Reading Reviews for Vengeance
44 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Analesh7 Chapter 2

19th July 2012:

I just love who you are characterizing her so far. She's living two worlds really, 1) a risky place where wanna be deather eaters sneak up on you in alleys and 2) a world with her adorable sister

This chapters detail's were amazing! you are really great at describing scenes where such action is taking place. Most authors take lack that skill but you got it!

When Dorcas was questioning Wilkes, I was like, damn she has a smartmouth and is all sass. I like her.

Author's Response: Yes, she is hahaha!

The two worlds she has are so important to her, and she's trying desperately to keep them separate like that. If the worlds mix, there is no telling what might happen.

Thank you so much, I love details so I try to pay attention to them if I think they are important to the scene.

Oh, she's sassy. It doesn't always do her any favors though.



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Review #27, by Analesh7 Chapter 1

19th July 2012:

Nice way to start a story, I am scared and nervous for Dorcas and Amber! I found my self feeling the same the protective feelings Dorcas have because I myself, have a four year old sister! what a coincidence huh?

I found Dorca's very appealing because she's very head strong, brave (taunting Bellatrix like that), loyal and i can see a bit of stubbornness peaking. So that's probably going to lead her to a lot of trouble especially from that first encounter with Bellatrix.

I can see a lot of drama and plot turners ahead so keep the dark scenes rolling :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Honestly, I sometimes don't know what I was thinking letting this story out of my head! I also have a sister with a very similar age gap (I'm 19, she just turned 5) which helped a lot with writing the scenes between the sisters, but man did it mess with my own emotions!!!

I know I wrote her, so I should, but I love Dorcas. In my head she is strong and fierce, and I hope that translates well into the fic.

Oh yes, drama like you can't imagine.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #28, by Pixileanin Chapter 1

18th July 2012:
Hi! I had to take a look at your Dorcas. You certainly got my curiosity up! It's a good thing my story is finished, because I find it difficult to read other people's versions of a character that I chose when I'm writing one. Does that make sense? Anyway.

I like your Dorcas. She's strong and she has her priorities straight. She's a real go-getter, but she seems to have sacrificed a bit to get where she thinks she wants to be. I could tell she really had a great relationship with her baby sister. I like them together. I think you did a fantastic job writing the little girl and how she adores her older "grown up" sister so much.

I can tell that there's something bad between Dorcas and Bellatrix already. Maybe I read through it too fast, but it wasn't clear why Bellatrix has decided that Dorcas is worth her trouble. Maybe you are saving this for a later chapter, which is a great tactic for keeping people hooked, by the way. I definitely want to know more about why Bellatrix wants to ruin Dorcas.

And she's reckless too! Haha! This is fun! The only critique I might give is to possibly slow down a bit in your scenes. Sometimes I felt like I was being rushed through some of the setup scenes to get to the parts you really wanted to show us. You might give the POV character a small chance to reflect on or react to the people around them. You know, the action/reaction type of flow. Not a bunch, but just a touch.

A nice read!

Author's Response: I sometimes don't like to read characters when I am still fleshing them out in my head, but I'm completely confident about who my Dorcas is, so it wasn't too bad.

I'm glad you like my Dorcas. She's definitely all that you described. Her and Amber's relationship is one of my favorite parts of the whole story.

There is something bad between Dorcas and Bellatrix. I think that why they don't get along gets a bit clearer later in the story, but there isn't really given an exact reason. It's more of a mutual distaste between an Auror and a Death Eater. They've obviously had more than one interaction, and generally they are just two people who don't like each other.

Oh, she's reckless all right. I'm glad you think it is fun.

I would have to agree with you that some of my scenes do move fast, and it probably is because I was getting to the parts I wanted to show. That makes sense. Also, a lot of this chapter is set up, so the scenes don't have to be too long. I do think that later in the story, you spend a lot more time in Dorcas' head.



