Reading Reviews for Life As We Know It
327 Reviews Found

Review #51, by Very Secret Santa chapter three

30th December 2014:
Again, I am amazed at how well you follow the inner thoughts of Hermione. You entwined her every-day life and all that’s happening in Hogwarts cleverly with her thoughts.

Even though seeing Draco the day before had clearly occupied her mind a lot, she wakes up and all she can think of is Ron. I liked that a lot, because clearly this would have a deeper impact on her.

But then towards the end of the chapter, we get some Malfoy-time again and it adds to the suspense. What are him and Pansy planning, and what was he telling her? Pansy is another intriguing character and I cannot wait to see what you will do to her (and Draco)...

I also feel - and maybe that’s only a feeling - that you wrote this chapter more carefully. It seems well thought-through and has a more delicate choice of words, even though it is somewhat a “filler”.

I noticed that commas are misplaced on some occasions, maybe you could have a look at that sometime. Also just very small things that caught my eye:

“and rubbed at my puffy eyes.” - which, I think, should be “rubbed my puffy eyes”, without “at”

“Ron would be the dominate one” - dominant

“he had taken her to the same room I had run off too” - had run off to(, too)

“Ron and Neville both deep in thought about their next movements.” I think in games it would be called just “moves”, not movements

“and just merely thinking about it set me on edge.” - and here I guess either just or merely would suffice.

Otherwise another wonderful chapter!

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Review #52, by Very Secret Santa chapter two

30th December 2014:
Hola again!

What a nice second chapter. Again, I really appreciate the slow pace you are taking with this story. It gives the reader time to let themselves fall into your world.

What was probably most interesting in this chapter, is that Hermione in your story and Harry in the books both get to see the vulnerable Draco that clearly has some problems. But here we see, how different a reaction that can evoke from people depending on their personality and circumstances.

Your insight into Hermione’s thoughts really fit of what JKR describes: She’s empathetic and wants to know the reasons and motivation behind people’s behaviour.

I am wondering now if Draco was there in the Room of Requirement because of his plan with the vanishing cabinet – and “hiding oneself” means the same to the room as “hiding something” – or if he was there to be alone, just as he later does with Myrtle…?

The additional roommates of Hermione’s are a very good addition, too. In general, the life Hermione leads besides what we know is always a bit of a mystery, so I always love to read the details authors come up with. Overall you do a great job with putting yourself in the spot of your characters.

As for CC, I would maybe go over the text again regarding expressions and some minor grammar stuff. It isn’t bothersome at all, your story is still great to read, but if you plan on reediting it again you might want to think about it. Maybe I should mention that I’m very far from being a grammar-whiz so my greatest apologies if I suggest corrections of things that are actually correct! :o

Concerning expressions:

“There had to be something going on that I couldn’t place” – this expression implies, imo, that you noticed something (an action, a detail) but cannot decide for the context; not that you have nothing but a vague idea that something’s off.

“And that’s when I noticed it, the slight pink of his grey eyes, telling me the truth.” – I got a bit confused here, because I never heard of pink eyes before. It becomes clearer toward the end of the chapter, when you explain that he does in fact have pink spots in his eyes, but maybe you could write it here too?

“just the sound of shredding paper connecting us.” – I thought another expression might be better, since you describe very well how Hermione feels connected to him because they both go through the same heart-break. So actually, it is more than just shredding paper connecting them, but maybe the paper is forming a silent conversation? Or something like that ;)

“though hers was contained to just a small portion of her bed.” – I thought about it a bit, and maybe it’s just me being a little bit slow again (in that case – sorry!) but I just couldn’t get what this sentence is supposed to mean :(

“even my nightstand was placed exactly so, making sure” this is a little bit awkward, so maybe you could say “, so that ..[explanation]”

As for orthography / grammar etc.:

“...even though really I didn’t care.” I believe here there should either be commas added, or the word order changed to “I really didn’t”

“For the words that he said, the agony behind his eyes…” Maybe in accordance with the following sentence this should also be written in past perfect!

“They were preoccupied on a certain blonde” – preoccupied with sth.

“as Dean had kissed Ginny not too long after Ron and Lavender disappeared” – had disappeared

“and as bad as it may have seemed, I was kind of glad..” – as bad as it may seem (otherwise it’d be something that has happened before)

“loves cruel sting” – apostrophe “love’s cruel sting”

I hope you don't mind my nitpicking - gread read!

