Reading Reviews for Logarithmic
66 Reviews Found

Review #26, by PaulaTheProkaryote (1)

14th August 2017:

So it's been awhile since I've read this story and even though I love it and it's in my favorites, I didn't leave reviews because I'm exponentially shadier than I pretend I am. So I'm going back and rereading to celebrate the update and in the mean time I'm rectifying my review neglect. I had to wait for a day that I had free from any obligations so here we are!

So when I first read your story I didn't remember Eloise at all and I thought she was an OC. By the time I was like halfway through the story I remembered her. As such, your story really defines my concept of her character.

Eloise is beyond relatable. Who didn't start off as ugly kids? (people that peaked in high school, but that was rhetorical). My brother used to call me the family rat and would tell me he was going to set traps out for me and would taunt me with cheese (I was very pink and rodent looking as a baby, but still, rude) so Vincent was super relatable for me.

I'm curious, does any of your relationships with your siblings bleed through here?

This chapter with all of the hateful comments about Eloise reminds me of how much I hate teenagers sometimes. Awful little creatures.

Also that makes me want to write a pimply heroine just for young Eloises out there.

The end of the chapter has left me cheering Eloise on and ready for her to dominate 6th year.

As expected, it was a great introductory chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hi, Paula!

"Exponentially shadier", pah. You're lovely is what you are.

Eloise isn't an OC, no, but she may as well be given how little we hear of her in the books. I think she's mentioned twice, maybe three times at most.

I'm so happy you think she's relatable! She's probably the character I feel proudest of to this day, so this is like you telling a young mother how pretty their baby is.

That's a terrible thing to say on your brother's part, but I have to say I laughed. Traps, poor Paula! Eloise's and Vincent's relationship is kind of inspired by the relationship I have with my siblings, except I'm the Vincent in our situation, and we argue a lot more than I've depicted the Midgeon siblings doing. Hopefully that'll stop when we all grow up a bit!

Teenagers, sigh. I wouldn't go back to those times even if someone paid me. Once was more than enough.

Thanks for the review! :)

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Review #27, by PaulaTheProkaryote (9)

19th May 2016:
Hey there!

Thank you for the lovely shout out! I can't even begin to tell you how happy I was to see another chapter up!

Even though this chapter is dialogue heavy, I think it was very necessary and I still enjoyed it. I don't think you really need to add anything.

I really liked the insight into Cormac's home life and even though I'm sure he loves going home to see all of the children and his family, I imagine it must be very stressful every time he is there. He's so very sweet with his siblings. ALSO, WHY IS HE BEING SUCH A SNOT? I'm dying to know! I'm sure we will get more detail in the next chapter so I'm hanging on by the seat of my pants (I'm not sure if that's the phrase exactly, but you know what I mean)! Complete side note, I love the names you picked out for Cormac's family because they are exactly the unpronounceable accurate names they should be (at least to me. I'm terrible with names though).

Eloise and Wayne! Well, they are both very practical about it at least! I'm a firm believer that someone always catches feelings though so I'm worried about that whole scenario. Maybe not though. I'm hoping not.

Overall, I loved the chapter and I absolutely cannot wait for the next one! I hope to see it up soon!

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Review #28, by TheGoldenKneazle (4)

14th May 2016:

This is sooo exciting!!! I can't wait to find out more about these wonderfully-written minor characters (you know me, bloody adore minor characters written as mains!). You've made wonderful use of our favourite Trio-era characters too, ie. it was lovely to see Neville :D

and fabulous us of families demonstrating the effects of war!! (I am having vague St Mungo's-related plunnies atm. You are not helping with endearing injured characters, Val.)

Lots of hugs and love from your should-be-studying-for-exams mate xoxoxo

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Review #29, by PaulaTheProkaryote (8)

27th March 2016:
I had every single intention of reviewing this chapter by chapter. Then I got completely sucked into the story.

You haven't updated in months (at all this year) and I'm sure you're busy with your other WIPs...BUT YOU CAN'T LEAVE IT THERE!

I have to know more! I love Eloise. She's probably the best OC of all time. ALL TIME. She is so complex and interesting and slightly flawed which makes her even stronger of a character.

You really bring out Cormac's charm without breaking his character. He's a big, fat, whiny baby but he's also got another side that Harry never bothered with so of course we never saw it in canon. I love, love, love your characterization of him.

All of your Hufflepuffs are brilliant. They each have their own personality and feel very realistic.

I also adore the way you've intertwined canon so flawlessly in your story. This really feels like the bits we didn't get.

So, overall, I love your story and I'm not too proud to beg that you continue it. SERIOUSLY. I promise I'll review incessantly and you'll be happy and I'll be happy and we will all be happy, but you just can't leave it on that kind of cliffhanger! What is wrong with Cormac? Is he jealous? Maybe it has to do with Hermione? I don't know, but I need to know!

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Review #30, by nott theodore (8)

6th January 2016:
Hello, love! ♥ Ah, I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to get to reading and reviewing this - Christmas and New Year just turned out to be crazily busy and I've been snatching bits of time to spend on HPFF because I really want to be more active this year (and I'm procrastinating essays, which always helps :P).

