ooh, update!!! I have to see how this goes! The only thing i've found wrong with this story are a few grammatical errors, although i've only found those because I hate bad grammer... but keep writing! You have a gift.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I think I'm going to have my sister read through and correct some stuff, thanks for pointing it out!



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I think this was a good first chapter. This is an original idea and it has potential to be a great story! Now onto the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so happy you liked it!

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This is an amazing idea for a story :D I just love the plot for it! I can this is going to be an exciting story ;D Please don't make her leave James for David!!!
Ha classical Ron! I love Ron so much! He always has such a way with the foot in mouth syndrome ;D
I did notice a couple of mistakes in spelling but I'm sure if you re-read over the chapter you will find them to correct them :D Also I know you can spell Lilly like that but JKR spelt it with just one L "Lily". I hope that will help you :D
If you want me to make you a banner just message me over at TDA, I go by the same username :D
Anyway this is an awesome start to the story and you have great flow and characterisation :D Update soon! :)

~BlameItOnTheNargles

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'll make sure to message you over at TDA, and I'm going to go back and correct the spelling, and thanks for pointing out that JKR spellings Lilly with one L, I guess I just never noticed it before! Thanks again for the review! I'm so happy you liked it!!! :D

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David knows her!!! This is exciting! I wonder how he's going to act now. And she.
I think when you wrote "allusive" you meant "elusive." That confused me for a bit. There were a few other errors, but that was the main one I noticed.
I'm interested to learn more about your characters. Elara definitely seems fascinating and I really want to know more about James.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm going to go back and correct all the spelling and stuff! I'm so happy you liked it!

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This seems like an interesting story. It is short, but I think it is a good start. I really like the idea (very original). Some spelling and grammar mistakes threw me off, however. Elara seems like a good character (with an awesome job) and I can't wait to find out what happens!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'll go back and edited it, and the first chapter was shorter because I'm not the best at introductions, and I really just wanted to get it up. Thanks again!!

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Great story. Flows well with the previous chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading it!!

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Good story with nice original plot. However, there happen to be a few mistakes/spelling/grammatical errors in this story.
For example, it is apparate, not avaporate, and you should probably capitalize titles, and departments, like Death Eaters.
Thank you for the great story, and keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll make sure to keep that in mind!
:)

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ooh my, sounds really exciting, can't wait for the next chapter! I wished it was a little bit longer and I got to read more of James' family and her job... but that's only because it was so good :) great work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!! And I'm going to make the other chapters longer, I just wanted to get the introduction over with because I'm not very good at them! Thanks again!!

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So cool absolutly love it

Author's Response: Thank you, so much!!

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