Reading Reviews for Resistance
  
58 Reviews Found

Review #26, by adluvshp Thanatos Nott

19th May 2013:
Hey! Here for review tag!

Wow, I love the idea of your short story collection, of focusing on the post-war situation of some minor characters.

This chapter was very well-written and quite powerful. I liked the thought-process of the main character, of him thinking about his son, and not feeling remorse for his deeds at all. The way you expressed it all was very good and quite realistic.

Theere were a couple of typos here and there, like instead of then you write "the" etc., and the spacing was a bit too wide, but apart from that, this made for a smooth gripping read. I liked it.

Good work =)
9/10

Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you like the concept of this collection, it was really fun to imagine some minor characters and their struggles, and to imagine post-war life.

I'm glad you liked the main character's voice as well, and that he came across as believable. I really enjoyed writing him and trying to turn him into a dynamic character.

Thank you so much for the review! :)


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Review #27, by patronus_charm Petunia Dursley

17th May 2013:
Ok I think I was a little too excited to this was a Petunia-centric chapter. I always found her a truly fascinating character due to her relationship with Lily and how she treated Harry so I was really excited :D

I really loved how you started the chapter with newspaper clippings, Iíve never really seen that done before but it was a really interesting technique. I liked how it provided a fresh perspective over what had been happening recently through someone elseís eyes and that really changed the dynamic of it all.

I think another I really liked about them was the content of them. It showed that the wizarding world was still a sharply changing landscape and you really canít predict what may be happening next. I think one which showed this idea the most was the one about the centaur uprisings and that Bane had been killed as it was so shocking as they had held an inferior position for them for so long and then to see them challenging it was great.

I think it was a really great idea to start with the same line as JK did about how the Dursleys were normal and how they were just like everyone else, as that was the start of the Harry Potter series whereas this seems to be the start of the next gen era. I really liked the inclusion of the detail about their time in hiding as it added a humorous element to the story.

The part where Petunia was thinking about both the Lilys was really powerful. I always wondered how she viewed Lily II and I think you conveyed her thoughts perfectly. She was bitter over at, yet at the same time you can sense how she still loved Lily I and perhaps loved Lily II too. Her characterisation really was excellent and the idea of Moony the dog was also a great.

This was a really wonderful short story collection and it showed a realistic idea of what may have happened after the war through minor characterís perspective which added a certain level of freshness to it. Iím so glad that I came back and read the final two chapters :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello again, I was so excited to see that you reviewed both chapters!! :) I was a little uncertain of how they turned out, so getting this feedback is really great.

I'm glad you liked the newspaper clippings style, I felt like this chapter was a little out of place with the others and needed a way to tie them all together, so again it's great to know that it worked out alright.

I wanted to show in this story how the wizarding world has changed and how not everything has been fine and peaceful since Voldy's death. The tension with the centaurs seemed to build throughout the HP books, and it felt right that they would stand up for themselves at last. :)

Yay, I'm glad you felt like this both returned to the beginning of HP and signalled the next generation, as that's exactly what I wanted to convey! I wanted to give Petunia a little bit of redemption, but also to show how some things, like the Dursleys, stay pretty much the same even though years have passed and so much has happened in Britain right under their noses.

I'm glad you liked Petunia and her thoughts about the Lilys! I thought that while Harry kind of symbolized her conflicted jealousy and grief for Lily I, seeing herself and her sister in a little girl could have been an emotional moment for her. It was fun to imagine and play around with, anyway. :)

Thank you for such lovely reviews and for giving this thoughtful feedback. They were so great to read, and I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed the story and thought it was fresh. So, thank you!!! :D


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Review #28, by patronus_charm Stan Shunpike

17th May 2013:
I really enjoyed the first three chapters so I thought I would come by and check out the final two. Iíve actually been meaning to for a while, but I kept on forgetting. Oh well, Iím here now :P

I remember you posting on the forums about Stanís accent and I thought it was done really well. It was neither over or understated and perfectly captured his accent. I found it so hard at times to know where to change peopleís dialect and what extent to do it to, but you clearly had no issue with it here. You also used vocabulary appropriate to him too, which was a really nice addition to the story.

You managed to make Stan appear as a sympathetic character which is unexpected to say the least, as he always irritated me in the books. I think it was the line about him not seeing his reflection in over a year, as that was really shocking. Itís the sort of thing you see every day so it showed how horrible his experience in Azkaban must have been.

I really liked that we got to find out about what happened to Nott as it was a nice way to tie in the overall story. As well doing a great job with Stanís characterisation, you also did an excellent one with Umbridge with all her little Ďhmm hmmingí it was really great, as she is a hard character to pull off and Iíve only tackled her in a parody as anything goes then.

I didnít anticipate the twist at the end, but I really loved it. I can imagine that the Death Eater court cases must have been tense places and you managed to convey that well, so now Iíve seen that scene it almost makes think that fights and uprisings during them should be expected.

I think I only found off was that I thought Umbridge was sentenced to Azkaban too for her crimes against muggleborns so I was bit surprised to find her there. But that was a really minor thing.

