Reading Reviews for No Awkwardness
  
65 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Nikki Howard Ella the Deformed Umbrella

20th August 2012:
I love the fact that they kiss, but the ending... IT'S TOO SAD! You'd better post the next chapter fast, missy!
XOXO, Nikki

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Review #52, by luvinpadfoot Ella the Deformed Umbrella

20th August 2012:
I did like the way it turned out! Sometimes the girl running away from the kiss can be a bit cliche, but it fit so well in here. I can just imagine all she's thinking, with the drama between her parents and her sister and Sisi, and now she has to deal with James drama too. I feel kind of bad for her, but at least things are starting to look up.

I was a little surprised about Sisi's eating disorder, but I can't wait to see what develops with it. James is a great guy, but he's not exactly the sensitive type. It'll be interesting to see how he deals with it.

The teasing of Charlie at the beginning made me laugh. That's a great description of him. That whole scene was hilarious!

I can't wait to see where you take James and Charla's relationship! They're so cute together, but I don't want to see their great friendship ruined either! Another fantastic chapter!

(And sorry this review is shorter. I've been a bit busy and didn't want to neglect your story entirely!)

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing again, it's nice to hear what people think and edit with advice! I wasn't happy with how Sisi's eating disorder was put in the story but I needed to fit it in with this chapter, but I've edited slightly and hope it improves a little. I hope you enjoy the next few chapters which will be released very soon!
~Char


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Review #53, by GrangerDanger76 Ella the Deformed Umbrella

17th August 2012:
Aw! No! They're so adorable, it's not even funny. I really like your characters, however I wish you would have aluded to SiSi's eating dissorder a bit more, because it seemed rather sudden. I like James, and adore Charla. It's a very pretty name, by the way. Hoping you update soon... I'll keep my eyes peeled for this story! Well done :)

Author's Response: Sisi's eating disorder becomes a main part later on in the story, I wasn't happy either with how it came up, I'm still working on trying to improve it but for now I just wanted the chapter up and viewable.
~Char


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Review #54, by GrangerDanger76 Latin For Evil

17th August 2012:
Okay, so this has kind of been bothering me. You have a GREAT plot, REALISTIC characters, but you just use exclamation points far too much. I know this is beyond nit-pickey but it just takes me out of the story because I can't see James doing that, you know? They're good every once and a while, but you are sorta over using them.

However that's just a personal thing, you continue if you see fit :))

Author's Response: Sorry, I know I do, it's a very bad habit and I've tried to prevent it happening too much, thanks for pointing it out and I will make sure to try and not use them so much when I write.
~Char


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Review #55, by luvinpadfoot Romania Maybe?

15th August 2012:
I wonder what else is happening with the Wood family. It sounds like more than just a nasty divorce, especially if Char's getting upset about it. What's the deal with Oliver at the Ministry? The curiosity is killing me, I can't wait for more!

And I'm glad Charla isn't hurting herself like Rory is. That would be too sad for words, although I'm not quite sure she really can handle it better. I'm glad she has James to lean on.

I love that their relationship seems to be progressing! It's so slow and natural, nothing at all seemed forced. I could see this happening in real life. For all the drama surrounding their lives, the relationship itself seems so sweet and perfect.

James's jealousy and reaction to his father was great. I believed every moment of it and it really makes his character deeper. It's obvious he loves his family, but when Al doesn't even care about Quidditch the jealousy is perfect. It adds a whole new dynamic to James and his relationship with his family that I'm eager to see played out. Especially more with Harry.

A few misspellings that I noticed, but nothing major. The other thing that bothered me just a little was the bedroom situation. I can't see parents letting them share a bedroom, no matter how mature they are. But that's just me.

I only really have one suggestion for this chapter and that's to work on the adults. Especially in the letter Ginny sent James, she didn't sound very much like an adult. Just listen to how adults talk and try to emulate that in your writing. It might be more noticeable because your voices for the teenagers are so perfect and hers isn't quite there. The dialogue between the adults seems better, but the letter just read like a teenager.

The characters are all so thought out and well developed. I know I say this almost every chapter, but it's true! They're the best parts of this story. I love reading about everything they're going through because they seem so real!

Such a splendid chapter! I love the way all the different elements are heating up! Obviously I'm excited for the next chapter. :) Still loving it, just like always!

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Review #56, by luvinpadfoot Girl Troubles

12th August 2012:
This is one of my favorite chapters so far. I love how you threaded all of their lives in together. Sisi, Dom, Char, Rory, Fred, and James. And the Umbridge/Devil reincarnate. It didn't feel like there were that many different plots jammed in together and it flowed really well!

The ending shocked me. Well, shocked may be a little strong, but I didn't expect Sisi to be upset. It's really made me wonder why she was crying, what happened. Is it something to do with her little sister? Or Fred? Or something else entirely? I'm looking forward to hearing more about her.

