Reading Reviews for Magpie
  
28 Reviews Found

Review #26, by nott theodore One for Sorrow

2nd June 2013:
Hi darling! You know how excited I was that you'd put this into the queue, and when you mentioned it was validated, I came over to read this straight away.

Well, it shouldn't really surprise you that I love this, since I love almost everything you write. The title is a brilliant choice, since there are so many different things that a magpie can symbolise. Already in this chapter I can see how one aspect ties in with Verity, as a collector of stories. I was actually thinking the other day how good the magpie poem would be to tie into a story, so it was brilliant to see it here. I wonder if the sight of different amounts of magpies will continue throughout the story and tie in with the poem?

Characterisation here was brilliant. Because of the events in this chapter I feel we maybe get to know more about Penny than Verity, simply because she is the main focus of Verity's thoughts here. I really like the fact that she's a strong, moral character because we see so little of her in the books, and as Percy's girlfriend there it's easy to think of her as a someone with a similar personality. I can see from this chapter that she wasn't the same, and to me it's completely understandable that Verity misses her so much, because she was obviously an important person and big influence on her life.

I'm not sure if I like Sebastian here, but I'm going to reserve judgement for the next few chapters. I can see some of the reasons he and Verity got together but it's equally obvious that they've grown apart since they left Hogwarts and that they want very different things in life. Sebastian doesn't really seem to understand the way Verity's feeling in this chapter, especially when he seems more concerned about people staring at her at the funeral, and essentially blames Penny for making herself into a target. It clearly wasn't what Verity needed at that point, but he doesn't understand that.

I love Verity's character here too. Although the main focus of her thoughts is really Penny, we still learn things about her personality and background. I think the grief of losing her best friend seems to have made her more introspective; the way she lists details about herself suggest that she's trying to reaffirm facts she already knows, to prove that she is real and to stop her from losing herself. There are so many interesting elements to her character - one that particularly interests me is the way she collects stories. I'd love to know more about why she does it and what she does with them.

I think you explore her grief very well. Naturally there's a lot more to come and it will last for much more than this one chapter, but the guilt, anger and denial are all here. The shock of losing her best friend at such a young age must compound the anguish she's feeling as well, because it was so unexpected and much harder to deal with because of that.

Another aspect I enjoyed in this was the inclusion of people such as McGonagall and Dumbledore at the funeral, because that sort of thing always makes stories seem more authentic and believable to me. I also liked the fact that for the majority of the people the war is still not real. It fits with what we know of canon and makes me wonder how differently people would have behaved during that year if they had believed Harry and Dumbledore. Does Verity have more of an idea about what is coming because of the shop she works in? It's really interesting to think about!

As for CC, there was just one typo I noticed in this chapter:
"I took the day of work" -- off
I'm not sure it's necessary to include the location of each new scene, since it's mentioned within the body of the story already. I also noticed one slight inconsistency with dates; at the beginning you tell us that it's March 1996 but go on to say "It is spring, London, 1997." which confused me a little.

I enjoyed this so much, and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter when it's up!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello! :) Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story and giving Verity some love, it really means so much to me and was so wonderful to read! :D

I'm glad you like the title, and yes, I love the idea of the magpie as a symbol and a plot device! :) I'm so glad you like the idea of the nursery rhyme, and magpies and Verity as collectors. It just came to me as something that might fit, and I ended up with a significant title! :D

I'm glad you liked both Verity and Penelope, and how Verity is so upset about suddenly losing her friend and what Penny meant to her. She's certainly very different from Percy, and we'll be learning a lot more about all those characters in coming chapters! :)

I'm glad you're giving Sebastian a chance, especially as we're mostly seeing him through Verity's eyes. A lot of relationships are ideal and perfect, and I really want to show a relationship that has gone on for a long time and started to degrade here as both of them have changed without admitting it!

I'm glad you liked the inclusion of the professors, as I felt like they would be helpful to ground the story to Hogwarts as much as possible. And yes, I like writing the innocent disbelief of people who don't necessarily believe Dumbledore and Harry! It's really fun to write outside of the Hogwarts sphere and wonder what it was like to live in the general wizarding world.

Thank you for this really lovely review, my dear! :) I absolutely loved reading it, you are the best! :D


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Review #27, by marauder5 One for Sorrow

2nd June 2013:
Well, I'm certainly not sorry to hear that you've started writing another story (I was beginning to feel the withdrawal when you hadn't update the Girl From Slytherin in a while, but that's all better now). Needless to say, this was outstanding. I've never read another author's work on this site that pulls me in the way yours does - you write so beautifully, you don't just put words together. Instead, you create beautiful sentences and stories, and I could read your stories for that reason alone. But then there's the fact that the stories themselves are brilliant as well! This is a bit like the Girl From Slytherin in a way, because it takes place during the books, only from another perspective. I love it.

