I FEEL PERSONALLY VICTIMISED BY THAT OPENING PARAGRAPH. (But I forgive you, because it's a legit Orwell reference.)
When you mentioned the young mother jogging with the pram (minor nitpick moment: they're called prams, and not strollers here) I had vivid flashbacks to the time I was walking home from art school and nearly got flattened by a young mothers' exercise class - which was basically just sprinting with prams and occasionally stopping to do squats. They come out of nowhere, it's terrifying.
No, Edie! Do not sacrifice your journalistic integrity for Oliver! Dish the dirt on him!
I also like how you brought up the war in this chapter, and that Edie isn't all that affected by it, whilst there might be something to do with Oliver there - what if the shoulder injury is far worse than Edie thought? What if that's what started Oliver on his dramatic downfall? What if??
WHY CAN'T ANYTHING GO RIGHT FOR EDIE OMG
I'm so mad at everything right now I think I'm on the verge of emitting a banshee-like wail and going on a rampage, leaving a trail of destruction in my wake, like a very, very small, pathetic, scottish godzilla.
Jaediver?!? Can I ship it?!? (Can I kick it? (yes you can!))
Why do you insist on torturing my feelings like this!! ♥Author's Response: Hahahha, I just love accidentally inserting you into this story, don't I? First the girl in the coffee shop, now this!
GAHHH okay so I actually had "pram" written first, because they say it in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (GOD I AM SO AMERICAN.) But then when I fact-checked, which consists of me doing some minimal-effort Googling, I didn't feel like it was common slang. Welp, good to know. I'll change it back. :P
I'm glad you're rooting for Edie to dish the dirt, because I am too! I think a lot of readers are getting fed up with her, haha. She even had a flame or two after the last chapter xD
Yes, the war. I feel like we only see the people who the war really affected--which, to be fair, was a lot of people. But what about those who didn't have to go on the run, or who were pulled out of school, or who never suffered any losses? I feel like there's an immense guilt there. It's another kind of tragedy of war that I wanted to explore.
Jaediver?! Dood. That's intense. And then you have to account for Seamus's man-crush on Oliver, and Dean's over-protectiveness of Edie. Jae+Seamus+Edie+Dean+Oliver = Jeamudiediver?
♥ Report Review
I just remembered something I meant to tell you: as I was reading about Edie's internship and pondering on my own employment prospects, I remembered my brief stint working at a music shop a few years ago. One of my daily tasks was to deliver the teas and coffees, seeing as I was the most junior member of staff. There were about eight people working there, and I had to load all eight brimming mugs onto a tray and carry them downstairs to dish them out. I realised, fairly swiftly, that this was impossible for a tiny fourteen year old girl, so I ended up begging someone from the guitars department to carry it down for me so long as I brewed it - I felt awful about this until my manager told me that they were actually glad I passed on the task because, one year, they had a boy working there who couldn't manage the entire tea tray and tripped down the stairs with it, soaking something like five expensive Gretsch guitars in hot tea and coffee.
That was pretty much irrelevant to everything, but I felt like sharing that with you.
I like Edie's confusion about whether Oliver actually kissed her or not! It feels a bit more realistically (honestly, in the heat of the moment, one can be prone to imagining things) and it adds ~even more tension~ to a story that's already as tense as a highly-strung landlord with a parakeet on the loose.
Nitpick time - His lips spread into a huge smile. "You wrote her?" - there should be a 'to' after wrote~ I think that might be a dialectical difference, actually? I'm not entirely sure, but 'wrote to' is what I'd consider correct.
Edie bought the magazine eee :3 FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH ON HER WALL PLEASE
I love how Edie's landlord semi-asks her out for a drink via Howler, snort
♥ onwards and upwards!Author's Response: OH MY GOD! I'm so glad that didn't happen to you, I bet that guy seriously just died. That sucks that you had to do such menial work... At least you were enough of a boss to just pass it off onto somebody else, like, "Naw. Not doing it." Man, I would feel really mean being like "YOU. Small girl. Fetch us many hot beverages."
Yeah! I feel like I always have an out-of-body experience of sorts, when something like that happens! And then afterwords you think and over-think it to the point that you can't remember what you've imagined and what actually happened.
That's embarrassing... I actually put "You wrote her," instead of the other way around, because I was like, "I FEEL LIKE I HEARD THEM SAY THAT ON PRIDE AND PREJUDICE I DUNNO." Bahaha. Thanks for correcting me; my experimentation with British dialect is always interesting.
SIMON. I wish I had a just reason to put him in this story more... maybe I will go back and add him in earlier on. He seems like a total random addition, plus I love him (because I can't un-see Simon Pegg doing all of these things. Hence the name Simon.)
♥ Report Review
I don't think I'll be able to live my life fully until I know whether Oliver wears boxers or briefs.
I like how Edie's turned into a super-sleuth! Unfortunately, I've become a little accustomed to my favourite characters not getting their way in life of late, so I have a horrible feeling this is going to backfire somehow.
Ooh! Tension in Puddlemere? An unpopular Oliver? [aggressively sings 'tell me more, tell me more' a la Grease]
I remember her now from the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and as the horrible incident with the cursed necklace. - I feel like there might be a word missing from the second half of this sentence...'and also from', maybe? IDK~
I have a sneaking suspicious Oliver might be feeding Edie lies - he seems to be walking into her trap a little too easily non? I may be totally wrong, but I just can't help but suspect...! (I really like their Quidditch banter, though)
I love how Edie and Oliver escaped into a record shop - coolest thing ever - but, just a teensy thing...do record shops really stay open until half past ten at night? BUT THIS IS THE CUTEST BIT EVER SO I'LL LET IT SLIDE OMG THIS BIT THIS BIT - NOOOooo000oooOOO000
(plot twist: it isn't a magical paparazzi, but a simple muggle hipster "photographer", trying to find cute indie couples to put on their tumblr)
So I'm basically a sobbing wreck that the Ediver moment never actually happened at the end but Seamus' I'M AN AUROR!!! reaction more than made up for it. I hooted with laughter, a little like a maniacal owl.
