74 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LightLeviosa5443 Chapter I

12th January 2014:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap, you didn't specify a story, and this one caught my eye, so I figured I'd chose it, though if you have a preference I can go back and do another!

Anywho, I've only ever read one chapter of a founders fic, so I'm fairly unknown to this particular era of story. I loved this. I love how you portray the founders, and their friendship. I found Rowena's fancying of Salazar very believable and endearing, even!

I don't think there was a part of the story I didn't love, it was all just so well done. Description of Rowena's tower, to the party, to Helga's house and her lifestyle. The comparison between Rowena and Helga's lifestyles. I think it was all just so wonderful and believable and I certainly wouldn't worry about glaring historical errors. I didn't notice any!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Hi Sarah! :) nope definitely read whichever you want! Ooh, I'm glad you chose this one then if you don't read much Founders! I love the era myself. I'm so glad you liked my portrayal of the Founders and their friendship! Aw, and I'm glad you like Rowena and Salazar too :)

It's great to hear that about the description too, I worked on that a lot in this fic. Hah, good to know there's no noticeable historical problems! Thanks for such a wonderful review and I'm so glad you enjoyed the read!


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Review #27, by maraudertimes Chapter III

11th January 2014:
Hello! Here for the review swap!

In your author's note at the end, I noticed that you apologized that this wasn't particularly exciting. I agree. But don't apologize for that - it was interesting, not exciting! It was really cool to see how the creation of Hogwarts went about and I really liked the small details you added, such as one of the giants accidentally knocking down a tower - not only was it funny, but it was believable.

Overall, this chapter was really well executed! The fact that they are all completely involved in this school is really nice to see, and the sweet side of Slytherin, before his muggle-hating ways begin was really cool to read (again, I'm scared as to how he comes about his harsher demeanor - something traumatic no doubt).

That they were conscious of muggleborns was another touch I was particularly fond of, as they wanted any young witch or wizard to receive training in the magical arts.

I do sense that perhaps they need to figure out the first year, second year, third year, etc. system soon. Fire around young children levitating easily flammable feathers? That could cause a bit of a disaster :P

I'm curious as to how the other Founders are feeling about the school, so I'm hoping to be able to come back to this when I next have the chance.

I really liked this chapter and I'm really happy I did this review swap!

Amazing job!
Lo:)

P.S. The dragon rider in Godric's house made me giggle. Good job with the little details! I'm hoping to see how you integrate the sorting hat into this as well!

Author's Response: Hi there Lo! :)

I'm glad you don't mind that the chapter wasn't that exciting, and rather that you thought it was interesting :p Ah, I am really happy to hear that you liked the details about the building process. Perhaps I underestimated people's desire to read about building construction :P

I'm glad you like Slytherin here! I figured they all had to be involved at the beginning. But yes things are coming for Slytherin... next chapter is from his POV, actually!

Hahah yeah fire and feathers, instant recipe for disaster! I don't think the entire school could have run smoothly at the beginning though, so they have to learn as they go!

Haha, thanks! I love the silly things like that in the books, so I made sure to add that in here. The Sorting Hat comes in I think in the next chapter, or the one following.

I am really glad you enjoyed this chapter, thanks for the swap! ♥


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Review #28, by Lululuna Chapter II

10th January 2014:
Hola! :) I'm here from our swap, but I see you have your new story up so as I owe you some lovely prize reviews, I'm going to come back for that sometime this weekend! :D

The idea of the skirmish was really great as a catalyst to difficult Muggle/wizard relations! It was really creative too how you wove it in with history of Viking invaders, and it felt quite realistic... well, for a magical medieval world. :P The thought of using magic against the Muggles does seem quite unfair the more I think about it, though as a wizard I don't know if I'd be able to resist it. And the description of some of the invaders having goats hooves and one turned to stone did make me giggle. :P

Ah, Godric. He's very noble, but I almost empathize more with Laudine and her instincts. She seems a little Slytherin to me. I thought it was very fitting for Godric not to want to use magic against the invaders and how he thought it was unfair: it must be a very rare thing but really shows how good and fair of a man he is, and how he has chivalry as well.

He seems to live up to everything I imagined Gryffindor would be. It's so interesting to read Founders stories since the portrayals of the Founders display the qualities which generations of wizarding children will identify themselves with, but that fact almost makes it more intriguing when the Founders have human faults of their own.

The scene with the children was really sweet, and how it inspired Godric and Rowena to think of the idea for the school. I loved the image of Godric teaching them to make butterflies and the one child producing a catterpilliar- it was really adorable to think of their excitement. I'm really glad that a Muggleborn wizard was included as well in giving a historical backdrop to the upcoming Muggleborn conflicts.

I like how Godric wonders if the change to the school would be for better or worse, and if it would separate the Muggles from wizards even more and breed more suspicion. It's quite clear in the chapter that wizards get carried away with their powers and this fear and resentment can quickly escalate, so I'm very curious to find out how these problems are confronted and progress in the time period.

A wonderful chapter, I'm really enjoying this! :D

Author's Response: Eep yeah, meant to PM you about that new story and forgot :P

I'm glad you liked the aspect of the Viking raids highlighting the Muggle/wizard dynamics. I think it would have to be something big like that which sparks the idea that wizards should have a school so far away from everyone else. I'm glad it seemed realistic! I think it'd be pretty unfair too, although I imagine that some wizards, if they were losing, just couldn't resist.

