Reading Reviews for Traitorous Hearts
  
97 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Didi An Unwelcome Visitor

29th March 2014:
Oooh, I just discovered this, and I have to say, I LOVE the tone, the voice. I love how they speak as if they're on Downton Abbey (but a lot more sinister) despite the fact that it is modern day; it seems so perfectly pureblood.

Astoria seems like such an interesting character, all intelligent and filled with secrets, just like her mother.

I have never read a Draco/Astoria before, but this seems like it's going to get really interesting! :)

Author's Response: Why HELLO!

I'm very glad to hear that you've discovered it! And I'm excited that you like it. I enjoy writing the tone in that sort of old, high class style. I figured that Pureblood wizards would be like that--very formal, a little bit stuck in the past. I mean, regular wizards are running around using candles and quills and carriages, so if you pride yourselves on being, for lack of a better term, the wizardy-est, then I figure you do them one better and retain outdated speech patterns. Plus, I do love that cold, sinister element that you mention.

And I'm kind of biased, but I do think it gets pretty interesting. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

--Penny


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Review #27, by Remus The Lady of Greengrass Hall

28th March 2014:
I'm here!! :D

I really liked Lavinia's characterization. She sounds like a proper lady, but at the same time she seems to get a bit tired of being a proper lady. By the way, the name Lavinia, is that from Downton Abbey? I just always thought this was a very unique name. And wow, she met quite an end!!

Woah, hold up! So basically Levania spied because she was technically 1)bored and 2) restricted by her gender? NICE! And lastly, she got killed by another Death Eater?! What?! Who?! Will we know at the end of this?

GAH! Astoria is taking matters into her own hands. I really like this plot. It's different from any other ones that I've read. They're usually very cliche when it comes to both Draco and Astoria but your Astoria seems to be strong in her own accord. And a spy, whether she's a novice or not, a spy nonetheless. I can't imagine how she'll help bring down Voldemort.

Is this happening while Harry is away at his camping trip, right? Haha! I love to read Hogwarts stories when they take during Harry's 7th year. They're, for me, like behind the scenes while Harry was away.

Anyway! I'm adding this story to my faves! :D

--Rosie

Author's Response: Yay! Delighted to have you here. :D I just posted my review of your chapter.

That's a very accurate summation of Lavinia's character. "A proper lady who gets a bit tired of being a proper lady." I like it.

I didn't actually get the name from Downton Abbey. Is there a character named Lavinia on Downton Abbey? Everyone tells me that I should watch that show, and that I'd love it, but they've taken it off Netflix, so I'm just out of luck for now. I actually named Lavinia after a character I wrote for a theatre assignment where I had to write a scene in the style of Tennessee Williams. They weren’t really alike, as characters, but I liked the name and when I was trying to assign one to her character, that was the moniker that floated up from the depths of my mind.

Yup. There you have the majority of Lavinia's motivation. Thanks so much! Lavinia is pretty complicated. I wanted to explore a character who was a "bad guy", but you could understand her reasons for "turning to the dark side", so to speak. As far as whether or not you will learn who exactly killed her, and why...well, I am not in the habit of making assurances.

However, I will tell you that those are questions that Astoria certainly wants answered. And Astoria IS rather good at getting information when she wants it... ; )

Thanks. There is a huge smile on my face. I am so happy that you like the plot. I have tried to mix things up a little bit. Astoria is definitely strong. And as to how to give Voldemort some trouble, well, she definitely has some plans to that end.

Yes! This is happening during DH, and I'm really impressed that you caught that, because most people have had trouble nailing down the time in the first couple chapters (which is my fault, for not making it clearer. But still, you're obviously a careful reader). And you're in luck then, because, especially later in this story, you'll get a pretty extensive behind-the-scenes view.

Oh my goodness, thank you! I feel so honored! And thank you for your sweet, thoughtful review. I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter!

--Penny


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Review #28, by FawkesFelicis A Changing Tide

26th March 2014:
I have rarely been so impressed with a single chapter. You are a artist. Your vocabulary is exquisite and your careful tension and resolution of each scene is masterful. I hope that you continue to show your incredible talent in the chapters to come! I would be honored if you would read my fic, Foreign Affairs, if you have the time and inclination. The first chapters need heavy revision, but I would love your insight on the rest of my story. No pressure though! Just really respect you as an author. You could seriously publish if you wanted to!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this beautifully kind review. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. And thanks :) I'd really like to publish my work someday. That's why I'm here--because I like celebrating things I enjoy, like HP, and because I really want to hone my craft. But it means a lot to me that you think I could.

As far as your story, yes, I'll try to take a look at it. It's been crunch time for me lately, academically, so I'm going to add it to my reading list and try to chip away at it when I can. I see that it's a Dramione, and I always enjoy those! However, if you notice that I've forgotten or anything (I can be silly and distracted that way) feel free to PM me.

Thank you again. And good luck with your writing!

--Penny


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Review #29, by a reader A Changing Tide

26th March 2014:
this story is really excellent, I'm really enjoying it so far, it's always refreshing to see a portrayal of astoria where she's got a brain! and draco as a human and a deatheater!
I'm a little confused on the timeline of this story though, why isn't astoria at hogwarts if it's spring of 1998?
I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

Oh, wow. I see what you mean. I understand why you'd be confused--that's my fault. I think it only really explains the time thing in the italics in the first chapter. It *is* spring of '98, during Deathly Hallows. Astoria is home for of Easter holidays. Her interview with Draco takes place a few days before Harry and the gang get caught and taken to Malfoy Manor. But yeah, I can totally see the confusion with the timeline. My bad. Thanks for pointing it out! I'll definitely have to go in and try to clear that up.

Also, so glad that you're enjoying the story! *I* can't wait for you to read more, either. Posting a new chapter is my favorite :D Apart from getting kind reviews like this one, of course. That's lots of fun, too!

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review!

--Penny


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Review #30, by FawkesFelicis A Dangerous Revelation

24th March 2014:
Hmm, smart move on Ginny's part to leave it hanging, smart of you as a writer! I like the format you're using, switching between time periods is hard to do!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! Ginny's a smart cookie...er, biscuit? Do the British have their own idiom for that? I don't know. But yes. I wanted to set it up so that it's clear that, unlike many people, Ginny is someone who can go head to head with Astoria, someone who is on her level. I wanted Astoria to respect Ginny, to some extent, but Astoria's respect doesn't come free. Ginny had to earn it. She's a lot sharper than Astoria generally expects Gryffindors to be (she is a Slytherin, after all. Bit of prejudice there).

