89 Reviews Found

Review #26, by smsubramaniyan The Mysterious Man

20th December 2014:
Good chapter. But, if Albus doesn't tell to Harry, then Rose can tell to Ron, right?

Author's Response: Filch is watching all the mail- not just Albus's. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Albus is best friends with Rose, Art, and David. So no, Rose probably can't get a message to Ron. :(

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #27, by smsubramaniyan Flying

20th December 2014:
Rose and David - like Ron and Hermoine?

Author's Response: Rose and David are similar in the way they bicker compared to Hermione and Ron, but there are many differences between them. David has a greater emotional range than a teaspoon.

I won't say whether they end up together- I think I know whether they do, but I could change my mind eventually.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #28, by smsubramaniyan Professor Dire

20th December 2014:
Is it ok,if albus shows his invisibility cloak to all in the main hall?

Author's Response: He probably shouldn't show it to everyone in the Great Hall, but he didn't realize he'd be getting the cloak. There weren't many people paying attention anyway, except for the people at his table.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #29, by smsubramaniyan Galleons, Books, Wands, and Jokes

20th December 2014:
Nice chapter. I think the wand will have good part in this story.

Author's Response: Albus's wand is interesting, isn't it? An elder wand... Which is the rarest type if wand wood.

Thank you for reviewing! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. :)



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Review #30, by magnolia_magic The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
Hi! Happy Hot Seat day! I'm so excited to be able to review this, since I've never read it before. I really enjoyed this first chapter!

I love that you chose to tell the story as though the HP books didn't exist, so that everything feels fresh and new. Your descriptions of the wands as "sticks," and the way you talk about Parseltongue without actually using the word...it all gave me that feeling of reading the books for the first time, and discovering the magic. It was a really enjoyable experience :)

Your characters are really interesting, too. I love the idea of Voldemort having a mentor in the shadows. It's actually a pretty scary thought, and it does open the door for future Voldemort-like people to come onto the scene. Like Zac. I can feel his eagerness to prove himself, and I hate that this old dude is basically training him to kill people and cause terror. The scene where he used the mass killing curse (a game-changer, definitely) on that group of sweet kids was so sad. I actually gasped at my computer, it was so unexpected! You did a great job of pulling me in with this chapter.

I'm hooked! You did an excellent job with this opening, and I really enjoyed reading it. I hope you have fun with the Hot Seat today, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the lack of magical knowledge! That was done on purpose, so I'm glad you liked it!

When I was coming up with Zajecfer, I realized I needed a reason for there two be two dark lords in such a short time period away from each other. I figured a shared mentor is a plausible explanation.

Zajecfer was no innocent guy before Slytherin started helping him out. Zajecfer had already committed some crimes.

You gasped at the computer? *Puffs chest out proudly* I suppose I shouldn't be happy at deaths, but... *squeals happily*

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #31, by likeness_of_a_seabird The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review!

Ooh, that was an interesting first chapter! Iíve got so many questions I donít know where to start!

First of all, I really liked how you started by describing the Muggle family, their ordinary evening and how the children were playing in the yard. Then you switched to the two men and how out of place they looked in that neighbourhood (or would have looked if they had been visible to the Muggles). That was a very effective way to begin a story.

Then one of the men kills the children just to try out a mass-killing curse (!) and the men discuss Tom (Riddle, right?) and how the Ministry has no idea trouble is about to come. The older man clearly knew Voldemort, might have been even close to his inner circle. My first question is who is this man? He speaks so familiarly about Voldemort, even uses his real name, something a lot of people never did. Iíve been trying to think who he might be but so far Iíve got no clue about his identity. The second question concerns the younger man. Who is he? He obviously admired Voldemort, to the point of copying everything he did. What was his real name and who is his brother? So many questions, so few answersÖ for now at least!

And then the twist at the end! The two men are planning on killing James and Albus, thinking it canít be too difficult since they are only first and second yearsÖ They obviously donít know that Potters are notoriously difficult to kill even when theyíre babies. ;) The older man is quite right to tell Zac not to underestimate them.

This was such an interesting beginning! Iím looking forward to reading more!

- Emmi

Author's Response: I would agree with you that the men are probably talking about Tom Riddle. As regards to the old man... I came up with the plot because I wondered, "Where did Voldemort get all his education from, other than books and things? And exactly what was he up to in those years between resigning at Borgin and Burkes and getting and applying for a job with Dumbledore?

Yes, the older man is right to tell Zac to be careful and things. Unfortunately, Zac is a bit hot-headed, and eager to prove himself to the world.

Thank you so much for reviewing!


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Review #32, by marauderfan The Mysterious Man

19th December 2014:
David's humour is so great, hahaha Professor Dire defeating an opposing Seeker just by glaring at him :P I'm glad Albus made the reserve team though! I think it's realistic that he wouldn't have made an actual position on the team, being only eleven and competing against kids who were a few years older. Still, it says a lot for him that he made it as reserve! Good for him :)

Ooh, I remember Lord Zajecfer from the beginning - sounds like he's up to nothing good. He's got some power now and isn't afraid to jump right in there with his plan of whatever he's doing, and it worries me that he wants to do whatever he's doing at Hogwarts. Scary! Btw, I tried to unscramble his name again and came up with nothing. :p

Rose is a smart one! Albus should listen to her. After all, it's not like this time they have Dumbledore on their side watching over to make sure they're safe as they poke their noses into things - they would be smart to involve adults. Yes, they've got no proof, but I think someone might listen given how scary the idea is!

Great chapter! I love the way you're building up this story!

Author's Response: Professor Dire's glare is pretty powerful. *grins*

Albus is a good Quidditch player, but not as good as Harry, so that is why he is a reserve.

Good for you for trying to unscramble Zajecfer's name! Keep in mind, it might not have a wizarding name, or even a name you've heard of. It could, but not necessarily. It might not even not be meant to be unscrambled... keep in mind that word "might".

Rose is smart! Unfortunately, Albus is one of those Gryffindors who lacks a brain for the most part, so he might not listen to Rose. *sigh*

Thanks for the review!


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Review #33, by marauderfan Flying

19th December 2014:
Aw! I love that they're having tea with Hagrid :D

Wow, Fang is a super ancient dog at this point.

