Reading Reviews for Before They Fall
963 Reviews Found

Review #26, by sushmita Head Boy and Girl

22nd December 2016:
I saw some misspelt words that could be fixed. This chapter was a bit of a drag.

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Review #27, by An accidental stargazer The Force That Drives Us

18th June 2016:
Wow. This was fantastic! I loved your portrayal of all the characters and how your plot foreshadows so nicely to the books. (I especially loved how you added the detail with prof. Slughorn and the fish hehe...)

Okay, so I could probably ramble on for a while on how reading this story brought a silly grin to my face, essentially made my day, and helped confirm that yes, I'm still hopelessly obsessed with this series, (after all this time?), but unfortunately, I lack your splendid writing skills and have a 6000 character limit, so I'll keep this brief.

Thank you for an absolutely delightful story. Though it's been years, this fanfiction brought me back to the magical days of my childhood. :)
Good luck, and *definitely* keep on writing!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a kind review!! Fan fiction did the exact same thing for me -- reminded me of how very much I love the world that JK created and gave me a chance to stay in it!!

Thanks for putting a smile on my face this morning!

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Review #28, by mugglelover1977 Holding On To You

4th June 2016:
I thought the were going to the same wedding as the boy from Durmstrang! What a plot twist that would have been for one of Vernon's relatives to be a wizard!

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Review #29, by dannyman101 The Force That Drives Us

20th November 2015:
Absolutely great story and I can't wait to start reading the rest :-D Brilliant detail on everything including how they felt during different situations. Next part should be good :-)

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Review #30, by MyDearWatson The Force That Drives Us

4th November 2015:
This story is so well written that I think I'm going to have a very hard time keeping this plot line apart from the original HP series.

I LOVED your female characters. You showed me why James fell for Lily, the special relationship that Lily fostered with Remus, and the way Frank and Alice were complete badasses!! I absolutely love the different personalities you've been able to touch on and expand. You hit it out of the park with writing these characters.

Now, on to your beautiful and sassy creation: Belle. She's different. I loved and hated her character at different points of the story. I stayed up late last night to finish reading the story, because I needed to know what happens to Belle. Your foreshadowing was on point and had my heart heavy for her for the last couple of chapters. I did not expect to feel such a deep sadness over the death of a fan fiction character, but I do! It still stings that this person, whom I've gotten to know over the last three months of reading the story, no longer exists even in the alternate universe of fanfic Hogwarts.

I hope you keep writing, because you have a true talent.

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Review #31, by MyDearWatson How To Love You

18th October 2015:

I am in love with this story! It has truly captivated me to the point where I think about when I will have some free time to read more of it! Fantastic writing style. I love that your characters are round and developed instead of falling into casts, like so many other authors' versions. I feel like you are really doing justice to Lily and James, and also love the inclusion of Frank and Alice (unsung heroes, in my opinion).

I can't wait until I reach the end, even though i know I will be sad to have none of the story left.

You are a gifted storyteller.

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Review #32, by Rose Head Boy and Girl

8th August 2015:
I'm rereading this story for at least the third time- it's always been a favourite of mine. This time around, though, I'm noticing something that might be holding you back as a writer. (please note that I say this with only the best intentions-again, I love this story and I'm only saying it to help make it better)
Your language gets a bit... flowery in places. You're obviously trying to make every image as beautifully vivid as humanly possible, but sometimes it gets a bit awkward and distracts from the meanings you're attempting to convey. These issues sometimes obstruct the focus on plot, as well. We almost forget what's going on, because Lily is too focused on the water in her eyes (aka tears)...Or because Dumbledore's eccentricity makes his speech patterns meander a bit too much and we sort of get distracted by the excess of words. Try to be concise- use more powerful verbs and adjectives to communicate to us how sad Lily is feeling and read stuff out loud to make sure it all flows really smoothly and makes sense. (Get an audience if you can--or, if you have a macbook, just use the speech function and take some notes)
I'm sorry if I sound overly critical. I just wanted to help. As I've said before- this is one of my absolute favourite stories of all time! I hope my comment is constructive and can help make this fic even better than before!
Love from,
PS- hope your summer is going well!

