166 Reviews Found

Review #26, by LittleLionGirl The Informant

25th January 2014:
Wow. This is an amazing first chapter. I really like all the AU bits mixed together! It really makes your story one of a kind! I really wonder why Devlin decided to change his name. And who's body they buried... I mean it might not be essential to the plot at the second but every Sherlock Holmes needs a ginger midget in the casket I guess... Anyways. The characters have made a nice development. I like how Harry isn't so golden anymore.


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Review #27, by toomanycurls Into the Fog

25th January 2014:
Hello!! I was about right with the "several hours later" projection, haha. My dad visited today so I'm just now sitting down to my computer.

I was quite taken with Devlin's hatred and mistrust of Harry and Alexandra. His ability to sense the emotions at play was quite intersting. It really showed how much he learned to manipulate people while he was with Voldemort. I really liked how his equated being Devlin with a dream he had. I could see how brainwashing would cause that. Oh gosh, when Remus walked in and Geoffrey and Devlin reacted so violently, I was at the edge of my seat! I'm eager to see the reason Remus bit him (and why Harry's cool with it). I'm sure there had to be something weird going on for lycanthropy being the better option.

Sirius was quite believable in this chapter. He would be quite unhappy with someone who both threatened Remus and was involved in keeping Devlin with Voldemort. Geoffrey's passionate defense of Devlin was quite heart warming. I know he's on the wrong side but I do like him.

I'm not surprised that Devlin is planning to escape whenever/however possible - it's so tragic!


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Review #28, by Rumpelstiltskin Professor for a Day

25th January 2014:
Oh Dumbledore's twinkling eyes ;).

It's completely understandable that Harry doesn't want Devlin being used, what good parent would? What gives me chills is the fact that Devlin calls it being valued...or having value. He's only used to "having value" if its been for Voldemort's advantage, and he defines his "worth" by it. He was valuable enough to be "kept safe"...oh Devlin. Harry's words really impacted him here, as they should have. Poor boy.

Devlin's terrified by the thought of Voldemort being able to extract the memories of the people in the room. I mean, who wouldn't be? That man (though, I use the term loosely) would kill Devlin in an instant if he thought that Devlin was betraying him. He has every right to be terrified.

Did the rat have a missing toe? Hm. Well, I would suppose that if you want to use an Unforgivable, you have to really WANT to use the unforgivable. Harry's hatred for Pettigrew would certainly be grounds for that, I would say. Very clever, slipping that little detail in, by the way.

Practicing the Imperius curse on willing subjects (human subjects) is an interesting demonstration. I mean, obviously Harry's not going to do anything to harm them...but Devlin may be onto something by proclaiming their idiocy.

And the Cruciatus...well, yes I'd expect that one to be particularly horrifying.

Oh, this was such a good chapter! (Who am I kidding, they're all very good chapters.) Always exciting and interesting!


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Review #29, by Lululuna The Day After Tomorrow

25th January 2014:
Review swap! :)

Devlin teaching Emma to dance was so cute! I love how she brings out the part of him which just wants to see him happy, and how he's admitting that to himself and to her. I feel like he has changed and developed a lot through the past few chapters and it's really cool to see.

Devlin's hate for Bellatrix is interesting. I feel like she was one of the few female figures he would have known which might explain his general hostility and suspicion of the women he meets, though he isn't much more open with the men either. The idea of her teaching Devlin to dance is kind of nice, but also creeps me out a little.

Oh, I also really like how Emma is one of the few people that Devlin actually calls by their name, not "the man" or "the woman." I think she used to be called "the girl" more frequently, but now he actually uses her name when he thinks about her. I also think I've noticed Devlin stopping referring to Harry's eyes are "Killing Curse" (makes me wonder where he's seen the killing curse!) so much, which is a really subtle way of showing how he is adjusting.

Of how heartbroken the girl would be, when he died. She would be safe, though - and that was all that mattered. Okay, so I'm really worried about the ambiguous pronoun of 'he' here. Who is going to die - Harry or Devlin?! Ahh!!

I thought the moment where Emma hides under Devlin's blankets so he can change really endearing and relatable as something a child might do. It's nice to see how they feel more comfortable with each other and are actually sort of hanging out. :)

You write Snape really well. He's a tricky character to get right but you've really written him perfectly here, with the surly and snarky behaviour but a hint that his brain is always churning and thinking.

I suppose Harry is the perfect person to do a guest lecture on the Unforgivable curses, seeing as he's survived one! :P I'm really excited for them to go to Hogwarts and what characters they might encounter there. It's interesting how Dumbledore is more inclined to want to probe Devlin about the Death Eaters, but fits with how Dumbledore uses Harry in the books and not necessarily for his own good, precisely. I like how you've kept a lot of the crucial characters alive as well. :)

Great chapter, I can't wait to come back and read the next one! :D

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Review #30, by theblacksisters The Informant

25th January 2014:
The writing is vivid, and it seems like something that could evolve into a fascinating plotline. At the end, the last word should have an apostraphe (sp?) (son's).
Looking forward to reading more.

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Review #31, by Lululuna Shifting Thoughts

24th January 2014:
Review Swap! :)

Another brilliant chapter, as always. I hope you're not getting tired of hearing me say that! I love Devlin and seeing the process of his mind, and it's quite interesting how for the last several chapters the story has mainly been from his point of view, with a few slips into Harry or Geoffrey. You write from a child's perspective so well, especially considering one as complicated as Devlin.

Ah, Devlin is a little stylish lad, isn't he? :P Thinking about him at Hogwarts is a little terrifying, especially with all the Tom Riddle as a child references in this chapter. Well, if being an evil grandson to Voldy doesn't work out, he could always be a fashion designer for wizards. :P Okay, but all kidding aside, I think how he goes upstairs looking like a boy and comes back up looking like a man was very telling.

So the plot thickens about what exactly Devlin did to protect Emma! What I'm hypothesizing from this chapter is that there's some sort of love charm over the Potter house, like the one that Lily's blood meant for Harry when he went to the Dursleys, because of some sacrifice Devlin made. That might explain why Emma is extra safe when she's at home. It also seems in this chapter like the little girl who was tortured was actually some other little girl who Devlin either thought was Emma or identified as being relatable to Emma. Ah, this is so complicated, and I'm really excited to find out more!