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Review #53, by MadiMalfoy chapter seventeen

30th December 2014:
Well it has been a mighty long time since I read this last! But I had some free time so I decided to catch up on this and see where you were going with it! :)

They kissed!!! And it wasn't overly done or anything! It fit the situation and its purpose well. (And it just made me happy because yay Dramione) :) You write without adding unnecessary prose or description. First person can sometimes be a little tricky, but you write Hermione very well! Sometimes wielding canon characters in different situations (namely Dramione in this case) can be difficult and come across as extremely OOC, but you handled the information given to Hermione very well and adapted canon events to fit with everything. And I liked the little bit with Bill--helps to flesh out his character and how he actually got the scars from Fenrir (since I seem to be forgetting how he canonically gets them; I must need to reread the books again).

Overall, these last couple of chapters were splendid and I'm excited for more! Although I'll most likely be late on them, I'll still do my best to get around to upcoming stuff as soon as I find free time! :)
~MadiMalfoy x

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Review #54, by Very Secret Santa chapter one

30th December 2014:
Here I am again, after all the roof-climbing and handing-out-of-presents still a little bit beaten, but what could be better to relax than a great story!

I will try to review every chapter of this story. I have worked a little bit ahead, so here I go!

First of all, the setting of the story is quite interesting. It starts with a canon event, but takes on a completely different direction. We don't know yet how the storyline of the war, Voldemort, the Death Eaters and so on will progress - if it goes in a similar direction as the books, you've set yourself a big task, and I can't wait to see how it will turn out.

I also like the way Hermione tells the story. Her analytical thoughts are very much in character. Especially her description of Lavender is really sharp, I loved it! The difference between her reaction when Ron ran into her and Harry in the books, and when they run into her here, is interesting. I guess Lavender's presence does make a difference. In any case, your descriptions of her thoughts and feelings at that moment is very convincing.

You took enough time to perfectly ease into the story. The whole first chapter takes place within - what, maybe 15 minutes. It's good that you made Hermione's feelings and thoughts clear and set a solid ground from where to kick off with the rest of the story.

There are also a lot of question implied in the story, that make me curious. For example, how will Malfoy's task of killing Dumbledore work out when he has to do with Hermione?
How come, that the room of requirement let people into a place where one goes when they want to be alone? (It's interesting to think that it would react as when you ask it to turn into a place to hide stuff - and after all, the room can only be one place at a time - or can it?)

Very good job with the first chapter!

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Review #55, by HeyMrsPotter chapter fourteen

30th December 2014:
Hello again, Erica! Happy second review hot seat day :D

Things are getting so exciting at this point in the story! You have this really wonderful ability to create tension in your chapters, and its so evident in this one. Even though I know what is going to happen with Harry and Dumbledore and, to an extent, Draco, I still find myself scared for them!

I really enjoyed Hermione's interactions in this one, as much as I can't get enough of her conversations with Draco, it was nice to read about her conversing with others. The brief glimpse we had of Dumbledore was brilliant, he's so difficult to write but you managed brilliantly. I can understand Hermione's disappointment with him but of course we know that he only brushed her off because he knows what is going on with Draco. I also really loved her teasing remarks to Ginny about her snogging Harry!

Looking forward to reading the next chapter, I'm very nearly caught up! Which means you need to write more :p

Dee :)

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Review #56, by wolfgirl17 chapter one

29th December 2014:
Happy 2nd Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review Day!

This chapter s a little all over the place as far as first chapter goes. I mean, you've really laid the foundation for Hermione's anguish over Ron and Lavender, and you did leave us with a great cliffie there at the end with Malfoy finally revealing itself.

The middle is a little clunky though. Like, you're a little repetitive with the bit of her being so upset and the bit when Hermione is demanding that Malfoy come out, not realising it's him. I was totally hoping for some more tension between Ron and Hermione too.

It's always bugged me that Ron was so purposely dense about the idea. I mean, he knows she's upset over him being with Lavender. He has to, otherwise he wouldn't say that line about her having her knickers in a twist and him being a free agent. He has to know. So why is he such a sod about it?

