Reading Reviews for Hazardous
  
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Review #26, by CambAngst The Reservation

4th November 2012:
Hello, there, darling! I am back again for another fantastic dose of Charlie and Tonks. This story is coming along so well, I am really honored to be the recipient of such a great gift!

I know you were really worried about writing in the first person, but I think you did a terrific job with it here. It isn't easy, that's for sure. Challenge stories are fun that way, though. You can really experiment and take some risks and broaden your repertoire. I think it paid off for you in a major way in this chapter, because it is so narrowly focused on Charlie. It's all about his experiences and his feelings, so it feels perfectly natural to tell it all from his point of view.

I think I like Charlie's roommate so far. She definitely isn't taking any guff from him, but she doesn't really seem to mind his less than gentlemanly behavior, either. Pretty much the kind of woman you'd have to be to work with dragons and even worse, the kind of super-macho guys who like working with dragons. It sounds like the two of them are hitting it off famously. And she seems OK with Tonks, too, which is a plus.

Interesting that you picked Tonks to be the first one to start to let the discipline slide on keeping up this long distance relationship. I guess it's worth nothing that this is all from Charlie's point of view, I suppose, so Tonks might have a very different impression of who was slacking off. Either way, I think you're setting the stage very well for what we all know is coming. The frayed threads are starting to appear on the tapestry.

Before we can get to my very favorite part of the chapter, I wanted to take a moment and compliment you on the way that Charlie reacts to his coworker, Gus. Where did they find that guy? "Bird"??? I do think he should get a chance to meet Tonks, just so she could hex him.

Anyway, on to my favorite thing about this chapter, the amazing writing you did with regard to the dragons and the way they're handled on the reservation. I would say that going back to the piece that you wrote for the Task 1 Challenge during the House Cup and following through to this chapter, you have redefined my whole thought process about the magnificent beasts and how they interact with witches and wizards.

The two dragons that Charlie is first sent to check on are both such sad stories. They were great subject matter to begin developing both the attachment and the protectiveness that Charlie feels toward his great, scaly charges. We start to see how personally upsetting it is to him to see dragons mistreated by humans. It falls perfectly in line with what you're building up to.

It's funny, by the way, to see a wizard who isn't a big fan of traveling by apparition. I guess it's such a commonplace thing in my own headcanon that I sometimes forget what a difficult time Harry had getting used to it in the books. You sell it pretty well here, though.

Again, building the headcanon. Building, building, building. I love the mythos you created around the Ironbellies. You give them such a distinct personality, both in terms of their fierceness and also how the handlers are able to manage them. Every little detail adds to the picture. I felt like something of an expert by the end of this. ;)

You did a marvelous job of showing how all of Charlie's anxieties relate to the well-being of the dragons, even his concern for his own safety. That was such a great touch. And the way he handles the would-be poacher, the outrage that he feels... perfect. Spot on. All of the little things that he does to get the dragon's trust back seemed so well thought out. You wrote this scene brilliantly. There's just nothing else to say about it.

One last thing before I leave this scene behind: I loved the over-the-top macho culture you created for the dragon handlers. I love the scary-looking guy that Charlie works for. It's a little gross, but I like the way they all seem to smoke. The way that they never, ever smile cracked me up. I had this vision of the heroes from the old spaghetti western movies that Clint Eastwood used to make before he started having conversations with chairs at the Republican National Convention. These guys (and gals, I suppose, based on Charlie's roommate) are the real deal. The John Waynes of the wizarding world.

Here's a question that popped into my head for god knows what reason as I was reading the part right after Charlie apparates home. The part where he thinks his roommate might be home, so he pulls his jeans back on. Charlie totally seems like the kind of guy who doesn't wear any underwear, am I right? He's way too macho for that.

Anyway, with that bit of randomness out of the way, the scene with Charlie and Tonks was sweet and sexually charged but also sad in a way. Sweet in that Charlie can tell how hard she's pushing herself to make their relationship work and in spite of the fact that he's had a long day and he hasn't seen her in a long time, his first thoughts are still of her well-being. Sexually charged in that... OK, really no need to elaborate there. It just is. ;) Sad in that the cracks in their relationship are already so visible. All of the things that are going to break them apart in the end are already plainly visible. Sigh.

I really loved this. You are the Dragon Mistress, you know that? You make amazing things happen with them, and you're pretty darn good with Tonks and Charlie, too! Awesome job, can't wait to see what comes next!