The flying was a great lighter moment, especially how Devlin had a little tantrum when Harry let him win. That was a bit of Dubhan, since Dubhan would hate for somebody to treat him like a child, but then also perhaps a bit of Devlin with how he acted quite childish about it. It's so interesting to see the cracks in his demeanour and how he's very, very slowly starting to open up in some ways.

The possibility of Voldemort hiding information in Devlin's head because he knows Harry wouldn't let the Ministry infiltrate it was SO brilliant! I honestly have no idea how you think of these things.

Emma. ♥ She's so adorable, and so is Devlin's obvious lingering love and protection for her even if he doesn't quite recognize it as being love. I thought the way the picture she drew was described was really well done, I could imagine how it looked in my mind with the dog's tail looking like a fifth leg and Devlin's face being turned into a smile. :)

And Devlin is now using his scheming powers to protect her - yay! It's also quite chilling how well he understands "Grandfather" to the point of knowing what Voldy might be thinking and reacting.

This chapter was wonderful, as always. Your writing is so chilling and fluid and beautiful, and I always love reading and leaving my thoughts on your story! :)

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Review #32, by CambAngst Power Play

24th January 2014:
Hi, there! I am gradually unraveling the crushing complexities of life and getting back to things I enjoy. Including this story.

Harry has some pretty sage advice for Devlin here. And I think it says something about the way their relationship has evolved that Devlin was smart enough to take it. He's such a perceptive kid, but even perceptive kids can take a while to come to terms with what's happening, so it seemed appropriate that the fact that the Ministry had come for him didn't sink in for Devlin right away.

Gotta love the loyalty of Harry's men. Even when they're sent on a mission that Harry clearly has been kept in the dark about, Damian is still doing what little he can to help. Devlin's little flashback was also tantalizing. It seems that Alex is wrapped up in these jarring mental images of his, as well.

The book... wow. I'm not sure that I think it's a horcrux, just based on the way that it interacts with Devlin. That said, however, Voldemort has plainly put a lot of himself into it. It seems to know exactly what to say in order to kick Devlin's self-control and self-preservation instincts back into action. Devlin's thoughts as he puts the book away were chilling, but also hopeful in a way: "You are worth something. You are good. I value you. You are still mine." Here's hoping that Devlin will eventually start to appreciate the difference between the possessive way that Voldemort values him and the selfless, unconditional way that Harry and Alex value him.

"You packed a bag, huh? Clever boy. Come here, lets have a look. Go fetch your jacket from the hook, yeah?" -- I see what you did here. The contrast with Voldemort's voice in his head, calling him a "foolish boy". I like it!

The bit where Harry asks for his backup wand is just brilliant. I kind of suspected that Harry knew and I really wondered when you'd spring that on us. Excellent timing. And the fact that Devlin trusts him enough to do it says something as well. The hiding spot under the floorboard was the coup de grace here. Something that Devlin would certainly respect.

When she was furious she looked like him. -- I have to say that for a chapter where she doesn't speak a word, you've done some pretty nifty character development for Alexandra here.

I absolutely love what you've done with Rufus Scrimgeour in this chapter. He's somebody that Devlin wouldn't necessarily know, so using descriptions was a great way to capture Devlin's point of view. Scrimgeour's voice sounds perfectly reminiscent of the books. A soldier trying to be a politician. Forced politeness with steel lurking just beneath the surface. The lion was a fantastic analogy.

Devlin does a tremendous job of acting his age. Very literally acting, at least until the end. I wanted to ruffle his hair and tell him I was proud of him, although I suspect he'd have said, "Don't touch me." I loved the way that he used Voldemort's chastising words to help him figure out what he should be doing in each situation. That was brilliantly written.

"In a deadly conversation, always keep the quaffle in their hands; it is easier to dodge than to aim when you are scrambling. Voldemort did not make quidditch metaphors. Dubhn couldn't quite remember who had made that one." -- Ha! Well, I definitely have a few suspicions. I love when little bits of his pre-Voldemort life filter to the surface and confuse him.

Devlin was just brilliant in front of the Minister and the others. I especially loved the way that he was about to wrap it all up. He did show Scrimgeour why he was beyond his reach. He did win the battle, if not necessarily the war. And he did it without uttering a curse or a threat. He found a new source of power, one very different from the kind he tasted as Voldemort's prized possession. Good on him, I'd say.

Now the last thing he says before stepping into the floo... that could have probably used a bit more thought. I'm sure he'll hear all about it very soon.

One small typo I noticed: He was important to Voldemort - and they would try to charm him before they tried to torture him - today's happenings had proved they're first move wasn't wands and curses and screams. -- their first move

Otherwise, superb writing! Looking forward to the next!

Author's Response: Congrats on beginning to unravel the crushing complexities of life - I'll be doing that same thing starting next week. Finally going back to school after a year away due to a car accident. The good news is my writing usually improves rather than suffers as I procrastinate on both the homework and the writing - going to one or the other when I am stuck.

We certainly saw some relationship growth between Harry and Devlin in this chapter and also Alexandra to an extent: he used the mirror, when he thought of what it would have meant at Voldemort's side when someone said "she'll come with us" he was ready to make sure she wasn't hurt.

You know I actually have a note about you in this chapter on the document: what will CambAngst think of this book? As I have said, you are so perceptive as you read, and I was deviously thrilled that all the guesses you made about the shrunken book were wrong. When a writer can keep a reader like you guessing is when they know they're doing a good job on deciding how to phrase things and what details to give or hide. :) I think you'll be further surprised by the book, to be honest.

"Here's hoping that Devlin will eventually start to appreciate the difference between the possessive way that Voldemort values him and the selfless, unconditional way that Harry and Alex value him." I think he will fully recognize that when/if Voldemort dies - because until that time Voldemort will still be a threat and he will still feel some tiny degree of need to protect his value to this threat.

