101 Reviews Found

Review #26, by HeyMrsPotter The Rising Wizard

29th December 2014:
Hi, Claudia! I'm really behind on the review hot seat, but I'm trying to catch up. Sorry it's late!

I think this is a really interesting opening chapter! I really love the idea of a next-gen Dark Lord type figure. When is life ever east for Harry after all? I'm currently wracking my brains to try and figure out who your bad guys are! The opening chapters where we are intorduced to them was really to the point, I liked that. Here are the bad guys and they're so evil they'll kill 10 muggle children at once just because they're there. Brutal!

I really love your balance here of giving away enough information so that readers know when your story takes place, and who it is going to involve, but there's enough there to leave me wanting more. I'm really intrigued about how your bad guys are going to rise to power, and how they'll get to James and Albus. I liked the warning that was given to Zac about not underestimating the boys though, I agree that was one of Voldy's downfalls.

All in all, a really good opening chapter to your story!


Author's Response: No worries, Dee! Did you really think I'd get worried over a late review? I'm just glad I have a review!

Yeah, the two guys are kind of evil, aren't they? You'd think they were the antagonists or something. (You get sarcasm, right? It's always really awkward when someone doesn't.)

Yes, Zac shouldn't underestimate the boys. They have Potter blood running through their veins, meaning they are incredibly lucky. Even James (the older one) "defied" Voldemort three times before he was killed. Most people don't get to survive one encounter.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #27, by Story Claus Professor Dire

26th December 2014:
Ho, ho, ho! Don't you just love Christmas? It means I get time to read lovely stories like this one!

Art is very cute in this story. I liked the way that you showed his innocence and his lack of knowledge about the magical world, because for a Muggle-born, everything would be amazing like this. I'm just going to expect him to keep gasping at everything. He reminds me of the children who still believe in me and get to benefit from my magic - like you, my dear writer!

Harry's letter to Albus was very funny, and I could imagine him writing it. I liked the way that he decided that James would get to keep the Marauder's Map and had never been fooled for a minute about who had it. I think it's a good thing that he has a strong Disillusionment Charm now, as I feel like Albus is going to need the help and protection the cloak can offer if there's someone trying to kill him!

There's also something a bit symbolic about Harry handing the Invisibility Cloak over to his son, like in the Tale of the Three Brothers.

I feel sorry for the four of them, getting lost so early on in the day before lessons have even started. But Hogwarts is a massive castle and I've always thought it's a bit unfair to make the kids find their way round on the first day.

Peeves was brilliant in this. Glad to see he hasn't changed a bit since the books and is still intent on causing as much mischief as possible. Squirting the first years with black ink is probably his idea of a warm welcome to the school!

I'm glad that their first class was with Neville. I feel like he's probably one of the more understanding teachers.

The first day of lessons was quite tiring for Albus! And I think that there might be some important information in this chapter about the mystery too. I wonder if Rose's note-taking (that part is very like Hermione) will somehow help them in the future.

Professor Dire is... well, dire. As his name suggests. I don't think he's the bad guy, though, more like a Snape sort of figure. But I'm definitely intrigued about what will happen next!

Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa!

Author's Response: Yes, I love Christmas! Thank you for all the Christmas presents you gave me this year, Santa!

There is something symbolic about handing over the cloak- from son to son. It probably passed onto a daughter, or skipped a generation at one point, since their last name is no longer Peverell- but for the most part it passed from son to son.

Poltergeists never change.

Neville is a very understanding teacher, since Neville has probably been late to multiple classes in his time.

Professor Dire is different than Snape. He isn't nearly as biased as Snape is, and treats Slytherin house with the same attitude as he does other houses.

Merry Christmas Santa!

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Review #28, by Sleigh Racer (but don't tell Mother Claus!) Galleons, Books, Wands, and Jokes

26th December 2014:
Ho, ho, ho! It seems that the reindeer can scent carrots or something equally delicious in your story because they're determined for me to return to reading at the moment! And I hope you had a fantastic Christmas Day!

I really liked the sense of wonder that Albus still had when he was visiting Diagon Alley and all the different shops there. He's probably been quite a lot before - definitely more than Harry had at this age - but it's still exciting for him. It made me laugh that he tried to act as if he was comfortable in Gringotts, and probably failed miserably at that.

The family interactions were really nice, and I thought it was a good way to give us an idea of what the Potters are like as a family, with the way that they tease each other, especially James. And I can definitely imagine James as the oldest child trying to act as if he's too cool for all of this.

Albus going to get his wand was very interesting. There was something reminiscent of Harry's first appearance in Ollivander's shop about it, but at the same time it wasn't exactly the same. There were differences, like the fact that Ollivander's son ran the shop now, and he wasn't a clone of his father either.

I'm glad that you showed Albus doesn't know everything about the war. He's aware of what happened to some extent, and why his father is famous, but he doesn't know what happened to Ollivander during it.

*laughs at Albus blasting a whole in the floor* It seems even more disastrous that Harry's first attempts. But an elder wand is certainly interesting!

The visit to the joke shop was cute. I loved Albus's excitement and his boredom with the adults' conversation. Things like that remind us of his age. And James definitely seems like he's the sort to get into mischief.

Albus's owl sounds really cute. And I really liked the way that he chose the name for it. I wonder if naming owls after historical figures is going to become a trend in the Potter family.

Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa!

Author's Response: Yay! Santa's back!

The Potters go to Diagon Alley, but not too often. They don't usually have much of a reason. So Albus still feels that wonder.

Albus knows much about the war- but not everything. Ollivander probably never came up in conversation when Harry discussed the war- Ollivander's ordeal was probably overshadowed by other events.

