Reading Reviews for Life As We Know It
  
214 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Jchrissy chapter one

10th December 2012:
Hi darling! Here for the Holiday swap!

I love where you started this. If I'm not mistaken, it's a variation of the after quidditch match in book 6, right? I really like that for two reasons: 1) Ron is hurting Hermione without actually meaning to. He's not cheating on her with Lavender, he's not doing anything wrong, but it's still really hurting her. The perfect kind of weakness that she may get involved with someone knew. We know she isn't beyond dating to try and kind of ebb away that hurt, as she demonstrates with Viktor, so starting it all at this point in time just really works for me and feels like a smooth/clean idea.

I think you did a really awesome job describing the pain that Hermione was dealing with. From her not wanting anyone to see her cry, to just needing to find a place to be alone, really fit with her character.

The idea of Draco being in there watching the whole thing! Ahh. Not only did he see what happened, but he also saw how it affected Hermione from the start. Poor thing, I want to hug her :(

This is a very interesting first chapter. It's obviously short, but it gives the reader a really clear idea of your writing style as well as a good handle on where we go. So despite it's length, I still found it a very good way to start out!

Happy Holidays ♥

Jami

Author's Response: Yes it is a variation of what happened after the quidditch match in book 6. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the first chapter even though it was short! And you think that my characterization and placement was good so that makes me happy as well! I've always been one who couldn't really see ron as the cheating type though my newest story is playing with that! But I wanted to make this story where ron really didn't do anything wrong and that they are still friends. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #52, by LovlyRita chapter one

8th December 2012:
Hi there!

This was a great start, you did a really fabulous job of capturing Hermione's emotions when she first saw Lavendar and Ron together. Ugh, Lavendar is so easy to hate, is she not? Even when I read her dialogue I had this quick feeling of revulsion like ..ew, it's Lavendar, she's icky :P You did a great job with it, I just don't like her :)

And Malfoy lingering in the shadows! So ominous, what the heck is he doing in there?

I really enjoyed this short chapter, it flowed well :) And Julia was your beta, holla! :D

ash

Author's Response: Slytherins for life thats for sure! I love having Julia as my beta she does such a fantastic job and is very supportive and helpful! I'm so glad you enjoyed this Ash! I'm trying to hard to keep it canon and its always nice when someone new comes along and starts reading this and enjoys it right away! yes Lavendar is very easy to hate, so dont worry i know exactly what you mean! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #53, by AC_rules chapter nine

8th December 2012:
Helllo there dear! I'm back to review chapter nine :)

I think I need to get my act together in terms of reading this story, because it's becoming difficult to keep track of where I am with reading all these little bits and pieces. So, for one I'm interest at how Hermione's going to find our anymore about our favourite bit of dark magic without access to any of the other books, and there was a little Draco in this chapter so that was nice.

I liked Harry in this chapter too. He seemed nice and in character... as did Hermione's irritation at not getting the hang of apparation very quickly. I'd be irritated too as it's clearly the most exciting bit of magic they ever learn ahhaa.

Well, this was another lovely chapter and it was good to be back here :)

-AC

Author's Response: Helen! I just love getting your reviews! I'm currently working on chapter 12, I would say that I'm about halfway done with it at the moment so I know I wont get it out before the break but i'm hoping to have it finished and to my beta soon so that i can have it up when we can post again! The fact that you think both Harry and Hermione are in character just makes my heart so happy! I'm trying so hard to keep everyone in character while still making it a dramione.. so we'll see! Thank you so much for coming back to read and review! I do hope you come back again!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #54, by TheHeirOfSlytherin chapter four

7th December 2012:
I've missed reading this story, I like the idea of reading HBP from Hermione's perspective. It's refreshing. Poor Hermione, she's just having no luck with Ron and Cormac is as vain as I remember in the actual book. I liked that.

THEO! I love Theo Nott, he's one of my favorite characters ever and you put him in the story. I'm so excited. I don't care that he was a cameo in this chapter, he was here and I loved it! :D

Loved the chapter overall. I look forward to reading the next one. :)

Sam.

Author's Response: SAM! for you to say that you have missed reading this story really just makes my day! I'm really glad that you like it and the idea about the whole story in general! Yes I love Theo as well and its always fun when I find a fellow Theodore Nott lover! You should check out my new story The Secret Life Of Slytherins which focuses on a bunch of slytherins in Harry's year plus Astoria but Theo is one of the eight main characters! Any who! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and hope that you do come back!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #55, by Toujours Padfoot chapter three

6th December 2012:
I've reviewed the first two chapters of this story already, so with the swap I have returned for the third!