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Review #29, by luciusobsessed Chapter 5

17th July 2012:
.I. Can't. Believe. She's. DEAD. I was trembling the whole chapter, knowing something back was going to happen. It was inevitable. And when she died, I screamed, and nearly choked on the grape that was in my mouth.and then I cried. I can't believe she's dead. I can't believe she's gone. I'm so sad, angry, mad, a million other feelings...I feel Dorcas's anger. I feel her pain. I want all the Death Eaters to pay for what they've done, especially BELLATRIX. I'm dying. Okay I'll stop now before I get carried away. Please update soon xx

Author's Response: Honestly, if I didn't write the story, I wouldn't believe it either. I hated writing this chapter, it made me so sad. I cried as well.

As sadistic as this potentially sounds, I'm glad you feel Dorcas' emotions. That's what I was hoping for :)

New chapter was put in the queue Monday!


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Review #30, by luciusobsessed Chapter 4

16th July 2012:

I swear, Dorcas really has nerve taunting Death Eaters, especially dangerous ones like Bella and Dolohov. I really think she gets too lost in the moment and forgets that she's risking Amber's life by being rash and impetuous.

When Amber's owl flew into Dorcas's cubicle, I held my breath thinking it was a sick trick of Bella's. I'm so glad it was really only Dorcas's mother.

I knew something bad was going to happen in this chapter. I knew that taking Amber out to lunch would be a bad idea and that something would go wrong.

May I add, grilled cheese is my favorite, and reading about it in your chapter made me hungry! :p

I would write more, but I'm dying to go read the next chapter xx

Author's Response: I think that if Dorcas has anything, it's nerve. You're absolutely spot on about what you think; in my opinion, her biggest character flaw is her inability to take any opponent seriously, which leads to what happened with Bellatrix and Dolohov.

I've got you scared about letters now, don't I? :)

This chapter, I have to agree, just had a feel. I mean, the whole story is based around basically a psychopath tracking her prey, but she hadn't gotten that close yet. You knew it was bound to happen soon.

Hahahaha I had just finished making a grilled cheese for my 5 year old sister when I sat down to write this chapter, so it was fresh in my mind. Thank you for reviewing!!


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Review #31, by luciusobsessed Chapter 3

15th July 2012:
Another amazing chapter. I think Dorcas's mother is very interesting, especially since she married a squib to keep far from the magical world. I've never heard of such thing and it just shows how creative and imaginative you are! Excellent!

As for Amber, I was so excited that she displayed her first signs of magic. I was actually a bit anxious as to whether or not it would be a Lily/Petunia situation, where one would be a witch and the other wouldn't, but thank god I was proven wrong.

I can't even explain this...when Dorcas received the letter, I just knew it was Bellatrix. By the end of the letter, I was screaming! I'm so so scared as to what will happen to Amber. I really really will cry if anything bad happens to her. Off to read on! xx

Author's Response: Mrs. Meadowes is a really unique character. Though she is technically a witch, she doesn't really want to be. A squib was the only person who would understand her position, of technically being part of one world, though choosing to live in another.

Amber's first magic. I knew from the beginning that she would be a witch. Even if she wasn't, however, I also knew it wouldn't impact her and Dorcas' relationship, because magic wasn't the foundation of that. It was love.

The letter. I know, it's a scary thing. Then again, Bellatrix is a scary character.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #32, by Aether Chapter 5

15th July 2012:
Wow. That was really intense. I was nearly in tears, which is saying a lot because I don't usually get that committed a story. You are a fantastic writer, and Dorcas is a really great character. It's extremely refreshing to see such a strong and well-rounded female character lead a story. I'm definitely adding this to my favorites.

I'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes next, and how her sister's death will change Dorcas. Will she be able to turn to someone else, finally? Or will she isolate herself further? How will her mother react?

Oh my gosh I love this story! :) There's so much potential for drama and character development, I'm on the edge of my seat hoping for an update.

One small comment: numbers under 100 should be written out in writing (example: seventeen, twenty-five, 101).