I'm glad you like the format. Switching between time periods *is* hard, but I felt it was necessary to keep all the parlor scenes from getting stuffy. I don't like to stay in the same place too long. And so long as people are still interested and not distracted, I guess it's doing its job!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I appreciate your taking the time.

--Penny



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Review #31, by FawkesFelicis The Lady of Greengrass Hall

24th March 2014:
Why does she want to send a message to the Order? Revenge? She seemed undecided at first, but I guess her motives have little to do with the movement. She's a complex character!

Author's Response: Hmmm, why DOES she want to? Well, you certainly do find that out, although Astoria's motives may be much more clouded than she herself initially believes. You're right in that her motives don't have much to do with the resistance movement itself. But how involved will she become? And what will she do with the information she has? So many questions!

Astoria is definitely a complex character, and there's a lot more of that to be detangled in future chapters.

Thanks for the R&R!

--Penny


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Review #32, by FawkesFelicis An Unwelcome Visitor

24th March 2014:
Wow! Great start, I love your tone. You obviously have a command of your "voice". I will certainly continue reading!

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad to hear that you're liking the tone, and I appreciate that. And I am DELIGHTED that you enjoyed chapter 1 enough to want to keep reading! Thank you.

--Penny


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Review #33, by ShadowRose The Stolen Truth

16th March 2014:
Hello!

Oh gosh, I think this chapter is my favourite so far. We see such a different side of Astoria - she loses her calm, cool, collected demeanour, and finally lets her emotions show. It really speaks volumes about her character in that the only time she really gets emotional is when talking about her family. When her father comes up in conversation, her reaction is so beautifully strong, and it really shows how Astoria is struggling with h er father's condition.

I still really like your portrayal of Draco, as bad of a person as he may be. Like Astoria, he's remarkably good at reading people, and knows exactly how to find Astoria's weak spot. He's a bit ruthless, but there's also a hint of something else there - a touch of sympathy maybe? Let's just hope that stays there with all that he's just found out. I really love the detail of Draco being a Legilimens, because it's something I don't think I've ever seen anyone else do before, but it certainly seems like something the Dark Lord would require of his interrogators.

What a cruel twist of fate, that the Weasleys were spied on by a twisted version of their own invention. I love that little detail that ends up incriminating Astoria, because I think there's a whole lot of irony in that.

There are little buds, mostly on Draco's side, of some sort of attraction, and I can only hope that that'll develop more as the story goes along. Regardless, thats about the only way Astoria will be saved from being reported to the Dark Lord - if Draco somehow finds his heart in all of this.

I've absolutely adored reading this story so far. You've created such an intricate storyline in only five chapters, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 16/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey Taylor!

Oh! I'm so excited that you enjoyed the chapter :D

I really do love the section where Astoria sort of loses it. It was fun to have a small break in the midst of all that tension. You're absolutely correct--it says a lot about Astoria that the only thing that can make her show vulnerability is her family. They are a really big driving force for her actions.

Draco's definitely ruthless--much like Astoria. But she, at least, definitely has a softer side, even if it's fairly well hidden. As for his sympathy, there does seem to be a touch of it there. Whether that actually has an effect on his actions at this point, well...I suppose the next chapter would tell that. I'm glad you liked the Legilimency detail. I figured that we knew that Draco was particularly good at Occlumency, so it made sense that he would have learned how to read minds as well. And it really would be a pretty key piece of criteria for a Death Eater interrogator.

Yep. The Extendable Ear bit was kind of cruelly ironic, huh? I guess I have a fairly dark sense of humor, because I did like that little ring of irony. It's sad. But hey, the twins really made it! Even Voldemort appreciates their craftmanship.
...Not an endorsement that you'd include in the brochure? Well, fair enough.

Buds of attraction are definitely there, particularly for Draco, as you say. But will those buds come to fruition IS the question. As far as that goes, well, a large part of that question might be answered in the new chapter, which is up now, if you're interested.

Thank you so much for reading, and for your sweet, thoughtful reviews. I really appreciate hearing what you have to say about the story, and the time you've taken to write thorough responses! Thanks again!

--Penny



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Review #34, by ShadowRose The Malediction Perfidious

16th March 2014:
Hi Penelope!

I've actually noticed as I've been reading that you actually switch up your writing style a little bit as you write - your flashbacks, which aren't all that tense, have a more flowing style, while the present conversation with Draco has a shorter, choppier style. It's actually really great because it captures the current mood of each situation and helps the reader feel the environment of the story.

The way Draco's written in this story is great - he's constantly acting like he's so far above Astoria, because he's a Death Eater and older than her, and so acts in a way to make her feel smaller. For example, when he's commenting on his Dark Mark, and you compare him to an old man, and then he makes the "hideous" comment, both of which make it seem like he's trying to sound so much older and wiser than he is. But Astoria knows how to stand her own and combat that, as shown in her comment at the end of that section "I'd not concern yourself with it. We all have scars, Mr. Malfoy."

I can't believe that Astoria's mother would put a curse that horrible on her own daughter - but I guess in the secret business one must do anything to keep their identity a secret. I definitely see where her conflicted feelings stem from - her mother's always been so close to her, but yet, her mother pit this horrible curse on her as well.

Gosh, and I really love how you've written Ginny. She's strong-willed and powerful, but also caring. She's smart enough to communicate secretly, and I love the fact that she's sneaking WWW products into the school - carrying on the Weasley tradition now that she's the only one of ten left at Hogwarts.

This was another really great chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 15/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey Taylor!

Working on answering all these! Sorry it's taken me so long. I've never had so many reviews--the blackout bingo left me with several, and my computer had been broken, so when I finally got it fixed I checked my review count and was just like, woah! And I was also working on finishing the edits for chapter 6, which I just put in the queue last night. But please forgive me for taking so long in answering your lovely reviews. I really, truly appreciate them!

Oh hey! I've definitely been trying to create different moods for the different parts of the story. I don't think I ever consciously adjusted the structure, but I did try to create a different feeling with the way I wrote, and I'm really, really excited that that has apparently come across!

You're absolutely right about Draco. He does try to project a more mature, worldly persona. And, to a certain extent, it's real. He has been through more than most people his age. In truth, he's seen more horrors than Astoria. But she holds her own, too, as you point out, because she's been through far more than he knows. And you're right--she definitely uses that comment, and her own sort of jadedness, to beat him at his own game.