♥Author's Response: Super-sleuth Edie! You'd probably be right in assuming that this doesn't go well... In fact, just always assume from here on out that it will not go well, regardless of what "it" is.
I love the idea of Oliver just wanting to be "one of the guys," and not having friends because he spent his entire Hogwarts career thinking about Quidditch, and then graduating and being like "Oh crap I have no mates now," and trying to be besties with the second-rate Puddlemere-ers, and they kind of think he's lame because he acts so stupid when they go out to drink, but he just wants to feel accepted so he does things like put on a bad Bulgarian accent to impress them. (I love the idea of a wildly unhappy Oliver Wood, essentially.)
Yes there is a missing word! I love that you are like a beta-reader and fun-reviewer all at the same time. Thank you! I will fixy-fix it.
Hmmm, is Oliver feeding her lies, or is he just finding her exceptionally easy to talk to? And kind of forgetting that this isn't actually a date? I DONT KNOW IS HE I DONT KNOW SERIOUSLY HELP ME FIGURE IT OUT BECAUSE I JUST DONT
Yay! The record store seemed cool because it's something readers can relate to (we being lame Muggles and all), but it would seem like such a strange place to a Witch/Wizard. And I kind of imagined it to be like a record store where all the "hip" kids hang out, hence the sitting room... but maybe a record store that isn't doing so well, as there are no other customers there? So they stay open late and you can wander in there when you're bored or when you've just left the bar and are looking for an excuse to not go home yet? And kind of thumb around through the stacks for hours alone late at night and maybe run into a potential friend?
Hahahahaha. IT WAS A TUMBLR USER. The photo is going to end up on one of those impeccably matchy blogs, and it'll have a red/yellow filter and say "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."
I love maniacal owls! Like Pigwidgeon. Thanks again, you! ♥
(Also, briefs.) Report Review
Clink is slang for prison!! I hope that doesn't say anything about the contents of the chapter!!!
(Yeah, I'm back to abuse even more exclamation marks)
Also, wanted to respond to some stuff you said in your review responses -
1. Let me fawn over Edie forever, because YES she is THE most relatable character I've come across in about three centuries. Love her to bits.
2. A Highland Fling is a Scottish dance! At least I only confused you by saying Highland Fling - I could have said I was off to Strip the Willow or do the Dashing White Sergeant. Both of those are ceilidh dances. As is the Gay Gordons.
3. Canon accepted: I am witch with septum piercing, languishing in dead hipster central. (No, really. I've really become one of those lonely-person-with-notebook-in-cafe people of late).
4. I expect Edie to say 'OH BLIMEY FISH AND CHIPS TEA AND CRUMPETS THE LIFT AND THE LORRY!' in an upcoming chapter now.
4.(a) No, really, you don't need to worry about Edie sounding like a caricature! Her voice is really natural, and I know it's blimmin' difficult to write in a voice that isn't your own. I once wrote an Inception fanfiction and was called out in reviews for a) saying lift instead of elevator b) wildly overestimating the annual rainfall of Los Angeles c) saying queue instead of line. And it's hard enough not going full Scottish on my writing sometimes! So I can totally sympathise.
5. Feel free to make Oliver crack out a nae now and again. Nae bother. Nae fear.
6. Please do tumble Oliver's biography at some point. Also, odd question, but where in Scotland do you imagine him coming from? I need to know for...science.
Now Edie's expressed her plan to wear the dress and return it, I feel like something's going to go horribly wrong - a stain, a tear, Oliver dropping a pint on her...
Dean wat no DEAN DON'T TELL ME YOU LOVE EDIE I WILL PERSONALLY CRAWL INTO THIS FIC AND SET YOU UP WITH EVERY GIRL IN IT IF IT MEANS I CAN HAVE EDOLIVER
Ooh can Eddie make an appearance at some point? That sounds like the BEST friendship ever.
Father Christmas!! That description of the restaurant was amazing! I want to go there now~
There's no way I could ever dislike Edie, high horse or not! The poor girl's had such bad luck lately, I just want to see her getting her own back at everyone. And dishing the dirt on Oliver. (And possibly ending up with him, I don't even like him all that much but...I ship them?!?!)
♥ onwards!Author's Response: YYYOOOUUU!
Oh wow, I hadn't even thought about Clink being slang for prison... I'm sure I could find some way of bending the context of this "literature" into meaning exactly what I want it to (as per my undergraduate degree.) Hmm, Edie is in a "prison" that she created for herself, because she won't allow herself to look past her first impression of Oli--NOPE. Just the sound of glasses clinking.
1. Um, can we please talk about Flora Lancaster and the painfully awkward and relatable-ness?
2. I seriously thought it was throwing a log, like in the Highland Games that happens around here (in southern America, where we are JUST LIKE SCOTTISH PEOPLE)
3. YES. It is canon indeed. And I am totally in to sitting in places alone, I feel like every entry in my journal essentially says, "Why do I keep coming here, the coffee tastes awful." It's where I do my serious-est of writings!
4. I kind of want to find a way for that to happen?
4(a). Blimmin'! Didn't know that one either. That's really funny about your culture mix-ups, yeah, California is pretty arid, like annual-wildfire kind of arid!
5. Nae will he not crack a nae! (Did I do the thing?)
6. I totally will do that... trust me. It's the same bio I wrote for my first story on my HPFF page from FO-EVA AGO, but built-upon.
I should have taken that and gone with it, with the dress, but it just felt like TOO MUCH bad stuff was happening to her. So I just kind of glossed over it? Which wasn't really intentional either... I need some closure with that, it's really been bugging me!
