73 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MargaretLane Marauder Missions

12th January 2014:
Yay, new chapter of Albus Potter and Slytherin's Office. And the chapter title is intriguing. Hmm. *goes to read*

Love your first paragraph. You really capture the emotions they are feeling, particularly Albus.

This is really, really nit-picky, but one thing I would say is there are a couple of places in it where you could replace the names with pronouns. Like you've already said David and Art lost the Invisibility Cloak, so you could just say Albus was angry with them rather than using their names again. As I said, REALLY nit-picky, but the paragraph is so emotional and powerful and I feel using their names again just slows it down that bit.

*laughs* I think you hinted at this part in a review to my stories - about James being unwilling to help them. I think he might help get the Invisibility Cloak back though, because he would want to be able to use it himself.

*laughs at Albus figuring out James would be in the kitchen* How typical of him!

And I love the planning they are doing. Plastering Trelawney's wall with itching powder and replacing her crystal balls with pumpkins are exactly the kind of things I could imagine James doing. I'd love to see some of his pranks actually.

Master Shafiq?

So THAT'S why Albus was eavesdropping. I couldn't figure out why he wanted to know what James was planning, though I should have guessed. It's so OBVIOUS now that it's been explained.

Aw, poor Albus. I mean I think it's good he doesn't like blackmailing people, but the part about not being used to standing up to James gives me sympathy for him.

I really like the indication Albus trusts Rose more than Art and David. It makes sense as they've known each other all their lives, whereas he's only known the others a few months. It makes sense he'd want to confide in her.

That mission went fairly well. I was expecting Filch to appear or something. Thought Art might have to distract him or that he might shout at them that Filch was on his way back and they'd have to rush things.

I like the mention of the kitchens being better known now than in Harry's time, because of course, things would have changed. The wizarding world seems to change fairly slowly, but still, everything is not going to remain the same. And I like the way Albus refers to "his father's time" as if it's the Dark Ages or something (or rather the Golden Art of Art and Learning as the same period was over here; Ireland likes to be different, it seems). It makes sense. After all, it happened before he was even born.

*laughs at the idea of Albus being able to use Snape's ability because he has his middle name*

And yeah, I can definitely see why they wouldn't want any of their cousins involved and if Hermione could brew the Polyjuice potion in 2nd year, I reckon Albus can do it.

And guess what: it is the 12th of January, so Happy Birthday Albus! *grins* Weird his birthday is around the same time in both our stories. I mean it's the 8th of December in mine, but that's only a month earlier.

And you know what I was thinking recently? I'd love to see Flitwick's reaction at the end of this story when he realises he's unwittingly been helping a Dark Wizard in his attempt to kill a couple of his students. You might already have planned to show that, but if it isn't shown in this, I'd love to see a one-shot about it or something. Although I'm sure you've enough to write with this whole series, without writing stuff just 'cause I want to see it. It would be interesting though. I mean, how horrific a realisation must that be?!

This is one of your better chapters, I think. Really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: You have a good point. I'm kind of paranoid when it comes to pronouns, because I used to say "they" all the time for papers and such, and my mom would be ask me who are "they"? But you're right, repeating Art and David that many times is a bit overkill.

Yeah, I did hint at that part. I did it knowing that you would read it in just a few weeks.

James's pranks are brilliant. Unfortunately, you won't see most of them for a long time.

Shafiq is the last name of James's best friend John. I should probably clarify that. Even though I'm sure I've mentioned it once or twice, but it's probably hard to remember things from multiple chapters ago.

I like having the reader not knowing what Albus is doing until he does it, even though it is from his point of view. I'm picky on what thoughts of Albus's you get to see. *evil grin*

For several chapters, Albus trusted them all completely, and I realized he shouldn't trust them that fast.

The mission did go well. Every once in a while, plans do go right. Not every plan or story has to be complicated.

Yeah, the same thing is happening with the Room of Requirement; it's become too well-known, since it was used by just about everyone in the Battle of Hogwarts and all. That's going to cause some problems for Albus.

Yeah, everything that happened to Harry are just stories to Albus. To him, it seems like a long long time ago (in a galaxy far far away... Sorry, Star Wars reference).

Albus doesn't have a lot of confident, but he does have a point. That potion is HARD.

I didn't think Chapter 19 would be up this fast! I submitted it to the queue last night right before I went to bed, and I saw the email that it was validated right after I woke up this morning. So, Happy Birthday Albus!

Yeah, I don't think anybody wants to wake up from a seemingly deep sleep and find out that you've done terrible things. Not ideal...

I don't think I'm going to write a one-shot. What I really want to do is write a novel or novella about Zajecfer's childhood, but that would be massive spoilers for the Albus Potter series. So I'd have to wait on that. *sighs*

Thank you for reviewing! You always leave AWESOME reviews. :)


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Review #27, by marauderfan Galleons, Books, Wands, and Jokes

30th December 2013:
Hi there! I'm back! (For the 12 days of reviewing, day 4.)

Loved this chapter! It was nice to see how close the family is, what a great family outing, despite James being impatient and Lily whiny :p The part with Lily and the chocolate chips was really cute. I can only imagine the mess that resulted from that. My friend spilled chocolate chips on herself once and they melted all over her clothes, so I'm just giggling at the thought of Lily putting chocolate chips in her pocket! :p

I also enjoyed the fact that Ollivander's son owns the shop now - and that he doesn't have the good memory his father had. That's a nice touch.