An elder wand is interesting. It's the rarest wand wood.

Albus is a typical kid, who finds adult conversation boring. When I was his age by older brother started listening to adult conversation more and more and I couldn't understand what he found so interesting!

Thank you for the review!

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Review #29, by smsubramaniyan Birthday Discussions

24th December 2014:
I thought Albus is good at potions.. He would easily come up with the potion name..

Author's Response: Albus is good at Potions- but that doesn't mean he spends all his time reading about different types of potions, he just has a lot of natural ability. Besides, this potion isn't very common.

Thank you for the review!

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Review #30, by banshee The Rising Wizard

22nd December 2014:
Hi! I am... really.. late for your Hot Seat day, but I am finally on vacation and here to read!

I really liked your introduction paragraph. I thought it instantly created this beautiful visual of a summer outside, just to have it immediately destroyed by the visual (invisible visual? heh) of the men in the cloaks showing up.

THE CHILDREN! And the bunny! Not the bunny! lol. This is so instantly attention grabbing!

These men so far, I really am morbidly enjoying their characterization. I find it interesting that they call Voldemort (I'm assuming) 'Tom' ,and that they both seem to have that twisted viewpoint that killing Muggles is fun, and Muggles are unnecessary.

I love your style of writing for this, as if someone is telling this as a story.

The idea that Zac (which I will now exclusively call him, hah!) already has the mind set that he is SO much better than Voldemort is so entertaining, especially considering the older man calls him out for copying Voldemort on a lot of things.

This was such a captivating beginning! I was really pleasantly surprised when I got to the bottom and read that this was your first novel! It has this certain promise to it that it's going to be really good! I am worried for James and Albus for sure! Maybe Zac will be like Voldemort again and at least wait until Albus is done with his school year to attack ;)

Wonderful first chapter!


Author's Response: Do you think I would really complain about you being late for the Hot Seat Day? I'm just pleased I have another review!

It's surprising the number of people grieving for the bunny. Yes, I had to kill the bunny. You should be lucky it's not a more important character.

Zac feels a bit let down about Voldemort. As he accurately explains, Voldemort had so much potential, and then got beaten by a seventeen year old boy. In Zac's mind, that's pretty pathetic. He wants to be Voldemort done right.

Voldemort was very supporting of Harry's education by waiting until the end of the year to attack. *grins* I have a feeling Zac will be supportive of Albus's education as well.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #31, by smsubramaniyan Hufflepuff VS Gryffindor

22nd December 2014:
When will we see Albus in quidditch? I'm waiting for that. I hope he is not like Ron, who gets nervous.
I'm hurt that Gryfinndor lose in the first match itself. If this will give reason to make Albus play, I'm happy.

Author's Response: We'll see Albus play Quidditch later this year. There is a reason they needed a reserve.

It is disappointing that Gryffindor lost their first match, but Hufflepuff has an excellent team. Besides, the Gryffindor team isn't perfect.

Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #32, by Diogenissa The Rising Wizard

21st December 2014:
Hallo! Happy Hufflepuff Hotseat Day! (Sorry it is a bit late though!)

On with the show!

'Anyone would be terrified if they saw them' -- um well yes I AM to be honest! *shivers*

OoOOO Am LOVING the absolute impassiveness and sociopathic relationship between these two horrible men and just how casually they are doing what they are doing and talking as if they're having an everyday conversation! *considers running away--FAR away!*

I am totally in love with the mentor / protege relationship! You did a really fine job not only in laying down the groundwork, but also establishing it as a solid part of the story. These are really great antagonists here!

The mentor seems to take great pleasure in his protege's teenage-like defiance and how he almost effortlessly brushes it to the side and how he constantly eggs him to have a little tantrum is amusing and further sets the relationship. All I kept thinking about with Zac was like 'geez he's such a brat! Whine whine whine! lol' As I am reading this I am thinking 'that kid will NEVER be like Voldemort if he keeps that up!"

Then the mention of when they talk about muggles overall--it is a nice throwback to the Death Eaters' ideology and I enjoyed that as if it was a pleasant memory and it was as if this in part was the older man's way of bringing it back to life to -some- degree. (yeah I like Death Eaters what can I say? :P ).

Overall just tremendous and a fantastic lead-in to the rest of the story. I'm not much interested in Next Gen stuff but I'll be sure to pick this back up. Thank you so much for an awesome story! :-)

Karen xoxo

Author's Response: I'm kind of scared of the two men myself. Which is funny, seeming how I have control over the two of them!

Zac is an interesting character. He can be all excited about Voldemort one moment, and then be impassive in this next. Don't underestimate him. He delighted in not needing to hide his feelings and things when he was with the older man- but he can be clever and emotionless when needed.

Yes, they are both feeling nostalgic about the death eaters. To them, when Voldemort was in power that was the good times.

Thank you so much reviewing!

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Review #33, by My Beard is Better than Dumbledore's! The Feast

21st December 2014:
Ho, ho, ho! I managed to get Rudolph to lead the way back to your story sooner that I had anticipated!

Well, I know that as Santa I shouldn't be laughing at a boy like Albus - who's always been on my 'nice' list - falling off the stool during his sorting, but I really couldn't help it. I think that was the first time I've seen that happen in a story before and you did a good job of injecting some humour into the scene when Albus was so anxious about the house he would be sorted into.

*laughs* I liked how in awe James was that Albus had fallen off the stool, because it had set a new record at Hogwarts. It was nicer than him teasing him again.

But I'm glad that Albus got sorted into Gryffindor in the end, because that's where he'd always wanted to be and I was a bit afraid he would hate his time at Hogwarts if he was in Slytherin! The comment about Scorpius Malfoy in the last chapter made me wonder if Albus would end up in the same house, though. Now I wonder if they'll be friends or enemies like their fathers.

