Reading Reviews for Crossing Delicate Boundaries
  
104 Reviews Found

Review #26, by crestwood Nightmares

10th July 2014:
I really like Draco's POV here. The flashback/dream is really well done and super detailed. Draco and Astoria clearly aren't going to work out. He's softened up way too much for her now, she seems to hate Hermione more than Draco does even. I'm a bit surprised that she said that Ron, Harry and Hermione deserve to die. I usually see people writing her as more friendly than Draco, but I do like her like this as well. I'm pretty engrossed in this story now, I can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: For some reason I have always seen Astoria as a biotch. :) I am not sure why but I just see her being very snobby and ect. I am glad you can't wait to read on. That makes me hapy!

 Report Review

Review #27, by crestwood Neighbors

10th July 2014:
One thing I've noticed on this site is that romances tend to be rather one note, in the sense that the characters fall in love and not much else happens. So, I appreciate how in depth you went here into the specifics of Hermione's (and now Draco's) job. I enjoy the insight into what kind of life she has outside of her love life. I have to admit, I didn't expect Draco to be quite so mean here. It seems as though Azkaban has had a nasty effect on him. I'm intrigued to see how you write his eventually falling for Hermione after all that he said in this chapter. Great work so far!

Author's Response: Hi crestwood! Thank you for coming by again and reviewing!!! Wow I was pretty surprised to see so many reviews! :D
I am glad you appreciate the depth I went into for them and I hope you read on!


 Report Review

Review #28, by crestwood Letters from Lav

9th July 2014:
I am completely on Hermione's side here. I had a weird feeling about Ron having regular correspondence with Lavender in the first place, but after he admitted to having a crush on her, it became so SO unacceptable to me. I'm glad Hermione isn't having a child with him because he is clearly not ready for that sort of thing. The characterization is spot on in this chapter. I can imagine Harry trying his hardest to stay behind and comfort her - it's totally his nature. I'm impressed when people venture away from cannon but retain the character's personalities nonetheless. The meeting with Draco was good. Not rushing into a steamy romance. This ship generally has to move slowly in order to be believable, so it's good that they're apprehensive at first. Good chapter!

Author's Response: Hello again!
I am once again glad that you came and reviewed and I am especially glad that you are enjoying the characterization and the flow!
Please come back and read!!!


 Report Review

Review #29, by crestwood Positive or Negative

9th July 2014:
Hey, crestwood from the forums here with your requested review!

I apologize for taking so long to get around to this, but unfortunately, real life came about and usurped all of my free time.

I like Ginny and Hermione's friendship here. I always enjoy it when people write them as close friends. I don't read much of the Post-Hogwarts era but I'm interested in how people handle the time period.

I know this is a Dramione fic, so I'm interested in how Azkaban may have changed Draco. I don't think I blame her for seeing Draco when Ron is getting friendly with Lavender Brown of ALL people. This is really well written so far and I'm fascinated to see where you go with this!

Author's Response: Hey there!
Thanks so much for coming by and reviewing and don't worry about making me wait- I don't mind!
:)
I am glad you are liking my characterization because I have struggled with it in the past. I am also glad you enjoy the relationships I am making so far!
Thanks for reading, hope you continue!


 Report Review

Review #30, by Meleessuhh Black Robes and Roses

7th July 2014:
Is Astoria faking her pregnancy?! Also, was that Pansy's long-lost sister that is going to be important soon?! Haha but seriously, good chapter and good pace. I think Ron's frustrated because he expected to be let off kinda easy especially since they've known each other for so long. I reckon Hermione will start giving him the cold shoulder and warm up to Draco haha. Update soon! :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you for reading and you will find out about Astoria soon enough; )

 Report Review

Review #31, by hermione75 Black Robes and Roses

7th July 2014:
No mistakes in this chapter. That was intense. Please let me know when you put up more chapters:)

Author's Response: Thank you! I will do ;)

 Report Review

Review #32, by hermione75 Bad Timing

7th July 2014:
You capitalized the "te" in wanted in the sentence "He just got out of Azkaban and wanted to get his life together!" Take out "are" in the sentence "It depends if I get these few cases are turned into the head by around three or not." Really good chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks Kris :) so glad you have continued reading!

 Report Review

Review #33, by hermione75 Questions and Concerns

7th July 2014:
The story is really starting to grab my attention now. Only a few mistakes. You used his instead of him in the sentence "At first Hermione ignored him and apparated but then she finally listened to him..." And you left out the e in what're in the sentence "What're you doin'?" Amazing job

Author's Response: Aww thanks so much! I'm glad it's starting to grab your attention. Glad you like it!!