Heheh, I am actually glad to hear that Laudine sounds like she'd be a Slytherin. ;) As for Godric, I'm so glad to hear that! I think he's noble to a fault. In my mind at least, the most well known traits of the Founders are those that identify them, as their strengths, but also sometimes their downfall... well, his sense of chivalry isn't really a downfall here I guess, just an inconvenience in the battle :p

Aw, I'm glad you liked that scene! I had a lot of fun writing that - like the very beginning of his teaching career :p

Thanks for the review swap, and I'm so glad that you're enjoying this story! :D


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Review #29, by Lululuna Chapter I

30th December 2013:
Hi Kristin! I'm here for Day 4 of the 12 Days of Reviewing! I've been meaning to review this story for a while but keep missing you in review tag/getting distracted so lucky me that you have less than 10 stories posted. :P

I love how much historical background you've put into the story, and how you've wound it into wizarding life as well. The story about Lord Redwald made me laugh so much, and I loved Rowena's scepticism about him and how he protected his castle. I think you played up well the sort of semi-ridiculous portrayal of wizards and their shortcuts that JKR talks about in canon. I also liked the mentions of the king and the tensions brewing with the Viking invaders which would have been very relevant to the time.

The explanations of how wizards and muggles got along or how some people thought they should be separate was really interesting too. I thought it was curious how while Salazar has come around and is in love with a muggle, he obviously still harbours bitterness against the muggles who drove him out and this sort of underlying hatred could prove to be very interesting in the future.

I absolutely love Helga and how warm and accepting she is, and how she honestly would miss the company of muggles. She seems like such a great character, but not the sort of soft, weak option but a woman whose wisdom is valued and compliments Rowena's instead of being less. That was a wonderful portrayal of her. I also liked how you established the friendship between the two women and the two men, since we know from the sorting hat song that those two pairs were very close.

I really like Rowena already. She seems very spirited and wise, but she also has a sort of innocence and immaturity which I'm interested to see develop over the story. It made me smile when she was sort of bitterly thinking that perhaps she wasn't pretty enough for Salazar and that intelligence and wit weren't what he valued in a woman- sadly, I'm sure that was true for many men of the time, but there's time for him to change his mind!

This was a brilliant first chapter, I loved how you wrote the Founders and explored the era. Looking forward to reading more soon! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! Haha, lucky me that I keep being so slow to write that I haven't yet posted other stories, it was such a lovely surprise to see reviews on this for the 12 days of reviewing!

I love history, and did quite a bit of research on the time period when I began writing this, so I'm really happy to hear that you liked the historical background and references to the Vikings, the king, etc. I'm glad you liked Lord Redwald's story too! You're right, there do seem to be a lot of semi-ridiculous wizards in the books taking odd shortcuts - he definitely fits the bill.

Salazar, I have always thought, is a complicated character who couldn't always have been just a straightforward Muggle hater. There is bitterness for sure, but at least for now it isn't too strong. I'm glad you liked the description of wizard/Muggle relations at the time too.

Ah, thank you! I really wanted to show Helga in a good light because Hufflepuff often gets overlooked, but I think she had to have been pretty awesome in order to be a Founder of Hogwarts! I'm so glad you liked the way I wrote their friendship, too - that means a lot!

I'm thrilled you like Rowena too. Even though she's so clever and sensible, she does have a shallow side sometimes too :P The story is told in alternating viewpoints from all four Founders, so the next time it comes around to Rowena's POV again she has definitely changed a bit.

Thank you for a wonderful review! ♥ ♥


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Review #30, by BookDinosaur Chapter I

30th December 2013:
HI KRISTIN!

I'm here for the Fourth Day of the Twelve Days of Reviewing. :) And also because I've read this chapter and this review is overdue.

I loved reading this chapter, you did an amazing job with it! Every story needs a good first chapter to suck the readers in, and I think this fit the bill perfectly. I really enjoyed reading about tenth century England and since I'm not a historian I didn't spot any historical errors. I like your take on the marriage process, the only thing I noticed was that I thought the marrage customs would have been stricter and her mother would be forcing Roawena to marry someone. But maybe it's because they're magical, I'm not sure.

I really enjoyed reading about Rowena, I think you characterised her really well here. Since we know almost nothing about the Founders excpet they were exceptional magical people and they each had base characteristics, so you could make Rowena pretty much anything. I think you did a great job showing how clever she was and how she enjoyed academic things more than others, but she's young and impressionable as well, and I think her infatuation with Salazar proves that.

Speaking of Saazar, I think it's really interesting that he's interested in a Muggle girl, seeing as he's the one championing blood purity later on. Ooh, maybe some trouble with the girl will turn him against Muggles? How intriguing.

I really like how you've portrayed the Founders as friends and how they connect and trust each other.

The dialogue here was really good - if anything I think tenth century English might have been slightly more formal and clunky, but overall it was really good, formal enough to give off an old-fashioned air, but not too clunky that it ruined the flow, so wel done to you there.

One thing I noticed here was that Rowena could Apparate into her tower, but when Salazar comes to collect her and go to Helga's she says she cannot get down of she'll tear her dress. Maybe she just wanted Salazar to help her down?

Anyway, all in all this was a great chapter Kristin, I really enjoyed it. Great job!

Author's Response: HI EMILY!

Ah yay! I'm so glad you thought this was a good first chapter and that you enjoyed reading about tenth century England. I did do a fair bit of research about the era so I hope it's reasonably accurate, but... unless I get a chance to fly off in a time machine/TARDIS there's no way I'll ever know for sure! haha. I think Rowena isn't the type to be told what to do, so even though her mother does want her to get married to keep with the customs of the time, she knows Rowena won't unless it's her own idea.