YOU LIKE EDIVER NAOW?! ♥
Let's go sit at The Hanging Moon, at separate tables, with our notebooks, and not talk to anyone and write bad poems, and every now and then we'll solemnly look up at each other and nod. Plan? Plan.
♥ Report Review
Soy-bacon? My stomach just rebelled.
Brilliant chapter. I love Edie's mum. You make her sound super annoying but loveable and absolutely mad without stretching disbelief. I love that. And the bit about Seamus or Dean ever realising they were in love with Edie, was probably my favourite bit. Other than "I've never had Korean food!"
I like that Edie description of how it was growing up was brief and that it made sense to be mentioned here. Have I mentioned how much I love the way you introduce backstory? It's pretty ace.
Reading on!Author's Response: SOY-BACONNN. haha. I'm actually a vegetarian and can't stand the stuff, it tastes like cardboard. Soysage is a whole 'nother story, though ;3
Hypatiaaa. I wonder what her nickname would be... Pay-pay? Hahaha. OH man. Anyway, I am glad you like her. I feel kind of protective over her, because she's based off my own Mom in a lot of ways.
Thanks for the kind words! ♥ Report Review
I absolutely adored this. I read the whole thing in about 4 hours. I can't wait for more!Author's Response: SERIOUSLY that is one of the best compliments I can hear. I just think of the stories that *I've* done that to, and how much I love them, and gah. Thank you so much ♥ Report Review
I love Seamus, haha. Loved the scene when he was unintentionally sort of flashing Oliver.
And ooo Rose is a... something I can't say in this review in order to keep it family friendly! Ugh. She's so manipulative. I want to step into the story and give Rose a slap myself, because it would be unprofessional for Edie to do so.
The only (very minor) issue I saw was that when Edie is commenting on Justin's man-purse, she says almost the exact same thing as in the first chapter (or second... whenever it was first mentioned):
After Justin had managed to get in a few more jokes about my supreme gracefulness, I had made a jab at his man-purse. Justin is very sensitive about his leather shoulder-bag. He only got one because all the other lawyers at the Ministry use them, and I don't think I've stopped taking the mickey out of him since day one.
It feels a little like you copied/pasted it from the first chapter. But maybe that's just me. Regardless, this was an excellent chapter as always! :DAuthor's Response: Seamus ♥ ♥ ♥ I feel so arrogant saying that I find my own stories so hilarious, but sometimes when I imagine Seamus doing things (like accidentally flashing Oliver) I can't help but laugh.
Manipulative! Good word indeed.
Yeah, the man-purse thing! Gah! Okay, I am going to fix that THIS WEEK. I re-wrote this chapter ages and ages and AGES ago, removing that bit and putting it into the first chapter, but I never re-updated this chapter... so it looks like I just said the same thing twice. I appreciate you pointing it out though, I need more pressure to stop being such a lazy editor ;3
Thanks again! Report Review
Well, Edie was saying she needed to make a lasting impression, and I think she certainly did just that! I was laughing out loud during the entire last few paragraphs. She is the master of awkward situations!
Although I've got to say, Oliver is pretty awkward himself. That whole scene was brilliant.
I'm wondering how long it'll be before Edie and Rose's secret is out - now that Edie has to write another two articles. And Rose probably won't have much else going on now that Edie is doing most of her work. That'll certainly make Edie feel better, I think. :P
10/10 and on to read the next chapter!Author's Response: Hiya!
Awkward-Oliver just came out as I was writing this chapter. I actually had him continuing in a way similar to his introduction; a little more cocky, a little more self-assured. But it just didn't feel right. And then suddenly this socially awkward, to-the-point, analytical and wry person came out instead. So I just went with it!
Hmm, how long indeed...? ;3
Thanks again! Report Review
I'm so glad I randomly decided to click on this fic - I love it so far! It's so refreshing to see something that's set post-Hogwarts about characters in their twenties. And I completely identify with Edie as well, what with already making plans to become a cat lady. I'm in the same boat - the post-graduation "what am I even doing with my life, while my friends are all successful and I'm clueless" boat.
I also want to say how much I love the fact that you main character is a feminist. As a fellow feminist it is wonderful to see characters like her :) I hope she goes to that protest anyway, despite what Mr Ward says. (Maybe she can create a robot of herself that mans the refreshment table while she champions female goblins' rights.)
Ok that's my thoughts about the story so far, now for this chapter: Viktor Krum... OR IS HE? Based on his accent switching to Scottish, I think that's actually Oliver and now Edie is going to be interviewing him and heheheh things are going to get interesting. I can't WAIT until she walks in for the interview and probably wants to punch him. I do wonder why he was pretending to be Krum though.
So far I really like Edie's narration, and she seems to be that person whom just nothing goes right for her! But I love when she shouted "Father Christmas" at Rose, that had me laughing! Also, random side note, when she turned on the jukebox to Talking Heads I could totally see it being the song Life During Wartime and Edie's cleaning up the bar listening to "this ain't no party, this ain't no fooling around" to sum up a greeeat night, lol.
Okay I think I'm done rambling for now but expect to see me back here again with more rambly reviews in the future. Just added this story to my favourites and I'll definitely keep reading! :)Author's Response: Yay for random clickings! They have brought me to some of my favorite HPFF stories of all time. And, uh, can we start a cat-lady support group?
I really wanted to write this to push my feminist agenda, haha. Really, I want people (regardless of gender) to realize that feminism isn't this thing you sign up for, like a voting party--it's just whether you innately think that everyone (again, regardless of gender) should be completely equal. It's not all burning bras or hating men or any of that... basically I want people, especially younger readers, to understand that it's not this horrible idea!
Hmmm... Is he Viktor Krum?! (No, he isn't, as you now surely know.) It takes quite a few chapters to figure out why Oliver was pretending to be Krum, but basically he was just trying to get a laugh out of his team mates and make them like him (wee insecure lad that he is.)
