97 Reviews Found

Review #26, by smsubramaniyan The Mysterious Man

20th December 2014:
Good chapter. But, if Albus doesn't tell to Harry, then Rose can tell to Ron, right?

Author's Response: Filch is watching all the mail- not just Albus's. And it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Albus is best friends with Rose, Art, and David. So no, Rose probably can't get a message to Ron. :(

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #27, by smsubramaniyan Flying

20th December 2014:
Rose and David - like Ron and Hermoine?

Author's Response: Rose and David are similar in the way they bicker compared to Hermione and Ron, but there are many differences between them. David has a greater emotional range than a teaspoon.

I won't say whether they end up together- I think I know whether they do, but I could change my mind eventually.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #28, by smsubramaniyan Professor Dire

20th December 2014:
Is it ok,if albus shows his invisibility cloak to all in the main hall?

Author's Response: He probably shouldn't show it to everyone in the Great Hall, but he didn't realize he'd be getting the cloak. There weren't many people paying attention anyway, except for the people at his table.

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #29, by smsubramaniyan Galleons, Books, Wands, and Jokes

20th December 2014:
Nice chapter. I think the wand will have good part in this story.

Author's Response: Albus's wand is interesting, isn't it? An elder wand... Which is the rarest type if wand wood.

Thank you for reviewing! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. :)

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Review #30, by magnolia_magic The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
Hi! Happy Hot Seat day! I'm so excited to be able to review this, since I've never read it before. I really enjoyed this first chapter!

I love that you chose to tell the story as though the HP books didn't exist, so that everything feels fresh and new. Your descriptions of the wands as "sticks," and the way you talk about Parseltongue without actually using the word...it all gave me that feeling of reading the books for the first time, and discovering the magic. It was a really enjoyable experience :)

Your characters are really interesting, too. I love the idea of Voldemort having a mentor in the shadows. It's actually a pretty scary thought, and it does open the door for future Voldemort-like people to come onto the scene. Like Zac. I can feel his eagerness to prove himself, and I hate that this old dude is basically training him to kill people and cause terror. The scene where he used the mass killing curse (a game-changer, definitely) on that group of sweet kids was so sad. I actually gasped at my computer, it was so unexpected! You did a great job of pulling me in with this chapter.

I'm hooked! You did an excellent job with this opening, and I really enjoyed reading it. I hope you have fun with the Hot Seat today, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it :)


Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the lack of magical knowledge! That was done on purpose, so I'm glad you liked it!

When I was coming up with Zajecfer, I realized I needed a reason for there two be two dark lords in such a short time period away from each other. I figured a shared mentor is a plausible explanation.

Zajecfer was no innocent guy before Slytherin started helping him out. Zajecfer had already committed some crimes.

You gasped at the computer? *Puffs chest out proudly* I suppose I shouldn't be happy at deaths, but... *squeals happily*

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #31, by likeness_of_a_seabird The Rising Wizard

20th December 2014:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review!

Ooh, that was an interesting first chapter! Iíve got so many questions I donít know where to start!

First of all, I really liked how you started by describing the Muggle family, their ordinary evening and how the children were playing in the yard. Then you switched to the two men and how out of place they looked in that neighbourhood (or would have looked if they had been visible to the Muggles). That was a very effective way to begin a story.

Then one of the men kills the children just to try out a mass-killing curse (!) and the men discuss Tom (Riddle, right?) and how the Ministry has no idea trouble is about to come. The older man clearly knew Voldemort, might have been even close to his inner circle. My first question is who is this man? He speaks so familiarly about Voldemort, even uses his real name, something a lot of people never did. Iíve been trying to think who he might be but so far Iíve got no clue about his identity. The second question concerns the younger man. Who is he? He obviously admired Voldemort, to the point of copying everything he did. What was his real name and who is his brother? So many questions, so few answersÖ for now at least!

And then the twist at the end! The two men are planning on killing James and Albus, thinking it canít be too difficult since they are only first and second yearsÖ They obviously donít know that Potters are notoriously difficult to kill even when theyíre babies. ;) The older man is quite right to tell Zac not to underestimate them.

This was such an interesting beginning! Iím looking forward to reading more!

- Emmi

Author's Response: I would agree with you that the men are probably talking about Tom Riddle. As regards to the old man... I came up with the plot because I wondered, "Where did Voldemort get all his education from, other than books and things? And exactly what was he up to in those years between resigning at Borgin and Burkes and getting and applying for a job with Dumbledore?

Yes, the older man is right to tell Zac to be careful and things. Unfortunately, Zac is a bit hot-headed, and eager to prove himself to the world.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #32, by marauderfan The Mysterious Man

19th December 2014:
David's humour is so great, hahaha Professor Dire defeating an opposing Seeker just by glaring at him :P I'm glad Albus made the reserve team though! I think it's realistic that he wouldn't have made an actual position on the team, being only eleven and competing against kids who were a few years older. Still, it says a lot for him that he made it as reserve! Good for him :)

Ooh, I remember Lord Zajecfer from the beginning - sounds like he's up to nothing good. He's got some power now and isn't afraid to jump right in there with his plan of whatever he's doing, and it worries me that he wants to do whatever he's doing at Hogwarts. Scary! Btw, I tried to unscramble his name again and came up with nothing. :p

Rose is a smart one! Albus should listen to her. After all, it's not like this time they have Dumbledore on their side watching over to make sure they're safe as they poke their noses into things - they would be smart to involve adults. Yes, they've got no proof, but I think someone might listen given how scary the idea is!

Great chapter! I love the way you're building up this story!