Really excellent story! 10/10

Author's Response: I'm not going to lie, I cried when I wrote it. This chapter was such a struggle for me; I hit the end of the last chapter, and didn't write for a week. I didn't want to face what had to happen next, and refused to for a little while. Finally, I sat down one night and wrote it all.

Thank you so much for your compliments. I'm delighted you added this to your favorites, an update should be in the queue in the next day or so.

Dorcas will undoubtedly be changed by Amber's death, as anyone could predict. For her, it is essentially a life ending event.

Ah, I'll have to go back and look for where I made that mistake! I do plan on editing some of the earlier chapters soon, to fix things such as formatting, so thank you!

I'm so glad you enjoyed, and thank you so much for all the excellent reviews!


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Review #33, by Aether Chapter 4

15th July 2012:
Ah, Dorcas has met her match. The rivalry between Dorcas and Bellatrix promises to be very exciting. I'm sorry for my comment earlier about Dorcas not having a very exciting opponent. I can see now that she doesn't take anyone seriously, even when she's losing. I sometimes get a little trigger happy when it comes to enemies that aren't powerful enough. Someone once told me that the strength of the villain/opposition is what makes a story, and that's sort of guided me ever since.

What sort of protection is Dorcas giving her sister? Is she really cocky enough to believe that Bellatrix won't come after Amber? And if there isn't protection, why hasn't Bellatrix gone after Amber?

I was under the impression that Ted Tonks was a Muggleborn, not a Muggle. This is just a quick correction. I keep seeing references of him being a Muggle in fanfiction, but I've checked Lexicon and he's a Muggleborn.

Reading on! Great chapter. I can't leave a long review now because I really need to see what happens next... 10/10

Author's Response: Bellatrix has always been Dorcas' match, she just didn't want to admit it to herself. Soon, however, she'll have no choice. And yes, I'm so glad you got that point, because she doesn't take anyone seriously, and it turns out to be a major character flaw. 99% of the time I agree with you though, the villain needs to be a worthy adversary.

Dorcas is very cocky. Though she does have some protection around Amber (like I mentioned, no apparating into the house), she also relies on her mother's distaste for, and subsequently, isolation from, the wizarding world. Mrs. Meadowes herself put a lot of effort into distancing herself from the wizarding world, to the point that herself and her family are hidden away quite well. Even still, there isn't a lot of protection around Amber. Dorcas is operating under the hope that distancing herself is the best way to protect Amber. Though Bellatrix knows of her existence, she doesn't know where she is. If she finds her, however, there is no saying what would happen.

You are absolutely right, Ted Tonks was a muggleborn. Honestly, I'm not sure if I intentionally put it in like that at the time (taunting Bellatrix, Dorcas said it that way deliberately to make the situation look worse and thereby infuriate her) or if it was just a typo. Either way I am going to fix it when I edit this chapter (which I have yet to do) because I don't like inaccuracies.

Thanks for the review :)


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Review #34, by Aether Chapter 3

15th July 2012:
Wonderful chapter. I love Dorcas's relationship with Amber. :) I'm very scared for Amber, though. Dorcas really messed up when she taunted Bellatrix like that. :/ I hope little Amber is okay. I also wonder how angry Dorcas's mother will be when she finds out about Bellatrix's newest target. Reading on... :) 10/10


Author's Response: I also love Dorcas and Amber! And yes, this entire story could potentially not even be possible if she hadn't taunted Bellatrix, but she is the type who she would have had to, and didn't realize the consequences until later.

Mrs. Meadowes is so unpredictable, but I can't imagine she will be pleased.

Glad you enjoyed!


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Review #35, by Aether Chapter 2

15th July 2012:
Great second chapter! I'm really enjoying this story. :)

Formatting issues are difficult to fix, but definitely worth it. The huge spaces between the paragraphs are a distracting, and they definitely mess with the flow. This is sad because you're story is really good, and being distracted by all the spaces makes it harder to read.

