Reading Reviews for Life As We Know It
  
271 Reviews Found

Review #26, by mymischiefmanaged chapter one

11th September 2014:
Hiya!

I really enjoyed this. I'm not usually that keen on Dramione but yours is really well written and I can see that I'm going to like it.

Starting this off with Ron and Lavender is a really good idea. It opens up the opportunity for Hermione to explain her feelings in away that feels natural, rather than a rushed explanation of the situation. Hermione's harsh character assessment of Lavender was impressive too. It's a slightly crueller side of Hermione than the one we see through Harry's eyes, but fits in with how observant she is.

I love Hermione taking to the room of requirement for solitude. It's such a good use of the room, and says lots about her character that she chooses to be by herself where nobody's going to find her rather than to seek out somebody to talk to.

Just a little thing, I think you might want to change Hermione's wording a little bit if Ron and Lavender are going to interrupt her in the room. I'm pretty sure if she said she needed to be by herself the room would make sure she'd be able to stay by herself and would block other people out like it blocked out Harry when he was looking for Malfoy. If you want her to be interrupted she maybe shouldn't directly ask the room to give her somewhere to be alone.

You do a really good job of writing Ron's hesitance to leave Hermione. I'm glad you didn't undermine their friendship by having him rush to follow Lavender, but I can see how in some ways this would be more hurtful for Hermione. Lavender's careless comments reveal a lot about her own personality as well, and I'm interested to see if you develop this side of her further.

And Malfoy was there all along! That revelation was just the right level of plot twist, and you wrote it really well. I'm interested to see what happens next. By the looks of things your Malfoy isn't going to have a change of heart very soon, but maybe your chapter two will prove me wrong.

This is a wonderful first chapter. I'm really looking forward to reading on.

Emma xx

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Review #27, by Yoshi_Kitten chapter one

11th September 2014:
Hello! RoxiMalfoy from the forums here to begin out review-swap!! And I must say that this was such an excellent first chapter!! =)

Okay, so right off the bat, I love that this is in Hermione's perspective. Honestly, I don't think I've really read much from her POV before, so this is a refreshing change already. You have really seemed to capture her inner-voice quite well. She is clearly jealous of Lavender, and you did a great job capturing that. I really liked when you went into detail about Lavender being so unorganized, and what she said about her favorite class being Divination made me laugh. I love the contrast that you have created between these two girls. They are complete opposites, and you have done a remarkable job at demonstrating this! (:

I felt so heartbroken for Hermione though, when she was first entered the room of requirement. You did such an epic job at capturing such raw emotions in this entire chapter, but that part really got to me. This line here was one of my favorites:
Books and cleverness was one thing, but in the end, that's all that they were, just a thing that held no meaning. There was no companionship in them, no comfort, just words. --Right in the feels, lol!! Seriously though, your language in this is just beautiful!

I wasn't expecting this story to start out in their 6th year, but I'm glad it did. I loved reading this part of HBP (though it is slightly different) from Hermione's POV. And I think it's cool how you've shown that there can be more than one person using the room of requirement at once. Was the shimmer she seen there because Draco was using the room as the place where lost things are hidden at before she entered it? Is that why she could not see him at first? You know, I never considered what would happen if two people were using the room for two entirely different things at the same time. This is a very intriguing concept. It would explain how she was able to hear him but not able to physically see him before Ron and Lavender barged in though. I like it.

The beginning of the chapter was perfect, it drew me in right away. And the ending was amazing also, as it definitely has me wanting to read more now. I love your writing style already and I cannot wait to see where you go from here. Clearly Draco and Hermione still hate each other right now, but I cannot wait to see how you go about changing that. And who knows? You might just make a Dramione shipper outta me yet, haha!! =P

Thanks so much for the swap offer. I'll see ya again in the next chapter!
~Deana~

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Review #28, by Lostmyheart chapter eight

9th September 2014:
Hi!

I just saw your name on the review tag thread and thought that this was my opportunity to finally get started with your incredible story again!

I was honestly confused in the beginning, because why on earth would Ron say Romilda's name in the hall? But then when Hermione saw Professor Slughorn and Harry with the unconscious Ron, how could I not see that one coming? Haha. But brilliant detail!
I liked that Draco showed a little decency towards Hermione, even though he did say a few not-so-nice things before (or along the way) but that was expected, so it wasn't a shocker.
I can't wait to read what happens next! Although I have to say that might take a while, unless I take a break from the reviews I owe people, and read a few of yours :b

Anyway, I'll catch up soon!

