Reading Reviews for The Art of Small Talk
114 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Buttondown Clownberry A Multitude of Stilted Sentences.

7th January 2015:
*slams fist on table*

Hah. I knew it. Pewter was indeed a love rival for Tinley. Their names pretty much spelled it out. Although, who did I pair him up with in my initial prediction? Anyway, I revised that, the moment I read about Tinley coming across Pewter and Wood howling like hyenas in St Mungo's.

I enjoyed this chapter, patronus_charm. The talk between Wood and Tinley, and how the stiltedness gradually gave way to some measure of honesty, and then to laughter and forgiveness and then excessive sentimentality.

Greengrass was an interesting character to read about, and I suppose it was mildly hilarious seeing Tinley sitting in some hippie cafe sipping green tea. Nice play on Greengrass's name, making her such a hippie. Rather original portrayal of her, as well. Maybe Malfoy can loosen up a little with her; he's definitely showing a decrease in the constipatedness of his demeanour. Well, I suppose I ought to be nicer to him, because the whole wizarding world is still hurling verbal stones at him and his family. But, being nice is boring. Let Greengrass and Tinley be nice.

I'll just sit here and read on, meanwhile.

Buttondown Clownberry

Author's Response: Hi there Buttondown Clownberry!

Indeed he was, I'm quite sad that I did not intend for their names to match and that was a pure coincidence but I'm glad you appreciated it!

Aw, thank you so much, I was quite proud of the two of them for finally getting it out at in the open as they do quite dilly dallying around and aren't known for being prompto.

I know, she is rather odd and strange compared to Draco too! I'm glad that you liked her too, and Draco should definitely lighten up in her presence as you put it so nicely.

Thank you for this wonderful review! ♥


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Review #27, by Bangbongbing Crosbyish Mother, Mother, Mother, etc. etc. etc.

7th January 2015:
No, no, no, no, everything is not okay, Tinley. This is what they call 'on the rocks', and I don't mean the shots you gulp down so frequently. The increasing frequency of the blow-ups, the refusal to talk about important matters, the lack of affection - this 'ship' as it is called, is surely disintegrating mid-ocean. It's doomed. It's sinking to a watery grave.

Oh, well.

And oh, yes. Most important thing of the chapter: the maternal plot twist! Pop! Mummy comes back into the scene. I don't blame Tinley or fault her reaction one bit. Every time my parents come to visit, I pretty much shout, 'yes, yes, tea tomorrow' and shove them outside and slam the door on them. John knows all too well. So Mummy has spent her the last fourteen years recuperating in a pub, has she? Interesting.

I'm keen to read more about her, and how she'll fit herself back into the mayhem of Tinley's present life. Truly, I'm invested in your story. I suppose this is how Mrs Hudson and John feel, watching the telly every night for their favourite soap.

Bangbongbing Crosbyish

Author's Response: Whohoo for shots, they're so much fun Bangbongbing Crosbyish you should really try them out. I know that she lacks understanding at times, but as I said, let's just pity her for now because when she realises what's really been going on, she's going to be in for a not so pleasant surprise.

Bahaha, yes, last time it was Audrey thinking she might be a mummy but this time it's her own one returning. Yes, maybe you should swap mothers because then you'll never have to see yours and Audrey will get all the attention she so dearly craves and all will be happy.

Aw, that comment touches the cockles of my heart and truly made me smile so thank you for that. Yes, I imagine it certainly is how they feel!

Thanks again for this fab review! ♥


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Review #28, by Buxomblonde Crozzlesputch Awkwardness Abound

7th January 2015:
Small talk. Small talk. Small talk is the utter bane of my existence. The senseless, incessant chatter!

That lunch date between Tinley and Wood was as awkward as the neck of a man who's just tumbled down two flights of steps. Clearly, small talk is indeed a very difficult (but worthless) art, and I'd advice Tinley not to bother with it any longer. Except she seems bent on it.

Wood's outburst was amusing. Still raging over the past, I see. Well, I suppose Malfoy did poison a couple of Wood's house-mates, though sometimes you have to wonder, how some people even have the capacity to get so angry, to contain so much sentiment. Sentiment, bah! It takes up space, which can otherwise be allotted to reasoning, deduction, logic. Wood and Tinley's relationship appears to be deteriorating.

I like that you inserted Tinley into a Weasley scene. I like the banter between George and Percy Weasley, and things definitely felt less tense between Tinley and Percy for a moment. Until the arrival of that letter.

Ah, the mysterious letter. A plot twist at last.

Buxomblonde Crozzlesputch

Author's Response: I am ever so sorry, but Audrey, on the other hand, wishes to master it so we must support her in that wish.

Therefore, if it is like that, it must have been very awkward as I do not even want to imagine the amount of breaks and rips he caused within his body. Bahaha, I agree as it seems like she'll never master it.

He is, and I suppose he will continue to do so as he doesn't seem like one of those people who are very receptive to change but prefers to cling to the past instead. I suppose Malfoy did do that, but it should not cause the deterioration of Wood and Tinley's relationship.

#banter #bantz #banterbrigade ooh everyone loves a bit of bant-ta-ta especially those guy.

Whoohoo for a plot twist, sadly it does not result in a murder, I apologise. ♥

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Review #29, by Benzedrine Cockerel Bleak and Bleaker

6th January 2015:
Missed me, patronus_charm? I was away on a short excursion to tear apart the vast subterranean spider-network of yet another criminal mastermind. That, and I was writing a blog on the tensile strengths of a range of natural fibres.

Tinley has been busy as well, I see. Busy making all sorts of incorrect deductions, that is. First, about pregnancy, which thankfully doesn't apply to her. Because if she were indeed pregnant, she would be hyperventilating and half-throttling Je-mi-ma, and they would both end up accidentally Apparating, Splinching themselves in several places along the way to their unknown, unplanned destination, which will turn out to be the bathtub of a guestroom in the Leaky Cauldron. Which, naturally, will be occupied by a guest, who will turn out to be a very cramped Hagrid. Right.

Aha! The dirt has been dished on Wood. Can't say that I didn't expect this; he always has been a shady character, and I'm not referring to a tree. Clearly, high school grudges just never die, and instead carry over to inflict their torment on adult life. I do hope Tinley picks herself up and gets on with her life. I imagine she doesn't have a lot of options at the moment; her relationships are so unpredictable and drama-infested.

Grey feathers are found it upon it though donít bother even asking me what species it is as I have no clue.

^ That, Tinley, is a Great Grey Owl, also known as Strix nebulosa. And the mysterious letter? Obviously, it was sent by her great-grandstepson from the future. That, or it was Percy Weasley.

I shall read on.

Benzedrine Cockerel

Author's Response: I did indeed as I was growing quite used to your presence and was unsure what to do without it!

Indeed she has, bahaha, her deductions are never the best ones especially so when she is in a hungover state and running around. We must pity her is all I can say. I do think you are quite correct in that assertion about the splinching and throttling Jemima as Je-mi-ma is far too happy in serious situations.

I think his name leads to a natural inclination to have dirt following him around in both senses. High school grudges will never fade, John can surely support that statement as he must have plenty.

Neither she nor I had any idea about that so thank you, I suspect her great-grandstepson from the future, it is the much more obvious choice!

Thank you for this fab review! ♥

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Review #30, by Bahhumbug Christmascrank April Fool's

25th December 2014:
To sum up: yes, this chapter was pleasing.

I see you've been juggling ships in this chapter: Draco/Astoria, George/Angelina, Weasley/Tinley/Wood. I know how this is going to turn out: some buffoon is going to get his hands on a timeturner and muck up the space-time continuum and the end result will be happily ever after for the following ships: Draco/George, Percy/Astoria, Oliver/the whole of the Holyhead Harpies, and Tinley/Firewhiskey.

I think I enjoyed the George/Angelina here. I paid particularly close attention to Angelina's way of banishing the grating presence of her one-eared, idiot boyfriend by shoving him into the fireplace and Floo-ing him off. I must try this tactic the next time Mycroft pays me a visit, except of course I'd send Mycroft to some barren alpine wasteland in Nepal where he can enchant water and be a gluten free vegan. I've never seen the point of gluten-free vegans.

So Tinley has made off with Wood now, has she. RE-VENGE. Interesting motive.

As for me, I'm currently shipping myself with my nicotine patches. Less drama.

Excellent read, patronus_charm!

Bahhumbug Christmascrank

Author's Response: Hello Bahhumbug Christmasscrank!

Yes, there were an awful lot of ships and romance going on in this chapter and I hope you could handle all these outward displays of love and emotion. Bahahaha, if someone did do that I would love it so much and I especially love the fact that you paired Audrey with firewhiskey, as I'm sure she'll probably be just as happy with as with a man.

I think you should definitely copy that tactic as it is very clever and could get rid of multiple enemies for you as you could simply vanish them off to any area of the world and they would be gone for aeons and what could be better than that?

She has, and she really should stop doing things for revenge as it never turns out.

I will support that ship as it does sound very cute! ♥

Thanks for another awesome review, Bahhumbug! :D


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Review #31, by Bandicoot Corncobus One Bombshell, Two Bombshell, Three Bombshell, Four.