Rose gets to join Albus in Gryffindor, yay! It was so nice to see the two cousins staying together now and I liked getting to see her character more. There's a part of her that's very like Hermione, and another part that's very like Ron.

Since Christmas is a time of friendship and cheer, I was especially pleased to see young Albus making some new friends at the Gryffindor table, and to see the real mix of people that he's going to be spending the next few years of his life with. At this point, I'm sure that they'll do well together. I definitely recognise those names from my 'nice' list.

The whole of the feast was well written. It felt very Hogwarts-y! So magical and warm and happy. I also liked the appearance of Nearly Headless Nick and how much he scared the Muggle-borns at the table, because strangely, while these Muggles are happy to believe in good magic, they do tend to be rather anxious at the sight of something like a ghost!

Those Weasley twins definitely started something when they invented that punching telescope - it's been on Christmas lists ever since!

*laughs again* It's certainly rather fitting that Filch's list of banned products would be so long by now, with all the things that are on offer at the Weasleys' joke shop!

Albus's wonder at seeing pictures that don't move if he's never seen them before is very believable. Kind of like how we'd react if we actually saw moving pictures.

James seemed to appear out of nowhere at the end, and he's already up to mischief, it seems! I like the idea of Harry having edited the map to update it to how Hogwarts is now, too.

Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa!

Author's Response: First of all- your beard is definitely better than Dumbledore's beard. His is long and thin, but yours is very thick.

I'm glad Albus has always been on your nice list. What about James?

I'm always intrigued about how next gen stories write Scorpius and Albus. A lot of them have them as best friends, and some have them as mortal enemies. It's always interesting. As for their relationship in my books- well, I suppose you'll have to wait and find out!

I originally wrote Rose with plans to have her be like Hermione with a few differences- and as I wrote her, I realized more and more how she was like Ron. These characters have ideas of their own!

As a muggle-born myself I would be terrified if I saw a ghost, so I'm very understanding at the horror they present to those from non-wizarding families. Art had an appropriate reaction!

I think it's interesting to see a character, grown up in the ordinary wizarding world, be wondrous towards the unfamiliar muggle world. It's like the opposite that Harry was like. We all want to live in a different world- not because our world is bad, but because we want something exciting and different.

Yeah, James did sort of appear out of nowhere, didn't he? I think he was bored. That happens to James a lot.

Thank you for the review, Santa!

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Review #34, by The Man in the Red Suit The Extraordinary Arrival

21st December 2014:
Ho, ho, ho! Santa is here again, dropping off another present from his sleigh!

Well, you definitely deserve some rewards for how good you've been all year and for writing this story and sharing it with us all. So hopefully you like these!

This chapter was so different in tone to the first chapter and I think that made it work even better, because there's the mystery in our minds from the two dark wizards but this was more of an ordinary scene with Albus starting at Hogwarts and the chapter picking up from where the books left off. I thought the difference was great, and there was something very like the books in it! I know that J.K. Rowling often opens on a more mysterious chapter before returning to the 'normal' world so that was great!

I felt sorry for Albus here and how worried he was about being sorted into Slytherin. It makes sense that his dad's words didn't stop him worrying, even though they helped a bit. And I thought you characterised Albus well, the fact that he's a bit troublesome at times and is clever, but also something like not liking new foods which reminds us how old he is.

Haha, James was a great character! I don't think he means to be mean necessarily, he's just a typical older brother, teasing his younger sibling. It reminded me of what the Weasley twins told Ron about the sorting when he talked about the Sorting Hat not being used any more.

Rose was very sweet, and I could see her bookishness that she's inherited from Hermione, already knowing about the different houses. I liked the friendship between the cousins.

You did a brilliant job with the Sorting Hat song! I don't think I'd ever be able to attempt one, but this one made sense and rhymed as well!

The tension towards the end was built up well. I wonder if Scorpius is so bad as Albus thinks since the Sorting Hat took some time to decide on his house, and he probably isn't as mean as he thought.

Oh, that cliffhanger at the end was mean! I'm very curious to know which house Albus will be sorted into, and I'll pop by in my sleigh (if I can get the reindeer to do what I tell them - they really are impossible sometimes, you know!) very soon to continue!

Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa!

Author's Response: Santa! You're back! I hope Christmas went by successfully this year. I presume it did.

Yeah, I remembered the Weasley twins's teasing about the sorting as well when I was writing James's scene.

Scorpius is better than his father, as the sorting hat at least had to think before putting Scorpius in Slytherin- but that doesn't mean much. Harry was a wonderful Gryffindor, and the sorting hat had to think before placing him there.

What do you mean you don't like cliffhangers? ;)

Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #35, by Santa Claus! The Rising Wizard

21st December 2014:
Ho, ho, ho! Santa is here to deliver the first of your presents!

Oh, what an intriguing start to the story! This first chapter had a real Harry Potter feeling to it, like Rowling's writing. Everything started off so picturesque and idyllic and then things got gradually scarier and more mysterious. I'm very curious!

Well, you certainly made an impact with the mass killing curse. I don't know how that got invented but it's scary to think of! Those poor children and their parents. That created a lot of tension though, with the men walking through the Muggle suburb and suddenly attacking Muggles just because of who they were. Since this is a next generation story too I'm worried about what this new Dark Lord is going to do.

Hmm, it's interesting that the two men don't have names, especially the older man. Apparently he knew Voldemort when Voldemort was still Tom Riddle, and the comments through the chapter made it seem like he'd been advising him to become the Dark Lord that he was. And now he's coaching this boy to become the next Dark Lord...