Anyhow that was a really great chapter and Iím off to the next!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello! Is this one of the spontaneous reviews you were blogging about on the forums? If so, I absolutely loved it, it was such a nice surprise! :D

I'm glad you thought the accent worked out well, I played around with it a lot. I wanted to give it an authentic and believable touch while still being readable and getting the message of the chapter across, so it's really great to hear that it was effective. I really liked writing Stan, although I felt quite sad for him! He doesn't really know what's going on, and is definitely one of the people who suffers most from the war whether he was really innocent or not.

I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Umbridge! I kind of knew vaguely that she was supposed to have been sent off to prison, but thought she would make a good addition to the court scene and the unfairness of the whole situation. I'm thinking of adding a quick explanation that she managed to maneuver her way back into power, which I think is something that would happen in the injustice of the world which poor Stan inhabits. :(

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, and such a lovely and thoughtful one was well!! You're awesome!! :)



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Review #29, by WeasleyTwins Thanatos Nott

16th May 2013:
Hello darling! Here for a bit of review tag! (I've been meaning to pop over anyway and so finally getting around to it).

I don't know why, but something inexplicable drew me to this short story collection. I couldn't tell you what, but I was intrigued. Of course, that is thanks to your summary. Usually, I like short, snappy summaries, but yours was mysterious. That's a very difficult feat to accomplish, in my opinion, without sounding like one of those corny synopses on the back of a novel. So, bravo on the summary.

And your inclusion of lines from Paradise Lost! So, so perfect! Great way to introduce the chapter and, yet again, give us that mysterious, haunting feel. Voldemort is dead here, but there remains a sense of terror. I like it. Now, your narrator, Nott. I love the contrasts in his characterization/thoughts/personality. He is at once a loving father and a loyal follower of Voldemort. He has tender, kind memories of his youngest son and wretched, torturous memories of murdering those unlike him. It's a striking, wonderful contrast and one you pull of so well. I think that, as readers, we sometimes get caught up and do not realize that we ourselves are often a study in contrasts. We think that a character should have one particular trait and stay that way, but real life, real people don't do that. We're constantly changing and struggling against the forces of nature, of life, of others, of words, of actions. It's a twisted irony, I think. Anyway, that's probably one of the things I loved most about this story - the contrasts.

"The motley louse Weasley" - It's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be degrading, but this honestly cracked me up. I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. We see the Weasleys as endearing, if not poor, people. They see them as dirty, ratty blood traitors and that couldn't be further from the truth. In fanfiction, we often see the Death Eater mentality from Bellatrix stories, but I like that you've chosen someone different and almost equally malicious (were it not for his love of his sons). Gosh, I just cannot get over the beauty of the contrasts! Ah

Well, after that nonsensical ramble, I suppose I should tell you that I enjoyed this immensely. Wonderful job!

Shelby

Author's Response: Hi! What a lovely surprise of a review! :)

I'm glad you liked the summary, especially since I changed it around a lot and was a little concerned! Hearing that it drew you in is great to hear!

I'm glad you liked the PL quote at beginning, I thought some of the themes of PL, especially the confusion of good and evil, were relevant to this story. I'm glad you liked Nott, and you're right, he really is full of contrasts! I think that, like the Malfoys, none of the Death Eaters would be entirely dark or good, and that their good natures come and go. I enjoyed writing him and playing around with the different layers to his personality!

That's such a wonderful point about how readers like to interpret characters, and I've definitely been guilty of that myself! My characters feel much more realistic to me through these contrasts, and I'm so happy that you enjoyed them! :)

Haha, I thought that line was funny too! I see Nott as being wicked and hard-hearted like Bellatrix, but without the bloodlust factor... he actually does have something to protect and live for in his sons.

Thank you so much for this really lovely review!! :D


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Review #30, by hopelessDREAMS Thanatos Nott

15th May 2013:
Hello!

I have to say this is definitely interesting. Your writing style is different from anything I've seen in a long time and that's a good thing. It'd different from everyone else, it's what makes you stand out.

You don't see stories like this very often; at least not one I've read, it's always either post, pre-Hogwarts, or somewhere in between. You don't get point of views from other characters DURING the battle and it's refreshing.

I'd love to read more, so feel free to request again.

Author's Response: Hi there! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, I had a great time writing it and exploring Mr. Nott as a character. Aw, I'm glad you thought my writing style was unique, that actually is a great compliment!! :D

This short story collection plays around with minor characters after the war, and each story is pretty different. I'd love to know what you think of how they fit together as a whole, and I'll certainly re-request! :) Thank you for a lovely review!


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Review #31, by patronus_charm Filius Flitwick

13th May 2013:
Ooh I really loved this chapter, and I think itís my favourite one of all of them so far. I think itís the way you caught the calming nature of Flitwick, and he seemed so at ease with himself and the situation. It was strange to see that he could view death as something which just happens, but then heís the head of Ravenclaw so I suppose if itís going to be anyone it would be him.