Yeeeahh! That would be a great song! I don't know exactly which one I was thinking of (it's different every time, and I wanted to leave it open to the reader) but I love that idea.
Yay, future rambly reviews! I always love them. ♥ Report Review
And what, four paragraphs in, I'm already starting this review. I love "I imagine it to be on a repeating loop, like the paparazzi photographs in Witch Weekly." More depth! Similes and metaphors and all that which take details from the actual story and apply them all... good..ly? Wow. Sorry. Anyway.
"Because her life isn't quite picturesque enough." I love the comparisons to Lisa. I feel like some people overdo the character complements, but you handle them well. Lisa seems very idealised of course, but I imagine she would appear that way to Edie, who has pretty much nothing right going on in her life. I like how you make Edie sound sort of but not too terribly whiny, and I think her dry humour balances what could otherwise be an annoying character trait.
It seems like you might have used that exact same thing about the man-purse earlier? I remember the same wording, I think. Meeeh somewhere.
I love this whole chapter. It's probably my favourite so far, actually. Possibly because I'm realising just how much I love this story.
Well I have things and stuff that need doing so I'll probably come review some more awhile later (as long as I manage to remember) and read and all of that. But I ain't quitting you, love ;)
/ borderline creepinessAuthor's Response: Hallooo, again!
Yeah, Lisa is quite idealized! But you're also right; it's from Edie's perspective. Kind of like how people forgot that Draco and Snape were told from Harry's perspective--while he could only ever see them as horrible (at least until DH), Edie can only see Lisa as having everything. But it's only because of where she's standing ;3
I totally did repeat that! I have some newly-edited versions of these earlier chapters that I really need to upload; in the newest version of this chapter, that isn't here. I really need to get around to that...
Man, this was one of my favorite chapters too! I was sad that it had a comparatively low review count, hehe. I love anything involving Rose, and this chapter is even NAMED after her, so what do you expect?
Never creepy. Never. ♥ Report Review
OH WOW. FALLING DOWN STAIRS. I DO THAT A LOT.
But that's not why I decided to write this review. The reason is, I love your kind of style of "subtle foreshadowing" which sounds all funny but that's the only term I can think of. Like how you mention the woman with the flowers, and it seems like just some random detail, but then it comes into play later. You put the detail in early so it doesn't just seem like a Big Coincidence, but don't emphasise that it'll be important later. You make the detail memorable too, the flowers could possibly bite. It's funny, and useful as well. And you mentioned Seamus regrowing a toe earlier, which justifies the explanation of floor levels and gives your surrounding some extra oomph without being completely random. It makes sense for Edie to notice and comment about the things she does.
It makes it so the details you use aren't just random snippets, they all add to painting the lovely picture of the story. And they are sort of random, and funny, but they have also serve the purpose of adding depth in unexpected places. I really like that. A lot. I feel that way with loads of thing about this story actually. Including the goblin feminist thing. Is it weird that that's one of the things I'm really looking forward to in future chapters? I mean, the Oliver-Edie stuff is great, but you just have so many conflicts and plottage and all this stuff and you make it all relevant and interesting and GAH.
Basically, I love you, and I think you're brilliant.
That's the short version.Author's Response: Oh my, you fall down stairs a lot? You should invest in some elbow-pads, at the very least!
GAAAH I am so stupidly overly-proud of my foreshadowing, hahaha. I feel like every single thing that happens needs to have a *reason* that it happened, so every time I plant a little bit of foreshadowing I just rub my hands together and cackle. So thanks for complimenting it??
Yay another Goblin Feminist fan!! That will, indeed, become an important part of this story in more ways than one :D
Thank you so much! ♥ Report Review
So this is a bit funny then, leaving a review on chapter five of a currently eighteen-chapter story, but I have things and stuff to say so deal with it. I'll review all the chapters if I want, and there's nothing you can do about it. HA. (Except if you decide I'm extra special annoying and delete them, which I wouldn't blame you for, I ramble.)
Well basically what prompted me to leave this was some discrepancies I found. I noticed you use a lot of British slang, and it's all spot-on! Which is exciting. It's nice when stories set in Britain actually sound like they happen in Britain. So I don't know if you're British or not or what you're situation is, but there are some weird things. And I thought I would mention them since your slang is so marvy and I figure you would appreciate some more Britishisms? But kick me if I'm wrong. Really, kick me, it's the only way I learn.
Anyway. So the first thing I noticed was Edie seems a bit obsessive over tips. Now I'm not a barkeep so I don't know about how much they actually do care about tips, but I wanted to mention that tipping is not a super common thing here, so it seems a bit strange to me. But maybe I'm just trained to notice it while picking at Americanisms (not that there anything wrong with them, don't get me wrong of course, it's just that if I were writing a story about another country I would want it to be super authentic and that). So Edie getting upset about not getting tips over in chapter three seems weird to me.
Also, you mention pies in this chapter. Pies are usually with meat in them, not dessert (over here at least). So debating over whether to have cupcakes or pies is kinda strange :P
There was one more thing, oh what was it, let me go find it. Oh, yes! The coffee. There seems to be lots of coffee in this fic. Not that Brits don't drink coffee, of course. But! Tea is infinitely and 100% and will always be better (in my so very humble opinion) so most Brits would agree (at least, I think?) that tea is more common than coffee. Not to say that it's weird that Edie drinks coffee, cause she perfectly at liberty to drink whatever you, my rather brilliant author, deem appropriate. But I feel like that might come up in conversation more. We feel pretty strongly about our tea. If I had a mate that drank coffee all the time, I would probably slap them around for it every so often. But maybe I'm (most definitely) a tiny (compared to the moon) bit of a (completely mad) tea fanatic.
But well, the point of this bit is, it does seem odd that everyone else kinda goes for coffee too. And that they meet at a coffee shop. And all that. But, you know. I'm not prejudiced against coffee-drinkers. Really. I'm completely not. One hundred percent absolutely not. Mhmm.