I love the friendship you've established between the four so far - they get on really well, and seem like a good mix of traits to balance each other out as well.

Al's desire to be good at Quidditch is really understandable given the pressures from his parents' successes in it. Likewise I really understand his desire to not be the same as them, to be his own person and not just famous for his father's fame. I think that's a very natural reeling the Potter kids would have.

Oh my goodness, how dare you leave the end of the chapter there ;) Did he get on? Aah! :p

Author's Response: Wizards live longer than normal people... so I'll just say that wizarding dogs live longer than normal dogs as well.

Yes, I like the friendship between Albus and his three friends as well. They work well together.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to grow up with a famous family. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that.

Chapter cliffhangers aren't bad, since there's always the next one... *nudge nudge*

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #34, by marauderfan Professor Dire

19th December 2014:
Happy Hot Seat Day!!

It's really exciting to come back to this story as I read some of it ages ago and loved it!

Haha! I loved Harry's letter, the "I sooo know you stole my map, but it's okay" :p And yay for getting the Invisibility Cloak! I guess Harry is perfectly aware that his kids are going to break all sorts of rules, so this will make it at least so they don't get in trouble as much for it :P

Poor Art, he really is having the toughest time adjusting! All the weird plants and the ghosts and Peeves (whom I was super excited to see in here haha).. it's cool because you're reminding the reader of all the magic in the wizarding world, kind of like how Harry first saw everything in the first book.

What a twist on things. A cheerful Potions Teacher, I can't even imagine what the class would be like. It just seems like such an alien idea. XD And a cold, calculating Tranfig professor, he's going to be one to watch out for. I wonder if the students will learn to just raise their hands when they don't know the answer, to avoid being called on? Kind of like reverse psychology.

Ooh, is Rose interested in Divination? I bet her mum would be thrilled. :p

Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Wait, I'm on the hot seat today??? *Checks common room* I almost forgot about that!

Harry, being a known rule-breaker himself, can't really go to his kids and say "Don't break the rules."

Art isn't having a terrible time adjusting, just as much as most muggle-borns. Hermione didn't seem to have much of a problem, but she read a ton of books before school started and became like an expert on the wizarding world...

Slughorn was pretty cheerful! A cheerful Potions teacher isn't that out of the question. But Snape... *shudders*

I modeled Professor Dire off of a teacher I had when I was eleven. Reverse psychology wouldn't necessarily work... here's why: On the first few days of school, Dire takes notice of the students who seem a bit shy and not incredibly smart in his subject. He makes note of the students who seem to be doing the worse. He picks a few students out from the class, and calls on them CONSTANTLY. Once you're picked, you are doomed. You're called on like at least every other question. When tests come around, the lists of the "picked on" students might change a little bit, but for the most part they stay the same. The students who do poorly are called on to answer questions, while the students on the smarter side of the spectrum are rarely called on, since they most likely already know the answer. The teacher, in this case Professor Dire, thinks they are trying to help out the student by pushing to them to try harder, but they're actually just intimidating them and making them do worse. So later on, raising your hand won't make any difference. Luckily I did okay on my tests and things, but I pitied the two kids in my class who were subjected to the "death stare" multiple times every day.

Rose is different than her mom in a few ways... her subject interests are the most obvious difference.

Thank you thank you thank you for reviewing!!


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Review #35, by MargaretLane Tears and Laughter

21st August 2014:
Yay, the final chapter is up. Not that I want this to be over, but I do want some answers.

*laughs at Harry's comment that he's been unconscious often enough to know how people feel afterwards* That probably wasn't meant to be amusing, but it kind of is because it's so true.

Looks like Harry's going to do the Dumbledore thing here and explain what needs to be explained.

There should be a small "h" on "his dad said bashfully," as it's part of the same sentence as the dialogue.

And love the way Harry is still somewhat intimidated by Madame Pomfrey nearly 20 years after leaving school. She is rather formidable.

There shouldn't be an apostrophe before the "s" in "Slytherins", as it's a plural, not a possessive.

I like the fact Harry says he may not know all the answers. That makes sense. It's sort of unlikely he WOULD know everything, as obviously he didn't know of Slytherin's continued existence until now.

So Harry essentially killed Zajecfer or would have only for the Horcruxes. I hadn't expected THAT. I'd assumed it would be like many of the battles in the books when the villain escapes, but this DOES make sense. It's actually strange people don't use more serious spells often in the books. I mean, I wouldn't expect the good guys to use the Killing Curse or anything, but I'd expect the Death Eaters to use it pretty much constantly and I'd expect the Aurors and Order of the Phoenix to use more body binding curses and ones like that.

And it makes sense Harry'd let him tell Rose, Art and David, since they already KNOW a fair amount and would probably be more worried and curious if they DIDN'T get the full story.

I REALLY like the way you show the emotional effects events have on the characters. It makes sense Flitwick would feel very guilty that, far from protecting the students, he actually helped endanger them, albeit against his will. He's bound to feel he SHOULD have been able to throw off the Imperius Curse, especially since he was a duelling champion, wasn't he? So he'd probably feel like he was a failure in that way as well as worrying he could have helped harm a student. Poor Flitwick.

And I love Harry's explanation that he's no Dumbledore. It makes sense Flitwick wouldn't have Dumbledore's abilities, since nobody does. And it makes him more of an individual character rather than just "the Headmaster".

He could be well over a thousand years old, really, as the Sorting Hat said he was created "about a thousand years ago" about 23 years before this and presumably Slytherin was pretty old at that point, as they were wondering how to sort the students after they died, so say he was sixty. Now of course when the hat said "about a thousand," it could have been 900 or even less, but it could equally have been 1,050, in which case Slytherin would be over 1,100. But yeah, either way, he's ANCIENT.

This is more just a personal opinion than anything else, but I think "magically weak" might sound better than "magic weak".

I also really like the fact Albus doesn't get over what happened when Harry points out it was an accident and that murder is intentionally killing somebody, because it's not that easy to just get over something like that.

And I love the fact Harry lets Albus get up without telling Poppy.

I think Harry is blaming himself unfairly too. They didn't die on his behalf. Even if he had never existed, they would still have fought Voldemort to protect Muggleborns and others. It wasn't just Harry who was at risk from him.