I'd love to see some elaboration on that scene in this chappie if you ever do another edit. And maybe a little more of what's to come with the plot. Like so far you've just got Hermoine mad at Ron. Ron and Lav getting together and Malfoy randomly showing up. It's just not much to really hook the reader into wanting to find out anything other than what Malfoy is going to say to her, you know?

Anyway, on to the next chapter. Keep up the good work.


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Review #57, by kenpo chapter one

27th December 2014:
Hello! Thanks for the swap! (I'm ten reviews away, so I'll likely end up reviewing more than just this chapter in the next two days). Before I start reading, I feel like I need to tell you that Dramione isn't really my thing, but I am open to reading it, particularly from someone who I have faith in making it natural. So... here I go!

I love the notes about Lavender. I agree - the fact that her favorite subject is Divination does speak volumes! Yay for judgement and cynicism!

I'm looking forward to exploring a Dramione in this Era, rather than post-war. I also like the fact that this begins with a very canon event. It's comforting to me, seeing as I'm so out of my comfort zone, reading this.

Draco has to be the last person that Hermione would want to run into, especially at this point.

Your Ron was also in character, which I was happy to see. I liked how much focus you gave that moment with Ron considering whether to go with Lavender or stay and make sure that Hermione was okay. You made just a few seconds last paragrahs, but in a good way. I liked that a lot.

The narrative style fit Hermione really well. I liked the bigger blocks of paragraphs, because that's probably how Hermione thinks. I also like seeing that this is first person, from her POV. I don't think I see that too often. I write Hermione a lot, but I don't think I usually do first person... do I? Oh god, I can't even remember. I think I usually do third person.


I loved the last line. The fact that Malfoy experiences glee at the hands of Hermione's humiliation is comforting to me. Even though I know that you're a good writer, I'm instinctively made nervous by Dramione.

(There is something cooking in my house and it's making me so hungry)

I liked this chapter! I'll definitely be returning to read on! I'll see how far I can get before classes start and I have to give up a lot of reviewing.

Thanks again for the swap! I always like getting out of my comfort zone, and this was a good read!


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Review #58, by mymischiefmanaged chapter three

20th December 2014:
Hello hello! I'm catching up on all my reviewing/responding/writing and realised I've massively neglected our long term swap over the last few months. Sorry about that!

Okay, this chapter. I like how it starts. Hermione trying to rationally convince herself that things are okay and that she doesn't need to be upset is a very convincing portrayal of how her character as she appears in canon would approach this kind of situation. It's a side to Hermione that we don't really see through Harry's eyes, because Harry's not all that good at dealing with other people's emotions, but I think the way you've handled it is very realistic and in character. She's let herself have the feelings, but wants to talk herself back into being logical because it's where she feels comfortable.

And then Hermione's ignoring Ron at breakfast is a lovely nod to the fact that we can't properly ignore our feelings. It's satisfying to see Hermione getting her revenge, even if it is just in a tiny way. And I like that Harry's there and just completely oblivious because neither of his best friends have filled him in.

Malfoy's words are cruel both times Hermione runs into him, but I think you keep the tone just light enough that we can see there might be something going on behind it. He's struggling, and taking it out on other people so he doesn't have to think about it. Or maybe I just read that here because I know what happens in JK's work. Either way, it's very well written and is a good development of his character.

Pansy's hideous, but wonderfully so.

This is all round a very good chapter, and I really enjoyed reading it. Sorry for not reviewing so much recently! Things have been a bit hectic.

Lots of love,

Emma xx

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Review #59, by HufflePuff_Blitz chapter one

11th December 2014:
Merry Christmas Erica!
Here is your gift part 1 of idk. Until I get the story posted. :)
I loved this first chapter. You took a classic scene from the books and gave it a really nice twist.
The whole chapter I just really wanted to punch and or kiss Ron at the same time. So I think i was able to tune into Hermiones feelings.
But anyways great! Can't wait to read more!

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Review #60, by HeyMrsPotter chapter thirteen

10th December 2014:
Hello again! What better time to catch up LAWKI than your review hot seat day :D

It really shows in this chapter how far you've come with your writing from the early version of chapter 1. You've got some really amazing language and imagery throughout this chapter. This line in particular:
'Each step I took seemed to accentuate the pale pallor of Draco's face as he lay there on the infirmary bed' is just beautiful.