I'm so glad you liked my characterisation of Rowena! There is definitely a lot of room for creativity while writing the Founders, because all we have on them is the opinions of the Sorting Hat, Professor Binns, and the Grey Lady. And yes, even the most intelligent, academic people can have silly crushes. Just look at Hermione in CoS! :p

I'm glad you think the situation with Salazar is intriguing! Yeah, I don't think he would always have been a Muggle hater, otherwise he wouldn't have been such good friends with Godric, which we know he was.

I've always been iffy on the dialogue. Honestly tenth century English was like this weird Germanic/Anglo-Saxon hybrid that probably didn't sound anything at all like the English we know; I don't know how formal it was. But you can't really write a Founders fic with colloquial dialogue because it would sound kind of silly, and a little too much like the movie "A Knight's Tale" hahaha. Anyway, I'm rambling... I'm glad the balance was good and that you liked the dialogue overall!

That last bit.. maybe Apparating isn't seen as something a proper lady should do in company - it doesn't sound very graceful. But I think Rowena just wanted Salazar to help her down. She's smart enough to Apparate, but also smart enough to be manipulative if she needs to :p

Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful review!


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Review #31, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter IV

26th December 2013:
There's a lot to this chapter, and while reading I found myself wishing that you'd included Slytherin's chapter sooner because there's just so much here to deal with. His backstory is probably the most complicated of the four founders, certainly the most conflicted. I was fascinated by the relationship between him and Maeve even while I was anticipating its inevitably sad end. The idea that Slytherin was engaged to a Muggle and had struggled to gain her love is wonderfully creative and adds a new facet to Slytherin's characterization - he's not just a straightforward pureblooded Muggle-hater. There has to be something more to it like this that precipitates his breaking from the other Founders, too. You've found a way of filling in that gap in wizarding history, and it's very effective.

It had to be something abrupt like this that brought on its end, and the fact that it was over a green snake was absolutely perfect. That was really well done! However, I wish that the chapter as a whole, detailing their relationship as it did, had been drawn out more. Time passed so quickly that it's difficult to properly understand Maeve's character and Slytherin's motivations. You give an idea that Maeve doesn't comprehend how magic works and where it comes from, but it still seems strange that Slytherin talking to the snake disturbs her to such a degree - was her love just that fragile and shallow, despite her claims earlier in the chapter that she now trusted and loved him? Is it because his ability to speak to snakes makes them not the same (as she also claimed at an earlier point)? Why does she turn on him in that way, so completely? I can't blame Slytherin for overreacting like he did, not if Maeve's love proved so fickle.

This chapter contains strong scenes like the one with the snake and the one between the Founders as they discussed the school's progress and further development. You write the four of them together so well, and it's great to see how these aspects of Hogwarts developed slowly through trial and error. You take into account things that most authors would forget, yet the way that classes are taught and the organization of those classes is hugely important. I love seeing those kind of practical considerations - they make the story feel that much more realistic.

The one thing I think could be improved upon with this chapter is that, especially in the first half and at the very end, you include a lot of telling. You cover a considerable amount of material in a single chapter, and it's rather overwhelming. It would help if you divided the scenes more, especially those between Slytherin and Maeve - it's a significant aspect of the narrative, and right now, it feels rushed. The different times they meet blur together too easily, and while there are important markers of the growing tension between Slytherin and Maeve in their dialogue, the narration doesn't do enough to support it. The narration in the scene with the snake did a lot more to enhance the dialogue and bring out the characters' emotions, whereas when Maeve asks to learn magic - a very important scene - the narration isn't as effective. I hope that this critique is helpful to you in some way.

It was great to have the chance to read another chapter of this story! It's fun to follow along with your interpretation of the Founders! :D

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you like the story of Salazar and Maeve, their abrupt ending, and the deeper aspect of Salazar's personality. I agree, it would be nice to have included more about him earlier on, but I think the previous chapters worked best as told by their respective narrators, so Slytherin came fourth, unfortunately. Maybe I will try to include some facet of their relationship as seen by one of the other Founders, in an earlier chapter, when I edit.

I will also make sure to include more about Maeve in this chapter - now that I look back at it, as you mentioned in your last paragraph, she only has a couple of scenes. To be honest, my intention in writing this was a kind of love-blinded Salazar who doesn't really consider everything he should - and for that reason didn't see how shallow Maeve is. I will try to make that clearer, thanks for pointing it out :)

I'm so glad that you liked the slow development of Hogwarts, the trial and error of classes. I was really hoping the practical and relatively uneventful things like that wouldn't bog the story down, so this is really great to hear.

Thanks for your review!


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Review #32, by Violet Gryfindor Chapter III

19th December 2013:
Since the first two chapters already had many reviews, I've skipped to this one to hopefully balance things out - if you'd like me to go back, I can, though I really just skimmed through those chapters to get a sense of your plot and characterizations. Founders stories are rather out of my realm, but I have really enjoyed this one, particularly because of the creative details you've added. Your writing is also very easy to read, and I think you've included enough historical content to properly set the story in the middle ages. There's a different atmosphere to the magical world here - it's far less organized, yet it was refreshing to see how well everyone was getting along, with even giants involved in the construction of Hogwarts. Although there are problems with Muggle-magic relations, there's an overall lightness to this story that also adds to the story. Other Founders stories I've read seem to focus on the negative things going on between the Founders, but here there's still an optimism that makes this story refreshing.