23rd December 2014:
Hello again, patronus_charm! Pewter is gay. My surprise is enormous. Now Tinley can have a gay best friend, and they can both exchange fantasies about Wood. Pewter and Tinley. Has a nice - ring - to it, don't you think? I suspect the hospital will be thrown into uproar, as everyone there of the female, heterosexual persuasion will be voicing their dismay at St Mungo's Former Most Eligible Bachelor.

And Tinley is going the extra length to scrub a mark of a skull vomiting out a live snake from Malfoy's arm. She has a sense of empathy that I'll never have or want. In fact, I was thinking, if I were Tinley, I'd just solve Malfoy's tattoo troubles by amputating his arm. Malfoy is rather docile in this chapter, hmm? I'd like to see just what sort of character this Greengrass is.

Clearwater has a habit of cropping up everywhere in a rather unwelcome manner, not unlike a cluster of cancerous cells. There she goes, spewing her venom again. And Weasley's appearance was rather interesting. Tiinley seems surprised to see this new side of Weasley - or at least a slippage of his bossy, turgid facade.

As always, any scene with your scheming triumvirate of matchmakers are amusing to read. Out of the three of them, I like Je-mi-ma's approach the best: no need for all this taking it slow business, rush them into it.

Great chapter; see you in the next instalment of Tinley's distracted, bumbling inner world.

Bandicoor Corncobus

Author's Response: Hello Bandicoor Corncobus!

Bahaha, yes, they can! I never thought about them being gay best friends but I feel as if I should write that into the story as it would be so great and funny. There will definitely be uproar, but then I think they'll all be clamouring to claim him as their gay best friend too.

I know, she is a great friend, though I'm sure you have other qualities which are just as great as having empathy. I think amputating them is rather extreme, especially given that as he is a potioneer it would mean he wouldn't be able to do much work. Greengrass is an interesting character shall we say!

She does, but don't worry like cancerous cells she will see an end though how soon the end will come is another thing. Weasley is just a very interesting character indeed, who does not love him for that.

Bahahah, yes, Jemima's approach is perhaps the most effective as one does get to the point a lot more quickly her way!

Thank you for another wonderful review, Bandicoor! :D


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Review #32, by Buffalo Custardbath Papa-Paparazzi

22nd December 2014:
Clearwater is up to murder, that's what. I propose that you rename her Murkywater in the chapters to come. And Wood is most certainly not what he seems. One would imagine Wood to be solid and impassive and fairly thick; I think Sneak is a more appropriate name for him. He's manipulating the press, feeding the paparazzi in a very specific way. All the kissing manoeuvres between Wood and Tinley were very well-engineered: allow me to quote my favourite line.

I feel his lips smash against my own, and Iím not too ashamed to say that I respond accordingly.

Lip-mashing, is there? Mash and blend a little longer, Tinley, and you'll have cooked up sticky lip jam and you and and Wood will be attached at the jaw for all eternity while the paparazzi blind you with their cameras.

Ah, Clearwater and Weasley are having a moment of drama now, are they? Clearly (pun inevitable, really), Clearwater is pregnant with triplets and Wood is the biological father, except Wood is a crappy prospective father, so she's trying to uh, reconnect with Weasley. And live happily ever after, I expect. My deductions are never wrong, by the way. I am becoming more and more invested with your depiction of Weasley. There's something enigmatic about him; the others dismiss him as a boring old fart, which he is, but there's also something unknown about him. He never stays long in any scene. I look forward to Tinley and Weasley's next confrontation. I can imagine it will be far from pleasant, given that Weasley just walked in on Wood and her lipjamming.

Malfoy going to tea with three older ladies is an amusing scene to imagine. Think of it: three of them gossiping over his head, absently straightening his robes and treating him like a baby as they matchmake him. Not such a fearsome Death Eater anymore. It was very interesting that Verity stood up for him and sparked a bit of a political moment.

The first victim has yet to be murdered, but I'm waiting and keeping a hawk-eye on these characters.

Buffalo Custardbath

Author's Response: Hello Buffalo Custardbath!

I think the new name you suggested is very apt, and I may certainly go ahead with it as she does need something which relates to her sneaky nature! Bahaha, I would think back to the original nature of wood when it comes to Oliver Wood, as though he does seem quite cunning here, he's more naive and does what he pleases rather than out for malicious intent.

Yes, yes, not the best description but Tinley does lack poetic qualities in her descriptions! Plus, what you describe does not sound pleasant in the slightest so I shall warn her to heed caution when it comes to Wood.

Yes, they are, they are all about the drama after all! Bahahaha, I am loving the pun and your humour is faultess as usual. Oooh, I never thought you would be one to dabble in theories and ideas such as that as I would have thought they would be too infantile for your liking, but I'm glad to see that you are changing, Buffalo! Bahahaha, lipjamming *dies of laughter* I don't think I can ever recover from that description as it's far too funny. :P

Yes, it's all about what sort of publicity you get, though it would damage his street cred and the others might be presumed to be coogars, it would help with his rehabilitation significantly so they should be applauded for their efforts.

As for the murder you might have to wait a while for that! Thanks for a marvellous review though! :D


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Review #33, by Butlerdidit Cluedocrap Quidditch Confrotations

22nd December 2014:
Publicity stunt. What did I tell you? I told you so, that's what!

Oh hello, patronus_charm, in case you've forgotten who I am, I'm supposed to be -- some sort of gift-bearing ho-ho-ho-ing cookie-devouring chimney-crawling yokelish Yuletide figure.

I rather enjoyed the little gossiping hen segment with Verity, Je-mi-ma and Tinley. And so Tinley plans to do some matchmaking herself, does she? Meddlesome girl. Of course, I already know who Je-mi-ma will set Malfoy up with. It's Eileen, or I'll eat my overcoat.

I'm almost feeling sorry for Malfoy, which is a feeling that is very, very wrong, given that I'm a high-functioning sociopath and humanity is beneath me. But I do enjoy the developing relationship between Tinley and Malfoy. Tinley is a mentor figure to him, a very meddlesome matchmaking mentor figure.

Clearwater showed up at the Quidditch match. My calculations were accurate, naturally. Naturally there was a bit of a catfight, though I think it was rather humorous and a little refreshing to have this squabble take place in front of George and Angelina. George's restraint on taking sides during the match is funny. Puerile but funny. Well, if I were in his position and I did not wish to damage the delicate dispositions of either his mate or his sister, I'd cheer for the Bludgers.

And there we have it: The Kiss. The Publicity Stunt. Tinley's going to be big in the news. Tinley's going to be possibly vilified because she recently appeared in a Daily Owl photograph, leeching on to one Percy Weasle. Ooh, the mess, the drama! Let it stew! Let it fester!

Excellent chapter, patronus_charm! I'm pleased.

Butlerdidit Cluedocrap

Author's Response: Bahaha, I'm not too sure about that! I could never forget you either Butlerdidit Cluedocrap as you're too awesome for that!

Yayyaya for gossiping, as everyone loves a bit of that as it does reveal the true nature of a lot of people which is cool. She does indeed, though I'm not too sure about Malfoy being set up with Eileen as she's trying to make him a nicer person and I don't think being with Eileen will help wiht that.

You should feel sorry for him, reach into the depths of your heart and pull out that emotion as he deserves it. I'm glad you are enjoying Tinley and Malfoy's relationship even though she perhaps isn't the best mentor given how cray cray she is!

She did, she did, indeed, as your calculations are always without fault. I'm very glad you enjoyed the squabble as it was a lot of fun to write as it reminded me of my sister and myself, so it was fun to evoke those memories. Cheering for the bludges does actually sound like an excellent plan and I must mention it to him next time I see him.

Okay, I can see why you would think it was a publicity stunt, but I'm not too sure if that was what Wood intended it to be as I personally believe he was so excited by the match this was his way of expressing his emotions. The drama will certainly fester on and create even more of it!

Thanks for another amazingly awesome review! ♥


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Review #34, by Bandersnatch Calloohcallay An Interlude of Fame

22nd December 2014:
Ah, something unsavoury about Wood, is there. I knew it. I knew it the instant he popped into the story. And now let me deduce: Wood is up to some publicity stunt. Either that or he's secretly an alien from the planet Tralfamador and he's on a mission to kidnap humans to fill out their human enclosure in the Tralfamadorian zoo, a la Vonnegut style.

Further deduction: Tinley is going to assist Malfoy in scrubbing that silly mark off his arm using some home-made, possibly illegal concoction. The amount of fuss that the wizarding world puts into a silly tattoo is laughable. But I must say I enjoy reading your Malfoy. Very fresh, quite a change from the usual smirking git, or the haunted ex-Death Eater seeing dead people all the time. Honestly, Malfoy's catchphrase should be 'I see dead people', and he should have a starring role in M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense.

What am I talking about?

Ah, Tinley. Weasley is halfway decent, I must say, taking the trouble to visit her residence to hand-deliver a warning to her. A rather ineffectual one, though. Why does Weasley care so much? Clearly, he harbours repressed desires for her. Perhaps her intoxicated side made him realise what a turgid, pompous buffoon he is, and now he's being socially awkward and trying to gain her favour in his buffoonish ways.