As always, your characterisation is perfect. I'm so used to how well you write Hermione and Draco but it was Harry's part in the beginning of the chapter that really impressed me. The simple things like him sliding down the wall and the small smile with Ginny were very typical of him. Ron was brilliant too, I loved how he was distracted by the chess game.

The interaction at the end was so sad, I can really feel Draco's pain at the situation he's got himself into and how desperately he doensn't want to do it but feels he has to. And of course Hermione was perfectly stubborn with him! I'm glad she's not giving up on helping him :)


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Review #61, by teh tarik chapter three

10th December 2014:

It's a miracle Hermione doesn't throw another punch and knock his pretty jawline crooked. :P There's so much friction between Hermione and Malfoy, Hermione and Ron, Hermione and Lavender...poor Hermione! It's pretty much her against the world.

I love how you explore the more secret side of Hermione, the side that yearns for some sort of intimacy, and I like that you make her honest with herself, confronting herself and her desires...and then at the same time, realise she's overthinking things. This is SO Hermione! Every chapter I read, I feel that you break her character open more and more and reveal more of her nature without going OOC for a moment.

I'm glad Hermione fought back against Malfoy in front of Pansy. It's great to see her standing up to him; I don't think Malfoy should be let off the hook so easily for all his insults. The presence of each other destabilises the other's facades, and I think this is a very interesting dynamic between Malfoy and Hermione.

Great work on this chapter, Erica!


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Review #62, by teh tarik chapter two

10th December 2014:
I really enjoyed this chapter, Erica. I think you're writing Hermione so, so well!

The whole exchange with Malfoy was great. I was a little angry with Malfoy initially haha. I thought he was being his cruel self, but I'm glad Hermione saw through the whole facade, saw his vulnerability. Now they both need to keep each other's secrets, and I think this is a really interesting way for a relationship to start, or for them to get to know each other's lives better. Not the most conventional way to get to know someone, of course, but then again, Dramione is hardly the most conventional of ships.

Ooh, I love the little detail of the Portable Swamp! I love these nods to canon; these really make your fic fit in nicely with the timeline.

And gah! That moment between HArry and Hermione was amazing. They understand each other so well, and their friendship is something which I always love tor ead about. Also, don't hate me, but I'm quite a big Harmony shipper. :P :P So that scene was a lovely treat.

I think the description of the girls' dorm was great! I love the contrasts between Hermione's bed and the other girls. They're not as tidy or well-kept as her, but I can't help but get the feeling that they're probably enjoying themselves a lot more than poor Hermione is.

Another great chapter, Erica!


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Review #63, by wolfgirl17 chapter three

10th December 2014:
Hey love,

So I don't remember if I ever reviewed for this story before, but I hope I did because the first time I read it, I absolutely loved it. Literally, I'm pretty sure I sat up until 6am one night/morning because I couldn't put it down. This story really just sucks me in and makes me want to read it over and over again. It's positively brilliant. You did a fantastic job on this story, and no doubt on the others you've written, which I'll be heading to shortly as I'm here for review hot-seat and so will be reviewing as many of your stories as I can. I may also be one of those really annoying readers for the length of this review hot seat day and review every chapter. =D

Hope that's ok. I love this story, as you will no doubt read countless times from me. You're writing is just fantastic and brilliant and addictive and I must read more!

P.S. I will try to be less gushy for the rest of the reviews I leave you and more constructive, but no promises =P

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Review #64, by teh tarik chapter one

10th December 2014:

Hey dear, I'm here for the Hufflepuff Hot Seat yay! I don't think I've ever read any of your stories before for some reason, so I'm so glad that I have the chance to finally read your work!

I always find well-written Hogwarts Era Dramione intriguing, because I love to see how authors slot in the ship amid all the canon events. I was really surprised to read a fic written in first person, with Hermione as the narrator. It's really refreshing; I can't even remember when I last read Hermione in first person!

And I think you've captured her voice really well, right from the first sentence. You showed her anger, her jealousy and judgemental attitude toward Lavender, and her heated self-denial of her feelings for Ron, as well as her sense of pride.

And gah, that must have been the worst of luck for poor Hermione: running away to the Room of Requirement to clear her thoughts and escape from Ron and Lavender, only for those two to turn up there. :( Ooh, I had the feeling Malfoy would be in there, the moment she heard that noise!