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Review #33, by Ellen The Force That Drives Us

7th July 2015:
Absolutely stunning. An emotional rollercoaster, with such a powerful ending! You're a brilliant writer and I am so glad that I bookmarked your story long ago and have finally had the time to finish reading it. A worthy winner of the most addicting story!

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Review #34, by Preno  The Force That Drives Us

14th May 2015:
Very well written story and worthy of your award. Well done :)

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Review #35, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap The Force That Drives Us

2nd February 2015:
She did something that surprised even her; she reached forward and threw her arms around the elder man’s neck.

^ It's as if you don't want me to get to the end without crying my eyes out.

I have lost too many someones in my time, Miss Christopherson. And the urge to let the grief simply pull me under has threatened to seduce me into its false promises of comfort. There is no replacement for feelings, no ability to forget those feelings or lessen them. We must experience each excruciating stab that death creates, and overcome it.

This. Now I'm really crying now. It doesn't help that my grandmother is in the hospital and I have to visit her tomorrow and I am very very afraid.

I feel like what Dumbledore said was spot on for the present and the future with the second war. To me it is a foreshadowing of what is to come.

I am a wreck Jamie. 39 chapters later and I don't know what to say. In an odd way I feel...fufilled. BTF was everything I could have wanted and more. Did I want Belle to die? No, but I knew a death close to them would be necessary to get the gears going and put them into the Order. I sensed that chapters ago but I didn't want to believe it.

I don't even know how to write this review because I'm thinking back to previous chapters and still trying to process this one and her death and I can't. I can't believe that you wrote this amazing story. It is everything I could have wanted to read for this time period. It was convincing, touching and though they are in a magical setting--relateable. All the characters had great depth and that didn't come from JK Rowling, that came from you. We only know so much about Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and Lily from her. You gave them a story and a life.

I hope you write the second book. I really do. People deserve to not only know what happens next but to be moved by you and to learn from you. You are a really excellent writer and it would be a shame if you stopped writing. Even if you don't want to write this just write anything. Original fiction, fan fiction, heck write some poems. Just don't stop.

Thank you for this incredible journey. Hands down Before They Fall and Dan's Blood Conspiracy are by far my two favorite stories I have read on HPFF.

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Review #36, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Forever Frozen In Time

1st February 2015:
They’d build new homes, Belle reminded herself. Yes, Hogwarts was the first place she’d ever truly felt happy, but then the next place would be even better.

But Hogwarts is home! Oh the tears are already coming. This can't be the end, can it? I've been putting off the last two chapters trying to read other stories and fall for other characters but I keep thinking of Belle and everyone else. This has been quite the journey and I can't believe I'm almost at the end. It's like when you read your favorite book or a really excellent book and you don't want to get to the last chapter or the last page because you know that's it. You will no longer hear the characters in your head or read what they are up to.

Regardless of how, she knew she would be forever thankful they were hers.

Belle's part was beautiful. The self-reflection and growth. She finally has the family, the love and life she deserves.

“We’re casting spells, this is so funny,” he gave a false giggle and added a mock hair flip just for good measure.

How rude! (In Stephanie Tanner's voice)

Haha! I don't know why we do that either. I find myself laughing at anything and everything but thankfully I am in love with a guy that does it too.

but this one sure looked shiny. That had to be a good thing, right?

Oh Sirius!

Silly, silly boy.

Okay. Okay. Alright. I...I've been sitting here for the past five minutes just crying unable to comprehend what just happened. Do you remember when Sirius died. That scene? Not in the movie but the book. He dies and then Harry loses it. He goes nuts and it's just going through his head and he can't process it but it happened and he's angry and he has every right to be.

The day I read that part I couldn't go through with the rest of the book. Each page was filled with tear stains and I remember it vividly because it was my graduation day and I was very young and I never knew a book could make me feel so many different emotions and I could become so emotionally attached to a character.

So it took me several tries to finish that book.

Unfortunately I did not have that ability here to stop and process and stop and process and stop and accept.