This was such an interesting chapter! There's so much going on here that I loved. I really liked the way you opened it with Eloise being back at home for Christmas and the way that it feels so different being back with family when you've been away for a while. It's different since Eloise is still being taken care of at Hogwarts and she's with her friends, but I think you captured that sense of homecoming - and the way parents take care of you again - really well. I liked the Midgeon household as well.

The spell to help Vincent manage with his deafness is so clever! I don't know how you came up with it but I thought it was such a brilliant idea to include something like that - I've always really wondered what magical versions of medical aids would exist in the HP world and I always love reading about details like that. The explanation of how it worked, with the letters changing in size depending on the volume and proximity of the speaker, was so interesting! I could see how it'd get to be annoying for Vincent, though, if people are shouting or having a conversation that he doesn't want to be a part of. I kind of wonder whether or not he'll use that in the future, in the war... It could prove really useful but also dangerous too, if he does.

Your descriptions ♥ I loved the part when you described the snow crying. It's such a different image - so striking and unusual - and it really had an impact.

I felt so sorry for Eloise when she was talking about the work she does in the Hospital Wing. Of course, I think it's great that she's doing it and it's clearly something she enjoys and is good at, but even so, it's a lot for her to see and deal with. It's so horrible that so many young people are dealing with those problems, and the Carrows haven't even taken over yet - if she's still at Hogwarts next year, it'll surely just get worse.

Hmm, I'm so curious about what's going on with Cormac! He's so rude to her at the end of this chapter, which is just unacceptable and unless there's a good reason for it, I feel like it'll take quite a while for Eloise to forgive him (though she's a lot more forgiving than I am, I'm sure). My theories right now are that he might be jealous, or there could be something else going on? Something more serious, perhaps? I'm so intrigued - hopefully you get chance to write another chapter soon so I can find out!

This was a great chapter and I really loved reading it! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #31, by nott theodore (7)

1st December 2015:
Hello again, lovely!

Ah, this was an even better chapter! I actually think it might be my favourite one so far and now I'm just left wanting more (and tell me next time you update because I am terrible at checking social media and I miss lots of things, yes please? :P).

Your writing is just... I'm so jealous of your writing, you know that? It flows so smoothly (you edit so well, I never notice any typos at all in this) and it's just all so believable that I love reading it (I don't have tonnes of time right now - really need some sleep :P - so sorry if this review is a little shorter than usual!).

Your dialogue is so brilliant! It flows so naturally - it always sounds exactly like the sort of conversation that you're trying to capture with it and that's so great, because it works really smoothly and it's so easy to get a good reading of the dynamic between the characters who are involved.

And your descriptions ♥ I've said about this in other reviews, I'm sure, and you already know how much I love your writing (like all of it, I want to read all the stories :P) but your description here was amazing. I loved the imagery with the sunsets in particular - that line just grabbed me when I was reading, and I sat back a bit like 'wow'. You manage to balance the description so well with the rest of the narrative and dialogue and that takes a lot of skill, and just goes to show how great your writing is.

Eloise and Cormac ♥ I kind of wanted to see a little bit of that scene between them from Cormac's point of view too, but it was so great to read more about them! I love the way that you're staying true to Eloise's character, though, and even though she's finding herself attracted to him (Susan was so right!), nothing has happened yet - she's not the sort of girl who would rush into anything, especially at this sort of time. But it was so great seeing more interaction between them, and a little bit of flirting, and finding out more about Cormac's family as well. And some of the dialogue was just hilarious :P I can't wait to read more of the two of them together!

It was great to read that things seem to be going a little bit better for Eloise and her family, too, at the moment - I just really hope it lasts and that there's nothing terrible that happens over the holidays. It's great her brother is regaining some of his hearing! And I liked the way you showed the Ministry is trying to maintain a veil of normality with the Quidditch games and things like that while the war is going on, too - it seems like the sort of thing that would happen there, for sure - and sometimes it might even be what's needed, so people don't forget themselves and forget how to have fun when everything is difficult.

One of my favourite things about this story is your characterisation; so often, when I read stories featuring Hufflepuff characters, they're all so similar, and just all so nice. And while that's true for most of them, generally, I love the way that in this story you capture the different personalities, and the individual traits - like the way that Zach can be really annoying, and Eloise's language - and really make sure that they're included so your characters are fully-formed.

The friendship between this group is great, too, and I loved the way that they treated Eloise as much as they could for her birthday, and that they'd been planning it for a while. The birthday gifts were perfect, too, and so sweet - the little things like that really show how close-knit this group of friends is, and I really hope that they manage to get through the war okay together!

Another wonderful chapter, Val, and I'm looking forward to the next time you get a chance to update this! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #32, by nott theodore (6)

1st December 2015:
Val ♥ ♥ ♥ You, as always, are far too lovely - I didn't realise that there were two new chapters of this story up that I'd missed, and you dedicated this one to me ♥

I love this story so much, and it's so good to see it developing here. I really liked the way that the shorter scenes at the start of this chapter gave us an insight into the way that life at Hogwarts is trying to continue in spite of the war that's going on outside the school walls, which is slowly creeping in and affecting the lives of the students that live there.