I enjoyed this chapter. It was relieving to see that Draco hadn't taken advantage of a golden opportunity to publicly embarrass Hermione, sparing her further mortification when she's already in such a bad way. Speaking of which, I like how you handled her grief. She's upset, but she's still strong and reasonable, which I'm pleased to see because that's canon Hermione all the way. I particularly appreciated this bit:

It seemed that my classmates had grown accustomed to me answering the questions because nobody else even tried answering them, not even when I waited a minute before raising my hand.

- I can't even imagine being in a class with Hermione. It would be one part annoying because she would constantly be trying to answer every question, and one part nice because one could more easily daydream or slack off or whatever without worrying about participation because Hermione basically participates enough for everyone. It was good to see that she was still Hermione, popping up her hand to answer questions simply because it was ingrained behavior, and that she approached making Ron jealous in a calculating, level-headed way. I smiled to myself when she asked Cormac purely because he would make Ron angrier than any other guy - which was one of my favorite moments in HBP, so it was fun to see that played out here.

Good job! :)

Author's Response: I must say that your reviews really make my day! Knowing that someone who is a great author such as yourself can come along to my story and enjoy it and think that i'm doing a great job with it is just an amazing feeling! I know this may have only been for the review swap but it still makes my day to see a review from you because I know that you are such a high caliber author and to have you looking over my work will only help to make me become a better author myself! I'm so glad that you found Hermione spot on and enjoyed the bit about her still raising her hand all the time. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I do hope that you come back!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #56, by darkkid chapter one

6th December 2012:
Hi! I'm (raisha) from the review swap! I saw this Dramione fic and just HAD to read it!

I have to say that the first line here (first whole paragraph, actually) was EXCELLENT. Very captivating and it instantly pulled me in and made me want to read more! It really set the mood for the chapter. SO well done!

And I really love your characterization of Hermione. It was spot on! I really enjoyed looking into her mind. All of it was very believable.

And the ending was perfect. Malfoy is the last person anyone one be expecting to show up here!

A really, really good beginning to this story! Very well done! Good job!

Author's Response: EEEK! Your review has left me with so many feels right now! I'm really glad that you feel my opening sentence/paragraph was good and pulled you into the story. And Yay! you think Hermione is spot on! You have no idea how much that makes my day! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter and I do hope that you come back for more! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #57, by Keira7794 chapter one

6th December 2012:
I'm not the greatest Dramione fan - my love for Ron always gets in the way when I attempt to read them. He's always portrayed as some 'evil' character, who might be abusive, or drunk, or just plain mean. And that is exactly why I loved your opening chapter.

You've started in such a canon moment; it's perfectly reasonable for Draco to be in a classroom that Hermione runs into. And what happens with Ron is canon, he's still the same character from the books - which makes me very happy!

Although the first chapter was short, I found it to be the perfect length for a prologue. You talked me through a canon moment, I had an explanation for why my main character was behaving in the way she way, and you introduced another character perfectly - without giving too much away. I'm now intrigued and want to read more!

Your writing was set at an extremely good pace, and it flowed very well. There were a couple missing commas etc that made me pause at times, but other than that it was easy to read.

Great job! Keira :)

Author's Response: I just can't see Ron as being abusive/evil and such and that is one thing I dont like about dramiones is they feel they need to do that to him when really they dont. I'm so glad that you found my characterization of Ron good. With this story I really want to make it as close to canon as I can so it always makes me happy when people say that I'm doing well with that! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter and are interested to read more which i hope you do! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #58, by CherryBoom chapter one

4th December 2012:
I must admit that I'm not well versed with all things Dramione, nor do I quite understand what the big fuss about Draco as the ultimate bad boy is, so those things will probably affect my reviewing.

Anyways, I found it interesting that you chose to start this story from the canon moment where Hermione is especially vulnerable because of the way Ron treated her. It's excellent timing for a bad boy to swoop in and cause some trouble, but I do hope you won't underline too much goody two-shoes falls in love with baddie theme. After all Hermy is a strong and clever girl that needs someone who sees her as an equal. =)

Since this chapter is so short, it's pretty difficult to say much about the characters yet. This chapter didn't hint much about the future happenings, but I do hope that you have a good plot in store for them. Even though this was really shortish intro, it would have been nice to get more out of Draco than just sneering. I'm intrigued about his reasons for being in abandoned class room and why he chose to hide himself there. What was he doing that required such actions?