I really like how great Dorcas is at dueling, but I feel like everything's more exciting and suspenseful when the main character is being challenged or the enemy is also powerful. Even just prolonging the battle a bit, or a giving a sense of danger to Dorcas's well-being might make the battle scene more exciting. Also, it would be more realistic because battles are very unpredictable. You could be really skilled and coordinated. However, if you make one wrong move, and you're opponent catches you off guard, you're in big trouble. I just had the sense that Dorcas wasn't taking her opponent seriously, so why should the reader take this threat seriously? Just a thought. I don't want to impose my opinion about plot too much.

I love the relationship between Mad Eye and Dorcas. I also feel like they share a lot in common. I never got the sense that Mad Eye had a whole lot of friends either. Did he introduce Dorcas to the Order?

Nice job! Reading on...


Author's Response: I honestly couldn't agree with you more about the formatting issues, but I'm not very good with that aspect of the site. It's something I definitely plan on spending the time to fix in the near NEAR future though.

I see from your most recent review that you got the point I was trying to make with Dorcas and her opponents. A major character flaw of hers is that she does underestimate every opponent. She doesn't take anyone seriously, because she doesn't honestly believe they will beat her.

I love Mad Eye, and in my head, he definitely did introduce her to the Order, but I'm not sure if I ever outright say it.

I'm glad you enjoyed!


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Review #36, by SiriuslyPeeved Chapter 1

15th July 2012:
This is a really original idea and is shaping up to be a very exciting story; Dorcas's open background allows her to be developed in lots of different ways. I particularly like how you've characterized Mad-Eye, he seems like a good mentor and teacher but still a gruff and outspoken personality.

I have a few suggestions for you in smoothing out the flow in the first part of the chapter, which feels choppy to me and doesn't quite match the style of the remainder. It seems to me that you are going for a contrast in tone, which is great, keep going that way :) Overall I think I would consider changing double exclamation points to single. Also it would be more readable to use "anyway" than "anyways."

If you could slow down just a little bit and take in more of the atmosphere and Dorcas's and baby Amber's descriptions, that would help me as a reader to move between the sections that are separated in time. You may wish to take a little more time to show that even when Amber was a toddler she had a strong preference for her sister and that their mother wasn't all that thrilled by it.

I would also consider going over the section where Dorcas is bickering with Clark, some of the sentences there are a little awkward. I did enjoy the dialogue in the section and feel like you have a fun little colleague / classmate situation with these two even if Dorcas isn't that interested in being friends with anyone. (oh dear, I am afraid bad things are coming since Dorcas is really only attached to her sister :( )

This was fun to read and I think you can really go far with this idea! The idea of Bellatrix stalking an Order member's loved ones purely for the challenge of it is chilling and in character for her. Let me know if you have any questions about my suggestions.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review my story. I appreciate it so much!

Thank you for the suggestions, and I think I understand what you are talking about. This story is a first for me; usually I stick to writing one shots, one long, uninterrupted scene at a time, so this can be really challenging.

You're correct in saying that I am going for a contrast in tone, but I'll be sure to look over the things you pointed out when editing this chapter :)

I have seriously been considering adding another more about their relationship, as you stated, but it has always concerned me. I've been worried that if I spend too much time with those scenes in the first chapter, I would lose the attention of the reader. However, I can't help but agree with you and that's something else I will look at when I edit.

Ugh, dialogue. It's honestly the most challenging part of writing for me. I'll be sure to look that over.

Thank you so much for your review and all of your wonderful feedback! I'm really looking to improve, and you've helped me more than you know!


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Review #37, by Aether Chapter 1

15th July 2012:
Wow. This is an excellent start to your story. I love your main character. You've done a great job of characterizing Dorcas. She's talented, strong, loving, powerful, and hot-headed. I love it!

I'm also very excited to see what happens next. Starting out with a major mistake on your main character's part promises plenty of development and plot for later!

I think you did a great job of introducing your main character, pulling the reader into the story, and showing where the plot's going in this first chapter.

