Reading Reviews for The Society
  
32 Reviews Found

Review #26, by DracoFerret11 No Turning Back

12th August 2012:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you for the Bronze vs Blue battle! :D So, let's go over things:

Style: Normally I don't start by talking about this, but I really wanted to in your case. I think your style really lent itself to this story. I could actually imagine this as a published book. It was really beautiful just HOW you wrote this. Great job.

Characterization: Okay! So we've got Persephone and Arnold in this chapter. Both were quite good, though I must admit that I wasn't overly fond of either of their last names. Anyhow, their characterization was good despite the surnames. ;] I liked that Persephone was doing what it took to protect her family, even at the expense of her own happiness. That's a great characteristic for a heroine. And Arnold was the perfect mix of disdainful and complex. You wrote him in a way that made readers confused about his intentions, which I liked.

Descriptions: I LOVED that I could really see everything that was happening in this story. It was very poignant how you described the rain and the unobtrusive house and the carriage. We didn't get many details about how the characters looked, though. But that's the only place that you slipped on descriptions. Everywhere else, they were great.

Emotions: I liked that I could see that Persephone was making this choice to protect her family. That's a very good motivation. I think you handled it well. Overall, I liked the emotions in this a lot. :D

Plot: You definitely have the beginnings of an interesting story here! I like that it's set in a past time and that there's something intriguing about the "Society." That brings readers in very quickly. Nicely done!

Great beginning to a story. This was a very interesting chapter and I'm sure you'll do well when you write more. Keep up the good work!

--Emily

Author's Response: Thanks for your awesome review!!

I'm really glad that you liked the way I wrote this... It was just something that I had a quick idea for one day, and so I wrote it all down with no inkling of where the plot should go or how the characters should act. After much editing, this is the result. It's definitely come to mean a lot more than it once did!!

As far as the last names... I see your point. I was trying to make them seem strange, but I think I went a little too far with "Nimbletrout." It's kind of far-fetched. And "Castleberry" doesn't quite fit Persephone, either. Thanks for pointing their surnames out to me... Otherwise, I would have left them the same. Later on when I find the time, I'll give them better last names. It would definitely benefit the story, I think!

Thank you so much for your wonderful compliments and suggestions!!

~~UnluckyStar57


 Report Review

Review #27, by LyrisLovegood No Turning Back

17th July 2012:
Hey :)

I love this chapter. It has a lot of mystery and unanswered questions..a cliffhanger. There is so many questions running through my head like what exactly is the society and why was it form?

Keep up the good work :D

Author's Response: Thank you!!

It's been quite a while since I've been on my account here... Your review was a nice surprise!! :)

The second chapter for this story is currently in the works, but as school is starting for me soon, I don't know when I'll be able to finish or post it. There are a lot of questions that I have to answer for myself before I write about them! :)

Thanks again for your review!


 Report Review

Review #28, by Jchrissy No Turning Back

28th June 2012:
What an intoxicating first chapter!! I like that you had then traveling by carriage, it gave it a spooky feel. Your descriptions were wonderful and flawless, I felt liked was there through the entire story.

I am so curious about this society! Any hints?! ;)

Great first chapter, it had a dark tragic mood, very compelling!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! This was my first story on HPFF, and I'm very happy to know that you like it.

No, no hints about the Society... Yet. If I find time (who know when that will be?!), I will update the story in July.

Thanks for your review! :)


 Report Review

Review #29, by LittleLionGirl No Turning Back

27th June 2012:
Good start of the story, but what exactly is THE society? Who is in it? Do we get a back story? Is this society next Generation D.E. or somwthing new entirely? What if I wish for a virtual cupcake? Why is my review all questions so far?. Hm. Food for thought I suppose. Thanks though for the CC in Albus in Wonderland by the way. Hope you dont mind but you are in my AN at the bottem of the updated chapter 1.

Author's Response: Agh!! Thank you so much!! I didn't expect to be in an AN!! Love it!!

The Society is a story that I just started writing one day with no plan whatsoever. Over time, it has turned into a lot of half-formed ideas, and this chapter is only the beginning of a lot of deep, dark things. :)

As for the era, I'm going for late 1800's, when Albus Dumbledore was about 7 or 8. He comes into the story at some point, but right now, I'm still tossing ideas about.

I will probably update this story sometime in the early fall... I want to make sure the next chapter is an adequate follow-up that explains a little more.

And yes, you DO get a virtual cupcake... In fact, I'm thinking I'll give you a virtual cupcake store for all of your loveliness. :)


 Report Review

Review #30, by Ravenclaw_Charm No Turning Back

20th June 2012:
Wow, brilliantly written first chapter. I'm so curious to find out what this "Society" is.
Hm...do I see feminism as an underlying theme? (Or something?) Well, you've definitely caught my attention!
Your descriptions are great, and, like I said, this first chapter was so well written. You haven't revealed too much, so I want to read more! This seems like a very promising fic. Good job! :) 10/10 Hope to see you again in BvB!

Author's Response: 10/10?! Really?! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
This is actually my very first fanfiction, but it's fallen by the wayside in favor of a challenge story that I'm writing...
There will definitely be more information to come, probably later this summer or early fall, and I can only hope that the new chapter meets the standard of this one. :)
Again, I'm very glad that you liked it and that you think it has promise. It's kind of my baby. ;)


 Report Review

Review #31, by xxstaindrosesxx No Turning Back

29th May 2012:
Well, this was interesting. I'm not quite sure where you are going with this, but I got a hint of The Skulls in this story? I don't know if you have seen those movies or not, but The Skulls is also about a secret society, so it just reminded me of that.

I hope you mention in the next chapter who the girl is and who her companion is, but I get it. You have to keep the reader in suspense!

Anyways, I liked how detailed this read despite being written in first person. I think first person can be so difficult to write, but maybe that's just me.

Hope to see more and where you take this fanfic!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!
I actually resubmitted a different (and better, in my opinion) version of this chapter in the queue just yesterday, so it should clear things up a bit.
I've never actually written a fanfiction before, so if it seems shaky at times, call me out! :)
And no, I've never heard of The Skulls... I didn't mean to copy them! D:
Thanks again for reading and reviewing!!


 Report Review

Review #32, by LailaCary No Turning Back

23rd May 2012:
I anxiously await the next turn of events!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>