Author's Response: Okay. I'm finally here to try and do this review some justice.

First of all, yay that you like your story ♥ it's been so much fun to write so far.

I found myself switching into third almost every paragraph with this chapter, haha, so I'm extra pleased that the first person turned out well!

Ashton Ashton... I'm not saying she won't cause any problems, but if she does, it will probably be unintentional :P

Hahahah I love Gus. He reminds me of the friend of Noah's in The Notebook. He looks like that in my head an everything. Trust me, he's far from finished with his role in this ;).

I felt so much like I did when I wrote the Task piece, and parts of this chapter. Charlie and I definitely connect in the Animal Lover part of his personality, so that was one of my favorite things to write about. I was so worried that it would be boring!

I have to say, him not liking apparation wasn't exactly my own idea. I just figured because he failed the test the first time he took it, he couldn't have enjoyed it. He's too smart and focused to fail at something that's important to him, so I assume that he barely tried during his test. Then once he realized he'd have to use it on the Reservation (probably half way through seventh year when he got accepted to intern in the program) he had to retake it. he passed, but still doesn't like it.

Oh god. THEY HAD TO SMOKE. Hahaha. It just fit. Like you said.. old Westerns. You show me a cowboy that didn't roll his tobacco during their cattle drive, and I'll show you.. an... errr... Jami that doesn't drink coffee? It just totally fit. Funny too because John Wayne of Dragons is absolutely what I thought about while writing this. And I finally got to listen to my country while working on a chapter :P.

We're not getting into Charlie's underwear situation again... ;)!!


Ahhh Dan I'm so thrilled you're enjoying this ♥ It's always so stressful publishing a chapter without *you* reading it over first. With Before They Fall I'm confident after you look it over, that it's good. With these, I feel like it's a toss up :P!

Thanks again, m'dear ♥


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Review #27, by CherryBoom The Reservation

4th November 2012:
Hello again! =)

Keep this up and you might actually turn me into a Charlie/Tonks shipper. And that's saying something since I think that Charlie is destined to be with Oliver Wood. =P Really, this second chapter was so good.

I've been writing a dragon fic of my own for a while now (although with a very different premise), so I'm very impressed how you had thought out all the work related details, like differences between trainers, keepers and handlers. The idea of having someone who tries to hurt a dragon for advancing his own agendas, made me literally snarl here. It reminded me so much about how people in real world treat endangered animals.

But the best part of this fic is that your Charlie is spot on. I really love how you had added the little details from canon, like his aversion of apparating, and used it in here. And he has exactly right mentality for caring the animals. Big props for that!! =)

Guess what, you just earned your story a new follower. I'm adding this to my favorites and will be eagerly waiting for the next chapter. Great job, hun. =)

Author's Response: Hi darling :)! Woot woot, I would love to convert you over for just a little bit ;).

I am so happy you're enjoying this! I was nervous about this chapter, because it is mostly about Charlie and the dragons. I couldn't figure out exactly what Charlie was, some sites said a trainer, others say handler, some say he just studies them.. so that's why I decided to create the system of all three :P. I'm so happy you enjoyed those details, because I always worry if I over do it with those kinds of things.

Thank you again for stopping by ♥ It's so awesome to get a review tag who leaves an actual, well thought out review and not just two sentences.

The next chapter should be out soon with our queue so short!!

♥ Jami


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Review #28, by CherryBoom Graduation

30th October 2012:
Well I haven't read any Charlie/Tonks fics before, so this was an interesting foray into unknown.

Jami darling, you truly have talent for writing long, heartfelt discussions. Considering they are eighteen in this fic, they felt maybe even bit too mature, but nevertheless I really liked this chapter. What I would have wanted to see bit more is Tonks's quirky personality and some more magic! =)

The introduction of a new character in the last paragraph without further ado felt bit bit odd choice, but hopefully we'll learn much more about her in the next chapter.

Your writing was nice and smooth, and it has improved tremendously since last spring. =) I'm especially fond of how naturally you manage to show your characters feelings through their actions rather than telling us about them.

All in all, it was fun to read and I'll be waiting with interest how you continue their story. =) The story banner is incredibly beautiful by the way.

Author's Response: Hi darling! Thank you so much for stopping by! And I'm so thrilled you've seen improvement in my writing. It's absolutely what I strive for!