Your writing was smooth and I didn't notice any typos around. I do like that you gave us action right from the start, the chapter just ended bit abruptly. You managed to keep me hooked until the end and since I'm intrigued about Draco's agenda, I'm interested in reading the next chapter as well. =)

Author's Response: I'm trying very hard with this novel not to use any cliche's such as the bad boy/good girl image so i hope that if you do continue reading you will find that i've strayed away from those things. I'm also trying to keep this story as canon as I can make it but still add in the dramione parts! I'm glad that you liked it and that it kept you interested in reading more and hope that you do come back. Thank you for the review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #59, by LoopyLemon chapter one

29th October 2012:
This was a really short first chapter but it definitely grabbed my interest. I liked how you stuck to the book, but gave it a slight twist. Though you possibly need to add a disclaimer if your dialogue is the same as the dialogue in the book (I don't have my books with me so I can't check :P)

Your characters seemed in character, and thanks to the way the story stuck to the book I knew whose perspective I was reading from immediately. This was a wonderful first chapter. I might just go on and read more, despite the large amount of work I really should be doing :P

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much! yes I'm trying very hard to keep this as close to canon events as i can with adding in the dramione aspects of it all. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this and I really do hope that you decide to come back and read more! thank you for the review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #60, by AC_rules chapter eight

18th October 2012:
Hello there! Ac here reviewing for the Improvement challenge! Sorry I didn't answer your post on my wall, but I was going to reply yesterday and say that I'd get round to doing your review that day, but then that neither things happened so I thought it might be safer to leave you the review than to make any more promises.

Firstly, there was this bit This was the one bit of magic that I was extremely excited for, not that I wasn’t excited about any of the other things we had learned so far because I really found this all fascinating, but whenever we were asked as little kids which bit of magic, not that we really believed in magic, we would most want, I always responded with teleportation, but being invisible would be my next choice.

Basically, I really loved the sentiment in this and it made me smile to think of Hermione getting so excited about learning appartion and I wanted to copy and paste something in the paragraph to highlight that bit that I liked, but then I realised that this sentence is a little bit awkward anyway. I do understand exactly what you mean, but I think you've managed to phrase it in a way which takes a few seconds to get your head round it. A really picky thing, I didn't like the 'this all fascinating' thing. To me, it just felt like something you wouldn't say after studying magic for so long. Not the fascinating bit but the 'this all' - I can't really explain what I mean about that, but I just didn't really like it. Maybe 'I found all magic fascinating" or something like that. But the main problem was the amount of subordination within the sentence - there were just so many clauses and it took a lot of brain power for me to process it (probably just the side effect of doing to much uni work, but there we go). So yeah, maybe just separate that out into more than one sentence or just get rid of part of the sentence. It wasn't all necessary information to be in there :)

Another really little thing Malfoy got up from his table, announcing to his friends, if you could call them that, that he was going back to their common room early and quickly dismissed any who tried to come with him. . Would she be able to hear him? I get that she probably deduced what was happening, but I think you should make that more explicit :)

starting humming the Pink Panther theme song in my head, since it seemed spy-like, I even made sure to press myself against the walls before peering around the corner to make sure that I wouldn’t be spotted.

This bit really made me laugh, but I wasn't sure how much I could buy into in terms of characterisation. I think I'd chalk that behaviour more up to Ginny rather than Hermione, so I'm a little unsure about that. Although, saying that, the characterisation so far has been really nice - you've managed to get her enthusiasm for learning and books across without it seeming overdone, which is lovely (a lot of the time when I read Hermione literally all she ever does is read a book).

It seemed almost as if the room itself was a maze in which one could get lost in. Maybe its a personal thing, but I always find the use of 'one' in internal thoughts a bit... off. I don't know many people that think in 'ones' and stuff like that and you've used it a couple of times. Obviously, that's quite a personal decision and feel free to ignore this comment.