- Avi

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Review #29, by Veritaserum27 chapter two

30th August 2014:
Hi!

Tagging you from review tag - again!

I love the voice you've given to Hermione. In the books, we only get to see her from Harry's perspective - she's nerdy, a fierce friend and intuitive. But because she's his good friend and a girl to boot, we don't get to see what's going on inside her head. We know she has a crush on Ron and is good at sizing up situations, but there is so much more to her and you've shown us that. Ron and Lavender getting together positively crushed her. That's not something that you get over right away and I'm glad you haven't dismissed it so early in your story. I also like that you're taking the pace of Hermione and Draco really slow. They do hate each other, but this chapter gives us just an inkling of understanding - at least on her part. I think Draco is really in the middle of a mess and it will take him a while to come around.

I also like how curious you've made Hermione. She is always yearning for knowledge and she genuinely can't turn off her brain from trying to figure out what Draco is up to. She moves through the possibilities quickly, and it bugs her when she can't come to a conclusion. So Hermione!

The small scene with Harry was so sweet. They are in the same boat and don't need a lot of words to understand each other. ♥

I also like the way you showed us that Hermione feels a bit of an outcast with the other girls in her year. No one is outright mean to her or intentionally leaving her out, but they are just different than her. Parvati and Lavender are best friends and very similar to each other (a bit boy crazy and into their appearances) and the other pair of girls are either best friends or maybe something more. It makes my heart ache a bit for Hermione, because not having a good friend to share your troubles with just makes them seem a bit of a heavier burden to bear.

Great job with this chapter as well!

Beth

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Review #30, by magnolia_magic chapter one

29th August 2014:
Hi Erica! I'm here from Hufflepuff review tag!

Aw, I liked this! Normally I'm not a Dramione person (and I bet you get super tired of hearing that from people), but I'm open to broadening my horizons a bit. And I've heard good things about this story, so I wanted to take the opportunity to check it out! I loved the way you delved into Hermione's emotions after seeing Ron and Lavender together. I just wanted to go and give her a hug. I know I've been in her shoes, and I'm sure many of your other readers have been as well. You described her humiliation and hurt so strongly; it felt very true-to-life. I know that a lot of readers will be able to relate to your portrayal of her.

I also loved that you brought out some uncertainty in Hermione. She is so often seen as a Strong Female Character--which she is, of course--but that sometimes means we forget that she's a young girl first and foremost. She can't be strong all the time. I think a lot of smart girls feel the way Hermione does here, like their ambition and love of learning might be keeping them from a different kind of life. The grass always looks greener on the other side, especially when your crush is kissing another girl right in front of you. Poor Hermione. It's rough out there sometimes :(

And the way you introduced Draco at the end was great! I like the cliffie, and I can just see his smirky little attitude when he says "Hello, Granger." Ugh. Making him into a likable character will be a tough task, but judging by this opening chapter, it looks like you're up for the challenge! I hope I can make some time to read on soon, because I really enjoyed this chapter. Great job, Erica!

--Maggie

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Review #31, by Veritaserum27 chapter one

28th August 2014:
Hi!

Tagging you from review tag! I really liked this first chapter - and I also appreciated that you put the dates of each update in the chapter titles. A lot of times and author will post in the summary that they are updating the story and you don't know if they just did the first chapter or if they're halfway through and then you get into the story and come to the end of the updates and it doesn't make sense, so thanks for that!

Ok. On to the story. I really liked your portrayal of Hermione. It's a side of her that we don't get to see very often. She is usually so caught up in her studies and keeping Harry and Ron out of trouble that we don't get to see her emotions very often. We know that she has feelings for Ron, but we only get a few glimpses. I love that you didn't take away any of her defining characteristics, just added to them. I an really feel her pain - the pain of a teenage girl in love.

You brought to light the huge contrast between Lavender and Hermione. They really are opposites in terms of personality and character traits. Hermione is neat and organized while Lavender is messy. Hermione is in control of her emotions (on the outside) and Lavender is passionate and dramatic. Hermione seeks knowledge, where Lavender loves to study the ethereal.

I also thought it was really clever how you showed Ron as conflicted. He is being a silly, teenage boy and not thinking clearly during this. It added more depth to the story to know that he isn't completely clueless.

This line:

"Ron," Lavender called from her place in the doorway, "just leave her."

Was so heartbreaking - it had a double meaning and added a sense of finality to Ron and Hermione's potential relationship. Ugh! So sad!

Perfect little cliffhanger at the end - and in just a few words, you also captivated Malfoy's character!