 Report Review

Review #34, by hermione75 Pansy's Fate

7th July 2014:
Love story turned murder mystery? I love it!! Only one mistake in this chapter. You used him instead of her in the sentence "Even though he didn't desire for her to touch him at the moment..." Really good job so far in the story.

Author's Response: Yep pretty much a mix of both :D

 Report Review

Review #35, by hermione75 These Cell Walls

7th July 2014:
Great job on this one. Again, just a few misspellings. "She took comfort in knowing if he tried anything then his arrogant..." not than. "Hermione of course looked curiously... been here before when they..." not hwen. "Her fear showed in her brown eyes as she explored the claustrophobic walls..." not caustrophobic. "...I never wanted to be disowned by my family and especially by my eldest siter who was my role model..." not romodel. And then you need to take out the second "I" in the sentence "But if I told him not to then I my loyalty..."

Author's Response: I am glad ur liking it and still reading :) eek! Please keep reading!

 Report Review

Review #36, by hermione75 A Tough Investigation

7th July 2014:
There were just a few misspellings. But overall a really good chapter. When Ron tries to kiss Hermione after she had to choke down his breakfast, "...and attempted to kiss her on the lips..." not then.
Another when Malfoy finds out it's his mum's case that Hermione was hiding. "There are other highly trained detectives..." not areis.
And the last one. "She fought for Harry and if she didn't then..." not thean.
Good job on this one lindz:)

Author's Response: Aww thanks so much once again. Ur awesome Kris! I hope you continue reading on once I get time to p O st more chapters!!

 Report Review

Review #37, by Lostmyheart Neighbors

4th July 2014:
Hi Lindsey!

Ugh, I am so sorry for the long delay on your requested review! Exams, lots of house guests and a broken laptop - not the best combination. But here I am :)
I really enjoyed this development of your story. Neighbours AND co-workers (sort of) - and I wonder if Draco knows she lives next door? Uuuh :D Exciting.
The general flow of your story is very easy, I read it without any problems, and I like how you wrote the different scenarios.
I was a little surprised to see that they called themselves for officers, haha :D I haven't heard that before... but then again, I have no idea what aurors call themselves? Hi I'm Aurortrainee Granger. That's probably a tad too long when trying to introduce yourself.

I enjoyed reading this chapter, and I actually don't have any CC - at least what I could see from this chapter. It was a very nice and simple chapter, which I obviously enjoyed reading.

Since I've decided to close my reviews offered thread, you can't re-request anymore :( But thank you so much for filling the spots ^_^ I hope you found my reviews helpful, in any way.

- Avi

Author's Response: Hi Avi,

Eeek no CC that's always good! I am so glad that you like it! Yes Draco knows they are neighbors and at first he's not so happy about it. I hope you read on when I can come and re-request! Thanks so much for reading:)
-Lindsey


 Report Review

Review #38, by TidalDragon Bad Timing

27th June 2014:
Hello again!

This chapter seemed to slide back a bit from where you had gotten to before, mainly because it bit off a lot of high impact topics and scenes, but did not really develop them significantly - these being the revelation of Astoria's pregnancy, the "I love you" moment (crucial in any relationship), and pre-funeral contemplation. While none are outside the realm of possibility as you've developed the story, I think the problem is that each lend themselves to a lot of detail and exploration and we didn't really get that.

The second problem follows on from that. It almost felt as if those major items played second-fiddle to the development of more Draco/Hermione vibes. No matter how conflicted he is about his future with Astoria, or how concerned he is about the funeral and safety, those things would seem to dominate his thoughts. Your Author's Note revealed what you were going for, but I think that could have been accomplished more effectively by including those things as minor details in a chapter supremely focused on Draco and Astoria and their issues/relationship.

That aside, I thought the things you chose for Draco to observe and the minimalist manner in which you described them was appropriate. Since he is just noticing them (and they are only faintly registering on a conscious level with him, keeping them simple is good.

I think you're still on the right track overall, just stay disciplined like in previous chapters and don't run away from the patient approach that had served you much better in them.

