Reading Reviews for One of the Boys
103 Reviews Found

Review #26, by slightlyobsessedwithfanfiction Interrogations and Interests

31st August 2013:
HalloOoOoOoOoOoOoOowa! (cool way to say hello no? :P)

I'm sorry i haven't commented in such a long time :( i'm a terrible person ;( you have a right to hate me.. please don't.. or i might cry... OUINnNnNnNnN (see i'm crying already)

ok.. rhem rhem... back to the story. This is so good!!! I love this so much... and i know the last time i left a comment i said that i really like Chase (maybe a bit too much if you get my drift :P) but he seems to be becoming a bit of a bum .. sorry for the horrible language.. i'm sorry... that was completely inappropriate

hehehe... i know. i am crazy. deal with it. or don't. your choice. this. is. a. lot. of. punctuation.

ok... back on track... STOP DISTRACTING ME!! hehehe sorry... i can't really blame you :P
Ok, so maybe no to Chase unless he changes a bit. and right now i'm thinking YES to Albus. But not Finn because they have a great bro/gangsta realtionship. But i can really picture Albus and Ella together.. don't ask me why.. i don't really know... maybe because he is charming :P

Now, i shall follow your request and answer your questions... Wait for it.

1) LOVED how the guys got off page so quickly and changed their position about the whole dating thing quickly. DISLIKED.. well... honestly. nothing. Gurl if you want me to dislike something... write badly! ;)

2) Well you know my opinion about this.. and my whole comment is already an essay so maybe i should let this one be a short one

3)Hehe Mrs Norris the Second.. cracked me up there

4) Now... you could write a thesis about this... i mean Where do i START??? let me give just a few examples then. things that are hard to do when you are cold and stuck on a broomstick: stand on one foot (preferably on your tippy toes) and pose like a flamingo, go skinny dipping (obviously.. since we're standing on a broom.. but then again. the cold could be due to our temporary state of undress :P ... does that make any sense?), make a cheese souffle whilst at the same doing the jump from dirty dancing, and finally.. maybe just standing on a broom when it's cold... there you go. hope you enjoyed that

5) my mom makes a killer mushroom soup during the christmas holidays.. it's to DIE for seriously... i'm salivating just thinking about it. for me the winners of each category are soup (vs stew), between piping hot and lukewarm.. with a twinge of "Oh MY Gosh I Burned My Tongue", and of course.. homemade.

but now that you know all these intimate details about me? what about you?
flip flops vs. bare feet? elephants vs. penguins? french pickles vs. british pickles? harry potter vs. Noddy (haha who am i kidding?)? piano vs. guitar? and as a last one... homemade applesauce vs. freshly mowed grass?

Wow... i just wrote the longest comment i've ever written.. you should feel honored... and probably exhausted too if you read everything. :P

Write quickly please! Love your story :D

A completely normal person :)

(okay enough with the caps lock...)
honestly your comments are so funny and strangely beautiful bc they remind me of my inner thought process. I really enjoyed all your answers to my strange questions! and to answer yours... flip-flops give me blisters, penguins, pickles are gross, if my answer wasn't hp why would i even be here, piano, and applesauce.
thanks for your support!!! i'll try to write as much as possible before i am seduced by my AP us history textbook! (haha so much work to do... yeesh.)
(ps- are you perhaps a marcus butler fan? he's a british youtuber. your hello strongly suggests the fact...)

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Review #27, by **Ella** Interrogations and Interests

20th August 2013:
Liked it all but I've never been a fan of Chase and Ella. Much prefer Finn or Al.
Loved the interrogation. Not much more to say on that.
I like fillers. They crack me up and mostly I read them at 2 am when I'm half loopy with exhaustion.
Please update soon and I'll review again!!

Author's Response: thats when you read them? that's literally when i write them (and the rest of this thing...)
haha thanks for r/r! I'll update soon i hope! i'm just lazy and back in school :(
xox Jilly

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Review #28, by Anna Hanen Interrogations and Interests

10th August 2013:
I shall reveal my thoughts of Chase and Ella.

I think they are the perfect portrayal of a lovesick couple, haha. More so Ella then Chase. BUT I ship Ella/Al mostly because with Al she is his equal and friend and can talk to him about anything. With Chase it's all flirting and mushiness. Al is just my long time favorite. You have a lovely story! UPDATE SOON!