Anyway I think this fic is marvy and I love it, it's just the best ever. I really like that you put it in this time frame, right after the war and stuff, but at the same time aren't all 'THE WAR HAPPENED and this is all the dramatic stuff that follows and everyone's suffering and la la la la' cause I don't think everyone would've reacted that way. Obviously a load of people dying is er, a bad thing, but not everybody reacts to it the same way. You put your characters in a believable situation and gave them personality traits that fit with it, and the end product is ALAKAZAM. A real story that is good and authentic and a lot of other cool things too.
So... er... good job? -pats back awkwardly-
Er yeah well anyway I love this fic and such and now I'm going to keep reading because this is taking forever. And y'know maybe I'll leave some other random reviews if that's okay with you. Also favourite. And I don't think there's anything you can do about me favouriting so HA. THERE. TAKE THAT.
Anyway. I just had my breakfast tea, so decaffeinated Chloe is not to be held responsible for any of the above. Aand FINAuthor's Response: Hello there!! Nothing weird about reviewing a little late in the game--I'm known to do that too!
I'm so glad my British slang is acceptable. A lot of it is what I've gained from Angry!Ron Weasley and from watching The IT Crowd which omG CAN I TALK ABOUT RICHARD AYOADE FOR JUST A MINUTE. (Also, thanks for saying "marvy," I have found a new slang term.)
Yeaahhh! The tip thing was something I was concerned with, but not enough to actually check facts xD I've always heard that in many European countries, servers and bartenders are paid at least minimum wage, whereas here we make about $2.15 an hour, with tips. So we really do depend on them! Oliver's friend tipping poorly was a show of bad character (as a server I consider it SO RUDE TO DO THAT WHY WOULD YOU EVEN GO OUT TO EAT IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO TIP), and Oliver's over-compensation was an apology of sorts. I suspected that part of the story was incorrect, but I was in an IM EXCITED TO UPDATE frenzy and didn't really check. I'm glad to have that clarified, though, and will add it to my ever-increasing list of edits to make.
Hahaha, I wonder where I mention pies... Not the hugest fan (of American OR British pies) so that's funny. I'll be sure to change that though!
I also hadn't realized that Edie's coffee-drinking was kind of weird. She drinks it more as a hangover cure/because she's stressed/has to churn out an article overnight/etc., so tea just didn't feel right. Plus being really spastic and stressed out and jittery just seems like such an important part of her character. I appreciate you letting me know, and I'll do something to mention that it's rare for her to do that :D
Thanks so much for all of your help! Report Review
I am surprised that Edie defended Rose! Edie is so lucky that her bumbling break-in crew didn't blow the whole "mission" to smithereens. Great chapter!Author's Response: Hello! Surprise seems to be the general reaction, haha. And I think that if Blakeslee's commitment to the magazine wasn't so strong--and the promise they made to their readers to have three interviews--she would have sacked Edie too! Thank you ♥ Report Review
YES! Finally good things are happening to Edie. After goin through all of that stuff she finally has something good happen to her! I'm so glad that she got the job and I really like Jae. He seems like a new version of Sirius Black what with charming the doorknob and everything.
I was really hoping that Rose would hey fired but it's just not in Edie's nature and I'm just so darn happy that her life is finally turning around!
And as much as I love Jae, I still want Edie to be with Oliver because it's just Oliver and Oliver is perfect in your story.Author's Response: It makes me all warm and fuzzy that people are excited for good things happening to Edie. I can kind of see that Jae is similar to Sirius! He doesn't strike me as quite so loyal though, and maybe more laid-back. :3
It seems that most people wanted Rose to be fired! I love reading all these different responses to the characters' actions. I feel like it really helps me get to know my readers, as weird as that sounds.
It's nice to know some people are still shipping Ediver.
Thanks! Report Review
Love this story; it keeps getting better and I can't wait to read the next chapters!!Author's Response: Thanks so much ♥ I've got two days off starting tomorrow, so hopefully chapter nineteen will begin to assemble! Report Review
IS JAE CHATTING UP A DOOR?! HAHAH OH MY LORD.
also i think i recognize the 'minotaur in a china shop' thing - wheres that from again?
OH YAY THIS WAS SO GREAT! GOOD THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO EDIE! also she called oliver her potential boyfriend - did anyone notice (;
there is so much i want to comment on, but i have to go study for physics BUT JUST KNOW THAT THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD CHAPTER, AND NOT LONG AT ALL, IT WAS GREAT AND I LOVED IT - ALSO JAE IS FUNNY, AND THE WHOLE 'BIRDSOUND' THING WITH DEAN AND SEAMUS EVERYTHIGN WAS JUST PERF.
im not surprised that edie defended rose. while i hoped that rose would go to jail - or accidentally drink poison - you remember my earlier reviews, right? but i guess a heroine couldn't just wish something onto someone, even if that someone is as horrible as rose.
the fact that edie kept saying more stupid things to her boss was kind of worrying - i was scared that she might get her job lost faster than she got it written.
ALSO WAIT, isn't the article she gave, the one thats bad mouthing oliver? but then he'll know that she wrote it? also what about rose? and what about rose and oliver?
also how is lisa.
THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME.
please update soon or i might spontaneously combust.Author's Response: Hello!
Well, I actually thought I made up "minotaur in a china-shop," at least somewhat, haha. The minotaur was the most bull-like HP creature I could think of. Maybe it's actually said in one of the books?
Hmmm, I really hope Edie isn't coming across as the typical do-gooder heroine type. In fact she's the opposite in many cases, mostly in that she hasn't really listened to Rose's problems before now, and oh yeah she's in danger of destroying Oliver Wood's career. I hope her sudden change of heart for Rose didn't feel as two-dimensional as "Well, she had to, because she's the MC."