I do not think I've ever complimented you on Tinley's voice. Well, I'm honest. I shan't hold back this compliment any longer: I do enjoy Tinley's voice very much, her sense of humous, all the clutter of her thoughts. It makes brilliant accompaniment with this violin concerto I'm playing. And Tinley's family relationships are positively endearing.

I suppose I should thank you for such an entertaining chapter. Well, thank you. There you go.

Bandersnatch Callohcallay

Author's Response: Hello Bandersnatch Callohcallay!

Yes, there is something a little suspicious but I wouldn't hate on him just yet as there is a lot more to be revealed which may change your perception of him so just hold out for a bit. (also, I'm not sure Wood is an alien, I know he is a bit strange but you may need to re-think this idea :P).

The further deduction is certainly correct as Audrey is all for things illegal as that's her jam! I know, tattoos are just marks so they do need to calm down on the hype about them just a wee bit! Yay for Malfoy, I am liking the catchphrase though as it is very catchy (lol, terrible pun/joke/thing!) and I am sure he would love to be an actor too!

I do not know as I cannot read your mind sadly!

Yes, Weasley is a peculiar being but a very caring one too so we must applaud him for that characteristic as it is a very charming one to have. As for repressed desires, they certainly are as I'm not even sure if his mind is aware of the feelings he holds for her just yet.

I do not think you have either but I am glad that you do like as I thought it would be a little too messy and incomprehensible for you but that means great things for me, but you would make a fine duo I must say.

Thank you for a positively enchanting review! ♥


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Review #35, by Bentobox Carrotmash An Exit with Oliver

21st December 2014:
Yes, yes, yes. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. I personally prefer, 'Bah, humbug.'

You doubted my return, didn't you, patronus_charm?

Hello again, Tinley. This is my updated deduction of her character: orange hair on her robes - probably owns a cat, is probably one of those 'crazy cat ladies' as they so love to dub themselves on social media websites. And her cat's name probably begins with an A, in a sentimental gesture of solidarity with Tinley's own first name ('Audrey'). Long, messy hair? Tinley is probably trying to emulate a Greek goddess, so I'm going to guess she named her cat 'Athena'. Though I am fairly certain that the Greek goddess Athena was never portrayed cat hair. Tinley likes to sleep? That's because she's secretly an addict to Sleeping Potions. Takes one to know one, Tinley.

This James Pewter. Aha. He is gay, isn't he? Yes, he is. He is going to be a potential love rival for Tinley, as I'm fairly sure he'll be hitting on Percy Weasley the second he sets eyes on him. That will happen in precisely one and a half chapters. I sense some ugly rivalry between Pewter and Tinley.

After all, Pewter? And Tinley? I saw through that right away. And of course, you added Wood to this...interesting mixture of elements/compounds/metals. Wood and Tin and Pewter? I know exactly what you're doing, patronus_charm. This is a plot. A dastardly and evil plot.

OK, Oliver Wood and Percy Weasley aren't the best of friends, eh? Tinley and Wood - I like the sound of this. I suspect Weasley stomped off in a downright jealous and unbelievably trivial sulk.

Excellent plotting! Life is such a soap opera. And soap operas have the most murderous plots of all.

Bentobox Carrotmash

Author's Response: Hello Bentobox Carrotmash, I never did doubt your return as you are always omnipresent so it would be impossible to do so!

Tinley says hello back! And she always says she is a crazy cat lady but one who is very proud of being one so you should shut your face (she also says sorry for her rudeness but she loves her cat a lot and cannot help it). You are certainly true that her cat is called Athena, but the orange cat haired Athena is Audrey's own invention and I'm not sure to what extent I support it. She certainly does but sleep is perhaps the most wonderful creation in the entire world so I do not blame him!

Ooh ooh ooh, perhaps he is, perhaps he isn't you shall have to say. But a potential love rival is another question because I am inclined to support this line of argument but I shall not give any hints out in regards to the conclusion.

Yes, it may be a plot indeed but an accidental I should state as this correlation in the names was something I had not yet noticed until you pointed it out, so thank you very much for telling me about it.

Of course not, this is another love rival and they shall have to fight it out in a battle of logic!

Thanks for another fantabulous review! ♥


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Review #36, by Brandyduck Cankersore The Morning After the Night Before

20th December 2014:
Well, hello again. I gave you my word I'd be back, didn't I?

So. Tinley, Tinley, Tinley. Just what have you got yourself into? Well, from the evidence of Tinley's feelings and how 'unanchored' she feels, her sudden unappeasable appetite for grease, also known as the melted and cooked lipids of animals, along with her general sense of being pushed on a child's swing...I have come to the conclusion that she has ingested the sap of a rare and poisonous plant of the genus Intoxicus.

Ah, I adore Jemima and Verity. Jemima more, though, just because I can throw up my window and holler down at Baker Street, "JE-MI-MA, COOOEEE!" Je-mi-ma Je-mi-ma. Has a lovely ring to it. Verity and her sound rather lovely as well, being completely unread in the fine art of sarcasm.

Ah, Penelope Clearwater. That woman is venomous. Tinley should be wary, though I have this nagging suspicion that Tinley can hold her own and that these two will inevitably meet again. Their fates are crossed, you might say. I am rather keen to find out just what Tinley was doing with Percy last night after imbibing one too many.

I find Tinley's living arrangements most interesting. Granny Lucy and her inherent madness reminds me of Mrs Hudson. And her shy retiring dad reminds me...why, Watson himself. I love this little madcap family. These days, families are too normal, too sane, too busy celebrating...Christmas or whatever festive occasion that happens to be passing outside my window right now. Bah, humbug.

Draco is no longer the despicable Death Eater? I still am watching him with narrowed eyes. Perhaps his obliging exterior conceals a dark secret? A murderous intention? A motive? Well, well, Mr Malfoy, mark my words, I'll break you open.

In conclusion: a brilliant chapter. Consider this story my daily nicotine fix. Every chapter is like a nicotine patch to me. It goes without saying that I will be returning soon.

Brandyduck Cankersore

Author's Response: Hey Brandyduck Cankersore, thanks for another fantabulous review!

I know, she really does need to put me effort into avoiding trouble as it would make her life a lot easier and a lot more pleasant too, but alas we cannot all be perfect. Though I do have to say the amount of grease she consumed is giving her even more troubles, though this time health related one.

Thank you so much for expressing warm emotions towards those two as I am a great fan of them too. Oooh, that would be rather fun to see and to listen too, so I do think you should do it as I'm sure Jemima would appreciate it a lot too.

I know, she is the vilest of the vile, almost as bad as Mycroft which is saying something! These two will definitely meet again though not in the star crossed lovers sense but more in the enemies drawn wands!

Most interesting is perhaps a very apt description of them but I expect no less from a great mastermind such as yourself. There little mannerisms and quirks is what makes them all the more interesting I do dare say.

No, definitely not a Death Eater but he is working on the despicable aspects of his character so I would continue to watch him with narrowed eyes.

Thank you again for an awesomesauce review which made my Christmas all the more festive! ♥


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Review #37, by Bend-a-leg Cocklescratch Introductory Measures

19th December 2014:
Seasons greetings, patronus_charm! It is I, your Secret Santa, also known as the greatest detective the world has ever seen, here to unravel a plot or two and I'm willing to wager Mrs Hudson's prized teapot that you'll have the murderer behind bars by the end of the day.

A nice murder or two is the ideal way to wind down for Christmas, I daresay.

Ah, this Audrey Tinley. Female, twenty-four years old, Caucasian, single, Potioneer, is she? Probably eats the periodic table of elements for breakfast, and by this, I mean the chart. Ah, clever. Very clever, patronus_charm. I did not miss the clue at all; it was pretty obvious. I'm referring to the story summary where you surreptitiously snuck in the cryptic phrase, 'Percy/Audrey'. You used italics! Clever. Italics indicate secrecy and trickery, but I am on your trail, of course. So Tinley is going to be the perpetrator of this forbidden romance, which will inevitably end up in a gruesome murder.

I do find your Audrey Tinley...amusing. Her mannerisms, her figures of speech, her musings that occasionally hammer on the fourth wall. I find this Potioneer job of hers utterly mundane, but all jobs apart from mind-palacing and solving murders fall into the category of mundane and soul-destroying, anyway.

This Eileen is suspicious. Who on earth even utters phrases such as, 'We've got to pip pop poppety rock'. Very fishy, indeed. I know a psychopath when I hear one speak, and Eileen is certainly one. Now all we need to do is catch her red-handed.

Verity is a little firebrand, isn't she? Though if I were her, I wouldn't curse the German Minister of International Co-operation and his ancestors back to the eighteenth generation. What a sheer waste of energy. I'd prefer to curse the hapless man's eighteen generations to come. There's a particular curse known as scabious loinpox, which I must recommend to Miss Tinley if I ever do get the chance to fall into the same story as her.

Ah, the party at Weasley Wizard Wheezes. I never understood parties other than them being socially-awkward gatherings of pathetic excuses of human beings hoping to achieve various stages of intoxication in order to muster enough courage to ask someone out. Trivial.