I'm glad you liked how Harry dealt with this. :)

It was more fun than I suspected to write Rufus. I'm glad he came out as realistically similar to himself in the books.

To be honest Voldemort's chastising words kinda helped me make sure I was writing Devlin in a different enough way, but still remaining true so it would be plainly clear it was an act. And yeah, he definitely would have said "Don't touch me". LOL

I'm glad you liked how Devlin dealt with this. I really enjoyed writing him like this - under real pressure. I especially liked his boyish act at the end.

"Now the last thing he says before stepping into the floo... that could have probably used a bit more thought. I'm sure he'll hear all about it very soon." ...yeah he says he knows why he's done it but I'm not sure he really had the right idea going when he said that. Harry will certainly have something to say about it.

I just finished re-reading the next chapter and know where I'm beginning the next one (I hate posting before I've started the next one). I swear I've re-read it ten times but I always find a sentence I feel MUST be tweaked or surely the reader will be led in an entirely different direction than I intended...I'm a bit OCD. Anyways - it will be up soon. :)

Thanks for the wonderful review!

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Review #33, by Pixileanin The Man at the Table

23rd January 2014:
"He looked around, because that was what he was trained to do."

Ah ha! I knew there was something to that! I love how you describe the way Dillon feels the wards, how he can tell about their maker from the way the wards are vibrating. Very interesting and cool.

"Yet he was only so very polished with his grandfather and these people didn't act at all like him."

Oh, I hope not, Devlin. Because if everyone acted like your grandfather, this world wouldn't be able to take it for very long. It's so sad that he thinks they are torturing him, yet, given his past, I can only assume that putting him in a place that brings on memories of the way things used to be before Voldemort can only be considered torture by him. He's worked so very hard to forget all of this, for his own survival.

That wand that Harry says has been charmed for household duties: I like that idea. I can only imagine what it's like to be a wizard with a house of children, and having them accidentally (or curiously) pick up something as dangerous as a wand and start swinging it around. Who knows what could happen?

The conversation Harry has with Devlin is an eye opener. Harry has all these things to consider. I'm intrigued by the hints you have put forth about Devlin's mother. Devlin recognizes something in her, and you've dropped information about Alexandra in other chapters too. I can't wait to see how this plays out later.

Harry is so torn by this experience of having a child who is not a child back in his home. And he's right. Trying to explain things to Emma isn't going to be easy, not when he has to do it in front of Devlin, and certainly not if Devlin is claiming that he doesn't belong in that house. I can see Devlin trying to use Harry's kindness against him, and this just isn't going to be pretty for a while, is it? Wow. What a story you have here!

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Review #34, by Rumpelstiltskin The Day After Tomorrow

23rd January 2014:

Sweet Emma seems to bring out the best in Devlin, really. He's completely unperturbed by her, given her innocence, and he doesn't have to put up all of those protective walls of his. I think he plays the role of a brother very nicely, despite everything he's been through.

Oh Devlin. His remark to Harry -- claiming that he did not give permission for Harry to leave, and that he should have waited -- sounded awfully close to Devlin not wanting Harry to abandon him. And, if I'm not mistaken, Harry caught that. Devlin's always a curious one, it feels like by commenting that he also has scars that he is, in his own way, searching for commonalities between Harry and himself.

"If I promise not to run away, can Emma go dancing?" --How absolutely endearing is that? My goodness, if anything can cause Devlin to make some progress, it will be Emma. He wants to make her happy, and that just gives me some serious feels (but good feels). Yet, still, he continues to convince himself that the primary purpose of behaving properly (in other words, not running away) is to get his wand back. While that's a very strong motivator, I think I'm seeing some progress in Devlin here.

I hate it when somebody is staring at me/the paper when I'm attempting to write *anything*. If I were Devlin, I would be supremely annoyed. I don't think I've said much about Alex, previously. Something about the way she promised that she'd make Devlin be alright, eventually, really made her stand out in this chapter.

Oh goodness, I laughed when Emma called Snape "the mean man". Well, yes, I'd imagine Snape's abrasive personality would come across that way...especially to a little girl. Devlin's mild confusion as Emma flung the blankets over her head in order to give him some privacy was also very humorous.

The lingering comment of Devlin actually meaning that he would protect Emma while Harry's same comments weren't truthful is a sharp, stabbing thought in the back of my mind. I suppose that Devlin still doesn't trust Harry.

Devlin and Snape...their personalities are fabulous when brought together.

Another wonderful chapter! Oh, and also in regards to one of my previous comments: the story being intense was definitely meant as a compliment :D.

Thanks for the swap!


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Review #35, by academica The Informant

22nd January 2014:
Hello there, here for our review swap!

Okay, right away I like Devlin. Clearly he's inherited some of his father's brazen nature and determination not to bend in the face of evil. I thought you wrote the torture scene really well and didn't glaze over the sticky parts. Action isn't my forte and I always admire an author who can do it well. I also thought you replicated Tom Riddle's canon personality nicely there.

Harry kind of reminds me of Batman, though that probably sounds weird. He's supposed to be a force for good, but he harbors these dark desires that he has to fight in order to not fall into them. He's very gritty and clearly grown up from the wonder-struck canon hero, which makes him really interesting. I really like flawed Harry. Fortunately, he's got people around to help keep him in line, like Ron and Sirius (yay, Sirius!).

Wow, that memory was incredible. Your detail in describing it really brought up a lot of emotion for me. What a tender moment, and surely so difficult for Harry to share with an enemy.

I'm very curious about Devlin's fate now! Was he enslaved by the Dark Lord as a result of impressing him? Did he escape, perhaps? I really want to see Harry reunited with his son, as I'm sure the loss has taken a terrible toll on the whole family.

Thanks so much for the swap, because otherwise I wouldn't have discovered this wonderful story. I hope I can return soon to read the next chapter.

Nice job! :)


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Review #36, by Pixileanin Into the Fog

21st January 2014:
The opening to this chapter... with the difference in the names... oh that tore me apart right there. This little boy feels so manipulated, and to have that fear that he's not even allowed to feel things, that's really sad.