The way that the Founders decided on a name and Rowena's suggestion of the moving staircases was my favourite scene of the chapter - seeing the four of them working together and really brainstorming their way through the process felt very right, very canon, just as though JKR had written it herself. I also really liked how it was Helga who discovered the right place to build the castle - yay for Hufflepuff! Her visions of what the castle should look like were lovely to read!

The one thing I thought could have been expanded was the actual construction of the castle. How do wizards build castles? How did they put the various features together, the towers, the dungeons, the staircases? How did they decide on the common rooms for their houses? What aspects of the castle did each of them create? That part of the story went too quickly for me - it seemed as though the castle was put together too easily, and hearing more of the exact details would have only further enhanced the creativity of this story. It was great how you emphasized the teamwork involved in constructing the castle, and perhaps that was your chosen focus for this chapter. However, I think that adding more about what occurred during construction would have increased the action in this chapter. There were opportunities here to foreshadow Slytherin's creation of the Chamber of Secrets or even the later fracturing of the founders, and I would have been fantastic to see you include that kind of thing in some way.

Hopefully this review is helpful to you! It was great to finally be able to check out some of your writing, and I hope to have more opportunities to do so in the future. I've enjoyed reading this story so far - it's very well-written, with excellent characterizations of the founders. :D

Author's Response: Violet! ♥ Eek, I kind of turned into a melty puddle when I saw you had reviewed this, because I really admire your writing!

I'm so glad you have enjoyed the story thus far and like the historical setting and atmosphere - it's wonderful to hear that it seems properly medieval enough. I'm glad the beginning chapters feel optimistic; that's exactly what I was going for in the early stages of Hogwarts.

I loved writing that part actually, when they all work together to brainstorm. I think, in the beginning especially, there was a lot of teamwork in order to make things happen. Just like JKR wrote it herself? Seriously, best compliment ever, thank you!!

Originally I didn't expand much on the construction because I didn't think people would be as interested to read that, but you're the second person to comment that the construction was interesting. So, I will definitely be going back to add stuff in that section! Thanks a lot for the suggestions and I will keep that in mind.

Thanks so much for this absolutely lovely review! ♥


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Review #33, by likeness_of_a_seabird Chapter VI

18th December 2013:
I'm back to review the last two chapters!

Well, first of all... the hat. *The hat*. God, I loved that hat. I could have read forever about it, insulting the founders (and everyone else). Someone needs to write a story about the Sorting Hat. The bit with the hat was the perfect length, as well; not too short, which means the reader had time to get to know the hat, but it wasn't too long either, which could have bored the reader.

About the dormitories: I can't remember for the life of me if there were some mention of the dormitories magically expanding in the books, but if there wasn't, I think it's a very clever idea.

I'm slowly warming up to Salazar, although I still think he could have been pushier about not admitting Muggle-borns; but that's just my opinion. I'm getting this feeling that although he is acting nice now, things are going to change radically very soon.

I liked the way you handled the founders' children. You kept Helena beautifully in character having her voice her dislike of being known only as Rowena Ravenclaw's daughter and I feel that you gave the other children very defined characters even though we saw very little of them.

I liked the last chapter. Although not much happened, I feel as though it's only the calm before the storm. Something big is about to come and it's coming soon.

Keep up the good work; I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Haha, I'm so glad you like the hat! I honestly have no idea how it ended up being so sassy, but I think if I were a hat that had to deal with four personalities I might be a little irritated as well! :p

I don't remember the dormitories magically expanding in the books. (I suppose maybe they did - and if so I'd forgotten as well, but I don't think they did!) Anyway, thank you!!

Good prediction about Salazar ;) As we know, Hogwarts did well for a number of years with all four of them, so I figured there couldn't have been super intense arguments that early on. But yeah... it is approaching the end so you know something big is coming up.

Ah thank you! I'm so glad you think Helena is in character and that you liked the other children's personalities as well. I know they have a pretty limited role so it's really wonderful to hear that you think they had such defined characters. :)

I've been a little stuck in writing this one recently but I'm hoping to get the next chapter written over the next week! Thank you so much for your lovely review!!


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Review #34, by likeness_of_a_seabird Chapter IV

17th December 2013:
Reviewing first four chapters here at the same time because I'm too lazy to type :)

I really like this. All four founders have very defined personalities and they have their unique voices which really come across to the reader.

The story is a bit slow-paced but not everything needs to be action-packed adventures. I think the slow pace suits this type of story. Telling each chapter from the viewpoint of a different founder works; this way, the reader becomes familiar with all of them and gets inside their heads better.

I like that you've made their backgrounds different. I can totally see Ravenclaw being a high-born lady while Hufflepuff comes from more modest origins. The origins of Gryffindor and Slytherin are not so clearly defined but it doesn't bother me in the least. The mention to their origins could have been added to the story, but leaving it out does not make the reader lose anything important.

The only thing I'm having a bit of trouble is Slytherin. Unfortunately, I find his character, at least in these early chapters, a bit unbelievable, particularly concerning his relationship with Maeve. While it is certainly possible that he could fall in love with a Muggle, the ending of their relationship seemed a bit abrupt. I would have personally liked to see some hints of her mistrust towards magic and magic users growing and how she has been told it is supposedly connected to devil, even if Slytherin himself would not be able to see those hints. You could have perhaps expanded that conversation Maeve had with Slytherin about how she would be surrounded by magic and be unable to use it herself.

