Reading Reviews for Life As We Know It
326 Reviews Found

Review #26, by aurevoir chapter seventeen

8th April 2015:



*prances like a nervous deer*

omg. need more. need know. I like this characterization of them, because it seems like something that could have realistically happened because we all know he does have goodness deep down inside him.

I hope you update soon dear ♥


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Review #27, by bittersweetflames chapter two

5th April 2015:
Ok, Erica, chapter 2 and if I'm right... this story's 300th review! WOO! :D

Ok, so, this was brilliantly handled! The start, with the Hermione and Malfoy confrontation was just beautiful and perfect because Malfoy was as vile and disgusting as you would expect him to be towards Hermione BUT when you allowed us to see beneath him, to see that, maybe, he is suffering as well then you feel sorry for him and, like Hermione, there's a burning curiosity to know how he feels and what he thinks.

The part with Harry and Hermione was gorgeous as well. I stand by my conviction that Harry and Hermione make better best friends but that's just my bias, I suppose. haha Anyway, misery love company and for it to be between these two? Two well-known names in Hogwarts then you see that everyone goes through aches and pains and that's ok. :)

Love that little bit of Sarah and Lisa you put in there and I can't wait to read the next chapters. :)


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Review #28, by bittersweetflames chapter one

5th April 2015:
Ok, Erica. :D Here to read and review as I promised yesterday. :D

So, my heart breaks for Hermione because I know exactly what it's like to be in her place -- to be discarded, to be the one made fun of for being different. And I just wanted to kick Ron (somewhere very very painful) for being so inconsiderate and insensitive but he IS a teenage boy and they're not particularly known for being sensitive, are they?

The part at the end with the Ron-Hermione-Lavender scene was exceptionally done in my opinion! :) Then you add in the bit with Malfoy at the end and it took all my self-control to write this review instead of clicking 'Next'. Anyway, you know that I share your passion for Dramione so I will just gush and go read the next chapter because, well, I want to read more.

Much love,

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Review #29, by wolfgirl17 chapter seventeen

3rd April 2015:
Hey Erica!

What are the chances of getting an update on this fic? I know you're of course super busy right now with NaNo, and that I gave you that plunny for the Wandmakers Apprenticeship, plus those other Plunnies that our other lovely forum-goers gave you, but I would also love to see an update for this one if you've got the time. =)


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Review #30, by LadyL8 chapter three

26th March 2015:
Hi again. So I’m back for my fourth and last review (at least for now).

First I just want to say that I really enjoy reading your story. It has me at the edge of my seat, and I’m really excited to see where it goes. And I loved this chapter as well.

I think my favourite part of this chapter is Hermione’s dialog in the beginning. It’s almost like she’s arguing with herself about Ron and Lavender, and how to go about it. And she does overthink a little, but that’s what I imagine Hermione would do. I’m mean, she is a bit an over-thinker, isn’t she? So it’s definitely very in-character and believable.

And I also like that she wakes up thinking about Ron and Lavender and not Draco. I definitely believe that her - being in love with Ron - would worry more about their kiss than Draco showing a different side. And I forgot to mention this in the last review, so I’ll throw it in here. I love the contrast between Hermione and Lavender - Hermione having a neat bed but a slightly «messy» life, and Lavender having a messy bed but a slightly more «neat» life.

And also, I can definitely see Hermione’s point about it being hard when you share a dorm with the very person you want to avoid - it makes it very difficult to forget or get over your feelings, when you can’t get away from the person that reminds you of it - the person that stands in the way of you being happy and very much in love with your crush. And especially when the person is like Lavender, bragging about their relationship and showing no regard to Hermione’s feeling.

And then there’s Ron. I really think your portrayal of him is realistic. Like how he attempts to be civil, but she just ignores him and talks to Harry instead. And then Ron - being as dense as he always is - does not understand what he did to make Hermione so angry, and he’s kind of ignoring Lavender - which I liked (partly because I hate Lavender, partly because it’s very believable of him to act like that).

