraphs about stonework interesting, so thank you! I'm so happy to hear you thought it was fun, what with the dragon and everything haha... I've never built a castle in two years and then tried to teach classes in it, but if I did, I imagine it wouldn't go according to plan or work smoothly at first. :p

I'm thrilled you're finding the Founders era interesting as well! Your reviews have been so much fun to read so far - thank you! Hope you made it to work on time ;)


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Review #42, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter II

18th October 2013:
You are pegging the founders phenomenally. Rowen always being right and Godric not being able to help himself by standing up for those he cares about of course are probably key value characteristics of the two, given the Houses that they will eventually establish.

I am very happy to see that you are developing these characters somewhat indirectly through interactions and actions. It makes for a much more interesting story. This obviously is the perfect set up for me to tell you that this is so beautifully written! If I were to be browsing a bookshop and ended up flipping through this as a book (given that I would have no idea about the Harry Potter series else it would have been snatched sans peaking) I would probably end up buying it. Your particular writing style appeals to me so much, I am pretty sure it's my favorite of all fan fiction writers so far (DON'T TELL THEM I SAID THAT!!).

I just want to add that the part where Godric was teaching the children about magic was so sweet! I think that he may have stolen my heart a little bit!

I am excited to read the next chapter very soon!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Eee! This might be my favourite review I've ever gotten, it totally made my day - although your praise of my writing is going to inflate my head so much that I might float away into space! :p

I'm so glad you like my portrayal of the founders and that you think their personalities match their houses well. And yes, I think characters' actions speak louder than my words about them (if that makes sense, haha) so it's great to hear that you like the way I've developed the characters indirectly.

I really enjoyed writing that scene :) Glad you liked it!

Thank you for reading, and for such a wonderful review! ♥♥♥


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Review #43, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter I

17th October 2013:
Review tagging :)

Your style of writing reminds me of Jane Austen's specifically in her novel "Pride and Prejudice." It has its own unique twist of course and I quite like it. It definitely has the air of classical writing.

This is the first Founder's story that I have read, honestly. It is interesting to see your take on what happened.

The social structure surrounding the time is fascinating! It's so much fun. I love how Rowena's class rank does not stop her sense of adventure as she escapes the party with Salazar. The interactions between the characters are lovely as well. I especially enjoy Salazar and Godric's relationship.

I am very excited to read more, this is so intriguing!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much :) Ooh. I've never been compared to Jane Austen before, I'm honoured! (I love Pride and Prejudice!) I'm really glad you think it has an air of classical writing - one of the hardest things for me is to make it sound old enough and not too modern, so that's really wonderful to hear.

I'm so glad you like the characters as well, and the friendships between them. So happy to hear that you liked it, and I hope you enjoy the rest! :)


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Review #44, by Nasim6413 Chapter V

4th October 2013:
This chapter was awesome :D Please, please, please update the story soon because I really want to know what happens next!

The story is epicly amazingly awesomely awesome so far :D !

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad the silliness of the Sorting Hat didn't take away from the chapter, lol. And what a wonderful reminder - I actually have completed the sixth chapter but never got around to posting it! I will get on that straightaway :)

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Review #45, by Nasim6413 Chapter II

4th October 2013:
This is a really good chapter, and just like the first chapter, I found it flawless. I can't find anything that I didn't like.

Good job, and keep it up! :)

Author's Response: Eeep! What a lovely surprise review! ♥ Thank you so much, I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! By the way, welcome to HPFF! ;)

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Review #46, by 1917farmgirl Chapter I

3rd September 2013:
Heheheheh, looks like I ran out of one-shots. :)

I have read exactly two founders fics - this one, and another one I read earlier today, so I can't really say if this is an unusual take on them or not, but it seems that way to me, based on what I've always assumed about the four.

1. I was not expecting Rowena to fancy Salazar. Unless the Grey Lady is the daughter of Ravenclaw and Slytherin, I know that can't work out too well.so that was a surprise. And I liked the way you set up potential to show how Salazar could end up with his blood-purity ways, because right now this boy seems way too nice and kind to think like that.

2. Helga is married! Love it! I wasn't expecting it, but I'm so glad you included it. Too often fics of all genres are full of young adults looking for love and hanging out with their friends - but no one ever remembers that young adults can also be married already and still hang out with those friends.

3. Hope Rowena didn't ruin her dress... It sounded very pretty.

4. Her mother was very understanding of her wanting to marry for love, which surprised me. I expected her to be a bit more pushy. Wonder if she's gonna get in trouble for her ditching the party...

5. Can't wait to see where you take this to make it end up where we know it has to for the canon set up!

Oh, and btw, this review is for review tag. :)

Great fic, once again. At this rate I'm gonna run out of stuff to read.

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm going to run out of stories at the rate you're reading :p

I'm not sure what inspired that part about Rowena liking Salazar. She always seemed to me like the type for unrequited love, though :( And yes, I like to think that the four of them were friends and all nice to each other at the beginning! You'd have to get on well with each other in order to build a school together, or it would never have been built.

Thanks, I'm really glad you liked that! This story was never meant to have much of a romantic aspect as the Founders already have quite a lot of drama without it. Plus I think during those times, people married early and it wouldn't make sense for all of them to be single!

Haha, her dress wasn't ruined :p And yeah, even Rowena's very insistent mother can be understanding sometimes.

Thanks so much for reading, and I'm so happy to hear that you liked it!