However, all in all I'm really enjoying this story. I love history and historical fiction and although it might not be completely historically accurate, I'm willing to turn a blind eye on them, since they do not disrupt the flow of the story. Keep on the good work!

Author's Response: Hi there! Ahh what a lovely surprise! Thank you, I'm really glad the personalities of the characters are so effective and unique and that the POV works, that is wonderful to hear :) You're right, I wanted to get inside each of their heads and show the events as each of them sees it.

Slytherin's origins are mentioned briefly in that he has prior, unpleasant history with Muggles, but year otherwise he and Gryffindor aren't really explained. I may put that in a later chapter, thanks for the suggestion :)

Slytherin's split with Maeve was supposed to seem abrupt. Because it's from his point of view and it's something he never saw coming, their relationship was meant to seem too perfect, how it was through the eyes of someone blinded by love. At least that's what I was going for. As for the magic connection to the devil, in those days magic/witchcraft were frowned upon and considered untrustworthy, and people were very religious back then (though this was before the days of witch burnings - that was a couple hundred years later) And now, at the risk of sounding like Professor Binns, I will move on! :p The next chapter is from Slytherin's POV which will get into his mind a lot more.

Thank you SO much for this wonderful review, and I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story!! ♥


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Review #35, by maraudertimes Chapter II

27th November 2013:
Hello!

This chapter was a little sadder than the last, especially the part about the children, but I found Godric's voice endearing. He really does believe in equality for all.

I'm excited to see how this school plan goes (I already know the ending, but the process will be cool to read about), and I'm definitely anticipating how they named it (Hogwarts? Really?). Also, I assume this might be when Salazar decides to take up his old pureblood habits, so I think it'll be interesting to see how you manage to work with that.

One more thing: I really loved how Godric's wife rushed in to battle. At that age I'm guessing women weren't typically warriors, but since she's a witch I assume many men thought highly of her (until the incident, of course). It was really cool to see a woman in that sort of position, so kudos to you!

Overall, I really liked this chapter and I'm anticipating the others! One more chapter and I might be hooked! :)

Great job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hi there! Aw, I'm really glad you liked Godric's voice in this. Yeah it is pretty sad, but I think there needed to be a motivation to start a school in the first place because formal schools weren't really a thing in the tenth century, haha.

Much of the next chapter covers that, actually (the planning, and how they named the school. Ha I know right? Hogwarts is the most bizarre name. Wizards are strange people.)

Thanks, I'm glad you liked Laudine! I'm sure it wasn't typical, but hey, it could have happened, especially with witches! Someone had to challenge gender stereotypes even in the 900's :p

Thanks so much for reading, and for your wonderful review! I'm so glad you are enjoying the story so far!! ♥


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Review #36, by Bellatrixlestrange123 Chapter I

27th November 2013:
Hi there! I'm here for our review swap :)

I think you did an amazing job at characterizing Rowena. Even though she is, I'll admit, a canon character. Her personality is still something that was yet to be set in stone so just like I said in my review for 'on air', you had the full rights to turn Rowena into a person entirely of your liking. Of course her character had to embody the traits of Ravenclaw house to some extent but even then, you did an absolutely unbeatable job, well done!

Now, I'm not an historian so even if they were a few errors here and there, I didn't notice them at all and even if they were then you don't need to worry about them because I doubt they would make this story any less of the lovely piece of writing that it is. Your paragraphs and imagery flowed smoothly and your writing was very plain sailing and lovely to read.

What's more is that I am very jealous of how effortless your dialogue came across to the reader and trust me, I find dialogue so so so hard to write (ugh). So, I am in awe of the fact that you could pull it off so well.

I will definitely be reading more of this, keep up the good work!

Bella x

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much, I'm so glad you like my charactersation of Rowena! My goal in that was to bring out the traits of Ravenclaw house in her character, and you're absolutely right in that there's still a lot of leeway in fully developing a character who doesn't actually appear in the books.

Thank you for the lovely compliments about my writing style and imagery! ♡ And I'm glad there are no noticeable historical errors, haha.

I'm glad the dialogue worked too. I understand your difficulties with writing dialogue! To be honest I've always wondered if the dialogue in this story sounded too modern, so thanks - that is so great to hear that it seems effortless.

Thanks so much for reading, and for your review!


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Review #37, by maraudertimes Chapter I

20th November 2013:
Hey! Totally sorry about the late reply, I only just got my wireless back...

I really liked this. It was very interesting and, seeing as I haven't read many founders fics, I found it very fresh and original. I found Rowena to be endearing in her semi-obsession over Salazar, although the characterization of Salazar is definitely something new. While I do believe he might be able to keep from saying muggle slurs around his friends, I'm not too sure if he could ever, shall we say, 'forgive' muggles. He did grow up in an purist family, did he not? But I'm guessing something happens with Maeve, so I won't go on and say he's OOC just yet. ;)

Also, the way Rowena is not at all impressed with her suitors is quite funny, especially the fiasco with Lord Redwald. Does that man like to talk about himself. And Rowena is right. I don't see what's so impressive about casting an invisibility charm.

I really liked how you focused on the friendships of these characters as well, and it's cool to see them interact before Hogwarts. This seems like a very interesting story and I'm excited to see where the plot is headed.

Great job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you :) I'm so glad you found it original, and that you liked Rowena and the friendships between the characters!

