Reading Reviews for The Odd One
33 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LovlyRita Plotting Revenge

19th February 2013:
Hello! This is LovlyRita here, Congratulations on winning this review, I am so excited to be here to leave it for you! And you'll be happy to know that I validated this one shot as well, so when I realized which story it was that i'd be reviewing, I was like SWEET I'm totally already familiar with it!

So let's get to it! :)

First of all, Tom Riddle one shot! yaay! I haven't ever seen one quite like this, so you've really stumbled upon something that is unique :) It's so heartbreaking to think that people actually might have come by to adopt little Tom Riddle and it really makes me sad inside! Like, here's this little boy who might have just wanted to be loved. When he was little anyway :P And because he was so odd, no one wanted him :( Poor Tom Riddle. I never thought I'd say that!

And what about these punks, Dennis and Amy! I like the way that you are rationalizing everything, making Riddle seem child like and human, which is great because that's what he is. It often seems like people seem to think he was always this evil mastermind when really he started out as a child just like everyone else. And it really must have been hard for him to be taunted that no one would ever love him. It's sad and striking, because he really did end up with no one ever loving him (Save for Bellatrix but that doesn't really count.) He exchanged the possibility of being loved for all consuming power.

This bit with the boy and his rabbit was chilling. Once again, it demonstrates the sociopath growing within him, that if he couldn't tend the rabbit, then no one would touch it. It's perfectly done. And it's very concise, the way you tie it up there. Instead of saying BTW I killed the rabbit, you hinted at it, and it was fabulous :)

Back to heart break in the next paragraph. His perception that his parents "left" him when really the backstory of his life is so much more chilling and sad than that. But again, the childlike perception is great. This belief that "If my parents wronged me, and the other children are being mean to me, then I need to teach everyone a lesson, they need to understand how I felt." It really is tragic.

The point where Dumbledore comes and Riddle realizes that he is "superior" to other is really the first flash of Voldemort that we see in this entire story, and, I know I've said "sad" several times, but to me it's sad that it happens so very early.

Over all I think this is a very well written, albeit short, one shot. It is a great insight into the mind of a confused little boy, it was concise and chilling and I really enjoyed this read!!! :) The over all flow was great and engaging.

Well done!

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad that you were excited in reviewing this story, I just assumed that validators read so many stories that they forgot which ones they had validated.

I've never read any Tom Riddle one-shots so I didn't really know whether this was similar to anything else or not, so I'm glad that you found it was unique :D

Yeah I never realised that I would feel sympathy towards Tom Riddle as well, before writing this, so I'm glad that you felt some sympathy towards him, as I feel he needs it, as he didn't have a very good start to life.

I thought he would rationalize everything thing, as he's very intelligent it seemed like the obvious thing to do! I just thought it would show that he was human once, and he could have remained human if he had some love.

I'm glad that you liked the bit about the rabbit, as I feel he never admits to what he does, so of course he wouldn't just say I killed your rabbit.

I think that if I was in his situation I would feel unloved as they had left me, so I wanted to show this may have contributed to his evilness.

Yeah I guess the visit from Dumbledore was significant as he was the one who told him about magic, and if he never visited there would have never been a Voldemort.

Thank you for this great review, it made my day :D

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Review #27, by teh tarik Plotting Revenge

18th February 2013:
Hello Kiana :) teh tarik from the forums here with your requested review. Well, this is the first time someone's requested for such a short fic!

Well, I think this is certainly a pretty accurate portrayal of Tom Riddle's voice and childhood experiences :) Through his narration, he certainly comes off as emotionally alienated, cold and arrogant at times. But you've also shown his slightly more vulnerable moments - when he's mocked by Amy and Dennis for being so different and at the reality that he's such an unloved child. Such moments would make normal children feel insecure, hurt, damaged even...but Tom is just vengeful. He certainly is affected by their words, but he is not passive and in fact, reacts violently. I love the little twist you've added to the story - about Amy and Dennis taunting and belittling Tom. I think it was always assumed from the books (well at least I did :P ) that Tom did something horrible to those kids, completely unprovoked, and that he was always an unsettling and amoral child from the beginning. Well, you've given him a little humanity here...not much weakness, but still a twinge more sympathy and I think it's a good decision.

I think this is a very strong line: When people repeatedly call you by the same name, you tend to morph into it. It really makes you stop and think - perhaps Tom is the product of his environment / circumstances? If those other Muggle kids hadn't set him apart and called him 'the odd one' then perhaps he himself would never have distanced himself from them and found himself superior? It's really fascinating, and I think it would be great if you ever choose to expand on this a little more.

Now, for 500 word stories, I think it's very important to be selective about the sorts of details that you include in your story. With this story, you've sort of given us a sort of generalised and sweeping account of Tom's childhood, well, through his own eyes. I think it would be much better if you had instead focused on specific moments and details - personally, I feel that you don't need to even mention the character of Mrs. Cole or what she thinks, and instead use the extra words on developing other more important characters, or evoking in greater detail a more memorable scene.