I was sort of nervous when writing the bit about Lavinia's curse. I was surprised by how much readers took to her character, and was like, "Oh boy..." because I knew this was coming. However, she's a complicated woman, for sure. And she didn't do anything without reasons. Of course, there's always the possibility that it wasn't Lavinia at all. Astoria thinks it was. It looks like it was. But I won't make any promises. Basically, I'm trying to say it's good that you're considering the various possible background factors, because whether or not she did it, and if she did, why--well, those facts could all make a big difference, couldn't they? But you're right about how it's made Astoria feel. The important thing right now is the truth as she knows and suspects it, and she's been betrayed. That definitely makes her feel very conflicted in regards to Lavinia, which is hard because, as you say, she looked up to her mother so much.

Yay! Thank you! I love Ginny, and I really wanted to get her right here. I'm glad that you liked how she came across.

Thanks so much for your kind words. I really enjoy hearing your thoughts on the story!

--Penny


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Review #35, by ShadowRose A Dangerous Revelation

15th March 2014:
Hello, I'm back again!

Astoria's definitely got a lot to deal with - what with Draco interviewing her heavily in order to clear her whole family. That's a whole lot of pressure on her shoulders, but I feel like she'll at least be able to handle herself and come up with relatively decent answers, despite her "traitorous" behaviors.

I like how you've portrayed Ginny here - you've certainly captured her personality in that seventh book, showing how much she's hardened because of the war. She's definitely suspicious of Astoria, and she has absolutely no reason not to. But she's got a level head on her shoulders and is much more willing to listen than most people, but still thinks through the proposition before making any action, which shows that she definitely knows what she's doing. Props for Astoria for knowing who to go to.

This is another great chapter - I love learning more about Astoria and I think you're doing a wonderful job writing her!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 14/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing Ginny. And that spin on her--how she's hardened by her circumstances--was something I really wanted to capture. It means a lot that you think I did!

Plus, writing those two together is just so fun!

Thank you again!

--Penny


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Review #36, by ShadowRose The Lady of Greengrass Hall

15th March 2014:
Hi, I'm back again for the next chapter!

I really love Lavinia's backstory that you have going here. She's definitely a woman that seems stuck in her situation, with the pureblood descent and expectations that she stay in the house and not get involved in the workforce, but she makes the most out of it and guarantees that she is still doing something useful, despite her position. And she proves to be very good at it, too. I'd be intrigued to know who killed her and why they wanted to do so - she certainly would have a lot of enemies, but I'd love to know exactly why.

Astoria continues to be a great character as well - she's so sneaky and doesn't show much of herself to Draco, as she should. She's great at keeping a secret and putting up a front, much like her mother did. She keeps her own interests at heart, but doesn't like to let people know what she's thinking either - she's definitely a closed book. She's such a strong character, and I really like her so far.

I really like the combination of both points of view - it really shows just how much Astoria is like her mother since they're presented side by side. I love how loyal Astoria is too, in that she's turning agains the Death Eaters because of what happened to her mother - I can't wait to see exactly how that turns out.

This was another really enjoyable chapter - great job!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 13/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Yay! I really enjoy seeing Lavinia get some love. I'm surprised by how much people have taken to her. I'm glad that people have been able to sympathize with her, even though she was on the wrong side. Would you like to know who killed her? Hmmm...perhaps you shall. ;)

I'm also glad that you like Astoria, even though she is a "closed book". That's been one of the harder parts about writing this story--coming up with a way to make Astoria complicated and likable, despite the fact that, what with all her secret keeping, it takes a while to learn much about her.

Astoria is VERY loyal to family. It's a motivating factor for her in most of her decisions, for sure. And she is very like her mother. Lavinia groomed her for that. But it's also good to think about how she's different, as the story goes on. Astoria's spent a long time trying to live up to her mother's example. Can she find it within herself to do something different?

Thanks for the R&R and your kind words! It's very encouraging!

--Penny


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Review #37, by ShadowRose An Unwelcome Visitor

15th March 2014:
Hello Penelope! I've been meaning to check out something of yours, and this Blackout Bingo seems like the perfect opportunity for that!

I really love that you've started this story with a flashback, because it really helps set the scene and show some influences on Astoria's life before we even meet Astoria herself. Her mother seems like an interesting character, so now I'm intrigued to know what happened to her, the incident Astoria refers to throughout the chapter.

I like Astoria's character - she's very attentive to detail and manipulative when she needs to be, but she also has a softer side that she hides as well, like her conflicting opinion of the Death Eaters and her natural kindness to Filly that she has to repress in front of Draco. I really love the line "As far as she was concerned, it was green for Greengrass--that was where her loyalties lay. The rest of it could go straight to -," because it clearly shows her values, which are her family above anything else.

I also like your portrayal of Draco. You've showed how his Death Eater activities have taken a toll on him through physical description but through his dialogue he's definitely trying to maintain a semblance of coolness and cynicism known for the Death Eaters, and more specifically, the Malfoys. I'm actually really intrigued to know what he's hiding - obviously there's something big that he's trying to hide, since he had to set up this formal meeting.

I also really like your writing style - it's very detailed and shows clear thoughts on both your part and Astoria's, and the reader can really picture the scene fully. And with a plot as intriguing as this one is shaping up to be, that's definitely something I'm grateful for.

Overall, this was a really great start and I'm excited to see where you godwits this story - it already has so much potential!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 12/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor! I'm really glad that you stopped by to check out Traitorous Hearts!

I'm really glad that you like the opening flashback. I was really nervous about that when I posted the chapter, because I hadn't tried anything like it before, but the past is very important to this story, so it seemed like a good place to begin.

You've really caught on to a lot of Astoria's character traits in the first chapter. Maybe more than anyone else, at least from what I've seen in reviews. Bravo! And I'm glad you like how Draco is portrayed here. If you keep reading, you'll definitely see some cracks in his plaster. Everyone's got weaknesses, and everyone has secrets.

Thank you very much! You're very kind.

I really appreciate your taking time to Read and Review. Thanks!

--Penny


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Review #38, by maraudertimes The Stolen Truth

14th March 2014:
Hi again!

Goodness gracious, what are you doing to me? I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm slightly happy. Okay, I'll start at the beginning.

Wow, I love this side of Draco. He's calm, cool, collected, but he knows how to interrogate someone. He can truly read someone through body language, not just through legilimens, which I think is a really good characteristic you've given him. It adds to the investigator personality.

The fact that he figured out that Astoria's family was a weak spot was amazing, and I wish Astoria could have figured out what he was doing, but I guess you win some, you lose some.

Astoria should have learned legilimens from her mother, definitely, but also how to keep a level head. She threw herself under the bus by reacting too strongly to questions about her family, although I did quite like how the only thing that actually got her to talk (sort of) was Draco going through her mind (not that I liked that, but it shows how resilient Astoria is).