That's a good point you made about Salazar. This chapter is from Rowena's point of view, so it's only how she sees him. But I personally think that Salazar wasn't always full of hatred towards Muggles - at least in the beginning, otherwise he would never have been such good friends with Godric.

Thanks so much for reading and for your lovely review, I appreciate it!


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Review #38, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne Chapter I

11th November 2013:
Hello! I've been on a mission to get all of my reviews done, so I thought I may as well review yours while I was at it.

First of all, I really enjoyed this chapter. While the speech might be a bit modern for the time frame, I'm not an expert on tenth century England either, so I don't have any critique for you there ;P

Rowena's characterization was really good! I like how you made her young, so you can see that while she is wise and intelligent, she hasn't quite reached the maturity of thought that she was known for in her later years.

I love how you've portrayed the founders. Many people focus on Slytherin's betrayal and forget that before they split, they were friends. It's lovely ow you've shown their friendship and their reliance on each other.

I also really liked that hints about war and unrest. It was a really good way to introduce the setting and conflict in this conversation between friends.

I can't wait to see how Slytherin's character grows and changes into the man known at Hogwarts. Does it have something to do with this muggle girl he's so infatuated with? Hmmm.

Spelling and grammar were impeccable as far as I could see, so that's wonderful!

To answer your question, yes, the first chapter does make me want to keep reading.

I really enjoyed the descriptions in the first paragraph: they really caught my attention with the vividness of the scene you pictured there, so well done.

Excellent first chapter!

~Gilly

Author's Response: Hi Gilly! Aw, thank you! I was sure I had accidentally posted when you had the review queue closed, so I appreciate that you did this anyway, that was really sweet of you.

I was worried about the dialogue. Since I wasn't there in the 10th century to hear how they actually spoke back then (big surprise, right?) I wasn't sure if it would be too awkward sounding. But if you didn't think it took away from the story, that's good.

It's wonderful to hear that you like my portrayal of the founders and their long standing friendship. What a great point you made about Rowena too, being very intelligent but a little immature - I'm really glad you liked her.

Much of the war and unrest is actually historical, there were a lot of wars going on at the time against Vikings - so I just extended it into the wizarding world as well! I'm glad you liked that setting.

I really appreciate your comments on my description - that was one of the things I worked on the most in that chapter so I'm glad it set the scene well.

This was a lovely review, thank you so much!


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Review #39, by Nasim6413 Chapter VI

1st November 2013:
Yay another chapter! :D I totally enjoyed it, even if there wasn't many interesting events happening. At least we got the idea of what was going on at Hogwarts.

Please update soon!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you so much! Yeah, that chapter was kind of filler, but I kind of like showing the average day once they'd got all the issues mainly worked out. It's a stepping stone to the next chapter which will have important stuff happening. I'll be writing the next chapter soon, so hopefully it will be up pretty quickly! Thanks again :)

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Review #40, by APerkins Chapter II

23rd October 2013:
Awww ... Be warned, I'm on my phone again. .. puter issues. But I'll try n re read before I send!
What a nice lovely solution to the problem.
I'm still not a fan of Rowenas. Her solution is to fix the educating of kids. . But that will ... as godric said it doesn't solve the main problem. Presumably that's where the statute of secrecy will come in later.

I feel like we have missed a little bit. Rowena asked if godric teaching them had helped. .
But we don't know what it helped? I mean muffle can now produce a caterpillar but it has not helped the issue of anti wizard sentiment anywhere.

Still I can see how it's a terrier and the seed of an idea to start a school.
:) I feel like this story we have got straight into and the plot line takes off right from the beginning.
You know me, the more conflict the better. And it doesn't get any more complex than muggles hating wizards.
Yay!
As always your strongest point is your dialogue. And in this story you've woven in description so naturally it just flows. Action, description, dialogue, you are writing really well! Love it! :)

Author's Response: Well, you might not like Rowena, but without her, Hogwarts may not have existed at all! :p

She was asking if it helped the children feel less guilty about doing magic and having magical abilities. Maybe I didn't make that clear enough in the chapter, I'll go back and have a look at that.

yeah, this story does start out better with conflict/action from the beginning. I started this after I finished writing TBAH, so I'd figured out how to actually plan out a plot by that point, lol.

I'm so glad you like the dialogue! Sometimes I worry it's not archaic enough so it's really great to hear that it's strong. Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #41, by APerkins Chapter I

21st October 2013:
Oh this is great! I love the way you have set this up! I really really hope there are no glaring historical errors. History comes to life in fiction and a well researched story is so educational! I blush to confess I feel like I'm in familiar territory in some eras purely because others have written it so well in the books I read. This is great. I actually think it's even better than your brave at heart which. . as you know. .. im s big fan of!

I read this and was so glad helga was married she should be- one of the spring hats sings made me just assume she was, rosy Apple cheeks, baking pastry, smiling a lot. .
AnyWay.

Interesting thought on the Broom creation! I had assumed they'd been around forever :)

I have to admit I already have favourite characters. Rowena.. Well don't tell et, but she isn't one of them! Lol I dint think she and I would be friends in real life.

Now salazar on the other hand. . Laughing, friendly, determined. I love how he has come across!
Of course helga too, but also redwald! I thunk id hate him in r l but I love how u depicted him and will love hating him :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Wow, thanks! I am so glad you're enjoying this. I hope there are no historical errors either, haha! I did do a fair bit of research on medieval England and Scotland when I was planning out the story, so I hope there's nothing off about it that I missed. But yes, I love reading history in fiction too, so I know what you mean.