You really caught peopleís reactions to certain situations, but I think my favourite part of the chapter was Flitwickís scene with Hermione. It was really heartfelt and tender. They understood one another perfectly. I could really tell that Hermione was grieving a lot just through her actions and Flitwickís observations.

I have a few minor CCís. The quote at the top was really spaced and I wasnít sure if you were aware of it, so I thought it would be best to point it out. Also, you have a fondness for colons, but you might want to change a few for semicolons to prevent repetition.

Other than that it was a really enjoyable chapter :í)

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you liked this chapter, it was one of my favourites as well! It's wonderful to hear you thought he was well portrayed, and that his calming personality and rational mind came across.

Aw, I'm so glad you liked the scene with Hermione! It was actually a last minute addition, but just felt right somehow. I think Hermione, who is not only the ultimate student but also very perceptive to how other people are feeling, would know exactly what to say to Flitwick.

Thank you for those tips, I will definitely work on that! :) And thank you for a lovely review! :)


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Review #32, by ShadowRose Thanatos Nott

11th May 2013:
Tag!

Wow. I'm in awe. Your descriptions are amazing. Everything is so clear throughout, that I feel like I'm actually there in the scene. Your writing style is just so eloquent and amazing.

I like that Thanatos Nott has at least some human qualities to him, especially as seen in the flashback to when his son was younger. I just felt so much pain for him, even though he actually was the bad guy. But every villain has at least some goodness to them, and I like how you capitalized on that here.

Also, it was interesting to get into the mind of a Death Eater, especially him specifically. It seems as though he was probably raised with the ideals that a pureblood society was truly superior, and the mixing of Muggle blood was a sin of itself. He almost viewed himself as "good." I love how he calls himself a revolutionary, because when you think about it, that's what Voldemort and his followers were, although not necessarily the revolutionaries that produce positive change.

Also, Tonks. Wow. You did an excellent job in capturing her emotions, and all that anger that was built up as a result of the grief she felt. Everything she expressed was just so raw and open, that I couldn't help but sympathize with her.

This sentence - "Perhaps they shall simply execute us, a generation lost to the Dark Arts, rows of pureblood bodies lined up like fallen soldiers, corpses to be desecrated and disposed of like Plague victims, thrown in a dirty pit of the commons." - was just so powerful. I mean, wow.

There are a couple spots where you use American spellings of words like "behavior" instead of adding the "ou" which is seen in British spelling. It's not a big deal, but it's nice for the sake of geographical accuracy. :)

Overall, this was a completely brilliant portrayal of a Death Eater's inner thoughts. I can't wait to read the next chapters!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thank you so much for this really lovely review, it made my day! :) The compliments on the writing style really mean a lot to me.

I'm glad you liked Nott, and the multiple sides to his character. He's a terrible person, but not entirely without some redemption, and he's definitely conflicted even if he didn't admit it to himself. It's great to hear that you felt for him, despite him being a villain. :) You're certainly right, he does seen himself as doing the right thing, and a revolutionary in his own mind. Getting into Nott's head was really fun for me!

I'm glad you liked Tonks as well! Adding her was a last-minute idea in this story, but I thought she could represent the pain and anger so many people were feeling.

Ah, thank you for pointing out the Americanisms, I'm always so confused about those! :P I'll change them when I edit the story.

Thank you for this really thoughtful and kind review!!! :)


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Review #33, by RavenclawGirl11 Petunia Dursley

11th May 2013:
I have to say this is my favourite of the five stories - I love that Petunia kept Lily in her pocket, although I thought she would have seen Lily's eyes in Al. Anyway, I reviewed all five chapter and I hope you take my advice into account

~ Macy

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you liked this one: structurally it was a little different from the other chapters. I'm glad you liked Petunia, it was a bit of a redeeming moment for her. Hmm, I thought she was so moved by Lily because she saw some of herself and her sister in her, whereas I feel like with Al she would probably just see a mini-Harry who also had Lily's eyes. I think Petunia also secretly wanted a daughter! :P

Thank you for all the reviews, they are very helpful and lovely! :)


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Review #34, by RavenclawGirl11 Stan Shunpike

11th May 2013:
I feel this was very in character and different from everything I have ever read. It is a bit mysterious - did Stan do it willingly or was he cursed? Why was he with the Death Eaters anyway?

Nevertheless, enjoyed it and going to read the next one now

~ Macy

Author's Response: It's great to hear that you thought this was different, and that it was a little mysterious and confusing. I kind of wanted to leave Stan's guilt up in the air: he's easily impressionable and confused about the experience himself. In the HP books Harry assumes Stan's under the Imperius curse, but it's never really proven.

Thank you for another great review! :)


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Review #35, by RavenclawGirl11 Filius Flitwick

11th May 2013:
This was beautifully written and exactly the right length. However, I think you do over use complex sentences and if you mixed them in with some short, simple ones It would improve.
~ Macy

Author's Response: Hello again! I will certainly be looking into that: I have a tendency to be very wordy when writing, and it's good for me to get feedback on it. Thank you again! :)

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Review #36, by RavenclawGirl11 Firenze

11th May 2013:
I had a great sense of characterization in this chapter because it is so different to the first. Again, I would work on variety of sentences and paragraphs, but it is not enough to effect the flow of the story.