I can't wait to read on; this meeting between Draco and Hermione is really intriguing. Brilliant start, Erica! ♥


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Review #65, by Veritaserum27 chapter four

11th October 2014:
Hello Erica,

I'm here for another chapter of this super sweet story! This chapter was great! I really like the pace of the story - you are giving us time to know Hermione and know her innermost feelings. The more I read, the more I realize how important that is. I know I've said it before, but I think you've captured her perfectly in this fic - she is first and foremost practical, but so, so deep with feeling.

I let out a small giggle at the undetectable extension charm - of course Hermione would be practicing that early on. I love her reasoning for going to the furthest shop first (I do that, too!), but you fit it right into her personality and made it fit into your story as well.

I think I found a typo in the part where you were talking about Hermione's gift to her mother:

I figured that year, I would get her two.

Do you mean "I figured this year, I would get her two." It seems to fit better with the tense of the story.

Sooo... Draco seems to be having a bit of trouble with Pansy, eh? I actually felt a bit bad for Pansy here - and that is a feat, because she is a detestable character. But I don't think she deserves the treatment she's been getting from Draco. He's blowing her off, with no explanation.

Your author's note mentioned that this chapter was either added or extended from the original story and I have to say that it seemed to fit in very nicely. I didn't notice any awkward transitions from the previous chapters. Great job!

♥ Beth

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Review #66, by Lily chapter seventeen

8th October 2014:
This is a fantastic story. It's upon some of the best I've read. The best part of most Dramione fics is when Harry and Ron find out about Hermione and Draco. I look forward to seeing how you write that (whenever it may be) and also look foward to seeing what happens next with Draco and if Hermione manages to pull him over. Hope you update soon! xx

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Review #67, by papilio chapter seventeen

1st October 2014:
I really enjoyed this chapter and glad to see you'd updated. I loved the fight.

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Review #68, by Yoshi_Kitten chapter two

30th September 2014:
Hey Erica. I am SO sorry it has taken me so long to get back to this. RL has been CRAZY these past few weeks!! But here I am, finally, ready to review this amazing story of yours!! First of all, let me say that I am really sorry this didn't get more attention in the Dobbys this year. You characterization of Hermione (and now even Draco) is so spot-on. I just feel like you should get WAY more attention for that. This really feels like the I'm reading the characters that JKR created, and that's saying something. You write everything so realistically, and it's very well done!! =)

Honestly, the only CC I really have to give here is in your paragraph length. There were a few instances; like the paragraph right after where Draco leaves the Room of Requirement, and Hermione is thinking about his odd behavior. I feel like that could easily be divided up into two parts - right where she says I shook my head; I couldn't let myself think like that. for example. And the long paragraph where she was pondering all the activity in the common room, right before Parvati came up to her is another example. I feel like a good place to begin a new paragraph there would be when she says I felt strange as I watched everyone else laugh and have fun.

And then, finally, the very last paragraph is another that could be split up as well. Actually, the last three paragraphs of this could be looked back over, but that very final one is a monster of a paragraph, lol. I feel like that one could easily make three parts. You could start a new paragraph when she looks up and Sarah and Lisa come in; and then you can split it up again when Hermione says Was the toll of books and cleverness to be alone I think that would be good...

These are only my personal suggestions though, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. It is YOUR story, after all. It could just be because I was reading this chapter from my mobile device the first time, but I found myself skimming over some of those larger paragraphs, and then had to stop myself and reread back over things. This happened more than once, so I just felt it was worth mentioning. I myself am guilty of writing overly long paragraphs too, and someone brought it to my attention once also. Again, this is probably just a personal preference thing though. Please don't think I'm being too picky, lol. Your writing is seriously really good!!

And the plot is thickening already!! Malfoy wants her to keep quiet and, in exchange, he will do the same. I really like how you have Hermione sort of obsessing over him by the end of this, lol. It's very realistic of her character; always wanting to know the answers to the mystery. That's what I really like about this story so far - it all seems entirely plausible. I think my favorite part though, was the scene between Hermione and Harry. It was slightly altered from the way things happened in Cannon, but yet all of the important aspects of it were there. You, again, write Harry and Hermione's relationship very realistically.