Author's Response: Very glad to read your insightful revelations, I was.
I shall indeed be updating soon. Never fear.
Jilly (acting all formal for some reason-- wth? im the most casual cat ever)

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Review #29, by Lobellia Sackville-Baggins Interrogations and Interests

10th August 2013:
Ooooh...sounds like Al knows something about Chase that we don't know -- "keep your eyes open"? Huh. Interesting.
Lovely, as always, dear!

Author's Response: interesting indeed. . .
thanks for r/r!

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Review #30, by themissingweasley Interrogations and Interests

7th August 2013:
you updated this chapter on my birthday and that's when I found and read the whole fic
you've had me back, checking for an update everyday since and I need one omg
I love it
Ella is just so casual with the boys I don't understand how she does it (on the pull)

Author's Response: well then HAPPY BIRRRTHDAAY TO YOU! (pretend i sung that...)
so glad you like it!
and ik man! I go to an all girls school so the appearance of a male humanoid my age makes me turn into a lovely bowl of awkward sauce. So Ella is the anti-Jilly in that case, I guess.
i'll update soon, don't you worry!
xoxo Jilly

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Review #31, by RosemaryP Interrogations and Interests

3rd August 2013:
This is great! I love Ella and Albus, I have totally shipped them together, ugh, forget about Chase, he's a pimp ;p You're a really talented writer, this is actually quite amusing and rather entertaining :) Keep it up, and get updating soon or I may melt due to withdrawal...

Author's Response: hahaha thanks! I'm so glad to hear what you think!
(I've actually got a 3/4 done chapter open atm and a bunch of updated versions of the current 11 to post... so much work!)
thanks for r/r!!!
xox Jilly

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Review #32, by Caroline YOLO LOLZ AND HUGS! Interrogations and Interests

3rd August 2013:
Hi if I could ask you to do something that would be awesome! Maybe you could add some different point of views (Finn, and Chace preferably)? Also some crushes from the team? And how about some more midnight kitchen raids? I would love,love, love if you could use at least one of these!

Author's Response: thanks for the input, but i'm gonna be sticking with my gut on this one! OotB is going to be in first person throughout, so Ella's in charge of all the narration. As for the other things, well, all good things come to those who wait :)
keep reading and look for new updates!!
xoxo Jilly

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Review #33, by lost and broken Interrogations and Interests

2nd August 2013:
I love that Ella wears high-tops.
I haven't read other people's reviews, so I don't know what other people have been saying, but I am not a fan of Chase. I think he's a tool and I don't like that he's taking up Ella's boy bonding time.
I kind of think that Ella and Finn would be adorable together.
A pleasure to read, as always.

Author's Response: hahaha yes everything you said is quite common with the other readers, but it's good for me to be able to see what is the most popular opinion, so don't worry about that!
Thanks again for all your lovely reviews! Stay tuned for updates!
xoxo Jilly

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Review #34, by lost and broken Girls' Night and Gossip

2nd August 2013:
This was a fun little chapter. It was nice to see El have some girl bonding time. I'm glad that Rose will be making more of an appearance in the future. I look forward to seeing what happens next. A pleasure to read, as always.

Author's Response: thanks for all your awesome feedback! Keep reading!

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Review #35, by lost and broken Hogsmeade and Hufflepuffs

2nd August 2013:
Absolutely love your writing style. Super hilarious and fun. This is such a joy to read.

Author's Response: Awww thanks!!!
xox J

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Review #36, by wildberry Interrogations and Interests

2nd August 2013:
Haha, I love this so far! I don't like Chase, honestly. I prefer Ella/Finn or Ella/Al. Can't wait for an update!

Author's Response: thanks! oh you don't like chase, do you? you may be one smart cookie...
(gasp i've said to much!)
xoxo Jils

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Review #37, by Bubbles Interrogations and Interests

31st July 2013:
Good job on this chapter!!

Author's Response: :D

(sometimes my lack of intelligent things to say is astounding...)

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Review #38, by Starry_Eyed Princess and Practice

30th July 2013:
Hell week, lol sounds like every week of school sports for me. Anyway, still good. Nice and short, and some sort of sleep over that implies awkward gender breaching experiences. :)

Author's Response: Ahaha I feel you man-- currently going through the cross country version of hell week (sigh)
thanks for the lovely reviews!

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Review #39, by Starry_Eyed Tryouts and Teapots

30th July 2013:
Hmm, I like it so far. I love the stories where a girl is the lone girl in a boys club, and she gets insight on there dynamic, while adding her own personality.

Author's Response: Ooh thanks! Me too kiddo. Hope you keep reading, and thanks for the review!!!

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Review #40, by willow1 Interrogations and Interests

22nd July 2013:
If it is Ella/Chase I will stop reading. Understand? Good.
On a different note your writing is fabulous and you MUST keep updating!

Author's Response: hahaha you better keep reading then . . .
and thanks! i'm working on it!

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Review #41, by AHeat Interrogations and Interests

16th July 2013:
I liked it. I haven't been reading recently, or writing much for that matter, and even though we all have loads of free time on our hands I feel like HPFF during the summer isn't as active as one might imagine.
Anyways, keep it up! I can't wait to see where this is going. I really wanted one of the guys to be jealous of her dating someone else (Finn maybe? PLEASE?!), but I guess the Davies situation looks like it might work out. Please try to update soon, I know it's hard without a laptop, but you are such a good writer and this story is so addicting!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! (what? jealous? i wasn't planning on making anyone jealous. pffft that's ridiculous.)
I'll try! I attempted to get my laptop back from school this morning, but there wasn't anyone in the IR (internet resources) department to give it back to me :( :( I have a couple scenes written out on paper as well, but it's much quicker for me to type so i haven't got much.
Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing!
xoxo Jilly

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Review #42, by Roots in Water Antics and Afternoons

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

So now Ella has a crush on Chase Davies? Wow... That was quick! Just last chapter she was trying to convince herself that she didn't like him... It's times like these where it would be great to be able to see more of her thought process!

I really liked this chapter because it did a great job of showing the growing friendship between the team. The insulting commentary, the pranks/antics of 007 and the rest of the team... They really show the level of their friendship!

I also liked the insight into Ella's thoughts about them. Seeing them all as her friends is great, even if society doesn't like to believe that it is possible. I hope that she continues to show everyone just how much she can be a "part of the gang" and I hope no one starts to spread rumours about her.

I understand why Dominique is concerned, though- she's just worried for her best friend. Hopefully her concerns will turn out to be unfounded, though.

I also liked how you wrote them studying at the beginning of the chapter. Even though they eventually abandonned it to play rescuers to their poor trapped teammates, it shows that academics is a part of their lives and that they do work on their schoolwork... Occasionally. I also liked the reference to Neville. :)

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this chapter! It was an enjoyable read! :D

Author's Response: Yes, yes she does. Her attempts to stop herself from liking him were kinda half-hearted and... it didn't happen.
I'm so glad that you liked the chapter (and the whole thing!) Thank you so much for all of your FANTABULOUS questions and comments-- i'm DEFINITELY going to be referring to them when i go back to edit the story (as soon as i get my laptop back... :P) . You can count on some more Ella thoughts, an added scene or two, and maybe a bit more schoolwork in the newly edited version! (and of course a personal shoutout showering you in praise and glory.)

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Review #43, by Roots in Water Transfiguration and Tutors

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

I really liked how you've added an extra layer to this story. The plot line I can see developping with Chase Davies promises to be quite interesting... (And is Davies related to Roger Davies?) :P

I really, really liked how you brought the story into the classroom in this chapter. The little mention you'd given earlier in this story made it so that her talent for Transfiguration wasn't completely out of the blue (though a few more references to her academics would also be nice). I liked how you had her tutor Ryan with that one spell- it made McGonagall's offer more reasonable. I would have liked to see more details about how exactly she helped him, though - just watching her wouldn't be completely helpful if he couldn't get if before from watching McGongall. Perhaps she could direct him verbally through the actions?

Chase Davies, Chase Davies... The little scene at the end of the chapter was very interesting. So he's flirting with her... And he's known as a flirt himself. I can only imagine that he doesn't have the best of intentions, but unfortunately Ella will be stuck with him for the forseeable future. He's probably going to try and sabotage the Gryffindor Quidditch team through her... *eyes Chase suspiciously*

I liked the more active role Dominique had in this chapter. It made their friendship seem more real and more equitable, instead of Dom just supporting Ella in everything Quidditch.

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this chapter. I certainly enjoyed reading it! (And now I'm really curious to read on). Good work! :D

Author's Response: layers like a layer cake! Yum!
(i forgot to mention before.) Mr. Wood is Oliver. I figured he would've retired from Quidditch by now. And Chase is Roger's son.
Dom is definitely going to be playing a bigger role in the future, never fear. Ella's boy drama brings out the best in her.
(hands up) ahhh you got me! yesh was it that predictable?
Thanks for the suggestions!
virtual hugs and butterfly kisses,
Your Jilly
(i really hope you've seen AVPM, or that reference just sounds really creepy...)

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Review #44, by Roots in Water Crazy Girls and Campfires

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

This was certainly a nice chapter- it was good to see them interacting outside of Quidditch. :) And their meal certainly sounds delicious: marshmellows and chocolate and all sorts of yummy candy!

As I said before, it was great to see them interacting outside of Quidditch. Reading about them having fun together, laughing and chatting and having a good time, made the bond between them come alive a lot more, made it seem more real. However, I think that you could make it even more present by having Ella describe her thoughts about them more often. Your chapters are often filled with action (very appropriately), but not quite as much with emotion. I know Dominique's more of the emotion gal, but it would be great to see Ella's more personal thoughts about the guys.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team certainly seems to have its wildly fun moments. I can't believe the things that they're allowed to get away with- a bonfire on school grounds, near the forest? What would happen if it got out of control? You'd think that the teachers would have more of a tight watch on the kids... But maybe they're just indulgent of a winning team. :P

And Al's tactics do seem to be working. I'm sure that, although they may have some tough games, no one will be able to beat them (even if they spy on them like they did to the Hufflepuffs).

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this chapter. The fun everyone seems to be having was great to read and as a "filler" chapter I think it was necessary. You had the right idea about the team bonding! Great work! :D

Author's Response: Oh i love team bonding so so much and I'm glad you do too!
lack of emotions? never fear, Ella will quickly turn into an emotional lump come chapter... 10? Yeesh there's a lot of emotional drama in this gal's future.
Go Gryffindor!

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Review #45, by Roots in Water Hogsmeade and Hufflepuffs

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

Wow- the first Quidditch match of the season! I think that you did a good job of jumping right into the action and then continuing on with the quick pace. As everyone knows, Quidditch is a very, very fast-paced sport. I just wish that we'd been able to hear more details about the plays of the rest of the team. However, I suppose that Ella wasn't really concentrating on them. :P

I liked the references to characters we know and love from the books. Lee Jordan certainly was a great Quidditch commentator (quite funny) and was the Mr Wood mentioned here Oliver Wood? If it was, that would be fantastic! (Although it would mean that Oliver hadn't gone on to have a big career in Quidditch and then moved on to another great job). Perhaps it's his son.

I might have mentioned this before, but it would be great to see Ella interacting with not only the Quiddtich team but also everyone else outside of Quidditch related things, particularly because no one's life is solely about Quidditch. Even Oliver had to go to class. :P Interactions off the pitch would really help to round out her character - perhaps we could learn about her family? :)

However, perhaps a view into this team bonding exercise will work just as well. :D

The comments/insults at the beginning of the chapter were a nice insight into the competitive spirit that takes hold of Hogwarts before a Quidditch game. I'm just surprised that the Hufflepuffs were so nasty - perhaps it's another sign of how things have changed since Harry went to school. :P

I noticed one small typo as I was reading: with the phrase "while he was", "when" would work better than "while".