It was great to see the little snippets of Cormac and Eloise on their own with their friends and to see how they're both beginning to notice each other independently more and more - how even their friends around them are starting to notice that, too. In a way, it's really lovely that something so ordinary - and yet new and brilliant - can happen in the midst of the war that's raging around them. It shows the way that life goes on and these students won't let it take away everything from them, even if their families and their lives are affected by it.

The feelings that they're getting for each other - more Cormac in this chapter, it seems - are so cute ♥ He seems to be falling for her quite badly already and I'm so intrigued to see more of this!

I loved the scene between Eloise and Cormac, too! I'm so glad that she apologised - I think she probably had a right to shout at him, in the circumstances, but there could have been reasons for Cormac missing the library session that she didn't know about - if there were, I'm intrigued to find out what was behind it. And they've rearranged the tutoring to happen tonight! Yay, I'm so excited to see more of the two of them together and see their acquaintance/friendship/relationship (whatever it is exactly that's going on between them right now :P) developing!

The ending of the chapter was so intriguing! I love seeing Eloise working in the hospital wing, because it really adds in another dimension to what happened at Hogwarts and the opportunities that were available to students there. It maybe even foreshadows what her role in the battle might be?

The Slytherins - Malfoy and Blaise - were really well written. I wasn't expecting the two of them to be the boys who walked in at the end, but at the same time I thought you wrote them really well. There wasn't the same sense of familiarity that we get when we read about Malfoy from Harry's perspective and that worked because Eloise isn't the sort of person who's encountered him as much, I imagine. Their hostility towards her at the beginning of the interaction made a lot of sense; I liked the way that it showed Slytherins aren't completely uncaring (because I hate that trope) and that they're protective of their own. As sad as the last scene was, I thought it was so effective - you did a great job showing how far-reaching this war is, and the way that it's affecting everyone, no matter what house they're in or what age they are. Aloysius is just a little boy, really, and I'm so impressed with the way you added a whole new dimension to the Parkinson family and I felt so sorry for him.

As always, this was another wonderful chapter, Val! Reading onto chapter seven now!

Sian :)

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Review #33, by nott theodore (5)

11th August 2015:
Salut, Val! ♥ And aw, I got a mention in this chapter - you're more than welcome, because I'm always excited to catch up with another chapter of this wonderful story! ♥

I really think you did a fantastic job of portraying the group of friends after the events of yesterday, when Hannah's left the school and the rest of them have to stay behind, not knowing what to do. I can't really imagine how it would feel to know that your best friend's mum has been murdered and you can't do anything about it to help her. And on top of that, it's not the only incident; so many of these Hufflepuffs have already got family who have suffered at the hands of, or been killed by, the Death Eaters and it's so sad that they're being forced to relive the trauma that it first caused them because of this incident. Then there's the fact that they're all so young and shouldn't have to go through that pain and loss and worry that this is what their lives will be consumed by in the next few years. They shouldn't have to accept that murder and death is going to become so commonplace for them.

I'm kind of curious that McLaggen actually cared enough to apologise, since he doesn't seem like the sort of person who would do that often, and I'm intrigued about what reason he was going to provide for not having made it to the tutoring session when Eloise was waiting for him. Maybe we'll find out from his perspective soon? But he really picked his moment badly, approaching her when she's already fed up of people staring at her because one of their friends is missing at the school, and I don't blame her for shouting at him, to be honest, with everything she's endured recently.

I love the way you're portraying the Hufflepuffs in this story! I think that sometimes, authors don't give them enough of a personality - they're all the same, kind and loyal, but there's so much more to everyone than that and I like the fact you're showing it here. They can be mean and tough if they're doing it from loyalty, and the group of them stick together. I really liked Eloise's interaction with the older students too, and the way that all of them are starting to realise that they need to look out for each other.

Poor Henry! That's such an awful thing for him to have had to go through and witness - I'm glad that at least he has his friends around him and they want to take care of him, although his comment about not being able to believe he wasn't still broken until other people stopped treating him that way was really accurate and insightful. I liked the friendship between him and Eloise though, and the way that they joke together about literature and things.

It didn't seem strange to me at all that Eloise seemed so comfortable with the Hufflepuff boys - I was glad that she was, and that they were good enough friends to want to look after her and Susan! It makes sense to me, since the Hufflepuffs are loyal anyway and look after each other, but they've been in school together for over five years by this point so they probably would have formed a friendship like this by now. I think that part of the reason Eloise seems so quiet and shy from what we know of her is that she probably is around those she doesn't know well or isn't comfortable with - the only glimpse we get of her in the books is from afar - but then when she's with people she considers friends, she's a lot more open.