The fact that Astoria realizes that her mother was too vain to believe that legilimens would ever save her because she believed she was too good to be caught was really cool and added so much to the story. We've never actually met her mother in the story (except for those flashback type moments), but I feel that if Draco were interrogating Mrs. Greengrass, she would be quite haughty and look down on him, thinking she was better than him.

Which is a good thing, since I can imagine your characters in different settings! Kudos to you!

Anyways, this was a great chapter and I hope you update soon because this is a truly magnificent story. Great job!
Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Round 3 Review 9/20

Author's Response: Allo!

Sigh. I, too, wish that Astoria could have caught on quicker. But she can't be entirely invulnerable, and he hit her in a place that's very hard to defend.

Draco was a bit brilliant there, wasn't he? If anything, they're well-matched opponents. Like you say, they both win some and lose some.

And I'd say Astoria keeps a level head in most cases. She *should* have known better than to react, but I think it's useful to remember that, daughter of a spy or not, she's still only 16. Not that 16 year-olds can't be brilliant and keep a cool head, because she is and she does, but there's still a part of her that's vulnerable and does have less life experience. Her family is her main weakness, which is an important thing to know.

Haha, good call on Lavinia! She'd definitely be haughty if she was in Astoria's place. She'd also probably be offended that they sent some young pup with the ink still drying on his Mark to interrogate her. Do they know who she is? No? Well that's because she's a SPY and a d*** good one, at that! So why doesn't he just enjoy a few biscuits and leave the intrigue and interrogations to the professionals, hmm?

...Now I can't stop imagining that scene, Lo ;)


I'm really glad that you enjoyed the chapter. New one should be up soon. Thanks for your thoughts--they were really fun to read!

--Penny











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Review #39, by maraudertimes The Malediction Perfidious

14th March 2014:
Hello! I have returned!

Wow, this was some kind of something. I really loved seeing what was happening through Draco's eyes. It was refreshing, but I loved how you quickly brought it back to Astoria. There's just something about her that I absolutely adore. But the fact that Draco seems to be forgetting what to pay attention to makes me a little bit hopeful about where this interrogation will lead.

The story about the scar is absolutely frightening, and I can't believe her mother would do something like that! I guess when dealing with the art of secrets, the art of cursing other isn't too far away though. But it was really sweet to see how Draco hated his mark, but Astoria never judged him, just related. I have a feeling that both of them have been through so much pain that no one else has been through, that eventually they'll have something in common.

The fact that Ginny was trafficking WWW products into Hogwarts during that time was possibly my favourite parts of this chapter. It's such a Weasley thing to do and I think you portrayed Ginny's character amazingly in that scene, where she tells Astoria that any rebellion gives people hope. Ginny's just such a lovely and amazing character and I'm so glad that your portrayal did her justice!

This is a great chapter and I'm very excited for the next. Keep updating so that I can keep reviewing (no matter how sporadic my reviews may be).

Lo:)

Gryffindor vs Slytherin Blackout Battle Round 3 Review 8/20

Author's Response: Hey Lo! Delighted to have you back!

Oh, good. I'm glad that the Draco POV was enjoyable, and was apparently not too long or too short.

Draco? Distracted? That doesn't seem very like him at all, does it? Hmm...why *could* that be... ;)

The scar bit is definitely a darker part of this story. But I did think it was necessary. It does give Astoria a connection to Draco, which I also like a lot. They both have scars, inside and out, that are kind of similar. But most importantly, it was needed for Astoria's character arc. Everything she did before now, she could attribute to her desire for revenge for her mother's death. But now that Lavinia has cursed her? She can't totally hate her mother, but she can't go out avenging her, either. Anything Astoria does now is something she does on her own, and she doesn't have revenge as a crutch to blame her better impulses on, which is crucial to her growth as a character.

But I'm glad you like that scar connection they have. I like it, too. :)

Draco and Astoria definitely have been through some similar situations. I think you're right that they'll find some things in common.

Heehee! I loved the bit about the WWW products, as well! Got to have a lighter side after all that doom and gloom, no? I love Ginny, too. I'm really happy that you thought I did her justice. I think Ginny is an awesome character. She'll be back around. She and Astoria are good foils for each other.

I definitely intend to keep updating. I'm in edits, and hopefully the new chapter will be in the queue this week! Thanks again for Reading and Reviewing!

--Penny


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Review #40, by nott theodore The Stolen Truth

13th March 2014:
Hello again!

Wow, I definitely didn't expect that either! I know that they still haven't left the parlour yet, but I'm impressed with how many twists and turns you've already managed to fit into this story without that happening. I never really know what to expect, but I'm so intrigued by the plan that you have for this story and the plot that I've seen so far!

Draco is so in character that it's amazing. You write him so well, all of his thoughts and even his mannerisms, the way that he approaches a situation and his dialogue too. I'm really impressed with that because he's someone I'd be scared to write more than a lot of other characters. The way that he interacts with Astoria is interesting, too. I liked his remembrance that she was only a girl, but to do his work he had to remind himself that she was just a year younger than him, so not really that young. There's some vulnerability there that could be exploited, I think ;)

I love Astoria in this story. She's so young but she's so determined to protect all of her family and do what she can to escape this, as well as already having done something to sabotage the Death Eaters. She's really admirable, and I felt so sorry for her as the line of questioning led to something that she couldn't have foreseen, and couldn't protect herself from! I'd have thought that her mother might have taught her Occlumency but now Draco knows her secret...

I have seen some sparks of possible attraction between the two of them, I think, especially on Draco's part in finding her attractive. I can only hope that she might be saved through a romance - the story is called Traitorous Hearts, after all!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 7/20

Author's Response: Heeheehee, thank you! The plot twists in this story are so fun to write!

Oh my gosh, Sian, I'm smiling so hard! Thank you! Draco is one of my favorites to read and write, so it means a lot for you to say it's going well. It *is* intimidating to write him. I really wanted to put a spin on his character, but to have it happen in a way that seemed true to the person he was in the book. So hopefully that will ring true as he grows and changes in this story.

Astoria is admirable here, though she really wouldn't believe it of herself. She doesn't consider herself a hero or even a particularly good person. I think that, as far as she's concerned, family is Priority Number 1 (even if it is your slightly-mad father and your bratty older sister). Draco's good at finding a person's weakness. And she had prepared herself for a lot of things, but never really thought that they would suspect anyone but her. She knew how to defend her own actions, but Daphne? Felix? They aren't exactly evil masterminds. She always thought she'd be distracting them from her choices, or maybe her mother's. She never would have thought that her family could be such a potential weakness.