Thanks for the review ♥ Report Review
This was such a wonderful chapter! :) And so funny, I loved the whole stealth mission style, although I think Edie was right in firing Dean and Seamus. I really enjoy Jae, and while I support Edie and Oliver (Eliver? Odie?) all the way Jae isn't such a bad distraction! I adored how he chatted up that cheeky door, it was just great, although perhaps a little worrying. I love how sneaky he is, perhaps he was a cat burglar before being a studio assistant?
The demonizing of the models is quite funny too, and I like how instead of Filch and portraits, WW has Mildred and tattle-taling, partying models. I hope Edie splashes some water on Brutus' poster next time she's in!
Speaking of being into work, I can't believe Edie got hired! I'm very happy for her of course, and while a little surprised she defended Rose I'm glad she did. After all, they both were in on it together, and it would have been unfair for Rose to take the fall and Edie to only benefit from it. I'm so excited to see how the job will go, and how Oliver will react to the situation and the article, and just everything really... :) Thanks for writing such an awesome chapter!Author's Response: Hi again!
This chapter was so much fun to write. I haven't done anything action/adventure-y in many years. And I've never written a comedy adventure scene, so it was fun trying new things. My favorite part to write was definitely Jae (who very well may have been a cat burglar) flirting with the door :P
Hahaha, I hadn't thought of Edie trying to get back at Brutus! In a way, though, she has him to thank. If she'd just slipped the article onto Ward's desk, it still would have been under Rose's name, and she very well may have never been hired.
Whoa, that's crazy to think about. Brutus is actually the hero in this story! I need to celebrate a Brutus-appreciation day!
I'm glad you understand why Edie didn't bring Rose down. You're pretty much spot-on. And oh yes, Oliver's reaction. It's just getting worse and worse, the longer she goes without telling him, and the meaner the things she writes.
Yay! Thank you very much indeed ♥ Report Review
I really like your story so far and I'm ready for some more Oliver action!Author's Response: I am also ready for more Oliver! I think you and I are one of the few who still ship Ediver at this point xP
Thanks for the read ♥ Report Review
I'm a relatively new reader (I just started your story the other day and finished it in one sitting), and I've been checking back every day in hopes of a new update. The feeling I got when I saw there was a new chapter was no less than "OMG so stoked!", haha.
Anyway, the suspense after she got caught by Mildred and told the truth about the article was intense! I can't wait to see how it and her article will affect her relationship, or lack thereof, with Oliver. I'm also excited to see how Rose takes the news and what kind of retaliation will come from her.
All in all, I want to read moar!!Author's Response: OH MY GOSH ONE SITTING? Flailing and screaming over here. That's so incredibly amazing, thank you!
I'm glad the scene between Edie and Blakeslee was suspenseful! I did a lot of trimming, because I was worried everyone would fall asleep xD It's good to hear the opposite.
I will update moar!!! Unfortunately, I'm just not sure when I'll have the chance to write. Maybe sometime next week, when I have a few days off. Lately all I'm good for is hours of watching Lena Dunham movies/TV and snacking.
Pardon the over-share of my pitiful existence, and thank you so much! ♥ Report Review
The happy-dance I do whenever I see youíve posted a new chapter is so ridiculous. I really hope none of my neighbours see me. . . . .
ANYWAY! New chapter! Excitement! The heist! Anticipation!
Edie the tormented poet. You canít hear me, but Iím laughing! Edieís sandwich forays, I like it! Seamus is influencing her nicely then. Itís a completely irrational thought, but how cool would it be if they were just about to swap the articles when a piece of cheese feel out of Seamusí sandwich (he managed to find the time to make one while Edie and Dean were sneaking up the stairs-he just lumbered after them, earning him a smack on the head from Edie for making noise) and all these alarms went off! Imagine trying to explain that one to the Aurors! I know that wonít happen, but a girl can dream, canít she?
Wow. If you managed to read that whole thing above there, you deserve a cheese sambo too!
Miniature-Lisaís back! I love her! Though I feel very sorry for her, because she has to sit there and watch Edie make very bad life choices, Edie really doesnít listen to her at all, does she?
It seems she listened to her. Darn.
On second hand, it seems she isnít. I love how Jae just invites himself along, like everybody wants him there. Grr. . . . . If Dean and Seamus like him Iím going to scream.
Couple-hood. Again, Laughing.
He smells nice? Why are you smelling him? Who smells people?-sorry, its one of my pet hates. Really creeps me out when people say ĎYou smell niceí itís just about the weirdest compliment you can receive, right behind ĎYou have nice earsí
Seamus and Deans Ďspy gearí is their old Hogwarts cloaks? I can just see the two of them poking around their flat trying to find them. Iím going to assume Deans was discarded to the very depths of his wardrobe, and Seamusí was somewhere really weird, like inside the freezer, or behind the boiler.
I get way too into this story. Ah well, too late to quit now!
Edie? What are you thinking? Leaving Seamus and Dean to stand guard? Dean will probably start doodling and forget why heís there, and Seamus will more than likely fall asleep! Or, the two of them will start messing around and end up setting off all these alarms! The girls lost her mind!
Jae started flirting with a door? I was wrong. I donít mind if Dean and Seamus get all buddy-buddy with him, heís just as mental as them anyhow!
Stupid Brutus! Though I suppose this heist was never going to go well, was it? Itís Edie weíre talking about here! And also, very nice try Jae, but canít you see Mildred and Filch are destined to be? I feel a new ship coming on! MILCH FOREVER!
AAAH! Edie got a real, legitimate, proper writing job! Blakeslee, oh that woman, sheís brilliant isnít she? Iím so happy right now!
I know this stroke of good fortune isnít going to last for poor Edie (because lets face it, when does it?) but Iím enjoying the moment while its here!
Update soon ♥Author's Response: Hey-lo!