Author's Response: Professor Dire's glare is pretty powerful. *grins*

Albus is a good Quidditch player, but not as good as Harry, so that is why he is a reserve.

Good for you for trying to unscramble Zajecfer's name! Keep in mind, it might not have a wizarding name, or even a name you've heard of. It could, but not necessarily. It might not even not be meant to be unscrambled... keep in mind that word "might".

Rose is smart! Unfortunately, Albus is one of those Gryffindors who lacks a brain for the most part, so he might not listen to Rose. *sigh*

Thanks for the review!

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Review #33, by marauderfan Flying

19th December 2014:
Aw! I love that they're having tea with Hagrid :D

Wow, Fang is a super ancient dog at this point.

I love the friendship you've established between the four so far - they get on really well, and seem like a good mix of traits to balance each other out as well.

Al's desire to be good at Quidditch is really understandable given the pressures from his parents' successes in it. Likewise I really understand his desire to not be the same as them, to be his own person and not just famous for his father's fame. I think that's a very natural reeling the Potter kids would have.

Oh my goodness, how dare you leave the end of the chapter there ;) Did he get on? Aah! :p

Author's Response: Wizards live longer than normal people... so I'll just say that wizarding dogs live longer than normal dogs as well.

Yes, I like the friendship between Albus and his three friends as well. They work well together.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to grow up with a famous family. I'm glad I don't have to deal with that.

Chapter cliffhangers aren't bad, since there's always the next one... *nudge nudge*

Thank you so much for the review!

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Review #34, by marauderfan Professor Dire

19th December 2014:
Happy Hot Seat Day!!

It's really exciting to come back to this story as I read some of it ages ago and loved it!

Haha! I loved Harry's letter, the "I sooo know you stole my map, but it's okay" :p And yay for getting the Invisibility Cloak! I guess Harry is perfectly aware that his kids are going to break all sorts of rules, so this will make it at least so they don't get in trouble as much for it :P

Poor Art, he really is having the toughest time adjusting! All the weird plants and the ghosts and Peeves (whom I was super excited to see in here haha).. it's cool because you're reminding the reader of all the magic in the wizarding world, kind of like how Harry first saw everything in the first book.

What a twist on things. A cheerful Potions Teacher, I can't even imagine what the class would be like. It just seems like such an alien idea. XD And a cold, calculating Tranfig professor, he's going to be one to watch out for. I wonder if the students will learn to just raise their hands when they don't know the answer, to avoid being called on? Kind of like reverse psychology.

Ooh, is Rose interested in Divination? I bet her mum would be thrilled. :p

Excellent chapter!

Author's Response: Wait, I'm on the hot seat today??? *Checks common room* I almost forgot about that!

Harry, being a known rule-breaker himself, can't really go to his kids and say "Don't break the rules."

Art isn't having a terrible time adjusting, just as much as most muggle-borns. Hermione didn't seem to have much of a problem, but she read a ton of books before school started and became like an expert on the wizarding world...

Slughorn was pretty cheerful! A cheerful Potions teacher isn't that out of the question. But Snape... *shudders*

I modeled Professor Dire off of a teacher I had when I was eleven. Reverse psychology wouldn't necessarily work... here's why: On the first few days of school, Dire takes notice of the students who seem a bit shy and not incredibly smart in his subject. He makes note of the students who seem to be doing the worse. He picks a few students out from the class, and calls on them CONSTANTLY. Once you're picked, you are doomed. You're called on like at least every other question. When tests come around, the lists of the "picked on" students might change a little bit, but for the most part they stay the same. The students who do poorly are called on to answer questions, while the students on the smarter side of the spectrum are rarely called on, since they most likely already know the answer. The teacher, in this case Professor Dire, thinks they are trying to help out the student by pushing to them to try harder, but they're actually just intimidating them and making them do worse. So later on, raising your hand won't make any difference. Luckily I did okay on my tests and things, but I pitied the two kids in my class who were subjected to the "death stare" multiple times every day.

Rose is different than her mom in a few ways... her subject interests are the most obvious difference.

Thank you thank you thank you for reviewing!!

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Review #35, by ohmymerlin Tears and Laughter

4th December 2014:


Absolutely brilliant story! I also really liked the theory of Slytherin being weak magically! That was very clever! :D

And omg David is hilarious, absolutely love that guy, haha!

Amazing story! Amazing author! I'm interested to see the sequel! :)

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hooray! It is done! *cheers* *throws up fireworks*

I have no idea where the "magic weak" thing came from... it just popped in my head. Or maybe I'm just naturally clever. :)

David is awesome. He's a cool guy.

The first chapter of the sequel is popping into the queue today! Check back in a few days.

Thanks for the review!!

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Review #36, by MargaretLane Tears and Laughter

21st August 2014:
Yay, the final chapter is up. Not that I want this to be over, but I do want some answers.

*laughs at Harry's comment that he's been unconscious often enough to know how people feel afterwards* That probably wasn't meant to be amusing, but it kind of is because it's so true.

Looks like Harry's going to do the Dumbledore thing here and explain what needs to be explained.

There should be a small "h" on "his dad said bashfully," as it's part of the same sentence as the dialogue.

And love the way Harry is still somewhat intimidated by Madame Pomfrey nearly 20 years after leaving school. She is rather formidable.

There shouldn't be an apostrophe before the "s" in "Slytherins", as it's a plural, not a possessive.

I like the fact Harry says he may not know all the answers. That makes sense. It's sort of unlikely he WOULD know everything, as obviously he didn't know of Slytherin's continued existence until now.