And then there’s Draco. He too is very in-character (you’re not secretly J. K Rowling are you? :P ). I like how he’s instantly mean to Hermione, and you can kind of tell he’s only so because…
1) Pansy is there
2) He kind of feels obligated to act so, because of blood status and family name
And I think Pansy will bring something new and (hopefully) interesting to the story. I’ve always hated Pansy, so I really look forward to seeing if you will change my opinion of her or amplify it. But either way, I’m really looking excited to see what will happen next, and how in the world these two characters end up together (considering they are so hostile now).

Still in love with the story, so I’ll probably be back after I’ve left all my anniversary reviews

- Lotte
(And sorry for the rambling. I always do that when I'm excited about something)

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Review #31, by LadyL8 chapter two

26th March 2015:
Hello again. I’m here with my third review

I really liked this chapter. And here’s why:

Draco is very believable. Initially he is his normal arrogant (some would say cruel) self. And the way he mocks Hermione is definitely realistic. He’s basically the guy I don’t like in the books, but that I’ve always believed is a facade/mask for the guy underneath. And I think it’s very in-character that he’d want to keep his visit a secret (wether it’s because he’s doing his work for Voldemort and doesn’t want to be discovered, or because he’s trying to be alone as it seems like he’s doing in this story).

But then Hermione sees a glimpse of the guy I’ve always thought is underneath that facade - the guy that is living under pressure because of his family name, and that I imagine really doesn’t want to be a death eater. In the books, Harry gets a glimpse of this side of Draco in the bathroom, and I find it really interesting to see how different Hermione (and Draco) reacts when she’s the one who gets a glimpse of this side.

And I like how Hermione can see the similarities between Harry and Draco - both feeling alone, living under an immense pressure (a different kind, but a pressure none the less). And they’re both just trying to live up to the expectations. The difference really lies in what these expectations are, and the people they have around them. While Harry has good friends and kind of a family (Sirius and the Wealseys), Draco is more alone - his friends and family not really helping him in terms of dealing with the pressure of his family name and blood status. And I’ve never really thought that much about these similarities before, but I definitely do now.

I also LOVE the scene between Harry and Hermione. It’s just the perfect friendship scene - them bonding even more because of their unrequited love for a friend, and understanding each others misery over seeing that friend with another. And I absolutely love that Hermione admits she’s almost a bit happy about the fact that Harry is in the same boat, because it - on some level - makes her feel slightly less alone. And I can see that happening, and I can definitely relate to it. I myself have often wished friends where in the same boat as me when bad things happen - even though I don’t really want that either, because they are my friends after all. It just feels better to have someone to feel miserable with, I suppose.

Anyway, the last scene is definitely my favourite scene so far. I just found myself wanting to read Harry/Hermione friendship stories, because it really shows how close the two of them are.

And - like I said in the beginning of the review - I like this chapter. It’s really good. Usually I’m not that into stories having a slow pace, but I feel like it’s necessary for this story. While Draco and Hermione is a good pairing, they are very different from each other (or so they appears to be in the book). But as you’ve slowly started to reveal, they do have their similarities. And I’m thinking these similarities will be very important in order for them to bond and eventually fall in love. And seeing as Draco’s been horrible to Hermione for the last five years of her life, I do believe it will take time for her to open up to him and fall in love. And for him to open up to her. So I actually like the slow pace here.

As you can tell, I’m really into the story now. My plan is to leave 4 reviews (because I’m closing in on my 4 year anniversary on HPFF) for everyone that participated in the review hot seat, but I’ll probably come back after I’ve done that. Because I think I’m hooked on this story.

- Lotte

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Review #32, by LadyL8 chapter one

26th March 2015:
Hi There. I’m back for review number 2.

First I just have to say that I love Dramione. I have loved that ship ever since I watched A Very Potter Musical, and I couldn’t stop hoping Draco would end up with Hermione. So this story is right up my alley!

And I really like that the story starts canon. And Ron and Lavender kissing is really the perfect place to start, because it’s the first moment where you really start doubting they’ll (Hermione and Ron) ever get together. And since you plan on having her with Draco (I assume), it really is clever to start there.