I found it a bit confusing in the beginning, though. I have to ask about it: at first, you said it was 1996. Then she remembered the spring of 1997? And then she went back to 1996. Maybe you could make that part a bit clearer :)

Verity seems very interesting, indeed. I love how she liked to collect stories - and those she heard were just horrible. The part with Old Wendy was so tragic! How fate just had no mercy on her, and how she ended up in Azkaban, and how it drove her mad... so sad.

Sebastian is quite interesting as well. However, since you said that this is a George/OC story, I assume that he won't be around for very long. I could almost feel in the air between them that they were about to break up sometime soon - after all, Verity misses who he used to be.

There were little details that just made me sure that I'm going to love this story, so I thought I'd point out my favourite parts:

- Her parents being co-owners of Borgin and Burkes. I can't wait to see what they're like! Maybe it will be a bit like Tor/Yaxley, only I don't think Verity's parents will be nearly as bad as Yaxley is.

- How you had Ernie Macmillan's brother shake their hands and say "terrible, terrible." How very much alike they must be. It's so interesting to think about the life at Hogwarts from the POV of someone a few years older than Harry. It must be completely different.

- Giving Penelope an identity besides being Percy's girlfriend. I hope to get to know more about her story.

- Sebastian, Percy and Penelope competing against each other to be the best student in their year.

- And lastly, these words: "her song trapped within the walls close to my heartbeat, its steady rhythm just out of tune. Her story forever stored within me" Are you sure you're not a reincarnation of some old, famous poet?? I do hope you'll write a book one day. I know I'd buy it.

I noticed one typo: "the three faces to alike and so unlike" I think 'to' should be 'so'.

So to sum things up: I absolutely loved it, and I'm adding it to my favourites. I can't wait to see where it will lead. (I hope you're not sick of me showering you with praise, which is basically all I do when I review your stories, haha!). I look forward to reading more. I also hope you'll update the Girl From Slytherin soon! (yes, that was a hint.) ;)

Author's Response: Hello! :D Please know how much I loved receiving this review, and how excited I am that you enjoyed this new story! :) It really made me so, so happy!

You are seriously just too nice to me. All your kind words are so thoughtful and encouraging for me, and I'm very flattered that you enjoy my writing! :) I just can't handle the wonderful!

I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter and Verity, and I'll clear up the confusion about the dates! Basically, it takes place near the end of OoP. :) I'm glad you like Verity, and Old Wendy, who I really enjoyed adding in there. Knockturn Alley is really fun to imagine, and I enjoyed populating it with interesting characters!

Yes, Sebastian doesn't come across in the best light, does he? He's not a bad guy, they've just grown apart a lot and Verity does see him with sometimes red-tinted glasses, which isn't very healthy in a relationship! And as for George, well he'll be coming along soon! :P

Thank you for pointing out those enjoyable details, it's very helpful and reassuring to find out what you noticed and enjoyed! :) I had so much fun coming up with these minor characters and placing people in Verity's year. Even though the story doesn't place at Hogwarts, there will be a lot of references and probably flashbacks.

Thank you so much for this review, really I can't express how lovely it was! :D (And updates are coming... soon! I was on hiatus because of exams but have the next chapter of GfS written, minus one scene which I can't quite get right! :P) Thank you again! :)


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Review #28, by WitnesstoitAll One for Sorrow

2nd June 2013:
I saw your status on the forums promoting this story and as an author of a George-centric story, I couldn't help but creep over here to check this out. Boy, am I glad I did! I love the potential that the character of Verity brings to a story -- we really don't know anything canonical about her, and so the possibilities are endless!

I love the set up you present in this chapter. I know Penelope doesn't appear in this chapter, but I feel like I know a lot about her and I really like the character you've crafted her to be. I love the dynamic between Sebastian and Verity and the way she reflects on Penelope and Percy. You've really brought a depth to a year of students we literally know next to nothing about.

I feel like a broken record, but I also love what you've revealed of Verity so far. I like how introspective she is. I am intrigued by the fact that she works at borgin and burkes. I can't wait to see how this story is going to develop. How she ends up at WWW, meets the twins, how her introspective nature complements their brash, extroverted nature.

Can't wait to read more!! Definitely looking forward to chapter 2. Keep up the good work. :)

Author's Response: Hello! :D

Thank you so much for checking out this story and leaving the very first review, it really made my day! :D I've been working on this story for a while and decided to just go through with it and publish it, so it's wonderful that you enjoyed the first chapter.

You're right, Verity is barely mentioned, so I enjoyed coming up with this whole backstory for her! She originally was going to work at the Leaky Cauldron, but being at Borgin's was just such a fun idea that I couldn't resist. :P

I'm very thrilled that you liked Verity, and are looking forward to the next chapter, which is mostly already written. Thank you so, so much for this lovely review! :D


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