Reading Reviews for Before They Fall
  
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Review #26, by nott theodore Alrek's Plans

12th July 2014:
Hey Jami!

Oh no. Oh no, oh no. I'm so scared after this chapter that I'm having to write this review as quickly as possible so that I can press next chapter and find out what's going to happen next. How could you do that to me?

I loved the first part of the chapter which mentioned Alrek's plans briefly, just hinting at them without giving us confirmation. And then the transition into all the friends talking together worked really well. I loved the way the boys were all interested in the girl talk even though they pretended not to care, and it was so exciting and so hopeful to read them all planning for the future, their careers and who they're going to live with once they leave school! It's kind of exciting and then...

Bam. You go and set my heart racing with this plan that Alrek's cooked up, separating James and Lily so that he can do whatever he's got planned for her... I'm so scared right now. The shortness of those sections was great because it had more impact, but now I have to read on to find out what's happening!

Sian :)
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Review #27, by nott theodore How To Love You

12th July 2014:
Hey Jami!

Wow, what a chapter! I was really glad to see James standing up to Abigail and not letting her target Lily in that way because she's really nasty and just so frustrating. Definitely the sort of person who I can see going on to become a Death Eater, or at least helping them! I'm glad the rest of the prefects rallied round as well because it's nice to know that they do appreciate James and Lily and all the work that they put into their positions.

Oh my goodness. That scene with Violet and Alrek! Here was me hoping that Violet would get the message soon and now I suspect that she's going to have been pulled into something else much bigger, far beyond her understanding, and extremely dangerous. It was a great plot twist because I didn't see that coming, that the romance and the danger in this story would collide and come together like that - I'm so scared for them now!

The last scene was adorable, too. I loved the fact that you showed some of Lily's insecurities because it just made me like her even more, and James was so sweet responding to them. They're just so cute together!

Sian :)
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Review #28, by nott theodore Compromising and Conniving

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

Ah, I can't believe I'm down to the last ten chapters of this story now! It's taken me so long to read it and I'm sorry for that, but I'm loving the chance to get back to it now!

It's kind of scary how well you write Bellatrix and Voldemort. They're just so... chilling. Every scene you write including them just seems to include such brilliant portrayals and every single word seems to be something I can hear coming from their mouths. Bellatrix, especially - her utter devotion to Voldemort and the fact that she loves being in his presence. But now I'm really worried because of the end of that section - Bellatrix has it out for Belle and I feel like it's not going to end well...

It was great to see some of this story from Alice's POV! She's such a lovely character and I liked the discussion of their relationship so that we got to see how it started and the way that they've both developed as people from when they were younger, because it reminded me of Neville. And it made me laugh that Frank discussed the problem with Augusta - at least she made him see sense, though!

Ugh, Violet is just irritating. I hope that it won't turn into anything worse at the moment because it's just so strange for her to carry on behaving this way - can't she see that James is besotted with Lily? Lily behaved really well though, but I'd like to see Belle let loose on her!

Sian :)
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Review #29, by nott theodore Dueling Lessons

12th July 2014:
Hello, lovely!

I really liked the way that you wrote the Duelling Lessons in this chapter. I think it's a great idea to include them and I can imagine that Dumbledore would want his students to be as prepared as they possibly can be for the world outside of Hogwarts, even if that means that some of the Slytherins are possibly gaining some skills from them. I liked the fact that Moody was the one to teach them as well, because it fits in nicely with why Dumbledore might eventually turn to him as DADA professor and I think your portrayal of him is great; he doesn't care what anyone thinks and McGonagall has to keep correcting him.

I think that my favourite part in this chapter was the girls' section when we got to see more of their friendship - you write it so well! But it's really interesting to see the cause of the argument between Alice and Frank as well, because they always seem like a perfect couple. I can imagine that he'd find it hard to deal with the thought of Alice in danger but it's unfair to expect her to sit at home and let him fight instead - at least we know they both became Aurors so they must work it out between them!