The beginning of the story is really the best part. You’re very good a writing about heartache and unrequited love. And I definitely feel for Hermione, and find myself wondering why in the world Ron and Lavender have to flaunt their love for everyone to see - why can’t they be more considerate of Hermione’s feelings? And I think Hermione is such a relatable character - myself being the kind of geeky/nerdy girl that always answer questions in class - so I just can’t help but feel for her. And especially in the part where she wonders if she’ll always be alone, because I remember I used to think the same when I was 16 years old (and now, but in a positive light. I love being single!).

And teenage girls do have a tendency to overthink - believing that if one guy doesn’t want them, no one ever will. And worrying too much about what’s to come (but obviously every one’s not like that). So I think it’s definitely believable.

And you’re description is really good. I can practically see Hermione in the RoR, dragging her hand across the rough stone walls. And feeling hurt when Ron and Lavender show up, since she was trying to get away from them.

I never really liked how Ron treated Hermione when he started dating Lavender. It almost seemed like he didn’t get that she liked him, and I can’t really imagine him being that dense (and I’m pretty dense myself). So I like that he’s more Ron in your story (which is such a weird thing to say, because you’d imagine the book would have him more Ron), in the sense that he actually seems to realize something’s going on (but maybe not what). And that you can clearly see that he’s torn between his feelings for Lavender (if he likes her and it’s not just for popularity or the fact that she was the first one to clearly show interest in him) and his friendship with Hermione.

And I absolutely loved the ending. I can’t imagine how humiliated I’d feel if my sort-of-enemy (not that I have one) had seen me break down because my best friend was dating another girl. But I’d definitely not feel any better if he’d been smirking like Draco is (which - by the way - was so in-character). So I definitely look forward to seeing how Hermione will react to this, and what will happen with the HP plot now that you’ve changed things starting from a canon scene.

Anyway, I loved the chapter as you can probably tell. And I’ll definitely go straight to the next, and leave (at least) two more reviews.

- Lotte

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Review #33, by Aphoride chapter one

22nd March 2015:
Hey there, Erica! :) First of all, thank you so so much for the swap, it was amazing! And secondly, I should warn you, I'm not a huge Dramione fan, if I'm honest, and I haven't read any Dramione in years, but I've heard good things about yours before, so I'm sure it'll be good ;)

I love how you've set this during the sixth year, when Ron was with Lavender - it gets Ron out of the way, so to speak, for Hermione and Draco to get together, without anything horrible happening. It's such a great way of dealing with it - so much better than other ways people find, the more cliche ways.

I love as well how you've characterised Hermione - how she's so infatuated with Ron and has been for so long, and was almost half-convinced something was going to happen, only for him to then go off with Lavender instead. It's such a sad moment, you know, because it's such a real thing, so true to life and I'm sure most people have experienced something like it, even if not to that extent. I know I have. So sad - poor Hermione! :(

I love as well how you've characterised Ron - how you've very carefully avoided the stereotypical jerk!Ron presentation (which I'm so so glad for, because, tbh, I can't stand stories which do that with Ron, whatever era they're set in!), and how he almost goes over to her, how his eyes soften and then he goes back - it sort of seems to me that he doesn't really know what to do, you know? Which really just makes it all the more sad. Like, it gives this beautiful feeling of a wedge between them and sort of growing, even if neither of them - especially Ron - necessarily understands why it's there, you know?

Also, I just have to mention that I love how biased Hermione's pov is on Lavender. It's perfect, you know, because it shows this lovely, harsh, unforgiving side of Hermione a lot of people often forget, and unreliable narrators, or snippets of it, are always so so good and I love reading them.

Your Lavender is so great, too - pretty much exactly as she is in canon - a bit flighty and giggly and girly and the little mention of the Diviniation thing just rounded it all off so so well :P

Your writing in this was so so good, too - I loved the way the voice actually sounded like Hermione, you know, and was so reminiscent of her in canon. I loved how you had the 'books and cleverness' phrase into it, too - I don't know if it was intentional or not, but either way it was so good! Your description is so lovely, too - especially the bits where you talk about Hermione's feelings, and the phsysical bits, with the expressions and the actions. It's such simple stuff, but it's so evocative and so realistic, and paints the image of it all so, so well.