As far as Occlumency goes, you would think that Lavinia would teach her, wouldn't you? This goes back to the crucial difference between the two of them--Lavinia was much prouder than her daughter. Hardly anyone knew what she did. While Astoria lets herself believe, temporarily, that she can't be caught (to give herself the necessary confidence), Lavinia truly believed that. She never taught Astoria Occlumency because (A) She didn't think anyone would find out about her, and (B) Another reason that I cannot yet reveal because SPOILERS!

Muahahaha. What *will* happen next? Will there be romance? Perhaps. Will Astoria get out of this conundrum? Perhaps. What will happen after that? Hard to say.

I do hope you'll come back and find out. The next chapter is in edits and I'm hoping to have it in the queue this week! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! It's so fun to read your theories :)

--Penny


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Review #41, by nott theodore The Malediction Perfidious

13th March 2014:
Hello again!

Ah this was another great chapter of this story. Your writing style is so lovely and so suited to the story; it seems to have relaxed in the sections when we discover what happened to Astoria in the past, but when she's in the parlour with Draco and under tense suspicion, the writing seems to shift slightly to adapt to that, as well. It's really intelligent writing and really enjoyable to read.

The scene in the parlour was written really well. I could feel the tension in the air as they talked about it - Draco clearly believes that they have enough evidence to incriminate Astoria, although I'm not sure what they'll do if they do decide she's betrayed them, but Astoria is equally confident of her own safety. She's definitely a brilliant actress, and the link between the two of them with the scars is really interesting.

I can't believe the curse that's been put on her by her own mother! That's so horrible, but I can imagine that there was a reason behind that perhaps we don't know about yet. Maybe her mother wanted to make sure that she wouldn't get caught up in anything to do with the Death Eaters, and punished her in case of it? I'm glad someone was there to save her!

I really like your characterisation of Ginny, as well. She seems in character with the books but we've seen a lot more of her here than we tend to in most stories, and she's really likable. I can imagine that maybe Astoria and Ginny will end up working together more in the future and maybe even forming some sort of friendship. I think they'd be good friends, if they weren't kind of on different sides of the war.

I'm intrigued to see what happens next, so I'm going to read on now!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 6/20

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm happy to hear that the writing style is working with the different tones. I do aim to create different environments, but I try not to stress over all the nitty-gritty style details to much (once I start, I'll never stop). So, I'm glad that it's working! That's actually tremendously good news to me! Thank you.

Draco's overconfidence hasn't totally left him, though it's much-diminished. He does have enough to convince himself that she's guilty, but would it be enough evidence to convict her? Would it matter?

Astoria is confident in her abilities. Really, she's similar to Draco in her overconfidence, however, in her case it's less because she really thinks she's untouchable. To effectively play her part, she has to convince herself (at least temporarily) that she's above it all; that they could never catch her. It's what gives her courage and allows her to stay "in character" as she puts on her act. For Astoria, failure isn't an option, so she has to avoid considering it as a possibility.

The scars are a detail that I love. It's sort of an echo of how the two of them are both similar and different. Both marks involve dark magic, and the choices of their parents, and their own decisions. They've both made choices that they'll never entirely escape--it'll always leave a mark. (Maybe a little heavy-handed with the symbolism? I don't know. I guess I just have a thing for literary figures with literal scars).

Hahaha! You're onto me, aren't you? I guess I've gone back and added crucial information often enough now for you to guess there might be more to Lavinia's curse than meets the eye. I can't say whether her reasons were good or ill, or if it was even really her that performed the curse, but it's good of you to question it!

Thank you so much! And good call--I don't think it's a spoiler to say that there will definitely be more of Ginny :)

Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate your thoughts!

--Penny





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Review #42, by nott theodore A Dangerous Revelation

13th March 2014:
Hi Penny! I'm here reviewing for the Blackout Bingo - I thought it was a great opportunity to come back to this story since I closed down my review thread and I enjoyed reading it whenever you requested.

Well, I definitely didn't expect that to come in this chapter! There's a lot that we still have to learn about Astoria, it seems, and she's done a lot more in her past than most people have, let alone someone who's her age. It's going to be really hard for her to have to face Malfoy over this subject, let alone any others that there might be. It really shows how horrible the Death Eaters are, that they're interrogating a girl so young about her family's loyalties.

I have a really increased respect for Astoria, though. Ginny would definitely be the first person I would think could pass a message to the Order and other people in the Resistance, so it makes sense to me that she chose to go to her. I liked the fact it wasn't easy, though, and that Ginny didn't believe her straight away. I found it believable that Ginny would have trusted her in the end, though. The revenge brings another dimension into it that I hadn't expected - I just thought that Astoria was upset about her mother's death, and not that she'd done anything about it. Things are definitely going to get really interesting now that we know that she's stopped a Death Eater attack on some members of the resistance!

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 5/20

Author's Response: Hey Sian! Great to have you back! Your reviews are always really helpful--they make me think. Also, glad you were there to help out with the Blackout--go snakes!

There's a lot more to learn about Astoria--girl's got her secrets. You're very right in saying that she's done a lot for her age. Nope, it doesn't paint a very attractive picture of the Death Eaters, but then, what does? What she's undertaking--having to hide the truth like this while being interrogated--*is* incredibly difficult. She's very clever, but, as you point out, still quite young. We'll have to see if she can live up to the challenge ;)

I'm really glad that you found Astoria and Ginny's interactions believable. I really wanted that scene to work! I figured that, even though we didn't see much of it, Ginny would have had to grow a lot in that last year. She'd still keep part of her carefree nature, but even in the later books, she did have a bit of an edge to her. I didn't think she'd see some Slytherin girl and think, "Well let us welcome you warmly into our ranks for clearly you must be telling us the truth!", but I also didn't think she'd dismiss her outright.

As far as Astoria's revenge, her motivations are...murky, to her, at least. And while she's cautious, deep down she's not really the type to stand by and do nothing if there *is* something to be done.

Oh, and things are certainly going to get interesting.

Thanks so much for the R&R, Sian! Hope you're doing well :D

--Penny


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Review #43, by TidalDragon An Unwelcome Visitor

7th March 2014:
Howdy!

First off, I liked the time you took to describe things, particularly people's appearances. The lines about the dress Astoria was wearing were particularly significant and the way you wove her thoughts in with your own description of the symbolism was well done.

The way you paint the Greengrass family is also interesting. Obviously we don't really know much of anything about them from canon, but you manage to give them something unique in the first chapter by demonstrating how prejudice and loyalty to Voldemort have not permeated Astoria's psyche despite her upbringing.

