I love your dialogue, the way it flows so easily between each of the characters is a pleasure to read. The content itself is very amusing and witty, and I found myself chuckling many times throughout. Report Review
I loved the way that you have woven this story, the way you write is emotive and tugs in all the right places. Everything seems just right, I couldnt fault a thing. Wonderful. Report Review
You've ushered along the relationship between Lily and James so well with your writing! Can't wait for your next update!! Report Review
Ha ha! What a wonderful group of friends! The list wa a great way for us to get a peek into James' mind from Lily's POV. Report Review
Sparks are flying! This was another great chapter... does Remus have a crush on Lily? You've done a wonderful job of letting us know what Lily is really like, how she feels, and what she thinks. Report Review
I loved the way you presented this first chapter and how you introduced everyone. Very well written. I even started to get annoyed at James for disappearing after dinner! lol... Report Review
Wow. There was something romantic about that last paragraph. Not like a lovey-dovey type of romantic - a real romantic feeling. Something whole and fulfilling. I'm glad you updated! (Took me long enough to get here, didn't it?) It was a really good chapter, and it really covered a lot of ground, even though it was shorter than the others. Well, you know what they say - size doesn't matter. *Cough* Yeeaah. Anyways. Keep at it. I'm loving the direction this is headed in. (And I just ended a sentence in a prepsitional phrase. Shame on me!) Report Review
Brilliant!, Great characterisation. I am running out of ways to say that I love the way you write, but I do love it very much. If you have an update email list thing going on, add me to it for all of your stories. Report Review
Yea!! I'm so happy you updated, I thought the chapter was a sweet one, I'm happy now that James and Lily are possibly starting to be friends. I really enjoyed the ending of the chapter, it was well written and it rapped-up the chapter nicely. I am really enjoying this story and I hope you update soon, thank you for the great story!! <3 Report Review
Yeah, I can do that for you. I'm pretty sure there were only, like, 2, and it was small things like missing a comma and things. I'll find them again and PM them to you on the HPFF forum. =D Report Review
Awww... Lily's almost part of a group! I think it's sad that she really is a very likeable person but doesn't feel she has anybody close to her, exception of Remus, of course. What a cute group... add more, soon, please, as I love this fic. =D *adding to favorites* Report Review
Awww... this chapter was adorable. The ending bit, especially. I love how playful Sirius is =D however, i noticed one little thing partway though. "Lily wanted to make sure she was somewhat ahead. Breakfast was somewhat of a dull event." You used somewhat twice in a short amount of writing. Just try to watch for that, because thats the second time you've have repitition like that. Still, lovely chapter! I loved it. <3 Report Review
Drama drama... I like it lol. So much tension, a very enjoyable read. A few little things i wanted to mention, like at the beginning of the chapter, it says "Sweat trickles down her face, and her hair was stuck to her face." If you read back over it, it sounds a little repetitive (you used "her face" twice). rephrasing part of the sentence might go a little smoother. The other thing is the scene with the Marauders coming out of potions seemed a little pointless. It didn't really have anything to do with the story and when read it seems like a filler more than anything. Other than that, lovely chapter! Off to read more. =D Report Review
Wonderful first chapter! I enjoyed reading it. There were a few punctuation/grammar mistakes, but I'm sure they were typos because they weren't huge. Anyway... I like your writing style, it's very smooth. You even had a few humorous parts, which are nice. =D Author's Response: Could you possibly point these mistakes out? The first three chapters were beta read by Cariel. So I'm pretty sure that mistakes are limited, but if you could let me know so I can fix it-that'd be great. Thanks for reviewing. Report Review
aaawww...I loved how u ended this chapter! u convey lily's emotions perfectly... well, I've got to move on to reviewing some more fics, but this is staying on my favorites...though im a bit wary about remus (until u confirm that he has no feelings for lily...lol) you've totally drawn me in! :) Author's Response: Sorry Jolie. I can't confirm anything. xP Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you're adding it to your favorites list. Report Review
and another great one...how can I offer critiques when there's honestly nothing to say, it's so good! lol! this was a really cute chapter-w/ the marauders having a mini scuffle, and taking lily down w/ them..lol ok, no sign of remus wanting lily..well, cept w/ her landing on him..but im not sure if that was just incidental..argh, I read way too much into these things..lol Report Review
another great chapter. You've got me a bit worried though, w/ something u said of remus, when he met lily at 3 am...ah, this one- "Remus stared at that fleeting figure that silently made its way up the stairs. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes as if he were trying to restrain the conversation from fleeing him like Lily’s dreams has."...that has me VERY worried! unrequitted remus romances really erk me.. lol sorry...I can see how people do it, and it's understandable, but reading them makes me upset...*sigh* I feel WAY too strongly about remus..lol Report Review
excellent first chapter; perfect balance of dialogue and descriptions, something too many fan fics lack.. :/ lol I love what you did w/ remus..course I'm a bit biased b/c I love him to death ;) but all the same...I like how u made him very close to lily, but at the same time she goes off on him for not keeping james in check..lol great job, keep it up! Report Review
That was a good chapter! One part though, 'She smiled amiable at them and opened when James said the password.' Are you sure its not amimably or something like that? I don't think amimably is a word, but amimable sounds awkward there. Report Review
Wow, great writing, as usual. Brilliant descriptions and just such a smooth flow through. Well done! Hopefully you won't discontinue this story though...and...ah, I have three chapters to go anyway. I love your characterisations, that Lily doesn't REALLY hate James and all...anyway, good job. Report Review
It's funny! And not a tragic ending, in my opinion... Report Review
Can't wait to read more! Report Review
Good job! Report Review
Whoa. Okay I just read the entire thing right now (taking short breaks for homeowork) and just the 4 chapters were really good! I hope thatyou continue with the story and take it all the way to its end because I am really interested to see what happens. Please update ASAP!!!!!! Report Review
Just read the first 4 Chapters and I really like your story and I like all of your characters. Things are developing nice and slow and your emotions and feelings really come through. good job and update soon Report Review
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