I'm REALLY curious to know who the boy, Zac, is, and if he's still at Hogwarts, which is what it sounded like when I read this chapter. That's going to make this year a lot more dangerous and exciting to read about!

And wow, what a dramatic ending! It had a great impact because it's left me wanting to know a lot more about what's going to happen, and we haven't even met Albus yet, who I'm assuming is going to be the main character since he's in the title of the novel.

This was a great first chapter, I look forward to reading on!

Merry Christmas from your Secret Santa!

Author's Response: SANTA! Hello! Am I on your nice list?

Yes, the mass-killing curse is interesting, isn't it? Wonderful stuff.

Zac could be a Hogwarts student in his seventh year or something, or he could have graduated, or he might have not attended Hogwarts at all.

Yes, Albus is the main character- he makes an appearance next chapter.

Thank you for the review, Santa! Can I ride on your sleigh sometime? ;)

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Review #36, by writeyourheartout The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
HAPPY (slightly belated) HOT SEAT DAY, FELLOW PUFF!!! ^.^

I love the way this begins, with such a strong setting of normalcy. It's actually a bit reminiscent of the first HP book! Did you do that on purpose? Either way, I thought it was a very clever way to begin the story!

And then, of course, we're introduced to the real scene beneath this mask of oh-so-ordinary, with these two seemingly invisible men dressed in all black and clearly up to something... I love the way you build them up, slowly, secretly, unveiling only small bits of information about their appearance and demeanor, but holding off on the reason they're doing whatever it is that they're doing! It really creates an excellent sense of suspense and tension and build up.

OMG. Wow. I was not expecting the easy, simple, spur-of-the-moment murder of an entire group of children! WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY ARE THEY SO EVIL?! O_O

Oh man. This exchange here: After a long pause, the elder man broke the silence by saying, "That was quite unnecessary." - The younger man replied, "True. But I wanted to try out the new mass- killing curse." - Gah! So casual in their cruelness! And I was wondering what spell could take ten people out at once, and wow... A new mass-killing curse? Sheesh. You've really created some seriously intense bad guys, which is brilliant for a story like this. AND THEN THE BUNNY. And the reference to Tom? And actually calling him Tom? I assume they're referring to Voldemort... And this totally nonchalant conversation about not understanding why more people don't just murder people to let off a bit of steam? Crazy. They're crazy.

I have to admit, I very badly want to know who exactly these two people are. What was the older man's connection to Voldemort back when he was still just Tom? Is Zac a canon character from the books - possibly even Zacharias Smith? Someone you thought was at least mostly decent, but was actually evil? He was a Puff! Omg, if it's him, that would be crazy. haha

The way they idolize Tom and aim to both follow his lead and then become greater than he was is just bananas. They're so twisted. And just like Voldie, they're making plans to kill a Potter child at just eleven! I hope Albus does prove to be as invincible as Harry sometimes seemed to be. This line especially makes me worry for him, though: "Tom's big mistake was that he was constantly underestimating Harry Potter." - Eep! Not to mention, Albus doesn't have a mother's love/sacrifice to protect him, or - presumably - a shared connection that helped protect Harry from Voldemort, which makes him seem like a much easier target. I'm not a huge Next Gen fan, but I really do have a sweet spot for Albus, and I sincerely hope he survives whatever these two have planned for him!

Anyway, this was a really good first chapter. You've done a brilliant job at creating a new threat to the Next Generation with these two, and I'm already strongly rooting for Albus! Needless to say, I am certainly intrigued! Very well done! :)


Author's Response: No, I didn't do the "normalacy" scene because of the first HP book... But now that you point it out, I can definitely see some allusions! It was my subconscious mind. ;)

Writing suspense if fun. *evil grin*

So first question: Who are they? Alas, the first question you ask I cannot answer, unless you'd prefer a lie. (THAT little quote was on purpose. And I apologize if the wording is slightly off; I did it from memory.) Now onto the next question of why they are evil. I'd have to give you a full biography of each of them for you to understand that. I actually do have a full biography of them in my head, incidently. But that won't be shared for a long, long time.

Yes, the bunny died. I didn't care at all when I wrote that death. Does that make me a monster?

Yay! Crazy people! *claps hands* Okay, they might have gotten inspiration from me...

How dare you accuse a puff of being a dark wizard! *gasp* Hufflepuff doesn't have dark wizards! It's okay, you have good reason for being suspicious of Smith...

Zac is the crazy idolizer of Tom. The older fellow is more of a mentor-like person.

Hooray for team Albus! I'm rooting for Albus as well; I hope he doesn't die! Well, since I'm writing the story, I guess I decide what happens. Yeah, Albus doesn't have any superpowers- but we didn't know Harry had any during his first year, did we?

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #37, by smsubramaniyan Rose Gets Detention

20th December 2014:
Story is getting interested in every chapter. Try to finish the series. You are good with this.

Author's Response: I hope I finish the series. I'm planning too- even though it moght take like ten years at my rate. I'm writing the second book right now.

Thanks for the compliment. *blushes* And thanks again for reviewing!

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Review #38, by smsubramaniyan The Mysterious Man

20th December 2014:
Good chapter. But, if Albus doesn't tell to Harry, then Rose can tell to Ron, right?

Author's Response: Filch is watching all the mail- not just Albus's. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Albus is best friends with Rose, Art, and David. So no, Rose probably can't get a message to Ron. :(

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #39, by smsubramaniyan Flying

20th December 2014:
Rose and David - like Ron and Hermoine?

Author's Response: Rose and David are similar in the way they bicker compared to Hermione and Ron, but there are many differences between them. David has a greater emotional range than a teaspoon.

