Here we go, as promised! :)
As of right now (by your summary) it sounds like I'm going to have a lot of fun getting to see how Harry and Ginny fall in love all over again. However, I don't think I like the way it happened. Though it goes with characterization, I really don't think Ginny would ever blame Harry for her brother's death, because she of most all people understood what they were fighting for. Though it was pretty short, I liked everything you put in for us to see. I thought that maybe the character switches were a little abrupt and could have used some separation, but then that also would have made the chapter look much shorter than it is. Also, the bit of Harry being under the rocks was a little confusing. Was he walking along when they fell on him? I would like to know what happened in that time space there. :)
Like I mentioned before, I don't really like Ginny's characterization, but I do think it will be fun to see them fall in love again. Just because I don't like it or think it wouldn't happen, doesn't mean that it couldn't. :) Though, Harry's behavior was a little odd to me, too. I would think that he wouldn't exactly mope around like he did, at least about Ginny. Maybe he would feel the loss of a family due to fear of them hating him for their son, but it is great to know Arthur called him son even though he just lost one of his own. Arther, by the way, was a very nice touch and I loved it. :)
Spelling and grammar:
Arthur Weasley heard, not head. :) Also, there should be a comma before or after every time you say someone's name. "Harry, come over here." "Come over here, Harry." Not, "Harry come over here." "Come over here Harry." Otherwise, everything seemed alright to me!
General liking of the story:
I will say this again because I am honestly excited to see this story continue: I can't wait to see how Ginny and Harry fall in love with one another again. I think they are my favorite pair (on other sites I'm known as ginnypotter19, if that gives any hint as to how much I love the pair lol). I would like to see it continue, and I'd like to see as you get better along the way! I will give this particular chapter a 6/10! :)Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I am going to re-write most of the chapters, and go through them carefully looking for spelling mistakes. Again, thank you so much! ~Magicalis Report Review
Can't wait to read the next chapters!Author's Response: Thanks Rhi! There are several more already uploaded after this (: Report Review
:S Not so sure about this Dursley reunion business...Author's Response: Thank you for your opinion, but as more chapters come up, you'll see that the reunion will play a big start in the story! And also thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and further chapters to come! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
I think that Ginny has known Harry for years and that it would not be a matter of needing to know him better at this point...it would more have to do with confusion about feelings and circumstances.
Also, Petunia sending an owl? I could see it, but I doubt she would ever be "accustomed" to them in place of regular post.
SO, far, I like your writing style. I hope the story keeps getting better.Author's Response: I see that looking at the chapter you are on, it could look like that. But later you'll figure out why Ginny couldn't be with Harry. And thank you for your review! ~Magicalis
Author has a intelligent grasp how the lack of love in a child a can affect their adult relationships. Ginny and Hermione's girlish banter is so realistic. Great Chapter!!!Author's Response: Thankyou! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
WOW, continues to flow easily, eager to read more chapters to see what will happen next,Author's Response: Thank you for the review! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
This is really good, please write more soon! :)Author's Response: Thank you! I am writing chapter eight... the next few chapters should be exciting!! Report Review
I love this!! Great story, i was hoping you didnt give up. Cant wait for next chapter!Author's Response: Thank you, that's what I aim for! The next few chapter should be exciting so please, keep reading and reviewing! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
I really enjoyed this chapter, as I did all the others! Keep going, I want to see what happens next! :)Author's Response: Thank you! Next chapter should be up soon! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
Ooh! I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter of the story. I hope it continues this way! Awesome job!Author's Response: Thank you! And the next ones should also involve a bit of scheming. Thanks again for reviewing! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
So Pertunia divorced Vernon, good move. But knowing Vernon he'll still blame Harry for that one to.
I loved the idea of getting something really special for Harry from his first home in Godrics Hollow. It kind of makes things complete, as if Harry had come round in a complete circle.
10/10 and plz update soon.Author's Response: Thank you, next chapter should be up within the week! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
O wow u r an amazing writer i love this story it is so carefully constructed and wonderful... Are you related to J.K. Rowling? Anyway, i cant wait for another chapter!Author's Response: Thank you so much! And no, although I wish! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
please keep writing, this is amazing!!! :)Author's Response: Thanks you very much, writing next chapter! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
WOW very good keep the chapters coming :)Author's Response: Thank you very much! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
Well that was nice. Harry has a new look family to turn too. Well Petunia and Dudley anyway. I see you never mentioned Vernon, does that mean that he still hates Harry and all he stands for? 10/10 and plz update soon.Author's Response: Thank you! You will learn what happened to Vernon in the up coming chapters... Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
Very nice, brilliantly written. You described the feelings of all concerned wonderfully. The letter from Petunia took me by surprise and I look forward to reading where you go with that.