That line at the end about their lives falling apart- let me find it. "It wasn't just Charlie's life that was falling apart this year. It was everyone's." I love that line. It's definitely my favorite so far. I think it captured what's going on in the story perfectly.

The little part with Rory made me so happy. I like that she seems to be doing well which I know isn't as dramatic or exciting, but it's hard to hope for anything different when she's involved.

This chapter has made me feel sorry for Dom in a way that the others haven't. It's done a great job in capturing that she feels hurt and betrayed, even though she's the one playing most of the pranks thus far. She's a really great antagonist because she is so complex.

The Char/James relationship continues to be cute. I agree with the other reviewer, she's going to have to be the one to say something because James is acting way too scared! Haha! It's so funny that he acts all tough, but he can't admit feelings for one girl. I love reading about their interactions.

You continue to write James's voice wonderfully! His character shines through so well, as do the others. The characters are the best thing about this story. I'm so invested in their lives and stories because you write them so well!

As always I can't wait to read more! Another wonderful chapter! :D

Author's Response: Wow I'm glad you like the chapter, I really wasn't that happy with it, but if you think it flowed well that was really my main worry. Yes, the other reviewer seemed pretty intruiged by Sisi's problems, hmm. I love Rory and James, they are such lovely people to write about because they both have easy characters to portray. Thanks again for the review, hopefully the next few will be updated just as quickly because they are all ready and written and only need to be Validated.
~Char


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Review #57, by guest Girl Troubles

10th August 2012:
I hope James decided to be the bigger person and actually talks to Dominique about what's going on. I wonder about Roisia -Fred problems? Glad that Rory's fine (or so it seems). Great to see that they're not succumbing to the hag. I hope to see McGonagall squish her. Figuratively, of course.
James is a scared idiot. Will Char have to be the one to tell him first? Wonder what it'll take.
I like it!

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Review #58, by luvinpadfoot Latin For Evil

7th August 2012:
Yay! A speedy chapter! :D

Oh god, the Umbridge reincarnate makes me laugh so hard! I love how James and the others are making her as crazy as possible. I can see more hi jinks in the future for them. Will they drive her as crazy as Harry drove the real Umbridge with the centaurs? That would be hilarious.

What else are they going to be doing to here? And how is she going to punish them? I have a feeling James is going wind up with a whole lot of detentions...

And the only thing I could think about when you described her was AVPS's Umbridge. HAHA!

Gryffindor really is dominant at Quidditch! Wow! Of course James wants to be the star so Al can't catch the snitch too soon. That's so typical of his character. He really can be an arrogant bloke sometimes, can't he?

The plot here was kind of ish and a little dull as with most filler chapters, but I loved your characterization of Al. I hope there will be some more of him in the rest of the story! James was spot on about Al secretly liking playing seeker. I could definitely see that. Lily was also a bit funny, especially about why she was late and James's reaction to it.

Aw! The scene with James and Char was adorable! It's so cliche how the guy gives the girl his sweater, but it never stops being sweet! I bet it doesn't take Char much longer to see that James secretly loves her.

I still love James's inner commentary on everything that happens around him! Who knew he had such a potty mouth? Haha, it seems like the Umbridge reincarnate brings out the worst in him.

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter! Great job, as usual! You've got amazingly vivid characters and I'm looking forward to seeing more Dom/Char fights!

Author's Response: Yes this chapter was very ish, out of all the ones I've written it has been my least favourite but as you are probably aware, it was necessary to show all the characters. I hope the next chapter isn't too bad but it's also a little disjointed. However all the chapters after that really improve and, the plot gets more interesting.
I'm glad you seen to like all the characters, I wasn't so sure if I got them how other people imagined them but this was how I imagined them.
Thanks for reading and reviewing every chapter, it really means a lot!
~Char


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Review #59, by luvinpadfoot Waste of Energy

3rd August 2012:
I feel really bad for Char. Dom too, a little, but it's easier to have sympathy for Char who really hasn't done much wrong (except snap at Dom for something minor). They seem like they would be such good friends too and that makes me sad.

I'm glad Rory's making friends. I hope she'll be even happier in the coming chapters. She's so sweet and adorable and James is cute when he worries about her.

The Quidditch try outs were very well done! I was hoping Dom wouldn't get the spot, which I know is mean but Char deserved it more. What James said about why he gave it to her was so perfect, she did want to more. It seems mean to give it to the person who wanted it out of spit.

That prank Dom played was just so cruel! I can't believe she would do that! It didn't hurt only Char, it hurt Sisi as well. No wonder James is angry at her as well. I hope they don't play many more pranks on each other. It just seems so mean of them! Although I couldn't really blame Char if she wanted to get revenge.

And James loves Char! I knew it! It's so cute how Sisi told him before he could admit it to himself! That scene was written so perfectly! And he loves her 'a little bit'. Mhmm, sure it's a only a little bit. ;)

I don't really have any constructive criticism for this chapter. Maybe slow it down a little or some more description? I love James's inner thoughts and the dialogue is brilliant! Freddie's crack about the girls PMSing made me laugh so hard!