So Harry essentially killed Zajecfer or would have only for the Horcruxes. I hadn't expected THAT. I'd assumed it would be like many of the battles in the books when the villain escapes, but this DOES make sense. It's actually strange people don't use more serious spells often in the books. I mean, I wouldn't expect the good guys to use the Killing Curse or anything, but I'd expect the Death Eaters to use it pretty much constantly and I'd expect the Aurors and Order of the Phoenix to use more body binding curses and ones like that.

And it makes sense Harry'd let him tell Rose, Art and David, since they already KNOW a fair amount and would probably be more worried and curious if they DIDN'T get the full story.

I REALLY like the way you show the emotional effects events have on the characters. It makes sense Flitwick would feel very guilty that, far from protecting the students, he actually helped endanger them, albeit against his will. He's bound to feel he SHOULD have been able to throw off the Imperius Curse, especially since he was a duelling champion, wasn't he? So he'd probably feel like he was a failure in that way as well as worrying he could have helped harm a student. Poor Flitwick.

And I love Harry's explanation that he's no Dumbledore. It makes sense Flitwick wouldn't have Dumbledore's abilities, since nobody does. And it makes him more of an individual character rather than just "the Headmaster".

He could be well over a thousand years old, really, as the Sorting Hat said he was created "about a thousand years ago" about 23 years before this and presumably Slytherin was pretty old at that point, as they were wondering how to sort the students after they died, so say he was sixty. Now of course when the hat said "about a thousand," it could have been 900 or even less, but it could equally have been 1,050, in which case Slytherin would be over 1,100. But yeah, either way, he's ANCIENT.

This is more just a personal opinion than anything else, but I think "magically weak" might sound better than "magic weak".

I also really like the fact Albus doesn't get over what happened when Harry points out it was an accident and that murder is intentionally killing somebody, because it's not that easy to just get over something like that.

And I love the fact Harry lets Albus get up without telling Poppy.

I think Harry is blaming himself unfairly too. They didn't die on his behalf. Even if he had never existed, they would still have fought Voldemort to protect Muggleborns and others. It wasn't just Harry who was at risk from him.

Oh, you asked if my series was going to get darker. I'd add to the answer that this is probably darker than it's ever likely to get. There are some parts that might get close, but probably only one of the things here at once. Not somebody under the Imperius Curse, being forced to do evil things AND attempts to murder the main characters AND the main character blaming themselves for a death.

OK, David's theory is bizarre. And hysterically funny.

Hmm, I'm guessing you're getting rid of Fuchs for a reason. Maybe so the replacement can be a suspect next year. That would indicate there's going to be a mystery, for the reader, I mean. Whereas here, we knew who at least one villain was.

Aw, *huggles the Hufflepuffs* It's so nice of them not to celebrate publicly so they don't make others feel bad. *huggles them some more*

*laughs at this ending with Albus hoping there'll be more adventures to come when the first year of my series ended with my Albus hoping there WOULDN'T* And my Albus didn't even go through anything as bad as yours did.

Oooh, the title of the next story is intriguing. I wonder if the Chosen Four are Albus and his three friends, but that would sort of include Albus twice. But you might just need to work it that way, so the title works with your others. Hmm

Author's Response: Yeah, Harry did sort of do the Dumbledore thing. I would use Dumbledore himself, except for the fact that he is dead. *laughs*

Good point on the small "h" thing, and the s.

Yep, Harry's pretty awesome, but he isn't all-knowing. His guess on why Slytherin died and Albus survived is pretty good!

Yeah, I think maybe the Aurors use different types of curses to throw the enemy off? It could be that certain spells have only one counter-curse, so it'd be really easy to deflect them if they're only shooting one type. Then again, there is the shield charm... hmm.

Harry trusted Ron and Hermione with a lot of valuable information, so I think Harry would say, "Okay Albus, if you trust your friends, you can tell them."

Yeah, I think Flitwick will spend the entire summer before school recovering, physically and emotionally. Poor him!

When the founders were born is kind of hazy. On the chocolate frog cards (When I went to Orlando, I got the one for Salazar Slytherin) it just says "Medieval". There's never a direct date of when Hogwarts was being created or anything. We just know the rough time period.

I agree with you, "magically weak" sounds much better.

Harry is blaming himself a little unfairly, but look at it from his point of view. These people fought because they didn't want to hand Harry over to Voldemort. If Harry hadn't gone to Hogwarts, the battle would never have happened. Even when people say, "You're a hero!" he thinks, "If I'm a hero, then how did I let these people die?" He's mostly over it (Time is the ultimate healer) but I think it resurfaces every once in a while.

I LOVE David's theory. I came up with that on the spot, and i was grinning as i wrote it, unlike ten minutes before when I was writing the graveyard scene.

Yes, I am getting rid of Fuchs for a reason, even though I like Fuchs a lot. But I'm going to have a LOT of fun with the next teacher! *bounces excitedly*

*Huggles more Hufflepuffs* See? We're the best house. (Though i do imagine they had a party in their own common room.)

Well, Albus isn't exactly hoping for another adventure... you know how when you're doing something and you think it's the worst thing ever, but after it's over you think, "Oh, that's not too bad"? Well, that's basically what Albus is feeling at the end. The danger is over, he survived, and it was actually a little exciting.

Thanks for reviewing! And I'm sorry I took FOREVER getting back to you, I had 12 other people staying with me in the same house, so I didn't really have access to the computer.

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Review #37, by ohmymerlin Slytherin's Office

10th July 2014:
*gasps loudly*

What I just what how I mean you explained it but what I would have never ever ever picked that out of anything! Talk about a plot twist!