I feel so sorry for the group, though I was glad to see them all together and talking about things - not being able to contact Hannah can't make things any easier for them, since they don't know what's happening and feel like they're cut off from her, almost as if they've lost her as well. I really liked Wayne in this chapter, too - he's so sensible, and he really seems to have grasped what's going to happen with this war, and the way that they need to stick together to make it through everything that's going to happen to them during it. It was so sweet to see him remembering the human factor of it, the loss and the pain, and trying to encourage them all to stick around. He seems like a great person to have around.

This was a great chapter, Val! I hope you manage to keep writing and congratulations on passing your exams and first year! ♥

Sian :)

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Review #34, by nott theodore (4)

7th March 2015:
Val! Yay, you're back writing again and I'm now up-to-date with this story - hopefully this is enough to convince you that this chapter was great and that you should continue writing more of this story!

It was really horrible of Cormac not to turn up at the library when they'd organised to do it the day before - Eloise doesn't have to give up her time to help him improve his Herbology grade and it's so rude of him to leave her waiting there without any explanation of why he hasn't arrived. I wonder why he didn't arrive, though, and whether it was because he was nervous or forgot or just couldn't be bothered. He seemed keen on going and spending time with Eloise when they agreed to meet in the library yesterday!

It's a tiny thing, but I really like the way that you don't forget to include all of the work that they have in sixth year here, because we know that they felt snowed under with the increase in the workload. But you managed to write that in a way that kept it interesting, and I felt sorry for Eloise and how stressed she was with all the work she had to do. When you think of all the other things she had to do, it was even meaner of Cormac to leave her waiting.

I really like the friendship between Eloise and Susan here in this chapter, and the way that you write the dialogue between the two of them makes it seem like a very natural friendship, and the two are so believable. It's like your characters breathe, and could be real - in the books we barely get a mention of Eloise Midgeon and there's only a little more about Susan Bones, but here they seem like fully-rounded characters.

I really liked Susan's desire and drive for revenge, and her anger at the way things have happened in the Ministry and the lack of news in the Prophet after the change of Minister. It's an understandable reaction to her aunt's death, and we know that she was in the DA last year too, so that desire to fight and do the right thing was really convincing and believable. I love the idea of her reading Ministry papers illegally - Hufflepuffs are often portrayed as just nice people, and kind of boring, so I love the fact that you made them individuals here and that they're just as fun as other people.

Susan's comment on bravery was so true! I can imagine that Eloise would feel like she wasn't as brave as Susan with all of the things that Susan says, but also since she wasn't a part of the DA last year, but bravery really is standing up for your convictions. After all, Neville's in Gryffindor because he's so brave and loyal, but that comes out in very different ways to someone like Harry, for example.

I really liked the little mention of how good-looking Cormac is, and that being part of the reason that Eloise had agreed to tutor him. It's nice to see that even though she's not going to be easily won over (or as easily won over as Cormac would hope), she is still affected by his looks.

Getting called to the headmaster's office is never good news for someone like Eloise, and it's horrible to see that the war's now affected her own family very personally. I really liked the way that she reacted to the news when her father told her - it was so believable, and the fact that her father didn't tell her off for swearing said a lot, too.

Poor Vince! I don't know what his stance really is in this war, but I'm pretty sure that nobody in the WWN building actually deserved to be attacked in any way, and for him to lose his hearing completely in the attack, and at such a young age as well, is awful. I loved the way that Eloise treated it though, trying not to make a big deal of it but still visiting the library to see what she could do to help.

Then, just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse, Eloise returns to school and finds out that Hannah's left because her mum's been murdered. I feel so sorry for all three of the Hufflepuff girls because of that, since Susan thought she was being left alone and Eloise's brother's been attacked and Hannah's mum's been killed. It really goes to show how far-reaching this war is, and how indiscriminate the attacks are. Susan's realisation that she's just a child and can't do anything was kind of sad, but when you remember what she does as part of the DA in her seventh year, you realise what 'children' can do.

This was a great chapter, Val - I hope that you have inspiration to write some more of this story soon, I'm still really enjoying it!

Sian :)

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Review #35, by nott theodore (3)

7th March 2015:
Val! ♥ How on earth have I missed two chapter updates on this story? Here to rectify the lack of reviews on them now!

I really liked the way that you opened this chapter, with Eloise getting frustrated by the lack of privacy that she has and wanting to get away from people so that she gets some time to herself. Without explicitly saying anything about it, you've added something to Eloise's characterisation and an element of her personality. I also liked the detail too, because I can imagine that at Hogwarts it would be difficult to get time to yourself.

I really liked the idea of Eloise going to the greenhouses to go and do some work there; it's helped to give us an idea about what she enjoys as a student and also showed another side to her character. I love the idea of Professor Sprout letting some of her favourite students come and spend their time in the greenhouses and do some work with the plants. She definitely seems like the sort of teacher who's more maternal in some ways than McGonagall, and I imagine that she'd really take care of the students in her house.

It was great to see Neville in the greenhouses as well! I love the idea of him being able to escape from things and spend some time in the greenhouses, which would be really good preparation for him if he was going to become the Herbology teacher in the future, as we know he does. You wrote him very well - his portrayal was definitely in character and I liked the idea of his friendship with Eloise, as well as Eloise's thoughts on him being a member of Gryffindor house. I can imagine them being friends with each other and that friendship growing out of the different scenarios that you described here in that section.