An elder wand? That's probably going to be very important later. Considering that Harry has probably passed down the invisibility cloak to his sons, Albus is in possession of an elder wand and an invisibility cloak- 2 of 3 hallows. Interesting... maybe a red herring but interesting all the same.

Albus's interjection into the adults "boring" conversation made me laugh too, kids are so like that! You write the young Albus, James and Lily very true to their ages.

This was a fun chapter! Great work :)

Author's Response: Ugh, I hate when chocolate melts. I didn't even think about the mess that Lily caused with melting chocolate. I just always imagined her coming home, the chocolate chips dancing around for about ten more minutes, and then the spell wearing off.

I wanted Ollivander's family to still be working the shop, since it has been open since 382 B.C. I also didn't want Ollivander's son to be his clone, so I decided to change that little tidbit. Memorizing every wand he'd ever sold? That's just a little unnatural.

I'm not saying you're wrong, it could be the elder wand, but there are other wands out there made out of elder. Not many, since it is considered unlucky, but Ollivander sells them.

Oh yeah, adult conversations are so boring. *laughs*

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #28, by Secret Santa The Restricted Section

29th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh god. Oh no.

THEY'VE LOST THE CLOAK.

AND THEY CAN'T GET THE BOOK.

NOOO!

I felt like it went too well. This is terrible! And Madam Pince will probably find the book and put it back in the Restricted Section. NOOO.

Oh god, I have no words for this. I'm too shell-shocked.

Although, I did like the little tidbit where David was missing because he was stealing fudge. I would probably be the same, haha!

They have to get James to help them nick the Cloak back! He has the map and would be able to distract Filch. And then they can get the book!

Yeah, sorry for the short review but I'm literally so shocked.

Anyway, I'm going to log back in and favourite this, because I can't wait to read more!

It was great being your Secret Santa. I loved it so much and I'm so glad I got you because otherwise I would have never read this wonderful story! :) I can't believe I missed it before!

Out of curiosity, did you ever work it out? :p

Anyway, I hope you had a good Christmas and have a Happy New Year! ♥

- Secret Santa :)

Author's Response: I am rather amused at your reaction. I don't feel depressed and shocked as you do, since I am the creator.

I had no idea you would be that shocked. But they'll think of something.

Oh yeah, I would be the same as David. Unfortunately, I do not have any house-elves under my command. I only get fudge twice a year. :(

Smart suggestion, recruiting James. They's have to get James to cooperate first...

No actually, I did not work it out. I didn't try very hard though, since I preferred to be surprised. And I most certainly was! Thank you for being the BEST SANTA EVER and reviewing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER! I never expected that. Thank you. :)


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Review #29, by Secret Santa Research Discoveries

29th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Well, it's closer to Happy New Year but I'm not stopping now! Again, sorry for the delay. I went on a holiday for three days. And I know that we have the reveal thread in the common room but I'm going to finish reviewing before I reveal myself ;)

Anyway, this was a great chapter. I really felt Albus' exhaustion, which is something a lot of authors struggle with! And even though I love Hufflepuff (I'm totally NOT biased ;)), I just want Gryffindor to beat them! I want Al to have another victory! It seems like he's going to need it, especially with Zajecfer!

And YAY they found the potion! And would you look at that? A Malfoy has something to do with it. Typical! :p

Oh god, Rose was in a bad mood this chapter, wasn't she? Was she going through 'womanly issues'? ;)

Ah, Fred and Louis are good fun, aren't they? They're exactly what you expect of them, hahaha!

Why don't they just use the Invisibility Cloak? They could sneak in then! THINK AL, THINK!

Unless that is Rose's plan - I wouldn't be surprised if it is - and if so, good on ya, Rosie, you definitely have your mother's brains, haha ;)

Anyway, this was a great chapter! Only one more and then the big reveal! :p

(The reveal will be in the thread, not in the review. I like having this mystery, ahaha)

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: I was on holiday as well, so I didn't know they had the reveal thread until a few days later! So you're good.

I know exhaustion as well. Staying up late to finish homework after really busy days and having to wake up early in the morning is not fun.

Hopefully Albus will get a victory. No guarantees!

Typical Malfoys. I actually feel rather sorry for Scorpius; he has such a terrible family history.

Rose was just feeling plain crabby from being in the library so often. What you suggested hadn't even occured to me.

I love Fred and Louis. They are different, but go together like peanut butter and jelly. Okay, bad analogy, sorry. But you get what I mean.

Ooh, looks like somebody is smart. ;)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #30, by marauderfan The Feast

27th December 2013:
For the 12 days of reviewing, part 3!

Aw, Albus fell off the stool? Poor thing, that's got to be the most embarrassing sorting moment. At least he's not entirely following his father's footsteps, that's what he wanted right? ;)

Hey! Uncalled for, Sorting Hat - no need to be calling Hufflepuffs clumsy idiots :p (Actually, I shouldn't be talking, because I am clumsy. Perhaps the hat is right. Tonks was a Hufflepuff too and she's clumsy. I sense a pattern. Anyway, I'm getting off track here.)

Haha, I love how even Art, a Muggle-born, knows about Harry Potter. Albus can't escape the stares even from people who didn't grow up in the wizarding world!