Oh, you asked if my series was going to get darker. I'd add to the answer that this is probably darker than it's ever likely to get. There are some parts that might get close, but probably only one of the things here at once. Not somebody under the Imperius Curse, being forced to do evil things AND attempts to murder the main characters AND the main character blaming themselves for a death.

OK, David's theory is bizarre. And hysterically funny.

Hmm, I'm guessing you're getting rid of Fuchs for a reason. Maybe so the replacement can be a suspect next year. That would indicate there's going to be a mystery, for the reader, I mean. Whereas here, we knew who at least one villain was.

Aw, *huggles the Hufflepuffs* It's so nice of them not to celebrate publicly so they don't make others feel bad. *huggles them some more*

*laughs at this ending with Albus hoping there'll be more adventures to come when the first year of my series ended with my Albus hoping there WOULDN'T* And my Albus didn't even go through anything as bad as yours did.

Oooh, the title of the next story is intriguing. I wonder if the Chosen Four are Albus and his three friends, but that would sort of include Albus twice. But you might just need to work it that way, so the title works with your others. Hmm

Author's Response: Yeah, Harry did sort of do the Dumbledore thing. I would use Dumbledore himself, except for the fact that he is dead. *laughs*

Good point on the small "h" thing, and the s.

Yep, Harry's pretty awesome, but he isn't all-knowing. His guess on why Slytherin died and Albus survived is pretty good!

Yeah, I think maybe the Aurors use different types of curses to throw the enemy off? It could be that certain spells have only one counter-curse, so it'd be really easy to deflect them if they're only shooting one type. Then again, there is the shield charm... hmm.

Harry trusted Ron and Hermione with a lot of valuable information, so I think Harry would say, "Okay Albus, if you trust your friends, you can tell them."

Yeah, I think Flitwick will spend the entire summer before school recovering, physically and emotionally. Poor him!

When the founders were born is kind of hazy. On the chocolate frog cards (When I went to Orlando, I got the one for Salazar Slytherin) it just says "Medieval". There's never a direct date of when Hogwarts was being created or anything. We just know the rough time period.

I agree with you, "magically weak" sounds much better.

Harry is blaming himself a little unfairly, but look at it from his point of view. These people fought because they didn't want to hand Harry over to Voldemort. If Harry hadn't gone to Hogwarts, the battle would never have happened. Even when people say, "You're a hero!" he thinks, "If I'm a hero, then how did I let these people die?" He's mostly over it (Time is the ultimate healer) but I think it resurfaces every once in a while.

I LOVE David's theory. I came up with that on the spot, and i was grinning as i wrote it, unlike ten minutes before when I was writing the graveyard scene.

Yes, I am getting rid of Fuchs for a reason, even though I like Fuchs a lot. But I'm going to have a LOT of fun with the next teacher! *bounces excitedly*

*Huggles more Hufflepuffs* See? We're the best house. (Though i do imagine they had a party in their own common room.)

Well, Albus isn't exactly hoping for another adventure... you know how when you're doing something and you think it's the worst thing ever, but after it's over you think, "Oh, that's not too bad"? Well, that's basically what Albus is feeling at the end. The danger is over, he survived, and it was actually a little exciting.

Thanks for reviewing! And I'm sorry I took FOREVER getting back to you, I had 12 other people staying with me in the same house, so I didn't really have access to the computer.


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Review #36, by MargaretLane Slytherin's Office

7th July 2014:
And I finally get around to reading this. *cheers*

Hmm, the man is somebody presumed dead. That did cross my mind when reading the last chapter.

Yi-i-ikes, THAT, however, is the last thing I expected. Older wasn't exactly an exaggeration.

This is a downright bizarre comparison, but the part about the younger brother reminded me of Padraig and William Pearse. Padraig Pearse was one of those who led the 1916 Rising in Ireland and William was his younger brother, who by all accounts, took part largely out of loyalty to the older brother he adored. Both were shot after the Rising, although there seems to have been absolutely no reason to shoot William, who wasn't even an important person among the rebels. He seems to have been killed solely for having a well-known brother.

This story explains some stuff I always wondered about, like how on earth did Tom Riddle find out he was descended from Slytherin, when it's questionable whether he even knew who his mother was and even more so, how did he find out about the Basilisk?

And I love the fact that the two men deliberately set up a mystery for Albus, assuming he'd be like his father. It makes so much more sense than that they'd have stumbled upon the clues completely by themselves and that none of the teachers or older students would have noticed anything. That makes sense if the villains WANTED them to be the ones to notice things.

This sentence seems to be missing something: "The best way of dealing with Harry Potter someone he loves."

Ah! It sounds like they are trying to prevent Harry from defeating them. That makes sense. Considering he defeated Voldemort at the age of 17 and without even completing his magical education, how much more dangerous an opponent would he be in his 30s or 40s, with Auror training and a good deal of experience behind him.

"I simply want the satisfaction to be the start of England's third wizarding war" sounds a bit clumsy. "The satisfaction of being" would probably sound better.

OK, I'm flummoxed, both as to how Albus survived and how Slytherin was killed. Looks like there's a lot of information yet to come.

I really love the way you have Albus react to Slytherin's death. Some stories just gloss over the deeds the good guys perform. And something like that is bound to have an effect on you. Even if Albus didn't intend to kill him, even if it would have been self-defense even if he did and even if Slytherin should have died long ago anyway, it's still a traumatic experience if he did kill him. Though I wonder if there's more to this.

Very surprising ending. Really didn't expect that.

And I am really interested as to what's going to happen in the later stories. I assume this'll mean Zajecfer will be on his own, but who knows?

Author's Response: It was meant to be surprising revelation. If you HAD guessed earlier that the man wass Salazar Slytherin, I would have been really surprised. Slughorn was not a bad guess.

Slytherin's brother is interesting. In canon no siblings are ever mentioned for the Founders, but it doesn't make sense for them all to be only children.

After I finished reading the HP series, I wondered what Voldemort did those 10 years of absence between working at Borgin and Burkes and re-applying for Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. So I invented a reason with Salazar Slytherin, and planned to make an Albus Potter fic about it.

Since I know what I want to say, if a sentence is missing a word I don't notice. Thanks for pointing that out. I really should get a beta reader or something.