Man, the cheese sammich tripping the alarm system would have been awesome! Too bad I just couldn't have poor Seamus get caught, and lose his Auror's license. I would feel too bad for the wee fellow :c I'd much rather just abuse Edie! (And I did read all of it... I will indeed eat a cheese sandwich!)
Hahaha. What! That makes no sense! It's one of our senses; recognizing scent happens naturally unless you happen to have a particularly bad sense of smell. I've inadvertently smelled somebody's cologne/shampoo without grabbing their head and avidly sniffing them (although that would make a much better story.) I guess that's the same kind of thing that happened here ♥
Oh my God Seamus's cloak would TOTALLY be in the freezer. And you're right, he probably was so pumped to be lookout for the first four seconds, and then immediately passed out. Bahahaha. Sometimes I think you know him better than I do...
MILCH. MIIILCH. I love it! Maybe Mildred even has a grumpy old man-cat that Mrs. Norris could fall in love with.
I really like Blakeslee, too (though I always feel arrogant saying that about my own characters.) She's a sharp one, her!
Thank you again, my dear ♥ Report Review
Wow, I was completely wrong when I said in my review that her plan could never work, wasn't I? I'm glad that she finally has some things going for her. She deserved it.
I wasn't very surprised that Edie defended Rose in the end. I mean, she whines a lot about Rose but in the end Edie's a good person.
And Jae chatting up a doorknob - that was quite unexpected! I still need to wrap my head around it I think. Your imagination is very impressive though :p
Right, so I really really liked this chapter (I particularly love Dean's comments) and I can't wait for your next chapter! Your writing is brilliant, it gives me new inspiration for my own story.
- PBAuthor's Response: Hello again!
Don't worry, I hadn't given you any hope that any of Edie's plans could work. I think she deserved this one too, but then again I'm quite biased.
It's good to hear that somebody wasn't surprised that Edie defended Rose! I mean, really, could she have felt good about herself after getting her fired? It's enough to know that Rose is so immature and emotionally insecure. And it wouldn't have just been a quiet sacking; if they'd gone public with the plagiarism and the wrongfully-accepted award, Rose would have a VERY hard time ever finding a job again.
Wow, endrant. Sorry...
Yay Dean! It was fun getting to write some of his snark. He's quite snarky sometimes... I have absolutely nothing of the next chapter written, haha. But hopefully my writer's block will dissipate soon enough.
Thank you again ♥ Report Review
EEEK!!! Yay!! The truth has FINALLY been revealed, and Edie didn't get in trouble for it!! *Squeals*
I was SO worried when they got caught, but I'm glad it worked out the way it did! Now I'm just curious and very, VERY afraid of what Rose's reaction will be... she doesn't seem to be the kind to take something like this without fighting back, if you know what I mean. But I'm SO happy that Blakeslee believes Edie!!
I'm also a little worried about Oliver's reaction to all of this. This big revelation is going to make him VERY angry with Edie... as if Rose hadn't already ruined their chances as a couple, anyway. But, depending on how everything goes with Jae, the Oliver thing might not even matter anymore...
Speaking of which, I wasn't sure what I thought about Jae at first, but when he and Edie started kissing I nearly started squealing for joy! I really don't know where that came from... :P
My favorite part in the whole chapter was Seamus and Dean's outfits... haha! Wearing their old Hogwarts robes and black paint over their face? I could just see the two of them dressed like that and I laughed out loud... they're such goofballs!
And Jae flirting with a DOOR?!? He certainly is a charmer, isn't he? I wonder if he intentionally started flirting with the door, or if he was simply admiring the architecture... something tells me it was deliberate. :P
Anyway, I'm so thrilled that Edie has a JOB now; something's finally going right! (Although I am curious as to how long it's going to last...) Another GREAT chapter dear, and I can't wait for more!! 10/10!Author's Response: I know! It's hard to believe that one of her plans actually succeeded, huh? :D
I think you'd be right in saying that Rose won't take this lying down. But, really, it could have been much worse for her. She could've been sacked, and Edie was the only thing keeping her from doing that. Hopefully Rose will recognize this. Then again, it's Rose.
Oh really?! Haha I was totally creeped out by Jae kissing Edie again! I mean he'd just showed her that he'd flirt with quite literally ANYTHING. How special could she feel after that? :P Oh, btw, he was totally flirting with the doorknob on purpose. But it was only to butter her up after Edie miserably failed at getting them in ;D
Seamus and Dean! I really wish I could have had them sneaking in to WW alongside, but it just didn't make sense. There would be nobody guarding the entrances, and Seamus is WAY too loud.
Yay yay yay! Job for Edie! I am equally thrilled, trust me. Thank you so much for the review! It's greatly appreciated. ♥ Report Review
Okay. I have spent my day revising Britain's social and economical changes from 1945 to 2007, or a forty-eight page long poem, so seeing this made my entire weekend.
AND AKSJSKJAJKS I CAN'T JUST.
I think I'll make a list so as to give this review some structure.
1. I'm so happy things are improving for Edie. I never expected Blakeslee to be this understanding, to be honest. There was something about this that really reminded me of The Devil Wears Prada, where at the end the boss is like "I hired you because you reminded of me" or something like that, you know?
2. WHAT IS WRONG WITH JAE. First he flirts with a doorknob, but then (even stranger), he flirts with Mildred. He doesn't need Saint Mungo's, he needs Azkaban! The more he apears, the more I get a blargh feeling about him. Edie can't date him. SHE CAN'T. Plus Jedi sounds a lot less cool than Ediver.
3. Dean and Seamus make me laugh: "What's he got that we don't have?" Seamus pouts. Dean murmurs, "An ounce of sanity?" I love that Seamus teased Edie about Oliver too.
4. Why is Edie defending Rose? She doesn't deserve it! I hope something terrible happens to her -- Edie's flatulent charm could maybe make a convenient reappearance?