I like how you've written Rose. In the previous chapter I saw a lot of Hermione's personality in her what with finding all sorts of information in books, and here are elements of Ron as well (when she tactlessly asks Nearly Headless Nick if he is nearly headless - much like Ron did at first, I think.) So basically I like that she isn't a Hermione-clone, you've done well writing a girl that's influenced by both of her parents.

The Weasley twins' punching telescope makes a reappearance - love it.

James cracks me up - he seems to just appear out of nowhere when Albus least expects it. (I foresee this being a problem in about five years or so if Albus eventually has a girlfriend, haha) he stole the Marauders' Map! Oh, I love that Harry edited it. I hadn't really considered that he would do that, but I suppose after half the castle fell down in the battle of Hogwarts, some things probably got put back together differently and Harry needed to note the remodel. Though if he's keeping it updated, he's kind of just asking for one of his sons to steal it ;)

Great chapter! I am really enjoying this story but right now its late and I have to go to sleep. I will be back soon to read more! :)

Author's Response: That has to be pretty embarrassing. Poor Albus.

I feel I have to criticize the sorting hat as well. I think it might be biased.

Well, Harry Potter is possibly one of the most famous wizards. Art did spend time in Diagon Alley and get books, after all.

Rose is like her mother, and unlike her in other aspects.

I think Harry updated the map just because he could. But good point, that is asking for James to steal it.

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #31, by marauderfan The Extraordinary Arrival

27th December 2013:
Another review for the 12 days of reviewing!

Ok, one thing I have noticed so far that is really awesome: you have the same format of opening your story as JK does (at least GoF- on.). The chapter about mysterious things elsewhere to start off, and then beginning with the second one, a focus on the main character, and you remind the reader things like that there are four houses, Albus is a wizard... I really like that. Yes they are things we all know as readers of HP fanfiction, but it's like a little nod to the books and I definitely appreciate that.

I love the details of characterisation in here, like the fact that Albus doesn't like new foods. It's very realistic for an eleven year old! James is perfect as the annoying, older brother.. "see you in a million years. Your underpants are showing." He acts a little like my cousin was at that age :p so, I found him realistic as well!

Props to you for putting in a Sorting Hat song. It's easy to just brush over it and not include one, but I'm always impressed when people are willing to try their hand at poetry and add a song. Nice job :)

Ooh, you cut that off in a very sneaky place! Without any further ado, I'm going to find out what house Albus is in...

Author's Response: When I started writing, I wanted to do it in a similar format as JKR. I love how J.K. Rowling adds little prolouges in the beginning. I love it so much.

Actually, the reason I included some background was so my mom could read it, since she hasn't read Harry Potter! I didn't let her know I was writing it until many months later though.

I gave Albus a little bit of characteristics of myself, like the fact that I don't like trying new foods either. There is that saying, "Write what you know" so I did!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #32, by marauderfan The Rising Wizard

27th December 2013:
Hello! I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing, in which we're supposed to review a story with a feast in it... looks like there's a feast in the 3rd chapter, so I'll be reading at least until then tonight! (maybe more, but it's after midnight already and my reviews stop making sense when it's too late at night so apologies in advance :P ) Ok, now to the review.

This is a very chilling opening chapter, especially as they start out with a mass killing curse and then joke about it! That's never good :-( I like the anonymity of the two men though, and even though they go unnamed (for most of it anyway) I can still get a really clear picture of their personalities. The younger one sounds like he'll be stirring up a lot more trouble without really knowing what he's doing - all he's doing is copying Voldemort with less effective results. (I mean... Lord Zajecfer? I don't even know how to say that, lol. Actually I spent longer than I care to admit trying to unscramble that and figure out what his last name was.) He seems like an impulsive type who will do anything careless to try and make himself more important, while the older one is more concerned with strategy. Anyway, I am eager to learn more about them.

This is a well written chapter and really intriguing, I'm off to read the next one now!

Author's Response: Don't worry about being sleep-deprived, I've had quite a bit of experience with that!

Yep, Chapter 3 has a feast in it.

Zajecfer is sort of trying to be a copy of Voldemort, but he still is dangerous. I wouldn't want him turning up on my doorstep.

Another reviewer also just recently wanted to know how to pronounce Zajecfer. It is Zah-jeh-c-fur. Maybe I'll try to include that pronounciation somewhere in the story.

What did you come up with when you unscrambled the name? It isn't one recognizable.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I greatly appreciate it!


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Review #33, by Secret Santa Light and Dark

26th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! (Shh, let's pretend it's still Christmas)

I hope you had a great Christmas, though! Ate lots of food? ;)

Anyway, this was a brilliant chapter! I love Quidditch chapters so much! I enjoy them in every single fanfiction/novel and you write it so well! I was on the edge of my metaphorical seat - as I'm currently sitting on top of my bed :p - and I was just PRAYING that they'd win! I'm so glad they did!

AND STOP ENDING THE CHAPTERS ON A SAD NOTE! THAT'S NO FUN! D':

Anyway, this was another amazing chapter! I'll be reading on! :D

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: It's still Christmas, right? 12 days of Christmas, remember? ;) I did have a good Christmas though, and the food was good. We ate at an Indian Restaurant, because most other places were closed.