Sian :)
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Review #30, by nott theodore Valentine's Day

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

Ah, I loved the way that you wrote Sirius at the beginning of this chapter. He was so moody and angsty and acting as if he was trying to be all defiant, even though he had nobody to really defy. It made me laugh a bit actually, but I really liked reading him like that - he had no idea why he felt that way but obviously it's because Belle means so much more to him than any girl has before and he was nervous about the way that Valentine's Day with her would go. I kind of wanted to give him a hug, but at least she made him realise that she wasn't going to try and make him do anything he doesn't want to, like go to Madam Puddifoot's! And I love the idea of Belle running a bookshop!

Then when the attack came everything seemed to escalate very quickly. They all had a nice, undisturbed Christmas Day so I suppose it was too much to expect the same for Valentine's! But I really liked the way that you wrote it because I could sense the chaos and confusion about what was going on, as well as the fear. Poor McGonagall! And I absolutely loved Peter in that scene when he suggested taking her food or something, that was so cute!

Ugh, Alrek. I really don't like him, he's so awful. Why can't he just leave them all alone?!

Sian :)
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Review #31, by nott theodore A Game of Sorts

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

Aw, I loved James's thoughts on his relationship and the idea of being a boyfriend to Lily. It just made me smile, he was so cute! He's been waiting for this for so long now and it's so adorable that he's finally managed to start going out with Lily and they're slowly falling in love. It's just adorable.

Yes, finally! Lily has realised that Alrek might be the one who is feeding information to the Death Eaters. I know that she didn't seem convinced on the fact that he would be the one but at least they're wary now. And James's jealousy is now turning into something more substantial, and he's so protective over Lily.

I really enjoyed the Quidditch match and of course the fact that Gryffindor won! And James is lucky to be getting a chance at playing professional Quidditch, even if he doesn't get the chance. The Order meeting was fantastic; each of the participants was so well characterised and I especially loved Moody's rant about the Minister and the uselessness of the Ministry! At least they've been alerted to the fact that there's someone in the school passing along information now and hopefully they manage to stop Alrek soon!

Sian :)
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Review #32, by nott theodore The Marauder's Map

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami!

I really, really love the way that you write the friendships in this story and don't just put all of the emphasis on the relationship between James and Lily and then between Sirius and Belle as well. I think that friendship's one of the most important themes in the series and one of the things which helped get people through these wars, so it's great to see not only the Marauders but also the girls being close and helping each other when they need it, like when Lily and Alice were trying to persuade Belle to talk to Sirius.

I loved the whole interaction between Belle and Sirius as well, it seemed so believable from the characters we've seen this far. It made me smile when Belle got jealous of the Hufflepuff girl even though she was mad at Sirius :P I'm glad that they managed to survive their first fight as well and discuss some more important things.

Ah, the Marauders Map! I wondered when Lily would see it in this story and she's right, it's an incredible piece of magic. I still want to shout at them when they're not thinking about Alrek, though! At least Lily has got a good measure of Severus - even if they're not friends anymore, he wouldn't deliberately hurt her, I don't think.

Sian :)
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Review #33, by nott theodore Trouble on the Hogwarts Express

12th July 2014:
Hello, Jami!

Aw, the opening part of this chapter was so cute! I love the idea of James and Lily being able to communicate with little pictures of each other, kind of like the two way mirrors but only for them, and it was adorable seeing James acting like a lovesick puppy, as he put it. The mention of how his friends would tease him was great, because it reminded us that they are just young still, and I loved the bit when James was happy about being able to get Lily all angry, it made me laugh so much.

Okay, I wanted to shout at the group of them when James finally told them that he thought there was someone at Hogwarts spying on them. IT'S ALREK, GUYS! It's so annoying that we know that but they don't, and I felt sorry for Regulus actually when Sirius automatically assumed it was him. Of course it's not, but that quick anger felt really in character for Sirius - maybe the fact that he made Belle angry with him will make him think twice about reacting so much, though! I wonder what this term has in store...