It was great to see the way that you segued into Cormac's point of view from the section about Eloise. I really like the idea of him being interested in her because she's elusive and unobtainable, even if she isn't actually making any effort to appear that way. It's different for him not to have girls falling at his feet and so it's great to see him obsessing over Eloise and wanting to meet her again and finding out her name. I also really liked the anger when he saw that she was with Neville, and the arrogance that shrouded his thoughts when he wondered how on earth Neville could compare with him; that felt very in character from what we know of Cormac so far.

The continuation into the Potions lesson was great, as we got to see more of him and learn a little more about his character - he actually is clever but he often doesn't bother using his brains or making an effort. The inclusion of Amortentia was interesting, too. I wonder whether what Cormac smelt in the potion will be connected to Eloise in the future.

From there I really liked the way that the story flowed through to his Herbology lesson, and there he suddenly encounters Eloise in a way that he's probably been hoping for. I loved the detail about Sprout's salary being partially related to how people achieve in their NEWTs because that really seemed believable.

And then Cormac's presented with this opportunity, to be tutored by Eloise, and I really like the way that you've thought of to throw the two of them together and make them spend time with each other - I suspect that, even if Cormac was willing to, Eloise wouldn't have been that interested in spending time with him outside of tutoring, at least initially, if someone had asked her to. I really liked the way that she kept her cool and reminded him of his appearance in the hospital wing, too, which embarrassed him - she's definitely not going to make things easy for him, and I'm looking forward to seeing where things go from here!

Sian :)

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Review #36, by Karen (4)

24th January 2015:
I am quite enjoying the story, keep going! Your main character is well sketched out

Good Luck

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #37, by Karen D (3)

23rd September 2014:
I enjoy your writing style, good characters. please keep going!

Author's Response: Thank you!

I haven't written anything in a long time and it's still a bit of a struggle, but reviews like yours and seeing that people are still reading are what motivate me. I don't want to jinx it, but there is a chance of a new chapter coming soon, I hope!

Thanks again c:

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Review #38, by MuellerKim (1)

23rd July 2014:
What a nice idea for a story, I've never read any material about Eloise before. I like how you've started off by giving a broad background to her character; I basically know nothing about her sothis wasreally interesting.

Author's Response: Thank you, I hope you find the rest of the story interesting too!

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Review #39, by marauderfan (3)

23rd October 2013:
Hello! Great chapter. I like seeing Eloise's interactions with Professor Sprout, and I love her friendship with Neville! I think it's quite realistic as well. I could totally see Neville as a Hufflepuff if he wasn't a Gryffindor, and he seems to get on really well with Eloise at least.

I really enjoy the two POV's. Cormac's is pretty funny. Eloise's introduction by way of embarrassing him, was great. Someone needs to take him down a notch anyway, and Eloise has a kind of quiet, unassuming way of doing exactly that.

Aw, thanks for the special mention in your author's note, you're so sweet! ♥ Lovely chapter and I'll be back to read the next whenever it's posted :)

Author's Response: Hi again!

I'm really happy you liked the interactions in this chapter! I think Eloise identifies with Neville because he's slightly excluded and Eloise feels like that too. Even though she has her friends, being HP does lead to a strong sense of isolation, and her relationship with Neville works because they respect the other's need to leave questions unanswered.

Cormac definitely needs to be taken down a notch! More of that will happen, fear not.

Thank you for such a lovely review, I'm really sorry I didn't answer earlier! ♥

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Review #40, by soufflegirl99 (3)

19th October 2013:
I am so pleased that you added another chapter on Log! I love it almost as much as Lockhart loves himself!! :)

I love the way Eloise is friends with Neville, that is so sweet, and their friendship made me squeal. I loved the characterisation you put in too, it made the characters so much more believable, and the description really paints a picture in your head. I loved the thoughts of Cormac, he's so egotistical, but you write his thoughts and feelings amazingly well. It's so realistic!

I liked the way you included some teachers in there too! I'm personally rooting for some reference/anecdote to Umbridge action in DADA as a terrible teacher in the fifth year, but it was fun seeing them in two perfectly described lessons. I liked the way their dialogue was flung back and forth, I can tell they both kind of have this banter going, and natural chemistry going on, that I LOVE!

The plot is going at a nice steady pace, and it's intriguing to read, and I enjoyed the way you split up the points of view, it made it more gripping! The dialogue is perfect for each character, by the way, I loved Slughorns "m'boy." I can;t wait to see how you tackle Snape as a professor hahah! :D

Overall, another fantastic chapter that was as gripping and awesome as always! I love it!

Sophie :D

Author's Response: You truly must love Log very much then!

I'm so happy you like Eloise and Neville! I can genuinely see them as friends, and possibly more if there wasn't Cormac in the picture now... Cormac is such a horribly fun character to write, expect more egotism soon, and lots of it.