I love Quidditch too; it's the only sport I actually like. You can't beat flying on broomsticks.

I'm glad you're pleased that Gryffindor had a victory! The lions pulled through!

I'm glad you loved the chapter!


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Review #34, by Secret Santa Streamers and Newspapers

24th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you have a great day!

Ugh, I know I told you I'd review all the other chapters but something came up (in the form of Christmas cookies and truffles) so I couldn't do them. I can't promise I'll finish these reviews today but I will finish them eventually! I'm so sorry! D:

Anyway, this was a wonderful chapter! I loved how Al spent his birthday and all his family planned the gifts. It was very sweet. :) And I'm guessing it's no coincidence that Al's best subject is Potions and Zajecfer has a mysterious potion? ;)

Also, out of curiosity, how do you pronounce Zajecfer? I pronounce it 'za - jess - far' but I was curious as to how you pronounced it?

Aw, Art is so humble! He kind of reminds me of a mini-Neville! Speaking of, I thought it was so sweet that Neville had the plant sing happy birthday and then again for Art! I really enjoyed that, haha!

But the poor kids, they still haven't found anything on Zajecfer! I just want to tell them that they probably won't find anything because he's so new! But I'm so super curious as to who he actually is!

And to be a bit off topic, the image of David having streamers out of his nostrils made me laugh so hard! You've really got a knack for humour! :p

Anywho, this was a great chapter and I can't wait to read more! Have a good Christmas and hope Santa gets you everything you asked for! :D

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: It's okay, Chistmas cookies and truffles are a wonderful excuse! Totally acceptable, sweets. I actually made Christmas cookies last week, so I understand very well on all the time it takes.

Good Point, it's not much of a coincidence that Zajecfer has a potion and Albus is good at potions. *grins*

Another reviewer just asked the same question- how to pronounce Zajecfer. I should incorporate that into the story someway. I pronounce it Zah-jeh-c-fur. Good question!

Albus is so humble. I suppose I am too, since I was blushing throughout most of your reviews. :) I'm rather like Art when I get praise. But he is a little like Neville, I never really noticed that before.

If they searched Zajecfer by his original name, they would find him, but the kids don't know Zajecfer's original name.

Thanks! Most of the humorous things throughoutthe story I made up as I wrote, but I'm glad you like it!

Hope your Santa got everything you wanted too! *grins* This Santa certainly did!


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Review #35, by Secret Santa Research Time

24th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!

I am SO sorry for not reviewing in days! The Christmas season really is a busy time! But I'm back and am going to review the rest of the chapters (except the last one, that's for tomorrow ;))

Anyway, this was a fillery chapter but it was still entertaining. I love all of your characters, they're just so brilliant. Rose is bossy like Hermione but you can see a lot of Ron in her, it's great! :p And you gotta love David. He's such an entertaining character!

I loved how Rose was so eager for the research and the boys all complained. Typical boys. :p

Again, I'm so sorry for the delay of these reviews. But this was another great chapter, I can't wait to keep reading!

- Secret Santa :)

Author's Response: It is a bit fillery, but we don't want them in the library one second and find them the answer the next second. It had to be a long and tedious process, this is just a little snip of that.

Yes, typical boys. I'm actually surprised on how well I have been able to write boys. But I guess I'm around boys enough to know how they'd react.

Don't worry about the delay, I'm just happy to get them!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #36, by Secret Santa Birthday Discussions

19th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

This was a great chapter! I absolutely loved it! I loved how Art is so quiet and calm, he really balances their little group, doesn't he? :p

I LOVED this line: "I pride myself on my idiocy. Being an idiot is my entire personality! And my best talent." Had me laughing SO loudly! :p

Oh god, I also laughed so loudly at this conversation. I nearly cried, ahahahaha!

"I'm glad David is my friend," Art said. "He provides great entertainment. We don't even have to pay!"

"Don't you dare let David hear you saying that," Albus said teasingly. "Or he'll make us start paying. I don't want to lose any galleons!"


That was literally the best. You've got a great sense of humour, I love it! :D

The theories are really intriguing! Every time they stated a theory I agreed with it! I'm just SO CURIOUS as to what the real thing is! I can't wait to find out! :D

Oh, I also loved how Al was happy to hit James with bludgers. True, brotherly love right there! :p

Anywho, this was an amazing chapter! You write fantastically! Have you ever thought of writing professionally? :)

10/10

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: Art is calm, and loyal, and the group would fall apart without Art.

David gets some VERY amusing lines. I love writing David, he's probably my favorite character to write.

I'm surprised none of my friends have demanded money yet for all the entertainment they do. I'm sure many people could do a business on that.

I'm glad you like all the theories! I tried to make it so none of them could be false and unrealistic.

I really don't have to do much imagination in terms of Albus and James, since I have an older brother as well. I would love to hate mine with a bludger!

I have thought about writing professionally when I am older... that compliment made me joyful the entire day. I've never heard anyone ask me that before! Thank you so much!


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Review #37, by Secret Santa Nighttime Wanderings

19th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ooh, this was such an intriguing chapter! I'm really curious as to why Zajecfer is losing all his hair and has blood-red eyes? Is it because he's also using Horcruxes? Hmm...

But they use the Invisibility Cloak for the first time! I loved Al's excitement, it was so sweet! And poor Rose, being all motherly and Al getting annoyed at her, ahaha! And David's love of fudge is definitely something I can relate to!