Looking back, quite a few of these sentences are clumsily written. I'll have to fix that sometime. I wrote most of this chapter in one sitting since I was so excited, so I didn't edit as I wrote like I normally do.

You'll see more of Albus's reaction about Slytherin's death in the next chapter. I was surprised at the end of Harry's first year that he hardly reacted to learning that Quirrel was dead. He just killed a guy! Even though Quirrel was bad, shouldn't an eleven year old boy feel guilty about killing a man?

A lot of answers are coming next chapter.


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Review #37, by MargaretLane Down Near the Dungeons

10th June 2014:
*laughs* Over here, it's more like April showers turn to May showers turn to June showers.

I think they are right to go to bed. There comes a point when lack of sleep is going to disadvantage you more than an extra hour or two's study is going to help.

LOVE the idea of the Death Eaters being the villains in a book.

*sighs* I think the Invisibility Cloak could be useful in case they run into Zajecfer. If there is a secret office, he could be waiting there. Or the potion could transport them to wherever he usually hangs out.

Well done Harry for figuring out something odd is going on.

And I love the way Albus believes Harry is unbeatable and has no worries at all that Zajecfer could kill his father or anything. It's sort of typical of how a twelve year old might think and really shows Albus's naivety.

Ahh, what a cliffhanger. I'm assuming this is the older man and I REALLY want to know who he is. I can't wait for the next chapter.

And I REALLY want to know what Albus thinks is impossible. That this guy could be a villain? But how does he know now that he's a villain? I guess he could guess, but you know, it could be somebody who is helping Harry try to figure out what's going on or something for all Albus knows. Maybe he just assumes whoever is in there must be in league with Zajecfer. Or maybe there's something else, like maybe this is somebody he believes dead or something. Since the older man appears to be at least as old as Voldemort, that is quite possible.

Though the only person older than Voldemort who died during the books I can think of is Dumbledore and somehow I doubt he's in league with Zajecfer or with Voldemort.

I'm sticking with Slughorn as my guess as to who the older man is.

Author's Response: I forgot that the UK gets a lot of rain. Oh well, it's just a saying. Maybe next year there will be lots of rainy weather.

I've learned the hard way that lack of sleep because of studying might make the test day difficult. I'm one of those people who tend to do all of their studying the day before.

Yes, the invisibility cloak would be useful. Rose is often smart, but sometimes she can make a silly mistake.

Albus has heard stories his entire life about Harry, and Ron probably took the liberty of exaggerating them. If Albus knew how Harry felt starting Hogwarts, Al would probably be shocked. To Albus, Harry's practically a god.

What Albus finds "impossible" is the identity of the man.

It would be an amazing plot twist if Dumbledore is a bad guy and hoped to kill off Harry by telling him that he's a horcrux, but Harry outwitted him. Yes, I also highly doubt Dumbledore is in league with Voldemort. They don't seem very similar.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I know you're super busy and it means a lot to me that you do this. :)


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Review #38, by MargaretLane Brewing Troubles

24th May 2014:
I giggled at the Easter bunny tasting like Brussels sprouts. I actually ought to have made mention of Easter being Fred and George's birthday in 1st year. I only realised it after I'd written the chapter and couldn't be bothered rewriting.

*laughs at them giving the candy from all three of them even though Albus had forgotten* Just because it reminds me of something that may happen in a couple of chapters in my story. Lalala.

By the way, "candy" is an American term. They'd probably say "sweets" or "sweets and chocolate."

Oh gosh, I didn't expect that. Putting in too much of an ingredient could send them right back to the start again. I hope they can find a way to counteract the effects of the extra ingredient.

He could probably claim he wanted to practice brewing Herbicide for his exams or something, if it's a potion they studied that year.

Aw, that's a sweet, and utterly believable reason for him to want to brew herbicide.

Author's Response: I like to know the dates of most of my events, so I pulled up a 2018 calendar online and found that Easter fell on April Fools Day! It was too good to ignore.

British people don't say candy? Now that I think about it, the word "candy" was never mentioned in Harry Potter. I learn something new every day!

The potion is very exhausting and difficult. Albus was bound to make a mistake somewhere.

Yes, he probably could have said he wanted to practice, good point. I didn't think of that. But Albus is really good at brewing potions, so Fawley would realize something else was up. Also, he needed a reason to keep it. Most likely, Fawley would have just kept the potion, which is what usually happens in potion class. In my head canon, the successful potions brewed in class Fawley keeps in case it is needed.

Thanks for reason!


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Review #39, by MargaretLane The Hidden Room

2nd May 2014:
Well, yes, with Zajecfer around, Albus's life could DEFINITELY change for the worse in the blink of an eye, though I guess Neville doesn't know about that. I wonder if that line is some sort of foreshadowing.

At one point Art says "as long as you know the Gryffindor's", when Albus says he is bad with names. Since there is more than one Gryffindor, the apostrophe should be after the s.

Hmm, so it looks like I may well have been wrong about the hidden room being a room where Zajecfer is hiding.

This room could well continue to play a part throughout your series, if the adults don't find out about it.

And I LOVE the suggestion that it could be where Hogwarts began. I've been actually reading some stuff lately (long story) that involved the opening of the Sisters of Mercy's schools in Ireland and it was talking about how a lot of the secondary schools started in a room or a couple of rooms in the convent, back in the 19th century, when not many people went to school beyond the age of maybe 12 or 14. I really like the idea of Hogwarts starting off much smaller than it finally became.

*laughs* With the chapter called "The Hidden Room", being near the end of the story and when it began with Albus talking about how he wanted to begin brewing the potion, I assumed they'd find out where Zajecfer went by the end, but no, I've to wait a little longer. I guess it can't be MUCH longer though.

Rose says "Aunt Hermione brewed Polyjuice Potion in her second year." I think she'd say "Mum".

Looking forward to seeing what they find out.

Author's Response: Just about anyone's life can change quickly. Neville might have not been changed very quickly, but he went huge character development. Neville knows better than most.

Good point about the apostrophe thing. I didn't catch that.

Yes, I'm very excited about their secret room. It definitely can be used throughout the series, I'm already planning for its usage.

Yes, the chapter title was a little misleading. That was planned.

I doubt Hogwarts was as big as it was now. Where would the get the funding? I suppose one of the founders, or all, could have been rich, but they probably didn't know how sucessful the school would be. I like the idea of Hogwarts Castle evolving over the centuries.