Great first chapter!

Beth

Author's Response: Oh my goodness gracious, this review has just completely made my day! This story is my baby (and don't worry I do promise that I'm still working on the edits and new material) and to see that people are enjoying it and think that I've captured the different characters really well is such a wonderful compliment. Hermione is probably my favorite character to write, I just really love how head strong she is but yet she also has her own flaws. I'm hoping to have the next edit done soon ( I was having a small hiccup with getting the beginning figured out and worded right). Honestly, your review has me so happy and I'm just smiling like a mad women at my computer (which probably seems really strange since I'm at work). Anyways, thank you so much for this fantastic review! I really do hope that you will continue reading through the edits! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #32, by UnluckyStar57 chapter one

11th July 2014:
Hello, lovely! I thought I would stop by and check this out for you. :)

Okay, I'm not really a huge fan of Dramione, but I can understand why people like it. It's a good opportunity to explore antagonism and how being mean to someone can actually hide some deeper, more...affectionate feelings. ;)

I find it interesting that Hermione was going to the Room of Requirement. That's a bit different from the book, but it's not a bad thing. It just means that she has a greater chance of running into Draco Malfoy! It was also an interesting choice to have her refrain from unleashing the yellow canaries of fury on Ronald, but I like how you kept the Quidditch party/Lavender snogging Ron in canon. It's fun to deviate from canon sometimes, so long as the basic groundwork is there. :D

Uh oh... Angsty, smirky Draco comes out of the shadows! What will he say? What will he do? I can't even guess...

Super interesting first chapter! When I have more time, I'll try to read/review some more. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #33, by DracoFerret11 chapter four

8th July 2014:
Hi there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I said I'd get around to reading the new version of this story, so what better time than the House Cup? So, let's go over things:

Brief Comments on Chapter 1: This goes for all the chapters, but I spotted several spelling and grammar issues throughout. Maybe a read-through would help, or perhaps a beta reader. Other than that, though, I don't have much to say about chapter one. I think you fleshed it out quite nicely. I don't completely remember the first version ( XD ), but I like this one quite a bit!

Brief Comments on Chapter 2: Same thing on spelling & grammar, but I'll quit repeating that. I liked the interaction between Draco and Hermione. I thought that was nice and realistic. I didn't like all of Hermione's thoughts about him, though. For one, it seemed a bit odd that she would obsess over him so much -- maybe he just had allergies and wasn't crying at all! And her thoughts about him "not wanting to be a Death Eater" and secretly being a good guy, etc. etc., seemed a bit cliche. It just seemed too early for her to think about that. Which sort of connects to my other issue with this chapter: Hermione obsessing over guys in general. She thinks a lot about how it would feel to be in a relationship, etc., but that seemed a bit out of character to book-Hermione. It was just a bit over-the-top for me.

Brief Comments on Chapter 3: I don't have many thoughts on this chapter, other than that I really liked that you mentioned that Hermione was hoping that Ron had changed his mind about Lavender. That made a lot of sense and I really, really thought it fit with the story and Hermione's characterization. Great job. I wasn't too sure about her corning Draco yet again, but we'll see how things progress. :)


REVIEW FOR THIS CHAPTER:

Grammar/Spelling: Same issues as before!

Plot: Okay! So, this is a new chapter and I like it quite a bit. It was sweet and made sense, and I liked seeing Hermione on a relaxed day of her own. The story about the book shop owner's wife was a little extraneous, but I still liked it. I thought it was cute for him to give her his wife's books, but I almost feel like those books/that man/that scene have to MEAN something later to not just be filler. I also loved the gifts Hermione bought for her parents. Very nice.

Characterization: I think you captured Hermione very well in this chapter. When she's on her own, I can definitely see the canon-Hermione that I recognize. She was quiet and bookish, and I really loved that. Great job. I also, of course, think you pulled off writing Draco and Pansy well here. I haven't written about Pansy in so long that I've practically forgotten she exists.

Descriptions: I liked the details about the weather outside and the gifts Hermione bought for her parents. I could do with more details about the settings, though, and about more than just visual imagery. Remember: sight, sound, touch, taste, smell. Adding more of those in will help a reader to picture the scenes better.

Emotions: I would have liked to see more of Hermione's emotions in this chapter. We briefly get that she's disappointed that she can't be with her friends, but not much else. There's the scene where Mr. Bleakly tells about his wife, and I expected more of a reaction from Hermione, but I didn't really get it.