I had a feeling she was going to die. I did. I just hoped it wouldn't be so soon. I think I need more time to read the final chapter of BTF because to go on without Belle feels wrong. I feel like a traitor and I know I will not be able to handle Sirius's emotions. His inner thoughts and pain. Lily and Alice I can handle. Peter's jealousy and his ultimate betrayal, yes I am ready for, but this, no.

At least she died fighting because that was Belle, always a fighter.

(was, wow, we are now talking about her in the past tense)

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Review #37, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A Test of Wills

27th January 2015:
The redhead again found the eyes of the stag’s creator; a nearly tangible heat smoldered between them.

The Great Hall was silent as the animals chased the darkness into the sky.

^ Talk about sexual tension.

I mean...come on.

That was epic but I think I've been saying that a lot lately as we reach the end. I thought you handled the testing with great care and I applaud you for actually making it interesting. I'm sorry but I feel like I've read countless of these scenes in other fics and they bore me because they're all the same.

But yours, yours was very different. I also really liked the little nod towards Severus. Lily thinking about him and their friendship and including him in bits here and there in the chapter. It was almost a little pang in my heart, a fleeting feeling for their friendship that should have been and could have been once more.

The Dementor section was what made this chapter FANTASTIC. The description and the fluidity of the temperature and then James and Lily fighting it off at the end together but unknown until they locked eyes, experiencing this magical moment.

Grr...that ending though. He's tracking her? That can't be good. That can't be good at all. Jamie, if you hurt Belle in any way I will cry.

If you kill her I will cry big ugly tears because it will be devastating, heart breaking and painful. I'm too attached. Don't hurt my characters. Any of them. Let's just make this an alternative universe fan fiction and let them all live long and happy lives.




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Review #38, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap The Last Match

27th January 2015:
I want to know her plan! Please tell me she's not going to go to the Black's and speak to them like she did her parents and then fall into a trap with Bellatrix there and get blasted into tiny bits and pieces.

Please tell me her plan doesn't involve her going anywhere near that family.


I wouldn't put it past dear Whalburga to kill or hurt Belle. I think she would enjoy that very much. And I have a feeling Frank is going to propose soon. I'm not sure you're going to show it but it makes sense maybe right before they move in or the day of. I don't think that's cliche either because I can see Augusta saying something and pressing him to do it because a respectable couple buying a house together would be engaged.

Plus, they all die when they're...21, right? So it's their last year. So yes, it should happen fairly soon. That would be nice if you showed him proposing to her or their wedding.

I'm sickly obsessed with wedding/engagement scenes.

(And yet I never actually want to get married.)

We're so close to the end! I don't know if I can go on!

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Review #39, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Lily's Creation

27th January 2015:
She thought of her own initiation day, the memory slipping into her as welcomed as the touch of a lover.

Bellatrix, you evil, disgusting woman. Uh. That sentence makes my skin crawl. You and Dan make Bellatrix one hundred times more creepy than she already is.

And now she wants to kill Belle. She’s going to kill Belle, isn’t she? Or rather her little minions are because I know you J, you’re not going to stray from canon and not make them Death Eater’s. They’re going to fufill their challenges because that’s what they need to do.

So then in my other review I was right. That’s what’s going to lead Lily to not train to be a Healer. That’s going to be her breaking point that leads her into the other. She needs a death. Not a death of an attacker but a death of a family or friend by the hands of magic, not natural causes, to really get her in the thick of things. Right now she’s still too innocent.

No one disarmed Bellatrix Lestrange.

I can’t wait for Molly to kill you Bellatrix.

(I’m way too invested in this story.)

Bore me? How could you ever bore me or anyone else reading this story? I figured by the title of the chapter you were going to have Lily make Slughorn his gift. It was so sweet. I wish you would have shown his reaction because their interactions, though brief, are really quite charming.

Oh Jamie, my heart is heavy. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to continue the story because I feel if I’m right about your foreshadowing and hints I’m going to be completely and utterly heartbroken.

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Review #40, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Accepting and Understanding

27th January 2015:
She was a flame all wrapped together, with those blue eyes smoldering like steel that had been heated beyond all reason.

That describes Belle perfectly in one sentence. Brava!