Cannot wait to see where you take this
~ Macy

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the characterization in this chapter as well! It was very fun to write, especially with the different voices to play around with. :) Thank you!

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Review #37, by RavenclawGirl11 Thanatos Nott

11th May 2013:
You are a very skilled writer. The description of this chapter is un-believable, I can picture the scene in my head, hear the voices as I read them. I do not think you know how good you are.

I think you might benefit from adding some variety to your paragraphs and sentence structure. The characterization is beautiful, I pictured a dark hair man with haunting features and light stubble who looks down upon the mudbloods and blood traitors of the wizarding world. I had a sense of loyalty towards the Dark Lord, as if he loved him.

I also got from the character that he is ashamed of his son yet, inside he is ashamed of himself for setting this image to his youngest child and is secretly proud that his son has gone the other way.

I am going to continue reading the next chapter as I am intrigued where you are going to take this

~ Macy

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words, it really means a lot to me! I will keep your helpful advice in mind, and I think you're certainly right.

I'm glad that you liked the characterization, it is spot on! :) Especially with his conflicting shame and love for his son.

Thank you for all these lovely reviews! :)


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Review #38, by charlottetrips Thanatos Nott

10th May 2013:
Char from the Forums here with your requested review! I tend to comment as I go along and then summarize my overall review at the end.
The quote from Paradise Lost is so apropos! Have you read the book? Is that what made you think of this?

So far in the story, I am really digging Nott's overly righteous and zealous attitude. I can feel his concern for his sons but also his disdain for what they've become and who has won the war.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Destroyed, the one Chosen to Die - I don't really think of what the Death Eaters must have called Harry on their side. The names associated with him on the light side of course would not fit for them.

I dug the language that you wrote this in. Most of the descriptions really came off well but there were some places where the words seemed a bit convoluted and may have taken away from the moment more than added to it. There were some minor grammar and spelling points as well.

I like that you are doing a story like this. I find minor characters from the books a little hard to work with considering the fact that so little is written about them. I know that this should make it easier because then you can develop them as your own, but sometimes authors have a hard time doing that. This doesnít seem to be the case here.

His personality and viewpoints are clear here. He is loyal to the Dark Lord to the end and really does believe that what he did and what he fought for was the right thing. However, you also get into his own conflict over the matter, with his son refusing to follow his own path.

xChar

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm currently reading PL for school, and there's a lot of powerful quotes in there! Also, I thought the themes of PL fit so well with a lot of the themes with this story, and would help to tie the chapters together. There's the themes of rebelling against a higher power, of falling from grace, and of tricking/convincing others to fall with you. Also, PL can be read as a Republican text that offers the reader many choices and encourages themto make their own choices and judgements, which I saw as relevant to my story as well! :) Good to hear that you liked it!

I'm glad you liked Nott's voice and attitude! He's definitely a very contrary character, in how he loves his sons and wants the best for them but is also so entrenched in Voldy. Like you said, he's very conflicted, and there's no real happy ending for him.

I will definitely go back over the story and look out for wordiness and grammar mistakes. :)

I enjoy reading and writing about minor characters as well! Nott was pretty simple because we know next to nothing about him in the books, and also he's a minor character in my WIP so I went off that a bit. I really enjoyed getting into his head.

Thank you so much for this great review!!! :)


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Review #39, by bester_jester Petunia Dursley

9th May 2013:
Oh my, this is incredible. Congratulations on a great collection of short stories!

My favourites were probably this one and Professor Flitwick's. The raw emotion was just amazing.

It's strange that in all of the Lily Potter II fanfics I've read, she's never been likened to her namestake. And why shouldn't she be? I think perhaps assuming that she inherited red hair from the Weasley side probably takes precedence over anything else. I found your comparison, and Petunia's actions, really moving and beautiful.

Thanks for sharing these lovely stories!

Author's Response: Hello!! :)

I really loved writing this collection, and I'm so happy that you enjoyed it! Honestly, I got really emotional writing both Flitwick and Petunia, and it's amazing to hear that it came across in the writing.

I'm really glad to hear that you enjoyed Petunia's reactions to Lily! I think that while Petunia wouldn't have felt a bond with James II or Albus because of their resemblance to Harry, who she resented, the fact that Lily was a girl and reminded her of her sister would open her up to her memories. I wondered when writing this how Snape would have reacted to a second Lily Potter who looked like her namesake!

Thank you so much for this lovely and thoughtful review, it really means a lot to me that you enjoyed these stories! :)



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Review #40, by marauder5 Petunia Dursley

9th May 2013:
I'm so sad that it's over! I wish that you would have written another ten chapters, but I understand why you wont ;) And (other than being over) the story is perfect just the way it is.

The articles worked as a great way of summing things up. They reminded me a little bit about each of the previous chapters, and it also worked as great link to Petunia's story. I noticed that you wrote this chapter in third person. Maybe there is a special reason for this, but whatever it may be, it worked really well.