Interactions: I did, however, love the conversation between Mr. Bleakly and Hermione. It was very sweet and grandfatherly. Good job with your OC and good job with the scene in general. Pansy and Draco's conversation was also very good. I love whenever Draco loses his patience with Pansy though. ;)

Overall, good first few chapters. I'll ask you when five is revised and I'll read it ASAP. Well done and good luck to Hufflepuff in the House Cup!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #34, by Infinityx chapter four

8th July 2014:
HI. I AM HERE NOW.

Wow, this chapter is just a huge bomb of emotion. Why do you do this to my heart? The chapter starts on a happy note when Hermione is thinking about all the shopping she has to do, and then...dun dun dunnn...enters the evil lavender and the gullible Ron. (I was going to use stronger words but 12+) Poor Hermione. When I read the line I had already lost Ron to her, but did I really have to lose Harry too? I cried. I really did. That was such a simple but powerful way of conveying what she was feeling.

I love the way you've described Hogsmeade. The imagery used is just beautiful.

Aw, Mr Bleakly is the sweetest! I love the way he cares about Hermione to the extent that he's giving her his wife's books! And that story. :') SO MUCH FEELS ERICA. That was my favorite part of the story so far and Mr Bleakly is my favorite character now. You should write a story about him!

Yay, Draco and Pansy broke up! It would be cool if you could give a bit more detail on why she began suspecting him. Maybe someone else who had a grudge against Draco or someone who had a crush on Pansy found this to be an opening to break them both up and fed Pansy lies! Okay, my thoughts just ran away from me there.

BUT EXCELLENT WORK WITH THE CHAPTER AND I LOVE THE WAY YOUVE ENDED IT. UPDATE SOON SO THAT I CAN LEAVE ANOTHER GUSHING REVIEW.

~Erin

House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #35, by Lostmyheart chapter seven

7th July 2014:
Hello :D

Hermione's first act of kindness towards Draco! It surprised me, perhaps as much as it surprised herself. But I think it mostly was because of her never-ending curiosity. She just can't help it.

I liked that you've jumped from Christmas to Valentine's Day, it gives this slow feeling to it - that this Draco/Hermione is something that isnt coming easy.

Also, I forgot to add this in my earlier review - the one for the previous chapter: I really liked that you mentioned who didn't like the topics discussed in the cabin, like when they talked about Herbology it wasn't something Ginny liked, etc. And when Hermione started reading her book, only to say something when correcting somebody (you're quite clever with this detail) it made me wonder if it annoyed all of them. Hehe.

I'll go on, chapter eight is waiting!

- Avi

For the HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW - EVENT 5

Author's Response: I believe that Hermione is really a good person and that she doesn't really have a bad bone in her body unless provoked. This huge gap between these two chapters time wise is actually something that I don't like I think that it makes the story feel a bit choppier than I would like and so this is one thing that I'm resolving this time around. I'm adding in at least 2 maybe 3 new chapters between chapter six and this chapter seven just to try and close the gap and really build up more to the dramione aspects of the story rather than just kinda kick them out the door. But I'm glad that you liked it!

thank you so much for yet another wonderful review! I can't wait to see what you think of the rest of the story!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #36, by Lostmyheart chapter six

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

I've reached chapter six, and I still like how this story is progressing.
I laughed a bit, when Hermione followed Draco and when she bumped into him she just said 'oh' and turned around. I mean, what? Haha :D That was so adorable, here she is, the school's most clever girl and all she says is 'oh' and turns around, trying to pretend it wasn't that big of a deal.
I also liked that she didn't know where she was. It just showed that Hogwarts is a big castle, and even after so many years, it's still not easy to know where you are and that you haven't been able to see all of it yet. It may also stick to her character, as she's that kind of a person that likes routines and just goes to classes, the common room and the library - no need to go anywhere else.

I sense a Neville/Luna romance coming up. It was a sweet detail when you mentioned Neville looking at Luna, even when she wasn't talking. I liked that :)

Now I'm off to the seventh chapter! And I'm probbaly going to bombard you with several reviews during this event and after it :)

- Avi

For the HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW - EVENT 5

Author's Response: So the scene with Draco and Hermione has now changed in this update, trying to make it a bit more realistic so that its not just a random moment that she suddenly decides to follow him, but that there is more of a reason behind it. But I am glad that you liked the section that I had between the two and found it enjoyable. Yeah I'm definitely a sucker for Neville/Luna, I just think that they are so cute together and I don't care that Neville is supposed to be with Susan for me it will always be Luna, even though I have ideas for a Neville/Susan short story.

