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Reading Reviews for Freya
256 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Drommen Happy birthday

22nd January 2006:
Finally! I'm glad you updated. This chapter is full of information that will be extremely relevant to the future, so it makes the reader read it more than once. Cute ending =) very romantic. Maybe too good to be true? Does Eliot have a nasty secret?

Author's Response: You people are very suspecious of the nice boy... what could possibly go wrong...?? Well let's just say that Freya has shared more than Eliot has... and that is all I am going to say on that matter... I am glad you found the chapter "usefull"--- Thanks for keeping up with the story!

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Review #27, by sup lani jean Happy birthday

22nd January 2006:
Goodness, that ending was cute!! ^^ I wish I didn't feel so... wary of Eliot. Something is seriously not right about SOMEONE in this story, but I don't know who it is. You set things up beatifully and really pull in the reader. Great job! <3lani jean

Author's Response: I am really glad you liked the ending... I have never written anything "romantic" before... Something is not right?? I really have no idea what you are talking about ***whistles innocently***

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Review #28, by crystal allan What Is To Come.

11th January 2006:
This was a good chapter. I like that you didn’t waste time in showing us the day to day progression of Freya’s acceptance in Hogwarts. Sometimes it seems that writers feel that the readers need to be taken step by step through each aspect of the story, but here you told us what the basic situation was, conveyed Freya’s feeling of happiness and even elation, and delved right back into the plot. I would have liked to see more time between she and Eliot, or at least delve a little further into that small scene perhaps, bring it down to a more personal level. Also, a bit more description on Eliot’s physical appearance would serve for a mental image… right now all we know is that he’s of the male gender ;-)

I enjoyed Freya’s observations of her peers in the beginning sequence. She isn’t false or petty – she sees the world around her as it is, that doesn’t seem to be tainted by how young she is. I love that people and it’s good to see in a character. It brings her to life somewhat in a way that I can’t even begin to describe – but it’s very good, dear.

This is just a formatting technique, but perhaps you should try putting the dream scene here in italics. It gives that part some distinction and makes it stand out from the rest of the piece. Now, your descriptions there were perfect, you drew the reader in through the imagery and that left a wonderful impression. You also conveyed the emotional aspect of the scene afterward when she wakes up very well. There was lingering confusing and unsettlement – that’s not always something that is easy to portray but you did very good there.

I can’t wait to see how the conversation with Dumbledore goes along, and I’ll be back tomorrow to review ^_^

Author's Response: You will see a lot more af Aliot, later on... but for now he is not that clear to Freya either, I think... she doesn't really think of him that much. That will change.
I actually thought I had that in italics now? so I will go and fix that in a minute.
I like the conversation with Dumbledore, and I am really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on that, he is by far my favorite cannon figure to wirte!

Thank you for this review, looking forward to seeing the next one tomorrow!

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Review #29, by crystal allan Love and War.

10th January 2006:
Now, the ending here seems like you’re leading into that common cliché, but I have a feeling that it’s just going to be the calm before the storm so to speak ^_^

I love the bits of mythology you have here in this story. One of my favorite things in fanfiction is when writers go beyond the bounds of the ‘magic’ JKR has shown us and gives that aspect more depth and focus. It gives the story a unique edge and it also gives points for wonderful imagination. Not many people are willing to go out of those bounds, and I’m really delighted to see that spark of what may come in later chapters. The history behind Freya’s great, great, great (…….) grandmother was intriguing and I love that you’ve given this character that type of back-story. Though, after reading this chapter I’m going to be looking for any ‘Mary-Sue’ qualities in our dear Freya – I can only imagine what type of temptation there must be in having a ‘perfect’ character though I also have a feeling that you’re not going to touch on that route. She seems somewhat insecure about friends, almost like Harry was in SS, and I think that might keep her and even you from heading in that territory.