And I approve of Audrey's predisposition for the truth rather than beating about the push with all that niceties and small talk. Small talk is an art? Indeed. Small talk is glorified. Small talk has become the pinnacle of western civilization. And what Audrey did to this Percy Weasley is something I would have done as well. Keep all these tampering cupids away from me and allow me to remain a friendless high-functioning sociopathic canker. With a clear mind.

I must admit, grudgingly, that I did enjoy reading this first chapter of a story full of insignificant people. Who knew that insignificance could be so interesting?

I shall be back!

Bend-a-leg Cocklescratch

Author's Response: Ahahah, thank you so much for all these wonderful presents, Benedrick, they have made my Christmas perfect and I can't thank you enough for them!

Bahaha, you are onto Audrey then and it's quite cunning how much you've already deducted about her so go you! As for her eating the periodic table, that may be a secret guilty pleasure of hers but I have heard it is very nutritious so it's quite a good thing that she does eat it! Hmm, hmm, hmmm, I suppose the grammar I use does play a part in unravelling the mystery...

I'm glad you find Audrey amusing though as she is rather fun to write. I wouldn't go as far as to say her job was mundane because the more you read on, you might find that your view has changed quite a bit.

Omg, you're onto Eileen! You're the only person to have suspected her so far and I do have to say it's probably a very good thing that you do suspect her of something as you shall see later on!

That is quite true, and quite a risk taker too as who knows what this could mean for the German Minister of International Co-operation but we shall have to see later on. Cursing future generations is probably a better idea but I believe the Chinese prefer attacking the former relatives.

Parties are great fun and I think you should try them out more often. The one time I saw you drunk it left me in hysterics, so maybe we should go out partying again together and I could make you like it.

Small talk is glorified, if only Audrey could realise that rather than saying whatever thought is passing through her mind at that moment in time. Yayayay for shouting out Percy Weasley as he certainly does deserve it.

Why thank you very much Bend-a-leg Cocklescratch that means a great deal to me! :D


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Review #38, by BellaLestrange87 Awkwardness Abound

18th September 2014:
Oliver's back? Maybe he's explaining why he stormed out. He certainly didn't when he left.

*laughs at Audrey's explanation about how to lie*

Repeated sentence - "Phew, problem number one solved, I have gotten rid of Draco so I can proceed to deal with number two and three without interruption."

If she's still referring to Oliver as her boyfriend why is she trying to avoid him?

*laughs at her fantasy for what'll happen if she goes to see him*

Oliver doesn't seem to know that water is supposed to be swallowed. Or maybe Audrey should wait until he's swallowed it to pop surprising news on him.

Wow. Oliver really doesn't like Draco. Did he just break up with Audrey?

What could George possibly have done that he would need an alibi for? Wow he's blunt. Considering this is a Percy/Audrey fic maybe his mention of them doing... things is foreshadowing?

CLIFFHANGER. I now need to know what is in that letter.

Good chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again Olivia!

Oliver is back but as for the explanation that will come in a little while.

Haha, Audrey should write some how-to books as she's such a pro at teaching.

Thanks for pointing that out, I'll fix that!

Audrey is very confused emotionally hence the confusion in references so I wouldn't pay too much attention in what she calls others :P

Hahaha, Oliver is a little dim at times so don't worry too much. He really doesn't like him but then you can sort of understand given everything Draco put him and his friends it's naturally he'll have anti-Draco feelings. And no, it's not quite the break up for them yet.

George is up to all sorts of things so it's a matter of waiting and seeing really! Is it foreshadowing or isn't it? Hmmm, wait and see!

Thanks for the review :D


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Review #39, by BellaLestrange87 The Morning After the Night Before

15th September 2014:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle!

I'm back, and I enjoyed this chapter just as much as I did the first one.

Poor Audrey. Although, considering how many parties she's says she's been to, she should probably know better. Why wouldn't she just Apparate straight home? It would make sense: she'd have avoided Penelope.

Speaking of Penelope, she appears to be a real snob. Surely she was nicer to Percy than she is to Audrey? I can't envision Percy as the type to go for somebody rude and prickly. (Is that the right word?)

The Daily Owl seems to be a more accepted version of the Quibbler. Percy Weasley is the most eligible bachelor in the country? I honestly wasn't expecting that.

"A mother's touch is always needed so you were practically an orphan, dear." That is one honest grandmother. Is that a demonstration of her respect for her son-in-law or was Audrey's dad a bad parent?

Audrey's description of her room made me laugh. A Christmas tree in July? It would make for a great tour.

I have only one bit of CC: Draco does seem slightly OOC, unless he has changed since DH or he has some respect for Audrey (which he appears to, given his agreeing to her comment about Eileen. In that case, you can ignore this paragraph. Pre-DH I don't think he would be asking anybody if they were alright (unless they were a Slytherin, I suppose.)

"Itís a difficult one to make and administer as the ratios of ingredients must be exact otherwise instead of stopping the rate of the heart beat which is what it is intended to do, it will instead stop the heart completely." Isn't stopping the rate of the heart beat the same as stopping the heart?

Overall, this was a great second chapter, and I can't wait to see how Audrey's friends get her and Percy together.


Author's Response: Hi Olivia, thanks for another fab review :D

Yes, she probably should have done so but I guess you can always have one too many drinks and end up in awkward situations like she was in. As for avoiding Penelope, I think Audrey must have been a little too hung-over to think about things like that.

Yes, she is a real snob and a horrible one at that so I can see what you mean about Percy, but those two will be explored more throughout the story, so don't worry.

Haha, Percy is hot stuff how could you not know that? If you live in the UK, I envisaged it to be like The Daily Mail if that helps you at all :P

Yes, she is very honest and blunt and perhaps a lover of the truth a little too much, it's a demonstration of respect as she is a fan of Audrey's dad.

Haha, everyone loves Christmas trees even if it is July! :P

Yes, I know what you mean about Draco and he does calm down in the later chapters I just had a few teething problems with him in the beginning ones, but hopefully it straightens out later on.

Yes, it is and I'll edit it asap, thanks for pointing it out!

Thanks for a great review :D


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Review #40, by BellaLestrange87 Introductory Measures

13th September 2014:
This is for the Blue vs. Bronze review battle!

Aaaand I'm hooked. I love the way you started the story. Not many people would have word #1 a swear word, but it worked. I wanted to find out why the first word was a swear word, and then you sucked me in.

Is that Draco Malfoy? Draco isn't exactly a common name, and this guy is blond. Dyed hair? I knew hair couldn't be that white without some form of modification.

Short person syndrome? That made me laugh. I'm five foot three (hopefully I get taller) and one of my male friends says I'm vertically challenged. Considering he's 6'2 at least, my consolation thought is that I'm only vertically challenged compared to him.

"A woman, or a man for that matter, does not need to have a partner to be content. Us singletons are united in our aim of enjoying being single without having people constantly meddle in it and have it messed up and make us tied into a relationship where we are forced to ponder what to buy our other half for Christmas, whether they love us and make an attempt at looking nice. We live in the twenty-first century, Verity; I do not need a man." Cough cough my friends cough. Can I use this against them next time they bring out the 'you need a boyfriend' line?

I love the way you use humour. The line about the scowl... hehehe. I see Percy is as pompous as usual. It will be interesting to see how he and Audrey get along after she left him for being rude.

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi Olivia!

Yya thank you so much, bahaha, yes I know it was a bit risque doing it but I thought it would definitely capture your attention so I'm glad that it did work for you.

Yes, it is and perhaps with dyed hair because I always imagined him being a person who went grey early on :P

Hahaha, yes, I couldn't help but include it because even though I'm 5'5 my family are all over 5'9 so I'm the midget so I made sure that Audrey would suffer the same fate :P Haha, being vertically challenged is secretly great, right?

Yes, you definitely can, and I'm so glad that you like it! :D

Hahaha, Percy is very pompous right now and prone to scowling too, so I hope you like how those two end up together because I can see why it would seem unlikely right now.

Thanks for a great review! :D


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Review #41, by nott theodore A Multitude of Stilted Sentences.

13th September 2014:
Hey Kiana!

Ah, so I missed your status about this being updated so it's a good thing I was going through the recently added pages and got to see this! I've missed reading from Audrey's point of view and it was great to get back into reading this story!

Oh dear, Audrey's language when she's stressed gets rather bad :P I can just imagine her Granny telling her off if she ever heard what Audrey's internal monologue is like! Although I can understand why she was so nervous as the situation with Oliver has been rather awkward recently, even if they parted the last chapter on good terms. Still, 'we need to talk' is never really a good thing to hear, although I was kind of glad to read it because I'm excited for the prospect of Audrey and Percy getting together and that can't happen while Oliver and Audrey are together (although I guess it kind of could but it shouldn't and yes I'm rambling...)

I thought you did a great job of writing their initial meeting (also the comments about the Londoners and the sun in April made me laugh so much, because it's so true for everywhere in Britain :P) and how awkward they were and Audrey makes me laugh a lot. And then ooh, plot twist! I thought James and Oliver did get on unexpectedly well but hadn't made the connection that Oliver was bisexual and falling for James, which is kind of cute in a way! (Like Audrey said, haha.) Now I see why you said that Oliver and James would both have mroe of a role in the story and I can actually picture them both together even though it'll be a bit weird for Audrey to see them together as Oliver's her ex and she used to fancy James quite a bit. I am glad that Oliver told Audrey though instead of leading her on and stuff, and that he trusts her enough to be able to do that.