10/10 and moving on.Author's Response: Thank you so much! The next few chapters will go in depth about her. The next chapter should be up within the week, so check often! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
Another good chapter. I reckon that there will be more between Harry and Ginny than being just friends. Though I suppose I'll just have to wait and read on. 10/10 and moving on.
By the way, after reading this chapter I think you might b e interested in a story I have on the archive called Was it Worth It. It's a one shot.Author's Response: Thanks! And I will be sure to read it... thanks again for the review! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
I'm addicted to Harry/Ginny stories, but was put off by the short chapters. You chapters are very good, however. The ideas, the way the story flows, is much better than I have seen in many of the stories.
Harry and Ginny starting over by shaking hands, great! You do a good job of showing the awkwardness as two very young people try to find each other. You do a good job with the dialogue, and ought to work hard to have more dialogue.
You leave a lot undeveloped. I know in my story I went back and re-wrote all of the early chapters, and they became much longer. If you wanted to you probably could do the same. Develop the ideas you began, making the chapters fuller.
Do you know where you are going in the story? Are you going to try and follow 'canon,' Rowling's sometimes contradictory interviews, with Hermione and Ginny going back to school but Harry and Ron helping to reform the Auror department? Or do you have another future in mind?
Very interesting, Petunia Evans. How big is the back story to that? Have you developed a back story, or just that she is now Evans. One good story device is to have Petunia tell Harry and the family why she is EVANS now, what happened. I think Vernon is a pretty despicable character, but Petunia is more nuanced, and you can certainly have fun developing what happened to the family the past year when they were in hiding. Dudley is redeemable too.
The quotes at the start of each chapter are great! The quote at the start of this chapter is right on. With 4 children and 6 grandchildren I am even more aware how my life and the life of my wife will live on in our children.
Maybe you can develop a little more how Harry is Arthur and Molly's son, and their family is his family, the family he really never had with Vernon Dursley.
Have fun writing.
JetLaBargeAuthor's Response: First of all, thank you so much for the review! This is my first fan fiction, and since I am hardly thirteen years old, I thought that no one would read it: The attention it recieved amazed me.
I am delighted that you are happy witht he length of the chapters. In my opinion, they are short, but the more time I have to write the longer they will be.
The next few chapters will hopefully develop some of the undeveloped ideas.
I have ideas of where I'm going... mostly I'm just writing as I go. I am partially sticking to cannon: You'll have to read more to see what happens!
I guarantee you that Petunia Evans story will go into depth, also in the next few stories. No Vernon Dursley will be involved.
I was just thinking about Harry's family- The Weasely's. The next few chapters will have a lot more involving that idea.
Again, thanks so much for reveiwing!
~Magicalis Writer Report Review
This is really good, please write more soon! I loved the bit when Ron was sleeping and Hermione was working!Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing-next chapter should be up in a week or so (: ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
Magicalis you have a God given talent keep writing, I love it.Author's Response: Thanks so much! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
Finally one that doesnt involve random characters and weir circumstances. mental note... Mrs weasly: mum not mother sorry to pint that out
VERY GOODAuthor's Response: Thanks very much! And since I am not British, I am having trouble grasping that "Mum" is pretty much "Mother" Thanks again! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
Wow, what a great beginning to their love story, very descriptive, flows beautifully,Author's Response: Thank you very much! (: ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
this is a really cute story i like the idea of them saying they want to be just friends but i really dont think they can keep to it i cant wait for you to updateAuthor's Response: Thanks! I really appreciate reviews. The next chapter should be up in one to two weeks depending on how long Validation takes. Thanks again for the review! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
this first chapter is interesting! I can't wait to read more of this fic! update soon please!^_^
Harry and GinnyAuthor's Response: I am outlining the second chapter, and it should be up sometime after the christmas break (: Thanks so much for the review!!! ~Magicalis Writer Report Review
interesting beginning, just keep it coming.Author's Response: Thanks, and the next one should be Valiadated before the end of next week (: Report Review
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