Ooh, you just gave me an idea! Mentions of Umbridge may appear, just you wait...

SNAPE. Um. How about never, ever, ever? It's something I hadn't about, and it terrifies me to write him, so we'll see, I suppose.


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Review #41, by AlmostInvisible  (3)

18th October 2013:
This fic is great! I like how you're using canon characters that are so often forgotten. To be honest, it took me a second to remember Eloise Midgeon at all. Anyway, I have decided that I like this story and plan on keeping up with it. Fantabulous job! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Eloise is fun to write because there is so much bare canvas to work on. I'm very happy you're enjoying the story so far :)

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Review #42, by TheHouseElf (2)

1st September 2013:
Last chapter that I needed to catch up on! Huzzah :D

I love how separate Cormac and Eloise's lives are at this moment. They are completely different people who probably never had a chance or never wanted to interact before. But you have teased us Val, you've teased us cruelly with a tiny look at what is to come, and you've set up the basis for another encounter brilliantly with the handkerchief (Do people actually have those? I've never met anyone with an embroidered handkerchief in my life, though I'll admit it seems like a pretty cool thing to have in your pocket).

I really want to see more of Eloise and Cormac, so you'd better get onto that next chapter :D

And thanks for the mention! YOU'RE AWESOME TOO!


You are so right about their lives being separated and them being completely different people. When I write this, I generally have at least one moment where I stop, glare at the screen and wonder /why/ I started writing such an unprobable pairing.

So it really makes me happy that you want to see more of Eloise and Cormac because if it wasn't for people like you I wouldn't be writing this in the first place.

Yes, people actually have those! It's a very bourgeois thing to have, so I assumed it'd work for Purebloods too -- I'm sure Draco Malfoy even has his initials embroidered on his socks, no? ;)


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Review #43, by patronus_charm (2)

22nd August 2013:
Hi, Val! Look at me, getting all excited with a new review thread and doing them quickly!

I liked Helen Midgeon's characterisation. She seemed to be quite a domineering woman so I can see why Eloise may have become shy from growing up with her. The only tiny thing I would suggest is that she seemed a bit too similar to Molly Weasley, so if she appears in the future try to give her more unique characteristics and then she'll be great!

I can really see why she won the People Person Diadem as she has this lovely air about which just makes me want to spend time with her! She has these great internal monologues too, which really draw you in and get to know her.

One small thing, I felt that Eloise was a little too detached when Susan started crying about her. I understand it's a person she doesn't know, I guess I would have just liked to have seen more warmth there as it was just Susan talking and Eloise standing there. So maybe just a small line like 'are you ok blah blah blah'. :)

The way you introduce all of Eloise's friends is really good. Though we know them from Harry's perspective you put a fresh spin on them and made them Eloise's if that makes sense. I can't wait to get to know them even more!

I never imagined there to be a Hufflepuff with evil thoughts! That made me laugh a lot, and I'm beginning to feel sorry for poor old Neville who ended up married to Hannah. Again, I really liked what you did here by putting a spin on the Hufflepuff cliche.

Ah, man, just this one line 'Why?' made me laugh so much! I don't even know why, I just think that paired with his egotistical thoughts had me cracking up as it was just so him. I liked how you made him face another injury as it tied in with him eating those Doxy Eggs. I have a feeling this is going to be a long-running joke!

So that was their first meeting? I really liked it as I hadn't imagined it to be like that! I'm eager to see what Cormac ends up doing with this handkerchief!

Other than those few minor areas, I thought this was a really great chapter and I can't wait to see what happens next :D


Author's Response: Hello, Kiana!

You thinking Helen is like Molly has absolutely made my day, because Helen is originally based off my mother. I'll try to make her more distinct as a character in the future though!

Aw, I'm happy you like Eloise! Following your advice, I tried to make her more present as a friend when Susan started crying, so thank you for pointing that out.

I'm having visions of Neville being bossed around by Hannah now, but don't worry too much, she's still a fundamentally nice person (who just happens to bite if you nag her too much)!

Cormac is SO unbelievably cocky, I can only ever write him for short time spans because otherwise I start getting murderous tendencies. I'm glad his injuries made you laugh, because yes, there will be some more!

Thank you so much for this lovely review and for your useful tips :)

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Review #44, by marauderfan (2)

2nd August 2013:
Hooray for random story-finding! Ok, so I have to admit the thing that drew me in was the pairing. I was like "This is the weirdest ship ever, I have to read it." :p Anyway, I love Hogwarts-era stories told by other viewpoints than Harry's. And I really like how you've characterised Eloise! She hardly gets a mention in the books - and even then, it's not a particularly nice one, just Ron's opinion when he's 14 and concerned with appearances. Anyway, I like your description of her, she seems very realistic, she's just a normal teenage girl dealing with all the issues that come with being a teenager, like acne, or how her friend spends time with another friend who she gets jealous of... she's so relatable.

The other Hufflepuffs are wonderful! Especially Hannah, how she started out very naive and sweet, and has become a cynic. I love the way you've described their friendship, and I look forward to reading more about them!