These reviews that you have left for this story are absolutely wonderful and have really made my day! The fact that you are taking the time to read and review each chapter is really amazing and its really cool see your responses to each chapter! Thank you so much for taking the time out to do that!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #37, by Lostmyheart chapter five

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

This was a shorter chapter then the previous ones, or at least it felt like it. I didn't read the word count before I clicked it.

I've always liked the detail about magic mistletoes, where you can't get away from it unless you get kissed. So I loved it when you put Cormac under it! It was a quite funny situation, and I wonder who would kiss him just to free him.

He did seem rather aggressive to Hermione, which always had me wondering why. Because she obviously wasn't very interested in him, even in the books.
Btw, I really like that you stick to certain scenes from the book, and play your own story from it.

I can't wait to read the rest! :)

- Avi

For the HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW - EVENT 5

Author's Response: Thanks for another wonderful review! I'm really glad that you are liking this story and the fact that I'm sticking pretty close to canon events but just spinning my own story around that! That's what a lot of this story is going to be like. A lot of events that are going to play out in this story will be based in canon but then branch off on its own to have different twists. I'm really glad that you are enjoying this story and leaving all these wonderful reviews for me! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #38, by Lostmyheart chapter four

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

What an interesting development... I knew that it would end up being a rumor, when Ron said he thought she was seeing someone in the Room of Requirement. I have an idea that maybe Lavender has something to do with this.

I really like how true you stay to Hermione's character, I can imagine it so clearly how she feels about the whole situation, howshe felt that Lavender was the reason to why she was 'loosing' Harry and Ron. Harry of course is in the usual position as always, in between Ron and Hermione whenever they argue. Almost like Schwitzerland (not sure if I spelled that correctly) but yeah, you probably know what I mean.

And I like that even Pansy suddenly suspects that the rumors are true, it kind of shows that Draco has been so shady lately that she's so nervous that a rumor about Hermione seing someone has made her think it's him. Even though she knows he hates mudbloods.

I'll get on to the fifth chapter soon!
I really enjoy your story, I always like Dramione stories that develops over a period of time instead of a spur in the moment (which sometimes can be good too)

- Avi

For the HOUSE CUP 2014 - EVENT 5

Author's Response: I prefer dramiones that have a slow build up as well. I think that its much more realistic when done that way and I really want this story to be as realistic as possible! I'm glad that you liked the development with the rumor and thought that Pansy questioning Draco really showed that he had been acting really shady lately. I'm glad that you are enjoying Hermiones character so far. Thank you so much for another wonderful review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #39, by Lostmyheart chapter three

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

I really like where you're headed with this story. It's slowly building up to something, as Hermione is still questioning what Draco was doing that night.
I felt so bad for her in the beginning of this chapter, how she hoped Ron would apologize for last night, how she imagined he'd regret what he almost did with Lavender. And it almost infuriated me when the first thing he did, was to ask about how her night went. Like what? yes, Ron, just keep rubbing it in her face. Of course he probably did it without meaning it, he just isn't really clever sometimes.

I really enjoyed reading this chapter, and I'll head over to the fourth right now :)

- Avi

For the HOUSE CUP 2014 REVIEW - Event 5

Author's Response: Avi thank you so much for continuing to read and review this story! It really means a lot to me that you continue to come back and read this as well as reviewing each chapter as you go! I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter, and yes you're right, Ron can be a bit dull sometimes. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #40, by HeyMrsPotter chapter four

7th July 2014:
This is most definitely my favourite chapter so far (though we're only 4 in and I think that about all of the chapters so it'll probably change :p)

You have some really beautiful descriptions of Hogsmeade in here, and I particularly loved the parts about the weather and could just picture Hermione pulling her coat up to protect herself from it. The fact that she had such a logical route planned in her head that would mean she would get back to the castle quicker whilst avoiding Ron and Lavender was something she would definitely do. Again, it shows just how well you know Hermione and how perfectly you write her.

Undoubtedly my favourite part of this chapter had to be Mr Bleakly's shop and his adorable story about his wife. For him to give Hermione those books was just so nice of him and it was obvious how much she appreciated that. But naturally the moment wasn't perfect because along came Draco and Pansy to ruin the moment and just be awful. Though it made me happy when he dumped her-muhahaha! (I really hate Pansy!)