The house elves were adorable! I could just imagine them basically bombarding them with food! :p When they let without the cupcakes, I wanted to smack them because they'd forgotten about it but it seems like Rose had that handled, ahaha!

And I love the name of the cat! It's extremely fitting, ahahaha!

Anyway, this was a very good chapter! I can't wait for all the action to start!!

- Secret Santa :D

Author's Response: Interesting speculation. Zajecfer's appearance is intriguing.

Rose would obviously be very nervous about David and Albus sneaking around at night, so she gets angry when she finds they have to go back out AGAIN. She's good in her heart though. Besides, I do think Albus and David need someone to keep them in check.

I love house-elves. I have a little LEGO Dobby who I love very much. If I attended Hogwarts, I would visit the kitchens frequently.

Thank you for reviewing!



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Review #38, by Secret Santa The Weasley Gathering

19th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hello again!

This was such a lovely chapter, even though they had to be away from (most of) their families! I loved all the interactions between the cousins, it was so sweet!

I actually loved Lucy and Molly, ahaha! I thought they were so cute getting excited over the homework planner and the prefect books! But of course Percy would get Al and James prefect books, that seems so typical of him! ;D

Anyway, I loved their plan for Art's birthday, that's just so kind of them and Al is already planning on using his father's cloak! Truly his father's son, ehehe!

Even though James can be a bit of a bully (all older brothers are, thank goodness I never had one :p), I quite like him as a character. He's got great charisma and he always puts a smile on my face when I read about him. :p

Although, I have to say, I definitely side with David. Fudge is so much better than mint chocolate. I know that wasn't the argument but I thought I'd supply my opinion, ahaha!

Oh god, I loved the quote 'Their dad once jokingly said that James had a head inflated as much as Gilderoy Lockhart.' Brilliant line!

This was another fantastic chapter! I'll be back... >:)

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: Lucy and Molly are cute. They are slightly different, but both rather similar in nature. And I don't think Percy cares that Albus and James are only first and second years, he'd probably instruct them to prepare for being a prefect now!

James puts a smile on my fast most of them time. Some people sees him as annoying, while other people see him as funny.

Hmm, I like fudge and mint chocolate... I'd say fudge is better though.

I'm glad you liked this chapter!


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Review #39, by Secret Santa Christmas

17th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

This chapter is very fitting for this time of year, isn't it? :p

I love the idea of turning leaves into mistletoe! That's such a great and unique idea! And so festive! Who would've guessed that Dire thought of that idea? :p

And that IS rubbish that they had to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas season! But go Rose for working it out! Definitely her mother's daughter! ;)

Oh I loved how you made Art good at art. That's just so fitting! And what a sweet present! It's so thoughtful and kind! Bless his soul! :')

I'm excited for actually properly seeing all the cousins in the next chapter! I can't wait to see how they all interact!

Another great chapter! It was so heartwarming! Especially with all the presents! :')

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: Christmas is exciting. Dire may be strict, but he isn't utterly evil. And I wanted them to do things in classes to reflect the time of year, and this was a good idea!

Hogwarts isn't a bad place to spend Christmas, but I'd rather spend it with family. Of course, with those with not really a place to go, I'm sure they were relieved.

Art is good at art. *laughs* I didn't even realize that until I was writing the chapter and was like "Wait a minute..."

Art is as sweet and kind as you can get. The sorting hat did actually consider him for Hufflepuff.

I love presents too. :)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #40, by Secret Santa Hufflepuff VS Gryffindor

17th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Oh how I love reading about Quidditch! I absolutely loved this chapter!

The way you wrote the whole chapter basically had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat (I'm all snuggled in bed at the moment, hehe) because I just wanted them to win so bad! It sucks that they didn't win but I'm sure they can pull through!

Although, I did love the 'Hufflepuff was too good' part. Damn right they are ;)

This was another brilliant chapter, you're a very talented author!

- Secret Santa :D

Author's Response: I'm jealous of you for being all snuggled up! Nothing like a cozy bed. :)

I figured everyone would assume that Gryffindor would win, so I had Hufflepuff win to throw them off, and also because Hufflepuff is amazing.

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #41, by Secret Santa Rose Gets Detention

17th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Oh, poor Al! He was being worked down to the bone! He's only a little boy; leave him alone, Chris! :p

hahahaha, GO ROXANNE! Teach those silly boys a lesson! :p

Oh my god, the mail is getting watched! That's not a good sign at all! It reminds me of Umbridge's terrible reign. *shudder*

And aw bless Rose! She threw herself under the bus for Al (metaphorically of course :p)! And I couldn't stop laughing at Rose not leaving Al alone! I could just imagine her always hiding behind a curtain or tapestry and doing commando rolls around Hogwarts, hahahaha!

I love the way Al stuck up to the Slytherins, it really reminded me of Harry when he was always so sassy to the meanies, hahahaha!

I love how nearly all of this reminds me of the series but not so overwhelming that it's practically a rewrite. It's new and different but still reminds me of why I loved the series so much.

This is just a brilliant story! Once I'm revealed (that sounds so mysterious, hehe!) I'm definitely favouriting and continuing to read on and wait for updates!

Great job! 10/10!