You have a great talent for emotive description, but the physical, surrounding, aspect is a bit lacking. Everyone knows what Hogwarts looks like, but little touches here and there could help bring together a full picture. That, along with your ability for the emotional depth would make this piece fantastic. I know this is your first fanfiction, and from what I’ve seen of your other work it doesn’t seem to be a weakness now, but I’m just mentioning it in case you ever come back and re-edit, or even as a reminder with current work ;-)

Oh, one more thing. I really liked the incorporation of that Danish word in there at the end of her mother's note. That served as a bit of a reminder that she's not from the UK. A lot of OC's tend to loose that edge because they blend in so well with the rest of the students, and I thought that little piece was just perfect.

Author's Response: This review was great, really helpfull... I always get told that the first chapters lack description, but not in wich area... thank you...
I am re-editing it at some point, I just got a new beta and hopefully that wiull help some, the rest of it will have to wait untill I am done with the whole thing.
Thank you for yet another wonderful and honest review!

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Review #30, by crystal allan A New Beginning

9th January 2006:
I’ve heard so many wonderful things about this story, and it’s good to see that it lives up to expectations (so far.. ^_^). I really enjoyed this beginning. There are quite a few questions running through my mind and I’m delighted that you didn’t answer them all in one chapter. You gave the reader just enough information to keep them wondering, but not so much so that they were overwhelmed. Very good.

I’ve never read a story quite like this. The timeframes I usually read are either Pre-Harry Potter or Post War, so this is a bit new to me. And while I usually don’t like these types of things, I think you’ve given this a unique edge. It’s not the typical ‘new girl comes to Hogwarts’ storyline, you switched things up a bit and you certainly get credit for that :-)

During this short glimpse of Freya, you had wonderful moments that were full of characterization - not only with the back-story but just her personality in general. She seems bright, calculating, and observant, and I love that you were able to convey that in this brief chapter. Now, you portrayed her feelings toward being away from her family and Hogwarts on a whole without turning it into a weepy, melodramatic display of angst, which could have easily been done. Thank you for that, really. As I was reading the first paragraph I was bracing myself for that and was delighted that it never came.

I didn’t find anything here to criticize. If there’s something you were specifically looking for advice on let me know and I’ll try my best :-) I’m going to try to get to the next chapter tomorrow, but if not I’ll be there by Wednesday.

Author's Response: You always brighten up my day... you know! I am really glad you liked this chapter, I am not that happy about it myself.... The storyline is fine, but it is the first fanfiction I ever wrote so I am a bit... well... hesitant about it.
I have edited the beginning a few times now, and I am really glad that you think it works! Well seeing as this is quite a short introductional chapter, I'll wait and see what you think when you get a bit further!

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Review #31, by myriad The H.E.

30th December 2005:
you have to update now because I am very curious. what is up with that?

Author's Response: Uh, I am glad... I have had some probblems with the next chapter, but as soon as we are able to turn in new chapters again... it is comming!

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Review #32, by myriad Trust Me...

30th December 2005:
good job! there were a few small spelling mistakes, but nothing big. I think melandra took those things.

Author's Response: I hate her... urgh... Bad thinks should happen to her... oh wait ***thinks evil thoughts***

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Review #33, by myriad Verdante Enron.

30th December 2005:
very interesting. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time freya goes to talk Verdante.

Author's Response: You may just be on to something there...

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Review #34, by myriad ...It's Who You Know.

30th December 2005:
I can't believe they were so mean! I mean, come on. don't tell her yeah I get that, but don't be so mean about it. I think this definitly has something to do with the D.A.

Author's Response: Maybe, maybe not... I know they were mean, and I am sorry... but that is essential to the plot! Maybe this was one of the most important chapters... oh yeah, and the next one!

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Review #35, by myriad Abrupt Departure.

30th December 2005:
okay this may be completly off, but does what luna had in her hand when she ran out of the three broomsticks have anything to do with the coins hermione gave them all in order of the pheonix to tell them when d.a. meetings were? i'm probably completly wrong, but that was the first thing I thought of. and now i'm extremly curious.

Author's Response: Hæhæ... I'm not telling!

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Review #36, by myriad You Have the Right to Remain Silent.

30th December 2005:
good job on this chapter! I didn't notice any spelling istakes, nothing like that. I am very interested to see what these powers freya's supposed to get are, and what happens on her birthday.