Okay, I've now read all the way through so I'm going to stop being as specific and talk about a few things. So first, you have a really nice smooth writing style through all the bits of description and the lark, but there are a couple of instances when your sentences are a bit... formulaic or awkward. By formulaic I mean that you often use quite a few of the same sorts of sentences. For example, starting with and adverb so 'Quickly,' etc... or another small clause at the beginning. Now, there's nothing wrong with that and it's only because i was paying such close attention that I noticed how frequently you used those sorts of sentences.

With the awkward ones, it was like the first example I highlighted with the lots of clauses. You can tell that you're a good writer and have a good grasp of it all, there's just a couple of moments where it could be... sharper. But overall I thought all your description was lovely and smooth and really enjoyable to read. It didn't take work, which was nice. It was... pleasant.

I did, however, prefer your description to your dialogue. Most of the time I really liked your characterisation of Hermione/Draco, but I felt it slipped slightly with the dialogue. Not exactly what was said, but with Hermione saying 'hello Malfoy' 'cheerily' I just couldn't imagine my version of Hermione ever being found following someone and then responding 'cheerily'. And the 'just fancied a stroll' reminded me very much of Harry! Although I liked that line, ahha.

The other thing about the dialogue was the word 'junk.' I know this sounds silly and specific again, but I doubt that Draco would have thought using the same word - 'junk' - as Hermione did when looking around it. Because people are really creative, so maybe he called it 'stuff' or 'rubbish' in his head, but the word 'junk' detracted from the realism for me, because Hermione had mentioned it so much in her internal thoughts.

But yes, I really enjoyed this chapter and it really was very good (I'm being as critical as I can be in the name of improvement) and I'm sorry it took so long to get to you! Things have been fairly hectic. Thanks for entering the challenge and hopefully you'll have time for a second piece (if not, feel free to take longer than the deadline - I'll still R&R)

-AC

Author's Response: Wow! I honestly don't know what to say! This is such a wonderful review and I thank you so much for taking the time to leaving such a long and thoughtout review! I guess I've never really realized how much I use Quickly and other words like that to start sentences and I think in my newest piece I have tried to stay away from that. I think dialouge is also not my strongest part of writing and as it is a dramione set in the actual book times its going to be very hard to keep them in character so I will definately take a look into editing their conversations a bit to make it more in character. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the chapter! thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #61, by draco rockz chapter eleven

11th October 2012:
i really am loving ur story alot its osom

Author's Response: Wow thank you so much! I'm so glad that you are enjoying it! I'm currently working on chapter 12 and hope to have it to my beta soonish! thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #62, by ScorpiusRose17 chapter two

8th October 2012:
Hi! :)

This was a really good chapter. I really liked the way that you have characterized Hermione. She is such a spite fire that easily picks up on the most deluded things. Her curiousity always gets the better of her. But now there is this spark that you have been able to light. There is something going on with Malfoy and I am curious to find out why.

I also like the way that you have him characterized he's got that Malfoy thing going pretty good, but he also has a hidden side that hardly anyone ever sees and I am curious as to if he intentionally chose for Hermione to be the one to see it.

Anyways...Keep up the great writing! I look forward to what happens next and I am adding this to my favorites! :) If I have counted correctly...this is my 600th review!

-SR17

Author's Response: Oh congrats on leaving 600 reviews! thats extremely awesome and i'm so happy that I could be number 600! I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story and that you feel I'm doing a great job with characterization! thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #63, by ScorpiusRose17 chapter one

8th October 2012:
Hi there!

This was a lovely first chapter! I liked the way that you used it to sort of sum up what is bound to happen in the upcoming chapters. I also liked how this seemed natural that Ron was already with Lavender and not just running off behind Hermione's back. It gives you that feeling of what if this happened instead...

And then we que in the sneakiness that is Draco. :) I like the way he sort of steps from the shadows and Hermione has this sense that he is there. I love his creepiness! :)

I look forward to reading what happens next!

-SR17

Author's Response: EEk this review makes me so happy! I'm so glad that it makes you want to continue reading! yes Draco is rather creepy! I'm trying so hard with this piece to keep it canon while during their school years and I'm so glad that so many people feel that it is working well! Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #64, by Emma_Felton4Ever chapter eleven

8th October 2012:
uh oh that bathroom scene... epic duel between harry and Draco! EKk can't wait to see hermione's reaction!

Author's Response: Yes this next chapter shall be an interesting one! I hope to have it finished soon and to my beta! Keep an eye out for it! thank you for reading and reviewing!

~slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #65, by EverDiggory chapter three

30th September 2012:
I am finally, finally here! I've been saying that a lot lately, but this was the worst wait by far!