I also really like how you characterize Mad Eye. He's very much how I imagine him from the books, and I can actually see him there, scolding Dorcas. The way he phrased what she'd done to her younger sister was spot on.

I'm curious about why Dorcas isolates herself, especially when it seems like there are people around her who want to befriend her. Usually when I meet people like Dorcas, they feel isolated because they think that the people around them don't want to actually be with them. They have a low self-esteem, trust problems, or something of that sort. But Dorcas doesn't seem to have self-esteem issues in this chapter. Maybe trust issues? But if it's the trust one, what happened to make her stop trusting people? Hmmm.

Reading on... :) 10/10


Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Honestly, when I started this story, as cliched as it sounds, I was never in control of Dorcas. She is everything that you said, and more. I loved the concept of her, as a canon character mentioned only briefly in passing, and that was merely to say that Voldemort killed her personally. I always thought this indicated that there had to be something extraordinary about her.

As Mad Eye was the one to mention Dorcas in canon, I thought it was crucial that he also be a major factor in her life and her story. I'm really glad you enjoy his characterization though.

Dorcas is a unique person when it comes to her isolation. As is shown in later chapters, though she has always grown up in a loving environment, she has difficulty relating to most people. I think that her trust issues are more indirect and difficult to comprehend. As someone who always had difficulty connecting, this was exasperated by the significance that Amber took into her life. The need to keep Amber safe from the dark world evolving outside was paramount to anything else. She was most important.

I'm glad you enjoyed my story. I'm looking forward to more of your feedback :)


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Review #38, by luciusobsessed Chapter 2

14th July 2012:
This chapter was so intense for me to read. The whole time I was frightened that the wannabe Death Eater would lash out at her when she was distracted. I'm so glad nothing went wrong in that department.

If Dorcas really does take Amber out, I have a feeling that the Death Eaters will be watching, and will therefore discover her weakness. I'm so scared.

Off to the next chap! xx

Author's Response: That chapter was so intense for me to write as well!
That whole scene with the wannabe Death Eater actually wasn't planned at all when I started writing this story. It was something that evolved on its own, and even I wasn't sure how it was going to end for a while.
Your feeling may or may not be correct, but don't worry. You'll find out in the next chapter :)
Thanks for reviewing!

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Review #39, by luciusobsessed Chapter 1

14th July 2012:
I don't even know where to begin. I absolutely love this story! I'm not much of a fan of OC's, but this one has really really caught my attention.

I love the portrayal of the relationship between Dorcas and Amber. I think it is super adorbs, and you do an amazing job of showing their characteristics; Dorcas as the vigilant, loving older sister, and Amber as the innocent, naive child.

I was silently cursing at Dorcas when she was challenging Bellatrix. I think she really let her pride get to her and didn't even realize she was putting her own sister in danger. Now by the means of your summary, I'm assuming that Bellatrix does indeed get Amber. I just hope she doesn't kill the poor darling.

Anywhoo, I'm excited to read the next chapter. Off I go! :) xx

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much.
I loved the idea of Dorcas, because while she is technically canon, the only thing said about her is that Voldemort killed her personally. It left such an open canvas to fill in the blanks of the story of a witch who must have been immensely powerful.
I myself have a little sister, and frequently base the character of Amber on her. With such an age gap between siblings, it often becomes almost a mother and child role over a sibling connection.
Dorcas is very hotheaded. She logically knows she isn't invincible, but she also doesn't really believe that she could die right now either. She also loves taunting people. Later in the story, Dorcas comes to this realization on her own. She's a brilliant witch, but she has difficulty viewing Bellatrix as the threat that she is.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)

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Review #40, by lilypotterfan123 Chapter 4

4th July 2012:
This chapter was so brilliant! Another fight between Bellatrix and Dorcas which I still laughed at despite the snide remarks they made at each other. The point about Tonks being a metapmorphagus was a good point and Im glad that you didnt let Bella have a comeback to that because otherwise it would have shown more flaws in what she said than what is right about it.

