I like how you introduced the Weasley's, not overloading on information but telling us just enough to know their personalities. I'd like to see more of them though, see how they interact with Sophie. I love how Sophie's nervous at the beginning, it's funny.Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I might edit it and give more detail though :) Report Review
i really like the story could you write some freddy POV just a suggestion you don't have to. i loved the way update so quickly and this is one of the very few stories with freddy in it. :)Author's Response: Freddie's POV? That's coming up near the end, you'll just have to wait... I'll try and update quickly again ;) I love your reviews :D Report Review
Love it! She's getting somewhere, it seems. Even though she doesn't know that magic's The Secret. I was sure Fred knew he was being tailed. But Kelly got him on camera, hehehe.
She's hilariously clueless. Fred's intense gaze that made her so uncomfortable and his smirk - priceless.
Anyway, good writing. Story's progressing nicely. I really, really like it! KudosAuthor's Response: Leela! Ah Freddie, who knows if he knows, for I, the all knowing writer, does not know if he knows... I'll just go and check with him and get back to you on that :P I love clueless characters, and yes, the story is actually progressing :D It will speed up soon, and then, it will come to an end *sniffles* Thanks for the review ;) Report Review
Thanx! Thus is the first time i've ever been mentioned in a story!!! Am I too weird for getting exited over this? Oh, well... :)
So, fast upfate... Merlin, those really are a rarity these days. And you know what, I think Sophie's growing on me. I really like her mad detective skills, though everytime she says there's no thing such as magic, I feel like shouting at my computer screen that, "Yes, Sophie dearest, there is!" Of course, I don't really do that, the fact that I laugh out loud while reading this already earns me enough strange glances as it is.
Uggh, I just want her to find out quick, but at the same time, I don't, because it would mean the end of this fantastic story.( Or would it? ;) )
I wait eagerly for the next chapter, which, if not updated soon, would result in me exploding into nothingness. Consider yourself warned...
Love and cheer,
P.S. I couldn't review the last chapter, because as soon as I finished it, my internet was out cold. But i'd like to say that the part about Sophie's father being a transvetite was so well written and hilarious, I couldn't stop laughing. Ergo, the strange looks. :DAuthor's Response: Wow, mammoth review, I love it ;) Really, the first time you've been mentioned? I feel honoured to give you your first mention :D I love my readers and I wanted to give something back. Fast updates are a rarity, which are going to become even more of a rarity if I get writer's block. I'm neglecting homework and just writing. Aw, Sophie's endearing, she's growing on me a lot, I'll be saddened when this ends. LOL'ing at my story? That's good although the stares probably weren't. I got the same problem when I watched AVPM... I'm not telling you when she'll find out, but as for plans on future writings, I have a one shot lined up as a sequel to this and a spin off James/Imogen where I cram Sophie in in every opportunity ;) Please don't explode, I need your reviews :D
P.S. Your more than long enough review made up for it Report Review
Oh my gosh she saw him apparate. I'm so excited now! And she and Freddie have to start dating! They'd be so cute together! So what if she's a muggle and he's a wizard? his whole family already loves her so it's perfect! Amazing chapter! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: All in good time Cassie, all in good time ;) Apparation, I'd love it, if only I could... She's finally got a good break in her investigation so things should quicken now. Thanks for the review x Report Review
Sorry. Wrong Story. Wrong Author.