I am very impressed with the way that Devlin's mother approaches the situation. She seems to have some instinctive understanding of how to get him to at least hear her out. All children are drawn into a story. I love how you did that.

"Geoffrey's eyes were empty too and he had never seen eyes like that before on someone who was alive."

These descriptions from Devlin's point of view are just fantastic. They are so child-like and frank. He can only understand what he's been shown, and the way that you show us what he's been shown through how he describes things is brilliant. And sad.

The recognition that Geoffrey has of Remus leads me to believe it has something to do with werewolves. Interesting... and oh no, Remus! What a horrific revelation!

And the whole Crucio victim thing is so horrible, but at least they have a potion for that. Does this mean that Devlin knows how to brew potions? You're using this wolf thing in a unique way, partially to protect Devlin from outside things, and also it seems that the wolf is protecting him from himself in a way. I have a feeling that his wolf will have a big part in this story. I am very excited about this!

Another fascinating chapter! There are so many dynamics here to explore, so many broken relationships, so much conflict!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the opening. :)

"He can only understand what he's been shown, and the way that you show us what he's been shown through how he describes things is brilliant. And sad." Thank you. A couple people have said to me that a child wouldn't understand things like that or wouldn't notice those things - but Devlin has seen those things more than he's seen comforting or heard kind words.

Re: Remus: Didn't see that coming, did ya? :D

Devlin knows how to brew THIS potion. He's not all-powerful, but children with medical issues are usually very informed about their issue - not necessary about all medical issues.

His wolf will definitely be important to the story.

Thank you for the great review!

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Review #37, by LittleLionGirl Into the Fog

19th January 2014:
Wow. I can't believe there is so much going on in just the fourth chapter. I have to say this was well written. There was a problem when you italicized a single word it would mash with your followingword (like so). Other than that you did very well! I like the characterization and the first person POV with Devlin was so sad!


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Review #38, by Pixileanin Midnight Routines

19th January 2014:
The memories seem to hit Harry a lot harder than his wife. I do admit that I'm going with Geoffrey's first instinct: maybe Devlin's mother has already accepted that he's out of her reach... or maybe she's just a big beast of a mother that will turn on him when he's not expecting it.

I loved your descriptions of when Devlin was afraid. "Devlin did not need to act afraid to be afraid." This explains so much of what I saw in the first chapter. And then following up with "... as long as you are afraid, you are human." I think I know where Harry is going with this. You manage to pour so much emotion into this scene without getting sappy. I am in awe of the depth here. I think I told someone else recently that dark stories come from the darkness of the content, not merely from the description surrounding them. I should just point them here to this chapter as an example. There's no dusty roads, no thunderstorms, no gloomy lighting. Just sheer horror.

With a hint of a hope.

The way that Geoffrey cares about the boy, it comes across as very genuine. I understand that his life depends on it, but it seems to go deeper than that. When he gets the opportunity to run, he takes it. I suppose at this point, he feels that Devlin is safer with him than without him. I find that interesting. The fear he has for the boy is also very intriguing. Devlin must be powerful by now, if it's been four years since that memory.

I love how you ended this chapter. It's almost cliffhanger-y, because I really want to know what Devlin will do, once he's brought up to speed about how Geoffrey took him away from Voldemort. Geoffrey is afraid of his wand, and Devlin looks about on the edge of panic. This cannot be a good thing for Harry. I hope he can handle whatever comes next.

Your writing is consistently crisp and enticing. You seem to know just which buttons to push and what information to hold back in order to keep us guessing. I am really enjoying this story a lot!

Author's Response: I hope you've seen Alexandra in a better light in further chapters. I think she is just more analytical and keeps her emotions under control.

"I think I told someone else recently that dark stories come from the darkness of the content, not merely from the description surrounding them. I should just point them here to this chapter as an example. There's no dusty roads, no thunderstorms, no gloomy lighting. Just sheer horror."

That's a huge compliment, so thank you. Wait until we start dealing with Snape - I think you will really enjoy those chapters.

Geoffrey is very interesting. He's very protective of Devlin from anything and everyone.

I really enjoy cliffhangers. I think you'll be able to count on one hand the chapters that DON'T end in a cliffhanger in this story.

Thank you for such a wonderful review!

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Review #39, by Lululuna Feverish Thoughts

18th January 2014:
Review swap! :)

I loved this chapter so much. It was really exciting, I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! First, the nightmare. I really loved this line: Most of the time Dubhn's only evidence that he'd had a nightmare was the dissipation of a silencing charm when he opened his door. This was truly brilliant writing, and so vivid in exploring the relationship and the life that Devlin would have had with "Grandfather." It really stuck with me. I also liked how Alexandra understands Devlin quite well and knows how to convince him to do what she wants.

The shopping trip was really exciting. The moment with them going into the Leaky Cauldron reminded me so much of Harry's first trip there in PS, and how he understood how confused and irritated Devlin must be feeling at all the attention. Little details here to show Devlin's character and his projected character are great, like when he says he doesn't care about the colours of his robes.

I really liked Hermione as well, how she was concerned about going into the bookshop, and how she is the one Harry turns to when asking academic questions about Occlumency.

The scene in the bookshop was so intense: how the person was hiding behind the shelf and was revealed one eye at a time from behind the books- that visual was amazing. Then how Devlin drops the books and gets Harry's attention- I think he didn't want to admit it that he doesn't want to leave and go back to Voldy. :) Which makes me happy. I'm predicting that the man in the bookshop was Malfoy, personally.

It was very chilling how the man in the bookstore recognize him as Dubhan and greeted him like that: I imagine that would be so painful for Harry, to think about how his son might have been so close when he was living his life, thinking Devlin was dead. Harry's anger interests me as well, how it almost reminds Devlin of Voldy... I was wondering, what's the mind connection between Harry and Voldemort in this story? Do they still have the link which lets Harry see into Voldy's mind? You don't need to answer that if it gives anything away, but it was just a thought which occurred to me. :)

Wow, Snape sure sneers a lot, doesn't he? :P I smiled at how Harry was surprised that Snape was in his house- it's interesting how they hate one another but Snape seems rather at Harry's beck and call. The moment with Geoffrey was amazing as well, how he was betraying his master all along- that was fascinating. I'm really looking forward to finding out what happens next. :)

Author's Response: Oh, we're on quite the roll, aren't we? How exciting! :D

Thank you. This is one of my very favorite chapters.