Oh and Cormac McLaggen. I hated him in the books! He's just as dislikeable here, but since it's from his perspective he's not quite as bad, if that makes sense. He's quite amusing in this, actually. I really, really can't wait to see Cormac and Eloise's next interaction. I don't think Eloise would put up with him for long! :P

You've done a fantastic job with this story so far and I'm really eager to read more, I cant wait to see where you take this.

Author's Response: And hooray for random reviews! This one made me smile like an idiot when I saw it.

It really is a weird ship, I don't even remember how I came up with it :P

What I really love about Eloise is that she was a direct witness of (almost) everything we know from the books, but there's so little we know about her that there's all the room one might want to develop her as a person.

Yay, I'm glad you found the characters realistic and that you like Hannah! And I'm immensely flattered that Cormac is more tolerable here. As for his next interaction with Eloise, just you wait -- chapter three should be up reasonably soon!

Thank you so much for reviewing :)

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Review #45, by nott theodore (2)

1st August 2013:
Okay, how have I missed the fact that you updated with a new chapter on this story?! This review definitely wouldn't have been so late if I had realised, I promise!

I love how original the idea for this story is! I don't think I've ever read a story focusing mainly on the Hogwarts era Hufflepuffs, and it's great to see them brought to life as likable people. And of course, the pairing of Cormac and Eloise - that's one I'd never have thought of but reading this story I'm already starting to ship them!

Your characters are so real. It's a pleasure to read about them, even if there wasn't actually much action in this chapter; I felt like I got to know Eloise and her friends well and they're all really believable. The dialogue between all the characters sounds very natural as well, particularly the opening with Eloise's mother warning her about staying out of trouble.

The only thing that confused me a little in this chapter was the mention of Oscar - I'm assuming he's the pet kneazle mentioned in the last chapter, but it might help to make that a little clearer.

I want to be friends with Eloise, actually! I liked the background about how she came to be friends with Susan and then Hannah, especially the fact that she was jealous of Hannah to begin with. I think that a lot of stories tend to characterise all Hufflepuffs as the same sort of person, but each of the girls have their own personality here, although they still fit into their house. Another element I liked was the gradual change that Eloise has been able to see in Hannah over the years - I can imagine her as the sort of person who goes on to fight with Harry and become the landlady of the Leaky Cauldron.

Cormac's introduction was brilliant! "Cormac McLaggen was having a foul first day back." I like the fact that he's clearly still the character that we see in the books, and you haven't erased all his faults so that he becomes this perfect guy that Eloise will immediately swoon over. He was already exaggerating what had happened and feeling sorry for himself rather than acknowledging his own mistakes. Then the fact that he clearly expected Eloise to be besotted by him and return fitted so well with his arrogance. And now he seems to be seeking a second meeting because she's one of the girls who hasn't fallen at his feet... I'm so intrigued to see how their relationship will develop through this story!

This was a fantastic chapter, and I hope the next one will be up soon (and sorry for the time it took for me to review this)!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian! Thank you so much for stopping by again!

One of the things I don't like about the books is how little 'screen time' is given to characters out of Gryffindor. We see things only through Harry's point of view, which considerably limits things, so it's a lot of fun to try and fill in the missing moments, especially with a Hufflepuff main character considering that they're the house we see the least of.

Aw, I'm so happy you think the characters sound real! It's the best thing you could say to make me happy.

Oscar is the Kneazle, yes. When I add a chapter image, I'll make sure to edit that.

Hufflepuffs do seem to often be categorised as meek, always happy people, don't they? It's as if people forget Tonks was a Hufflepuff too, and Tonks was certainly not meek.

Oh, Cormac. He's such an arrogant person that sometimes I just sit in front of my screen wondering what pushed me to choose to write him. I'm pretty sure that if we met in real life, we wouldn't get along very well!

I'm hoping to get chapter three up quite soon, yes! Thank you so much for leaving me another of your fabulous reviews :)

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Review #46, by ephemerals (1)

19th July 2013:
Hey, Val! I'm here for our Review Swap :)

This is a great first chapter! Even if it is short, I feel like it introduced Eloise quite well. It actually took me a few seconds to remember Eloise, and I'm really liking your portrayal of her - really realistic and obviously not perfect. I felt quite sorry for her, and I'm pretty apologetic over how much I laughed at those creative insults - they were great (even if they were mean, but still). She's relatable and seems like a really, really nice girl, and I can't wait to read more of her story.

I have to admit, I'm terribly jealous of your writing style. There's no problems with flow here at all, and apart from one mistake - "I thought babies were supposed to be cute - until when can we send this one back?" - with a possibly misplaced 'until', the chapter is fantastic! I'm really adoring this story and will definitely be reading on to see what happens :) Great job.

- Jenni

Author's Response: Hey Jenni!

I purposely chose Eloise because we know near to nothing about her -- more space for me to be creative! Laughing over the insults is alright, I did too and that was kind of the point, as horrible as that makes me sound. I'm really happy you like Eloise :)

I'm definitely editing that line as soon as I access a computer (though I have no idea when that'll be).