The first three paragraphs are coming from older Tonks, which will eventually tie in. So maybe knowing that helps with the maturity thing? I just see these two as so.. intense. Neither have mediums.. they're all or nothing.. and maybe that's what is making me write them in a too mature light? I'll try and watch out for that :). Don't worry, quirky Tonks will come soon. She was just still kind of in her mopey mood, first thinking Charlie would break up with her to start his new life, then because.. despite being on Romania right then, she'll have to leave very soon.

I'll absolutely work at getting down that essential silly/fun-ness about her in the next few chapters though! Thank you for pointing it out, because I do want to make her as canon as possible ♥

I am so happy you liked this start, and I hope to see you for the next chapter!


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Review #29, by caoty Graduation

27th October 2012:
Tonks! Charlie! Yay!

Exclamation marks aside, your Tonks is lovely. Despite the few Americanisms, you've got her voice just right and the relationship with Charlie and the England-Auror-Romania-dragon-tamer thing - we know it won't last, but it's fun anyway.

Charlie's great, too, with the easygoing nature and the sex and the dragons. Your Charlie is almost identical to my headcanon Charlie, and yeah. Love him. You've got a gift for making anyone you write seem relatable, even Bella to some extent. I'd like to see you write from the perspective of someone who is inherently evil, like darling Voldie, because it'd be so much fun.

Anyway. Voldie aside. You've still got a few typos and may want to look it over again... and I'm quite interested in seeing where you'll take this in the future. ^_^

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked this! I'll go through and see if I can catch the typos. And I can try to find the Americanisms, but I probably won't be able to catch them :P.

Charlie is the view point of the next chapter, and let me tell you.. he's not an easy first person character. Haha.

Thanks again so much for stoping by, m'dear ♥


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Review #30, by manno_malfoy Graduation

24th October 2012:
SO GORGEOUS! -squeals- I've only read one Charlie/Tonks story (one-shot) before and I adored them. I was kind of sad they're not the kind of ship you'd see written often, but you're writing a short story COLLECTION! -squeals again until she's out of breath-

Okay, now I can type. :D

The opening was absolutely gorgeous! It really is different from the rest of the narrative so I'm glad you set it off from it. BUT DID YOU SEE THAT THIRD PARAGRAPH IN THE OPENING? It is the MOST gorgeous thing EVER! It absolutely is an interesting way to think about feelings and love, especially when mostly lack of love is what causes a relationship to fall apart. But, indeed, the two extremes can be destructive and I can't wait to see how this will be applied onto their relationship. Even if it means it'll break them up!

I absolutely love your characterisation of Tonks! I loved the way she thought about things, no matter how heartbreaking they were for most of the chapter. I think it's kind of cruel of you to build up for a sad end to their relationship, but I think that there were hints here and there that there might've been a chance. The way she'd started musing of all the things they've done together, and the third paragraph of the opening -how sometimes they gave it more they can truly give or more than it needed- It all gave me hope!

I'm very happy that you're still allowing them to be happy. Being the psychotic person I am though makes me eager to see if we'll be getting to see them fall under tough consequences and get crushed by reality. Okay, that sounded mean, but I'm just being honest.

I also like the way you characterise Charlie through Tonks's eyes. The way she describes him makes it easy to see why she'd be willing to try so hard to keep their relationship in one piece and why she'd been so terribly sad when she though he'd break up with her. :)

I really have enjoyed this first glimpse at them and I can't wait for more! Dan is, indeed, very lucky because this is a gorgeous story. Not that it's a surprise!

Keep up the magnificent work, Jami!

-Manno

Author's Response: Hi darling!! Sorry this response has taken me so long! Yes! A collection! I was too afraid to commit to a novella or something, so with this I don't have to worry much about trying to form some cool plot, I can just explore them as a couple. Mwahaha.

I am so happy you like the opening. That's kind of the beginning of the end, a more mature Tonks looking back that you'll see in one of these final chapters, and I really wanted it to stand apart so I'm thrilled that it struck out at you a bit.

I'll continue this until Remus and Tonks get together, which means you'll absolutely see a but of crushed by reality. I like writing that, so we're clearly both mean ;)

I'm so happy you enjoyed this first one, m'dear ♥ I am almost done with the next chapter told from Charlie's view point, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on it that one!