Author's Response: Chris isn't as bad as Oliver, which is good. I think Oliver was mentally insane.

My version of Roxanne is amazing. I love her as well. :)

Ugh, never mention Umbridge around me, because I hate her so much. I dislike Umbridge even more than Voldemort.

I could see Rose doing that as well. *laughs*

Oh, thanks! I wanted it to be different from Harry's year, but not too different, as some people change it so much it doesn't feel like the wizarding world anymore.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I really only expected you to review the first chapter, and it is lovely that you have kept continuing!


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Review #42, by Secret Santa The Mysterious Man

17th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

IT'S BEGUN. I nearly forgot about Zac and the other guy, I was too invested in Al's first year! THIS IS SO SCARY!

I hope Flitwick is okay, though! He doesn't deserve that!

On a brighter note, however, YAY AL GOT ON THE TEAM! I'm kind of glad that you made him a reserve player as I feel like it would be very unrealistic for both him and Harry to get on the team (as main players) but I really wanted him to be on the team.

I also have a feeling Rose and David are going to be like Ron and Hermione, ehehehe. Ah, childhood love! ♥

And bless, Al! He wants to be like his dad so he won't tell him! BUT HE SHOULD! Harry can deal with this! Al, I know you want to prove yourself but THIS IS DANGEROUS STUFF. DON'T DO IT, AL!

(He'll do it anyway, won't he? :p)

Anyway, this was another great chapter! I'll keep reading! :D

- Secret Santa :D

Author's Response: I was a little uncertain on where to place Albus on the Quidditch team, so what I did, I think, was good.

Well, if Albus told his dad, this story would have absolutely no plot whatsoever!

(Also, later he might want to, but he'll be kind of prevented)

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #43, by Secret Santa Flying

17th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Sorry about the delay, I hadn't realised it'd been a few days since I last reviewed!

Anyway, I loved this chapter! I love reading about Quidditch so much and you've written it really well! :)

I loved the little meeting between Al, Rose, David, Art and Hagrid! It was so sweet! And you got Hagrid's dialogue spot on! That's such a hard feat to achieve and you did it spectacularly!

Oh, poor Al! It must sometimes suck being Harry Potter's son and the poor little guy must feel so pressured! I felt so sorry for him! Hopefully he gets on the team for his own talent, not his last name, though!

This was a lovely chapter, again! I can't wait to read on!

- Secret Santa :)

Author's Response: I love writing about Christmas. Some people may find it unnecessary, but I don't think Hogwarts would be Hogwarts without Quidditch!

I'm glad you think that Hagrid's dialouge was right! When I was writing that part, I had the Harry Potter books out with Hagrid sections tabbed, and I stopped about every other word. Glad to hear the time taken was worth it!

Being the son of Harry Potter is very pressuring. I feel sorry for him myself.

I'm glad you like the chapter!


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Review #44, by Secret Santa Professor Dire

15th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hello again! This was another brilliant chapter! I love the way you write Albus, it's really well done!

Aw, I loved how excited Art got at all the magic stuff, I know I would be the same! It's just so sweet, I'm imagining him walking around constantly gaping and gasping, haha!

And Peeves! YAY! He's brilliant, haha! Peeves is probably one of my favourite characters and you've written him so well! :D

But the poor kids! Getting splattered with ink on your first day doesn't sound fun! D:

I love all the teachers you've written, they all seem very intriguing! And I have a feeling Dire is going to be like Snape - seems like the bad guy but is really trying to protect Albus. Maybe Selwyn is the baddie? Like Quirrel?

Oh and the letter from Harry! I have never laughed harder! The 'I am certain you are gasping this very second.' and then following with Albus scowling just made me laugh so hard, hahaha.

Anyway, this was another wonderful chapter! I'll 'see' you soon! ;)

10/10!

- Secret Santa :)

Author's Response: I would feel the same exact way as Art! Magic is brilliant, isn't it?

I'm glad you like my Peeves. :) It wouldn't be Hogwarts without him!

I'm really glad you liked my chapter! Happy holidays!



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Review #45, by Secret Santa Galleons, Books, Wands, and Jokes

13th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hey! I decided to review this quicker because I just realised how fast Christmas is! I was going to have a plan and review one chapter a day and then I looked at my calendar and there's only eleven days left! :p

Anyway, this was a sweet chapter! I liked the flashback and seeing the whole Potter family interact. I thought Lily was just adorable! Especially with the chocolate chips, it's just so innocent and sweet! :'D

Also, elder wood? Very interesting. I have a feeling that's going to be a major plot point! And phoenix feather - just like his father! Bless :')

This was a really sweet chapter, it really makes the readers realise how close the Potter family are and I'm guessing that's going to be extremely important because of the evil men in chapter one?

Anywho, again, I really liked this chapter! So far, it's definitely one of my favourites!

- Secret Santa :)

Author's Response: Only 11 days left?! That is terrifying. I've only been feeling Christmas-y for a few days!

I really wanted some way to include their trip to Diagon Alley, but I wanted to start right where the epilogue left off, so I decided this was the best way to do it.

I like the chocolate chips too. When I was Lily, I would have had the same exact reaction.

Elder wood is cool. According to Pottermore, it is the rarest wood type. Mysterious!

The Potter family is good and close: one thing Harry didn't have. But now he does, so that is good.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I proclaim you a wonderful Santa!