Dudley's family and Petunia's feelings towards her grandsons was very believable! I guess she'll spoil them the way she always spoiled Dudley, and that they can do nothing wrong in her eyes. Even though the part with the Dursleys is quite short, it paints a really clear picture of their lives at this time, which I really enjoyed to read. It didn't just tell us about the Dursleys, but a little bit about the Potters as well. I think that their Christmas card hinted that they have a really lovely family life (which is exactly was Harry deserved). Even though you only described them in a photo, it seemed like Harry and Lily shared a special bond that was so, so sweet! :')

It was very sad and very touching to see how much little Lily affected Petunia. This right here:

"And while others said the little girl was the spitting image of her mother and her Weasley uncles, while some claimed the little girl had her fatherís thoughtful frown and the rueful will of the Potters, Petunia Dursley looked at her and all she saw was Evans.

Evans in the quizzical tilt of her head. Evans in the softness of her hair. Evans in her thin face. Evans in her bright glow, emanating throughout the picture and warmly melting all that it touched."

It was such a perfect description of Petunia's feelings! And the little detail of their father teaching Petunia and Lily to leave a share of their tea for the angels... Petunia sticking to that tradition - Lily's share - was absolutely beautiful and I actually teared up when I read it. It served as both a perfectly discrete way of saying that she did mourn her sister and that she still missed her - I don't really see Petunia blurting it out, so it was perfect! - and as the perfect ending to a really, really well-written, beautiful, captivating and thoroughly moving story! You should be really proud over what you have accomplished here. I don't know if I can explain how much I loved this, and I really just want to thank you for writing it and sharing it. My favourite chapter was the one with Flitwick, but each one was really perfect, and even though they were seperate, they were still tied together in a way. I absolutely love The Girl From Slytherin, but I think it was this story that brought me to the conclusion that you are one of my top favourite authors on HPFF. Even though I'm sad that this one is over, I look forward to reading everything else that you'll write (especially The Girl from Slytherin!!). Keep up the wonderful work, and be very proud of yourself and your writing! :)

Author's Response: Hello again!!

I'm so sad this story is over too!! Who knows though, I feel like I might get more bursts of inspiration for it and add more chapters someday, but for now it feels nice to set it as Completed! :P

I'm glad you liked the articles!! Since this chapter jumps so far forward in time I thought they would be a good way to transition into Petunia. Also, she's really separate and probably would have been avoiding any news from the wizarding world. I think the seperation between Petunia's bit and the others was my motivation for writing it in third person, and also I just couldn't imagine writing her in first person, I don't think I understand her well enough! :P I actually wrote this chapter before writing Firenze, and it just felt natural to have it in 3rd and past tense, so I'm really glad that it worked and fit in with the rest of the chapters. Oh, and I wanted to mirror JKR's original style in writing the Dursleys a little, so hopefully that came across OK! :)

Aww, yeah I figured the Dursleys would spoil their grandsons even worse than Dudley, since they are such static and consistent characters in their stubbornness. It was important to me that Petunia was surrounded by more boys, too, to make her feelings for Lily even more relevant! I totally wanted Harry to have a lovely family life and really imagined him doting on his kids, especially Lily. He does deserve it! :) I'm so happy to hear you liked how the two families came across!

I'm so glad you liked that description! It was a bit of a redemptive moment for Petunia, and I think that while she never could warm to Harry, her affection for little Lily would show that she did mourn her sister while still retaining her selfish personality.

Thank you so, so much for all your lovely comments and support on this story!! I loved it, and your feedback and praise has really helped my confidence in it. I'm really honoured that you like these stories to much, and trust me when I say how it really does mean a lot to me!! :) So thank you!!!


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Review #41, by marauder5 Stan Shunpike

9th May 2013:
I really liked this chapter! Stan is another character that we don't get to see that much of in the books, so it's definitely interesting to read about him! It also makes it even more impressive that you managed to capture the essence of his character so well, and I absolutely think that writing this in his accent adds to that and makes it even better. You found a very nice balance, there: if you had overdone the accent thing, it might have disrupted the flow and made it quite hard to understand (especially for someone like me, who's not a native English speaker!), but you've successfully avoided that and just added the perfect amount of accent into his thoughts. As a result, it was a really good touch that made this chapter stand out! :)

I think that the plot of this chapter is really good as well. It was great to get an insight on Stan's thoughts, and I really like the fact that you don't write it as if the Wizarding World automatically became perfect after Voldemort's death. The new guards of Azkaban is one example of that, and Stan's fate is another. It showed a darker version of this time than the ones I've read before!

This story is pure brilliance, and this chapter is not an exception. My only criticism would be the part about Umbridge. I realise that her involvement is vital for the actual plot, and that she represents the corrupt side of it all, but I really can't see that happening. Would they let her be Head Witch of Wizengamot? Never. I don't believe it. But it works well in this story, and I guess that everyone's head canon is different ;) Nonetheless, I am once again astonished by your writing skill, your talent with words and, like I've said before, they way you capture your characters' voices flawlessly. And you've put up another chapter already! I can't wait to read that one too! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Yay, I'm really happy you liked this chapter! I really loved writing it, but wasn't too sure about the final result. Especially with regards to the accent: it's great to hear that it didn't come across as too strong and that it contributed to the voice in the story. :)

I'm glad you liked the darkness of this chapter and of this story's portrayal of the wizarding world! Even though Stan is in a court of justice and is supposed to be getting a fair trial, the wizarding world is so corrupt and unfair to people like him who weren't powerful or influential.