I liked more canon characters coming into this such as the Prewett brothers (I think you may have spelled in wrong, not 100% sure on that though.) and Lily Evans, their small roles were really meaningful to me because it brought in some of the people that died from the result fo the first war.

Lastly that final scene, it was so sweet because again you conveyed how much Dorcas loves her sister very clearly, they were in a cafe which makes it more unexpected too. Then a jet of orange light, it was so out of the blue and brought a whole lot of suspense back into the chapter and the tone changed dramatically. Whici is a good thing by the way!

This story is brilliant, when I have time I will be nominating it for story seekers!


Bex :)

Author's Response: Thank you!
Of course Bellatrix didn't have a response for that, because really, what could she have said?
You're right about Prewett! Whenever I write I go back and forth between the spellings (I have the hardest time remembering which is right) so I'm going to fix that as soon as the queue reopens. Thanks for pointing it out.
And yes, I really did want to add some more canon characters, because even though Dorcas doesn't interact with them much, they were there in the war with her, and had to at least be in the outskirts of her life.
That orange jet of light. I've had this whole story in my head for ages, but I just couldn't get it out. And now we are in a part that refuses to be written. I have almost the entire ending written, only because I can't write the scenes that were in this chapter and the one that comes next!
Thank you so much!

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Review #41, by Mihali1432 Chapter 1

27th June 2012:
Woah. Ok, so I got this story from someone recommending it and I have to say that this is really interesting already! I'm really interested in how this is going to go and... I really love your characterization. Amber is so... So cute xD Gah. Dorcas is really cool too! I've never read a story about her so (And she's canon yes? xD I'm not too sure)... Anyways, this was great and I loved it!

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much!
I'm really really flattered to know that someone recommended my story! That's awesome!
I'm glad you think it is interesting. Isn't Amber cute? I love her. But she ages really quickly over the course of the story until she is about 7.
I love Dorcas. She's very...different. And yes, she is canon, though there is almost nothing said about her. Mad Eye mentions her in passing once, saying that Voldemort killed her personally. Amber was never mentioned in canon, but so little was said about Dorcas I found it totally plausible that she was real.
Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #42, by lilypotterfan123 Chapter 3

21st June 2012:
First off thank you for mentioning me in your authors note! Im so glad I inspired you to wirte this chapter in one night, something I dont think Ive done yet, it takes me a month to write a chapter for my longest fanfic: Heritage. I loved this so much, reading about her mother especially. The reasoning behind why she didnt use magic was well thought out and in depth, I felt sorry for her because she couldnt have the same connection with her daughters that other mothers could. Makes it more uderstandable why she envies Dorcas and why the two sisters have such a close relationship.

The letter in the end, as soon as she opened it, I knew and I read it so fast, first to see if I was right and secondly just due to the excitement I had whilst reading. I loved the humour in the letter as well, nice way to keep Bella in character even when shes writing! However at the end, you could sense such a change in atmosphere. Poor Dorcas and Amber, especially if Bella finds her and only Ambers mother can defend her...someone who is very reluctant to use magic. Gah I cant wait now!

10/10 once again most indefinitely,
Bex :)

Author's Response: I want to thank YOU for showing an interest in my story, otherwise trust me, that chapter still might not be done. Writing a whole one in one night is something that I have never done before either!
Honestly, that whole segment about Dorcas' mother was something I had planned on staying only in my head, but your comments made me realize that that might not be the best idea. Readers obviously don't know what's going on in my head, so I felt the need to clear it all up.
Ahh, the letter. It's just so mocking, so cruel. I'm glad it came across immediately who it was from; I wanted only Dorcas to be the one who didn't realize instantaneously (as smart as she is, she has a blatant blind spot when it comes to Bellatrix's magical abilities).
Yes, this situation is definitely getting worse, and quickly too.
I'm working on the next chapter, but it's beiing really difficult. I write this story piece by piece, out of order, and none of the pieces that come next are coming easily. But I am still trying!
Thank you so much!