I have mixed feelings about the ending. It was a bit abrupt for me. But at the same time I am intrigued by where the next chapter will start given Astoria's emotions and Malfoy's behavior in her home. It also helps that the thought expressed in the last line is an answer of sorts to her own open question. Perhaps you've got me after all - I'll have to read the next line to find out right?

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Hey there, TidalDragon (snazzy name, by the way. I like oceans and dragons),

Thank you very much! I'm glad to hear that you liked the part with the dress. Depicting the Greengrass family has been really fun, because it's like having an almost-clean slate. There are some lines there for me to work with, but I've been able to create a lot of new details, too, and I've enjoyed having that freedom.

I totally understand if you found the ending too abrupt. Thanks for telling me. I may have to go back and edit that later. It seemed the best way to move forward at the time, since a large portion of Lavina's (Astoria's mother's) story is told in the next chapter. However, I do see what you mean. Thank you again for pointing it out! I'll have to see if I can think of a way to make that flow a bit better.

Well, if you're intrigued, I do hope you'll read on and find out. There are certainly plenty more mysterious to be revealed, if you do decide to stick around, and I really appreciate having a reviewer who'll give me constructive criticism.

Either way, thanks for reading and reviewing!

--Penny




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Review #44, by Lostmyheart The Malediction Perfidious

26th February 2014:
Not a single flicker of emotion betrayed her. He looked her over, knowing what signs to watch for. He wasnt sure why he bothered--he was, after all, fairly certain of the eventual outcome. But still, she puzzled him. Her hands did not shake. Her eyes didnt shift. She regarded him with that steady gaze, the one that said I have nothing to fear from you. The one that said, If this is a game, then it is one I will win.
- I love this! It was absolutely perfect and I'm so amazed with the little details you write! You're brilliant, Penny!

I also like this:
Course not, she shrugged, sticking her hands into the pockets of her navy cardigan. I hate stuck-up Pureblood bints like you. I didnt say I was hoping youd be okay. I just said I wanted to come see.
- I love how you make these two kind of play with each other at the Hospital Wing. They're quite amusing, both so proud and so stubborn, yet they almost see through each other.

This story keeps getting more and more interesting, I love it!

And you're so creative. I liked the spell you made up. If her mother really put that spell on her, it's truly sad. Does she really want to kill her daughter because of a few (though very dangerous) secrets?

I don't like her mother. But I understand her confusion, whether or not she should hate her mother.

The ending was good, I liked it.

You're doing such a fantastic job and this story is addictive.

Can't wait to see what you've written in the next chapters!

- Avi

Author's Response: OOooh! Favorite quotes! Those are exciting! It's fun to see what people like, in particular.

Bahaha! Ginny and Astoria's interactions are some of my favorite things to write. They're both smart, but in really different ways (while Draco and Astoria are similar, she and Ginny are basically opposites, apart from, as you say, being stubborn and smart).

That is a pretty sad moment in the story. I can't tell you if Lavinia really did curse Astoria or not. It's certainly what seems most likely here. However, I can say that what seems likely will, in some cases, be turned on its head. And also, with as many lies being thrown around as there are in this story, there could be other explanations. Lavinia is a very complicated woman, but it's perfectly fair if you don't like her. In many ways, she's a typical Slytherin, and like most people, she has good qualities as well as some very bad ones.

Thank you so, so much!

New chapter is coming soon. It's totally written, and I'm currently in edits. I have a big test tomorrow, but hopefully after that I can find the time to finish up the new chapter and get it in the queue :D

And speaking of which, when do I get to read a new chapter of Upper Class, missy? :p

Looking forward to it!

Un gran abrazo! ("Big hug!")

--Penny


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Review #45, by Lostmyheart A Dangerous Revelation

26th February 2014:
Hi Penny!

I finally got the time to continue reading this AMAZING story. To be honest, I don't think amazing really covers it. This story is so much more than that.

I'm truly amazed by how you describe things. I know I've said it before, but you're so incredibly talented.

Most stories that has a conversation that stretches over several chapters can become dry. But you keep it interesting with these little flashbacks and you definitely keep the conversation between Draco and Astoria so intriguing.

I really like where this is going. And I especially like that Astoria decided to tell the truth to Ginny. It shows a more caring side of her - that she wants to avenge her mothers death and maybe wants to save innocent people's lives.

Love this story!

- Avi

Author's Response: Avi, I cannot even handle how sweet you are. You are THE BEST! I feel, like, showered with way more praise than I could ever deserve, but I really appreciate it. You know how when you have doubts about your work/the quality thereof, it's supposed to take like 7 nice thoughts to make up for 1 bad one? This is supposed to be a science thing. Anyway, next time the doubts/bad thoughts come around, I'm going to have to come back and read your reviews. I'm pretty sure a single review from you is as good as, or actually, probably better than, the requisite 7 good thoughts needed to outweigh the bad one.

I am so happy every time someone mentions that the flashbacks work for them! I was definitely concerned about that, but it was so vital to the story (since no one ever tells the truth, you kind of have to see it yourself). I'm delighted that apparently they're working smoothly and proving helpful.

Yes! Astoria, arguably, isn't as bad a person as she thinks she is (at least not all the time).

Thank you so much, again and again.

--Penny


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Review #46, by Lostmyheart The Lady of Greengrass Hall

22nd February 2014:
Hi Penny!

I finally got the time to read the second chapter.
And I was not disappointed! It was incredible, truly amazing.

I can't get over how well written this story is. I loved how you portrayed them both. So formal and well-spoken, they both seem so smart and they almost play with each other somehow. They know exactly how to reply one another without beeing too honest, keeping it interesting all the time.

I'm kind of in love with this story already.
Can you fall in love with a story? Apparently, yes.

You're so talented!

Big hug
- Avi

Author's Response: Avi!

Sorry it's taken me a few days to respond. Urgh! I do mean to do better. It's midterms here, which is the only defense I can offer. Forgive me?

:D Ginormous smile. That is what you have done to my face. I am sooo glad you weren't disappointed. That's my constant worry with each chapter--I don't want anyone to read it and think, "Well, I've read better from her." Which, I mean, that's a silly fear and it's probably bound to happen sometime. But still, it makes me quite happy that chapter 2 didn't let you down.

You've got it just right, which I'm so excited about--they definitely play with each other. I think it's not often that either Draco or Astoria meets such a worthy opponent, and on some level they can't help but enjoy that.

Oh my gosh! Thank youuu!!! Avi, you really are the best encourager. I really appreciate it.

