Reading Reviews for Complicated
  
35 Reviews Found

Review #26, by BellaFan202 Complication #2

30th May 2013:
Hi! So glad you requested this. :)

I'm a huge Supernatural fan, and Abigail is making me crazy with her last name! Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I might point out. I just love it a lot. :P

Anyway, I really liked the description of her morning routine. It said a lot without really putting in so many details that I got bored reading it. It helped me understand what her everyday life is, and I liked that.

I think it says a lot about Abigail that she can just say whatever she wants, whenever she wants to say it, such as "As usual, I look flawless." However, I'm not entirely sure that Abigail is the "real" Abigail, because it says more about her when she thinks things like "sometimes I think I would give up Egyptian silk for real interest in me" or something like that. Even though she tried to make it more "I couldn't care less" by saying "the silk is really nice though."

I think you did a really good job with this second chapter. I'm really impressed. I also hate second chapters, and mine always suck. :P

I wish this had a little more James, but I know that that wouldn't have worked well. So I can get over it. But that doesn't keep me from wishing for some James action next chapter! :)

Don't forget to request the next chapter whenever it's published please! :D

~BellaFan202~
P.S. Sorry there's no constructive criticism. I couldn't think of any! D:

Author's Response: Hi! I actually wasn't thinking about Supernatural when I came up with her last name, but now I can't help but think about it! :P

The balance between the shell Abigail tries to hide in and her real self is fun to write, and I'm glad that you liked reading it as well. :)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates second chapters - they're horrible, in my opinion!

James will definitely be making an appearance soon, and increasingly so over time. :P

Thanks for reviewing, and I'll definitely re-request when the next chapter comes out!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #27, by PitchBlue Complication #1

30th May 2013:
Hello,

This was an interesting introduction. I like it that you have a 'popular' girl as a main OC, and even though her wealth and everything make her appear a bit unlikable, I'm curious where you're going with her.

You gave a good introduction of the other characters too, I could imagine them before me.

The part about her parent's divorce was well written and gave her character more depth - it gave away some backstory without explaining too much.

So, all in all I quite liked this chapter!

- PB

Author's Response: Hi!

I feel like popular girls are so often portrayed as the "bad guy" in FF stories, so that kind of ended up as the starter for this story.

I'm glad you liked the chapter; thanks for reviewing!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #28, by UnluckyStar57 Complication #1

28th May 2013:
Wow! This was definitely an interesting chapter to start off with! I like your style. ;)

You said in your review request that your OC, Abigail, was not very likable at this point in time. Well, in some ways, I agree with you and in some ways, I don't.

You've written her as a spoiled, bratty, rich girl who seems really shallow, but I can definitely tell that she's having some issues with her self-image and her parents' separation. That gives her a better justification for being snarky than a character that is snarky just because they want to be. Abigail is trying to cover up her heartache with a facade that works--until she's alone.

I've got to admit that the whole "favorite girlfriend" thing with Blaise definitely sounds like foreshadowing to me! Would he cheat on her/has he been cheating on her? He seems like the bad boy, player type, so I think it's a possibility. And that will only add more to Abigail's woes.

Her friends are... Perfect, in the sense that they are all completely put-together. They all seem very beautiful and shallow, but are they really? After all, there IS Scarlett's crush on Freddy, and the matter of why she hasn't been dating him if she likes him so much. Here's to giving these girls a million dimensions--you've already gotten a pretty admirable start! :)

And the man of the moment--James Potter. Compared to Abigail, he seems very flat, but that's probably just because he hasn't been in the story much, and he isn't narrating, so we can't see how his mind really works. Still, I'd like to see a bit more of why he feels the need to antagonize Abigail, and why she hates him so very much. Perhaps he has issues too? I'd love to see them if he does!!

But I suppose that it's all part of the process of exposing all of their flaws and fears to the world--it takes time. So here's to many more chapters and much characterization from you! :)

P.S. I'm a member of the Grammar Police, but I certainly found zero things wring with your story. Kudos!!

P.P.S. Sorry if you didn't want me to say anything about grammar... It just makes me really happy when stories have good grammar. :)

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi! Don't worry, I'm a bit of a grammar stickler myself, so it makes me quite happy that you didn't find any mistakes! :D

I'm glad you sort of like Abigail - I just said that so you'd be prepared, because she's definitely not the typical character you encounter in FF stories. She definitely has some issues, which will only be built upon as the story progresses.