That's such a good point about Umbridge! My idea was that she managed to sweet-talk, swindle and threaten her way back into power, which I can totally see her doing as she always seems to pick the winning side and employ questionable methods, and this would add to the unfairness and hypocrisy of the whole thing. I might add in a part to the story where an angry spectator calls out something about Umbridge's power manipulation to make it fit with canon a bit better! :)

Thank you so much for this lovely review, as always!!! :D You're just too awesome!!!


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Review #42, by MissMdsty Firenze

8th May 2013:
I am a sucker for mythology and the centaurs are some of my favorite creatures!

The descriptions of the night sky and everything that came to pass between the constellations was very well written. The whole tone of this piece with Firenze and his brothers was very fitting and you captured their proud and independent nature perfectly. I also liked how you called the night sky a "she". It brings forth the point that the sky is a living, breathing entity and we are just small pieces in the whole puzzle.

I was not expecting the centaurs to rebel and kill the wizard and Firenze. It was unexpected but somehow I feel that any other ending wouldn't have done these creatures justice.

Another beautiful piece and I complement you on your writing skills!

Author's Response: Hello again! I love mythology and centaurs too, and exploring their nature in the HP verse a little deeper was a lot of fun for me to write!

It's so good to hear that you liked the descriptions. The main thing I knew about centaurs from HP was their knowledge of divination and constellations, so I felt like it was a good way to begin getting into Firenze's head. The tone was also very important so it's wonderful to know that you liked it. I love your description of being small entities under the living sky: that's beautiful, and certainly what I was hoping to convey. I think Firenze would understand it, but proud and angry Bane wouldn't be able to see it.

I guess I wanted to convey that not all was fine and dandy after Voldy's defeat, and that other groups would take the chance to rise up against wizards. I'm glad you liked the ending: giving the death order was painful, but I definitely felt like the story needed to end that way, like you said.

Thank you so much for another really kind and thoughtful review, I really appreciate it!!! :)


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Review #43, by MissMdsty Thanatos Nott

8th May 2013:
Hello dear, I'm here with your requested review!

I loved this first chapter for so many reasons! First, it was written impeccably. Everything flowed so well, the narrative just tied in together, the grammar and spelling were perfect.

Secondly, I loved the name you chose for the elder Nott. Thanatos is the Greek name for the demon that personified death and this name for a Death Eater is very fitting. He not only brought about the death of so many innocent people, he killed something within his son as well. The childhood innocence, the peace and serenity that he recalls so well from when he was little. There must have been a reason for his son to change sides and deep down inside he knows it.

I also loved that you didn't completely strip him of his humanity. The Death Eaters were people as well. They were parents, children, siblings, aunts and uncles. We saw this before in Narcissa and again here with this OC. In the end, a child is more important than the cause.

Andromeda's reaction was so raw and beautifully written, it made me feel her pain, in the few words she spoke. You brought to life this torn woman, widowed and left without her only child, left to care for a grandson too young to remember his parents.

All in all, I loved this first chapter and I can't wait to see what else you've got! Great job!

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the chapter. The compliments on the writing style made me very happy, so thank you!

Ah, it's great to hear you picked up on the name. I was researching a first name for Mr. Nott and once I stumbled upon Thanatos it just felt right and I couldn't imagine him called anything else. I love your observation about killing something within his son, that's just a perfect way of putting what I was trying to convey with this chapter.

I definitely agree with Death Eaters needing to be dimensional and have softer sides as well! That was probably the most interesting part of getting into Nott's head for me. It's just too bad he couldn't have realized it sooner.

I'm really happy you enjoyed and were moved by Andromeda! She's such a tragic character, and had to deal with so much loss, so it's good to hear that she came across alright.

Thank you so much for this thoughtful review, it was really lovely!! :)


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Review #44, by HeyMrsPotter Stan Shunpike

7th May 2013:
Hello! I was really exited to see you had added a new chapter to this, it's quickly becoming my favourite story on here!
I love that you're writing chapters from minor characters' POVs, and using them to explain the changes in the Wizarding world after the war, like using Stan in this chapter to tell the reader how Azkaban has changed.
I'm glad that you decided to tone down the cockney dialect for Stan's inner monologue, what you wrote on the forums was really strong and I think it would have been difficult to read but this was perfect. It amazes me that you managed to describe the scene and the emotions perfectly using Stan's voice and yet keep him in character, he's not the most intelligent person after all!
The only thing that I picked up on here in terms of CC is that if you're trying to stick to cannon, Umbridge was actually sent to Azkaban herself for her hate crimes against muggle-borns. Though she does work well in this chapter.
Other than that, another fantastic chapter!