You don't have to wait much longer. The exciting things start happening in Chapter 24.

Yes, Rose would say "Mum". Good catch! I usually just notice grammar and spelling and things.

Thank you for reviewing! Every review you leave brings another smile to my day. :)


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Review #40, by MargaretLane A Talk With Japser

2nd April 2014:
I found this chapter completely by accident. *laughs* I was just flicking through the "recently added" to see if there was anything worth reading and realised "oh gosh, the next chapter of Albus Potter and Slytherin's Office is up. YAY!"

And the chapter title seems somewhat intriguing.

Yeah, that's intriguing all right - how Albus's magic works. I wonder if there's something to it or if you are just showing how different people have different strengths and weaknesses and what most people find easy can be difficult for somebody and something others find difficult can be easy for them. *pays close attention*

*laughs* I've just been writing about snow. I guess it makes sense that both our stories would mention it since Hogwarts is in Scotland, but it's still funny that both the chapter I was writing and the one I'm reading today had mentions of it.

And *laughs*, Slytherin were the worst team in my Albus's first year too, though things are changing now in my current story.

The wording of this paragraph in general seems kinda confused: "A few days before the match, Albus, David, and Rose ate dinner near the end of the day. Homework buried itself in Art, so Art planned to come down later. Albus found himself in a predicament, for he ate some pasta as Art came running into the great hall, eager about something."

You've also had Art saying that "people who are quiet are really good listener." It should be "listeners".

The word "promoted" doesn't really fit in the line "the next day promoted a nerve-wracking day for Gryffindor". Something like "proved" would fit better.

I actually laughed out loud and Louis saying he knows he's not supposed to be biased, but hey, he's a Gryffindor.

LOVE all the statistics. I'm getting the impression Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff all have pretty much equal chance of winning.

Oh, yikes, I did NOT expect THAT to happen. When they were thirty points ahead, I was wondering would that be enough, 'cause I think they said they needed more than thirty points, but then I thought it was probably thirty OR more. I was sure Gyffindor would win the cup or at least get to the final. Especially when Ravenclaw were doing so well, I kind of thought Gryffindor were going to stage a massive comeback.

I think, though, it's good to have the house of the main characters not get into the final. It makes it different from other stories. Plus, when you're writing the whole seven years, it's a bit unrealistic if the one house wins every year.

Bet the Gryffindors will be annoyed at their Seeker for catching the Snitch then, when they could possibly have got another goal if they'd waited.

I'm with Rose on this one. A Dark Lord trying to kill you is a bit more serious than losing a match.

*laughs at the comment that sulking about Quidditch is a good use of time*

I thought of that just before they mentioned it - what Zajecfer intended to do if he hadn't killed Albus by the summer, but I guess he's planning to have it done by then. Maybe he even has something planned that they, and we, don't know about.

And ooh, this makes it sound like Zajecfer might have some other reason to be in Hogwarts as well. MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN SLYTHERIN'S OFFICE HE'S TRYING TO FIND.

Author's Response: Magic is a strange and beautiful thing. Part of the reason Albus has an easier time is that he doesn't have to pronounce the words, which is something he has trouble with.

Yeah, maybe next year Slytherin won't be the worst. I don't know. It was actually a coincidence they ended up the worst: I wanted Gryffindor to lose to Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, but beat Slytherin. So that's just how it worked out.

Yes, I agree, that is TERRIBLE wording. I'll fix it.

Yes, it should be "listeners". Good catch!

Louis does have a point, doesn't he? It'd be impossible for him not to be biased.

I love the statistics too. For a few of the numbers I actually had to do some *gasp* math. But I had a lot of fun writing it.

Yeah, and Gryffindor never won the house cup until Harry's third year. So why shouldn't Gryffindor win this year?

They'll be a little annoyed at her, but the majority of the Gryffindor team realizes she had to catch the snitch then or the other seeker would have gotten it. She's a good seeker, just not undefeatable.

Yes, I'm with Rose as well. Boys are ridiculous when it comes to Quidditch. Just because I write my main character's actions doesn't mean I agree with them.

Why is Zajecfer at Hogwarts? Will we ever know? *wink wink*





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Review #41, by MargaretLane Two Peculiar Subjects

24th February 2014:
LOVE the title of this chapter. I love seeing classes and the suggestion that they will be peculiar intrigues me. *goes to see what is going on*

*laughs at Albus searching through a trunk for reasons you will appreciate*

Oh ONLY ten ingredients! That should be no problem, so. /sarcasm

I think you are missing a word when Filch asks if they are ordering dungbombs. You've written, "'no,' told him."

Yes, I think Hermione MIGHT get suspicious if they asked "by the way, how did you break into the Potions stores?" And the people reading the letters would probably be suspicious too.

*laughs at Filch getting more and more paranoid*

*laughs at Albus saying "um, not David" after worrying somebody'd be offended if he chose somebody else* I think it's more offensive when he chooses somebody as the person he'd least trust. I don't blame him though. David doesn't appear the most careful. I did laugh out loud at him blurting that out though.

Yeah, he can hardly say, "no, I need to get to Potions so we can steal something from the stores, can he?" It reminds me a little of this time our science teacher kept us late to tidy up the lab after an experiment and people started arguing, "but we haven't our homework done for x class (can't remember what class it was now). We need our break to get it done it."

I like the fact that Albus has a specific problem with the spells. It makes sense that different things would cause difficulty for different people and it gives more depth than just saying he's good or bad at a particular subject.

*laughs at the Forgetfulness Potion making them forget what step they were on* I used that for an eagle's question once with "what potion would you not know you'd taken?"

And of course, it would give Albus a great excuse for asking even slightly stupid questions. I hadn't thought of that. He can even repeat a question if he runs out of things to say to distract him and pretend he's forgotten he asked.

It might be better to make "don't worry about the fumes too much" and "they shouldn't affect you too badly" two separate sentences.

And I like the idea that the fumes become a problem as there are so many potions of it being brewed at the same time. That makes sense.

Oooh, cliffhanger. I wonder what they'll do now.

Author's Response: Oh yeah, I never really thought about how in our stories our characters both search through trunks. I never seem to realize the similarities until you point them out.