Sian :)
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Review #34, by nott theodore Christmas Day

12th July 2014:
Hi, Jami!

Aw, what a cute chapter! I'm so, so happy to read this chapter and see all of these lovely characters actually have a nice time for once, and have a Christmas without it being ruined by a Death Eater attack or something. They've already gone through so much and they've got so much more to face (it's making me so sad, knowing that) so I'm happy that they actually had a nice day on Christmas Day here!

I loved the fact that the three girls got up early to try and make breakfast - it definitely seems like the sort of thing they'd do, as a gesture of appreciation. And Olivia is just so sweet, I loved the fact that she knew that Belle and Sirius were together even though Belle hadn't mentioned anything!

The only tiny piece of CC I have is that I noticed a missing dialogue tag when Augusta's trying to get Alice to eat something. Other than that it was edited perfectly!

Oh my goodness, the presents were so cute! That was honestly my favourite part of this chapter, the fact that both Lily and James had put so much effort into coming up with the perfect present for each other and they were just adorable!

Sian :)
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Review #35, by nott theodore Surviving the First Defy

12th July 2014:
Hi again, Jami!

Ah, I really loved the way that you worked this into the story already! I know that there's not that much to go off when you're writing Marauders era stories but the fact that you worked in every single bit of information that does exist about them just makes this story even better. I think it's great for us to see the 'first defy' here and the fact that they've managed to survive an encounter - though it wasn't as easy as the prophecy made it sound, necessarily!

That scene with Dumbledore was so well written. Seriously, how do you do it? He's such a hard character to write and I can never manage it, so I'm impressed by everyone who can, like you!

One thing I absolutely loved about this chapter (although it also made me really sad) was the fact that you reminded us that all of these characters are still children. They're going through a war and being forced to grow up too quickly, but at heart, they're still in school - I think the line about Regulus and the broom was the best example of that. It's just so sad!

Sian :)
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Review #36, by nott theodore Holding On To You

12th July 2014:
Hi Jami! Oh my goodness, I'm sorry it's been so long since I read and reviewed any of this story, but I'm back now - maybe a few more reviews will be the encouragement you need to carry on writing? ;)

Wow, what a chapter to carry on with! I love this story so much and it's just reminded me why once again. You write the characters so well and I think that Belle has to be one of my favourite OCs in this era, especially paired with Sirius! All of the part with Lily and James and Lily getting drunk was so cute, and I loved the way that James stopped Lily before she did something she regretted. It was nice to see a calmer bit with the four of them before the dramatic ending! I liked the interaction between Bellatrix and Rodolphus because we don't often see much of the two of them together but it was great here, and then that ending! No, what a cliffhanger! James was trying to save Lily and Bellatrix was being evil and... I'm reading on!

Sian :)
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Review #37, by SiriuslyPotter Head Boy and Girl

5th July 2014:
Really enjoying your story, it's well written and flows beautifully. Hope we see lots more of the Marauders in the upcoming chapters; I have a soft spot for Sirius and Remus.

Thank you for working so hard

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Review #38, by Thekels7 The Force That Drives Us

27th June 2014:
Quite funny and emotionally traumatizing at the same time...

Definitely deserving of the most addicting award because I couldn't stop reading, my only guilt was James's owl's name was Beowulf considering that was what I was actually supposed to be reading lol.

Good job!

Author's Response: Aww I wish I could say I was sorry about the emotionally traumatizing aspect of it...but... ;).
Thank you so much for reading, and I'm really happy you liked it!

Have fun reading Beowulf!
Jami


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Review #39, by endlessShenanigans A Night of Surprises

18th June 2014:
I'm really liking this story so far! Its not the usual James/Lily story which is refreshing, and I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so happy you're liking it!

Jami


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Review #40, by Pretense Of Perfection The Force That Drives Us

18th June 2014:
I want to start off by saying this is definitely one of the top ten best Marauder fics I've ever read. and I read a lot of them.