Thank you so much for all the awesome reviews ♥


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Review #31, by WitnesstoitAll Graduation

24th October 2012:
Jamiii. I'll haveyou know that you are a terrible influence. Terrible. Here I am with 60 pages of study guide that I need to learn *coughmemorizecough* by tomorrow and I log onto the forums just to make sure that I don't have any PM's from new members asking for common room passwords and lo and behold I read your status. and here I am.

GAHHH. I ADORE TONKS/CHARLIE, LIKE TO THE MOON AND BACK. This was a really great opening chapter. I really enjoy the voice you give to Tonks!! The bit about why she thinks Charlie wears jeans is hilarious. I think I'd like to see a little bit more of that spunkiness in the narrative -- it's something that is really unique to the first person narrative and since she does have a great voice, may as well take advantage.

I enjoyed all of the scenes, but the opening bit, the mini prologue of sorts, seemed a tad formal -- there were a lot pretty words and extended metaphors, and don't get me wrong, it was a very good bit of writing, but I almost felt as though it was too pretty or formal (stylistically) for the rest of the fic. Please keep in mind that this is a really minute critique, and just something for you to think about. All in all this was a great first chapter and I cannot wait to read the rest!!

alsdkjfowaiejoijf great work. :)

Author's Response: I was so surprised to see you! I can't even lecture you about being naughty and putting off studying because this review was just too awesome ♥

I think the first few paragraphs might meld better by the end when you see where it's coming from. But because I'm terrible at keeping my own secrets.. think of that as Tonks's final goodbye to Charlie. She's ready to move on with her life, to be with someone who makes her happy and healthy, not the catastrophic kind of happy she and Charlie have.

First person is terrifying to me so far, haha! In the span of a week I've done first and second person stories. I must be going crazy. I'll absolutely try and add a bit more spunk in the next chapter. I'm trying to avoid the... I don't know. There's this personality trait I don't like about her, and I don't know what it is.. But I know I'm trying to avoid it, haha!

I am so happy you liked this first bit ♥ the second one is nearly done. But I'm trying to finish chapter 11 of BTF before I put it in the queue.

Good luck studying, m'dear! And thank you so much for stopping by, this review made my day ♥



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Review #32, by CambAngst Graduation

24th October 2012:
OK, calm down. Slow down, brain. Take it easy. Form coherent thoughts. Construct sentences. Sam has already beaten me to the first review, so I guess I can slow down and take my time with this.

This was awesome! Thank you so much! You know all about my powerful headcanon surrounding Tonks and Charlie. How they were the fire-and-gasoline couple that were too much alike not to fall madly in love but in the end they were too much alike for that love to last. This story captured a slice of that brilliantly. It wasn't long and gushing and flowery because neither one of them is that sort of person and that isn't the sort of bond they share.

You covered everything I think about the two of them together so perfectly in that very first paragraph, particularly in these two sentences: "Everything about us being together, how we felt with each other, was perfect. But that perfection wasnít enough to calm the hurricanes that always seemed to be raging." Then you explain how they first fell for one another and how their relationship ultimately destroys itself. Gah, I just want to put it all in quote marks here, but that isn't really a very good review, is it? Suffice it to say that the first three paragraphs are some of my favorite out of all of your work.

True story: I was about to -- very reluctantly -- nit-pick you because I had it in my head somehow that Charlie left school early to go work with dragons and therefore didn't graduate. But now I can't find any reference to it anywhere. Did I imagine this? Did I pick up a bit of bad headcanon somewhere? This is going to bug me now...

It's a small thing, but her choice of hair color really seems to set the mood for the conversation on the Quidditch pitch. Good choice. All the other foreshadowing continued to build toward an unavoidable, sad outcome. The way that she almost doesn't want to talk to him because she knows what's going to happen says it all.

Your physical description of Charlie, the idea that he's already wearing his jeans, it was all perfect for his character. And I love the little things that she associates with him. Looking up into the sky. Riding on the back of his broom. The way he always manages to win. That last one was a tricky little nod to what was actually going to happen, if it was on purpose.

And then he begins the break-up speech. Or what she thinks is the break-up speech, anyway. That was gut-wrenching to read. I was thinking, "why is he doing this to her? Why does he have to drag her through every last detail? Why not just tell her right up front?" I can feel her shaking on the inside, somehow. I can feel her world starting to crumble and it sucks. "I nodded my head, trying to silence the voice inside that asked what about me? What do I mean to you?" You're trying to pry a tear out of me, aren't you?

And just as she's ready to walk away, ready to break, he surprises us all! Charlie, you big tease! What are you doing messing with us, I mean messing with Tonks like that? Jerk!