People tended to get married very early at that time so I figured it only made sense if two of the founders were already married. I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Salazar so much! I really think that in the beginning at least, he was a good guy. He had to be, in order to be friends with Gryffindor, which we know from canon. I'm glad you liked Helga as well! Haha, Lord Redwald doesn't show up much after this, as the POV rotates in later chapters, but I'm glad you love to hate him :D

Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed the bit about brooms too! According to the Quidditch Through the Ages book, there was a lot of broom developments around that time so the flying broomstick makes a few appearances throughout the story :p

Thank you so much for this review! It really made my day. I think I say that to you all the time, but it's true every time! ♥


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Review #42, by rozen_maiden Chapter I

20th October 2013:
Review tag!
I've never read a founders story before, so I was pretty excited to read this - and I wasn't disappointed either! I love Rowena. I can already tell that she is a strong, beautiful and (of course) wise woman. I think you've really set her up to be something beyond what she sees herself just in this first chapter - the fact that she does not care for suitors, and has her eyes on one man really opened up her story. It's almost sad, actually. I do like that her mother, though persistent, respects her wishes though.

And Helga is just very sweet! Quiet like how I pictured her :)

Founders era and time-pieces are hard to write, but i think you have an excellent opening here and a great start to this story. I should probably get back to my assignments, but once i have some spare time, I'll definitely come back to finish this story!
Mahalia

Author's Response: Hi! Well thank you, I'm honoured to be your introduction to Founders stories, haha. And I'm so glad you liked it - it's wonderful to hear that you liked the portrayal of Rowena and her story so far. I appreciate your comment about her mother, too - I intended her to be a lot like Rowena in that way - she thinks she is right, but knows when to stop arguing! :)

Thank you so much, I'm really glad you like the opening to the story and that you're hoping to continue reading. Best of luck with your assignments and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! ♥


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Review #43, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter VI

19th October 2013:
I have to say, beginning the enrollment at nine is spot on for the time. It seems as though many age-related stipulations were much lower many years ago than they are present day.

Ah, lovely, the founder's children!

I know I should trust the narrator, but I sense a serious plot twist brewing! Something is going to happen with Salazar, isn't it? The anticipation is killing me!

Right, now that that has been said...

I love that Edith and Rhys are troublemakers! Every good story needs one or two mischievous members to stir up the pot a bit! This chapter is a perfect introduction to these character!

Creaothceann is a genius idea, by the way. I'm guessing it may just be the very crude and primitive beginnings of Quiddich?

I can't believe I have to wait to read more! I suppose I'm selfish like that :). At any rate, I will be waiting!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Oh, good! That's wonderful to hear that it seems to fit with the time.

That's the thing with four narrators... they don't all agree, or see the same things ;) You'll get Salazar's POV again in the next chapter, though!

Haha, I'm glad you like Edith and Rhys! All the kids are troublemakers really - I think with a bunch of young kids whose parents are the founders of the school, they'd think they can get away with a lot!

Creaothceann is pretty ridiculous, right? I didn't actually come up with that myself - it's mentioned in JKR's book Quidditch Through the Ages! (So yes, I think it's one of the precursors to Quidditch)

Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews! To be honest, I hadn't thought about this story for a while (these chapters had been written for months) but I've reached the end of my finished chapters so now I'm inspired again, and I'm going to start working on the new chapter ASAP! :)


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Review #44, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter V

19th October 2013:
That's right, Godric Gryffindor's wife battles vikings! I love that particular dynamic, by the way. I quite enjoyed the scene where they were testing the sorting hat and Lucinda was sorted into Slytherin. This, of course, had to be closely followed up by Godric's quick bout with that hat. It was all too funny.

You are going to break my heart with poor Salazar, you do know that? I can feel it coming! I am glad that you gave him somebody to love, although I have the feeling it wont do anything to stopper the war inside him, will it? His quiet remarks are going to lead to nothing good, but it seems that Rowena is of great help in keeping him at bay, for now.

Speaking of, I do hope Rowena will find happiness. I suppose not all stories can have happy ending though, can they? I'm such a hopeless romantic.

Well, there's no time to dwell. There is more to be read!!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Of course she does :D You know that Godric Gryffindor's wife could be nothing less than awesome. I'm really glad you like that dynamic! Haha, the sorting hat scene was not originally planned - I was trying to not write really goofy scenes in this story but that one just wrote itself and I left it in. I'm glad it didn't seem too out of place!

You are very perceptive ;) And that's all I'm going to say on that topic. More to come in the following chapters!

As for happy endings... well, we all know where the Founders' story ends up. :-/ I guess this story is more about the journey than the destination, since the destination is already known (if that makes sense!) Nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though :)


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Review #45, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter IV

19th October 2013:
Awe! Even a little love story woven in! An author after my own heart, truly. I loved Salazar and Maeve at the beginning, especially since she was a muggle. I knew it held that beautifully tragic potential. So when the hammer fell, I was (almost) expecting it. The blow came in pretty hard though. Oh, poor Salazar! He's so misunderstood with his speaking to snakes and such. And that *taking a deep breath* bad person went and got married! She's ruined him! I must get off this topic before I become too excited and start ranting :). But thank you for creating a character whom I will eternally hate! Salazar should feed her to his basilisk...

Right, moving on.