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so happy that you're enjoying this story, I really love working on it and it's so reassuring to get such positive feedback. I'm glad you liked Stan's story! :)

Ok, I'm really glad to hear you thought the dialect was suitable because I was worrying a bit about it! I actually really liked getting in his head, and I've grown rather attached to him since, haha!

Excellent point about Umbridge! My idea is that she managed to swindle herself out of getting in trouble and back into power by doing her combination of threatening, blackmailing and "charming" people. I think I'll add in a clarifying note about that to the story. It might show too how justice really isn't fair in the corrupt Ministry. Do you think that would work better? :)

Thank you so much for this lovely and helpful review!! The next chapter is in the queue and switches things up a little, I hope you get a chance to read it, and enjoy it! :D


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Review #45, by patronus_charm Firenze

27th April 2013:
Tag!

I don't think I mentioned it in the last review but I really liked the Apres Voldemort it's a really nice touch :)

I have never read anything from a Centaur's perspective before, but after reading this I may give it a chance. It was just so centaurish with him viewing humans as similar yet different, then the frequent references to astronomy. It added something really special and authentic to the story.

I really enjoyed reading all the little details you included about the forest as it added something to the story, and it created excellent imagery. You could just imagine that you were there and walking through the forest as Firenze, and it was just excellent.

I also liked how you showed his meeting with Bane and it was interesting that you included Centaur social dynamics into the story too, as it gave you a sense of how their society worked.

What? Firenze has a dark mark? I never expected that, but at the same time it makes perfect sense. That scene with him and the 'foal' was excellently done and the emotions they were all feeling were really well written.

For a few CC's I know you have large gaps between the paragraphs but sometimes they went a bit larger than the norm so I thought I might just point that out. Other than that it was a really enjoyable chapter :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for coming back to review this story!!

I'm glad you thought the centaur-ness was portrayed well. I loved getting into Firenze's head, and keeping true to character while adding to what it would be like to be a centaur like Firenze was really important to me! :)

It's wonderful to hear you liked the details of the forest, and that the scene was brought to life. Also, I'm happy to hear the social workings of the centaur herd was successful in coming across!

Woops, maybe I didn't write the Dark Mark part clearly enough! I meant that the boy/"foal" had a Dark Mark, and that Firenze was forced to expose it to the other centaurs. My bad! :) I'm glad you enjoyed that scene however, I really hoped to get across the desperation and fear that they would be experiencing.

Thank you so much for this lovely review!!! :)


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Review #46, by thebakingravenclaw Filius Flitwick

26th April 2013:
I stumbled upon this story on accident, but I am more than gad that I did. While I have found many well written stories, this story is perhaps the most impressive,well written, and wonderful fanfic I have ever read. Your writing is superb, and I find it quite obvious that you are a remarkably talented author. Additionally, the concept of this story is extremely interesting and I have really enjoyed reading it. update soon, please :)

Author's Response: Hello!! Thank you so much for this lovely, lovely review. It means a lot to me to read your kind words, and I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this story. I'm working on the next chapter now, so hopefully it will be up soon. Again, thank you, this really made my day :)

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Review #47, by ChaosWednesday Firenze

24th April 2013:
Hey it's Whiskey here for review swap :)

Well, first off I must say the writing is impeccable! I could tell you worked on picking the right words, and I was happy to see that you didn't over-do the dramatic/esoteric tone associated with centaurs, but instead sprinkled it into the narrative when necessary. Good job on style, I really enjoyed it :)

I would say that the scene with the unicorn was my favourite. Not only because - unicorns (*yay*) XD. But because of this sentence: "But something about the wood sprites reminds me of locusts swarming over a rotting body, and with a small shudder I turn away and walk on." I think that this little inner conflict really defines the entire story. Firenze is between two worlds, and he can belong to neither fully. On the one hand, he is a centaur, a nature-bound and intuitive creature that should not have been bothered by the similarity of the unicorn's body to somethign decaying and filthy - that's just nature, after all. But he is also human, and cannot help his desire to structure the world based on morals and civilizational ideals. I like how you pull this theme through not only to his character, but to the future of the wizarding world and to the "traitor" boy that gets caught by the centaurs, as well as the obvious conflicts among the centaur pack.

I enjoyed how you connected the greyness of everyone's alliance to the feeling of change, as shown by the skies and grieving forest. It makes sense, since, I suppose, change must come when opposites are no longer opposites. Also, your choice to have the centaurs bounce back from the war with more aggression makes sense. It makes more sense than everyone just being so happy its over that they would allow no more conflict. WWII came from the bitterness left by WWI, after all. Someone will always feel like they lost more than they should have. Your story paints a unique new AU apocylptic scenario where wizards must face the consequences of having oppressed a massive amount of the magical population for centuries. Rogue bands of house elves? Sounds like fun stuff, got me inspired haha