Oliver being bisexual is also something I've never seen in any fanfiction story before so that was really original! And the fact that he was in love with Percy! That's just brilliant, you have no idea how much that idea made me smile because so many people don't even seem to pick up on the fact they're in the same year at school. But that was a really stupid plan to get Percy to like and notice him, by cheating on him with his girlfriend! Silly Oliver!

I really loved reading about Audrey telling Draco about the potion that she'd made for him, because it was such a touching scene. It was cute to see how much he paid attention to her and her ridiculously elaborate cover story, but then to find out what she'd actually made it for as well as it's a really sweet thing to do. I like the idea of Audrey being someone who's into social change and equality a lot, and I'm glad that Draco accepted it! Although you've also got me a little bit worried that the potion's not going to work and it's going to harm Draco really badly, especially as Audrey's not even sure if it's actually legal... I feel like if something goes wrong, there could be some extremely serious consequences! (And then maybe Percy will ride to the rescue and help her out? :P)

The final section with Astoria was brilliant, as I've never seen Astoria written like this before and it's so different to how I normally imagine her. I loved all of her talk about Audrey's aura being clouded and the idea for hypnosis and the Green Boot cafe, as they were all so fun to read about and made Astoria seem very real in this story. Plus it was hilarious to read about Audrey being threatened with hypnosis - I think my reactions would have been similar to hers!

Even though Astoria's methods did seem a little strange, they did work and it was good for Audrey to have someone outside of her family and everything else that's going on in her life to talk to about what's happening with her mum. I think it was great that she was able to think about what she felt towards her and why she felt those things as well, because a lot of people wouldn't do that and it's got to help, so well done to Astoria for making her think more! And then I'm optimistic for Audrey too as far as her mum's concerned as now she realises how she feels and why, she might be able to forgive her and get some sort of relationship with her, which I think would really help.

This was another great chapter, Kiana - I'm really loving this story! ♥

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian! Don't worry about missing it, I've only just got round to answering all my reviews so I know what it's like :P

Yes, her granny would definitely have quite a lot to say about the amount of expletives she uses, but I guess that's just Audrey's character to get all shouty and use a lot of swear words :P Haha, it's fine as I really wanted Oliver and Audrey to end when I was writing this as we really need some Audrey and Percy time. I think whilst Oliver and Audrey did have fun together, he just wasn't as interested in saving people and making lives better as Audrey and Percy are hence why they never really worked.

Yay for the London sun, we really are so keen when it comes to summer but I guess as it never tends to appear for more than a week we just have to grab when it comes! Yes, a plot twist :P *cackles in the corner* This was a rather random one I have to admit compared some which will come later on but I think the NaNo madness did help a lot when it came to coming up with how on earth could I break Audrey and Percy up! I think Audrey's one of the few people who could just accept that her boyfriend is bi and loves her colleague, but again, that's just Audrey, and those two will definitely feature a lot more in the story!

I'm glad that you liked it because I think I've seen a few gay Olivers from time to time and of course there's always straight Oliver, so I thought why not mix it up and have a bi Oliver too :p Yes, Oliver was a bit stupid and, again, this whole Oliver plotline is one of the crazier ones of the story but it was quite funny to imagine that someone could like Percy enough to do that :P

I'm so glad that you liked that because even though this is an Audrey/Percy story, I think Audrey and Draco's relationship has been one of my favourites of the entire story. Of course she had to have an elaborate cover story, nothing with her is ever simple! Erm, what was that about it going wrong... Hmmm, the potion will be explored in the next few chapters and you are right about it not being plain sailing and Percy will have something to do with it but more than that is saying too much :P

Hahaha, yeah, I went a bit crazy with Astoria in this story but I guess as all the characters are a bit mad, I thought let's make Astoria crazy too! Astoria is very strange and crazy I have to say, but you are right that she did need someone like Astoria to talk to about her mum because then there would be less judging. Audrey and her mum still have a lot of issues to deal with and lot of things to go through before they can ever be normal, but this is definitely one of the first steps to getting there!

Thanks for an amazing review, Sian and sorry for taking ages to get to it! ♥


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Review #42, by nott theodore Mother, Mother, Mother, etc. etc. etc.

6th August 2014:

Okay, I'm excited that I'm actually finally all caught up which means for the first time in like forever I can read your stories as you post, and guess what? FIRST REVIEW! :D

Ooh, I definitely wasn't expecting that Audrey's mum would turn up completely out of the blue (I probably should have read the chapter titles before I started going through all of the chapters and then I might have been able to guess... then again, the cliffhanger wouldn't have had such a big impact) and it was quite dramatic!

I thought that you wrote Audrey's reactions to the news really well. There were so many different emotions layered in there and it was really difficult for her to suddenly confront her mum who almost seems like a ghost from her past because she's taken so long to get back in touch again. There was anger there because Audrey felt like her Granny had just forgiven her, but then a lot of hurt as well and I think in a way she was lashing out because she didn't want to get hurt again and she was trying to protect herself from it. I thought her mum's explanation for why she left was interesting though, and even though for the damage it's done to Audrey it can't really be acceptable to leave, I think it helps to explain it a bit because she went through a really traumatic experience.

The scene with Draco was probably my favourite one in this chapter. I felt so sorry for Audrey because really she has loads to deal with right now and I can understand that she'd want to try and work through all of her problems and she doesn't really want distractions when she's doing that. Draco was really cute when he was asking her if he'd done something wrong, though! He must have thought that Audrey had changed her mind and was going to start treating him like other people did and that would have been awful. But I'm so glad that she did actually talk one of her problems through with him and it was really interesting to see his views on forgiveness, because I think you actually got them spot on and so in character. It makes a lot of sense and I wonder if Oliver heard the conversation whether he'd have a different view on him. I hope that Audrey will be able to spend some time with her mum though and maybe they can create some kind of relationship and she can maybe forgive her eventually.

The scene with Oliver was really interesting too, and even though Audrey's been a bit more subdued in this chapter with her humourous inner monologue (with the exception of the annoyance that her cat hasn't decided her life for her) and I liked seeing something a bit lighter-hearted - the tale of the crazy stalker made me laugh a lot! With everything that is going wrong in her life right now I suppose it might be easier if at the moment she patches things up with Oliver, but to be honest I kind of feel like they need to do a lot more talking. Maybe it's just because I know that they're wrong together and that eventually she'll be with Percy, so I'm rooting for him :P But it is good for her to have stopped arguing with Oliver for now, even if she's already being pessimistic about their future together!

This was a lovely chapter and I really enjoyed getting to learn more about Audrey's life and some of the more serious parts of it, because there are lots of difficult decisions for her to make right now. But I've loved seeing the way that Audrey's character develops up to this point and I'm looking forward to the next chapter too! (I'm far too excited to say that now that I've actually caught up!)

I love this story! ♥

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian, I'm so so sorry for taking aeons to get to this but here I am!

Bahaha, it's fine but I'm glad you liked the drama as it just makes the story so much more interesting when you include it!

I'm really glad that you liked how she reacted to her mum because fortunately for me I have never experienced anything like this so I was sort of making it up as I went along in a way but I can imagine it must have been horrible for her. I guess it's sort of why she's so out there as a character as she needs to be loud and funny and crazy so to block out all of those horrible things which have happened to her during her life. And sorry for sort of rambling away about this, I just really love writing this aspect of Audrey!

Aw, yay for Draco love as he is such a cutey a lot of the time! I feel quite sorry for him as he must be so unsure of everything that he even has to start questioning whether Audrey likes him or not which must suck a lot. Haha, they are like each other's therapists when you put it like that which is a rather strange thought because Draco Malfoy and caring don't really go together a lot of the time.

Bahahah, yay for crazy stalkers everyone's gotta love them! They definitely need to do a lot of talking as there are so many unresolved issues with the two of them they just need to get everything out and say it and then hopefully everything will be okay again. Or not, as I'm rooting for Percy too so it's fine if she breaks up with oliver!

I'm glad that you liked the serious parts too, as those will be explored more in the story as it does quite a serious turn from here on which is a fun change to write about.

Thanks for an amazing review, Sian!


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Review #43, by nott theodore Awkwardness Abound

6th August 2014:
Hi again, Kiana!

Oh wow, this was a really great chapter because there really was a lot that started to happen here and I'm so excited now to read the next chapter, although I'm a little bit apprehensive too, to be honest!

Okay, so my opinion of Oliver in this story is steadily getting worse because it's just not okay for him to not see Audrey for a week after leaving her like he did. I don't really blame her for putting off going to see him in the staff room and doing all those other things instead because it definitely was really awkward between the two of them! Draco seems really sweet in that scene though, and I was happy when he said that his date with Astoria went well! At least somebody's love life seems to be working out, and the girls do seem like good matchmakers to be honest!

I did notice one line which I think you accidentally copied in this section, when Audrey's trying to work out if she can put off seeing Oliver any longer, it's nothing major though!

Hmm, I'm not sure what to make of Oliver and James laughing together in the staff room because you made it sound like something would be happening with James and the fact that he's gay so now I'm really curious. Oliver clearly didn't realise how annoyed Audrey was though and I feel like if he was better at picking up on her moods they might have more of a future.