I won't say whether they end up together- I think I know whether they do, but I could change my mind eventually.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #40, by smsubramaniyan Professor Dire

20th December 2014:
Is it ok,if albus shows his invisibility cloak to all in the main hall?

Author's Response: He probably shouldn't show it to everyone in the Great Hall, but he didn't realize he'd be getting the cloak. There weren't many people paying attention anyway, except for the people at his table.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #41, by smsubramaniyan Galleons, Books, Wands, and Jokes

20th December 2014:
Nice chapter. I think the wand will have good part in this story.

Author's Response: Albus's wand is interesting, isn't it? An elder wand... Which is the rarest type if wand wood.

Thank you for reviewing! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. :)

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Review #42, by magnolia_magic The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
Hi! Happy Hot Seat day! I'm so excited to be able to review this, since I've never read it before. I really enjoyed this first chapter!

I love that you chose to tell the story as though the HP books didn't exist, so that everything feels fresh and new. Your descriptions of the wands as "sticks," and the way you talk about Parseltongue without actually using the word...it all gave me that feeling of reading the books for the first time, and discovering the magic. It was a really enjoyable experience :)

Your characters are really interesting, too. I love the idea of Voldemort having a mentor in the shadows. It's actually a pretty scary thought, and it does open the door for future Voldemort-like people to come onto the scene. Like Zac. I can feel his eagerness to prove himself, and I hate that this old dude is basically training him to kill people and cause terror. The scene where he used the mass killing curse (a game-changer, definitely) on that group of sweet kids was so sad. I actually gasped at my computer, it was so unexpected! You did a great job of pulling me in with this chapter.

I'm hooked! You did an excellent job with this opening, and I really enjoyed reading it. I hope you have fun with the Hot Seat today, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it :)


Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the lack of magical knowledge! That was done on purpose, so I'm glad you liked it!

When I was coming up with Zajecfer, I realized I needed a reason for there two be two dark lords in such a short time period away from each other. I figured a shared mentor is a plausible explanation.

Zajecfer was no innocent guy before Slytherin started helping him out. Zajecfer had already committed some crimes.

You gasped at the computer? *Puffs chest out proudly* I suppose I shouldn't be happy at deaths, but... *squeals happily*

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #43, by likeness_of_a_seabird The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review!

Ooh, that was an interesting first chapter! Iíve got so many questions I donít know where to start!

First of all, I really liked how you started by describing the Muggle family, their ordinary evening and how the children were playing in the yard. Then you switched to the two men and how out of place they looked in that neighbourhood (or would have looked if they had been visible to the Muggles). That was a very effective way to begin a story.

Then one of the men kills the children just to try out a mass-killing curse (!) and the men discuss Tom (Riddle, right?) and how the Ministry has no idea trouble is about to come. The older man clearly knew Voldemort, might have been even close to his inner circle. My first question is who is this man? He speaks so familiarly about Voldemort, even uses his real name, something a lot of people never did. Iíve been trying to think who he might be but so far Iíve got no clue about his identity. The second question concerns the younger man. Who is he? He obviously admired Voldemort, to the point of copying everything he did. What was his real name and who is his brother? So many questions, so few answersÖ for now at least!

And then the twist at the end! The two men are planning on killing James and Albus, thinking it canít be too difficult since they are only first and second yearsÖ They obviously donít know that Potters are notoriously difficult to kill even when theyíre babies. ;) The older man is quite right to tell Zac not to underestimate them.

This was such an interesting beginning! Iím looking forward to reading more!

- Emmi

Author's Response: I would agree with you that the men are probably talking about Tom Riddle. As regards to the old man... I came up with the plot because I wondered, "Where did Voldemort get all his education from, other than books and things? And exactly what was he up to in those years between resigning at Borgin and Burkes and getting and applying for a job with Dumbledore?

Yes, the older man is right to tell Zac to be careful and things. Unfortunately, Zac is a bit hot-headed, and eager to prove himself to the world.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #44, by marauderfan The Mysterious Man

19th December 2014:
David's humour is so great, hahaha Professor Dire defeating an opposing Seeker just by glaring at him :P I'm glad Albus made the reserve team though! I think it's realistic that he wouldn't have made an actual position on the team, being only eleven and competing against kids who were a few years older. Still, it says a lot for him that he made it as reserve! Good for him :)

Ooh, I remember Lord Zajecfer from the beginning - sounds like he's up to nothing good. He's got some power now and isn't afraid to jump right in there with his plan of whatever he's doing, and it worries me that he wants to do whatever he's doing at Hogwarts. Scary! Btw, I tried to unscramble his name again and came up with nothing. :p

Rose is a smart one! Albus should listen to her. After all, it's not like this time they have Dumbledore on their side watching over to make sure they're safe as they poke their noses into things - they would be smart to involve adults. Yes, they've got no proof, but I think someone might listen given how scary the idea is!

Great chapter! I love the way you're building up this story!

Author's Response: Professor Dire's glare is pretty powerful. *grins*

Albus is a good Quidditch player, but not as good as Harry, so that is why he is a reserve.

Good for you for trying to unscramble Zajecfer's name! Keep in mind, it might not have a wizarding name, or even a name you've heard of. It could, but not necessarily. It might not even not be meant to be unscrambled... keep in mind that word "might".

Rose is smart! Unfortunately, Albus is one of those Gryffindors who lacks a brain for the most part, so he might not listen to Rose. *sigh*

Thanks for the review!

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Review #45, by marauderfan Flying

19th December 2014:
Aw! I love that they're having tea with Hagrid :D

Wow, Fang is a super ancient dog at this point.