Well, the potion has quite a few ingredients, so 10 isn't that bad...

I missed a word! That's the doom of knowing what's supposed to happen when you proofread.

Yes, I know the feeling of needing to tell someone that you can't do something, but don't want to tell them. I don't talk about fanfiction much, so if somebody asks me to do something, I think "I really need to work on this one chapter!" but I don't tell them, and end up doing whatever they want me to do.

Oh yes, Albus could repeat questions. Good suggestion; I never thought of that.


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Review #42, by MargaretLane Marauder Missions

12th January 2014:
Yay, new chapter of Albus Potter and Slytherin's Office. And the chapter title is intriguing. Hmm. *goes to read*

Love your first paragraph. You really capture the emotions they are feeling, particularly Albus.

This is really, really nit-picky, but one thing I would say is there are a couple of places in it where you could replace the names with pronouns. Like you've already said David and Art lost the Invisibility Cloak, so you could just say Albus was angry with them rather than using their names again. As I said, REALLY nit-picky, but the paragraph is so emotional and powerful and I feel using their names again just slows it down that bit.

*laughs* I think you hinted at this part in a review to my stories - about James being unwilling to help them. I think he might help get the Invisibility Cloak back though, because he would want to be able to use it himself.

*laughs at Albus figuring out James would be in the kitchen* How typical of him!

And I love the planning they are doing. Plastering Trelawney's wall with itching powder and replacing her crystal balls with pumpkins are exactly the kind of things I could imagine James doing. I'd love to see some of his pranks actually.

Master Shafiq?

So THAT'S why Albus was eavesdropping. I couldn't figure out why he wanted to know what James was planning, though I should have guessed. It's so OBVIOUS now that it's been explained.

Aw, poor Albus. I mean I think it's good he doesn't like blackmailing people, but the part about not being used to standing up to James gives me sympathy for him.

I really like the indication Albus trusts Rose more than Art and David. It makes sense as they've known each other all their lives, whereas he's only known the others a few months. It makes sense he'd want to confide in her.

That mission went fairly well. I was expecting Filch to appear or something. Thought Art might have to distract him or that he might shout at them that Filch was on his way back and they'd have to rush things.

I like the mention of the kitchens being better known now than in Harry's time, because of course, things would have changed. The wizarding world seems to change fairly slowly, but still, everything is not going to remain the same. And I like the way Albus refers to "his father's time" as if it's the Dark Ages or something (or rather the Golden Art of Art and Learning as the same period was over here; Ireland likes to be different, it seems). It makes sense. After all, it happened before he was even born.

*laughs at the idea of Albus being able to use Snape's ability because he has his middle name*

And yeah, I can definitely see why they wouldn't want any of their cousins involved and if Hermione could brew the Polyjuice potion in 2nd year, I reckon Albus can do it.

And guess what: it is the 12th of January, so Happy Birthday Albus! *grins* Weird his birthday is around the same time in both our stories. I mean it's the 8th of December in mine, but that's only a month earlier.

And you know what I was thinking recently? I'd love to see Flitwick's reaction at the end of this story when he realises he's unwittingly been helping a Dark Wizard in his attempt to kill a couple of his students. You might already have planned to show that, but if it isn't shown in this, I'd love to see a one-shot about it or something. Although I'm sure you've enough to write with this whole series, without writing stuff just 'cause I want to see it. It would be interesting though. I mean, how horrific a realisation must that be?!

This is one of your better chapters, I think. Really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: You have a good point. I'm kind of paranoid when it comes to pronouns, because I used to say "they" all the time for papers and such, and my mom would be ask me who are "they"? But you're right, repeating Art and David that many times is a bit overkill.

Yeah, I did hint at that part. I did it knowing that you would read it in just a few weeks.

James's pranks are brilliant. Unfortunately, you won't see most of them for a long time.

Shafiq is the last name of James's best friend John. I should probably clarify that. Even though I'm sure I've mentioned it once or twice, but it's probably hard to remember things from multiple chapters ago.

I like having the reader not knowing what Albus is doing until he does it, even though it is from his point of view. I'm picky on what thoughts of Albus's you get to see. *evil grin*

For several chapters, Albus trusted them all completely, and I realized he shouldn't trust them that fast.

The mission did go well. Every once in a while, plans do go right. Not every plan or story has to be complicated.

Yeah, the same thing is happening with the Room of Requirement; it's become too well-known, since it was used by just about everyone in the Battle of Hogwarts and all. That's going to cause some problems for Albus.

Yeah, everything that happened to Harry are just stories to Albus. To him, it seems like a long long time ago (in a galaxy far far away... Sorry, Star Wars reference).

Albus doesn't have a lot of confident, but he does have a point. That potion is HARD.

I didn't think Chapter 19 would be up this fast! I submitted it to the queue last night right before I went to bed, and I saw the email that it was validated right after I woke up this morning. So, Happy Birthday Albus!

Yeah, I don't think anybody wants to wake up from a seemingly deep sleep and find out that you've done terrible things. Not ideal...

I don't think I'm going to write a one-shot. What I really want to do is write a novel or novella about Zajecfer's childhood, but that would be massive spoilers for the Albus Potter series. So I'd have to wait on that. *sighs*

Thank you for reviewing! You always leave AWESOME reviews. :)


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Review #43, by marauderfan Galleons, Books, Wands, and Jokes

30th December 2013:
Hi there! I'm back! (For the 12 days of reviewing, day 4.)

Loved this chapter! It was nice to see how close the family is, what a great family outing, despite James being impatient and Lily whiny :p The part with Lily and the chocolate chips was really cute. I can only imagine the mess that resulted from that. My friend spilled chocolate chips on herself once and they melted all over her clothes, so I'm just giggling at the thought of Lily putting chocolate chips in her pocket! :p

I also enjoyed the fact that Ollivander's son owns the shop now - and that he doesn't have the good memory his father had. That's a nice touch.

An elder wand? That's probably going to be very important later. Considering that Harry has probably passed down the invisibility cloak to his sons, Albus is in possession of an elder wand and an invisibility cloak- 2 of 3 hallows. Interesting... maybe a red herring but interesting all the same.

Albus's interjection into the adults "boring" conversation made me laugh too, kids are so like that! You write the young Albus, James and Lily very true to their ages.