I hope we'll have more Rory and James/Char moments in the next few chapters. I'm really looking forward to them! This is such a great chapter and story!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it, it means a lot to me that you've reviewed all the chapters so thanks a lot for that! Your right, Dom's being kind of mean, and Rory is lovely, she's not a big part but she's one of my favourites. The next few chapters have been written so hopefully they will be up very soon. Thanks again for all the positive-ness!
~Char


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Review #60, by guest The Home of House Elves

1st August 2012:
Read it, liked it, will come back for more ;)
Good dynamics, nice descriptions of all their relationships with each other and James is great -you portray him nicely.

Author's Response: Thank you, hopefully the next few chapters will be up soon because they're all written. Thanks for the review!!
~Char


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Review #61, by luvinpadfoot The Home of House Elves

24th July 2012:
Hahaha! Freddie makes me laugh so hard! He's got to be one of the greatest supporting characters ever! He's only been with Claire for like a day and he's already on to Sisi! It's hilarious to read.

I like the introduction of the new characters, especially Sisi and her sister. They seem really interesting and like they'll add more to the plot. I wonder if Sisi and Freddie really are meant to be, or if she's just another crush...

Every new detail of Aurora and Char's lives is so fascinating! I can't believe Rory got expelled from Beauxbatons, she's such a sweet kid! It does make a lot of sense, though. I feel so bad for her with all that bullying! I hope Hogwarts does turn out to be better for her.

James and Char's relationship is so adorable! I love how obvious it is, yet it doesn't seem at all cliche. I can't wait to see more! They're going to make the cutest couple, I just know it.

And oh, the Umbridge Reincarnate! That's a great idea! It's so clever I can't wait to see what else you do with her.

The only suggestion I have is to keep an eye on your verb tenses. You slipped from past to present and back again in this chapter.

Another great update! I love this story so much and I'm really looking forward to more! =D

Author's Response: Yup I realised the tenses thing after I posted, so hopefully I will be able to change it very soon! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and your updates have been really encouraging, so thanks for that! Enjoy the next chapter when it comes out!
~Char


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Review #62, by luvinpadfoot Hufflepuff of the Bumblebees?

17th July 2012:
The end kind of surprised me there. I guess Charla's a little overprotective too, although not without good reason. I hope she and Dom make up soon. I'd feel so bad for them to be fighting for long!

I think Hufflepuff is a great House for Rory, even if she's not with her older sister. Being so quiet and shy she's sure to make a lot of friends there. I really hope she starts feeling better about herself soon. =(

James's reaction at the beginning was so sweet. I'm glad he thinks of Rory as a little sister. With so many Wotters at Hogwarts, she's got to have plenty of built in family/friends!

There were a few grammatical errors. Nothing major, but you might want to have someone look over them or edit them yourself. (And it's spelled Hufflepuff)

Your characterization is lovely! I absolutely adore all of the characters. James is great- hilarious with a bit of an ego, but he can really be so sweet! And all the supporting characters are great as well!

I really can't wait for more of this story! It's so good!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews and support!! It really means a lot for me. I'm glad you like my characters and hope you keep reading!! The next chapter should be up really soon. Also I'll check over my stuff and edit all the grammar and spelling mistakes, sorry about them!
~Char


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Review #63, by luvinpadfoot The Hogwarts Express, and Other Minor Details

17th July 2012:
Aw poor Rory! I hope she's better now. Is that why Charlie moved to France? I feel so bad for her that she does that! (trying to keep my review 12+)

James is still as funny as ever, although I hope we'll get to see a more serious side to him soon. The comment about Rory at the end makes me think that we will. (=

I'm also excited to see more of his relationship with Charla. They haven't been close in a year, so them rekindling a friendship/relationship ought to be pretty funny!

Another great chapter! Off to the next one! =D

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Review #64, by luvinpadfoot Those People

17th July 2012:
I love James's character! He's so funny and down to earth. The way he talked about his relationship with Claire made me laugh. And I really couldn't picture him ever babysitting Lolly. That cracked me up.

He's so protective over Lily, not wanting her to go to the part or date the Davies guy. I could totally see where he was coming from. I look forward to more of his relationship with his family!

I love Charlie! What James needs is a girl who can beat him at his own game. =)

Great first chapter! Now I'm off to read the others.

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Review #65, by my love for teddy lupin Those People

4th July 2012:
wait i don't get the ages at all and is albus in this too?

Author's Response: Ok well the Potter/Weasley family are all how the book tells us, Charla is the same age as James (currently 16) and her sister is the same age as Lily (13). Millie is fourteen and her sister is 5. I realised that isn't so clear so as soon as I can edit again I will!! And yes Albus will be in the story, just not that chapter!

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