Oh gosh, you picked up on that. :D

Her friends are kind of one-dimensional now, but that's the way Abigail is in public as well. I have plenty in store for them too! I sound so devious saying this... :P

James is still a flat character as well, but once again, I've got plenty up my sleeve, and it's seriously taking all my self-control to not start saying all of it in this review, because I'm definitely excited to reveal it later on. :)

Thanks for reviewing, I'll definitely be back to re-request! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

P.S.: Man, I really need to cool it with the smiley-faces...


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Review #29, by Failed_and_Forgotten Complication #2

28th May 2013:
The story plot is GREAT! Can't wait to read the next updates! =))

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you like it! I will have the next chapter ready ASAP! :)
-ShadowRose


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Review #30, by BellaFan202 Complication #1

27th May 2013:
Hello!

Not gonna lie, because I am a hugely immature human, that that last line made me almost cry with laughter. That was a good one. :P

Anyway, onto the chapter. I really liked this. I know you said that Abigail isn't supposed to be likable at the moment, and I quite like that. At first I was like "Oh God, she's THAT girl, isn't she?" but towards the end of the chapter, I kind of started feeling bad for her. I feel like it's not her fault that she's kind of a snob. (cleaning up my language a bit, here. :P ) However, I don't feel so bad for her that I like her. Hopefully that'll change by the end of the story. :)

I really liked this. It was a really good start and I have a feeling that I'm going to continue to like it more and more as I read on, which is why I realy hope you'll request the next chapter! :)

Haven't really got a whole lot else to say, so I'm just going to end here.

Don't forget to request!

~BellaFan202~

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing this!

Because I am a hugely immature human, I had to include that line. :P

Yes, Abigail is definitely THAT girl, to an extent (and don't worry, I definitely know the word you're thinking of). Her character development is going to end up being really important in this story, and I really ought to shut up now before I start telling you everything about the story...

I'm glad you liked it, and I'll be sure to re-request! Thanks again for reviewing this! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #31, by leyla Complication #2

27th May 2013:
nice start and i completely understand about the second chapter thing, they're so hard to write. the flow of the story is good (a lot of people rush through and it can ruin a story) but i really dislike the main character... i'm so sorry! haha, i think it's just the arrogance that seems to radiate off her - although i'm not sure if you've intended to do that so we can see some strong character development later on. if so, then fair enough and i think you could do a good job with that. if this is how she acts throughout, i don't think i will enjoy this story as much as i could. i'm really sorry, this is just my opinion but i feel that abigail is not down to earth enough to relate to and that's something i look for in a story. so yeah, i'll give the next chapter a try definitely and i hope this review helps. i'm not too great with constructive criticism (as you can probably tell) so i'm gonna go now. good luck with the rest of the story

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you like the flow, as getting a story started can be a little tricky!

Ah, Abigail. I understand why you don't like her - she's not exactly a likable character! She's supposed to be kind of arrogant and stuck-up, but yes, there will be quite a bit of character development coming up in the later chapters - that actually turns into one of the primary themes of the novel. :)

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #32, by RavenclawGirl11 Complication #1

12th May 2013:
Hello! You asked me to give you a review and I am! I think your characterization is incredible: Abigail puts on a show for everyone else, but inside she is insecure.

I am interested to where you are going to take this story, and are very intrigued, so I will be waiting for the next chapter. I think you are a good author and will be investigating more of your work

~ Macy x

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing so quickly!

I'm glad you like Abigail's character, and I'll definitely be playing on those different sides of her as the story progresses. :)

I love that you liked this! Thanks again for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #33, by Courtney Dark Complication #1

12th May 2013:
Tag!

I love the idea of this story, and I think this first chapter was a great way to start it off.

Abigail is an awesome character. Yes, she seems like she's a bit of a snarky mean girl but I love how fresh and different that is! It's nice to see an OC who isn't completely perfect, for a change! And I think James kinda knew what he was talking about when he said: "Itís better than being a bunch of girls whose wands are stuck so far up their arses you canít even see them anymore." I loved the banter between Abigail and James, by the way! Classically brilliant!