I do want to point out that in the beginning of the chapter when Lily is thinking about how cruel the world is, you used the word "cruelness" which would've sounded better in the sentence as "cruelty," at least in my opinion.

But wow. I'm still in shock over Belle's death. I just want to hug and love poor Sirius. I can't wait to start reading the sequel, and I hope you update it soon!

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Review #41, by Pretense Of Perfection Forever Frozen In Time

18th June 2014:
Wow...I didn't see that one coming, at least not until next chapter or possibly the sequel. I'm shocked.

Poor Belle. Poor Sirius. I don't know what to do with myself right now. I have too many feels about this.

I honestly didn't like Bella all that much at first. She was funny, but she's sort of the pretty girl that you love to hate. Over time I feel like I got to know her better, and projected a lot of myself into her as well. I really try not to do that, just for this reason, but Bella and I share a lot of personality traits. This really hit me hard.

But of course I understand. I'm not sure how everything will play out, but I do understand that sometimes a character needs to pass on for the sake of the plot. Sigh.

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Review #42, by Pretense Of Perfection Compromising and Conniving

16th June 2014:
Poor Violet...I mean, how desperate and insecure do you have to be to throw yourself at someone else's boyfriend when he clearly isn't interested. Sadly, a lot of girls seem to think this way...

Anyhow, poor Lily too! I don't know if I could hold my tongue, or my fists at my side listening to all of that! Violet is actually planning to use her body to try and manipulate James away, and Lily knows it. She has wayyy more self control than I do, that's for sure.

Overall another awesome chapter. I can't wait to finish this and start reading the sequel. Please update it soon!!

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Review #43, by Pretense Of Perfection Holding On To You

12th June 2014:
Ahhh, I can't wait for the next chapter!!!

There are some fics I read with Bellatrix that really just make me hate her through and through as a character. Than there are some where I sort of understand a small part of who she is, was, and how she got that way. This is definitely not one of the latter. I literally want to strangle her myself. If she didn't drop me first for being a muggle. Gr.

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Review #44, by Pretense Of Perfection When Past Collides With Present

11th June 2014:
Ahhh, I haven't reviewed in a few chapters!!

These last few chapters have been so intense, wow! I love all the new interaction between Bella and Sirius, its about time those two finally stopped dancing around their chemistry. As for Sirius and James? I almost can't believe they're finally officially together!

I'm also glad Christophe and the Leclaire's finally had what was coming to them as well. Poor Belle having to deal with them for so long, I really have no idea why/how she did it.

Anyways, I just wanted to say this story is so great, I've really become so enchanted by it. It's nice to read about Alice and Frank as well, before their lives took a turn for the worse.

I usually make it a point to offer some sort of constructive criticism in every review I post, just because I feel like every writer needs it, but I honestly can't think of anything that I can even say in that aspect. I would perhaps like to read a little bit more about Remus and Peter, but since the story is mainly about James and Lily I guess that's sort of expected.

And I usually don't rate, but I just had to do it on this chapter (:

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Review #45, by Pretense Of Perfection Revelations

4th June 2014:
Aw, poor Belle! Although, I sort of knew what her secret was for some reason. Probably because I keep over-identifying with her, and I have personal experience with some of this subject matter.

That being said, I think you did a pretty good job explaining her feelings and everything that happened. I think the side-effects of her miscarriage maybe could've been expanded upon a little bit more (as there are many, and they make you absolutely miserable), but overall I think you did an excellent job. I felt both sympathy and empathy toward her, as well as anger toward her family and ex-boyfriend.

Of course Lily and Alice are there for her, that's just the type of friends that they are, and it made me feel a little bit warm and fuzzy inside. I hope she tells Sirius soon!!

Oh, and I think this was from the last chapter, but I also absolutely knew that Alrek was a death eater. He was just too smooth and polite, and so interested in Lily he couldn't have been one of the good guys. I mean come on now.