That meal at the Crescent Moon was just so awkward and I was kind of cringing as I read that section and how awkward things were between the two of them. Then, just when it started to get a little bit less awkward, Oliver started getting really angry about the idea of Audrey working with Draco! To be honest, I can understand why Oliver reacted the way he did, especially with what he was saying about having all of those memories from the battle. But at the same time, if everyone refuses to forgive and try and move on from what happened, then it's going to be really hard to build a fairer society. I had no idea when I realised Draco was going to be part of this story how much of a role he'd have to play! I think that Audrey's right to support Draco to be honest, and if Oliver had tried to tell me what to do when it came to someone I worked with and opinions I held, I'd be getting very annoyed!

It was so sweet that Audrey could go to George as her second choice for someone to get comfort from. And I love the way that he considered her question about Draco and came to the conclusion that Draco could be forgiven, because it's so much more in character with George and I thought the parallels that he drew with Percy were really interesting too.

Ah, it was so nice to see Percy come along and him and Audrey actually stay in the same room because George is the sort of person who can make them feel more comfortable about it. It was so great to see that and some of the subtle, slow development between Audrey and Percy's relationship (can it be called that yet? Acquaintance, maybe?). That letter at the end has made me really nervous though, I don't know what it's about! I'm worried it's something to do with her family and that Granny Lucy has been taken ill or something like that! I have to read on now to find out!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

Yes, you should be apprehensive about the next chapter as a lot happens so be scared and prepared and just ready for Audrey related chaos is the best thing to say really!

Erm, yes, erm, yes, Oliver, more will be revealed in the next chapter as to why he avoided her and why he's been a jerk recently so do not fear (I swear that's my standard line in this story!) as it should all be explained in the next chapter. Yay for Draco, and I'm so glad that you like the glimpses of his love life as it definitely will be explored a lot more in the coming chapters!

Thanks for pointing that out to me, I have annoying habit of doing that and I'll fix it asap!

Yes, Oliver can be a little dense at times when it comes to Audrey's feelings but I suppose with James around he's going to be like that a lot ;) There's a lot more to come about Oliver's background in terms of Penelope, Audrey and Percy and that should clear up a lot of things!

Yup, it definitely is getting very, very awkward between the two of them, possibly even more awkward than Percy and Audrey which is saying something as they are like the King and Queen of Awkward :P I can understand Oliver too, don't worry, because something as horrible and dreadful as that battle will have show its effects for a very long time but then there's always that fine line between forgive and forget and holding grudges. Haha, I didn't realise Draco was going to play such a major role when I started this story either so it's been so much fun exploring his character and seeing how someone like him can effect so many things.

I'm glad you liked that as it was fun to make George all deep and reflective while still trying to keep him as George. It's just so much fun to explore this idea of Draco and do we forgive him with lots of different people as it's one I don't really see that much in FF which is sad as there are so many different takes on it so it's great you're liking it here!

Bahahaha, yep, George has this ability to say incredibly awkward lines which somehow put people at ease, I have to say it's quite a cool trait to have! Erm, I think it might be a bit more than acquaintance maybe bordering on friendship bordering on advisor of personal issues I'm not really sure as it's so strange!

Thanks for another amazing review! :D


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Review #44, by nott theodore Bleak and Bleaker

6th August 2014:
Hey Kiana!

Oh my goodness! Poor, poor Audrey in this chapter! I seriously feel so sorry for her here because there's a lot that's gone on and I can see why the chapter title fits because things definitely aren't looking good for her right now!

Okay, so the opening of the chapter I just felt so sorry for Audrey with all of the panic that's going on in her mind! I can definitely understand it and it's clear that she's not used to doing that sort of thing, and then to top it all there's all the worry that she might actually be pregnant too. After all that, I expected that Oliver would at least stay and be all nice like he was when she stayed over the first time, but then he got that mysterious letter and went rushing off! I didn't expect him to do that because I was still hoping he was a nice guy, even though I suspected that he wasn't always. He could have at least told her where he went, and for a second I thought maybe someone had strange photos of him and Audrey or something - like the Daily Owl - but now I'm thinking that maybe it was Penelope or someone else. I'm not really sure...

I am really glad that Audrey wasn't pregnant! For a second I was reading and got really worried that you were going to do a massive plot twist like Audrey had a third child who wasn't Percy's, so I'm glad that she got Jemima to help her and do the test to make sure that she wasn't. The revelation about Jemima was quite surprising too although I suppose she has the sort of lifestyle that could lead to that, but it was nice of Audrey not to question it too.

The revelation about Oliver and Penelope was something I was kind of expecting because I guessed at it a couple of chapters ago, but I was still shocked because I didn't think that it would have been something that went on for so long. I felt so, so sorry for Audrey though because now she knows that Oliver has a history of cheating and things could be more difficult. I kind of hope that they break up now, because even though it will be hard for Audrey, I think it'll be better in the long run. And of course, she has to get together with Percy too!

Aw, that letter at the end was just so sweet! I love the fact that Percy did something like that and that you're showing a nicer side to Percy too! Audrey was a bit dense not to realise that it was Percy writing to apologise but aw, at least someone is being really nice to her!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian!

Aw, yes, Audrey does need a lot of hugs in this chapter and definitely in the ones to come too, as she isn't going through a time of her life right now.

Yeah, her panicking definitely didn't help in this chapter as it just meant she had a lot of unnecessary fears about life and the future and stuff, and probably made her and Oliver's relationship even worse. Oliver is a bit strange in these few chapters but don't worry too much about him! I actually feel kinda bad I made him look like such a villain in these few chapters because while he is mean I didn't intend to make him that mean but oh well, he dated Penelope he does some hate :P

Bahahaha, yeah, it could have been quite entertaining to see what would have happened if she was pregnant because seeing her manage a child would be funny, but no that would have bit too big a plot twist! Haha, Jemima's life is a little too crazy for all of us but I guess it's a good thing so Audrey now has someone to go for all that sort of stuff.

Yes, that was a good guess but there is a lot more to their relationship than you first think so don't worry too much just yet! The same goes for the cheating too, because while it is bad it's not as bad in a way, I don't know but just wait and see is probably the best thing to say as I'm making no sense :P Yay for her and Percy, those two are getting a lot closer to beign together!

Bahahah, I think with Audrey her life is just far too cray cray right now to realise it was Percy which is kinda sad, but it will be revealed later on, don't worry!

Thanks for another amazing review, Sian! :D


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Review #45, by nott theodore April Fool's

6th August 2014:
Hello again!

Aw, I absolutely loved the beginning of this chapter with Draco and Astoria on their date! I think that Audrey's idea for it was really cute and fit with the two of them really well, especially since we know that Astoria likes Muggle things and Draco's trying to expose himself to them more so that he can eradicate some of his prejudices. Although you've suddenly made Draco seem even cooler and normally I'm a bit on the fence when it comes to him, because if he can go on a date to a museum with a girl he doesn't know that well then he's pretty cool!

I think that my favourite part of that section was his complete bewilderment at travelling through Muggle London though, and all the different amazing descriptions that you got to include of the city. Audrey was so funny as she was taking him along, although there was still that caring side of her evident, and it made me laugh when she and Jemima just casually slipped away from Draco and Astoria as they were going into the museum before they realised they'd actually been set up on a date!

I was really interested to see what would happen at this second party of George's and it's kind of equally dramatic! I loved reading all the preparations for it and the way that Angelina just took control and wouldn't let George mess around with her and try and find out what the surprises are. Haha, the gluten-free vegan guest and the one from Nepal comments made me laugh!

Okay, Oliver in this chapter was really cute with stopping her to kiss her and stuff before the ending. It seems like he really does like her, but I'm worried and have a feeling that he might turn out to be a bad guy or something, especially since Percy keeps warning Audrey away from him!

Verity's really funny when she comes along and tries to be really impressive with all of her gossip and doesn't expect Audrey to know that's why she's coming; it shows the strength of their friendship really well. Her news was definitely interesting! It's so cute that George and Angelina are going to move in together, and the idea of Jemima and Charlie too! Although I'm not sure how I - or Audrey - feel about the idea of Percy with another girl, although since she's technically with Oliver so I guess it's kind of her own fault.

Oh no, that conversation between Percy and Audrey - I had so many feels! Even though there was some tension and stuff in their conversation they were still actually talking and I was so hopeful for them, but then it went wrong with all the talk about forgiveness! I think that Audrey did start to change his opinion about it and I wanted to see what Percy would say, but we didn't get the chance and I was kind of annoyed that Oliver came crashing in.

And no, I can't believe that Percy said that to Audrey, I feel so sad now! And I kind of want to shout at her for what she's doing at the end of this chapter even though I can kind of understand why she's doing it. Eep, reading on!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian! :D

Bahaha, I'm so glad that you liked it and didn't think it was weird how Muggle crazy Audrey made the date. But then given how you already know her quite well by this stage I guess you can't be too surprised by how crazy she made the date :P DRACO IS COOL SIAN. DON'T DENY IT.