Looking forward to see what the new chapter 5 has in store.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Dee this review absolutely has me gushing. As I've said previously I really enjoy writing Hermione and so for you to say that I have her character so well written and true to her is just absolutely amazing and one of the biggest compliments you could give me! To give this chapter a less filler feeling I knew I had to have something else come up while she was there. And to be honest, I wanted to give Hermione a little bit of a break from Ron and Lavender, besides neither of them would show up in the book store. I do have plans for these books to pop up later in the story just to continue making this scene not as much of a filler chapter. Thank you again for another wonderful review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #41, by HeyMrsPotter chapter three

7th July 2014:
Another excellent character, Erica!

What I love most about your story is how good your characterisation of everyone is. Like, in this chapter you've got Ron shovelling his food in, being oblivious to the fact that he might have hurt Hermione's feelings the night before and him then getting it totally wrong as to why she was in the Room of Requirement. Then there's Lavender who is just so obnoxious and annoying!

Hermione's run in with Draco and Pansy was a really great addition to this chapter from the original, poor Hermione walking in on them kissing, just more ammunition for Draco! I'm so pleased she stood her ground with him though. Super chapter, Erica!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: I'm really glad that you liked this chapter Dee! It's really huge to hear you say that you think that my characterizations are really strong especially since I have a rather large cast of characters rotating in and out of the scene. And I'm glad you enjoyed the bit that I added with Hermione walking in on Draco and Pansy. I just wanted to have something else for Draco and another element to the story. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #42, by HeyMrsPotter chapter two

7th July 2014:
Me again :)

Another amazing chapter! I really love the dialogue that you have between Hermione and Malfoy here. She's every bit as sharp tongued as him and it makes for a great first interaction in the story. I like that you still show the difference between them in the fact that Hermione is obviously frustrated with him where he remains cool and collected. I think it really comes across that she doesn't like that he matches her intellectually.

My favourite part in this chapter has to be the bit where Hermione sits with Harry. I love how they both understand how the other is feeling but Harry is unaware that Hermione had figured it out. He's so naive when it comes to romantic feelings and you really show that in that part. And their little nudging each other is just too adorable!

Dee -House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: And another fantastic review from you! I'm so glad that you liked this chapter and thought that the interaction between Draco and Hermione is up to par and shows just how different they are but yes you are right that its different for Hermione to have someone who is her match intellectually. That bit between Harry and Hermione is probably one of my favorites in this chapter as well. It just shows their type of friendship and how friends can be there for each other without really having to say anything. Thank you again for another great review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #43, by HeyMrsPotter chapter one

7th July 2014:
Hi, Erica! Can I just start by saying I'm so happy that I get to help you out with this amazing story :D

The first time I read this chapter, I really liked it, now I've read the updated version and I love it! It really shows how much you've worked on your writing and how far you've come with it.

One of the things I love most is how well you seem to know Hermione, not just her character but her thoughts too. You really make the reader get inside her head and connect with her. Particularly after she sees Ron and Lavender kissing, I really feel her pain.

Speaking of Lavender, I totally adore Hermione's complaints about her, especially the line about her favourite subject being Divination. It rally just enforces the idea that Lavender and Hermione are polar opposites.

The chapter ends in the perfect place and I'm so glad chapter two was already there to read because if not it would drive me crazy!

Brilliant opening chapter to a brilliant story, my dear.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review.

Author's Response: Dee the fact that you are taking on this huge project with me is so amazing and I great appreciate it! I'm so glad that you can see just how far I've come with my writing as that's an amazing compliment. As well as the fact that you think that I know Hermione really well. To me, Hermione is my favorite to write about. I'm not exactly sure what it is about her that I love to write so much but I also feel that I can write her much better than some of the other characters. I'm really glad that you liked this chapter and I look forward to hearing more from you and continuing to work on this project together! Thank you so much!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #44, by Infinityx chapter one

6th July 2014:
Hi! I'm here to review your story. (I would bomb it but I'm waiting for the edits to get done)

I love how you've started the first chapter using a canon event. That held an element of surprise as the Dramiones which I've read, were Post Hogwarts, and had the cliched story of Ron cheating on Hermione, and Draco magically appearing into Hermione's life. Here, when I read about that common room scene, my first thought was 'whoa, not what I expected. How's she going to make this work?' Excellent beginning!

Poor Hermione. I never really understood what she saw in Ron, but it was obvious that she was smitten with him for a long time. I do think that if she'd done something to let him know, they could have gotten together much earlier. Anyway, I'm digressing.

I love the way you've described that steamy moment between Ron and Lavender in an indirect way, through Hermione's thoughts and feelings. The part where Ron extends his hand really touched me, for I thought there was going to be a twist and it would be a happy ending to the chapter. (even though I knew that wouldn't happen). And the final reveal was perfect!