Author's Response: Hi Kevin,
Thank you for stopping by again! I admit this chapter was a bit rushed and it is also unedited. I kind of rushed to get another chapter in the queue, and I regret that because even reading it I also feel it needs a little work. I definently plan on editing this and making it work around the plot a little better. Thank you so much for your advice, I always enjoy and appreciate it!
-Lindsey


 Report Review

Review #39, by Hats For House Elves Questions and Concerns

27th June 2014:
I'll do a full review to answer your request on the end chapter. This one doesn't count.

Why didn't you write the Hermione and Ron get back together scene? Are you leaving it to our imaginations? Give us a bit of Ron and Hermione getting on. Please pretty please. :D

Author's Response: Will do ;)

 Report Review

Review #40, by jin1 Bad Timing

25th June 2014:
Still loving it and I can't wait to read more! :D

Author's Response: Thanks jin! I am so happy that you are still following my story!

 Report Review

Review #41, by ot1 Bad Timing

25th June 2014:
This is developing really well, I love how you have Draco and Hermione's POVs and that way we can see what all is happening! I also enjoy how slowly you are developing the dramione because you aren't just jumping right into it. Way to go!

Author's Response: Hey there! thanks so much for reading and I hope you read on!!!

 Report Review

Review #42, by Ramyfan Bad Timing

24th June 2014:
Astoria isnt really preganant, is she? Well the ron and hermione romance is annoying because i dont like them together but i like the idea of draco and hermione working together and who murdered pansy? I hope you reveal that soon

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reading! They won't be together for long, don't worry. And I will reveal who killed Pansy in later chapters :D thanks so much for coming to read!

 Report Review

Review #43, by Meleessuhh Bad Timing

24th June 2014:
You know what, I really like the pace of your story. It's not rushed and I despise rushed stories because there is no development of character or plot and everyone just wants romance. I like how Draco is subtle about checking out Hermione and is being more observant than lustful and I like how Hermione is taking her time with her relationship with Ron. It's also nice seeing a lot of Malfoy's point of view showing that he really isn't that bad of a person. Oh and is Astoria lying?? I have a feeling she wants to trap him in a relationship haha. Great chapter can't wait for the next update :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for stopping by and reading this story of mine ;) I'm glad you like the pacing- I am working really hard on it because I didn't do so well in the past. I hope you keep reading on!! And you will find out about Astoria soon enough! :)

 Report Review

Review #44, by thetrainridein Bad Timing

24th June 2014:
loving it so far, keep it up x

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks very much! So glad you like it! :D

 Report Review

Review #45, by Veritaserum27 Nightmares

18th June 2014:
Hi Lindsey, here for the review swap!

So, we finally get to see what was going on with Draco! I thought he was acting really suspicious when he and Hermione visited that woman. I actually feel really bad for him. That whole scene was written really well.

At the end of this chapter Draco comments to himself that he thinks Azkaban changed him, but I think he had a conscience all along. He may not want to admit it, but he has a good heart.

I need to comment on your pacing of this story. It is excellent. Too many authors try to just jump right into getting Hermione and Draco together. Either that or they try to make Draco into someone who is totally different from the books. You have given him believable qualities and, at the same time, not taken away the pure blood in him.

Astoria. Ugh. She is nasty, selfish and mean. I think Draco realizes this already but isn't sure what to do, because he is expected to marry her.

I also like the way you interjected little hints of Draco caring about Hermione. It is really subtle and again, paced really well.

In addition, I wanted to comment on your use of descriptions. For example, you started the chapter with a freezing night and ended it with a hot shower. Both events were the extremes and both were painful for Draco. Excellent use of literary elements. This chapter was about Draco's pain and you did a great job with it!

Thanks for doing a review swap!

Beth

Author's Response: Hey Beth,
Eeek, thank you so much for the nice review!
I am so glad that you enjoyed reading this and that you think I am doing a good job so far. That makes me happy!!! I think my writing has def improved since my past stories. I hope you continue to read on eventually. Thank you!
-Lindsey


 Report Review

Review #46, by TidalDragon Questions and Concerns

18th June 2014:
Howdy howdy! Back to fill your review request as I procrastinate badly on my own story :/

So I do want to underscore at the start that I think you are definitely making strides with the story. The dialogue and characterizations have become a lot more fitting from what I can tell so far and slowing things down to develop this new plotline with the murder(s?) should help you stay patient while injecting something that can maintain interest while the romantic side is a bit cooler.