Plot: It's slowly picking up! You immediately had my attention when there was no one laughing at Hermione like she expected. I want to know very badly why Draco didn't go loose lips on it all. I'm also anxious to see if you're going to add a bit of extra drama to this Cormac deal here... A little extra drama never hurt anyone! I feel a bit bad for Harry, always put in the undesirable position between Ron and Hermione when they bicker.

Dialogue: The first thing I thought when I read that first line of Harry's was how well you captured him! I was really surprised with myself that it was the first thing running through my head, but you definitely got him just right through the dialogue! Hermione's dialogue was just right as well. When she was around Ron it was very blunt and definitely a bit cold! The only thing is her thoughts. She felt very distant and I couldn't truly relate to her at first, she was very...stiff? You did a good job capturing what she would be thinking, but it wasn't in depth like one would actually think it? Especially her, since she's a bit nuts;) I'm sorry if I'm not making sense, I'm trying. But, right about when she's trying to think up a date for slughorn's party is when she really had very humanish thoughts and I could relate to her very easily. She didn't seem so stiff. I don't know what happened at the beginning, because never ever do I think your writing to be stiff, but it was somewhat blunt at the beginning is all. Easily fixed, so rest assured darling!

Imagery: Tricky, tricky. You did good, which is so incredibly hard through first person, but yet I'm still itching for more. I think what happened was you put lots of it--hooray!--in the first part! The only part I felt needed a bit more was Cormac himself! And possibly the common room. But, this is so very, very difficult when writing in first person so be careful that you don't over do it! I think you're pretty safe in this 'category' but theres no harm in shooting for perfection(which you're close to!)


Characterization: Ron is spot on! So clueless and it's definitely getting on my nerves--which is, I assume, the desired effect! Hermione is spot on as well, very...Hermioneish? Harry, through the dialogue you had, was also spot on! Even characters that didn't play as large a role as the trio did were very in character! Lavender, who annoys the hell out of me, and Cormac, who I swoon over even though he's blasted annoying too! He's so cocky and Lavender is so...obnoxious. CHaracterization is definitely one of your strength! Praise the lord, amen! I really hope you continue impressing me with your characterization in the further chapters!

I'm always here to help if you need me, no matter what you need! Keep up the awesome writing!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Oh Ever! This means so much to me! I'm so glad that you feel that characterization is one of my strong points that makes me really happy! I know I still have a lot to work on particularly with imagery but I thank you very much for going through and pointing out where I could stand to improve and to help me get there! Thank you so much for the wonderful and kind review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #66, by EverDiggory chapter two

14th September 2012:
I'm here again!

Alright, so I know I brought this up the last time, but since you're looking to improve your writing I'm willing to hold your nose to the grindstone to help you(; But the authors note, maybe it's just me, but perhaps bold it? Or perhaps a page break before that? I am nitpicking here, but for some reason it really throws me off looking like the rest of the text. I'm being ridiculous, but nonetheless.

Characterization: I think you did really well for Draco. While he was hurt, he did try to hide it and he didn't suddenly turn all nice nice on Hermione. His hateful words and spiteful attitude made him very in character. I often find him one of the hardest to keep in character, so good job! As for Hermione, I think you have her spot on as well. She didn't go mushy on Draco, she didn't make a huge scene in the common room, which is a plus. I love how she didn't further press Draco, and I loved how she was observant enough to realize why Draco was in there. It was very..Hermione-ish(; Good job! I don't know if I should comment on Harry, because he wasn't really a focus for the chapter, but the fact that he kinda suffered silently with Hermione and didn't make a huge scene was pretty in character!

Imagery: This is particularly tricky because, bless your heart, you have written this in first person. I love first person dearly, but it is a tricky devil. I know it is, but perhaps you could add a little more. I liked how you described Draco's puffy, pink eyes but think there is room for more. Perhaps go for describing Draco's appearance further, but not excessively? It really is a difficult fine balance, but I'm sure you could do it! I think, perhaps, you should make it a point to describe Harry slightly as well? Maybe even the common room while the celebrations are taking place?

Flow: The flow was pretty good! You've really got it down, there aren't any messy jumps and there are plenty of transitioning sentences that really smooth out the seams.