Great story though, Kid. Loved this chapter.Author's Response: That review was hurtful and shouldn't be sent to anyone. I'm glad you liked it but flame reviews are horrible, constructive criticism is better. Report Review
I'm glad I found this story! It's well written and Sophie's a nutter who I can relate to :P Update soon?Author's Response: Hi Jess, thanks for the review :D I've updated already and I don't know when the next chapter's coming out, it's taking it's time ;) Report Review
aaagh please update this :OAuthor's Response: I've put the next chapter in the queue already, it should be out soon ;) Remember to keep reviewing x Report Review
oh i love this(:
write more(:Author's Response: Thanks for the review :D I will write more, for sure ;) Report Review
I loved this chapter! Sophie and Freddie make great friends! Off to read the next chapter! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: The next chapter's in the queue so it shouldn't be too long :D I'm glad you loved it, spread the word ;) Report Review
I love Sophie's family :) It's good to see a more male side of it since we've only seen Sophie and her mum before. I like how the romance is coming along. Update soon?Author's Response: Thanks for the review :D Yeah, it is good to see Sophie's male role models, isn't it? I've put Phase Five into the queue ;) Report Review
I love how you wrote Roxanne! Actually, I love how you wrote all of the Weasley family! Sophie is such a great character to read, and I thought Queenie was hilarious! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Thanks so much Cassie :D Your review means a lot to me x Report Review
i liked this chapter even though it was short we got to see her family and hear fred talk about his school to sophie and i think a spinoff would be great you could do a story from there POV or else something completely different :) update soonAuthor's Response: Thanks for the review, I'm putting the next chapter into the queue today ;) With the spinoff I was going to do something completely different but have Sophie appear at strategic points in the story :D Report Review
I have been waiting for this update! I really like this story, it's different and unique. I hope you update soon (:Author's Response: Thanks so much and I definitely will update very soon ;) Report Review
I this was a brilliant first chapter to what looks like a brilliant story! I love Sophie's character already, and the fact that she's a muggle is really interesting and original. I've never read a story from a muggle's perspective. I love what things in the wizarding world look like to muggles, and how she explains everything. Wonderful chapter! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Wow, 10/10, really? I'm glad you like the story so much, your review means a lot, thank you :D Report Review
hey its Whiskey again with one last review!
More Weasleys, yay!
Lots of new characters, that was confusing! But Sophie was confused too, so its fine ;)
One detail: Mrs. Weasley (as in grandma Weasley) actually used to knitt sweaters for her children in the books...
Another thing I noticed: although its hillarious how Sophie blames the cat (and the board?) for all her troubles, she repeated this sentiment a bit too often for my taste. I think it could be more effective if used sparingly.
Also, Sophie seems to think absolutely everyone is crazy, although she wishes to be normal herself. We don't really get to see an exampe of what normal would mean to her, though, since all of the other characters are overflowing with quirks.
Except Freddie, by the way. Which is something else I should probably mention: he is sort of difficult to picture, since he hardly gets any lines, any details or any sort of action except being the Target. If he is the Target, why do we hear so little about him? What makes him Sophie's best friend? What odd things has he personally done that have made Sophie suspicious? Any embarassing things about his life, his wishes etc that only Sophie knows? What does she see through her binoculars when she aims them at him? haha, you see, many questions :p
Ok, I'll stop here for now! Good luck and have fun writing more, it's a great story so far :) Feel free to rerequest once more chapters are up.
cheers!Author's Response: I will tone down the blame on the cat then and bring more Freddie into the story. Again, I didn't realise he was hardly the focus of the story so I'll have to change that. Thanks so much for doing this, it really had helped ;) Report Review
hey its Whiskey for a second review!
Well, there is one thing I noticed which is really subjective, but possibly worth pointing out: Sophie seems a bit younger than 16-17 for some reason. She has the careless, imaginative, hyperactive approach of what I remember as being more the realm of the under 14-year-olds. You know, the time before college applications, serious relationships, odd afternoon jobs in cafes and the confusion that comes with starting to understand the world of adults while still observing from the sidelines :P As I said, though, this is a very subjective opinion. But, if you decide to follow up on it, then maybe try giving Sophie's life some more conflict, stress and self-reflection. All of these things, although negative, can still be funny if told right.