I got lost in this chapter but I can tell you there were plenty of quotes I wanted to analyze and discuss with you when Remus and Lily started to talk. I just couldn’t bear to rip my eyes from the screen and stop reading. Wow. Lily really is an understanding person and I feel like you not only touched upon that but you also revealed more of their relationship as well. We know Lily didn’t judge Remus when she found out he was a werewolf. For her to sit there and ask questions (even if he didn’t want to fully answer them or say the word that he is) and actively listen to his pain when he’s the one supposed to be comforting her was…well, it was bitter sweet in a way.

Remus understands actions that don’t necessarily make sense but I think he’s still able to see the good in people. I think they compliment each other well because they’re very similar they just grew up in different ways and have experienced loss and pain differently as well but they balance each other out.

I cried a little. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Their conversation was just so fluid and real it got me.

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Review #41, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A Servant's Attack

27th January 2015:
Violet could still put together some brilliant plays.


No, lovely Lily, you’re going to understand what it’s like to vant to die before it happens.

^ He truly sickens me. I want to vomit. I hope someone kills him. I don't want him to go to Azkaban. I want someone to put an end to his life.

I can't even remember at this moment because I am fuming over this THING. I can't even call him a man because he's not a man. He's a worthless pig. But did she ever tell Sirius and Remus and the others about him? No. She didn't. Lily only told James, right? And she also told him to not tell anyone because she wasn't sure and didn't want to cause a lot of trouble. I just can't remember because UGH. HE SICKENS ME!


My heart can't take anymore. That chapter was amazing. I knew Lily was going to get out alive but still you had so many surprises in there you almost gave me whiplash. From Violet and James hashing it out to her realization she's just a dumb, dumb girl. Oh! And Lily using self defense to attack that THING (It no longer has a name). That was epic. That was my favorite part by far because for the first part, Lily is a muggleborn, that would be her natural go to defense moves if someone were to attack her. For another, even if she had her wand we know Lily wouldn't have done anything major to harm him. She's not a killer and she realized he was. He would have killed her. All she could have done at the moment was disarm him or stun him because even though Lily has experienced many different things (her parents death, getting attacked several times) she hasn't been driven to that edge yet where she will need to do something more...painful to another person.

She wants to help the cause and she wants to heal. She needs that one more major thing and I think that thing will be loss. Only this time a magical loss. A friend or family (the Potter's) or something or other.

Author's Response: I've been do excited for you to get to this chapter. Does that make me a terrible person?! I can't help it, i've just been so excited! This one took some serious redoing, and I don't think it would've ended up as intense if Dan hadn't pushed me to really put on paper what I wanted. Because there were some moments where I started chickening out because I just didn't want Lily to have to go through too much! The end result ended up being exactly what I wanted though.

I honestly believe Alrek is an entirely different kind of evil than someone like Voldemort... And I love that you referred to him as 'thing' haha!

Okay, I won't do anymore responses out of order, but I just had to tell you how excited in a terrible way I've been for you to read this chapter!

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Review #42, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Alrek's Plans

27th January 2015:
I'm back for more and I have an eerie eerie feeling. I don't want to read the ending because I just want everything to stay the same. Is that silly? Considering I know James and Lily die and whatnot. I just haven't figured out what it is. There can't be a casualty this early on. The only person you could harm or kill would be Belle and that dear Jamie would not be cool.

I liked that they got to talk about their plans and they actually have plans. I mean you could have easily made James and Lily move in with each other but it still is early in their relationship even though I do see them moving in by the time they're out of school. I just feel like it will happen. I'm surprised Sirius wouldn't want to move with Belle. He didn't even say anything suggesting the idea. Is that a sign? Are you going to break them up?

Grr.Jamie! What are you doing to me?

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Review #43, by happiestlittlelobster The Force That Drives Us

25th January 2015:
Brilliantly ended to tie together some pieces of what could have happened in the Marauder's time to contribute to the fight against Voldemort. I knew Belle needed to die because otherwise the surviving Marauders would have mentioned her (in the real books!)

Thank you for taking this story to completion, I certainly hope that you are well.