A few general things stood out this time. First, there were a number of times toward the beginning where you used phrases like "of course" or "as usual". In some instances, the latter will be warranted, for example if you're announcing a routine that will be important to know about the character's day. However, most of the places where I noticed it in the chapter, it felt unnecessary to me. On some of those occasions as well, for example, the listing of the ingredients of French toast, it also underscored the idea that perhaps what you were including along with that phrase was itself unnecessary. If you find yourself interjecting those types of phrases, I would ask yourself the question - do I need this? It may be a subconscious clue that you don't.

The other two minor points were these: Teddy's speech and the investigation bit. With Teddy's speech, I think you mentioned he was three. His sentences seem awfully well-structured and his ability to enunciate complex names like "Andromeda" is surprising. If we're going to learn he's something of a wunderkind, alright...if not, I'd think about it. Andromeda's name especially stuck out since he can't manage Hermione's just a line earlier.

With the investigation, if you're going to really work that plotline like is seems you are from your A/N, I think you're going to want to bulk up this investigative portion. Even if they obtained literally nothing of note, it would be nice for the reader to see how a magical investigation works (in your mind) in more detail. We don't get this from canon so I think the nitty-gritty might be something that readers would yearn for.

Overall, I think the arc of the chapter itself was sound though. It was coherent from beginning to end, had specific and distinct scenes that all served a legitimate purpose and you flowed fairly seamlessly from scene to scene. Just as an experiment, at a key moment in the next chapter, maybe try to heavily analyze your word choice. See if you can make the big moment really pop with stronger adjectives in descriptions and words that are laden with emotion or a certain connotation. That can take what you're doing well and raise it to the next level!

It's been a fun journey so far! I can tell you are working hard to trying to make this story as strong as possible and really polish your skills as a writer. Believe me it is showing! You have made great strides since your first request alone and that's something I think you should be really proud of!

As always, I hope I've proved useful, and don't be shy about re-requesting. As long as my queue isn't full, there's no official turnaround time limit for re-requests in my thread. You're not guilty of this, but all I ask is that you kindly respond to my last before requesting again. It may sound silly, but I appreciate the dialogue so I can leap in next time with a better understanding and hopefully be more helpful.

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hi there,
Wow, what a nice review! I am very happy that you are taking the time to keep reading my story and I get excited every-time I see one of your great reviews! I like all the points that you include and the advise as well. I will def re-request! And thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #47, by ReeBee Positive or Negative

18th June 2014:
Hi there Lindsey! Here for our review swap! Thank you for offering! :D This is just so good because I've been meaning to read a Dramione (Im pretty sure this is one…?) for a long time! :D so thank you!

Characterisation: i loved Hermione in this! A lot of other fics portray her as really clingy and Ron as the one who breaks it off and just clingy and emotional. But i love that she's feeling the distance and sort of growing apart and her feelings are dying down too. And wow, your description makes me hate ron, or just feel something weird :P And Ginny seems super sweet! Such a good friend! I really hope whatever's going to happen doesn't affect their friendship! And also, I love hermione's thoughts on Draco and his parents :'( that part was super sad.

Description: of events was really good! I quite liked that you did it without making it sound like you were just regurgitating a list or anything like that so that was great! The only CC I have is maybe a bit more description on Hermione's actual feelings/emotions? There was some but I would love more! But since this is only the first chapter, its really only just a base, so whatever's fine :)

Plot: Im interested! The last line made my blood boil :P Thats a good thing ;) And like i mentioned in the first part, i love that Hermione's feelings are starting to cool down for Ron, it is really realistic because you know, it could have just been like a passion of the moment kind of thing! So Im really interested! :D

I think you have such a great start here and i cant wait to read more! :D

-Curie :)

Author's Response: Hi Curie!
Well I hope that my Dramione will be the one that you read. I am so glad that you liked it and that you for the most part don't see any errors poking out! Yay! Thanks so much!!!
-Lindsey


 Report Review

Review #48, by Jusdelime Questions and Concerns

16th June 2014:
Hi !
Just wanted to tell you that so far i enjoy your story very much and i think it has a lot of potential. :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much!! I'm glad you like it so far and that you think it has alot of potential. :) I hope you read on!!!

 Report Review

Review #49, by x,peverell Questions and Concerns

16th June 2014:
love the story! keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hi! thanks so much!

 Report Review

Review #50, by jin1 Questions and Concerns

16th June 2014:
Wow, I think your story is going quite awesomely and I can't wait to read more into what is going to happen. I like the mystery type stories and it seems like your's will be like that update soon

Author's Response: hey jin
thanks so much for coming by and reviewing my story again I am happy that you are still enjoying it and keep on reading! yay!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>