I love the friendship you've established between the four so far - they get on really well, and seem like a good mix of traits to balance each other out as well.

Al's desire to be good at Quidditch is really understandable given the pressures from his parents' successes in it. Likewise I really understand his desire to not be the same as them, to be his own person and not just famous for his father's fame. I think that's a very natural reeling the Potter kids would have.

Oh my goodness, how dare you leave the end of the chapter there ;) Did he get on? Aah! :p

Author's Response: Wizards live longer than normal people... so I'll just say that wizarding dogs live longer than normal dogs as well.

Yes, I like the friendship between Albus and his three friends as well. They work well together.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to grow up with a famous family. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that.

Chapter cliffhangers aren't bad, since there's always the next one... *nudge nudge*

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #46, by marauderfan Professor Dire

19th December 2014:
Happy Hot Seat Day!!

It's really exciting to come back to this story as I read some of it ages ago and loved it!

Haha! I loved Harry's letter, the "I sooo know you stole my map, but it's okay" :p And yay for getting the Invisibility Cloak! I guess Harry is perfectly aware that his kids are going to break all sorts of rules, so this will make it at least so they don't get in trouble as much for it :P

Poor Art, he really is having the toughest time adjusting! All the weird plants and the ghosts and Peeves (whom I was super excited to see in here haha).. it's cool because you're reminding the reader of all the magic in the wizarding world, kind of like how Harry first saw everything in the first book.

What a twist on things. A cheerful Potions Teacher, I can't even imagine what the class would be like. It just seems like such an alien idea. XD And a cold, calculating Tranfig professor, he's going to be one to watch out for. I wonder if the students will learn to just raise their hands when they don't know the answer, to avoid being called on? Kind of like reverse psychology.

Ooh, is Rose interested in Divination? I bet her mum would be thrilled. :p

Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Wait, I'm on the hot seat today??? *Checks common room* I almost forgot about that!

Harry, being a known rule-breaker himself, can't really go to his kids and say "Don't break the rules."

Art isn't having a terrible time adjusting, just as much as most muggle-borns. Hermione didn't seem to have much of a problem, but she read a ton of books before school started and became like an expert on the wizarding world...

Slughorn was pretty cheerful! A cheerful Potions teacher isn't that out of the question. But Snape... *shudders*

I modeled Professor Dire off of a teacher I had when I was eleven. Reverse psychology wouldn't necessarily work... here's why: On the first few days of school, Dire takes notice of the students who seem a bit shy and not incredibly smart in his subject. He makes note of the students who seem to be doing the worse. He picks a few students out from the class, and calls on them CONSTANTLY. Once you're picked, you are doomed. You're called on like at least every other question. When tests come around, the lists of the "picked on" students might change a little bit, but for the most part they stay the same. The students who do poorly are called on to answer questions, while the students on the smarter side of the spectrum are rarely called on, since they most likely already know the answer. The teacher, in this case Professor Dire, thinks they are trying to help out the student by pushing to them to try harder, but they're actually just intimidating them and making them do worse. So later on, raising your hand won't make any difference. Luckily I did okay on my tests and things, but I pitied the two kids in my class who were subjected to the "death stare" multiple times every day.

Rose is different than her mom in a few ways... her subject interests are the most obvious difference.

Thank you thank you thank you for reviewing!!

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Review #47, by MargaretLane Tears and Laughter

21st August 2014:
Yay, the final chapter is up. Not that I want this to be over, but I do want some answers.

*laughs at Harry's comment that he's been unconscious often enough to know how people feel afterwards* That probably wasn't meant to be amusing, but it kind of is because it's so true.

Looks like Harry's going to do the Dumbledore thing here and explain what needs to be explained.

There should be a small "h" on "his dad said bashfully," as it's part of the same sentence as the dialogue.

And love the way Harry is still somewhat intimidated by Madame Pomfrey nearly 20 years after leaving school. She is rather formidable.

There shouldn't be an apostrophe before the "s" in "Slytherins", as it's a plural, not a possessive.

I like the fact Harry says he may not know all the answers. That makes sense. It's sort of unlikely he WOULD know everything, as obviously he didn't know of Slytherin's continued existence until now.

So Harry essentially killed Zajecfer or would have only for the Horcruxes. I hadn't expected THAT. I'd assumed it would be like many of the battles in the books when the villain escapes, but this DOES make sense. It's actually strange people don't use more serious spells often in the books. I mean, I wouldn't expect the good guys to use the Killing Curse or anything, but I'd expect the Death Eaters to use it pretty much constantly and I'd expect the Aurors and Order of the Phoenix to use more body binding curses and ones like that.

And it makes sense Harry'd let him tell Rose, Art and David, since they already KNOW a fair amount and would probably be more worried and curious if they DIDN'T get the full story.

I REALLY like the way you show the emotional effects events have on the characters. It makes sense Flitwick would feel very guilty that, far from protecting the students, he actually helped endanger them, albeit against his will. He's bound to feel he SHOULD have been able to throw off the Imperius Curse, especially since he was a duelling champion, wasn't he? So he'd probably feel like he was a failure in that way as well as worrying he could have helped harm a student. Poor Flitwick.

And I love Harry's explanation that he's no Dumbledore. It makes sense Flitwick wouldn't have Dumbledore's abilities, since nobody does. And it makes him more of an individual character rather than just "the Headmaster".

He could be well over a thousand years old, really, as the Sorting Hat said he was created "about a thousand years ago" about 23 years before this and presumably Slytherin was pretty old at that point, as they were wondering how to sort the students after they died, so say he was sixty. Now of course when the hat said "about a thousand," it could have been 900 or even less, but it could equally have been 1,050, in which case Slytherin would be over 1,100. But yeah, either way, he's ANCIENT.