5. (I'm rambling all over the place but who cares?) Blakeslee has suddenly become a much more interesting character. I hope we see more of her soon!
Now for my absolutely favourite part of this chapter (though it was very hard to choose):
As Blakeslee leads me round the corner, I hear him try valiantly, "Mildred, is it? May I just say that you look stunning in green-"
But it was closely tied with this: "And furthermore!" I freeze mid-pace. "What did you just say?"
Also, mini-nitpick: it's either Prior Incantato or Priori Incantatem (I think it would be the first here, as the HPL seems to say that the second is spontaneous when two wands with the same cores duel one another).
Anyway, that aside -- this was such a great chapter, and I'm glad I found the time to review! You definitely deserve those Kecker awards &heartsAuthor's Response: Hi again!!
Gaah I keep hearing things about this being like Devil Wears Prada, haha. But I see how the two are similar, so I can't gripe too much. Blakeslee's motivation is actually completely selfish; she wants to sell the most copies of her magazine that she can, and Edie happens to be necessary for that. I think I mentioned Edie recognizing that she'll only go so far as the articles will get her. ;3
Hahahahahaha. I guess Jae was just working with his best asset, which is his charm, to get them in the door and out of trouble with Mildred (unfortunately the latter wasn't having it.)
Dean and Seamus ♥ ♥ ♥ They're going to be on this CI, for the first time since chapter one, and I am weirdly excited for it!
Edie's just trying to be the bigger person. Rose is obviously immature and vindictive, but she's no Voldemort. Also, Edie agreed to write the article. She could have said no to Rose, but she wanted to feel important, and did something illegal. She never signed a contract, so it was all under the table and not legally upheld. I guess I just put myself in Edie's shoes while writing this scene. Edie was getting something great out of the deal with Blakeslee, so why take Rose down?
I actually really like writing Blakeslee! She's a career-driven person, and obviously has enough good in her to remember Edie's name and not fire her on the spot. But, again, WW is the most important thing to her, so I'm afraid she'd always put that first.
I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I THOUGHT OF JAE TRYING TO FLIRT HIS WAY OUT OF TROUBLE WITH MILDRED. And that's not the only instance where the old broad will be pitted up against a cute boy ;3
Thank you for your mini-nitpick! I have edited it in my Word document, and will correct it when I upload the new CI. Thanks so much for your kind words, Val! ♥ Report Review
I am so mad at Rose, I think I'm in danger of demolishing my house solely with my fists.
I really hope Oliver plays a part in bringing her down. I mean, as much as I want victory to be Edie's, he could atone for being such a berk in earlier chapters by helping her.
But now I am laughing so hard about the farting shoes thing omg
Edie's brothers! Eee. They seem like a handful. But also nice.
Also. My feelings about Oliver really fluctuate. He is not in my good books after this chapter! Taking Edie's brothers to a strip club, what is he thinking?!? I'm glad, though, that you didn't play Edie slapping Oliver for laughs; so often it is, in media, when you'd never see a man hitting a woman played for laughs. I hope Oliver does something to atone for his behaviour in a later chapter!
Brilliant, as always, but SERIOUSLY messing with my emotions ♥Author's Response: JULIA SMAAASH!!! Apparently Rose is responsible for several demolitions, including my desk-chair, which I want to throw at the wall when thinking of her. Actually in a twisted way, I really like Rose. She's fun to write!
Oliver is quite aloof as to what's going on between Edie and Rose. He's so focused on QuidditchQuidditchQuidditchQuidditchFoodQuidditchQuidditch that he probably hasn't noticed a thing. But you'll be surprised by what he does pick up on ;3
I really really want to find a way to include her brothers again! This chapter seems a bit out of place, but I needed to give her a reason to go into the interview angry with Oliver. Doing something that hits so close to home, like behaving this way around her brothers, was important. They will definitely make a reapperance, I'm just not sure exactly when.
I'm glad your feelings about Oliver are fluctuating. HANG ON TO THAT FEELING DON'T LET GO DON'T START HATING HIM AGAIN! And you're right about the slap-trope. I was so, so, SO worried about including it, but it 1) shows how impulsive Edie is, 2) shows how upset she was, 3) puts a reall strain on their "relationship." (Hey have you noticed that I over-analyze and overthink everything related to this story at all?)
Thanks so much, SERIOUSLY! All of your reviews have been so amazing!!! ♥ Report Review
Switched from Laura Marling to some truly miserable James Blake piano noodling to reflect how sad I feel on Edie's behalf. Stop torturing her, you heartless author!
I know Lisa wants the best for me. But I don't want to be patted on the cheek and told that my time will come. - YES RIGHT ON EDIE YES YES YES!! You tell Lisa! You tell everyone! Not all women have some 'marriage and babies' instinct! (And now I'm soapboxing too, but even at a considerably younger age than Edie, I get this from my friends too a lot, and it gets my goat)
Edie: The Feminist. I like it a lot! She's the first OC I've come across in a long time who I can wholly identify with, and who feels so, uh...real. Like, I can imagine her being someone I know, if you know what I mean? And I am proud of her politics! Go Edie!
I think I want Rose to take a long walk off a short pier now.
EDIE BETTER TELL BLAKESLEE AND GET ROSE FIRED OK or I will NOT be a happy bunny.
♥ (but I am also raging at everyone because poor wee Edie is so mistreated)Author's Response: Hahahaha, I'm glad you've found some music that encompasses how awful I'm making Edie's life! It's pretty mean of me, eh?
YES YOU CAN RELATE TO EDIE YES YES YES This makes me so happy. Seriously. I just want her to be real. And I was concerned that nobody would be able to relate to her because I (rather foolishly) assumed that everyone else my age had quit reading fic, and that all the readers would be much much younger. I don't mean that in a sense that younger people can't relate to older characters and vice-versa, but I was afraid that it wouldn't "hit home" because nobody would be in Edie's life situation.
♥ to you too! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection