Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
110 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MinervaMac 

19th August 2015:
Great first chapter, it really captures the feelings and emotions of that awful time ...yet you can feel the hope for the future...Well done! I'm really looking forward to following your story.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. It makes me so happy that you felt it could convey those feelings. It wasn't the easiest chapter to write so thank you for your kind words about it. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will continue to enjoy this! Xx

 Report Review

Review #27, by Barbara 

18th August 2015:
You got me hooked. Can't wait to see what
happens!

Author's Response: I'm so happy to hear that! I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will continue to enjoy the story!! Xx

 Report Review

Review #28, by Johnathan Crawley 

7th August 2015:
Omg! This chapter!!! I felt the ... The relief of it all being over. I felt the pain of Fred being gone. I felt the love of all the witches and wizards that were still alive and staying at a broken Hogwarts. Can't wait to read the rest... Brilliant

Author's Response: I am SO happy that you liked this chapter that much. That it made you feel all those things.. well, that's all you hope for, really, when you write something, so thank you so, so much for telling me, and for reading and reviewing the story xxx

 Report Review

Review #29, by Owlpost68 

23rd July 2015:
This was really really good! And I only found just a few errors, things like a missing letter or something, here they are:

"All of their faces reflecred"- t instead of r

"Harrys made a paus"- Harry's and add an e

"scrubbed the blood of the desks."- off

This was really a great way to write it. I have a story like it but I didn't know how to go about writing it from different points of view. This helps a lot!
Thanks

Author's Response: I am so glad you liked it!

Thank you so much for pointing out those errors, I will make sure to fix them when I get the chance. And that's really cool that you can find inspiration from this - I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed this xx


 Report Review

Review #30, by Magenta 

19th July 2015:
I was literally crying buckets while reading about Fred's funeral. It was so sad and depressing! This is currently the only story that has made me cry, especially so early on!

Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry that it made you cry.. But I'll take it as a huge compliment! Thank you so much for telling me, and for reading and reviewing the story xx

 Report Review

Review #31, by wajeeha saman 

9th July 2015:
This was amazing... You made me cry especially at the end. I still can not forgive JK Rowling for killing Fred 😢😢

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Sorry for making you cry though.. but I'll take it as a compliment. And I feel you! I don't think I'll ever get over that either... x

 Report Review

Review #32, by Everthehopeful 

8th July 2015:
The sheer feels in this. I'm literally in agony over Fred again and then there's all the strain. You do well when you show how hurt they are. And poor George! He was so in shock that he thought of the shop first. I hope guilt doesn't eat him...

Author's Response: I'm so glad it could make you feel something. That's the biggest compliment I could get, I think, so thank you!!! Yes, poor George indeed. He was definitely shocked. And he'll never really get over losing Fred...

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing xx


 Report Review

Review #33, by Henry Daivs 

2nd July 2015:
Absolutely beautifully written, it reduced me to tears multiple times

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so, so much. It makes me so happy that you liked it xxx

 Report Review

Review #34, by Siriuslover177 

22nd June 2015:
Okay, now that I am finally done crying... That was so good. The emotion was so real. I was holding back tears right when I first started reading this chapter. It was just so amazing written with the descriptions, and seeing that English isn't your first language just blows my mind. So well, good job.

I am really excited to read this, I haven't read any story about what happened RIGHT after the war, so this will be a big change for me. And seeing that you have my sucked in within the first chapter, I think I am going to really love this story.

Really good job
-Sarah

Author's Response: Hi! First off, let me say THANK YOU so much for these incredible reviews you left me! It always makes me so happy when people share their thoughts about each chapter and logging in to find a whole bunch of them from you brought the biggest smile on my face! it means so much to me that you've taken the time to write them all.

Secondly, thank you so much for your kind words in this one. I'm so happy that you enjoyed the chapter and that it could actually touch you like that - it's very difficult to write these really sad emotions but it's so amazing when people say they've really come across in the words, to thank you! I'm so excited for you to keep reading (and for me to read the rest of your reviews). I'm keeping my fingers crossed you will continue to enjoy the story.

Thank you again xxx


 Report Review

Review #35, by Arnav Sethi 

3rd May 2015:
Awesome piece of work. Really loved it and the fact that It made me quite emotional. Thank you for that experience.

Author's Response: Thank YOU for your kind words, it means so much that you enjoyed it that much. And thank you also for reading and for taking the time to leave this review, I appreciate it so much xx

 Report Review

Review #36, by Tonks_Ginny_Luna_Neville 

29th March 2015:
brilliant! I wouldn't have known that English wasn't your first language, you're a great writer by the way!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That makes me so happy xx

 Report Review

Review #37, by dumbledore_wannabe 

18th March 2015:
I love the idea for this book, and enjoyed this chapter. Just saw that you said English is not your first language. You write it beautifully!! (Much better, in fact, than many I know who are native English speakers.) I did notice a few unusual phrases, but they don't take a single thing away from the story. :)

Author's Response: Aw, that makes me so happy! Thank you so, so much for your kind words. It means a lot! Thank you and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will continue to enjoy the story xx

 Report Review

Review #38, by Michael 

3rd March 2015:
Hey, this is the same Michael that left the "monster review" earlier. I'm going to log my thoughts on each chapter by being as specific as possible - partly for my own benefit as a writer, but also because I enjoy your story. I'd love to help you improve in the edits you may make.

So from the beginning, everything is perfect up until Harry singles out Ginny as the source of his guilt. While it may hurt Harry MORE to see Ginny in pain than the other Weasleys, you cannot ignore he is very close to all of them. Their grief as a family - a family that had taken him in as if he were another Weasley child when he was alone - probably pains Harry greatly. You understand his undeserving nature. Harry would definitely feel guilty, but because he thinks he caused the whole family to suffer by not finishing Voldemort sooner, not just Ginny. Perhaps it wouldn't be bad to mention how Ginny's pain especially made him feel sick to his stomach.

I love the idea of bringing Andromeda into the scene, but why is she really there? I didn't catch this until my second read, so it's not too big. But really it is nice to have solid continuity. I kind of figured McGonnagall had notified Andromeda because Lupin and Tonks were a a part of the Order.

Next, you make the mistake of letting a side-character act as the voice of reason. Dennis Creevey, who is still a kid, would definitely not mention how you have to expect casualties in a war when his older brother died. He would probably be a wreck. I DO like what he says to Harry, though - about how he can see why Colin always saw Harry as a hero. And the sad smile was a nice touch.

Onto the speech. McGonnogall's little introduction seemed almost sly and underhanded to me. Not at all the McGonnogall I know haha. Something about opening with "My friends." right after a war feels like a shady political move in an attempt to seize power. And "We cannot fully rejoice the victory when we look around and see its price" is a great line for a post-war power-grab speech, again. The problem is not that it's a bad line, but it's too good to be believable in this spontaneous speech scene. The same goes for Harry's final line, but I love everything else he says. I think it would be perfectly fine if he awkwardly finished with "And we will rebuild Hogwarts again." Maybe include some filler "Er-" or "Um-" to really show his awkward side. This is tricky because you have to reveal Harry's sincerity, but veil it with his awkwardness (because, let's face it, he is awkward at times, right?). And as a side note, I feel as if the magical voice amplification is unnecessary. You said the castle was dead silent from the lack of paintings, and I doubt a grieving crowd would be very tumultuous. Also, I just like the idea of a spontaneous, magic-free speech. The magic in this scene comes from what is said and the sincerity of it, not the magical microphone. (But here I'm nitpicking).

The whole scene with Ginny and Harry alone was way too strong, in my opinion. Keep in mind they are teenagers. I like the idea that Ginny was shattered when she saw "dead" Harry, but that doesn't solidify anything between them. Teenage relationships will always be unpredictable and they probably know it.

I'm glad to see Neville, but I don't like how he only cares about his grandmother's approval at this point. I think that was more a part of his insecure childhood, with the embarrassment of his insane parents and all. In year 7, I think he has matured to where he doesn't live for his grandmother's approval. He just acts from the heart, and his grandmother approves. There's also got to be some degree of self-pride. Even though he's far from arrogant, Neville has fought for far more than himself throughout his entire seventh year. After being shy and ridiculed for so long, he deserves more than to lapdog for his grandmother's kind words.

I love to see this other side of Percy, but the details are a bit fuzzy. When exactly did this occur? I don't have much feedback to give here, I'm just left curious for more.

The George-Ginny scene is pretty good all-round. I really like how you added how special the twins are to Ginny. It really makes the relationship come alive. The whole thing is very believable.

On the whole, I find you're very good at conveying your thoughts through description - through the narrator, let's say. And your control over the characters is strongest when they're described rather than speaking. If you can bring that same control into their dialogue, you're golden. The biggest problem with your dialogue writing is that you prioritize the story over the character. The character has no obligation to the plotline and is completely oblivious to it. Keep character motives and emotions in mind when writing dialogue, then try and fit what you need to say around that character mold.

Well, I certainly learned a lot simply by explaining what I felt from reading, so I hope it helps you at least half as much, haha. And this time I had a computer handy. It took me less than a half hour to type this. :P

Author's Response: Hi again Michael! I'm glad you found a computer this time, that must have made this a little easier for you. But nonetheless, it amazes me that you took the time to write all of this. I don't think I can thank you enough.

You make such a good point about Harry and the Weasleys. The way it's written now, it neglects the fact that they have all been like his family. I mean, there's the woman who's been the closest thing he's had to a mother growing up, having lost one of her sons... He'd definitely feel guilty about all of them, though maybe in a different way with Ginny. I'll make sure to change it when I edit because i totally agree with you.

Also, very good points about the speeches. I've never been very happy with how they turned out and I've always intended to change them. I agree with what you say about both McGonagall and Harry. I can see your point about a non-magic speech as well. I just figured the Great Hall was too big for that, but again, you do make a valid point. I'll have to think about that one!

In my mind, Andromeda would rush to the castle as soon as she heard the battle was over, and that this is where she would learn about Tonks and Lupin. I will definitely expand that when I edit this chapter, though. I have Harry looking back on it very briefly in ch. 50 but I think it should be included here as well. I hope that will justify her showing up.

Maybe you're right about Neville too, and that he's no longer looking for his grandmother's approval. I just always thought of him as someone who was really surprised when he did something well, and I think that is something that will stick with him. (As you may notice, I have him express that later on when he gets the job at Hogwarts - he's surprised that someone would want him to be a professor, but as the others point out, he was really great at Herbology.) But I will definitely try to change it up a little bit because I agree that he doesn't act just because he wants to please his Gran anymore - he does act from the heart now - but I still think he'd be very excited if she'd express her pride to him. She's obviously the kind of woman who doesn't do that for nothing.

I might be able to clear things up about time etc. regarding the scene with Percy. I'm glad you liked seeing his new side. And the George-Ginny scene. I always imagined Ginny having a very special relationship to the twins.

That's a very good point about dialogue and something I will definitely try tro apply when I edit as well. I'm so glad this could help you too because it's been a MASSIVE help to me and you've opened my eyes to so many things here. I really don't like going back to these early chapters because I'm not very happy with them, but this has motivated me to edit and hopefully make it a little better. Thank you so, SO much for this. I appreciate it more than I can say xx


 Report Review

Review #39, by Kiwi14 

19th February 2015:
I love it! Your English is great as well. I've always wondered what happened in those years between the end of the battle and the Epilogue. Thanks for taking the time to write it down. The only thing I would say that I didn't like was that Harry declared his love for Ginny. I feel like that should have come later on. It seems insensitive to the Weaseleys for Harry to do that and I don't think he would have. Great chapter otherwise!

Author's Response: That makes me so happy! Thank you. I wondered about this time period myself which is what got me started on writing this story. I definitely see your point about Harry and GInny and will keep it in mind when I go back and edit. Thank you so much for your input, and for reading and reviewing x

 Report Review

Review #40, by ForeverHogwarts1 

3rd February 2015:
It's crazy English isn't your first language... you sure fooled me.

All I have to say is wow. Great first chapter. Really heartfelt, had me crying within the first few paragraphs. I can't wait to read more chapters! great job! I'm a big fan.

Author's Response: Haha, great to hear!

I am so, so happy you enjoyed this first chapter - especially since I sometimes cringe while looking back. So happy you liked it though and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will enjoy the rest of the story as well. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing x


 Report Review

Review #41, by Forevermoree 

26th January 2015:
Love it! The whole Ginny declaring her love for Harry was a bit too intense for me right off the bat, but other than that I love it! Will definitely continue reading! Thank you!