Have I mentioned before how much I love that you are showing the development of the Hogwarts schooling structure. I I have, I hope that there is no harm in reiterating. Which bring me to the birth of Defense Against the Dark Arts, brilliant Salazar! I enjoyed that you used his character in the idea of its creation with his well-rounded argument of "Knowing the Dark Arts helps with Defense against it." Silly other founders with their disagreeing and whatnot!

Right then...off to the next chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi again! ♥ I'm glad you like the little side plot of Salazar and Maeve. "Beautifully tragic potential" - that's a great way to phrase it, I like that! Poor Salazar indeed. Slytherin never struck me as the type to forgive easily (or at all, I suppose) so yeah, Maeve didn't leave him in a good place. :( Haha, feel free to eternally hate her!

Thank you so much - I'm really glad you are enjoying the journey of the development of Hogwarts. I figured it had to have changed a bit over 1000 years, so it functioned a bit less smoothly then, haha. And yes, I think Salazar would have had sound reasons for teaching the Dark Arts - his friendship with Godric would make no sense if he were super into Dark magic just for the fun of it!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! You are the best! ♡


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Review #46, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter III

18th October 2013:
Okay, so I couldn't help myself. I had to read just one more chapter tonight.

Helga's right, that name would have been much too long! This was an interesting little segment on how they came up with the name of the school and how they decided to set it up.

I never thought I would read about the construction of Hogwarts! I may a bit too enthralled because I ended up having to read it twice :). Ah this was so much fun! The beginning of everything! Even the first students arriving (one on a dragon to boot) and the first attempt at proper sorting...the first classes!! I am very sorry, I become excited far too easily.

...and then I read your author's note at the bottom about the chapter not being exciting and laughed at myself like the fool I am :)!

I think this era is gaining much more interest with me now than it ever has. I am so glad I began reading this! Unfortunately, I have to pause for the time being or else I am going to be late for work!

I can't wait to read more!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: You are too sweet! Hehe, I'm glad you're so excited about reading it though! :D

I'm really glad you liked the construction segment! It's funny that you mentioned that - I didn't know if anyone would find the paragraphs about stonework interesting, so thank you! I'm so happy to hear you thought it was fun, what with the dragon and everything haha... I've never built a castle in two years and then tried to teach classes in it, but if I did, I imagine it wouldn't go according to plan or work smoothly at first. :p

I'm thrilled you're finding the Founders era interesting as well! Your reviews have been so much fun to read so far - thank you! Hope you made it to work on time ;)


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Review #47, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter II

18th October 2013:
You are pegging the founders phenomenally. Rowen always being right and Godric not being able to help himself by standing up for those he cares about of course are probably key value characteristics of the two, given the Houses that they will eventually establish.

I am very happy to see that you are developing these characters somewhat indirectly through interactions and actions. It makes for a much more interesting story. This obviously is the perfect set up for me to tell you that this is so beautifully written! If I were to be browsing a bookshop and ended up flipping through this as a book (given that I would have no idea about the Harry Potter series else it would have been snatched sans peaking) I would probably end up buying it. Your particular writing style appeals to me so much, I am pretty sure it's my favorite of all fan fiction writers so far (DON'T TELL THEM I SAID THAT!!).

I just want to add that the part where Godric was teaching the children about magic was so sweet! I think that he may have stolen my heart a little bit!

I am excited to read the next chapter very soon!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Eee! This might be my favourite review I've ever gotten, it totally made my day - although your praise of my writing is going to inflate my head so much that I might float away into space! :p

I'm so glad you like my portrayal of the founders and that you think their personalities match their houses well. And yes, I think characters' actions speak louder than my words about them (if that makes sense, haha) so it's great to hear that you like the way I've developed the characters indirectly.

I really enjoyed writing that scene :) Glad you liked it!

Thank you for reading, and for such a wonderful review! ♥♥♥


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Review #48, by Rumpelstiltskin Chapter I

17th October 2013:
Review tagging :)

Your style of writing reminds me of Jane Austen's specifically in her novel "Pride and Prejudice." It has its own unique twist of course and I quite like it. It definitely has the air of classical writing.

This is the first Founder's story that I have read, honestly. It is interesting to see your take on what happened.

The social structure surrounding the time is fascinating! It's so much fun. I love how Rowena's class rank does not stop her sense of adventure as she escapes the party with Salazar. The interactions between the characters are lovely as well. I especially enjoy Salazar and Godric's relationship.

I am very excited to read more, this is so intriguing!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much :) Ooh. I've never been compared to Jane Austen before, I'm honoured! (I love Pride and Prejudice!) I'm really glad you think it has an air of classical writing - one of the hardest things for me is to make it sound old enough and not too modern, so that's really wonderful to hear.

I'm so glad you like the characters as well, and the friendships between them. So happy to hear that you liked it, and I hope you enjoy the rest! :)


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Review #49, by Nasim6413 Chapter V

4th October 2013:
This chapter was awesome :D Please, please, please update the story soon because I really want to know what happens next!

The story is epicly amazingly awesomely awesome so far :D !

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad the silliness of the Sorting Hat didn't take away from the chapter, lol. And what a wonderful reminder - I actually have completed the sixth chapter but never got around to posting it! I will get on that straightaway :)

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Review #50, by Nasim6413 Chapter II

4th October 2013:
This is a really good chapter, and just like the first chapter, I found it flawless. I can't find anything that I didn't like.

Good job, and keep it up! :)

Author's Response: Eeep! What a lovely surprise review! ♥ Thank you so much, I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! By the way, welcome to HPFF! ;)

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