Plot: I'm mildly interested, but I don't wonder if the first and second chapter could have been combined? Ultimately, I don't recommend it because you're rather far into the story and the reviews you have shouldn't be lost, but I think you're progressing nicely. At first I thought it was a little slow, but upon thinking quite hard about it, I realized it was actually just realistic(; I'm curious as to what happens in the next chapter and what part Draco will be playing in all this. I'm also curious as to Ron's going to react to this. I'm still rather put out by him because he's so daft.

Areas that I think could use some extra work: Imagery. Yes, this is a difficult area but I think it would certainly add to it. I love Hermione's thoughts, but they seem a little empty to me. I want to read some deeper thoughts! You have some of them, but lots of them are like this one "It turned out to be Parvati Patil, which was a bit of a relief to me to know that I wouldn't have to be alone with Lavender tonight." Perhaps its just me, but I think it would be interesting to read Hermione dreading that it just may be Lavender, and then noting the relief when it was just Parvati. I'd really have also like to seen her wondering more about Draco, not just wondering when she was around him because it seems to me that question would really plague her thoughts. I think she'd also think about Ron quite a bit and why he was so daft, I mean... and why he doesn't realize how badly he's hurting her.

I'm always here to help if you need it. If you'd like, I'd find it quite a fun project to help you improve! (Which, if I may point out at this time, you are quite good! But, theres no harm in bettering something thats already quite polished)

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Thank you once more for being willing to tackle this huge project with me. I'm so glad that you are enjoying this story! It is going to progress rather slowly but I feel that for a dramione that is really the only way to go to make it realistic in any way! I will look into those few suggestions to make this story better including figuring out how to bold the ANs at the bottom so that reader doesnt think that there is still more to read. Thank you once more for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #67, by EverDiggory chapter one

2nd September 2012:
Here with your review!

Plot: I have to say, the end were Draco comes out did pick up my interest. I'm interested to see hwo you portray him, but with your inclusion of the word sneer, I can expect he will be his usual self...at least for a little bit? Perhaps I'm wrong, but;P The ending definitely hooked me, so I need ot know whats going to happen next

Garmmar/Spelling: This was fine! I saw no mistakes. One thing, which really doesn't fit here, but really doesn't fit anywhere else, is that the authors note should be in bold, or should have a page break or something. Let me rephrase, it doesn't need it per se, but it would be nice to signal the end of the chapter.

Flow: I suppose this is a bit of a useless comment, but so far your flow is great! You didn't hop around anywhere so the flow was wonderful(;

Characterization: I love Hermione. I think you have her pretty well. She cares but she's not overly dramatic. Lavender is plenty annoying, so you got her spot on as well! Oh, Ron! Gosh! You daft being... I'm not sure whether to be frustrated he didn't realize she was hurt or happy because now Draco gets to be in the picture(; I like Ron, even though we saw a little of him. So daft and doesn't realize how he's being. Even though we saw very, very, verly little of Draco, so far you've got him down! Hhaha just the word sneer and referring to her as Granger really kept him flawlessly canon! Haha(:

Imagery: While there wasn't much, I think you had just the right amount for what happened in this chapter! Finding a balance with your imagery/descriptions is pretty hard to me at least, and you did really great!

One thing I have to add is I love, love, love the beginning! It is so true and its one of those lines that you don't ever quite forget! You think about it when something like this happens to you, and I love that. Giving your readers a beautiful line such as that really gives this story a gorgeous touch. The whole paragraph just sent a bell off in my head, this is going to be an amazing story. I also feel like this story is going to be a touching romance rather than a fluff. A romance with really deep emotions and I'm excited to read!

Feel free to rerequest hun!

xx

Ever

Author's Response: Well as i've already told you, I absolutely love your reviews! This review just has me gushing! I'm so happy that you couldn't really find anything wrong with this first chapter and that it does make you want to read more and that you think it will be a cute romance story! Thank you so much for the wonderful review and being willing to help me make this story even better!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #68, by jess Chapter Ten

24th August 2012:
eee yay i love it :)

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much! I'm currently working on chapter 12 and hope to have it to my beta soonish! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #69, by JessiesGirl chapter one

23rd August 2012:
Hey, it's JessiesGirl (Katherine) here for the review swap.

I really enjoyed reading this. I think you did a very good job of portraying Hermione's heartbreak; you could really tell how hurt she was. I think your characterisation for her was pretty spot on as well, although I can only make the judgement from what I've read of this story so far which isn't much. Your characterisation of Ron and Lavender was also very well done so kudos for that.