But yay Albus defeated him! It was a bit weird it was with Petrificus Totalus but I guess he'd been alive for so long he just kind of deteriorated. Kind of like Mother Gothel in Tangled!

Poor Albus, thinking he was a murderer :( He isn't because it was out of self-defence and he didn't mean to kill him! He was just trying to protect himself. I WILL NOT ALLOW ALBUS TO FEEL DISTRESSED OR UPSET ABOUT THIS.

Also, poor thing passed out! Too much action for a kid, huh?

Oh, and I nearly forgot to mention but when Albus was swinging the ball and chain around to destroy the Horcurxes, it strongly reminded me of Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' :P I really could imagine Al singing it as he destroyed them all, hahaha!

Great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one -- the last one! D':

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Well, it is called "Slytherin's Office"... but yeah, it is meant to be a plot twist.

Your theory is billiant! And actually kind of true! Good for you! (That rhyming was unintentional.)

Yes, Albus certainly was only self-defending and didn't even produce a deadly curse, but he still feels guilty.

Albus passed out from shock. He got hit with the killing curse and survived, while Slytherin got hit with a body-bind and died. That is quite shocking!

I've actually never listened to "Wrecking Ball". I don't listen to most of Miley Cyrus's stuff, but I'll definitely check it out!

The last chapter! *sobs emotionally* But I do have six more books to do, so I'm not done with Albus yet. When I realize I'm only 1/7 of the way done, I feel like crying. But I'll do it, even if it takes me twenty years! Gosh, I hope it doesn't take me that long...

Thank you for reviewing!!

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Review #38, by ohmymerlin Down Near the Dungeons

10th July 2014:

I'm sorry for taking so long to review! I'd read the chapter but I just hadn't had the time to review but now I'm finally here!

GO ALBUS! He made such a great achievement, making that potion especially seeing as he's still only a little fella! I liked that he felt the Potions exam was a breeze. I could practically hear his hair flick once he was walking out of that exam, haha!

Speaking of, you wrote the exams very well! I liked how nervous they got and how Rose studied in her dorm to get away from the boys :P



And that's a mean cliffhanger! But luckily chapter 25 is already out for me so I can happily skip away to the next chapter! Well... not happily but worriedly because I'm so scared who this crazy psychopath will be! D':

I'll be back :--)))

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hooray for using the review to get points for Hufflepuff! I feel TERRIBLE for not doing reviews, but I am kind of busy. Argh!

Yes, I can imagine that at the end of the Potions exam, he made a LOT of people jealous. Ha ha.

I imagine before their first exams they'll be very nervous (I know I was).


You are SO lucky you didn't have to wait. :)

Thanks for the review!

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Review #39, by MargaretLane Slytherin's Office

7th July 2014:
And I finally get around to reading this. *cheers*

Hmm, the man is somebody presumed dead. That did cross my mind when reading the last chapter.

Yi-i-ikes, THAT, however, is the last thing I expected. Older wasn't exactly an exaggeration.

This is a downright bizarre comparison, but the part about the younger brother reminded me of Padraig and William Pearse. Padraig Pearse was one of those who led the 1916 Rising in Ireland and William was his younger brother, who by all accounts, took part largely out of loyalty to the older brother he adored. Both were shot after the Rising, although there seems to have been absolutely no reason to shoot William, who wasn't even an important person among the rebels. He seems to have been killed solely for having a well-known brother.

This story explains some stuff I always wondered about, like how on earth did Tom Riddle find out he was descended from Slytherin, when it's questionable whether he even knew who his mother was and even more so, how did he find out about the Basilisk?

And I love the fact that the two men deliberately set up a mystery for Albus, assuming he'd be like his father. It makes so much more sense than that they'd have stumbled upon the clues completely by themselves and that none of the teachers or older students would have noticed anything. That makes sense if the villains WANTED them to be the ones to notice things.

This sentence seems to be missing something: "The best way of dealing with Harry Potter someone he loves."

Ah! It sounds like they are trying to prevent Harry from defeating them. That makes sense. Considering he defeated Voldemort at the age of 17 and without even completing his magical education, how much more dangerous an opponent would he be in his 30s or 40s, with Auror training and a good deal of experience behind him.

"I simply want the satisfaction to be the start of England's third wizarding war" sounds a bit clumsy. "The satisfaction of being" would probably sound better.

OK, I'm flummoxed, both as to how Albus survived and how Slytherin was killed. Looks like there's a lot of information yet to come.

I really love the way you have Albus react to Slytherin's death. Some stories just gloss over the deeds the good guys perform. And something like that is bound to have an effect on you. Even if Albus didn't intend to kill him, even if it would have been self-defense even if he did and even if Slytherin should have died long ago anyway, it's still a traumatic experience if he did kill him. Though I wonder if there's more to this.

Very surprising ending. Really didn't expect that.

And I am really interested as to what's going to happen in the later stories. I assume this'll mean Zajecfer will be on his own, but who knows?

Author's Response: It was meant to be surprising revelation. If you HAD guessed earlier that the man wass Salazar Slytherin, I would have been really surprised. Slughorn was not a bad guess.

Slytherin's brother is interesting. In canon no siblings are ever mentioned for the Founders, but it doesn't make sense for them all to be only children.

After I finished reading the HP series, I wondered what Voldemort did those 10 years of absence between working at Borgin and Burkes and re-applying for Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. So I invented a reason with Salazar Slytherin, and planned to make an Albus Potter fic about it.

Since I know what I want to say, if a sentence is missing a word I don't notice. Thanks for pointing that out. I really should get a beta reader or something.