Speaking of funny: since you specifically asked about the humor when requesting, I had a look and must say you shouldn't worry too much, since it works most of the time. Sometimes, though, it seems slightly predictable and the tone is always the same, which numbs the reader pretty quickly. Maybe if you try to make Sophie relax once in a while, allow her to stop being on paranoid fighter overdrive mode, while still focus on the odd details and contradictions that go through her mind, then the story could gain a lot :)
Now to the good stuff! I like how Sophie comments on her own commenting, it's fun to see her struggle for control (and often fail :D) but still never give up. I also love how she is total conspiracy nutt! Those are the best ;)
Off to the next chapter! I hope it has more Weasleys ;)Author's Response: I will try and change things up again so it doesn't get repetitive. I didn't even realise, but it's hard to write about insanity when I don't have my insane friends around ;) There's this person in my class who's a complete conspiracy theorist- I never noticed how similar Sophie is to him :S Report Review
Hey there, it's Whiskey from the forums with your requested review :)
Ok, first things first, here are some tiny details I think need fixing:
1)..."removed the binoculars from in front of my eyes" just "from my eyes" would probably work better...
2) she mentions how no one arrives through the front door many times, which makes sense since they apparate or floo or something, but she doesnt know that. For her, if you don't arrive through the front door, you don't arrive, period. So maybe leave out focusing on the front door, since otherwize it seems like she knows there must be other ways of getting in. Maybe changing this a bit would make her narration more realistic? Just a suggestion :)
Now, having gotten that over with, I loved this chapter! Seriously, it was such a great idea to make Sophie a Muggle. Wizards, especially a noticable and large family such as the Weasleys must look ridiculous and totally odd to a Muggle (they are odd even to wizards). Focusing on that on its own is hillarious already.
Also, usually its frustrating to read from the perspective of a character that knows less than you do, but in this case it totally works. You made sure to put in fun details and really introduce us to her perspective, so this should never get boring ;)
ok, off to the next chapter!Author's Response: Thanks so much for doing this, it really helps a lot ;) It's different when I read over a chapter as to someone else. Thanks again and I will look over what you pointed out :D Report Review
hey i just read your story and its great i don't usually read stories with a muggle point of view set in a muggle place i like it though i love your main characters there great i love how sophie can be so clueless about fred liking her (thats what in getting when i read the story if im wrong sorry :( ) yet she acts like an investagater lovethe story keep updating :)Author's Response: Yeah, she really is clueless, she's on this investigation to find out what Freddie's keeping from her and she hasn't realised that he likes her... I'm glad you like it and I'll keep updating if you keep reviewing ;) Report Review
Love it. Hilarious. And good deduction, finding out it's got something to do with Hogwarts.
She's amazing. All of your characters are, actually.Author's Response: Thanks Leela, I had to give Sophie one piece of evidence, she really has nothing else ;) Report Review
Very good story, it's funny, well written and has me craving more.
I enjoyed the whole One Direction and Sheldon ordeal.
Regards from chilly Sweden
Bazinga!Author's Response: Thanks for the review Hope, I'm glad you enjoyed it :) Sweden? Your English is immaculate, wow!
Remember to keep reviewing and I will update quicker ;) Report Review
This story's fantastic! It's funny, well written, I love it :D I love Sophie, she's completely crazy but perceptive even if she can't piece it all together yet. I wonder what she'll do when she figures it out...Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the story so far. Hmn, I suppose Sophie is perceptive. I have a little inkling as to what she'll do, since I'm writing this story... Report Review
Original story, I like how Sophie's a muggle and she's going to be investigating the Weasley's, there's so much that can go wrong in so many ways! Can't wait to see how this plays out xAuthor's Response: Thank you, I can't wait to see how it plays out as well, since I don't even know... Report Review
Ha, ha, such a funny story so far ;) I love how Crookshanks ends up urinating on Freddie Hugo and James :D I love Louis and how Freddie got jealous. Please update soon?Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I'll definitely update soon :D Crookshanks is special... I had to throw in some Sophie/Freddie action in there and the romance shall develop... Report Review
Yay! I thought the little scene between Sophie and Louis was cute, but poor Freddie! Haha I am still loving the whole mystery and how you are putting together pieces of the puzzle bit by bit! I can't wait to see what she notices next!Author's Response: I've got to take it slowly, because let's face it, she's not exactly going to jump to the conclusion that Freddie's a wizard. That's one of the reasons I decided to change it into a novel. I have a few tricks up my sleeve and I'm writing Chapter Four now :D I love your reviews! Report Review
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