I hope maybe you have some clue about the nightmare that we ended in the last chapter. It's definitely not something he wants to explain to Harry.

The shopping trip. You'll get a sense of why Devlin didn't go with Malfoy soon enough.

I honestly thought that Voldemort would probably get a perverse satisfaction by parading Devlin out in public where Potter might see him but never does. I imagined that when Voldemort sees himself killing Potter he fantasizes that at that moment he will tell Potter 'your son is alive' and detail each and every time Potter failed to 'rescue' him.

I love that you have picked up on Harry's anger. I haven't really meant to hide the fact, just sort of introduce it organically like it was in the books - so I'll answer. The connection is there and so is the Horcrux. In the past the connection and I assume the Horcrux have effected Harry's behaviors - but I think if Harry were more stressed, more angry, more time in a war, his son ripped away from him and more jaded, etc. etc. that the Horcrux piece might have some more sway over him. I mentioned it first in the first chapter, when he describes feeling a particular kind of anger when he captures Geoffrey.

Was he betraying his master?

"“He told me to keep the boy safe at all costs,” the Death Eater said. “I did.”"

Isn't that following orders?


Off to read your brilliant story after I feed the dogs. :)

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Review #40, by Pixileanin Only Blood

18th January 2014:
The imagery of the cup of tea in the first paragraph already tells me something about this Geoffrey character. He's calculating. In that dangerous, wait-and-see sort of way. It's kind of creepy, and a little bit enticing, because I want to know more about him now.

Apparently, so does Harry. In a bad, bad way.

There was an interesting anomaly in your writing in this chapter. It slips into present tense where Harry is involved. I don't know if that was done on purpose for stylistic purposes or not, so I thought I'd mention it. The compariason that Geoffrey makes between Harry's magic and the boy's is also disturbing. It makes me think that he knows a lot, and I'm wondering now exactly how much he's willing to divulge. How much is at stake here?

I just want to stop here and say that I am ever so happy in this AU world that Sirius Black is alive. There. Moving on.

Geoffrey's acute observations remind me of the way Devlin picked up on things in the first chapter. It might be because they are both werewolves, or because he's spent too much time being distrustful. I don't particularly enjoy the parallel, but it just made things twice as interesting.

And the immediate anger, the way Geoffrey reacted when he realized that Harry didn't protect his own son, that was exhausting! This man cares for Devlin like a father would. I can see that he would be angry at the fact that the boy's own father was not capable of protecting him like this man, but still, I have doubts about this.

Oh, and the little boy who is no longer a little boy! My heart broke for him, but I cheered for his strength, that he somehow had the will to thrive in such a horrible environment. I read all the way to the end, I was so caught up in the story. In this memory, Devlin is young enough to remember who his mother is. I wonder, after those four years, if he'd have the ability to remember any of his parents' lessons, or if they will be overwritten my Voldemort's influence. That is truly a frightening thought.

Splendid chapter! I want more!


Author's Response: "He's calculating. In that dangerous, wait-and-see sort of way. It's kind of creepy, and a little bit enticing, because I want to know more about him now." You have summed Geoffrey up faster than any other reader so far.

The present tense issue...yeah. The story was originally written in the present tense. Sometimes in early chapters while rewriting I slipped back. I will be editing all the chapters soon. :)

I think Geoffrey absolutely knows a lot. ;-)

I love Sirius Black! Although to be fair, when I started this story years ago (3rd rewrite, I think), Sirius Black was still alive and this story wasn't as AU as it is now. All cannon information has been incorporated though.

Interesting comparison with Geoffrey and Devlin.

"This man cares for Devlin like a father would. I can see that he would be angry at the fact that the boy's own father was not capable of protecting him like this man, but still, I have doubts about this." Doubts are good to have. He definitely wants to keep the boy safe. But why hand him over now?

I won't ruin the surprise for you. You'll find out in the next two chapters if he remembers.

Awesome review. Loving your story, BTW. I'm still growing in my reviewing talents, so pardon my sub-par review of your story. I get better as a story progresses and I have had time to wonder and ponder on the plot. :)

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Review #41, by LilyLou The Informant

18th January 2014:
Great chapter. This is interesting and unique. I've never read anything like this before. Great word choice and such. Your writing is superb.


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Review #42, by Maelody The Informant

18th January 2014:
Wow. Let me say this first. I do not read AU fanfiction unless I write it, and even my AU is not that AU. This, however, was a wonderful read. Your characters remained believable, even in such a different time, and I'm so happy to see characters that are meant to be dead alive here. I feel so bad for Harry and the way he has admitted to himself that inwardly he is broken. Ron made me smile when he was still by his best friend's side.

I about cried with how awful they were torturing Devlin. I couldn't help but think of how he was just a six year old, and yet he somehow wanted to still make his father proud in those last few moments before he was broken. And I'm absolutely sick about the fact they sent Harry another little boy's body to bury.

There's only two things I got confused about, and one of them is the time frame of everything that happened after the prologue. It went on about how Devlin "died" two weeks into his capturing, and then a few months go by before Voldemort takes a liking to him, but is it just after those few months? Or is it years and years later? Because I honestly thought the Death Eater was going to be Devlin.

Other than that, I was just a little confused as to who Emma was. I thought maybe she was Harry's daughter, Devlin's younger sister, but with Sirius being around I get the feeling she is Sirius' wife or girlfriend? While Alexandra is Harry's wife (though I do wonder what happened to Ginny). Really, though, that's all I was confused about.

I really loved the memory, and you depicted it wonderfully. This story seems to be well thought out and I'm excited to keep going with it! :)

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Review #43, by Lululuna Frozen Freedom

18th January 2014:
Review swap! :)

I really admire your writing style- how the story moves very slowly and delicately, with a great deal of time spent of character development and conversation, yet is so enthralling and constantly changing and surprising me. I feel like there's no such thing as a filler chapter in your story because each event and discussion builds on the mystery that is Devlin's past and develops the fascinating, multi-faceted elements of his character.