The end of the scene is such a relief, though. Seriously, I think I forgot to breathe there for a while and it all came out in a big sigh, followed by a desperate play for oxygen. It feels really good, but I can't help but feel bad about all of the important things that are left unsaid between them. They're kicking the can down the road, but when you're 18 and in love, I guess you might as well give it a try.

The scene in Romania was kind of cute but also kind of sad in a way. It was funny watching these two try to be domestic. I don't think anything in life really prepared either one of them for this. Charlie more than Tonks, I guess. Molly probably made him help clean the house, but I'm sure he grumbled about it a lot and snuck outside the first chance he got. But their conversation about the conversation they never really had brought me right back to the elephant hanging out in the corner of the room. They still really haven't come to terms with the difficulties facing their relationship. And rather than try, they decide to go exploring. Well, first they're going to... you know... then they're going to explore. Only the untimely arrival of Charlie's roommate disrupts the plan, but I'm sure it also ended any chance of a serious conversation.

You did an amazing job of setting the stage here. It's true, they do love each other too much. They can't or don't want to face the reality of their problems. This isn't going to end well, but I think it's going to be an amazing journey between here and there. Thank you so much for this! I love it. Can't wait to see what you have in mind next!

Author's Response: Hi darlinggg ♥. I am so happy that you liked this. I spent so long trying to think of anything other than a Charlie and Tonks I could write for you, but you like them so much.. so I'll do my best not to mess them up :P.

I really loved writing those first three paragraphs. They'll actually come back into play at the very end of this. Sort of a more mature Tonks talking to herself, then we rewind back to the sort of beginning. The beginning when things weren't so easy anymore, at least. The next chapter is from Charlie's PoV, so I'm extra excited to see what you think about that.

I know why you have that in your head! JKR messed some time line stuff up. Charlie was a seeker, but Harry is told when he makes the team, or before I forgot, that they hadn't won a Cup since Charlie left school. Which doesn't make sense because Charlie left the year before Harry came. So that would mean they won last years. So that's where the idea of him leaving school early started. But I think it was more of a JKR dates mix up, since she admits to frequently messing up ages, because in my head canon the Dragon's are a really difficult and exclusive thing to get into. And we also never hear Mrs. W complain about Fred and Bill leaving school 'just like charlie' and I totally think we would if he hadn't had graduated. She doesn't seem like a woman to forgive and forget :P.

The break up scene was really fun in a cruel way. She'd already got it so set in her head that she was about to get tossed, but I knew she wasn't. Mwwahah. Not yet, at least *ninja*

I think for them it definitely was a case of loving each other too much. That destructive, not all together healthy kind where they just want to be with each other constantly but when they can't they pretend they don't want to because neither wants to be the one more attached.. honestly I do think these are two people that probably bring out the worst and best of each other. I'm actually really excited about this. Before They Fall is full of teams, full of people strengthening one another, and it has to be that way because that's how it belongs. Lily and James strengthen one another's weaknesses, Sirius and James give each other the brother neither ever had, Belle and Sirius understand in a way no one else could.. It's just this group of people that truly belong together as friends and lovers. Which is great. But this story lets me write something completely different. Because Charlie and Tonks bring out the worst just as often as they bring out the best, and I don't have to be patient and careful with this, I can just let it happen. That doesn't make sense, does it? It's fun. Haha.

Chapter 2 is almost done! I hope you like it ♥



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Review #33, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Graduation

24th October 2012:
When you see Charlie and Tonks' names in a summary, it would be criminal not to click. :D

Charlie/Tonks will always be a pairing I can't help but imagine happened, which makes me kind of sad that she ends up with Remus (but not sad enough to not like them, because I love Remus/Tonks, too :)). And I think you've written them brilliantly.

I was so scared that Charlie was going to break up with her, too, and I was pleasantly surprised (and relieved and excited) when he said they could make or work, even if I know it won't last (as Remus/Tonks was on the list of pairings and I imagine you're sticking to canon).

I very much look forward to the next chapter and I am definitely adding this to my favorites. :)

Sam.

Author's Response: So I saw this review before I even realized the chapter was validated!! It was an awesome surprise, thank you for stopping by!

I know what you mean about being happy even though it won't last. It's kind of like ripping band-aid off slowly, because we all know what happens.

Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm happy you enjoyed this first chapter ♥

Jami


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