This is more just a personal opinion than anything else, but I think "magically weak" might sound better than "magic weak".

I also really like the fact Albus doesn't get over what happened when Harry points out it was an accident and that murder is intentionally killing somebody, because it's not that easy to just get over something like that.

And I love the fact Harry lets Albus get up without telling Poppy.

I think Harry is blaming himself unfairly too. They didn't die on his behalf. Even if he had never existed, they would still have fought Voldemort to protect Muggleborns and others. It wasn't just Harry who was at risk from him.

Oh, you asked if my series was going to get darker. I'd add to the answer that this is probably darker than it's ever likely to get. There are some parts that might get close, but probably only one of the things here at once. Not somebody under the Imperius Curse, being forced to do evil things AND attempts to murder the main characters AND the main character blaming themselves for a death.

OK, David's theory is bizarre. And hysterically funny.

Hmm, I'm guessing you're getting rid of Fuchs for a reason. Maybe so the replacement can be a suspect next year. That would indicate there's going to be a mystery, for the reader, I mean. Whereas here, we knew who at least one villain was.

Aw, *huggles the Hufflepuffs* It's so nice of them not to celebrate publicly so they don't make others feel bad. *huggles them some more*

*laughs at this ending with Albus hoping there'll be more adventures to come when the first year of my series ended with my Albus hoping there WOULDN'T* And my Albus didn't even go through anything as bad as yours did.

Oooh, the title of the next story is intriguing. I wonder if the Chosen Four are Albus and his three friends, but that would sort of include Albus twice. But you might just need to work it that way, so the title works with your others. Hmm

Author's Response: Yeah, Harry did sort of do the Dumbledore thing. I would use Dumbledore himself, except for the fact that he is dead. *laughs*

Good point on the small "h" thing, and the s.

Yep, Harry's pretty awesome, but he isn't all-knowing. His guess on why Slytherin died and Albus survived is pretty good!

Yeah, I think maybe the Aurors use different types of curses to throw the enemy off? It could be that certain spells have only one counter-curse, so it'd be really easy to deflect them if they're only shooting one type. Then again, there is the shield charm... hmm.

Harry trusted Ron and Hermione with a lot of valuable information, so I think Harry would say, "Okay Albus, if you trust your friends, you can tell them."

Yeah, I think Flitwick will spend the entire summer before school recovering, physically and emotionally. Poor him!

When the founders were born is kind of hazy. On the chocolate frog cards (When I went to Orlando, I got the one for Salazar Slytherin) it just says "Medieval". There's never a direct date of when Hogwarts was being created or anything. We just know the rough time period.

I agree with you, "magically weak" sounds much better.

Harry is blaming himself a little unfairly, but look at it from his point of view. These people fought because they didn't want to hand Harry over to Voldemort. If Harry hadn't gone to Hogwarts, the battle would never have happened. Even when people say, "You're a hero!" he thinks, "If I'm a hero, then how did I let these people die?" He's mostly over it (Time is the ultimate healer) but I think it resurfaces every once in a while.

I LOVE David's theory. I came up with that on the spot, and i was grinning as i wrote it, unlike ten minutes before when I was writing the graveyard scene.

Yes, I am getting rid of Fuchs for a reason, even though I like Fuchs a lot. But I'm going to have a LOT of fun with the next teacher! *bounces excitedly*

*Huggles more Hufflepuffs* See? We're the best house. (Though i do imagine they had a party in their own common room.)

Well, Albus isn't exactly hoping for another adventure... you know how when you're doing something and you think it's the worst thing ever, but after it's over you think, "Oh, that's not too bad"? Well, that's basically what Albus is feeling at the end. The danger is over, he survived, and it was actually a little exciting.

Thanks for reviewing! And I'm sorry I took FOREVER getting back to you, I had 12 other people staying with me in the same house, so I didn't really have access to the computer.

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Review #48, by MargaretLane Slytherin's Office

7th July 2014:
And I finally get around to reading this. *cheers*

Hmm, the man is somebody presumed dead. That did cross my mind when reading the last chapter.

Yi-i-ikes, THAT, however, is the last thing I expected. Older wasn't exactly an exaggeration.

This is a downright bizarre comparison, but the part about the younger brother reminded me of Padraig and William Pearse. Padraig Pearse was one of those who led the 1916 Rising in Ireland and William was his younger brother, who by all accounts, took part largely out of loyalty to the older brother he adored. Both were shot after the Rising, although there seems to have been absolutely no reason to shoot William, who wasn't even an important person among the rebels. He seems to have been killed solely for having a well-known brother.

This story explains some stuff I always wondered about, like how on earth did Tom Riddle find out he was descended from Slytherin, when it's questionable whether he even knew who his mother was and even more so, how did he find out about the Basilisk?

And I love the fact that the two men deliberately set up a mystery for Albus, assuming he'd be like his father. It makes so much more sense than that they'd have stumbled upon the clues completely by themselves and that none of the teachers or older students would have noticed anything. That makes sense if the villains WANTED them to be the ones to notice things.

This sentence seems to be missing something: "The best way of dealing with Harry Potter someone he loves."

Ah! It sounds like they are trying to prevent Harry from defeating them. That makes sense. Considering he defeated Voldemort at the age of 17 and without even completing his magical education, how much more dangerous an opponent would he be in his 30s or 40s, with Auror training and a good deal of experience behind him.

"I simply want the satisfaction to be the start of England's third wizarding war" sounds a bit clumsy. "The satisfaction of being" would probably sound better.

OK, I'm flummoxed, both as to how Albus survived and how Slytherin was killed. Looks like there's a lot of information yet to come.