I'm so glad that you liked the transport bit because if this story is set in London, the tube has got to feature in it at least once as it's so iconic and a massive part of the city it would feel quite strange without it being there. They were quite sneaky there, I have to give you that!

Yup, George's party tend to be on the dramatic side of things most of the time as he's just so crazy like that. All hail Angelina though because I don't even want to imagine what it would be like without her stepping in.

Yes, he is quite cute I have to give him that but I shan't say too much on the subject. He isn't awful though, he is quite lovely still but yeah I shall remain quite as that is for the best.

Aw, I'm so glad that their friendship comes off strong to you as it's such a hard thing to replicate it means a lot to me that you can see it here. I should say don't get too excited about Jemima and Charlie yet... Oh no, Percy and Audrey are 5eva and nothing could ever break them apart, except maybe Oliver but don't worry too much yet.

Yes, the feels, way too many feels! I think Percy does have a fair point as he experienced so many horrible things in the war whereas Audrey didn't really and while that was great it does mean she does lack a certain level of depth about it.

Shout, shout, shout, as I will shout with you and at Oliver too!

Thanks for another amazing review!


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Review #46, by nott theodore One Bombshell, Two Bombshell, Three Bombshell, Four.

6th August 2014:
Hey Kiana!

Haha, high five for being able to play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder :P

I loved the way that you began this chapter, with Audrey talking to Eileen and doing a sort of checklist of place and time and everything in her head. Eileen's so annoying and I can see why Audrey would hate having to work with her and have to try and keep on her good side because she's her superior - it was so in character for Eileen to say that Audrey and Oliver are courting though! That bit made me laugh so much.

It's also amazing when Audrey goes all feminist and tries to go girl power on Eileen. To be honest, Eileen deserved it - she was generalising far too much, and even if Audrey didn't care a thing about Quidditch, she was still right to put her right (if that makes sense). And ooh, revelations! James is gay - I probably should have seen that one coming but I love the way that Audrey's still trying to stop herself from being distracted by him now that she's got her boyfriend, and being disappointed that she can't now marry him in a beach wedding. Predictions of what it will lead to? Hmm, I honestly can't think of anything but now I'm sure there must be something since you wouldn't have asked otherwise... maybe James is going to fall for Draco and there'll be all sorts of awkwardness? Or maybe Oliver's secretly gay too and then James will eventually meet him and stuff? Or it could be something much more obvious that I've simply forgotten about right now...

Audrey's so sweet! I love the fact that she's genuinely really nice and fits in with her house and stuff with what she's trying to do for Draco. I really like the way that their friendship is starting to develop and the way that Audrey feels protective over him even though she hasn't really known him for that long yet. But it's also really cute the way that they're trying to set Astoria and Draco up with each other by telling them both that the other's been missing them and stuff like that. I'm excited to see the two of them meeting and really love the idea of them getting together because of a matchmaker. Oh, I really hope that Audrey's potion does work as it would be great for Draco to be able to get rid of that mark on his arm!

Penelope just keeps on turning up when she's not wanted, doesn't she? And Percy was being so sweet to Audrey (the WAG thing made me laugh) and now I want to know what he was trying to get her interested in - she should have been listening to him! I think that he probably does like her, or at least thinks that he could because there are all these looks and he seems hurt when he sees her with Oliver/when she announces to the Ministry that she doesn't fancy him (although that would be quite upsetting to hear for anyone, I guess :P). I'm glad she stood up to Penelope, but I feel like she'll start to regret that maybe when she realises that she does actually like Percy...

I really love reading about the girls' conversations because you just capture their friendship so well! Hmm, I'm wondering if maybe they'll organise for Draco and Astoria to meet in a gallery or something? Or maybe Audrey will come up with something even crazier...

Sian :)

Author's Response: Yay for that and I'm so, so, so sorry about how long it's taken me to respond to this review, I honestly have no excuse *hides in shame*

Bahaha, yes calling Eileen only annoying will seem tame in a few chapters *does an evil cackle*. Just kidding, but I'm glad you find her annoying because she's just one of those sorts of characters which has to talk in a different way to show her superiority to you and I just hate that.

I'm glad you liked the girl power moment and you definitely weren't wrong about that bit. Women really do need more of a champion like Audrey is! Ooh why yes he is Sian and just wait and see what might happen as a result of that shall we say... ;) I really loved your predictions and some of them were very, very hot but if I remember correctly you'll find out in chapter 13/14 what really happened!

Aw, I'm glad that you liked the perspective as he does need a motivator and I honestly think that if Draco didn't have Audrey in his life he would be some crazed alcoholic who should be locked up. Yay for Astoria and Draco there should be a ton more of them to come!

Bahaha, yes she does and she will continue to do so for a very long time. Ha, I'm glad you liked the mention of the WAG too, I just couldn't resist throwing it in like that as it was too good to miss out. He does certainly seem hurt especially with some of the things Audrey said so what you're hinting at might turn out to be true!

Aw, thank you, we'll just have to see about that though! Thanks for this amazing review and I hope this terrible response somehow makes up for the lateness of it all!


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Review #47, by nott theodore Papa-Paparazzi

6th August 2014:
Hello again!

*facepalms* Oh my goodness, I can't believe that I didn't even think of the white flash of light being a camera flash. That's just unnecessarily embarrassing because I was getting panicked that they'd been cursed or something so I'm glad that I was wrong! Although perhaps Rita Skeeter was as bad as a curse...

You capture Rita Skeeter's character really well in this chapter! I know that you've written about her before but I loved the way that she was so in character, trying to get the gossip and making things up about Oliver, determined to get a scoop. I felt sorry for Audrey there, actually! At least Oliver wasn't all horrible and trying to get her to pose for the paparazzi or something, because that would be a definite reason to break up with him!

Ooh, so Penelope and Oliver did get together... towards the end of Hogwarts! I'm really thinking that they cheated on Percy when they were together now, even though Oliver didn't admit that to Audrey. I can understand when he was trying to hurry over it though, because I think he does like her. Audrey's monologue through that section was hilarious, especially the comments about her mind being occupied with things other than descriptions, and Percy looking like a tomato :P

Okay, so I know that Audrey's still denying it, but she definitely is starting to feel something for Percy, even if she won't admit it to herself or anyone else yet. That feeling that she had to go after him when he saw her kissing Oliver? Yes, Audrey, that's because you like him!

I can't work out what Penelope's up to though, I think that she's the sort of person who just wants a famous(ish) boyfriend at this point, so maybe if she can't get Oliver then she'll go after Percy again because of his position in the Ministry and his family connections? Either way, I feel like she could be quite a lot of trouble for Audrey in the future...

I thought the second part was really great as well! It's not easy to deal with the way that society would have been after the war with all the former Death Eaters trying to readjust, but all of the prejudice that would have still existed. It's making me feel really sorry for Draco, and I think the fact that I'm seeing it through the eyes of someone who wasn't involved in any of that really makes me feel even more sorry for him!

Woo, go Verity though! It must be awful for Draco to walk into a room and have it turn quiet just because he's there, but I was so proud of Verity for standing up for him, even though she doesn't really know who he is and hadn't been exactly happy at the prospect of meeting him. Hannah's cameo was great, especially the way that you portrayed her a lot more forceful than I normally see her, although she wasn't very nice!

The hints of Astoria and Draco were really great in this chapter, and I love the idea of them being set up by someone else rather than Draco meeting her through his more traditional pureblood connections, which is what I normally read. (Also, that comment from Audrey about sticking with people that Verity sets her up with made me laugh so much.) The description of Astoria was great too, and I feel like she'd be the sort of person who'd get on with Audrey! I did notice one typo there, when you write 'galley' instead of 'gallery' but that's only tiny.

This was another great chapter and I'm really enjoying this story, Kiana - it's added to my favourites! On to the next chapter!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi again Sian! :D

Bahaha, it's fine, it could have gone anyway given how fast this story moves so don't worry about getting it wrong! Plus, as you said Rita Skeeter is pretty evil so she could be considered as a curse in a way.

I'm glad you liked her as it was so much fun to write her again as she's just such a fun character to write, and I really recommend trying it out! She actually does pop up a few more times in the story so don't worry! As for Oliver, he may seem evil at times but he could never be that bad!

Erm, yes, Penelope and Oliver, erm, yes, is all I'll say for now as I can't really say much for reasons you'll learn out later but I hope you like them! You are quite warm with your theories so far shall I say.

Yes, she does love him, well, maybe not love but she's definitely starting to like him. I think the Cauldron Thickness Report was a sign because it would be just her thing to fall in love over something geeky like that. :P

All Penelope does for Audrey is create more and more trouble for her so you are right about that. She's not as evil as other characters in this story shall we say but she just has a tendency to get mixed up in the bad sort of thing really.

Aw, poor Draco, he really does need a lot of hugs doesn't he? In a way, he did bring it on himself as he was part of it but I really want him to have a second chance too.

Hahaha, Verity was very much a go girl here even if she doesn't really like him but I guess she'll just have to deal with him. Yes, poor, Hannah, but I guess she needs some omph if she ends up marrying as he's quite fierce towards the end.

Hahaha, yeah, I did mix it up there, but it was a lot more fun to do it this way as no one really saw it coming :P Ooh thanks for pointing that out to me I'll fix it right away!