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Review #44, by happiestlittlelobster Valentine's Day

23rd January 2015:
Forgive me, this isn't a specific chapter review. This is my first review, but I've been reading as many chapters a night as I can manage for the past few days. I just wanted to say that your characterization throughout is brilliant and really well-done. I love how you structured the chapters to incorporate little details that show how the relationship dynamics are changing and the students are growing up. For example, every once in a while we'll get a thought from James or Lily about sex (bc they're teenagers, of course!). Or a moment of sadness from Lily via her blanket that lets us know, though not explicitly, that she is still having nightmares about the events of the last 6 months. Or McGonagall will make a passing comment about Alice and detention to Lily/James which is probably Order/Auror business. Even Moody's recent comments about "his aurors", it all flows really well, sounds entirely realistic, and is well-organized.

It's so enjoyable coming home from my day to move a little bit farther in their story.

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you're enjoying this!! Knowing it's something you look forward to really means a lot to me! Thank you for putting a huge smile on my face with this review :)!!

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Review #45, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap How To Love You

22nd January 2015:

And I know all about awkward firsts.
And seconds.
And thirds...

Anywho! So glad they talked it through. I knew she was going to try do I keep this age appropriate (12+)...give him the cookies. James wants the cookies but he's a good guy. Good guys do not pressure girls and I wish we knew that. Then again James Potter is a fictional character.

Why can't we just blast Al, our hated Claw, to oblivion and let delusional Vicky go with him? They're awful. She's awful in the cliche crazy chic I want to steal your boyfriend because I'm not and I'm entitled type of way and he's awful in a I want to be a mini Bellatrix with an accent type of way.

That's just too much awful.

Make Voldemort look pretty.

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Review #46, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Compromising and Conniving

22nd January 2015:
J, I'm thrilled with this chapter. Not with Violet obviously. I hope Lily doesn't feel like she has to give it up in the next few chapters because of her. Even though she's strong all girls have insecurities.

What I LOVED was Frank and Alice. Oh Augusta! My favorite overbearing lady. I adored their interaction. It was sweet but still stayed true to their characters. Talking about Augusta and marriage.

Deeds approves.

Deeds approves very much.

And then their interaction with Moody. Sweet, sarcastic and hilarious. I almost forgot for a few minutes this story is tear inducing.

I can't believe I'm almost at the end. I can't imagine how you felt coming so close to the end and just working through all these chapters. Such hard work and dedication on your part.

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Review #47, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Dueling Lessons

22nd January 2015:
So cute! A nice chapter as we reach the end. Unfortunately I'm on my phone because my computer keeps stalling and now my phone is too. :P

I honestly thought she was mad because Frank brought up getting married to her at such a morbid time. I know I'm getting ahead of myself! The duel was the worst part because I knew what Moody's look was. Sirius is not like his family! Heavens! It's unfair the prejudice people feel towards him when he has tried to prove himself time and time again. Peter used that to his advantage. Of course no one would second guess Sirius turning his back on Lily and James. Peter was too timid. But Remus always knew. That's what kept him slightly sane and going.

I just really want to know what happens to Belle in the future. I know everyone else's but hers. I can't help shake the feeling she dies in the end. It would be upsetting but for some reason it also feels right to me.

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Review #48, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Valentine's Day

22nd January 2015:
“I think the fact that we can hurt this badly for people we’ve never met is what’s going to eventually make our world better.”

^ Like I wasn't crying already because of McGonagall being injured. WHY! Why would you do that to me?

Dumbledore is one bad apple man. He can do anything. Most powerful wizard proof right there, fighting off all the Death Eater's and saving my favorite Professor all in one go. You know if Rowling killed off Minnie in the books that's one death I would never forgive her for.

Of course I don't forgive her for Sirius either.

Years later and I'm still not over it.

(And Dobby! WHY!)

I liked how you opened the chapter because I was expecting a fluffy chapter with an annoyed Sirius that would end up happy from the snogging and flirting he would have with Belle. I figured Lily and James would also have some alone time but I knew we wouldn't see Remus or Peter on their dates.