Thank you so much for the lovely review :(

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Review #47, by True Author (2)

17th July 2013:
This was longer and good! We are finally getting into the plot with Eloise meeting Cormac. =]
You know what? I HATED Cormac back in Half Blood Prince. Surprisingly, you make him sound better than the books to me. May it be his characterization or the plot you've set up. =]
I'm intrigued but I have a question. You described Eloise as ugly (rude but she was) and the girl on the banner and the CI looks pretty. :P I know I sound nitpicky but I couldn't figure it out. =]

Author's Response: Ack I feel really flattered that you preferred my Cormac! He is still going to be arrogant, of course, but I hope to make him likeable.

I don't find it nitpicky, your question makes a lot of sense. In my head, Eloise was quite ugly, but once she managed to get rid of her spots and got past what I like to call 'the years of doom', she became quitd pretty, kind of like in the story of the ugly duckling?

Thank you for the review!

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Review #48, by True Author (1)

17th July 2013:
Hi Val!

This is a great start. I have a thing for unusual ships and unexplored characters as long as they are canon, so I decided to go through this. =] It's wonderful!
Eloise Midegeon is really hard to write I think. Though she isn't really in the books she sounds silly and hungry for beauty. But I liked this version of her character.
Good job!

Ashwini =]

Author's Response: Hi!

I'm glad you liked my take on Eloise even though in the books she really doesn't come across as the most appealing character.

Thank you for the review :)

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Review #49, by academica (2)

15th July 2013:
Val! I've missed seeing you around--I guess that's due to exams, so I hope they're over soon! I'm just dropping by to leave you a little House Cup love :)

I love how you gave personalities to characters that we don't get to know very well in canon, especially with some of them being Hufflepuffs. It was interesting that you used Susan's experience to really show how dark things had become and how average people were trying to just cope with it all. I also kind of liked how Hannah wasn't all sunshine and roses; the dark characterization was interesting. I could see your Hannah and Neville having a serious conversation about what they thought of the war and everything that was lost.

I liked how you described the Hufflepuff common room, too. Again, not something I see much in fic. Your characterization of Eloise makes her seem like she belongs in Hufflepuff--although she was a Gryffindor in canon, right? Anyway, I like your version :) It's nice to see Hufflepuff characters written with real problems just like in other Houses.

Eloise's first meeting with Cormac was really cute. I love how much his personality contrasts with hers, and I'm sure the development of their pairing will be very interesting to observe. Did you mention her working in the Hospital Wing in chapter one? I must have forgotten about it.

Great job! Hope to see another chapter soon!

House Cup: Event 6.2

Author's Response: Exams are over! I just haven't got computer access, so updating is a bit difficult...

From canon, we know Hannah became the owner of the Leaky Cauldron, and I couldn't imagine a meek, sunshine-and-daisies character taking on that role. I'm glad you thought it worked!

It's not actually confirmed what house Eloise was in, and some sources have her placed in Hufflepuff. I put her there partly because she's further away from the Golden Trio, but also because it suits how I see her better.

I did not mention her working in the Hospital Wing before, come to think of it. Note to self: I know more than the readers and what is obvious for me isn't for everyone. I'll try to clarify soon...

Thank you for the review :)

And go Ravenclaw!

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Review #50, by Jchrissy (2)

2nd July 2013:
Hi perfect girl! I should be put in the gallows for how long this review has taken. Well, maybe just time out :P!

I really loved getting a look at Cormac in this one, and love even more that you kept him the same. He still has his attitude and you didn't try to buttery him up, which I really appreciate. And I think it will make his and Eloise's relationship even more fun once that gets underway ;)

The dynamic between Susan, Hannah, and Eloise was also a lot of fun. Neither of them seem too much alike, but it also doesn't feel like you made them different for the sake of making them different, if that makes sense. They're going to be a lot of fun, Susan and Hannah, to watch react to the future relationship! I'm excited for some serious chickmance.

I loved their first interaction, and that Cormac seemed to want to create a second despite Eloise's obvious disinterest. I'm super excited to see her thoughts about him! I was goign to tell you I want a new chapter to be posted NOW, but I remembered about the closure :(. Well, maybe if you would send a few chapters over to your beta.. ;). *pokes*.

You have such an awesome handle on these characters already, and I'm anxious to see how their story plays out!!

Author's Response: I could srick you in the gallows, but a) you couldn't beta anymore, and b) no more BTF unless you type with your toes. I'll forgive you.

Right now, Cormac's attitude and how Eloise is going to change it (or not) is my favourite part of writing this, which you'll realise once I manage to send you chapter trois to beta! He really is a self-loving idiot, but I think that's part of what makes him so interesting.

Susan, Hannah and Eloise together are also something.I love. I suppose that when you spend seven years of your life (and, let's be honest, those are probably some of the worst) with the same people 24/7, the bond you have with them isn't just friendship. But of course you realise it's probably going to somewhat weaken when you graduate, so you make the most of it while you can. My point? I can't remember.

I will send you chapter three when I get a computer, and I promise I'm doing it what I can!

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