The whole bit with Draco hiding in the corners was so well done, too - I was so curious about who it was (well, tbh, I guessed, but you always wait for the reveal, you know? :P) and what was going to happen when she found out, and I loved how he seemed to have enjoyed watching her get so upset. It's such a Draco reaction!

This was such a brilliant opening, so true to all of the characters, and I loved the cliffhanger at the end as well - so cheeky ;) I'm so sorry this review probably doesn't match up to the one you left me, but, really, I can't find any more ways to say 'I really liked this' :P

Aph xx

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Review #34, by Veritaserum27 chapter five

18th February 2015:
Hi Erica!

I know it's been ages since I've left you a review on this story - but I'm back!

I really enjoyed this chapter as told from Hermione's point of view. I liked her thought process of how she chose Cormac because he would sufficiently annoy Ron - and then almost instantly regretted it. Haha - she had to spend the entire night mapping out her moves and predicting what sneaky plans Cormac had for her. I was looking forward to hearing her tell Slughorn off for using the House elves to do his decorating, but you stayed true to canon and Hermione was distracted enough to hold her tongue.

Haha - it was satisfying to read that Cormac was stuck under the mistletoe - at least for a little while.

Great job with Harry's characterization as well. He's bound and determined to find out what Malfoy is up to - even if it means running after him during the Christmas party.

Nice chapter! Off to the next!

♥ Beth

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Review #35, by TreacleTart chapter six

10th February 2015:
Hi SlytherinChica08,

So far the way you have edited your story is good. The plot moves along at a nice leisurely pace, leaving the reader time to adjust to the changes Hermione is feeling towards Draco. Instead of succumbing to the "love at first sight" syndrome that a lot of Dramione falls under, you are doing a great job of allowing it to develop at a much more natural pace. I'm excited to see how you will finally bring them together, since at this point, Draco seems to still dislike Hermione quite a bit.

In this chapter, I really liked finding out that Pansy believes that Hermione and Draco are having an affair. I also appreciated that every time Hermione tries to defend herself, she only makes the situation worse. She keeps seeming to wind up at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Good work! Looking forward to chapter 7!


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Review #36, by TreacleTart chapter five

10th February 2015:
I think this was my favorite chapter so far. You managed to follow along with canon, but keep it fresh and interesting. You showed the cunning, clever side of Hermione.

Again, I noticed a few minor things where Cormac said something that didn't fit his demographic. He says "my uncle Tiberius told me about the parties you threw back in the day." Maybe rephrase it. To me " back in the day" seems very American sounding.

Otherwise, another solid chapter. I am enjoying it so far.


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Review #37, by TreacleTart chapter four

10th February 2015:
Four chapters down and the story is still progressing nicely. Your description of Hogsmeade at Christmas was beautiful. I could see it in my head as I read it.

I really enjoyed the addition of Mr. Bleakly and his personal moment with Hermione. I thought he came off like a kind old grandfather telling a story about the good old days.

I did notice one thing and it's relatively minor, but I thought it was distracting none the less. During the part where Mr. Bleakly is telling his story, he says "We spent the rest of the day hanging out under the tree." It sounds off to me because it hanging out sounds more like something a young person would say. It also sounds very American to me instead of English.

Otherwise. I liked this chapter and am happy to see you breaking away from the original story a bit more.


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Review #38, by TreacleTart chapter three

8th February 2015:
Hi SlytherinChica08,

I've just finished reading chapter 3 and like your previous chapters, I enjoyed this one. You do an excellent job of keeping the characters close to cannon. The way the dynamic between Draco and Hermione is progressing is just right.

I am also enjoying the way you've characterized Ron. I like that you've had him attempt to be cordial with Hermione and that she shuts down each and every attempt.