Let's see, I did have a few comments, though. For example, when Bane says: "Entertaining foolish notions of diplomacy and civilization..." I felt like that was a slightly forced thing to say. While "diplomacy" can be used with a negative connotation (mostly meaning lying and manipulating), civilization really can't. As Bane was speaking to a group of his own and organizing them into a unified force based on certain political or ideological beliefs... well, he too was entertaining notions of civilization. You know what I mean? Either you need to explain what civilization means to him ("and falling for a false, greedy civilization!" or something :P), or you need a different word. What is it that he hates about the wizards? Their disrespect for nature? Maybe their selfishness and individualism? Their abuse of others? There are plenty examples in our own history to draw inspiration from, i'm sure ;) And I know it may seem like i'm nitpicking here, but honestly, it's these little thigns that make a conflict either back and white, or grey and nuanced :)

And one more tiny thing: the Dark Mark on the boy. I know that sidestepping cannon is what fanfic is for, but I thought that Draco was an exception and that, usually, Voldy didn't recruit schoolkids? Maybe the boy could have a Slytherin scarf or something else that would undeniably identify him as a traitor? After all, he does admit it himself that he switched sides at some point, so mabye you don't need the mark?

Well, I think that's it! Great story, I'm glad I clicked on it :)

Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hello!! Thank you so much for checking out my story and for leaving such a thoughtful and insightful review. I really appreciate it!! :)

Thank you for your lovely compliments on the story: it's really good to hear that you enjoyed the tone and thought it suited the centaurs. I really thought that the time after the war would be not only of rejoicing and healing, but also of conflict, and figured that groups such as the centaurs had probably reached their breaking point and saw this as a good time to strike now that the common enemy with the wizards (Voldy) had been eliminated.

Haha, I just couldn't write a trip into the Forest without a mention of unicorns... even if it was dying. :(

I'm so glad you liked that line about the unicorn, it was one of my favourites as well. Firenze is such an interesting character because, as you said, he's suspended between the human and animal worlds even more so than other centaurs. While centaurs live in the natural world, they do indeed have many attributes of humanity: acknowledgement of their selves as unique, for one. I imagined centaurs as being a more... well, not primitive, but pre-liberal/Enlightenment kind of civilization, in which the identity of the group is more important than the individual. Firenze challenges this by making his own decisions and going against the will of the herd, and I imagined Bane fearing him because of this power.

Those are such excellent comments about the word choice of diplomacy and civilization!! I've been brainstorming to think of some better ones which embody more strongly the sense of detachment from humanity that centaurs feel yet their own insistence of being a special, strong group. Above all, Bane hides his irrationality well and is a dangerous leader for a bereaved group. Maybe that humans impose rule on the centaurs, who are a separate nation within the jurisdiction of the wizards. I'm thinking along the lines of First Nations conflicts within North America at the moment, but will definitely work on that, so thank you for your help. :)

I gave the boy a Dark Mark because it fits with my novel that I'm writing and this story can be seen as existing within the same canon. But I can certainly see how that could seem a bit off, and will consider re-working it. :)

Thank you so much for such a helpful review!!! :D


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Review #48, by HeyMrsPotter Filius Flitwick

24th April 2013:
3 brilliant chapters. This one is by far my favourite though. It works excellently from Flitwicks POV rather than Filch, much more poignant. I loved the references to Grace throughout, especially her place on the fountain. Honestly, I could review every single word of this, it's perfect! Really looking forward to the next part.

Ever so slight nitpick though, the battle of Hogwarts took place in May, so this would be 4 months AV as you put it ;)

Author's Response: I'm so thrilled that you stuck with the story and liked it so far. The Flitwick chapter was my favourite as well, though it was the hardest to write. Someday, however, I will have to write about Filch, he's just too funny not to. :P

Thank you so much for such kind and considerate words, it's very encouraging and exiting for me! It's great to hear you liked the focus on Grace and how Flitwick's feelings are embodied through her memory.

Haha, well that's what I get for not checking facts properly!! :P Thanks for pointing that out, and thanks for such lovely reviews!!! :)


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Review #49, by HeyMrsPotter Thanatos Nott

24th April 2013:
This is hauntingly beautiful!
Very very well written!
I saw your update on the forums and never usually click them but so glad I did this time. Can't wait to read more! Job very very very well done.

Author's Response: Hello, thank you so much for checking out my story!!! :) It's so lovely to hear that you enjoyed it, the story is a bit of a work in progress but is very close to my heart!! Thank you :D

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Review #50, by Crescent Moon  Filius Flitwick

23rd April 2013:
I've been meaning to read this for quite a while and I've finally got round to it (much to the displeasure of my revision).
I love your writing style, it's so different from most on this site which is really nice and refreshing.
You've made me really start to think about what would actually happen after the Battle of Hogwarts. All of the stuff with the Bane and Firenze, I'd never even thought about something similar.
I really can't wait to see who's point of view you're going to write about next.

Author's Response: Hi there, well I'm so glad you stopped by! HPFF > revision any day (though don't tell the essay I should be working on I said so).

I'm so glad you liked the events after the Battle. I felt that things wouldn't be all peaceful and happy, and it made sense somehow for the centaurs to seize their moment and act on the tension that brews between them throughout all the HP books. I loved writing Flitwick as well.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful review!! :)


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