Now I know that I have been using that word a LOT in this review, lol! But that's only because I mean it! Seriously, I've already told you before that I'm not much of a Dramione shipper. But that mostly stems from the sole fact that I just do not see this pairing as being realistic enough to support... With this story, however, you have set it up in such a way that I actually can see this working out; and that in an of itself is an accomplishment, haha!! ;)

This is really great hun, and I cannot wait to read more. (Actually, I may have already read ahead, lol, but I digress.) I am super excited to see where you go with this, especially as the events of DH start to take place, if it goes that far... Keep up the great work!! And again, I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to this. I cannot wait to see your responses tho!! Hopefully you don't think that I was being too critical with this review... See you in the next chapter. Thanks so much for the swap!! =D


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Review #69, by AdinaPuff chapter one

23rd September 2014:
Hi, here for our review swap!

Wow, what a great start to the story. I love how you have this scene that happened in the book, in your fanfic. It gives it a lot more of a canon feel, and just proves how much you've thought into this. Poor Hermione, having to deal with Ron being with Lavender when she clearly wants to be with him. And then to top it all off, Draco shows up. Of course this is going to be dramione, so Draco being around is expected. But I'm sure he's the last person she wants to see when she's crying and torn up already (at this point in the story, anyway).

Great job. I actually am going to read on and leave you a review on the latest chapter when I get there. I love this so much already! The characterization is great so far. Spot on. I just can't wait to see you weave a dramione into their years at Hogwarts.

Until the latest chapter!


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Review #70, by Veritaserum27 chapter three

20th September 2014:
Hi hi!

I'm here from Review Tag. I just saw your review of ASLTW and jumped at the chance to leave you one for LAWKI.

Ok, I know I said this before, but I'm really loving this story form Hermione's POV. I love that you've made her so vulnerable. I always thought that was one of Harry's most endearing traits - the fact that he was unsure about his abilities, but carried on anyway. Your version of Hermioine is so deep. She's more than just a girl who cares about her grades and keeps Harry and Ron out of trouble.

The second and third paragraphs show us her deepest desires - she is really passionate and even doubts herself at that respect, thinking that her overactive mind will get in the way. (I don't think it will, when it comes down to that.) The way that she rationalizes Ron and Lavender's tryst was heartbreaking, because we know how that is going to go for her :(

This was just an all around awful day for Hermione. Things went from bad to worse. First she realizes that she lives with Lavender and will have to hear about her and Ron, then she hopes that it was just a one nighter to find out that it isn't.

Then when Malfoy decides to get nasty with her, I was glad to see that her bravery shone through and she didn't back down - she gave it right back to him. Even though she might be hurting on the inside, she can still stand up for herself.

I found one sentence that sounded a bit odd when Draco is confronting Hermione after she follows him out of the Great Hall:

Then again, what am I saying, you are nothing more than a pathetic Mudblood.

I think it might read better as two sentences, because the first one sounds like a question:

Then again, what am I saying? You are nothing more than a pathetic Mudblood.

I also noticed a typo:

It seemed like everyone else though that the personal lives of others were much more important than making sure that their homework was completed for the next day.

I think you mean "thought" not "though."

I have to admit that I'm not normally a Dramione shipper, but this story is fascinating to me because you've fixed it within the canon-verse. We all know what Draco was dealing with during sixth year - and Hermione as well! But I think, more importantly, you've captured their emotions so well.

Great job!

Beth :)

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Review #71, by Lostmyheart chapter fourteen

19th September 2014:
Hi Erica!

I love how this story develops. It follows the story line, and I love the details. What interests me the most is that the school year is almost over, and I can't wait to see what you're planning to do, if you continue following Hermione while she helps Harry and Ron finding Horcruxes or if you change the story completely, to include Draco. Or are you planning to stop it soon? Argh! So many questions, but of course you can't answer them, that's for me to find out while I read.

I didn't like Dumbledore at all, but I do understand why he was so dismissive. He knows about Draco, therefor he doesn't want to talk about it with Hermione, but I wish he hadn't been so rude :) Poor Hermione.

I am so excited to see what you're going to do next, since Harry is joining Dumbledore on the trip to the cave. I can imagine things are going to get intense from now on, since we know what's going to happen later that night... ugh, it makes me sad to think about it.