Looking back, quite a few of these sentences are clumsily written. I'll have to fix that sometime. I wrote most of this chapter in one sitting since I was so excited, so I didn't edit as I wrote like I normally do.

You'll see more of Albus's reaction about Slytherin's death in the next chapter. I was surprised at the end of Harry's first year that he hardly reacted to learning that Quirrel was dead. He just killed a guy! Even though Quirrel was bad, shouldn't an eleven year old boy feel guilty about killing a man?

A lot of answers are coming next chapter.

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Review #40, by MargaretLane Down Near the Dungeons

10th June 2014:
*laughs* Over here, it's more like April showers turn to May showers turn to June showers.

I think they are right to go to bed. There comes a point when lack of sleep is going to disadvantage you more than an extra hour or two's study is going to help.

LOVE the idea of the Death Eaters being the villains in a book.

*sighs* I think the Invisibility Cloak could be useful in case they run into Zajecfer. If there is a secret office, he could be waiting there. Or the potion could transport them to wherever he usually hangs out.

Well done Harry for figuring out something odd is going on.

And I love the way Albus believes Harry is unbeatable and has no worries at all that Zajecfer could kill his father or anything. It's sort of typical of how a twelve year old might think and really shows Albus's naivety.

Ahh, what a cliffhanger. I'm assuming this is the older man and I REALLY want to know who he is. I can't wait for the next chapter.

And I REALLY want to know what Albus thinks is impossible. That this guy could be a villain? But how does he know now that he's a villain? I guess he could guess, but you know, it could be somebody who is helping Harry try to figure out what's going on or something for all Albus knows. Maybe he just assumes whoever is in there must be in league with Zajecfer. Or maybe there's something else, like maybe this is somebody he believes dead or something. Since the older man appears to be at least as old as Voldemort, that is quite possible.

Though the only person older than Voldemort who died during the books I can think of is Dumbledore and somehow I doubt he's in league with Zajecfer or with Voldemort.

I'm sticking with Slughorn as my guess as to who the older man is.

Author's Response: I forgot that the UK gets a lot of rain. Oh well, it's just a saying. Maybe next year there will be lots of rainy weather.

I've learned the hard way that lack of sleep because of studying might make the test day difficult. I'm one of those people who tend to do all of their studying the day before.

Yes, the invisibility cloak would be useful. Rose is often smart, but sometimes she can make a silly mistake.

Albus has heard stories his entire life about Harry, and Ron probably took the liberty of exaggerating them. If Albus knew how Harry felt starting Hogwarts, Al would probably be shocked. To Albus, Harry's practically a god.

What Albus finds "impossible" is the identity of the man.

It would be an amazing plot twist if Dumbledore is a bad guy and hoped to kill off Harry by telling him that he's a horcrux, but Harry outwitted him. Yes, I also highly doubt Dumbledore is in league with Voldemort. They don't seem very similar.

Thank you so much for reviewing! I know you're super busy and it means a lot to me that you do this. :)

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Review #41, by MargaretLane Brewing Troubles

24th May 2014:
I giggled at the Easter bunny tasting like Brussels sprouts. I actually ought to have made mention of Easter being Fred and George's birthday in 1st year. I only realised it after I'd written the chapter and couldn't be bothered rewriting.

*laughs at them giving the candy from all three of them even though Albus had forgotten* Just because it reminds me of something that may happen in a couple of chapters in my story. Lalala.

By the way, "candy" is an American term. They'd probably say "sweets" or "sweets and chocolate."

Oh gosh, I didn't expect that. Putting in too much of an ingredient could send them right back to the start again. I hope they can find a way to counteract the effects of the extra ingredient.

He could probably claim he wanted to practice brewing Herbicide for his exams or something, if it's a potion they studied that year.

Aw, that's a sweet, and utterly believable reason for him to want to brew herbicide.

Author's Response: I like to know the dates of most of my events, so I pulled up a 2018 calendar online and found that Easter fell on April Fools Day! It was too good to ignore.

British people don't say candy? Now that I think about it, the word "candy" was never mentioned in Harry Potter. I learn something new every day!

The potion is very exhausting and difficult. Albus was bound to make a mistake somewhere.

Yes, he probably could have said he wanted to practice, good point. I didn't think of that. But Albus is really good at brewing potions, so Fawley would realize something else was up. Also, he needed a reason to keep it. Most likely, Fawley would have just kept the potion, which is what usually happens in potion class. In my head canon, the successful potions brewed in class Fawley keeps in case it is needed.

Thanks for reason!

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Review #42, by ohmymerlin Brewing Troubles

24th May 2014:
Hello! I love whenever I see a new chapter of this! I just want to know what's going to happen! :D

I LOVE the chocolate bunny/April Fools gift! It was pure genius! :D

Although, I noticed a teensy little error:

Unfortunately, Albus wasn't their most of the day, since he worked on the potion

You've just put the wrong 'there' in this sentence ;)

I feel bad for Albus. The poor guy has his whole schedule mucked up but the rest of them are generally fine! I know that he kicked Rose and David out but still! If only they were as good as him! :(

When you wrote that Albus needed to get seven shrivelfigs but grabbed eight, I was about to point out that you made a mistake somewhere but then I read on and was like, "Aaahhh that makes sense." :P

Anyway, I can't wait to read the next chapter! Exciting you say?! :D :D :D

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: I made up the chocolate bunny gift spur of the moment. That's what happens to most of my ideas, except for the ones relating to the plot.

Yes, I did put the wrong "there"! Usually I automatically correct that as I'm writing, but I must have missed this.

Albus does have a busy schedule, and thank goodness Art helps him out. Rose and David would have been way to distracting, and if you're doing a complicated potion you shouldn't have any distractions!