This was a fun chapter! Great work :)

Author's Response: Ugh, I hate when chocolate melts. I didn't even think about the mess that Lily caused with melting chocolate. I just always imagined her coming home, the chocolate chips dancing around for about ten more minutes, and then the spell wearing off.

I wanted Ollivander's family to still be working the shop, since it has been open since 382 B.C. I also didn't want Ollivander's son to be his clone, so I decided to change that little tidbit. Memorizing every wand he'd ever sold? That's just a little unnatural.

I'm not saying you're wrong, it could be the elder wand, but there are other wands out there made out of elder. Not many, since it is considered unlucky, but Ollivander sells them.

Oh yeah, adult conversations are so boring. *laughs*

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #44, by Secret Santa The Restricted Section

29th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh god. Oh no.

THEY'VE LOST THE CLOAK.

AND THEY CAN'T GET THE BOOK.

NOOO!

I felt like it went too well. This is terrible! And Madam Pince will probably find the book and put it back in the Restricted Section. NOOO.

Oh god, I have no words for this. I'm too shell-shocked.

Although, I did like the little tidbit where David was missing because he was stealing fudge. I would probably be the same, haha!

They have to get James to help them nick the Cloak back! He has the map and would be able to distract Filch. And then they can get the book!

Yeah, sorry for the short review but I'm literally so shocked.

Anyway, I'm going to log back in and favourite this, because I can't wait to read more!

It was great being your Secret Santa. I loved it so much and I'm so glad I got you because otherwise I would have never read this wonderful story! :) I can't believe I missed it before!

Out of curiosity, did you ever work it out? :p

Anyway, I hope you had a good Christmas and have a Happy New Year! ♥

- Secret Santa :)

Author's Response: I am rather amused at your reaction. I don't feel depressed and shocked as you do, since I am the creator.

I had no idea you would be that shocked. But they'll think of something.

Oh yeah, I would be the same as David. Unfortunately, I do not have any house-elves under my command. I only get fudge twice a year. :(

Smart suggestion, recruiting James. They's have to get James to cooperate first...

No actually, I did not work it out. I didn't try very hard though, since I preferred to be surprised. And I most certainly was! Thank you for being the BEST SANTA EVER and reviewing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER! I never expected that. Thank you. :)


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Review #45, by Secret Santa Research Discoveries

29th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Well, it's closer to Happy New Year but I'm not stopping now! Again, sorry for the delay. I went on a holiday for three days. And I know that we have the reveal thread in the common room but I'm going to finish reviewing before I reveal myself ;)

Anyway, this was a great chapter. I really felt Albus' exhaustion, which is something a lot of authors struggle with! And even though I love Hufflepuff (I'm totally NOT biased ;)), I just want Gryffindor to beat them! I want Al to have another victory! It seems like he's going to need it, especially with Zajecfer!

And YAY they found the potion! And would you look at that? A Malfoy has something to do with it. Typical! :p

Oh god, Rose was in a bad mood this chapter, wasn't she? Was she going through 'womanly issues'? ;)

Ah, Fred and Louis are good fun, aren't they? They're exactly what you expect of them, hahaha!

Why don't they just use the Invisibility Cloak? They could sneak in then! THINK AL, THINK!

Unless that is Rose's plan - I wouldn't be surprised if it is - and if so, good on ya, Rosie, you definitely have your mother's brains, haha ;)

Anyway, this was a great chapter! Only one more and then the big reveal! :p

(The reveal will be in the thread, not in the review. I like having this mystery, ahaha)

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: I was on holiday as well, so I didn't know they had the reveal thread until a few days later! So you're good.

I know exhaustion as well. Staying up late to finish homework after really busy days and having to wake up early in the morning is not fun.

Hopefully Albus will get a victory. No guarantees!

Typical Malfoys. I actually feel rather sorry for Scorpius; he has such a terrible family history.

Rose was just feeling plain crabby from being in the library so often. What you suggested hadn't even occured to me.

I love Fred and Louis. They are different, but go together like peanut butter and jelly. Okay, bad analogy, sorry. But you get what I mean.

Ooh, looks like somebody is smart. ;)

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #46, by marauderfan The Feast

27th December 2013:
For the 12 days of reviewing, part 3!

Aw, Albus fell off the stool? Poor thing, that's got to be the most embarrassing sorting moment. At least he's not entirely following his father's footsteps, that's what he wanted right? ;)

Hey! Uncalled for, Sorting Hat - no need to be calling Hufflepuffs clumsy idiots :p (Actually, I shouldn't be talking, because I am clumsy. Perhaps the hat is right. Tonks was a Hufflepuff too and she's clumsy. I sense a pattern. Anyway, I'm getting off track here.)

Haha, I love how even Art, a Muggle-born, knows about Harry Potter. Albus can't escape the stares even from people who didn't grow up in the wizarding world!

I like how you've written Rose. In the previous chapter I saw a lot of Hermione's personality in her what with finding all sorts of information in books, and here are elements of Ron as well (when she tactlessly asks Nearly Headless Nick if he is nearly headless - much like Ron did at first, I think.) So basically I like that she isn't a Hermione-clone, you've done well writing a girl that's influenced by both of her parents.

The Weasley twins' punching telescope makes a reappearance - love it.

James cracks me up - he seems to just appear out of nowhere when Albus least expects it. (I foresee this being a problem in about five years or so if Albus eventually has a girlfriend, haha) he stole the Marauders' Map! Oh, I love that Harry edited it. I hadn't really considered that he would do that, but I suppose after half the castle fell down in the battle of Hogwarts, some things probably got put back together differently and Harry needed to note the remodel. Though if he's keeping it updated, he's kind of just asking for one of his sons to steal it ;)

Great chapter! I am really enjoying this story but right now its late and I have to go to sleep. I will be back soon to read more! :)

Author's Response: That has to be pretty embarrassing. Poor Albus.

I feel I have to criticize the sorting hat as well. I think it might be biased.

Well, Harry Potter is possibly one of the most famous wizards. Art did spend time in Diagon Alley and get books, after all.

Rose is like her mother, and unlike her in other aspects.

I think Harry updated the map just because he could. But good point, that is asking for James to steal it.

Thank you for your lovely review!