BIGGER hug ;)

--Penny



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Review #47, by Lululuna A Dangerous Revelation

22nd February 2014:
Hello! :)

Unsurprisingly I loved this chapter. It's so amazing to see into Astoria's head and her motivations, and how the stories she's conducting to explain to Draco are so different from the truth. I really enjoyed the structure of this chapter, with the mention of Epping Forest and how they really do mean a lot to Astoria.

whether or not a family's heads would be handed to the Dark Lord--or, more aptly, his snake--on a silver platter... Ew, but loved this just because it is so true. Nagini and her carnivorous ways really give me the creeps and you brought that fully to life here with this symbolic but also literal image.

Ginny being her contact actually fits so perfectly. I like how this showed how perceptive Astoria is and how she takes in the little details about a person to use to her advantage later. I really like the idea that nobody really knew that Ginny and Harry were together, and how that might have affected Ginny's place at Hogwarts - I remember thinking when I read the books it was a little unrealistic that she was allowed to stay at Hogwarts for so long but this fits so well.

She lived by her wits, not by her wand. I love this line and the spy mentality it conjures. Astoria is so quick and seems one step ahead of the game, and I like the reminders that she is this way because she was raised to be so.

Are you Weasleys so poor that you have to wear your money so you don't lose it, then, Blood Traitor? This was just so nasty but also a really good reminder of how the Slytherins (especially Draco) treated Ron and his family. Money was one of those things that they dangled over their heads and I like how Astoria is very aware of that. Also the detail about the DA galleons and how Astoria noticed Ginny's special attention to it was fantastic in hinting at what was going on behind the scenes.

Ginny cared about Astoria's motives only so much as they might prove she was telling the truth. I just really love the way you've written Ginny here, how pure and noble and caring she is. She's a bit of an anti-Slytherin in the way that she doesn't care about the secrets, but only if they mean that Astoria is genuine. Actually the conversation reminded me a little of Snape convincing Dumbledore that he had changed when he revealed his love for Lily.

I like how Astoria doesn't want to be remembered as a hero - it fits really well, she's a spy, not someone who wants to be in the spotlight for one reason or another. People knowing she's a spy would decrease her credibility for the future.

This was an amazing chapter, I loved learning more about Astoria. I'm so excited to read on and find out what happens next! :D ♥

Author's Response: Ew, the snake quote! I was always fond of it, in a darkly humorous way, and I think you're the first person to mention it. Nagini is sooo creepy, isn't she?

The Ginny/Harry thing was something that always bothered me, too! I know Harry broke up with her to keep her safe, but I always wondered why the Death Eaters didn't use their relationship to their advantage. The only explanation I could come up with is that nobody noticed. It seems a stretch, as popular as Harry was, but it was N.E.W.T. and O.W.L. time for most students their age, and they probably mostly hung out around other Gryffindors, who maybe wouldn't talk? Besides everyone being shaken by Dumbledore's death. Maybe they avoided being front-page news for just long enough?

It is such a mean thing to say, isn't it? I think that Astoria is so aware of the Weasleys because (well, apart from her being hyper-aware of everyone) they are, in essence, what she'd become if her fellow Purebloods discovered that she helped the Order. She's the type to think through potential consequences, and when she looks at Ginny, she sees what she could become (and that's if she was really lucky and wasn't killed outright, which would be her first assumption. Astoria isn't exactly an optimist).

I loved throwing in the DA coin bit as a little background. Besides, some of the things Astoria is noticing might come in handy later...

Thank you! Ginny was really fun to write in this scene. She's strong, like Astoria, but comes from such a different world and mindset. It was fun to compare them.

Astoria's insistence on *not* being a hero is one of my favorite things about her. She's not in it for the glory (not even in the quiet way her mother was). In fact, Astoria doesn't think of herself as a particularly good person, at all. Astoria probably wouldn't admit to being a hero if someone stamped the title on her forehead. She's a very different sort of person. And, as you say, she wouldn't like the idea of people applauding her. Makes it more difficult to slink around unnoticed ;)

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your review! And favorite quotes are so fun to see. I love reading about what struck people, in particular.

A pleasure swapping with you, as always :D

--Penny



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Review #48, by Lululuna The Lady of Greengrass Hall

20th February 2014:
This is a thing, and I read it.

^^ Best review ever am I right?

Haha okay, so I was doing this thing where as I reviewed the Speed Dating entries and checking for responses I decided to go give another review to the person to respond the fastest. Why? Who knows, but anyway you were the winner which is super impressive since I just reviewed yours a short time ago! :D Yay! Besides I was really eager to get back here so this just worked perfectly.

Ah, I love this chapter so much! It's really interesting to learn more about Lavinia but I feel like this chapter also raises so many more questions which I'm dying to know. Who killed her? What was the information, and what is Astoria going to do with it? This is so very intriguing!

I really like Lavinia, despite her Death Eater habits. She seems like such a wonderful strong woman who is determined to forge her own way in the world, and definitely worthy of respect. I loved the way her husband saw her especially, and how he would worship her equally regardless of her accomplishments. For a strong woman, that would be immensely irritating and unfulfilling, and I actually found that really relatable. I love the hints at the bond between Lavinia and Astoria as well.

It's actually quite funny, because when I read the summary for some reason I assumed the spy was Astoria's father. What does that say about me/attitudes towards evil, hmm... So learning that the female characters are the powerful ones here was a great surprise.

The tie-ins to canon were really clever. I like the mentions of Harry vanquishing Voldy, and how that affected Lavinia and her work. Astoria's reasoning, such as the idea that the Order of the Phoenix didn't normally cast the Avada Kedavra curse, was fascinating as well.

I feel like I'm going to be a bit of a broken record with this but I really love Astoria. Her thoughts towards Muggles were so interesting, and fits with that mentality of caring for one's own interests above petty morals and prejudice. I'm excited to see how she grows throughout the story. Also, as a fellow Astoria writer I love how much control and agency you've given her - so often she seems pushed to the side to make room for Hermione to swoop in and take Draco, so I love how you've written her as this force of power.

I can't wait to read on and find out more about the secret, and how Astoria is going to use Draco to bring down the Death Eaters! It's just brilliant, and I love your writing style. Another wonderful chapter! :)

Author's Response: ^^ This is a review and I responded to it. ;)
Heeheehee. Best review/response combo in HPFF history, for sure!


Wow! I'm delighted that I won the secret speedy review response contest (that's what I'm calling it, anyway)! It's lovely to have you back!