Yes, unfortunately, Albus did not realize his mistake of grabbing eight shrivelfigs. Lucky for him, Rose helped him fix it.

Yes, the next chapter is very exciting. There are only three chapters left!

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Review #43, by ohmymerlin The Hidden Room

4th May 2014:



I'm sorry this is a really bad review but all I can say is EEEK THINGS ARE STARTING TO BEGIN!! THEY'RE SO CLOSE!!! :D

So yeah, sorry for this lame review but I can't articulate anything at this moment, haha!

Can't wait to read the next chapter! :D ♥

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Yes! Things are happening! Exciting things are coming! *Squeals happily*

Thank you for the review!

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Review #44, by MargaretLane The Hidden Room

2nd May 2014:
Well, yes, with Zajecfer around, Albus's life could DEFINITELY change for the worse in the blink of an eye, though I guess Neville doesn't know about that. I wonder if that line is some sort of foreshadowing.

At one point Art says "as long as you know the Gryffindor's", when Albus says he is bad with names. Since there is more than one Gryffindor, the apostrophe should be after the s.

Hmm, so it looks like I may well have been wrong about the hidden room being a room where Zajecfer is hiding.

This room could well continue to play a part throughout your series, if the adults don't find out about it.

And I LOVE the suggestion that it could be where Hogwarts began. I've been actually reading some stuff lately (long story) that involved the opening of the Sisters of Mercy's schools in Ireland and it was talking about how a lot of the secondary schools started in a room or a couple of rooms in the convent, back in the 19th century, when not many people went to school beyond the age of maybe 12 or 14. I really like the idea of Hogwarts starting off much smaller than it finally became.

*laughs* With the chapter called "The Hidden Room", being near the end of the story and when it began with Albus talking about how he wanted to begin brewing the potion, I assumed they'd find out where Zajecfer went by the end, but no, I've to wait a little longer. I guess it can't be MUCH longer though.

Rose says "Aunt Hermione brewed Polyjuice Potion in her second year." I think she'd say "Mum".

Looking forward to seeing what they find out.

Author's Response: Just about anyone's life can change quickly. Neville might have not been changed very quickly, but he went huge character development. Neville knows better than most.

Good point about the apostrophe thing. I didn't catch that.

Yes, I'm very excited about their secret room. It definitely can be used throughout the series, I'm already planning for its usage.

Yes, the chapter title was a little misleading. That was planned.

I doubt Hogwarts was as big as it was now. Where would the get the funding? I suppose one of the founders, or all, could have been rich, but they probably didn't know how sucessful the school would be. I like the idea of Hogwarts Castle evolving over the centuries.

You don't have to wait much longer. The exciting things start happening in Chapter 24.

Yes, Rose would say "Mum". Good catch! I usually just notice grammar and spelling and things.

Thank you for reviewing! Every review you leave brings another smile to my day. :)

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Review #45, by ohmymerlin A Talk With Japser

10th April 2014:


But ahhh everything is slowly moving along! I just want them to be safe and happy but I have a feeling that that won't happen for a long time!

Anyway, sorry for this lame review but I'm absolutely exhausted at the moment but I still wanted to review :p I can't wait to read the next chapter!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Yes, unwise of Albus to get into the black market of Hogwarts. But it is necessary.

There is still some more excitement, but the climax is coming up soon-ish. It's not as far as along as you might think.

It's okay, I love every review I get!!! Thank you!

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Review #46, by MargaretLane A Talk With Japser

2nd April 2014:
I found this chapter completely by accident. *laughs* I was just flicking through the "recently added" to see if there was anything worth reading and realised "oh gosh, the next chapter of Albus Potter and Slytherin's Office is up. YAY!"

And the chapter title seems somewhat intriguing.

Yeah, that's intriguing all right - how Albus's magic works. I wonder if there's something to it or if you are just showing how different people have different strengths and weaknesses and what most people find easy can be difficult for somebody and something others find difficult can be easy for them. *pays close attention*

*laughs* I've just been writing about snow. I guess it makes sense that both our stories would mention it since Hogwarts is in Scotland, but it's still funny that both the chapter I was writing and the one I'm reading today had mentions of it.

And *laughs*, Slytherin were the worst team in my Albus's first year too, though things are changing now in my current story.

The wording of this paragraph in general seems kinda confused: "A few days before the match, Albus, David, and Rose ate dinner near the end of the day. Homework buried itself in Art, so Art planned to come down later. Albus found himself in a predicament, for he ate some pasta as Art came running into the great hall, eager about something."

You've also had Art saying that "people who are quiet are really good listener." It should be "listeners".

The word "promoted" doesn't really fit in the line "the next day promoted a nerve-wracking day for Gryffindor". Something like "proved" would fit better.

I actually laughed out loud and Louis saying he knows he's not supposed to be biased, but hey, he's a Gryffindor.

LOVE all the statistics. I'm getting the impression Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff all have pretty much equal chance of winning.

Oh, yikes, I did NOT expect THAT to happen. When they were thirty points ahead, I was wondering would that be enough, 'cause I think they said they needed more than thirty points, but then I thought it was probably thirty OR more. I was sure Gyffindor would win the cup or at least get to the final. Especially when Ravenclaw were doing so well, I kind of thought Gryffindor were going to stage a massive comeback.

I think, though, it's good to have the house of the main characters not get into the final. It makes it different from other stories. Plus, when you're writing the whole seven years, it's a bit unrealistic if the one house wins every year.

Bet the Gryffindors will be annoyed at their Seeker for catching the Snitch then, when they could possibly have got another goal if they'd waited.