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Review #47, by marauderfan The Extraordinary Arrival

27th December 2013:
Another review for the 12 days of reviewing!

Ok, one thing I have noticed so far that is really awesome: you have the same format of opening your story as JK does (at least GoF- on.). The chapter about mysterious things elsewhere to start off, and then beginning with the second one, a focus on the main character, and you remind the reader things like that there are four houses, Albus is a wizard... I really like that. Yes they are things we all know as readers of HP fanfiction, but it's like a little nod to the books and I definitely appreciate that.

I love the details of characterisation in here, like the fact that Albus doesn't like new foods. It's very realistic for an eleven year old! James is perfect as the annoying, older brother.. "see you in a million years. Your underpants are showing." He acts a little like my cousin was at that age :p so, I found him realistic as well!

Props to you for putting in a Sorting Hat song. It's easy to just brush over it and not include one, but I'm always impressed when people are willing to try their hand at poetry and add a song. Nice job :)

Ooh, you cut that off in a very sneaky place! Without any further ado, I'm going to find out what house Albus is in...

Author's Response: When I started writing, I wanted to do it in a similar format as JKR. I love how J.K. Rowling adds little prolouges in the beginning. I love it so much.

Actually, the reason I included some background was so my mom could read it, since she hasn't read Harry Potter! I didn't let her know I was writing it until many months later though.

I gave Albus a little bit of characteristics of myself, like the fact that I don't like trying new foods either. There is that saying, "Write what you know" so I did!

Thank you for reviewing!


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Review #48, by marauderfan The Rising Wizard

27th December 2013:
Hello! I'm here for the 12 Days of Reviewing, in which we're supposed to review a story with a feast in it... looks like there's a feast in the 3rd chapter, so I'll be reading at least until then tonight! (maybe more, but it's after midnight already and my reviews stop making sense when it's too late at night so apologies in advance :P ) Ok, now to the review.

This is a very chilling opening chapter, especially as they start out with a mass killing curse and then joke about it! That's never good :-( I like the anonymity of the two men though, and even though they go unnamed (for most of it anyway) I can still get a really clear picture of their personalities. The younger one sounds like he'll be stirring up a lot more trouble without really knowing what he's doing - all he's doing is copying Voldemort with less effective results. (I mean... Lord Zajecfer? I don't even know how to say that, lol. Actually I spent longer than I care to admit trying to unscramble that and figure out what his last name was.) He seems like an impulsive type who will do anything careless to try and make himself more important, while the older one is more concerned with strategy. Anyway, I am eager to learn more about them.

This is a well written chapter and really intriguing, I'm off to read the next one now!

Author's Response: Don't worry about being sleep-deprived, I've had quite a bit of experience with that!

Yep, Chapter 3 has a feast in it.

Zajecfer is sort of trying to be a copy of Voldemort, but he still is dangerous. I wouldn't want him turning up on my doorstep.

Another reviewer also just recently wanted to know how to pronounce Zajecfer. It is Zah-jeh-c-fur. Maybe I'll try to include that pronounciation somewhere in the story.

What did you come up with when you unscrambled the name? It isn't one recognizable.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I greatly appreciate it!


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Review #49, by Secret Santa Light and Dark

26th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! (Shh, let's pretend it's still Christmas)

I hope you had a great Christmas, though! Ate lots of food? ;)

Anyway, this was a brilliant chapter! I love Quidditch chapters so much! I enjoy them in every single fanfiction/novel and you write it so well! I was on the edge of my metaphorical seat - as I'm currently sitting on top of my bed :p - and I was just PRAYING that they'd win! I'm so glad they did!

AND STOP ENDING THE CHAPTERS ON A SAD NOTE! THAT'S NO FUN! D':

Anyway, this was another amazing chapter! I'll be reading on! :D

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: It's still Christmas, right? 12 days of Christmas, remember? ;) I did have a good Christmas though, and the food was good. We ate at an Indian Restaurant, because most other places were closed.

I love Quidditch too; it's the only sport I actually like. You can't beat flying on broomsticks.

I'm glad you're pleased that Gryffindor had a victory! The lions pulled through!

I'm glad you loved the chapter!


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Review #50, by Secret Santa Streamers and Newspapers

24th December 2013:
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope you have a great day!

Ugh, I know I told you I'd review all the other chapters but something came up (in the form of Christmas cookies and truffles) so I couldn't do them. I can't promise I'll finish these reviews today but I will finish them eventually! I'm so sorry! D:

Anyway, this was a wonderful chapter! I loved how Al spent his birthday and all his family planned the gifts. It was very sweet. :) And I'm guessing it's no coincidence that Al's best subject is Potions and Zajecfer has a mysterious potion? ;)

Also, out of curiosity, how do you pronounce Zajecfer? I pronounce it 'za - jess - far' but I was curious as to how you pronounced it?

Aw, Art is so humble! He kind of reminds me of a mini-Neville! Speaking of, I thought it was so sweet that Neville had the plant sing happy birthday and then again for Art! I really enjoyed that, haha!

But the poor kids, they still haven't found anything on Zajecfer! I just want to tell them that they probably won't find anything because he's so new! But I'm so super curious as to who he actually is!

And to be a bit off topic, the image of David having streamers out of his nostrils made me laugh so hard! You've really got a knack for humour! :p

Anywho, this was a great chapter and I can't wait to read more! Have a good Christmas and hope Santa gets you everything you asked for! :D

- Secret Santa ;)

Author's Response: It's okay, Chistmas cookies and truffles are a wonderful excuse! Totally acceptable, sweets. I actually made Christmas cookies last week, so I understand very well on all the time it takes.

Good Point, it's not much of a coincidence that Zajecfer has a potion and Albus is good at potions. *grins*

Another reviewer just asked the same question- how to pronounce Zajecfer. I should incorporate that into the story someway. I pronounce it Zah-jeh-c-fur. Good question!

Albus is so humble. I suppose I am too, since I was blushing throughout most of your reviews. :) I'm rather like Art when I get praise. But he is a little like Neville, I never really noticed that before.

If they searched Zajecfer by his original name, they would find him, but the kids don't know Zajecfer's original name.

Thanks! Most of the humorous things throughoutthe story I made up as I wrote, but I'm glad you like it!

Hope your Santa got everything you wanted too! *grins* This Santa certainly did!


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