Author's Response: That makes me very happy! I totally see your point about the Ginny/Harry scene and I'll give it a second thought the next time I go back and edit. Thank you so much for the suggestion and your kind words. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you will continue to enjoy the story x

 Report Review

Review #42, by AnnieFan 

23rd December 2014:
This is a pretty story!. I just love it. Please go on!!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm so glad to hear that you like it :) I hope you'll continue to enjoy it!

xx


 Report Review

Review #43, by Happiness 

21st December 2014:
English is not your first language!What? I loved this so much😊SO MUCH!!😊Great jod! Awesome😊

Author's Response: Aw, thank you sooo much. I feel so flattered you didn't notice that about the language.And I'm thrilled that you enjoyed this chapter that much :) Thank you!

xx


 Report Review

Review #44, by Pookha 

21st December 2014:
No language errors that I noticed, and I'm fairly strict that way. It's so nice to come back to HPFF and find quality fanfic still lives.

This is one of the best stories I've read in a while and it's so nice to see someone trying to stay canon while telling a missing moments story. Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Author's Response: That's good to hear. And wow, thank you so, so much for all your kind words. I'm thrilled to hear you're enjoying it that much so far, and will keep my fingers crossed that you'll continue to :) Thank you again!

xx


 Report Review

Review #45, by Michael 

14th December 2014:
I only noticed one typo near the top, but I can't find it again; I never would have guessed that English is not your first language. Just that first chapter moved me to tears at Harry's speech. Though I'm not big into fanfic, I hope that doesn't diminish my high opinion of your work. Very well done!

Author's Response: I'll re-read this chapter and check for the typo - thank you for telling me, and thank you so much for saying the language is good! That makes me so happy. Thank you so, so much for your kind words. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you'll continue to enjoy the story.

xx


 Report Review

Review #46, by Saana 

6th December 2014:
Well, yeah.. There are a few errors, but considering English is not your first language.. You've done a pretty good job. I love your storyline and the way you write.. Just make sure you bring the same humour to the things that Ron says as Jo had brought..

Author's Response: Thank you, that makes me very happy! Yes, I'll keep that in mind for Ron - this isn't a very humorous chapter though - he just lost his brother ;) THank you so much for reading and reviewing.

xx


 Report Review

Review #47, by I'd rather not reveal it. 

23rd September 2014:
You write just like J.K. Rowling. I love your story already and i'm only on the first chapter!

Author's Response: Wow, what a compliment! Thank you so much. I'm so happy to hear you're enjoying it so far! :)

xx


 Report Review

Review #48, by Caius 

3rd September 2014:
Wow. I usually read comedy fics, but this one was very emotional and actually managed to touch me. Nice job, I haven't read such a good first drama chapter to a fanfic. Ofcourse it helps that I am already in love with these characters, but they were very well depicted too.

Author's Response: I'm very happy that you decided to give this drama story a chance, and so flattered that you also liked it! Thank you so much for your kind words. If you decide to come back for more drama I hope you'll continue to enjoy it!

Thank you for reading and reviewing!

xxx


 Report Review

Review #49, by HannahGranger 

7th August 2014:
Great start! I noticed you spelled pause "paus" but other than that, I see no grammatical problems. One other point- if this is the morning directly after the battle, the sun had already come up by the time Voldemort had been defeated... don't mean to nitpick but thought I'd point it out. Really looking forward to reading more!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm very happy that you enjoyed it! And please, feel free to nitpick - any advice helps me make this better and I appreciate it so much! I intend to go back and edit soon and I will definitely keep this in mind. Thank you for reading, and for taking the time to write this review. I hope you will continue to enjoy the story!

xx


 Report Review

Review #50, by zealousVisionary 

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I've heard about this story and have been wanting to read it for awhile now, and I'm certainly glad I finally got started on it!

This story was very good in many ways. The writing flowed very well (your English is great, by the way), and the characterization was done very well.

I've often wondered what the time right after the battle had ended would be like, and this chapter was actually pretty similar to what I'd imagine it to be. It was so sad to read about the characters reacting to the deaths of their friends and families.

Overall, I enjoyed this chapter very much, and I can't wait to read about what happens next!

Author's Response: I'm so happy you gave this a try too!

I'm thrilled to hear that you liked this chapter. I guess most of us imagined what happened after the book ended. I was thinking about it so much that I decided to write about it. I'm very happy to hear that it's similar to what you imagined!

Again, it makes me so happy that you liked this! I hope you will continue to enjoy it if you continue reading. Thank you so much for this review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login
Add a Review
<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>