I'll read on, and I'll see you in a bit. Hopefully with a more constructive review, haha.

- Avi

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Review #72, by mymischiefmanaged chapter two

19th September 2014:
Hiya, here for our next chapter swap :)

You kept Malfoy very in character here which I really like. The danger with Dramione's is that often to make them compatible people twist Draco's character, but you've not fallen into that trap. His smirking was definitely believable.

It says something really lovely about Hermione that she's so concerned about Draco and upset for him after he's just been horrible to her, especially because she's got her own problems to worry about at the same time.

Hermione and Harry's friendship is really well written here. They both realise how the other is feeling without really needing to talk about it, and it clearly helps Hermione to realise her friend is in the same position. I really liked Harry trying to deny his feelings for Ginny - he should probably know better than to try to lie to Hermione by this point :)

I really enjoyed this chapter and am looking forward to seeing what happens next!

Emma xx

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Review #73, by daliha chapter one

16th September 2014:
Dramione isn't my usual cup of tea but this fic makes an exception this first chapter was well written you kept all the characters in character, I just wonder how are you going to get these two opposites together, for that I'll read on, this is definitely on my reading list, thank you for letting me read this and thank you for the swap :)

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Review #74, by crestwood chapter one

16th September 2014:
Hey, here for our review swap!

I'll say, I don't typically read a ton of Dramione fics. I don't hate them, but I don't seek them out either. I have heard that you are an excellent writer now though, so I decided to give yours a chance. I was not disappointed by this first chapter.

I can't believe this chapter has 75 reviews, by the way. That is such a huge accomplishment to be proud of!

A lot of times Lavender does end up sparking these Dramione romances, but I think you've gone about this a bit differently. Usually, the case is that Ron and Hermione are already together and Ron cheats on her with Lavender, pushing her into Draco's comforting arms. And while there's nothing wrong with that approach, I think this way of going about things is even more interesting, as the war is still going on and they're still at Hogwarts and the stigma must be much worse than if it were to occur after everything is over.

I thought Ron's reaction to coming across Hermione was really in character for him. He almost stopped and made sure that she was okay, but something in his pride caused him to leave with Lavender instead. It's that insensitive streak in him that usually pushes Hermione toward Draco in these kinds of stories.

The end with Draco was really impactful. Luckily he's taken joy in witnessing her humiliation so it seems as though we're going to get a lot of drama before we ever end up having them together. I prefer to see the process of them getting together happen in real time rather than skipping ahead. I think you'll handle that well down the line. You handled Hermione's emotions really well so far. We got a good look inside of her head and you laid her state of mind on full display. Really well done as far as pacing and characterization. I can't wait to see where the rest of the plot goes. Thank you for the swap!

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Review #75, by apondinabluebox chapter one

15th September 2014:
Erica!! I'd like to profusely apologise for the delay in getting to this review -- things just keep cropping up, sadly. Nevertheless, I'm here now! ^.^

I was pleasantly surprised that this was set in their sixth year, since personally, I'm not a fan of Ron-cheats-on-Hermione-with-Lavender fics, but this is a good way to establish your Dramione when they're still at school. Bonus points for this! :) This is also the first story I've ever read that's written from Hermione's POV in first person and I have to say, I think you have her down. You show how she analyses everything, like Lavender when she's kissing Ron, herself when she enters the Room and that mysterious sound (which we later discover is Draco).

The pacing of your prose too is good. There's plenty of explanation for the reader to understand what's going on and how Hermione's feeling, but not so much that it overwhelms the plot. I loved that moment when Ron hesitated to leave Hermione when she was crying; it says quite a lot about him. Emotional range of a teaspoon or not, he clearly cares about his best friend.

I noticed a couple of typos you may want to fix: early in the chapter, you misspell Professor Trelawney's name as Trelawny. And in the last line, "Hello, Granger." Malfoy smirked, there should be a comma after Granger, since you go on to describe how he says the words.

Overall, I'm really pleased with this chapter. Your ending has impact and the plot so far is definitely good. The chapter flows well, too; I didn't read this pre-edits, so I can't say how much it's improved, but the result is definitely great!

If you'd like to continue swapping for the rest of the chapters, I would be more than happy to! ^.^ Once again, sorry for the lateness!

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