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Review #46, by Secret Santa The Feast

13th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hello again!

YAY, ALBUS IS IN GRYFFINDOR! The poor little guy had me worried that he'd end up hating his Hogwarts life! :p But I kinda feel like that the Sorting Hat was just messing around with him, trying to get him even more worried, hehehe! And poor Albus, falling off the stool! At least he wasn't too humiliated, ahaha!

I absolutely loved the Feast scene! It reminded me so much of Philosopher's Stone but not in a bad way, it was just so brilliant. I was grinning like a madman the whole time when I was reading it!

And the new characters seem interesting! They seem like a good bunch of mates for Albus to have!

I loved Al's confusion that Muggle pictures don't move - if only :p - it really reminded me of how flummoxed Ron was when Harry told him, haha!

Oh, and cheeky James. Nicking things from Harry's desk! I love how you made Harry edit the Map, I'd never thought of that! But it's a smart idea!

Anyway, this was a great chapter! I can't wait to read on!

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: Well, the sorting hat wasn't messing around with him, it genuinely was a difficult decision... as it should be. If he was in Slytherin, Albus would be very different.

Grinning is good. :)

Albus does have some pretty awesome new friends.

I tried thinking about Albus's reaction if he has seen pictures all his life that move, and then encounters one that doesn't. It is almost exactly the same as our reactions to moving pictures, except the situation is reversed!

Well, the map is out of date now, isn't it? It had to be edited to still be useful.

Thanks for the amazing review!


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Review #47, by Secret Santa The Extraordinary Arrival

12th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

(I'm going to start all my reviews like that now, hehe)

Hello again! I'm back!

This chapter was so good! You got to see Albus' personality really shine through and I love that you've made him similar to Harry when he was going through this. It really made me smile and feel all nostalgic :p

I also like Rose, she seems really sweet! And James is a little troublemaker, isn't he? But he seems harmless. And it's typical older brother-like that he antagonises his younger brother :p

Also, I LOVE the Sorting Hat's song! Did you make that up yourself? It's absolutely brilliant! I really enjoyed it! I have this weird thing that whenever I see a song in a book or fanfiction, I have to sing it and I sung along as usual and it just worked so well! Kudos!

I'm so curious as to whether Albus is a Slytherin or not?! I guess I'll just have to read on ;)

Anyway, this was another really good chapter! I love your style of writing as well as the plot and characters!

10/10

- Secret Santa! ;)

Author's Response: Merry Christmas to you too!

Albus is similar to Harry in some ways. Different in others, but certainly similar in this aspect.

Thanks! I did write it. One day, I just took a piece of looseleaf and wrote the song. I'm glad you like it, since I'm not the best poet.

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #48, by MargaretLane The Restricted Section

12th December 2013:
Great to see this up. Since the beginning of the month, I've been checking almost daily to see if it was. Looking forward to finding out what'll happen here.

Like the silent pellets. They could be useful.

Stomach flu is kind of an American term. I'm not even 100% sure exactly what it is. Something like the Winter Vomiting Bug or some kind of stomach bug, from what I can figure out.

Quiz too is very much an American term in that context. To me, a quiz is a game. I guess in a way, they are like a test, in that you answer questions and win by getting more right, but it isn't what you'd call a test at school.

*grins* When you first mentioned Madame Pince coming around and putting on the protective charms, I wondered if Rose and Albus were planning to spend the night there and have Art and David return in the morning with the Invisibility Cloak to sneak them out.

*laughs at "we haven't learnt those spells yet. We're first years"*

Remaining in the library all night would NOT be pleasant.

And I can quite understand why Albus would find it frustrating to have the book to hand and not be able to read it.

Really like the way Albus doubts David and Art. I've read a lot of fanfictions where the characters seem to completely trust people they've only known a matter of days or weeks (in at least one case I think it was hours) and never appear to question if this is wise. So it's good to see Albus doubt himself on that one.

Yikes, losing the Cloak is one thing I REALLY didn't expect. That'll put them in much greater danger from Zajecfer.

Author's Response: I thought that George definitely would have come out with more products, so I decided to add in silent pellets. I made that up on the fly, but I still think they are pretty cool.

Really? Stomach flu is an American term? I never knew that.

I guess I knew somewhere deep in my head that Quiz is an American term, I just forgot while writing this. To me, Quiz is basically a small test, but it can be school-related.

Thanks for correcting me on those two. You may not be British, but you certainly know the terms a lot better than I do.

Yeah, the plan wasn't super secretive, I just wanted to make the reader guess. And you guessed correctly. Actually, in the original draft, in chapter 17 I had Rose explaining the plan, but I decided it would be more fun for the reader to see it for themselves.

I've experienced the same exactly. Or more, there's a book I really, really want to read sitting across from me, but I have to get something done before I can sit and read it.

Yeah, it seems like in a lot of fics with first years, they make new friends and then confide in them with EVERYTHING. It's a bit unrealistic. Plus, I want Albus to be a little more flawed. A flawed hero.

Well, something had to go wrong with their plan, didn't it? So I decided to have them loose the cloak. There are other reasons for that as well.

Thank you for reviewing!!!