Of course she would enjoy a class that didn't mean anything in life and fell for the sporadic words, or prophesies as she liked to call them, of Professor Trewlany.
It took me a couple of reads to figure out exactly what you were trying to say in this sentence. Maybe you could rephrase it? Like:
Of course she would enjoy a class that didn't mean anything in life and fell for Professor Trelawney's sporadic words, or prophesies as the teacher liked to call them.
There's a repetition of "she" in the way you've phrased the sentence originally, and that could refer to either the Professor or to Lavender, so if you could specify that, it would be clearer. :)

Lovely start hon! I am completely drawn in by this chapter, and really excited to read on, which is surprising because I don't like most Dramiones! Good luck! :)

~Erin

House Cup 2014, Event 5.

Author's Response: Gosh this review is just amazing! Its a huge compliment to hear that even as a non-Dramione lover, you were still able to enjoy this chapter and it made you want to read more of it! I really like the idea of having the dramione start in school, which is sort of how this idea came about. It was between that and the fact that I love dramiones but even to me it seems that most tend to follow the same plot line so I wanted to challenge myself to make a dramione that could happen in the books. So I'm glad that you agree and think that this makes my story interesting! I can see what you are saying about that sentence as well and will definitely take a look into getting that changed around so it will flow a lot better! Thank you so much for this wonderful review and I do hope that you will come back to this story some time.

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #45, by Jackie chapter sixteen

5th July 2014:
I had to go and read the story over again to remember what it was about BUT it was worth it for this update. FINALLY a kiss!!! lol thank you for this update and for the future ones to come.

Author's Response: Well I'm really glad that you came back to this and read it in full again! I'm glad that you enjoyed this update and the kiss that they shared! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #46, by Lululuna chapter one

4th July 2014:
Hello! :)

This is quite interesting so far! I dabble a bit into reading Dramiones, tending to judge them on the quality of the story and not the ship, but I think that so far this seems to fit quite well into canon. I like how the scene is very similar to what happens in HBP, with Hermione's POV and Ron and Lavender, but just shows what could have happened if Hermione happened to go to the Room of requirement rather than an abandoned classroom.

Hermione's feelings of insecurity and loneliness at the beginning were really well written and relatable. The feeling of rejection that she had and her heartbreak over Ron felt realistic, and I could see how this hurt and anger could lead to her and Ron being in that fight for several months. It explains why their relationship was so catastrophic without just brushing it side to make room for Draco to swoop in, so I think you're definitely doing something right with showing why Hermione likes Ron, but also why they're perhaps not right for one another. But I have to say, there was a part of me that wanted Ron and Hermione to run off into the sunset together here, leaving Lavender and Draco behind! :P

Hermione's comments about not finding companionship and comfort in books and her insecurities about being teased felt very realistic as well and I'm glad you wrote it that way. She seems quite in character so far. I thought that Draco did as well: at this point in Hermione's life at least she only sees him as malicious and looking to embarrass her, so I'm glad that he's not rushing in to save her from her emotions, but is up to his old, rude tricks no matter what's going on with him.

I haven't read the pre-edited version of this chapter, but so far the writing feels quite mature and concentrating on Hermione's emotions in a strong and realistic way. If I could offer any constructive comments, it does feel like there is some repetition, especially when Hermione keeps thinking about how she wants to just be alone, so that section could perhaps be tightened up a bit to maximize the impact and the brief hopelessness of the moment. But overall, a very good start that I really enjoyed! :)

Author's Response: Wow this review has just really made my day! I really don't even know what to say to it so please don't mind my rambling. The fact that you aren't usually a big dramione fan but yet you still came around and read and reviewed it! I'm so glad that you felt my characterization of both Hermione and Draco played through really well. In the original edit, I had where Hermione had gone to a random empty classroom but when I did my edits, I really liked the idea of using the RoR being that its going to be a much more private area and Hermione is a girl of logic and all she wants is to be alone. Too bad there are other people who know about the RoR and have made it impossible for her to be alone. Gosh this review really has me gushing and I just don't know what else to say! Thank you so much for coming by and reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #47, by emmacweasley chapter sixteen

3rd July 2014:
i'm here for the review swap! And I'm so, so glad that I am. :) It's amazing to see a dramoine story that fits in with so few tweaks to the canon. It's entirely believable and, honestly, the way you've set things up as of right now things could go either way - either continue being AU or go right back into canon. It's great! I love it. The characterization is nearly spot-on, the attention to canon detail is amazing, and the romantic tension between draco and hermione had a great build-up. Nothing was too sudden or out of place, and I LOVED their first kiss. It was just so great. Good job! I can't wait for the rest. :)