I'm with Rose on this one. A Dark Lord trying to kill you is a bit more serious than losing a match.

*laughs at the comment that sulking about Quidditch is a good use of time*

I thought of that just before they mentioned it - what Zajecfer intended to do if he hadn't killed Albus by the summer, but I guess he's planning to have it done by then. Maybe he even has something planned that they, and we, don't know about.

And ooh, this makes it sound like Zajecfer might have some other reason to be in Hogwarts as well. MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN SLYTHERIN'S OFFICE HE'S TRYING TO FIND.

Author's Response: Magic is a strange and beautiful thing. Part of the reason Albus has an easier time is that he doesn't have to pronounce the words, which is something he has trouble with.

Yeah, maybe next year Slytherin won't be the worst. I don't know. It was actually a coincidence they ended up the worst: I wanted Gryffindor to lose to Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, but beat Slytherin. So that's just how it worked out.

Yes, I agree, that is TERRIBLE wording. I'll fix it.

Yes, it should be "listeners". Good catch!

Louis does have a point, doesn't he? It'd be impossible for him not to be biased.

I love the statistics too. For a few of the numbers I actually had to do some *gasp* math. But I had a lot of fun writing it.

Yeah, and Gryffindor never won the house cup until Harry's third year. So why shouldn't Gryffindor win this year?

They'll be a little annoyed at her, but the majority of the Gryffindor team realizes she had to catch the snitch then or the other seeker would have gotten it. She's a good seeker, just not undefeatable.

Yes, I'm with Rose as well. Boys are ridiculous when it comes to Quidditch. Just because I write my main character's actions doesn't mean I agree with them.

Why is Zajecfer at Hogwarts? Will we ever know? *wink wink*

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Review #47, by ohmymerlin Two Peculiar Subjects

24th February 2014:

This was such a good chapter, I love Al so much! And OH MY GOD HE CAN DO NON-VERBAL SPELLS AT A FIRST YEAR LEVEL! THAT'S AMAZING!

And Art! He's such a cutie, I love him! I had this mad thought that maybe he's secretly evil but he's just too cute for that!

I love reading Rose! She's such a great character!

I'm pretty sure your chemistry is right, by the way! I only did it in year 11 - I ended up dropping the subject - but I'm 90% sure that's exactly how it works! Obviously there are a lot more tiny little details (electrons/protons) but you're right in general terms! :D

Anywho, I really liked this chapter! I can't wait to read the next one!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Albus is impressive. :)

You thought Art was evil? *sobs* Not poor Art!

Yeah, I took Chemistry a few years ago, so I'm pretty confident about Fuchs's explanation. I just wanted to be sure. :)

Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #48, by MargaretLane Two Peculiar Subjects

24th February 2014:
LOVE the title of this chapter. I love seeing classes and the suggestion that they will be peculiar intrigues me. *goes to see what is going on*

*laughs at Albus searching through a trunk for reasons you will appreciate*

Oh ONLY ten ingredients! That should be no problem, so. /sarcasm

I think you are missing a word when Filch asks if they are ordering dungbombs. You've written, "'no,' told him."

Yes, I think Hermione MIGHT get suspicious if they asked "by the way, how did you break into the Potions stores?" And the people reading the letters would probably be suspicious too.

*laughs at Filch getting more and more paranoid*

*laughs at Albus saying "um, not David" after worrying somebody'd be offended if he chose somebody else* I think it's more offensive when he chooses somebody as the person he'd least trust. I don't blame him though. David doesn't appear the most careful. I did laugh out loud at him blurting that out though.

Yeah, he can hardly say, "no, I need to get to Potions so we can steal something from the stores, can he?" It reminds me a little of this time our science teacher kept us late to tidy up the lab after an experiment and people started arguing, "but we haven't our homework done for x class (can't remember what class it was now). We need our break to get it done it."

I like the fact that Albus has a specific problem with the spells. It makes sense that different things would cause difficulty for different people and it gives more depth than just saying he's good or bad at a particular subject.

*laughs at the Forgetfulness Potion making them forget what step they were on* I used that for an eagle's question once with "what potion would you not know you'd taken?"

And of course, it would give Albus a great excuse for asking even slightly stupid questions. I hadn't thought of that. He can even repeat a question if he runs out of things to say to distract him and pretend he's forgotten he asked.

It might be better to make "don't worry about the fumes too much" and "they shouldn't affect you too badly" two separate sentences.

And I like the idea that the fumes become a problem as there are so many potions of it being brewed at the same time. That makes sense.

Oooh, cliffhanger. I wonder what they'll do now.

Author's Response: Oh yeah, I never really thought about how in our stories our characters both search through trunks. I never seem to realize the similarities until you point them out.

Well, the potion has quite a few ingredients, so 10 isn't that bad...

I missed a word! That's the doom of knowing what's supposed to happen when you proofread.

Yes, I know the feeling of needing to tell someone that you can't do something, but don't want to tell them. I don't talk about fanfiction much, so if somebody asks me to do something, I think "I really need to work on this one chapter!" but I don't tell them, and end up doing whatever they want me to do.

Oh yes, Albus could repeat questions. Good suggestion; I never thought of that.

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Review #49, by ohmymerlin Marauder Missions

12th January 2014:
This is odd because I don't have my alias anymore, you know who I am! I actually forgot to favourite this and then I saw it in the recently updated novels or whatever and I did a little jiggle because I was so happy that there was another chapter, ahaha :p

Anyway, this chapter was good! They have the book and the Cloak! Yay! And I'm a bit glad Al is starting to stick up for himself to James, and I liked he felt guilty using blackmail - it shows that he's truly a good kid :)

I also liked that Al felt uncomfortable with David and Art using the Map because they lost it, it shows that he really is an ordinary eleven year old boy :p They get very particular with things and I love that you wrote it so well!