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Review #43, by lilypotterfan123 Chapter 2

17th June 2012:
Back again! I couldnt keep away to be honest!
Again I love the saracasm that Dorcas uses, its always there in her voice and adds brilliant humour, something Ive yet to master - unlike yourself. Mad eye again, he made me laugh this is one of those stories where you have to laugh ad it is just hard not to. Right now Im trying to get as much detail down on Mad eye as Im writing about him in one of my stories, as a 7th year at hogwarts but the way people portray him now, it would be nice to know and think why they do that.

Though Amber wasnt actually in this chapter Dorcas thought about her which is always a great sign because youre keeping the focus of the plot there as a constant reminder. I do feel a bit sorry for their mother though, like shes in competition for he own daughters love it is sad but I think it reinforces the great relationship they have as sisters.

Once again this is a definite 10/10 from me and I cant wait to read more!

Bex :)

Author's Response: Aw! Selfishly, I'm glad you couldn't keep away!
I adore sarcasm, to the point where sometimes it is my only form of communication, but I really feel that it is something that is hard to capture in words, so thank you for the compliment. Trying to come up with humor that I feel confident will translate well has always been a struggle of mine.
Amber is a constant background fixture in Dorcas' mind, like you said. The plot is undoubtedly their relationship and the way it shapes Dorcas as a human being, so I am glad you can see it there.
The relationship between all 3 of the Meadowes women is a complex one that sometimes I don't think I can capture adequately in the short length this story has. Though all 3 love each other, it is a complicated love because of the difficulty Dorcas and her mother have relating to each other.
Thank you so much for the 10/10 again! I can't express how much it means to me, and gives me renewed vigor in a story I was wondering if anyone would like.
I'm currently (as of right this minute actually!) working away on chapter 3, and it should be posted in the next few days hopefully, but I am very busy with my own little sister, so who knows! You can check on my stories page for occasional updates about how far I am in each of the chapters! I haven't updated it recently, but am going to right now!

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Review #44, by lilypotterfan123 Chapter 1

17th June 2012:
This is such a brilliant start! First off I love the characterisation of Dorcas Meadows. She seems like a natural and realistic sort of person, in depth but not over complicated . She has flaws like the fact that she doesnt like anyone getting too close to her. However the love for her sister is amazingly sweet. The plot itself seems like an interesting one. Bellatrix Lestrange will now be on a mission to find the one thing Dorcas loves the most and destroy it so she should watch out for Amber or at least love her while she can. If you continue to maintain Bellatrix in character she will find her, and be ruthless on this mission because we all know Bella loves a challenge. I just really cannot wait to see where this story goes as the plot is so original, especially as usually people would suggest that a partner would be the most precious thing to a person. Yet this is definitely different in that aspect beause Dorcas treats Amber like shes the only thing she has, and in a sense Amber is the only thing Dorcas has.

The way this chapter had a lot of emotions in there was brilliant as well! I mean for a start it was so sweet because we immediately got that bond that she and her sister had. Then the scene between Dorcas and Moody, I couldnt stop laughing it was just; I loved it. Then how quickly it changed as soon as Amber was mentioned again conveyed such a strong sense of protection.

Again Im so looking forward to the next chapter!

Bex :)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for both of your lovely reviews!
I totally agree that the relationship between Dorcas and Amber is very different. Like you said, many people consider their partner to be the most important thing in their life, and without diminishing the undoubted love in those relationships, in my opinion there is nothing like loving a person who is as innocent as a child is.
I definitely agree with you that Amber is the only thing Dorcas has, though that seems to be by her own choice. If we are being entirely honest, sometimes I don't even feel like I am in control of Dorcas anymore. She is a character who stole the best parts of me and improved upon them and created her own flaws very different from my own. Amber is so important to Dorcas, but she has such a single minded focus on the little girl that sometimes even I wonder what she would do without her.
I love Mad Eye Moody. His gruff manner and say it like it is attitude makes me happy and he is such a joy to write.
Thank you so, so much again for your kind words! I really appreciate you taking the time to review!

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