All in all, I think that you did a good job with this chapter and I'm now going to move on to the next! :D

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the match! Unfortunately, Ella wouldn't be able to concentrate much on the other team members without getting whacked by a Bludger. maybe i'll add a few sentences though...
Don't worry about too much Quidditch; a stretch of relatively Quidditch-less chapters commences after this one.
oh typo. awkward. thanks for pointing that out. I type most of this crap at 2 am (night owl much?) and sometimes i don't pick stuff like that up.
Thanks for your suggestions!!
xoxo Jils

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Review #46, by Roots in Water Spying and (Not) Studying

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

Another interesting chapter. Ella was so close to actually doing schoolwork... But then she was dragged away to Quidditch related things by Finn. Oh my gosh. How on earth will she pass Fifth Year? I picture an academic intervention in her future... (But seriously- doesn't she do things other than Quidditch? :P )

I was actually quite shocked when they went to spy on the Hufflepuff team. I mean, I can definitely understand the competitive spirit and the need to win, but I'd have thought that the Gryffindors would avoid doing something that could be seen as a "Slytherin" move. Spying on a rival team is awfully sneaky and close to cheating. Their notes didn't even look that detailed (but maybe you didn't include the juciest and most informative parts of them).

I think that you're doing a good job of building the friendship/relationship between Ella and Finn. They're spending more time together, so it's natural that they're becoming closer, and they're certainly comfortable with teasing each other. They both have a more childish and fun-loving personality, which makes it easy for them to have fun together.

Of course, the more time we read and thus are able to observe them, the deeper and more dimensional their personalities and characters will become. But right now they're just nice, humourous and fluffy characters. :)

All in all, I enjoyed this chapter. It was great to see Ella interacting more with the team, especially outside of an actual Quidditch practice. It definitely shows the bond that can grow between a team. Great work! :D

Author's Response: yay Finn and Ella!
Of course they do their schoolwork, but it's no fun to write about "The Adventures of Agent 007 and Bond Girl in Study Hall!" A secret mission to spy on the Hufflepuffs is much more amusing.
Yeah, sure, it's a slytherin move, but it was a good chance to show their relationship, and to size up the competition.
(Now that you're talking about my characters becoming deep and dimensional I'm freaking out that they aren't deep or dimensional at all. Oh dear.)
Thanks again for provoking my thoughts!

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Review #47, by Roots in Water Hell Week and Hazing

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

It's great to see more insight into Ella's mind, as well as her friendship with Dominique. It's nice to see that they definitely have an understanding and that even though Ella might find some of her quirks annoying (just as Dominique undoubtably finds some of hers), she understands and doesn't argue with her friend. She knows that Dom's just trying to be helpful.

The "Hell Week" was very interesting as well. I like how you included more description of the individual activities - I don't think that I could survive ten laps around the Quidditch pitch, much less that piled on top of dozens of other physical activities. It does make sense that she'd earn at least some part of their respect through physical activity- after all, that's probably what they were really doubting her on.

My one big concern is: how on Earth does this happen during the school year? Shouldn't their schoolwork be their first priority (yes, I'm more academic than athletic :P )? How can they fit their schoolwork into Hell Week, when it sounds like their every moment is spent being physical?

Not that Ella can't handle it. She sounds like an amazing athlete. But you should be careful that she's not too amazing at everything. Like it or not, beating boys at every single physical activity/challenge when the boys are equally athletic themselves is unlikely. Surely she didn't do as well with some of the activities! Perhaps, to make her seem more human, you could add in more description of her fatigue/how she's coping with the week. :)

All in all, this was another good chapter and now I'm on to the next! Good work! :D

Author's Response: (Dom: told you- i was just being helpful!
Ella: *sticks out tongue immaturely*)
Oh Hell week. to (attempt) to answer your fabulous questions:
--Hell week itself is just a normal practice time-wise, except conditioning takes up the length of the practice. so they've still got plenty of time for school. Sorry if that wasn't clear in the chapter. (Don't worry, school will threaten Quidditch in future chapters. the story's set in their OWL year for a reason (; )
--And of course, Ella isn't as good as the boys at everything (Ella: Shut UP, Jilly! you promised we wouldn't talk about those arm-wrestling contests!) I just mentioned the specific activities in which she beat the guys because they were the points where she used physical activity to prove herself worthy to them. And i tried to use activities (ex: running, swimming, sit-ups) in which it would be more realistic for a girl to beat a guy.
--I thought that I had some exhaustion in there (???) sorry if she's coming off as a superhuman tireless robot. Maybe I'll add a scene where she falls asleep in class... (Ella: Ooh yes! I choose History of Magic! Dom: No! You can't miss the lesson on Ministers of magic from 1300-1400!)
Thank you for you're insightful, thought provoking questions! They're helping me see my writing from another perspective and have given me lots of ideas of things to improve/add!