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Review #47, by Kira Chapter I

1st September 2013:
This is lovely. I can't say that I've read too many Founders fics, but I've always been fascinated by their story; I've definitely always wanted to know more.

You do a really nice job of capturing mood right off the bat with your descriptions. They have a great balance as well. They aren't overwhelmingly long, but I'm never wondering about what certain things look like. It's a delicate balance, and you really hit it.

I love what you're doing with Salazar here. In the few Founders stories I've seen, he's often already kind of a "bad apple." He already seems like the bad guy. I like your take better. He should be close to them; it will make their falling out more realistic and heartbreaking. Just because he didn't hold with the ideals of the other three, it doesn't mean he was a rotten to the core type person. People are rarely that simple. So, I like that he seems to have a good nature about him; it shows that you're not scared of creating good, believable character development.

You do some great, subtle things to help us know your characters. Helga's cozy home and cooking skills, Rowena's need to think smarter than the people she's forced to be around; it's all really showing where these people came from and echos where their going in the future as far as their houses go. I'm figuring we get to know more about the men in later chapters, well, more about everybody really. And the best thing is, I want to know more.

I said it before, and I'll say it again. Lovely, lovely job.

I'm going to stick this guy on my favorites if that's alright with you! :)

Author's Response: Oh thank you! That is wonderful to hear. I worked a lot at setting the mood and descriptions in this so it's really lovely to hear that you liked them.

I'm thrilled to hear that about Salazar. I try to stick to canon as much as possible, and in canon Salazar and Godric were supposed to be such good friends. So I thought Salazar couldn't really be a "bad guy" from the start - there had to be a basis for such a long standing friendship.

I'm so glad you liked the characterisation, and that you think it matches their future Hogwarts houses. As for getting to know the other characters, the POV rotates among the four founders so you'll get to know the other three as the story goes on. :)

A favourite? :O Well thank you, I'm honoured! I hope you continue to enjoy the story. Thanks so much for your amazing and very thoughtful review! ♥ ♥


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Review #48, by Emma Chapter V

19th August 2013:
It's a very good story and represents every aspect of Hogwarts that is mentioned in the books and films very well. It' very well written and you should be pleased with it. Keep writing more amazing Fan Fictions please!!

Author's Response: Thank you! Your review is very encouraging :) I'm so glad you like the story!

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Review #49, by Erised Chapter I

2nd August 2013:
Hi there!

So, I never get to read enough Founders stories and this was an absolute treat. It's an era that definitely needs expanding on!

I think you did a truly wonderful job with this. Rowena as a a character was well developed and I could instantly bring her to mind with the details you chose to include about her. I think she reflects the Ravenclaw house very well with her wise comments and astute awareness of what's going on around her. I especially loved when she called Lord Rendwald out on his cowardice costing the King's life and bringing more raids - she is a woman who knows what she's talking about and is not to be crossed! I hope she doesn't settle for anything less than the person she loves.

And, on that topic, I loved Rowena's unrequited love for Salazar. It makes her much more relatable as a character and I really felt for her too! I hope Salazar sees her true affections soon and realises his own. It really makes me wonder what's going to happen next with them!

I thought you used description very well in this opening chapter to set the scene. I could instantly imagine the cold and starkness of the Ravenclaw castle in comparison to Helga's comfortable and modest home... perhaps similar to what the Hufflepuff common room is like! The dynamics between the four founders is very good here too and you set up a nice and believable back story for them all. I think I liked Helga the most as she seems the most welcoming and friendly of the four.

I'm a bit of a history geek so I think that's another reason why I adore Founders era - it's all castles and knights and dragons which you wrote very well! You stuck to the 10th century very well throughout this and I didn't once think anyone was too contemporary (except perhaps the exotic spices - where would they get them from?). There was something very Shakespearean about having Rowena climb down the side of the castle and into Salazar's arms!

On the whole I thought this was an excellent first chapter and I cannot help but feel intrigued as to what happens next in the story. I will hopefully find the time to review again soon! Well done! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!! I'm so glad you liked the characterisation of Rowena in this. For some reason, the idea of unrequited love seemed to fit really well with the very little we know of her character, so I just went with it!

I'm glad the rest of the Founders seemed realistic too. And yeah Hufflepuff house is known for being the one that welcomes everyone, so I figured Helga would exemplify that.

I love history too and so I try to keep this as historically accurate as possible - which is difficult for the 10th century! As for the exotic spices... Hadn't thought about that actually, but here's my explanation: their definition of "exotic" is different to what we would call that today, so the spices are just from Rome or something. :P

I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter - Thanks for such a lovely and thoughtful review! ♥


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Review #50, by lilylunapotter26 Chapter I

30th July 2013:
Hello! I'm here for the review swap!

I've actually never read a Founders Era story before! I have to say that I absolutely adore it! It's like opening a whole new chapter of the Wizarding World. I have never really thought about the founders too much before this.

I love the way you've portrayed the characters. Salazar's dislike towards Muggles comes form an event that affected his childhood, so it gives him a good reason. I really like Rowena too! I hope she and Salazar can end up together! Overall I really liked the characters! You brought this people to life. Their background stories add more life to the characters, making them seem like people instead of just history! Brilliant job!

xx Rachel

Author's Response: Thanks! It's so nice to hear that you like the portrayal of the characters - I think that's an important thing in a founders story because as I see it, many of their characteristics are what eventually define their Hogwarts house. Thank you so much for your lovely review! ♥

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