Thanks for an amazing review, Sian, and the favourite, it really made my day! :D


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Review #48, by nott theodore Quidditch Confrotations

6th August 2014:
Hi Kiana! Okay, this review is going to be typed as quickly as I can when I'm reviewing (which is kind of a struggle but you know :P) because I have to read on and find out what happened at the end of this chapter!

Once again, I love reading from Audrey's perspective because I really think that you've created a unique and original voice for her. She's so funny and her internal monologue just makes me laugh so much when I read it. All of the little comments that she manages to keep in her head, especially when she's with her friends.

Your invention of new places for them to spend time in and hang out is something I think is great, too, because I always think there must be more locations and places for them to visit than the very few we see in the books. If I remember rightly, the Crescent Moon appeared in AAO too?

I really like the way that you write the friendship between Audrey, Verity and Jemima too, because it just seems so natural and believable. I can picture them there clamouring for details about what's going on between Audrey and Oliver and her eventually giving in because she knows that there's no real point in resisting :P

Ah yay, I think it's great of Audrey to get Verity to try and set Draco up with someone! It would be really cool if it was Astoria that he gets set up with, and if it is then maybe Verity should go into business as a professional matchmaker, since Audrey's eventually going to end up with Percy too! I hope it does cheer him up a bit, but I liked the fact that Verity especially - with her links to the Weasleys and things - wasn't quite so accepting of the fact that Draco was a former Death Eater as Audrey had been. I think there would still be all sorts of tensions around that, as well as people who can accept it more readily and move on.

The scene with Draco was lovely too, I think it's great to see a version of him who's so unassuming. In a way it's quite a drastic change but I can imagine that after the war he'd have started feeling like he wasn't entitled to anything at all, especially with the problems he's having in his training. I'm glad Audrey's so nice though, and there to help him! The details about the potions are really interesting too, and the way that they have to make them and balance them for use at St. Mungo's. I'm not sure if I've said this before but it's really interesting to see someone working as a Potioneer, because that's not something I've seen a lot of in fanfiction!

Yay, the second kind-of date! I thought you did a really good job of side-stepping the writing of the actual match without it being too obvious, because it makes sense that Audrey wouldn't really be following what's going on if she isn't really that interested in Quidditch. It was nice to see her with Angelina and George as well, although I felt kind of sorry for George with the way that he had to try and remain neutral in the matches so Oliver and Ginny don't get annoyed with him!

Oh, I wasn't expecting to see Penelope Clearwater there at the match! She's definitely not the nicest person and that's a really different interpretation of her, and I'm actually enjoying reading her like that quite a lot! Ooh, I have a new prediction about the reason for Percy's warning to Audrey! So, if Percy and Penelope broke up because she cheated on him, and Percy doesn't like Oliver... did Penelope cheat on Percy with Oliver? This could be very dramatic if it's true! I also really liked the fact that Audrey had read Percy's report on cauldron thickness, because that fits so well with her character and it's something small and subtle to show reasons that they'll have things in common and might get together.

Okay, so this was a bit longer than I was intending it to be because I rambled like always, but anyway, I'm going to read on right now because I need to know what happened!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian, sorry for taking ages to get to this again :P

Bahaha, I'm so glad that you liked her because I wrote her during NaNo so sometimes I went a bit crazy with her ramblings just to boost my word count so that means a lot to me :D

Yes, it did, sometimes I can't think of another new thing so I just recycle old ideas :P Jenna really is a big inspiration for me though as she writes so many cool places I feel as if I should do the same so look to her for that sort of thing.

Yay for match making! Verity is quite surprising when it comes to setting up Draco and there will be a few things which shake up but I hope you like them. It was fun to explore a lot of the tension with Draco though as she is bound to be influenced by the Weasleys's view of him whereas Audrey has nothing to base her opinion of him on. As for Audrey and Percy... you'll have to see! ;)

I'm glad you liked the Draco details, as I always imagine these years after the war to be very life changing for him, and he does develop into a better person because of it. I might be naive thinking of that but I do think he does turn out to be a sort of good guy in the end. Yay for potions, this was me challenging my sadness about no longer doing chemistry, I don't really get why I missed it but oh well :P

Yay for it! I can't write Quidditch for the life of me, so Audrey was the perfect character for this scene really as I could just ramble away and it would be fine really. Bahaha, poor George, I'm sure he has a lot of practice and experience though so he should be okay.

Yes, she is just so ewww really. I always imagined her evil in my head for some reason hence why she's out to get Audrey. Ooooh that is a good prediction but you will have to wait and see as more will be explained later on.

Thanks for this amazing review, Sian, sorry for taking ages to respond to it though! :D


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Review #49, by ChemistryCat Quidditch Confrotations

6th August 2014:
I love Verity!! I find her very similar to my own best friend! I hope she matchmakes Draco with Astoria (can you shape her similar to luna, I think he needs a little loony in her life)
Loving the story
PS blood is alkaline, just a pet peeve as a science student. Another thing I love about the story is the chemistry (pun intended)!!

Author's Response: Yay for Verity, she is a ton of fun and don't worry because you might just be right there ;) Haha, thanks for telling me that I'll definitely change it but yay for science as it's always fun :D


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Review #50, by nott theodore An Interlude of Fame

3rd August 2014:
Hey Kiana!

Okay, first of all you need to stop writing/updating so quickly because I was congratulating myself on actually having a chance of catching up on this and then you go and post another chapter :P

Ah, this was great again, I loved the way that Audrey's thought process was when it started and she woke up in a strange place and couldn't remember what had happened the night before with Oliver. And Oliver was actually surprisingly nice and calm about it, even though nothing happened and he basically woke up to her running out on him (although she did have work so she wasn't quite making excuses to leave). Him asking her to go for lunch was really cute as well, and nice of him after she fell asleep in his bed fully clothed and tried to run away.

Audrey's voice, as ever, is really strong and absolutely hilarious. I want to quote some of my favourite lines back to you, because I was laughing out loud and getting strange looks for it, but it would probably be half the chapter and take up all the characters that I've got left in this review box, so I'm not going to. But you've got such a great talent when it comes to characterisation as well as humour, because you manage to create such vivid characters who have very real and believable personalities, and it's really awesome to read stories with characters like Audrey in this.

Aw, I felt really sorry for Draco in this chapter when they were in Audrey's room and she had to annoy him into admitting what was wrong. It's so unfair that there are people who are trying to get him chucked off the Potioneering course, because even though he did do things that he regretted and things that were wrong, he's trying to start afresh and how is he meant to do that if people won't let him even have a job? (The comment about killing the fly made me laugh so much, it fit in so well with Audrey's internal monologue and just flowed really well, but it was absolutely hilarious!) It's great that Audrey's decided she's going to help him though, even if it's going to be harder than she originally thought. I hope that she manages to do something and I'm really interested to see what it is she'll come up with to help him! One of the other things that I love about this story is seeing the way that Audrey interacts with all the canon characters that we already know as well, because she manages to fit into this world so well.

Haha, I was laughing so much when I saw the way that she reacted to seeing Harry and Ginny when she was on her date with Oliver, getting really nervous about talking to them and knowing what to say when I know that eventually she's actually going to be related to them and have to spend time with them properly.

Ooh, I love how Percy's starting to creep in more and more even though Audrey keeps telling herself that she doesn't care about him at all and doesn't like him. It was really interesting to see that even when she was on a date with Oliver, thoughts of Percy were still in her mind, like when she realised that Ginny was his sister. Oh no, now I'm worried that Oliver's going to turn out to be a bad guy and something bad is going to happen to Audrey because of it - so instead I'm hoping that it's just Percy being a little bit jealous of Oliver and everything will be fine!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey Sian!

Bahaha, I'm sorry but I mainly update every month so it's not too quick :P

Yes, Oliver and Audrey are full of contrasts I have to say, except that they're both kind of party loving so I guess there's a similarity there for them. I had to make nice and sweet though because no matter what happens in this story with him I still really love him as a character and I will try and not be too mean to him as he's just so cute.

Hahahaha, I'm sorry you were given strange looks but just hearing that made me laugh a little too much too :P Don't worry about not quoting them, it means so much to me that you find it funny so that in itself is enough for me! I'm so glad that you find Audrey believable and realistic because that's always my biggest fear when it comes to writing as my first character was the biggest Mary-Sue ever, so I really don't want to make the same mistakes again.

I know, it's so sad that he has to keep up with all these battles and it's only really Audrey who supports him and believes in him here. As for the job, you'll have to wait and see in the coming chapters (meaning the ones after 11) as things start to change dramatically for Draco and there will be lots of explanations too, so don't worry. I'm glad that you find Audrey interacts with the canon characters well though as it was a fun challenge for me! But she's almost acting like a mother hen to Draco right now so it is rather amusing to see :P

Yes, she can be such a fangirl at times! I don't know how she ever ends up marrying Percy because I'm surprised she doesn't freak the family out by getting all excited about them all the time.

Yes, he is quite a creeper in a not too weird I hope sense, as for Audrey's mutterings about him, she can keep telling herself that but it might all start to change soon. There is some jealously in there with Oliver but he shouldn't be too bad as bad guys go... :P

Thanks for another amazing review! :D


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