And they're so cute making plans and saying that they could be detectives! It just makes me aw! :p

This was another lovely chapter, you're such a talented writer! I LOVE this story, I can't believe I'd never read it before Christmas!

10/10 :)

- Kayla :D

Author's Response: Yay! You came back! :)

I think when Albus is at Hogwarts he seems more confident, than when he was at home. And Albus is a good kid. :)

Yeah, little first-year detectives. I like writing about kids.

It's not surprising you didn't see it before Christmas, I don't advertise it a lot except for on my signature and my profile.

Thank you so much for the review!!!

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Review #50, by MargaretLane Marauder Missions

12th January 2014:
Yay, new chapter of Albus Potter and Slytherin's Office. And the chapter title is intriguing. Hmm. *goes to read*

Love your first paragraph. You really capture the emotions they are feeling, particularly Albus.

This is really, really nit-picky, but one thing I would say is there are a couple of places in it where you could replace the names with pronouns. Like you've already said David and Art lost the Invisibility Cloak, so you could just say Albus was angry with them rather than using their names again. As I said, REALLY nit-picky, but the paragraph is so emotional and powerful and I feel using their names again just slows it down that bit.

*laughs* I think you hinted at this part in a review to my stories - about James being unwilling to help them. I think he might help get the Invisibility Cloak back though, because he would want to be able to use it himself.

*laughs at Albus figuring out James would be in the kitchen* How typical of him!

And I love the planning they are doing. Plastering Trelawney's wall with itching powder and replacing her crystal balls with pumpkins are exactly the kind of things I could imagine James doing. I'd love to see some of his pranks actually.

Master Shafiq?

So THAT'S why Albus was eavesdropping. I couldn't figure out why he wanted to know what James was planning, though I should have guessed. It's so OBVIOUS now that it's been explained.

Aw, poor Albus. I mean I think it's good he doesn't like blackmailing people, but the part about not being used to standing up to James gives me sympathy for him.

I really like the indication Albus trusts Rose more than Art and David. It makes sense as they've known each other all their lives, whereas he's only known the others a few months. It makes sense he'd want to confide in her.

That mission went fairly well. I was expecting Filch to appear or something. Thought Art might have to distract him or that he might shout at them that Filch was on his way back and they'd have to rush things.

I like the mention of the kitchens being better known now than in Harry's time, because of course, things would have changed. The wizarding world seems to change fairly slowly, but still, everything is not going to remain the same. And I like the way Albus refers to "his father's time" as if it's the Dark Ages or something (or rather the Golden Art of Art and Learning as the same period was over here; Ireland likes to be different, it seems). It makes sense. After all, it happened before he was even born.

*laughs at the idea of Albus being able to use Snape's ability because he has his middle name*

And yeah, I can definitely see why they wouldn't want any of their cousins involved and if Hermione could brew the Polyjuice potion in 2nd year, I reckon Albus can do it.

And guess what: it is the 12th of January, so Happy Birthday Albus! *grins* Weird his birthday is around the same time in both our stories. I mean it's the 8th of December in mine, but that's only a month earlier.

And you know what I was thinking recently? I'd love to see Flitwick's reaction at the end of this story when he realises he's unwittingly been helping a Dark Wizard in his attempt to kill a couple of his students. You might already have planned to show that, but if it isn't shown in this, I'd love to see a one-shot about it or something. Although I'm sure you've enough to write with this whole series, without writing stuff just 'cause I want to see it. It would be interesting though. I mean, how horrific a realisation must that be?!

This is one of your better chapters, I think. Really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: You have a good point. I'm kind of paranoid when it comes to pronouns, because I used to say "they" all the time for papers and such, and my mom would be ask me who are "they"? But you're right, repeating Art and David that many times is a bit overkill.

Yeah, I did hint at that part. I did it knowing that you would read it in just a few weeks.

James's pranks are brilliant. Unfortunately, you won't see most of them for a long time.

Shafiq is the last name of James's best friend John. I should probably clarify that. Even though I'm sure I've mentioned it once or twice, but it's probably hard to remember things from multiple chapters ago.

I like having the reader not knowing what Albus is doing until he does it, even though it is from his point of view. I'm picky on what thoughts of Albus's you get to see. *evil grin*

For several chapters, Albus trusted them all completely, and I realized he shouldn't trust them that fast.

The mission did go well. Every once in a while, plans do go right. Not every plan or story has to be complicated.

Yeah, the same thing is happening with the Room of Requirement; it's become too well-known, since it was used by just about everyone in the Battle of Hogwarts and all. That's going to cause some problems for Albus.

Yeah, everything that happened to Harry are just stories to Albus. To him, it seems like a long long time ago (in a galaxy far far away... Sorry, Star Wars reference).

Albus doesn't have a lot of confident, but he does have a point. That potion is HARD.

I didn't think Chapter 19 would be up this fast! I submitted it to the queue last night right before I went to bed, and I saw the email that it was validated right after I woke up this morning. So, Happy Birthday Albus!

Yeah, I don't think anybody wants to wake up from a seemingly deep sleep and find out that you've done terrible things. Not ideal...

I don't think I'm going to write a one-shot. What I really want to do is write a novel or novella about Zajecfer's childhood, but that would be massive spoilers for the Albus Potter series. So I'd have to wait on that. *sighs*

Thank you for reviewing! You always leave AWESOME reviews. :)

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