For the most part, I think you are doing a great job of portraying Hermione. I think the first part of this chapter where we see her insecurity for a moment and then she decides she's being silly is very well done. At moments I do find her thoughts to be a bit long winded, but overall, I think you're hitting the nail on the head.


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Review #39, by TreacleTart chapter two

8th February 2015:
I just finished chapter two and I liked it, but I have a few minor critiques to offer.

I found Draco's speech to be a bit stilted. While I enjoy his arrogance, I just couldn't help, but think that he could sound less forced.

Also, the part about Hermione crying for Malfoy does not seem authentic to Hermione's character. If anything, I feel she would've been much more suspicious of him and hardly sympathetic at all.

I thought the addition of Sarah and Lisa was interesting and am looking forward to seeing where they tie into the story.

I really enjoyed the dynamic between Harry and Hermione. That seemed very easy and relaxed.

You also do a great job of making the reader feel what your character is feeling. Kudos for that because it's hard to do.


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Review #40, by TreacleTart chapter one

8th February 2015:
Hi there SlytherinChica08,

I enjoyed the first chapter. It flows very naturally and the interactions between the characters seemed realistic. I really liked how you introduced Draco into the story. Allowing him to accidentally witness Hermione's moment of weakness was perfect.

I also appreciate that the story is told from Hermione's perspective. It adds a nice layer to the story.

I'm very much looking forward to reading the rest!


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Review #41, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter four

21st January 2015:
I just love your characterization of Hermione in this. There's so many details about her, from her appreciation of the books Mr. Bleakly gives her to her thirst for knowledge and inability to understand why she can't think her way out of her emotions... based on what we know from the series, all of those things are true, and I love the way you portray that.

The story about Mr. Bleakly's wife was so sad, and it made me want to cry that he was starting to give away his possessions to "join her".

And Ah ha! So Pansy IS hounding Draco about what happened. But I can't believe Ron/Lavender started that rumor about Hermione! I'm so mad at both of them right now!!

Another intriguing chapter dear, and off to the next!

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Review #42, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter three

21st January 2015:
I can't believe it... tell me he did NOT tell her secret! Ugh! But at least he got what was coming to him, right? :P

It was so sad to read Hermione, telling herself that it had all been a mistake and that Ron would come apologize... she perked up so much just at that thought, it really was heartbreaking.

Another wonderful chapter, and I'm off to the next!

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Review #43, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter two

21st January 2015:
Whew! It's certainly a relief that Malfoy doesn't want anyone to know what happened in the RoR, either. I can't imagine Hermione's humiliation if anyone had found out!

I really liked the statement that Harry and Draco aren't as different as they seem, because they really aren't, and of course Hermione would be able to see that. And the moment with Harry and Hermione on the couch was touching and tells a great deal about their friendship.

It's so sad to hear Hermione talking about not being understood in her thirst for knowledge. I hope she finds someone who understands that soon, too.

Another great chapter!

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Review #44, by MrsJaydeMalfoy chapter one

21st January 2015:
Hi Erica! Happy (VERY belated) Hot seat day(s)! I'm so sorry I didn't get here during the first 2 rounds, but I promised myself I was going to try to make up for that in the 3rd.

This was a really heartbreaking chapter - I felt SO sorry for Hermione, and even worse after the smirk on Draco's face. I think this was an excellent way to begin a Dramione - with everything changing on the day that Ron and Lavender started kissing. I also really liked Hermione's description of Lavender as a "mess" and "unorganized"... the fact that Hermione considers those things to be negative says a lot about her, and it's so true to her character. It was so sad when Hermione was wishing she was Lavender, that really broke my heart.

I'm very curious as to what Draco will say, and what will happen next. Great introductory chapter, and I'm off to the next!

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Review #45, by Freda_and_Georgina chapter four

17th January 2015:
You should just write a story about Mr. Bleaky and Helen. I love how you have Hermione listen to his story and him being so willing to tell it, especially with all those details! I realize this chapter isn't all the Bleaky's relationship, but it's so sweet I can hardly see around it! (But the other parts were amazing, by the way)

All in all, it was a sweet chapter, especially Mr. Bleaky (in case you haven't noticed, I love him)

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Review #46, by likeness_of_a_seabird chapter one

17th January 2015:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review, round three!