:D Yay! Lavinia is one of my favorite characters, and I've been pleasantly surprised at the amount of love she's received. For a dead woman, she has a lot of influence in this story. If you keep reading, you'll definitely find out more about her, just as Astoria does. She's a very complicated woman. As for who killed her, and why...heeheeheeheehee. Perhaps you shall find that out, too? (Writing: the only time it's considered okay to laugh maniacally about murder).

This is my story where I give the Slytherins some love. Representin' my house, and all. They get such a bad rep, and the books don't really make much of their better qualities. I wanted to get a better picture of what makes a Snake a Snake, which qualities are redeemable and which are not. All the characters so far are definitely rough around the edges, but there's more to them than meets the eye.

Yup! Lots of lady power in here (though the gentlemen get their moments, as well.) That is interesting. Somehow, writing that summary, I never even considered the fact that people might think that her father would be the Death Eater. Silly of me. But how fascinating!

And thank you! The references are sort of where I get my fun with this one. Normally, I like to make silly jokes and puns, but that doesn't really fit the tone of this story (or not in these scenes), so instead I try put little shout-outs to canon in there. I'm glad you liked them!

And no complaints about any broken record-ness. You are so sweet! It's like a broken record of compliments. Like, that's a really awesome record. I would totally buy that and it would be my most played album! (Which is maybe really vain, but come on? Who wouldn't?!) Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I really appreciate it :D

Oh my gosh, I would LOVE to see Hermione try to take Draco from Astoria (if she decides she wants him). I mean, I adore Hermione, and she's doubtless the best witch of her generation, but still, Astoria wouldn't be easy to beat. That would be a sight to see!

Thank you so much for your super-sweet comments. Your writing style is amazing, so I cannot tell you how much that means to me. Thanks again for reviewing!

--Penny


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Review #49, by Lululuna An Unwelcome Visitor

20th February 2014:
Hi Penny! :) I've actually wanted to check this story out for a while since I love what I've read of yours and love Draco/Astoria (do they even have a proper shipname??) so this is the perfect chance! :D

The beginning was so tantalizing and made me very curious. Astoria's mother seems very sly, and I was really intrigued to find out what had happened to her from all the hints through the chapter. It's such a brilliant idea, that Astoria has been trained to be a spy since she was a child, how she feels that she needs to take up the mantel of her mother and protect the family. I really liked the line about her wearing green for Greengrass, and that was all she was loyal too. It's a brilliant take on a Slytherin and I can't wait to see how she fits into the pureblood and Death Eater world.

He was thinner, with cheekbones that were too pronounced and circles like purple thumbprints pressed into the pale flesh beneath his eyes. I loved this description, in fact the way you've described Draco throughout the whole story was just perfect. I like all the mentions of how thin and weary and pale he is - it's a perfect description for how his exterior would reflect his interior, how his self-resolve and charisma has been washed away by stress.

His presence would not leave a stain on any place she cared for. I really loved this line, among many others. It was so powerful and emotive, and shows how much Astoria manipulates people through her environment and the setting. Something I loved here was the acute awareness of the movement of the characters through the setting and how every little thing is significant.

Filly is such an adorable name for a house elf! I like as well how Astoria went to thank Filly. I really like Astoria already, she feels very relatable and definitely somebody I want to keep reading about.

Austerity in one's tea additives had never struck her as admirable. Haha, I actually loved this, just because so many people I know are so strict and judgemental about their tea! It's hilarious, and I love Astoria even more for loading hers up with milk and sugar.

This was such a fantastic first chapter, I can't believe it's taken me this long to get here! :D I'll definitely try and be back in the near future, I love your writing style and you create amazing characters. Thanks for the swap! ♥

Author's Response: Hello! I realized I'd replied to your other reviews and somehow left this one un-replied-to. I have been remiss in my replying duties! My sincerest apologies, especially since this is such a lovely review!

You are right I do not think there is one and why do my babies have no proper shipname?!

Astoraco? Drastoria?

...hmmm. Maybe that's why.


Thank you so much. I love seeing favorite quotes. It's actually really helpful in figuring out which aspects of my writing seem to work well, aside from just being really nice and giving me warm fuzzies. Which it also does :D

Astoria is definitely manipulative. You know, it's funny, I don't think anyone else has mentioned that aspect of her so far. Granted, we haven't seen much of it, so you picked up on the best example that's probably in the story for the first few chapters. But yes, she is, and in a way that is sometimes carefully thought out, but at other times is just so integral to her thought process she'd never really think of it at all. She just orders things in such a way that it will benefit her. In her view, that's as natural as can be.

Filly! Filly was actually the name in my first (as yet un-posted) fanfic. This is my second fic. I had given the Malfoys a House Elf named Filly, and I got curious about Mrs. Malfoy and how she came to be who she is, and just branched off one day and started writing a sort of prequel. It morphed into something totally different, and Astoria is now very different from that version of Mrs. Malfoy, but I plugged in Filly's name automatically, because it was in my head canon and that was just their elf. I was always really fond of it, myself.

Haha! The tea quote is one of my personal favorites. That one was actually just a thought that popped into my head in everyday life, for the same reason. Tea snobs! And when the sentence formed in my head I was like, that's a very Astoria thought. I also liked it because it shows that, despite her somewhat austere appearance, Astoria has a lighter side.

Thank you so much for your awesomely sweet review! It really made me smile so much. It's always a pleasure to swap with you, Jeanna! Thanks again.

--Penny



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Review #50, by Lostmyheart An Unwelcome Visitor

19th February 2014:
Hi Penny!

I've read your part of our story collaboration a few times now, so your EXCELLENT writing skills shouldn't surprise me so much - but when I read this, it blew my mind.

I love how you describe the different little details, how he sits, how she drinks her tea and watches him.

The beginning of this chapter was very cute and somehow intriguing.
How you described Draco, made me want to give him several cookies and lots of beef for dinner. yet you made him attractive and almost likeable - because he wasn't so keen on doing what he had to do.

I like where this story is going and I'll read the next chapters as soon as I get the time to!

Big hug
- Avi

Author's Response: Hey Avi!

Thank you so, so much! You are the best encourager ever.

Thanks. Details are one tricky part about writing these characters. They both just notice so much more than I ever do. I'm a pretty oblivious person, sometimes ;)

Draco is in desperate need of cookies and beef, at this point. I'm pretty sure a little red meat, sugar, and maybe experiencing real emotions would all be really great for him right now. I'm glad that he came across as likeable, especially since he's, well, Draco. That's exciting news! :D

Thank you! I'm headed over to read yours this weekend, and looking forward to it!

Bigger hug

--Penny


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