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Review #49, by Secret Santa The Rising Wizard

11th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hey there! I'm your Hufflepuff Secret Santa! :D

This chapter was so good, but I'm SO CURIOUS AS TO WHO EXACTLY ZAC IS AND WHO THE OTHER GUY IS!

You're extremely good a drawing the mystery out and this was a brilliant first chapter. I think it's great how you've shown what these men are capable of so you've already instilled this fear in the audience and I'm excited to read on to see what they do. Let's hope it doesn't involve massacring anymore innocent children, though! :(

Anyway, this was an amazing first chapter. I can't wait to read on!

8/10!

- Secret Santa! ;)

Author's Response: HUFFLEPUFF RULES!

Sorry, that just had to be said. :)

Zac and "the other guy" are intriguing. Unfortunately, you won't find out for a while. Sorry!

Thanks you for reviewing! You just made my day. :)


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Review #50, by MargaretLane Research Discoveries

2nd November 2013:
*grins* You would give Hufflepuff a victory, wouldn't you? It's good to see them getting a victory or two, since they're so often dismissed.

I think you've left out a word when you've written "Gryffindor had always gotten along well Hufflepuff." It should be "with Hufflepuff."

I like the rivalry there. It makes sense that there would be other rivalries other than just Gryffindor/Slytherin and it shows Hufflepuff being taken seriously.

LOVE the comment about Albus always procrastinating and just doing the homework due the next day. It gives an indication of his personality.

1966. Interesting.

"After his departure FROM Hogwarts" would probably sound better than "after his departure of Hogwarts." And "meddled around" sounds a bit informal for what appears to be a textbook. Something like "he began his experimentation with" might sound better.

This is really interesting though. Firstly, it's a dark potion. That indicates there's more to it than just opening the door to a secret chamber. Although, it's just hit me the association with Slytherin makes perfect sense, if he really was entering an office Slytherin added to the school. I do wonder why the potion is considered a dark one though. It doesn't sound as if it's just because it was created by Slytherin.

I was going to say that really doesn't help them at all, as all it really tells them is what they already knew. It doesn't tell them what the potion does or anything else about it really, except implying it's dodgy. Then I noticed the attribution at the end. If they can get hold of that book, they'll get all the info they need. But that won't be easy.

I'm also wondering why so many wizards used that potion and wanted it to be invisible so badly. That kind of argues against my theory that it opens a secret office Slytherin created in Hogwarts, since it's unlikely they'd all know about that. And Grindlewald didn't even attend Hogwarts. Plus a potion that opens one office would hardly be as useful as Avada Kedavra. But of course, it may open any hideout or something. Or there could be something in Slytherin's office that would be useful to Dark Wizards. He could well have left books on dark magic there or powerful objects or something.

*stares at Rose wanting to make the potion* I'm really not sure that's a good idea, but I do see her point. It's the best lead they have and one way of figuring out what's going on. And I guess when you are trying to prevent a murder, you do what you have to. It's kind of funny though, that Rose wants to make a dark potion and David doesn't. I'd have expected it to be the other way around.

I wonder if this is an indication of something to do with David. Usually he seems to be up for anything, so maybe his reluctance to get involved with anything to do with dark magic might indicate his family were affected by dark magic or something. Maybe he'd a grandparent or something that was killed or tortured by Voldemort or locked in one of the camps. One of his grandparents could have been Muggleborn. Or maybe he's just like James and just feels very strongly about hating the Dark Arts. I guess there doesn't HAVE to be a significant reason. Or like Sirius, he could have members of his family involved in the Dark Arts, maybe somebody was jailed for it or something and he doesn't want to be like them. *ponders*

This is a bit confusing: "Fred and Louis are both jerks and Louis isn't as much." It sounds like one of the "Louises" should be "James".

I'm looking forward to finding out Rose's plan.

Author's Response: Hufflepuff is often dismissed. *sighs* Hopefully Albus will see that as well someday, even though he is a Gryffindor.

Gryffindor and Slytherin are intense in their rivalries, but I think they should have healthy rivals in other houses as well.

Good suggestions on the wording for the textbooks. I've never tried to write any formal subjects like in encyclopedias or textbooks, so it is rather difficult.

The potion is considered dark since it is technically a poison. That doesn't seem like a very good potion.

The reason many wizards want the potion (without the red steam) is so they could get it to wizards with defenses and who are prepared for death attempts, and maybe even a bit paranoid. Think about Mad-Eye Moody. He had so many defenses, I doubt anybody even knew where he lived. So they couldn't just go and attack him. But, if death eaters could deliver a poison to him via owl-messaging, it would then be in his hands. No doubt Moody would then proceed to check it out and destroy it, because it is probably dangerous. But the posion will not be revealed through revealing spells, or dark detectors like sneakoscopes (the textbook didn't mention that part, but it is true) and no matter what type of tests Moody put it to, the result would come out clean. That is a HUGE advantage for dark wizards.

David is like James (Harry's father) in the way how he likes jokes and stuff but strongly opposes dark magic.

Not that you point it out, that wording about Fred and Louis was a bit weird. What I was trying to say is that Fred and Louis are both jerks, but Louis isn't as much as a jerk as Fred is. Hopefully that clears the confusion; I need to go back and change that.

I really like hearing all your theories. It helps me figure out what I need to clarify on, if I'm guiding you along the path I want you to be, and if I'm revealing too much or too little. Thanks for the review!


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