Also, I think you should have a very tight rein on language, and really edit stuff to make sure that the narrative is more tightly structured and that loose general sentences are taken out. e.g. So I decided to inflict the pain I felt onto others, as they needed to be taught how I felt every day. In a longer story, it would be fine to have this sentence, but in such a short piece, it feels a little redundant, and a little too general. What I suggest doing is to go through your story and edit out these sorts of general sentences that do more "telling" rather than "showing", and if you have room for more words, focus on certain scenes in greater detail. I think your narrative would be a lot stronger and a lot more effective if you had, say, given a more detailed account of what Tom did to Dennis and Amy or to Billy's rabbit (I know this wasn't revealed in canon, but you might have to make something up...)

OK, I'm getting a little repetitive here...but anyway, I think you did a great job with Tom's characterisation. His voice is certainly chilling, and a little petulant at times, which does really reflect on child!Voldemort's character. There are also the odd flashes of brilliance and thoughtful statements like the one I quoted earlier, and these show Tom's extraordinary intelligence.

So, just a little more detail to structure and language, and I think you'll have a really great story here.

Thank you so much for requesting, and I do hope this review will be useful :)


Author's Response: Hi teh, sorry it took a while to respond to this review!

I'm glad that you thought that my potrayal of Tom was believable, as he is such a hard character to write, as he's so complex. I guess that's why I added that bit about him having a reason to attack the others, as he's so complex you can kind of expect anything from him, so I thought it would work. I'm glad that you felt he was seen in a sympathetic light, as that's what I was aiming to do, as I don't think he was entirely evil, and that there was a reason behind it.

Yes I liked that line as well, as I thought it would be interesting with the whole nature/nurture debate, and whether if they didn't call him names, he would have been a nicer person.

Yeah I didn't realize how hard it is to write within 500 words until I tried it myself! You just don't know whether what you are including, should be included or not. I'll review the chapter, and see if I can add something more significant, and still make it fit 500 words!

I'll also review the grammar errors as well, it was just so hard making it grammatically correct and making it fit the word count!

Thank you so much for the review, I did find it really helpful, well your reviews are always helpful!

-Kiana :D

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Review #28, by MadiMalfoy Plotting Revenge

17th February 2013:
Ahh so good! I just happened to be scrolling through your page and decided to read this (I really enjoy your Muse challenge story Uprising) and I wasn't disappointed at all! It gave me a good insight into how Tom would have felt at that age and fits his persona perfectly--just like how Ralph Fiennes' nephew portrayed him in the film. :) Fantastic one-shot! xx

Author's Response: Hi!

Feel free to read anything else on the page that takes your fancy, as your reviews always make my day! I'm glad that it didn't disappoint you, and that it was good! I'm glad that it fitted his persona, as he's such a hard character to portray, I wasn't too sure if it seemed like him!

Thanks for your review, it made my day! And the next chapter of Uprising is in the queue, so it should be up in the next couple of days :Dx

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Review #29, by 800 words of heaven Plotting Revenge

16th February 2013:

First of all, writing a story that was as nice and well done as this one, in just five hundred words absolutely blows my mind to the next galaxy and back. Seriously, I am so impressed.

I always felt sorry for young Tom Riddle, once we found out his story in the sixth book. It seemed like sometimes he was born to be evil, but at others, you could picture him as a victim of circumstances. I think you've managed to capture that duality in him really well. Whilst reading this, you're just not sure if it's "nature" or "nurture" (or lack thereof) that has made him what he is.

Really wonderful, as always! I hope you write more stuff like this (as in, just five hundred words) because I think you have a real talent for it!

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm so glad that you blew your mind, in a good way mind!

I always felt a little sorry for Tom as well, and I guess that's what motivated me to write this one-shot, as I wanted to show in a new, more sympathetic light!

Yes I guess we'll never really know whether it was nature or nurture which forced him to become who he is, but I hope it was nurture, as I do like to think that he had a choice.

Writing just 500 words, is rather fun to do, so I'll think about doing more in the future!

Thanks for the great review, it made my day:D

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Review #30, by adluvshp Plotting Revenge

16th February 2013:
Hello! Here for your requested review.

Ah, what a wonderful one-shot. I have come across many poorly written Tom Riddles, so I was a bit wary when I started reading this, but I am so glad I did, because this was quite nicely done. People tend to 'mess up' his character but I was pleased that you captured him fairly well.

I loved the plot concept of him being called the "odd one" and sort of living up to his name, or rather growing into his name. That was a powerful concept.

As for the believability, I think this was definitely believable. You did a fine job in portraying young Tom Riddle and his thoughts, and the way it all played out was quite realistic. He seemed very much like one would imagine him to be - mature in a way for an 11-year-old and yet childish. We could also see the sense of power in his head and that was great.