Sorry for the constant interruptions of Dom and Ella. they do that sometimes.
Much love, Jilly

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Review #48, by Roots in Water Princess and Practice

16th July 2013:
Hello there! (again)

Another Quidditch filled chapter- and this time we got to see how she interacts with the rest of the team!

I enjoyed reading this chapter - it was nice and light and very amusing. :) Ella shouldn't feel bad about being late - it was Al's fault for not giving her better directions. How was she supposed to know that they met in the back rooms before heading out onto the field? And to choose such a hidden location... No wonder she had difficulty finding them!

The practice itself seemed interesting. The Seeker drill had obvious use, as did all of the others, and I really liked how you used the drill to allow for conversation between her and Finn. It was nice to learn more about the team (though I can't promise that I'll remember all of their names just yet).

Their conversation also answered one of my questions, which was why she hadn't tried out for Quidditch before. I can understand wanting to practice more before trying out - but four years of practice is a lot. Maybe she also had to build up her confidence. :P

I'd say that I was surprised by her outburst at Finn, which came out of seemingly nowhere, but I think that it fits in with her personality, which is already making itself evident. As well, Finn's comment was just a little too pointed for her to ignore. Geez- what is it with people underestimating a female's athletic ability? :P

I would have been interested to see more of the practice, though. It seemed short, and I didn't get a great grasp of how a typical practice would go. it would have been great to see more of their drills and to see how Al acts and directs as their captain... But I suppose there's more time for that later. :P

All in all, this was another enjoyable chapter and now I'm off to read the next one! Good work! :D

Author's Response: (for some reason I skipped this review whilst on an answering spree this summer...) so THANKS A MILLION (again) for your awesome reviews! I hope you've been keeping up with the latest chapters, and I can't wait to hear what you have to say about them!!!

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Review #49, by Roots in Water Tryouts and Teapots

16th July 2013:
Hello there!

Oooh- what an interesting start! Though it's not my favourite genre, I always do like a good sports story (especially those about the underdog) and this is promising to fit into that category quite nicely!

Your summary caught my eye- only girl on a Quidditch team? I can already see some of the challenges and prejudices she will face. After all, there were some slights directed towards her today based on her gender. I hope that she proves to everyone just how good of a Seeker she really is!

I think that you did a good job of writing the Quidditch scene in this chapter. Writing action scenes can be difficult (I know I have problems with it), especially since you really have to make it seem like everything is happening quickly while still giving enough detail. I think that you did a good job because, while the action seemed to happen quickly, I could still visualize Ella on her broom, zooming around the Quiddich field.

I was a little surprised, though, that the tryouts for Seeker were so short. I would have thought that Albus would release the Snitch numerous times and see who had the best capture rate - just in case the first catch was a fluke/a very lucky one. I'm curious to learn your reasoning behind the Seeker tryouts. :)

All in all, I was very intrigued by your first chapter and I'm heading right off to the second one now. Ella has an interesting, spitfire personality and I'd like to see how she acts in class as well. :P Good work! :D

this chain of huge review in my account--- it's shocking that i'm not dancing with joy. THANK YOU!
yeah i guess the whole seeker tryouts was kinda... ehh. (my vocabulary is stunning, i know.) But it was the first chapter i wrote, and it could use some editing for sure. thanks for pointing that out!

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Review #50, by Crazy101 Interrogations and Interests

13th July 2013:
ok,ok! I fell for your pleads to review! Here's a bit of advice- you might wanna make your chapters longer. Don't get me wrong!*cowers* I loOoOoOove your story! NO! DONT HATE ME! I LOVE YOUR STORY!!! UPDATE SOON!!!

Author's Response: haha yes victory! yeah, my chapters are short, but i guess i kinda like short chapters because then you have easy stopping points for when you have to take a break to go do important things like eat lunch and stuff. And i'll try! THANKS FOR THE REVIEW BTDUBS- DAY MADE!
xoxo Jils

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