The snippet at the end was so tense and intriguing, and I really hope that it was just a nightmare and not a memory! I don't see how it could be a memory as nobody has mentioned Emma being kidnapped, but I wonder if Devlin dreaming about her being tortured is a projection of her innocent persona into his own younger self's experiences. The moment where he took the portrait of them as children was so sweet as well.

It's interesting how at the beginning of the story, Voldemort seemed like he really did care for Devlin, but as the plot progresses it's revealed that despite Devlin's devotion to him, the boy was quite badly treated. The comment Geoffrey made about Voldy punishing Devlin if he went back really hit home, it made me quite frightened for him.

Speaking of Geoffrey, I was really glad they were reunited. Devlin's thoughts that he is a dark wizard and that Harry couldn't possibly love a dark wizard really grew here, and I'm glad Harry is starting to understand him a little better. It's interesting how perceptive Alexandra is- it almost sounds like she's inherited her father's gift for Legilimency of a kind.

I wonder if Devlin's extra abilities as a werewolf, like being able to turn into one when it's not the full moon and control himself during the transformations, are unusual in the world you've created here. I really like all the werewolf lore which has been built up, like how Devlin can sense certain things when Remus is here.

It was fantastic to see Snape make an appearance as well. You got his greasiness and his strange overpowering presence and his hatred of Harry just right- it fit well that Devlin being both Harry's son and Voldemort's grandson that Snape would dislike him.

Great chapter, as usual! :) I'm sure I'll be back soon! :D

Author's Response: Okay, so I have been terrible at replying to reviews lately. I thought I'd just start at the top of my list.

Thank you - I feel like in this rewrite I have really grown enough as a reader to balance my need to details with the need a reader has to be kept in the actual story and not distracted by unimportant things.

It was a nightmare. It was not Emma. I'm not answering if it's real or not, though. ;-)

I think that sense of whether Voldemort treated him well will waver back and forth, depending upon who you are asking. Geoffrey may have a better sense of reality than Devlin.

You're spot on about Alexandra! It will be fun when Devlin figures it out, too.

Geoffrey - oh I love writing him. He still has some surprises to reveal. ;-)

Devlin doesn't turn into a werewolf on demand - he turns into a wolf. I will look into making that more clear. He is a animagus. Why and how will be explained later on. I've had a couple others comment on the werewolf lure in my story too. I didn't think of it as a really cool part of the story until it was pointed out to me as being interesting - it's always nice to have a surprising compliment. :) Devlin's werewolf is a bit...odd though. You'll learn more as you go on.

Snape and I have a love-hate writing relationship. He argues terribly over his lines and when he's in a chapter I usually have at least 1,000 left over words that involved him that didn't make the cut. That said, I love the end result of getting him right.

Snape does dislike him. He is Potter's. He doesn't know he's Voldemort's. But he is also Lily's and it's important to remember Devlin doesn't look like Harry. Snape will play an interesting role as the story goes forward. :)

Thank you so much for this super review! :D

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Review #44, by Pixileanin The Informant

18th January 2014:
The whole premise for this AU story is downright creepy. I'm a big fan of oddly skewed plotlines, so I'm kind of excited to get into your story.

I already like your chapter summary. It's so true, and it sets the mood for the state of mind that your character has. I love that in spite of the cruelty he's endured, he still has some kind of strength inside him to look the man in the eyes and find words to answer. And I love his answer, "The center of your plots?" It made me smile, knowing that a young boy would parrot back something like that, something that made sense when an adult says it, but it only comes from the boy's instincts. It makes him seem wiser than he is. Possibly. It also shows me that he pays attention.

Devlin is an interesting name. I quite like it, and I assume that you chose it for a reason. You've alluded to an inner wolf, and transformations, and it sounds like this boy is accustomed to routine pain. It's probably why he withstands it as well as he does, and I love that he expects his magic to make it go away, that he has the strength to hold out for that, even though it doesn't immediately come. Then something happens, something dulls his senses for a moment, until it's brought round again by this curious thing inside of him. You're showing us something there. I'm pretty excited about it.

Your characterization of the "bad man" is truly chilling. I don't think I can adequately describe the sheer evilness that you've infused him with. Just know that it's so wrong in all the right ways.

I loved the first paragraph of your introduction to Harry Potter here. "Harry Potter wasn't so Golden anymore, but he was still as much a Hero as ever." That picture, when the little boy's eyes opened, the way that Harry followed through was very powerful, the actions of a desperate father who had been given a final hope.

That memory which Harry shared with the Death Eater was positively heartbreaking. I couldn't imagine a more touching scene, and I'm surprised that Harry was able to keep it together through that whole experience.

And then he reveals that Devlin is alive! Now that is a hooky hook, if every I read one! Really great first chapter! I will be back to read more!


Author's Response: I'm so glad the summary piqued your interest. I got some help on that and love it now. And I find I like my story being described as having an "oddly skewed plotline" LOL.

I love that you've picked up on Devlin's ability to parrot phrases back. He's one of those children that picks out keywords, remembers them, and utilizes them. It does make him seem older and wiser than he is.

The name "Devlin" means "fierce or brave". You will hear another name if you continue, and that one means "dark one". So yes, they were picked on purpose. :)

Devlin is a werewolf - we will learn more about it in the next couple chapters.

I felt like a child with as much innate control over his magic (such as Tom Riddle had) would expect that his magic would do what it had always done: make whatever he didn't like stop.

I am showing you something there and I'm glad you're pretty excited about it. :)

"Just know that it's wrong in all the right ways" - that made me smile!

Thank you! I tried hard to maintain the Harry we know with the Harry that would have come about after more war and the causality of his son.

I hope you'll be back soon! :D Thank you for such a lovely review!

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Review #45, by Rumpelstiltskin Shifting Thoughts

18th January 2014:
Look at me, almost halfway to the current chapter :).

Heh, Devlin's going to have all the girls following around. That's adorable. Poor little dude won't know what to do with all of the attention. Geoffrey will have to be his bodyguard.