I liked the fact that Abigail seemed so confident when with her friends but, when she was alone, some of that confidence seemed to slip away and she found herself questioning herself a little bit more. I'm definitely intrigued to find out how her character will develop, and how her friends personalities will develop, too. At the moment they all seem a little bit the same, but I'm sure once you've had time to properly introduce us to them all, they'll turn out to be really exciting characters to read about.

I loved the idea of Abigail being the rope in her parent's tug of war - i think that will definitely add an interesting dimension to the story. And her bedroom at her father's house sounds amazing, what with that gorgeous view - I have to admit, I'm feeling a tad jealous right now!

I really want to learn more about Abigail's boyfriend, Blaise. From what we saw of him in this chapter, he seemed like a really nice, easy-going guy. But for all I know, he could turn out to be a complete asshat.

This was a really good start, and I'm definitely going to have to watch out for the next chapter!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Ooh, yay, I'm glad you like this so far!

As for Abigail, I was really trying to get away from the "perfect girl" stereotype, so I'm glad that that didn't go unnoticed! That comment from James was quite true, wasn't it?

There's definitely a little bit of pack mentality in Abigail, in that she's a lot more gutsy and confident around her friends and weaker by herself, and that'll come to play later on in the story. :)

I've had a couple of people say the same thing about her friends, and, looking back, I think part of that identicality was a bit intentional, to kind of show her friends as yes-men (or yes-women, I guess). They will be developed in more detail later as the story goes on, though.

Ah, Blaise. I have a lot planned for him. *cackles evilly* You'll just have to wait and see. :)

The next chapter's coming soon, I just have to edit it a little more! Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)



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Review #34, by ScarletEye158 Complication #1

13th April 2013:
Hey there! This is a really good start you have! :)

I really like how well developed your characters are! It's usually really hard for me to read a story with so many OCs but I thought you gave them pretty strong personalities where I wasn't too overwhelmed! They all do seem a little too perfect though, so maybe giving them some faults or quirks would help? I can see some already in Abigail because she's the main character (and I particularly love the battle between the parents part) but the other three seem a little too good to be true.

Another part about this story that I really liked was how well it flowed! I'm not very good with flow in my writing but the way you transitioned between sentences, paragraphs and even new scenes was flawless! Nice job! :)

Your descriptions were beautiful, also. I loved how well you described the girls' looks. I could see them perfectly in my head and I liked that even though they all act the same you gave them all entirely different looks. I know some girls in my school dress exactly the same and change their hair and looks to match their friends and it's really annoying! lol

Ohhh, I can't wait to see what happens with Abigail and her boyfriend! Are they actually going to sleep together? I can tell she feels like she /needs/ to, but I don't really feel like she wants to! I hope she does the right thing!

This was a really good first chapter and I think it definitely is able to go somewhere! I hope you continue to write it because you're a very good writer :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'll make sure to get on yours as soon as possible! :)

I'm glad you think I started it off well, because I do agree that sometimes it is hard to read a story composed entirely of OCs, simply because you don't know very much about them. As for their individual quirks/faults, those will definitely show up later. :)

Oh yay, it flowed well! I was a little concerned about jumping from scene to scene, but I'm glad to see it came out okay.

That will all be explained in the next chapters or so! I'm just going to leave it at that, because if I keep typing, I'll end up giving away the plot...

Thanks for the review - I'm glad you liked the story!

-ShadowRose


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Review #35, by -BookDinosaur- Complication #1

3rd April 2013:
So, I like your story so far. You have already built some depth in Abigail, where on one hand she is the Queen Bee, but on the other hand she is the unloved pawn.

At the moment, her friends all seem the same to me, so could you try to develop them a bit more?

Please please please do NOT let her lose her virginity to that boyfriend of hers. I'm sur he's really nice, but if this is a James/OC story, and she loses her virginity to someone else, that defeats the whole point, right?

I'm sorry. I've just read this over and I sound so pushy. These are only suggestions and I really am enjoying your story.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so far! And I don't mind you being pushy, I love to hear people's opinions! :) As for her friends, they are supposed to seem somewhat similar, but they'll get developed a little more later on. And you'll see where I'm going with this whole boyfriend thing very soon. :) Thanks for the review!
-ShadowRose


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