Author's Response: yeah, well that is comming in chapter teen, so you'll have tio wait a while!

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Review #37, by myriad What Is To Come.

29th December 2005:
this was an interesting chapter. I really want to know what freya has to say to dumbledore, and what he's going to tell her.

Author's Response: I am glad you think so.... thanks for reading along!

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Review #38, by emeralddragon The H.E.

29th December 2005:
Your chapters were really good. They had a great amount of detail with only a few typos. This chapter in particular was excellent. Come back with your other chapters.

Author's Response: I will! I am really glad you enjoyed it!

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Review #39, by emeralddragon Trust Me...

29th December 2005:
Very good. I love the way you describe feelings and emotions. You stayed in character, had just a few typos, and no jumps in the story.

Author's Response: I really have to check on those typos.... that is so irritating!

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Review #40, by emeralddragon Verdante Enron.

29th December 2005:
That was one of your best chapters yet. I loved the way you described Verdante as 'ever changing'. Just a few typos but every thing else was brilliant.

Author's Response: Thanks... it is still my favorite chapter, I really love writing about Verdante!

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Review #41, by emeralddragon ...It's Who You Know.

29th December 2005:
Good still. A few typos here and there but still good. She really is starting to feel left out now and wanting to know answers. So do I actually.

Author's Response: ... that is the point, so I'm glad!

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Review #42, by emeralddragon Abrupt Departure.

29th December 2005:
Another good job. Just a few typos. I want to find out why everyone looked at their hands at that moment.... I wonder why... Guess I'll just have to find out!!!

Author's Response: Yeah... I guess you do! I am glad I have you a bit puzzled!

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Review #43, by emeralddragon You Have the Right to Remain Silent.

29th December 2005:
This one was a lot better. One thing, though. You seem to get your 'z' and 's' letters mixed up a lot. Like 'cosy' is actually cozy. Sorry to be picky. It was a really good chapter though.

Author's Response: No no... please be picky, that is why reviews are great!

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Review #44, by emeralddragon What Is To Come.

29th December 2005:
Ok... It was good. It was shorter than the others and there were actually a few typos. It kinda went fast, but in a smooth kind of way. It was still a good chapter.

Author's Response: When I do the rewrite, I will try to find room for mere description!

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Review #45, by emeralddragon Love and War.

29th December 2005:
Good. The outcast is getting in. The concept of gods being witches and wizards was a good idea. No typos, jumps in the storyline, or anyone out of character.

Author's Response: Well that is good then!

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Review #46, by myriad Love and War.

28th December 2005:
good job with this story so far. it's interesting.

Author's Response: Thanks!

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Review #47, by emeralddragon A New Beginning

28th December 2005:
That was a good start. Freya seems like an outcast looking for some friends, but not finding any. The storyline was smooth, there weren't any typos, and you stayed in character. Good job.

Author's Response: Stayed in character .... that means a lot to me so I am very glad you agree with my way of writing canon characters!

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Review #48, by SilverQuill92 The H.E.

24th December 2005:
Freya is.....in one word.....determined. I really like your story so far and from the loks of it you have some really great beta!^^ You're story so unique and not the usual "Girl from another country meets the trio adn they become best friends" This fic has many excellent plot twists......I really like it! Tell me when the next chapter comes out!

Author's Response: I will... and I am glad you enjoied!

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Review #49, by lovinrain The H.E.

23rd December 2005:
Wow, I absolutely loved this! I can't wait to see what happens next. I love your writting, it is so unique and creative!! lovinrain

Author's Response: I am really glad you liked it... I was stuck for a while, doing chapter teen, but it is comming around now!

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Review #50, by FaymosAmos ...It's Who You Know.

16th December 2005:
Ah! That was so intense! The arguements. The heated words. You're getting better with every chapter you write. I was very annoyed with Luna stating the facts... almost as if I were Freya, and trying to get some answers. I really liked the comment Ron made about making S.P.E.W. "go away." :)

Author's Response: Thank you... I know that some of my early chapters are not my greatest work. .. but I was just starting out, I am just glad I have you guys... otherwise I would still be writing in that somewhat... plain way!

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