I also loved the part where Tom says that he took Dennis and Amy to the cave because they were taunting him about being unloved. It showed that he was affected by the fact that he was abandoned by his parents and needed and wanted love, and unfortunately when he didn't get it, he turned "bad" because he wanted to take revenge on the world, and hurt it because he had his 'precious' parents taken from him. It just shows how much impact being in the orphanage and families' refusal to take him had on him.

Of course, this is different, but I think it works well enough, as it had this haunting feel about it and had me hooked while reading.

This flowed really well too, and I think it is very appropriate for 500 words - as more would not have made the impact it did.

I didn't see any technical errors either, except for the final sentence as it sounded weirdly phrased to me ("wait until for the moment..." part) so I'd suggest that you see if that can be re-phrased and still fit in the 500 words.

Apart from that, I don't have any CC to give you as this was a well-written one-shot, was quite believable, very interesting, and nicely thought out. Your pace, flow, grammar, and characterisation was finely done. Good work!



Author's Response: Hi Aditi, thanks for leaving such a detailed review!

I'm glad that you thought that I captured Tom Riddle well, as like you said he's such a complex character, he's really hard to portray! I just sort of imagined that I was him, so I guess getting into his mindset piad off, even if I felt weird being in a serial killers mind!

Yes I thought that the odd one, would be a cool idea to use, as you never imagine him getting bullied, you imagine him the bully, so I thought it would be nice to show, that everyone has a hidden side.

I'm that it was believable as his mind is so warped, you never know what he would be thinking!

I thought that the incident with the cave must have a reason behind it, and I wanted to show why he may have ended up evil, so I combined both in one! I'm glad that you liked it, as I love adding more of a backstory to canon events.

I'm glad that you thought it fitted 500 words well, as I agree I couldn't think of what else to write, so it seemed fitting to do it for this challenge.

I'll look at the last sentence and see what I can do:)

Thanks for the review it was really useful!


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Review #31, by soapman333 Plotting Revenge

16th February 2013:
Awesome, I love me some one-shots (that wasn't supposed to sound lame, but it did. Sorry).

Oh wow, I like this approach to little Tommy. He's "morph[ed]" into what people call him. I got chills reading the way he nonchalantly mentioned those incidents with his fellow orphans. Gah, but I still felt sympathy, even when I know his future.

Way to make me want to adopt an evil wizard :P.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this,

Author's Response: Hi!

Yes I love one-shots to, as it means you explore something you would have never written about before!

I'm glad that you liked this approach to Tom, as I was trying to show that though he was evil at such a young age, he was still a child, and one that deserve some sympathy.

I have to say I did feel sorry for him when writing this, even though I know what he did in the future!

Lol! Perhaps if you adopted him, you could have made him a nicer person, and he wouldn't have turned out to be an evil wizard!

Thanks for the review, it made me laugh! And I'm really glad that you enjoyed this read!

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Review #32, by Siriusly89 Plotting Revenge

15th February 2013:

I've never seen a one-shot from Tom's point of view when he was a child before. This had a sort of haunting feel about it, because he just seems like an innocent, lost little boy in this, but of course we know what a monster he eventually morphs into.

At the same time though, he seems a little. . . .mental in this. Or not mental, but somethings a little off in this. He seems older than his years, like he's seen more than an eleven year old should. . . .and that scares me a little!

Really good job! Well done!

Author's Response: Hi!

I've never read a story from Tom's POV before either, so I really wanted to write this, as I do believe he wasn't always evil, and like you said I wanted to show that he could have been innocent at one point. Yes it is kind of weird knowing what he'll turn out to be, but I guess that's what makes his life so interesting, as he could have gone either way.

I'm glad that you picked up on the differences as that's what I was aiming to do! I always imagined that he would be very immature and mature for his age, if that makes sense? And I think given what he later turned out to be, he would be a little creepy!

Thanks for the great review!

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Review #33, by academica Plotting Revenge

14th February 2013:
Hi! Here from Team Blue for the Review Battle!

It's interesting to read something from Tom's perspective at this time in his life. You can already see the cruelty we've come to expect from Voldemort, like the incident with the rabbit, but there are also faint reminders of the fact that we're dealing with a young boy who has a child's understanding of things at times. For instance, that line about how it's understandable that he has strong powers already because he's the odd one is interesting, because he doesn't see it the way Dumbledore does, with the latter being worried.

I think this was a great choice for this challenge, because it feels like the length is appropriate here. Your writing is nice and smooth, as well. Nice job!


Author's Response: Go Team Blue!

Yes I thought that it would be interesting to explore this part of his life as well, as I don't think there are ever really any mentions about it.

I'm glad that you felt I was coming through with a child's understanding as that was important for me to do, as Voldemort was very mature at this part of his life, but so immature in other respects.

I'm glad that you suited the challenge well, as when I first started to writing it, I thought it would be the ideal length for it.

Thanks for the great review, Kiana :)

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