I really liked the beginning! Hermione’s hurt was so palpable I wanted to shake both Ron and Lavender and tell them to be a little more considerate of other people. I get that they are supposed to be madly in love but enough is enough. I also liked that because they’ve lived in the same dorm for years, Hermione recognises that Lavender’s infatuation with Ron is probably only temporary.

It was so sad that she thought she might have to be alone for the rest of her life because no one seems to recognise her desire to learn and mock her for it instead. I really liked the line “Books and cleverness was one thing, but in the end, that’s all that they were” because that’s what she says to Harry at the end of the Philosopher’s Stone. I’m glad you included that line because that’s one of Hermione’s defining characteristics: she’s clever and she loves books but there’s so much more to her as well.

Oh dear, Ron and Lavender have arrived. It was a bit rude of Ron to not leave immediately, I thought. At least he could have apologised. I wouldn’t have blamed Hermione if she had hexed him; he and Lavender both kind of deserves it…

And Malfoy was there, and he saw the whole thing. Dear, oh dear, this really isn’t Hermione’s day, is it?

Great first chapter, I can’t wait to see what’s happening next!

- Emmi

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Review #47, by Pheonix Potioneer chapter one

16th January 2015:
Hello! Here for the Hufflepuff Hot Seat review!

What??? Malfoy saw Hermione crying? Oh, that's got to be bad... Malfoy may have been preoccupied this year, but even he couldn't miss out on a golden opportunity to make Hermione's life hell.

You do a terrific job demonstrating Hermione being heartbroken- such a beautiful piece. And I love Ron's little gesture with his hands, and his eyes looking "soft"- I can picture him so well, feeling kind of sorry for her, but at the same time wanting to snog Lavender.

Somehow I don't think Malfoy will do anything bad... seeming how I'm pretty sure this is a Dramione fic. Or maybe he will insult her, and then apologize later or something? IDK.

Brilliant first chapter- this gets straight to the action.

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Review #48, by Very Secret Santa chapter four

30th December 2014:
While I don’t know what the next chapter will be like, and how big the gap was, I am very happy that you chose to add this chapter.

It is so impressive how much thought you put into your minor characters and background story. The story of Mr. Bleakly really was touching!

Also, it is amazing to see Hogsmeade through the eyes of Hermione. We know that when they first went there in their third year, she checked out all the historical places and even though Harry never visits more than the Pubs and Zonko’s it was refreshing to see what Hermione would do on a Hogsmeade weekend.

Plus, i can’t stop being amazed at how well you fill her character with her own thoughts and life and a past and a family and what-not. I know, I know, I mentioned this in every review so far - but I really think it can’t be said often enough! The Dobby for the best wielding of Canon Character was very much deserved. The part, where she plans out her shopping tour was just perfect! I also smiled when she mentioned loving buying presents for her friends - and then thought about the planners she bought Harry and Ron in fourth year, that would keep telling them to get their stuff done!

It’s curious that Pansy apparently doesn’t know anything about Draco’s business. I couldn’t help but wonder, if this was the one visit at Hogsmeade where Draco Imperiused Katie - or was it the one before...?

What I do like about your story, is that it is very realistic in its development. There is no sudden making out with Draco or incredible, out-of-the-blue attraction to him so far. But they do keep running in to each other! Nicely done.

Again, just a few small details, that I hope you won’t mind me mentioning:

“I would have to go it alone today” - I think it is meant to be “to DO it alone”

“It was lightly snowing” If I\'m not wrong it’s “It was snowing lightly”

“Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop was just up again” – I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean. Is it that it’s just ahead of her? Or maybe that it’d just opened?

Looking forward to more!

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Review #49, by Very Secret Santa chapter three

30th December 2014:
Again, I am amazed at how well you follow the inner thoughts of Hermione. You entwined her every-day life and all that’s happening in Hogwarts cleverly with her thoughts.