I think it's both interesting and clever that you've chosen to trigger a Dramione relationship at this point specific point in the series. Hermione is heartbroken and Draco is obviously worried and vulnerable about the task Voldemort has set him so the likelihood of the two developing feelings for eachother is a lot stronger than it would be under normal circumstances. I think this is important considering the fact you're writing a Dramione novel because they're not the most realistic of pairings. You seem to have given this thought and consideration and I like that you're taking a realistic approach.

Ah, I'm tempted to read more now because so little has happened in this first chapter. I might pop back in an hour and give chapter two a read. Great job, I really liked this!

- Katherine

Author's Response: You have no idea how much this review has given me feels! Its very hard keeping this canon and adding in the whole dramione bits so people saying that I'm doing a good job with that just make me so happy! I do love dramiones very much and I'm so excited that even people who don't normally read dramiones can at least see it happening with how I have set it up! I'm so glad that you think my characterization is great with Hermione as well! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #70, by TheHeirOfSlytherin chapter three

15th August 2012:
It's interesting seeing HBP from Hermione's point of view, especially how she felt about Ron and Lavender and her reasons for picking Cormac as her date, rather than hearing it from Harry's point of view. It's like getting a full story instead of half.

Great chapter and I apologize for adding this to my favorites, but only reading/reviewing chapters one and two; I will get back to reading this. It's awesome so far. :)

SamMalfoy.

Author's Response: It's all good. I favorite stories and then kind of forget to look and see if they have been updated! Though I do hope that you continue on! Chapter 11 has been posted and chapter 12 is getting worked on! I'm glad that you are enjoying seeing HBP from Hermione's pov, now I just hope that when I get to DH that people will like that as well! thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #71, by Rebecca Chapter Ten

14th August 2012:
Absolutely amazing so far! I love Dramione :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking your time to leave me a review! I'm so glad that you like it.. hopefully I will start working on chapter 11 soon! Thank you again!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #72, by jess_themess123 Chapter Ten

13th August 2012:
Cute! and well written so far as well; keep it up!! (:

Author's Response: Aw! thank you so much! I'm so glad that you are enjoying it! I hope to start writing chapter 11 soon! thank you again for taking the time to review!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #73, by Cassie Whitmann Chapter Ten

13th August 2012:
Love, love, love! I have, as of late, become obsessed with Draco/ Hermione fics, loving this one so far! Love how it's not Post-Hogwarts but rather their actual time at Hogwarts. Really well done! Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much for the great compliments! I hope to start working on chapter 11 soon! Thank you again for taking the time to leave me a review! I hope you continue to enjoy the story and dramione's!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #74, by darcjournee chapter one

7th August 2012:
OMG it`s amazing!I loved it

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review! I'm so glad that you like it! chapter 11 has now been posted and I've started working on chapter 12! Again thank you for reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review

Review #75, by Snitchsista chapter three

29th July 2012:
I came across this story again because I've seen it come up a lot on this site and I think it was in my favourites list (if it's not it's going in!) and the reason why is because it is so realistic.

The Dramione relationship is amazing in this :) It's very genuine, it's very realistic. In life, romance doesn't just happen over night and I can't tell you how many stories I've read where Draco and Hermione are kissing on page one. I just will never understand why authors think that's realistic.

Anywhoo, I really like how this is going and I want to know why Draco was upset! That's going to pester me I can tell. The Cormac twist is great as well. God I love fanfiction, I'd forgotten how much I've been working on my original lol

I really liked this bit:

Hey Hermione, how was the rest of your night?” Ron asked me from across the table. If I had known he was there I would have sat somewhere else especially since his new girlfriend was sitting right next to him, practically on top of him.

“Hello Harry. Did you have a good evening?” I asked turning to him, ignoring Ron’s question.

That was so in character, I remember now, this is set HBP era isn't it? It's all coming back to me now, the 'new girlfriend' is Lavender lol

Keep writing this

Author's Response: It's so hard to write a realistic Dramione and I'm trying to make this one that way! Yeah I'm not sure why authors think that having two people who dont like each other kissing on page one is realistic either, unless its one in which they start in the middle of the story and then jump back to the beginning. Yep this starts in hbp and goes into dh which i'm almost to dh i think i have about three or so more chapter left of hbp! I'm so glad that you are enjoying this and thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>