While he's positively adorable, Devlin's also a bit creepy. I wonder what the rest of the nickname was. It seems like Geoffrey almost fears Devlin, to a certain extent. Or maybe not. Devlin Imperioused Geoffrey? Wow. *Sigh* Every time I feel like there's going to be a breakthrough with the boy, he just turns around and regresses a bit -_-. This story will forever be intense.

Devlin has never ridden a broom for fun. I just want to hug him. And then shake him a little bit, but I wouldn't because he's a kid. Still. He's nearly as frustrating as Severus Snape, making him a fantastic character.

So, Devlin didn't take Harry letting him win very well, did he?

And he's going to keep Emma safe. This boy confuses me to know end. Of course, his disputing ideas makes sense, with everything that has happened and is currently happening. He must be utterly confused.


Author's Response: Yeah, look at that! Awesome!

I think Devlin would level you with a mighty glare if you ever called him adorable...just sayin'...

Now calling him creepy - he might not mind that so much. I think Geoffrey is keeping his cards close to himself. Yeah, Devlin is defiantly against reform. lol

"This story will forever be intense" Aw, thanks! :D I think...

LOL at you comparing him to Severus Snape. You're gonna love when he's at Hogwarts, in that case.

Thank you for such a lovely review!

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Review #46, by Lululuna A Brillant Plan

17th January 2014:
Hello! :)

Oh, so Alexandra might have known what torture is?! I'm getting more and more curious about her, through Devlin's opinions and speculations on her and the cautious and less coddling ways she treats him. I wonder how much Voldy knows about her as well, and If he would ever be interested in her and Emma the way he is in Devlin.

Devlin's thoughts on love and power and how they relate to one another is so interesting. I like to believe that he has the ability to love again, and choose love over power: he's just too brainwashed by Voldy for now and his perverse ideologies. It's like he recognizes that he's the object of love, but doesn't understand it. I found the childlike, but logical way Devlin was thinking through fear to be very interesting as well: how he thinks it's a powerful thing to be able to incite fear, and how he thinks of Harry as being very powerful yet also weak because of his abilities to love and fear for those he loves.

Remus' words about loving Devlin for "him" were so genuine and heartbreaking. I like how Devlin separates himself from the "little boy," and how it's an entirely different and dead identity. It's so sad, but feels almost true in a horrible way, how Remus points out that Devlin thinks that they would hate him if they could remove those two identities of the boy he used to be and who he is. It's a really distressing question that I don't know how to answer or think of.

It's creepy but wonderful how Voldemort is just so present despite not actually appearing in the action. He seems to haunt Devlin's every thought and interpretation, and relates to both Devlin and the way he perceives the world in accordance with how Voldy would see it.

Aw! So Devlin remembers Emma, and wants to make her smile! That was just so sweet. And the story seemed to hint that perhaps Voldy had threatened to hurt Emma unless Devlin cooperated when he was first captured? That's really such a beautiful but tragic idea. I'm excited to learn more about this: the mention of the picture of Devlin as a younger boy kissing Emma's head was really sweet as well.

Devlin using the tone of voice that Voldy used for the Imperius curse was so interesting. It makes sense how children take habits and behaviours from their parents- I remember I used to always try and answer the phone in the same voice my mom used. :P That was a really cool little detail.

I feel like Devlin is almost full of self-hatred in the way he wants to run away here. He doesn't want them to figure out that he's not the boy they used to know- it's like he wants to spare them from knowing the horrible truth about him. It's like he doesn't think that he deserves them? I don't know. It's very complicated, but in a delicious and intriguing way.

A wonderful and exciting chapter, as always! :D I always love reading your story!

Author's Response: Whoa, huge review! *GRINS*

In that context Devlin was theorizing that Alexandra knew it would be torture for him to be left alone with Sirius and Remus. Voldemort definitely knows about her. He has some thoughts about her in chapter 19 that we get to hear. But Voldemort is not very forward thinking, right? The Voldemort from the books is clearly a psychopath, only interested in himself. I do not stray from his character. This will not be a Voldemort reform story. :)

We certainly know that Devlin has felt and shown love in the past: the memory Harry shares with Geoffrey proves that. You'll just have to find out if he can ever let himself feel it again.

I think Devlin's world is being tilted on it's axis here. Love is supposed to make you weak, but here Harry Potter is, far from weak and full of love. In someways I think he had forgotten that Harry was this way - that anyone was this way to him.

Remus has definitely hit upon a sensitive subject. I won't say more on the topic since it will be the core of the next few chapters.

I love your description of Voldemort haunting Devlin. Oh how I wish to say more here, but I will hold my tongue.

Emma was used against Devlin and Devlin made a decision to protect her instead of himself.

I think that is one of the factors playing out here. He wants them to hate him so much that they send him back, so that they don't hate him for the truth.

Thank you for the lovely review!

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Review #47, by Lululuna The Other Werewolf

16th January 2014:
Review swap! :D

I really appreciate how Devlin is so disgusted by bodily functions, and sees them as a form of showing weakness and losing poise and control. It's a little frightening for a child to think that way, but fits so well with Voldy and how he is always in control of his mind and his body. I wonder if Voldy himself ever sleeps, eats, or uses the toilet?! :P

The line about feeling like Alexandra was memorizing him was simply beautiful. It's also quite chilling how Devlin has supersonic hearing, or possibly he's just very observant. There was something very terrible and frightening when the phrases about "he hears everything" switched into present tense, to draw emphasis and create a sense of lasting power.

I feel like Harry and Alexandra aren't making enough effort to understand what Devlin needs right now and what he's ready for. To just throw him into the family breakfast like that and pester him about eating in front of everyone isn't what he's ready to do, and the humiliating moment where he throws up is proof of that. I really don't think Devlin is going to be won over by tender care just yet: he seems a little too mature and removed for that. Neither will disciplining him like a regular child be successful. I think Alexandra sort of understands that, but she's not quite ready yet.

I liked Devlin's "He was only nine!" moment. It reminded me a little that he is just a kid and that he does have a bit of that childish indignation in explaining why he doesn't yet know everything. :) His wandless magic is pretty cool and creative, though.