I should have known something was up though with Sirius's mood. You know what I like though? Sirius can change his tone instantly. He knows what matters. He was being a brat in the opening of the chapter but once things started to go down, and the thought of Lily and James in danger again, he pushed himself to the side and got ready to do whatever he had to do. I also liked that he swallowed his pride though it was hard to protect Belle and let her come with him and though he didn't want to leave her alone and was hesitant he would have trusted James's judgement and let her search Hogsmeade herself. That speaks volumes of their friendship.

Does our friend Al, the angry Ravenclaw, mean Bellatrix or Lily? As in he wants to get Bellatrix and make her hurt or he wants to be successful and get Lily to prove how worthy and strong he is. That wasn't completely clear to me.

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Review #49, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap A Game of Sorts

22nd January 2015:
Lily told him she didn’t want a gift, considering her birthday had just been a few weeks ago and he’d given her a new set of art supplies, but he didn’t know if he was supposed to believe that or not.

^ This is me to a T. I always say don't get me a birthday gift, christmas gift or whatever. I'm not a big Valentine's Day fan. Funnily enough the only time I want a gift from my boyfriend is our anniversary and he thought I was crazy when I said I was thinking about what to him for our anniversary since it'll be in two monthish and he looked at me baffled and said, "I'm supposed to get you a gift?"

I just gave him a look.

(DUH. Men. At least give me a card.)

You don't like writing Quidditch games? But you wrote the other one so well and even though this one was short I was amused by it. I think more of my focus and glee went to Lily finally figuring out it's him, our dear Ravenclaw Al (I just can never write his name correctly). Finally! Of course Lily second guesses herself because he's not a Slytherin and she was chummy with him for awhile.

It's called deception Lils.

Yet then again you can't blame her. She has a knack for seeing the good in people. She's the only one that knows Severus is good at heart. Even though he doesn't know it himself.

I don't think I've ever considered the pain Minerva had to go through losing all of her students in two wars. You can see how attached she is to Lily, James, Alice, Frank, etc. In my opinion she still treated Remus as her student even when he became her colleague even though we don't see too much of the interactions in the books it's there. It's only natural for her to resist wanting to push them or guide them into the Order.

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Review #50, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap The Marauder's Map

22nd January 2015:
Why couldn’t Belle let go of what happened with Sirius, even for just a day?

^ I understand why Belle is angry. I do. And I know she's going to forgive him sooner rather than later but I think the reason she can't let it go like Lily could is because she's not completely open to her feelings. Lily isn't sure she loves James yet but she's aware her feelings for him has grown. He was there for her multiple times and would have reacted horribly to his death if he had not survived their attack.

Belle is barely accepting she likes Sirius. She's still not completely open to the idea of a relationship or something more. They just are. That's it. I just don't think she's at that level yet and I don't think she's as understanding either so it takes her longer to process things.

Alice is amazing. I love her level headedness.

So I've finished reading the chapter and yup, I figured they would make up. I wasn't surprised by the argument but the two of them really need to get communication going. That's how their friendship, their relationship, their whatever is going to work.

I'm yelling at my screen for them to figure it out. COME ON! COME ON LILY! You know you spoke to Alreck (I spell his name wrong each time) at the game and for Slughorn's party. Use that amazing brain of yours. I'm surprised James hasn't accused him either when he was so aware of him before and then there's Peter.

I can't decide what you're doing with Peter. If he's already slipping to the other side you are not making it obvious. Do we know exactly when Peter turned on them? I think it was after Hogwarts but I feel like there should be an inkling there. It's hard because you make him likeable even though he isn't a main component to the story.

Oh, and J, I read your response to one of the chapters. I missed you too! One day I decided to log on and there I was missing what i used to do. it was exciting to be brimming with ideas again but I remember leaving. Real life was difficult and I didn't love writing anymore or Harry Potter. My excitement and passion wasn't there. Then I logged on and read one of Dan's stories and I found myself looking for you as well. I think you should finish the sequel but clearly I'm biased. Ha-ha. Don't do it for me, or for him or for anyone else. You have to do it for yourself because I remember that feeling of just not wanting to go on anymore with my stories. It can be overpowering and upsetting abandoning your writing but it can be thrilling as well.

...And I feel like your ending is going to make me bawl. I'm putting off reading the chapters and going through the rest slowly.

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