I really love the way you have Albus react to Slytherin's death. Some stories just gloss over the deeds the good guys perform. And something like that is bound to have an effect on you. Even if Albus didn't intend to kill him, even if it would have been self-defense even if he did and even if Slytherin should have died long ago anyway, it's still a traumatic experience if he did kill him. Though I wonder if there's more to this.

Very surprising ending. Really didn't expect that.

And I am really interested as to what's going to happen in the later stories. I assume this'll mean Zajecfer will be on his own, but who knows?

Author's Response: It was meant to be surprising revelation. If you HAD guessed earlier that the man wass Salazar Slytherin, I would have been really surprised. Slughorn was not a bad guess.

Slytherin's brother is interesting. In canon no siblings are ever mentioned for the Founders, but it doesn't make sense for them all to be only children.

After I finished reading the HP series, I wondered what Voldemort did those 10 years of absence between working at Borgin and Burkes and re-applying for Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. So I invented a reason with Salazar Slytherin, and planned to make an Albus Potter fic about it.

Since I know what I want to say, if a sentence is missing a word I don't notice. Thanks for pointing that out. I really should get a beta reader or something.

Looking back, quite a few of these sentences are clumsily written. I'll have to fix that sometime. I wrote most of this chapter in one sitting since I was so excited, so I didn't edit as I wrote like I normally do.

You'll see more of Albus's reaction about Slytherin's death in the next chapter. I was surprised at the end of Harry's first year that he hardly reacted to learning that Quirrel was dead. He just killed a guy! Even though Quirrel was bad, shouldn't an eleven year old boy feel guilty about killing a man?

A lot of answers are coming next chapter.

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Review #49, by MargaretLane Down Near the Dungeons

10th June 2014:
*laughs* Over here, it's more like April showers turn to May showers turn to June showers.

I think they are right to go to bed. There comes a point when lack of sleep is going to disadvantage you more than an extra hour or two's study is going to help.

LOVE the idea of the Death Eaters being the villains in a book.

*sighs* I think the Invisibility Cloak could be useful in case they run into Zajecfer. If there is a secret office, he could be waiting there. Or the potion could transport them to wherever he usually hangs out.

Well done Harry for figuring out something odd is going on.

And I love the way Albus believes Harry is unbeatable and has no worries at all that Zajecfer could kill his father or anything. It's sort of typical of how a twelve year old might think and really shows Albus's naivety.

Ahh, what a cliffhanger. I'm assuming this is the older man and I REALLY want to know who he is. I can't wait for the next chapter.

And I REALLY want to know what Albus thinks is impossible. That this guy could be a villain? But how does he know now that he's a villain? I guess he could guess, but you know, it could be somebody who is helping Harry try to figure out what's going on or something for all Albus knows. Maybe he just assumes whoever is in there must be in league with Zajecfer. Or maybe there's something else, like maybe this is somebody he believes dead or something. Since the older man appears to be at least as old as Voldemort, that is quite possible.

Though the only person older than Voldemort who died during the books I can think of is Dumbledore and somehow I doubt he's in league with Zajecfer or with Voldemort.

I'm sticking with Slughorn as my guess as to who the older man is.

Author's Response: I forgot that the UK gets a lot of rain. Oh well, it's just a saying. Maybe next year there will be lots of rainy weather.

I've learned the hard way that lack of sleep because of studying might make the test day difficult. I'm one of those people who tend to do all of their studying the day before.

Yes, the invisibility cloak would be useful. Rose is often smart, but sometimes she can make a silly mistake.

Albus has heard stories his entire life about Harry, and Ron probably took the liberty of exaggerating them. If Albus knew how Harry felt starting Hogwarts, Al would probably be shocked. To Albus, Harry's practically a god.

What Albus finds "impossible" is the identity of the man.

It would be an amazing plot twist if Dumbledore is a bad guy and hoped to kill off Harry by telling him that he's a horcrux, but Harry outwitted him. Yes, I also highly doubt Dumbledore is in league with Voldemort. They don't seem very similar.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I know you're super busy and it means a lot to me that you do this. :)

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Review #50, by MargaretLane Brewing Troubles

24th May 2014:
I giggled at the Easter bunny tasting like Brussels sprouts. I actually ought to have made mention of Easter being Fred and George's birthday in 1st year. I only realised it after I'd written the chapter and couldn't be bothered rewriting.

*laughs at them giving the candy from all three of them even though Albus had forgotten* Just because it reminds me of something that may happen in a couple of chapters in my story. Lalala.

By the way, "candy" is an American term. They'd probably say "sweets" or "sweets and chocolate."

Oh gosh, I didn't expect that. Putting in too much of an ingredient could send them right back to the start again. I hope they can find a way to counteract the effects of the extra ingredient.

He could probably claim he wanted to practice brewing Herbicide for his exams or something, if it's a potion they studied that year.

Aw, that's a sweet, and utterly believable reason for him to want to brew herbicide.

Author's Response: I like to know the dates of most of my events, so I pulled up a 2018 calendar online and found that Easter fell on April Fools Day! It was too good to ignore.

British people don't say candy? Now that I think about it, the word "candy" was never mentioned in Harry Potter. I learn something new every day!

The potion is very exhausting and difficult. Albus was bound to make a mistake somewhere.

Yes, he probably could have said he wanted to practice, good point. I didn't think of that. But Albus is really good at brewing potions, so Fawley would realize something else was up. Also, he needed a reason to keep it. Most likely, Fawley would have just kept the potion, which is what usually happens in potion class. In my head canon, the successful potions brewed in class Fawley keeps in case it is needed.

Thanks for reason!

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