Even though seeing Draco the day before had clearly occupied her mind a lot, she wakes up and all she can think of is Ron. I liked that a lot, because clearly this would have a deeper impact on her.

But then towards the end of the chapter, we get some Malfoy-time again and it adds to the suspense. What are him and Pansy planning, and what was he telling her? Pansy is another intriguing character and I cannot wait to see what you will do to her (and Draco)...

I also feel - and maybe that’s only a feeling - that you wrote this chapter more carefully. It seems well thought-through and has a more delicate choice of words, even though it is somewhat a “filler”.

I noticed that commas are misplaced on some occasions, maybe you could have a look at that sometime. Also just very small things that caught my eye:

“and rubbed at my puffy eyes.” - which, I think, should be “rubbed my puffy eyes”, without “at”

“Ron would be the dominate one” - dominant

“he had taken her to the same room I had run off too” - had run off to(, too)

“Ron and Neville both deep in thought about their next movements.” I think in games it would be called just “moves”, not movements

“and just merely thinking about it set me on edge.” - and here I guess either just or merely would suffice.

Otherwise another wonderful chapter!

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Review #50, by Very Secret Santa chapter two

30th December 2014:
Hola again!

What a nice second chapter. Again, I really appreciate the slow pace you are taking with this story. It gives the reader time to let themselves fall into your world.

What was probably most interesting in this chapter, is that Hermione in your story and Harry in the books both get to see the vulnerable Draco that clearly has some problems. But here we see, how different a reaction that can evoke from people depending on their personality and circumstances.

Your insight into Hermione’s thoughts really fit of what JKR describes: She’s empathetic and wants to know the reasons and motivation behind people’s behaviour.

I am wondering now if Draco was there in the Room of Requirement because of his plan with the vanishing cabinet – and “hiding oneself” means the same to the room as “hiding something” – or if he was there to be alone, just as he later does with Myrtle…?

The additional roommates of Hermione’s are a very good addition, too. In general, the life Hermione leads besides what we know is always a bit of a mystery, so I always love to read the details authors come up with. Overall you do a great job with putting yourself in the spot of your characters.

As for CC, I would maybe go over the text again regarding expressions and some minor grammar stuff. It isn’t bothersome at all, your story is still great to read, but if you plan on reediting it again you might want to think about it. Maybe I should mention that I’m very far from being a grammar-whiz so my greatest apologies if I suggest corrections of things that are actually correct! :o

Concerning expressions:

“There had to be something going on that I couldn’t place” – this expression implies, imo, that you noticed something (an action, a detail) but cannot decide for the context; not that you have nothing but a vague idea that something’s off.

“And that’s when I noticed it, the slight pink of his grey eyes, telling me the truth.” – I got a bit confused here, because I never heard of pink eyes before. It becomes clearer toward the end of the chapter, when you explain that he does in fact have pink spots in his eyes, but maybe you could write it here too?

“just the sound of shredding paper connecting us.” – I thought another expression might be better, since you describe very well how Hermione feels connected to him because they both go through the same heart-break. So actually, it is more than just shredding paper connecting them, but maybe the paper is forming a silent conversation? Or something like that ;)

“though hers was contained to just a small portion of her bed.” – I thought about it a bit, and maybe it’s just me being a little bit slow again (in that case – sorry!) but I just couldn’t get what this sentence is supposed to mean :(

“even my nightstand was placed exactly so, making sure” this is a little bit awkward, so maybe you could say “, so that ..[explanation]”

As for orthography / grammar etc.:

“...even though really I didn’t care.” I believe here there should either be commas added, or the word order changed to “I really didn’t”

“For the words that he said, the agony behind his eyes…” Maybe in accordance with the following sentence this should also be written in past perfect!

“They were preoccupied on a certain blonde” – preoccupied with sth.

“as Dean had kissed Ginny not too long after Ron and Lavender disappeared” – had disappeared

“and as bad as it may have seemed, I was kind of glad..” – as bad as it may seem (otherwise it’d be something that has happened before)

“loves cruel sting” – apostrophe “love’s cruel sting”

I hope you don't mind my nitpicking - gread read!

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