Author's Response: This review has honestly made my day! I'm trying so hard with this story to stick pretty close to canon with only changing a few events as needed to add in the dramione aspects. So to hear that you think this story fits in well with canon events is a huge compliment! To be honest, I hadn't planned on them sharing their first kiss until the war came about, but then when I wrote this part of the story, it really seemed to just fit in to me so I'm really glad that I added it here! I'm so glad that you have enjoyed this story and I do hope that you will come back and read more of it! Thanks so much for this wonderful review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #48, by Lostmyheart chapter two

3rd July 2014:
Hi again :)

Just like the previous chapter, I loved reading this. I like the Hermione wonders about what going on with Malfoy, that she feels something is broken about him as well.
I especially liked that part where she thought that maybe Harry and Draco weren't so different after all. It kind of struck me, and it may be true in some ways. I liked that detail.

Anyway, I'm a little tired and ready to go to bed, so this review will be a little short. But don't worry, I'll read the next chapter when I get the time for it - hopefully tomorrow :)

- Avi

Author's Response: Thanks for coming back and leaving another wonderful review! I'm really glad that you are liking this story and that you thought the bit about Draco and Harry being opposite sides of the same coin being a good detail to add. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #49, by toomanycurls chapter two

3rd July 2014:
Hello!! Thanks for doing another swap.

I thought it was really fitting for Draco to turn the hurtful situation around on Hermione. If there was anyone who could make her feel worse about Ron and Lavender, it was him. You did a great job having him say the meanest thing possible at that moment.

Draco was rather intimidating when he confronted Hermione about not telling people he was there. I like that you show how perceptive Hermione is with his tiredness with the pink around his eyes. Ooh, it's interesting that she connects Draco's worries and stress with Harry's. They are like opposite sides of the same coin. I do think it'll be frustrating if she has insight to what Draco is up to (or just more about his detiorating condition) but doesn't heed Harry's thoughts about him in the RoR. I'll be curious how you play that out.

I liked seeing Parvati's interaction with Hermione. She seemed quite shallow and uninterested in Hermione apart from what gossip she would share. I can imagine that was a lonely dorm for her.

Your bit with Harry is gold. Hermione's advice is sound and just what Harry needed to hear that evening.

Hmm... it is intriguing that she focused on Malfoy as she drifted off. Just because they're not that close yet. It's just so sad to me how lonely Hermione feels. Sarah and Lisa seem to highlight that for her.

Awesome chapter!! I really like how you've explored Hermione's headspace in this story so far.

-Rose

Author's Response: Wow this review is really awesome! Thank you so much for all the wonderful compliments and I'm really glad that you are enjoying this story so far! I really want to try and keep this close to canon and it really makes me happy to hear when people think that I'm handling this rather well. Draco and Harry really are the opposite side of the same coin which is really interesting to explore. I'm glad that you are enjoying this and I do hope that you will come back and read more! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!

~Slytherinchica08~


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Review #50, by Lostmyheart chapter one

3rd July 2014:
Hi!

I'm here for the reviewswap you offered :) I'm sorry it took me a few hours, I had to reveiw some entries for my challenge first :D
I seriously loved reading this chapter, you're incredibly talented. Which doesn't surprise me, for as far as I remember, I've read another story of yours.
I love Dramione as well, which you probably saw from my list of stories. And I LOVED this start of your story. It was so... ugh... I don't know what to say. I just love stories where Draco is this evil young man, yet so strangely attractive.
The way you write Hermione is perfect as well, and I like how you portrayed her feelings on Ron and Lavender, it fit her character so well.
To be honest, I think I'll read on. I really have to find out what happens between Draco and Hermione.
You may have gained a 'favorite story' from me ^_^

- Lostmyheart (Avi)

Author's Response: This review still makes me smile! I'm so glad that you enjoyed this first chapter and that it has caught your attention enough to want to continue reading. For me this story comes from a huge piece of my heart. Dramione is my OTP as well, but I feel that a lot of dramiones seem the same so I wanted to ground this one in canon events and try to make the romance between the two as realistic as possible while still trying to keep true to events that have happened. Obviously some of the events are going to change to add in the dramione events but the over all story line is going to be very much true to the books/movies. I'm so glad that you liked the way I portrayed Draco and Hermione in this story. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story!

~Slytherinchica08~


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