I miss Geoffrey! I'm glad he's still being kept safe. Devlin's mixed feelings towards him are so interesting: how he blames him for being a traitor and is inevitably angry with him, but he still trusts Geoffrey's instincts about Remus initially and clearly still knows that Geoffrey wants what is best for him. It's interesting how even Death Eaters see cruel and ruthless wolves as a bad thing, as an enemy.

This was another brilliant and chilling chapter, I enjoyed it! :D I've really enjoyed doing all these swaps with you and getting the chance to read more and more of your amazing story! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!

They say as a child we can only really control two things: what goes in and what goes out and when you abuse a child, one or both of these things usually becomes something they feel they need to control. Devlin's fear of being sick is connected with vomiting on Malfoy's shoes when he was first kidnapped. Actually you'll note he has a phobia of physically doing anything like he had that night: being on his knees on the floor, looking at the floor on his hands and knees, throwing up, being physically over powered, screaming, etc. etc.

J.K. Rowling really portrayed Voldemort not only as asexual but also as having being flat and without any other characteristics but the 2D villain - at least in his apparent actions. We don't ever really read about him eat, sleeping, or as you say using the bathroom.

He has very very good hearing (werewolf).

Present tense is a mistake. Originally it was all written in present tense - sometimes I forget things and revert. I will fix it on the editing. :)

I don't think they're sure what to do. It probably would have been best if Emma weren't around, if he weren't just thrown into the house - but who would they trust Emma with, who would they trust him with? I think they're trying hard without much preparation. But I agree they're messing up.

His wantless magic based off of Tom Riddle's who seemed to have a really good grasp of and control over his own magic.

We will see Geoffrey again. He's a pretty cool character. :)

Thank you! Really enjoying your stories too!

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Review #48, by kenpo The Informant

16th January 2014:
Hey! Here for our swap! (We do have a swap, right? I'm pretty sure. I was suddenly hit with so much chaos that I'm not sure. If we don't, oh well!)

Okay, I've been meaning to get around to reading this for ages now, so I'm really excited! I'm gonna do a rolling review because they're fun and I like writing them.

Blond man? A Malfoy? (Oh, little note: Blonde is feminine, blond is masculine)

Yes, I was right! Draco. Hmmm... interesting. Poor Devlin! He's six?! He's so brave:(

The fact that Devlin put "worth" and "less" together to figure out what "worthless" means is really cool for his characterization.

Oh no. I don't think Voldy will like being called Tom Riddle.
Nope. No he won't. Oh no, poor Devlin! Voldemort is so creepy here, you've written him extremely well.

Devlin is a werewolf?! I'm not even halfway through chapter one and PLOTTWIST. Nice. Didn't see that coming.

He already has so much control over his magic, and such an understanding of it. Is he super powerful or something?

VOLDEMORT IS SUCH A CREEP. Who wants to make a little six year old boy bleed and scream and awfulness? Ugh. He's disgusting. You write him well, though.

Ugh. Gross. In a good way, though. Good writing. Horrible character.

Harry. Is he just as angsty as he was when he was a teen?

I like the reference to Hermione.

Oh no! Poor Harry! Oh no!


Okay. I couldn't stop reading so I'm at the end now.


That memory was so sad. So happy, but it had such a huge amount of pain behind it.

I feel so bad for Harry.

I think you're missing an apostrophe in the last line. "but not your son(')s."

This is so good. I wish I could write like this. I feel like this is a really terrible review, but oh well... hopefully you still enjoy reading it.

I have absolutely nothing of substance to say, or really anything useful other than how incredibly captivating this is!

Oh! I thought of something else! The Death Eater character is really interesting and I want to know more about him.

Okay I think that's all I have to say. I'm so glad that I finally started this. It is superb.

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Review #49, by ReeBee The Informant

15th January 2014:
Hi! Here for our review swap!

Characterisation: Awesome! Really in canon!I I loved harry! The emotion he felt at losing his boy made me tear up! But, Devlin's thoughts seemed a bit mature for a six year old. Other than that, characterisation was perfect! :D

Description: I loved it at the beginning! God! So perfect! All the details! Wow! Great job! I also think that the end scene could use a bit more setting description :)

Plot/Flow: The flow was well handled and the plot was super interesting! No CC on that! :D

Syntax/Grammar: No major errors!

So, I don't have anything to say except that! I think it was really good and the idea was awesome! :D Great job! Thanks for an awesome review swap! :)

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Review #50, by Lululuna The Man at the Table

15th January 2014:
Review swap! :)

I think you write so well from a child's perspective! It's so intriguing but also very sad to see how uncomfortable and confused Devlin feels in his old house, and how he feels the need to creep around and stay silent even when just getting a drink of water. I also think you've really captured how much his time with "Grandfather" has influenced how he thinks about other people: the poor kid is so paranoid about being poisoned! That and the little asides and reminders of things Voldy has taught and ingrained on his mind really made a powerful impression.

I found it interesting how Devlin was a little afraid of Alexandra because she reminded him of Voldemort. I'd sort of forgotten that she might have things in common with him too, and it was very intriguing to see Devlin cautious around her. It also showed how he was afraid of Voldemort as well as idolizing and loving him in his odd sort of way. Another detail I found quite interesting was how Devlin thought of himself as a dark wizard and his parents as good: it's a really unique perspective for a child to have of himself but still gave me some hope that he might see being "good" as a positive thing and want to stop being dark.

Emma seems adorable! A part of this chapter I really liked was seeing the contrasts with how Devlin used to be and his place in the family. His room is one reminder, and so are Emma's memories or constructed memories of the idea of him. I love the idea of him being her imaginary friend at one point, it seems like a way that a child might hold onto the memory and try to place their grief in their realm of understanding. Then Harry's reflections on how Devlin used to be able to twist people around his little finger and how positive that quality was, and how it's been turned and twisted into something darker and evil, was so heartbreaking as well.

This was a really detailed and beautifully written chapter, as always! I always enjoy your powerful writing. :) Thanks for swapping with me!

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