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Review #46, by Pretense Of Perfection No More Secrets

1st June 2014:
Wow, the secret is finally out! I've been dying to know since it was first hinted at...wow. Just wow.

The emotions you evoke and portray are stunning. It's a true testament to Lily's character that even from the beginning, she didn't blame Sirius. I know personally I probably would have, at least at first, until I calmed down and saw through the haze of confusion and grief.

I honestly understand why James reacted so strongly, and I'd be disappointed if he didn't. It's just true to his character in my opinion. He has a hot tempter, and loves Lily very much. Watching her suffer was probably one of the worst things he ever experienced.

So clearly, I thought this chapter was excellent. Poor Sirius never can seem to catch a break.

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Review #47, by Pretense Of Perfection The Picture of Friendship

1st June 2014:
I must say, this is a very well written Marauder's era fic! I like how you didn't completely ignore Peter, like a lot of other authors tend to do. To me, he was a very important character, and more often than not is done little to no justice by fan fictions writers, even in his Hogwarts years.

Anyways, I'm done ranting about that. I generally dislike the transfer student thing, but you made it work in this piece. Belle is a relatively likeable, and completely believable character. I'm not too sure how I feel about Alreck though...I'm thinking he might be a Death Eater. Dun dun dun.

I did notice some spelling/grammar errors, but nothing too bad, so I won't go ahead and lay them all out here.

There's two things I haven't been a huge fan of so far...One of them is Lily and James dorming together...it could just be a personal thing, as my head canon has always been that the Marauders dorm together no matter what, but I've always felt that the Head's sharing a dorm is just sort of...convenient I guess? And perhaps a tad unrealistic. Just my thoughts though!

The only other point in your story I'm having a bit of trouble with is Lily and James' relationship with one another. I know that they grew A LOT closer with the death of Lily's parents and all, but I feel like maybe without any of their personal back story, explaining the dynamics of their relationship before Lily's parents died, it just feels a bit...rushed or something? I don't think that's quite the word I'm looking for, but for some reason that's the best way I can think to describe it at the moment.

But again, overall it's nothing that detracts from the quality of your work, just me being canon police and super nitpicky about nonsense. I've really enjoyed this so far! It's been a while since I've read something that really draws me in that I just simply can't stop reading, and I think I may have just found it (:

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Review #48, by Pretense Of Perfection Sirius Black

29th May 2014:
Amazing first chapter! I feel so bad for Lily.

The interactions betweens James' parents and the three teenagers is very well written! And creative, I might add. I personally never really thought of them as aurors, but I love the idea.

I did notice a few spelling/grammar errors, but nothing that really detracts from the quality of writing at all.

The imagery you use is magnificent, it made me feel almost like I was sitting there drinking cocoa with all of them (wouldn't that be my wildest dreams come true). Simply stunning.

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Review #49, by Andreanne The Force That Drives Us

19th May 2014:
I finished reading this at one in the morning yesterday. It truly is addicting! Probably the best Jily fic I've ever read. There was the perfect balance between James/Lily moments and darker moments that showed us that the War was beginning. I've got nothing else to add except that I wished it was longer :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this lovely review and awesome compliments! I'm so happy you liked it!!!

Thanks again!
Jami


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Review #50, by classicblack The Force That Drives Us

11th May 2014:
So I know why you won a Dobby for most addicting story.

I'm usually one of those people that leaves a nice little review every chapter but I was so wrapped up in this story and spending my weekend (which I should have spent revising) finishing it that I couldn't leave a review until now.

And let me tell you this story was phenomenal. Absolutely brilliantly done. There were no plot holes and hardly any cliches (and anyway everyone loves a good cliche now and again) and the dialogue was lovely and the pace was perfect and just gah. I loved it. I used to give out that word too liberally in reviews but I truly did love this story. I cannot wait to continue on to the sequel.

This story made me laugh and get a little choked up and just go aw. It was suspenseful and addicting. Seriously, well done.

Fantastic job and happy writing,
classicblack

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