Reading Reviews for A Force Of Wills
80 Reviews Found

Review #26, by EnigmaticEyes16 A Force of Wills

23rd September 2014:
This story is getting VERY interesting. I was very intrigued by Astoria's little chat with Blaise in the pantry. He doesn't really seem like a terrible guy and it was nice to see him come out of his quiet shell a bit. I can't wait to see more of Astoria's interactions with him, because looking at the titles of upcoming chapters, I can see that there is definitely going to be more. And I'm also very curious to see what Draco does next. I wonder if we will see him again before they go off to Hogwarts.

But that is it for today, I need some sleep. These are some very long chapters you write, but I have to say, it never gets dull.


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again with this lovely review. I'm glad that a lot of people have come to this story and I hope we continue to chat, I still owe you a review and I'll get to it right after this!

Blaise isn't nearly as terrible as Draco is and might actually be a decent guy. Hahaha. I wrote him as a bit more reserved and the conversation that he has with Astoria in the pantry only shows the first real signs of his character.

Oh, there's going to be more interactions between Blaise and Astoria. Hahaha. The story goes into a way different direction after chapter six so you're just going to have to wait and see. Draco does show up again but just not in the way you expect.

Hahah, go to sleep! I have long chapters and I'd rather not have you guys passing out when you need rest. Hahahah.

Thanks a lot!

Much love,


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Review #27, by EnigmaticEyes16 Purebloods

22nd September 2014:
Jeez, that was intense. I was reading the second half of this to the end, practically on the edge of my seat, my little ipod touch less than a foot away from my face, mentally going "ah!" the entire time. And the game hasn't even started yet! Or has it? Hmmm.

Okay, a lot happened in this chapter. I think I like and I don't like Draco. I'm legit torn on my feelings for him in this story. He's kind of a total jerk. Especially when she's fainted and he still wants to have his way with her, and at the same time keeps telling Blaise to just dump her somewhere. But I was glad that Blaise was gentlemanly enough to catch her before she fell and lay her down gently, and that he protected her from Draco and the other guys until her siblings came in.

I'm also glad we got to see that there's a little more to Emily in this chapter. She cares for her sister, but she seems to smooze her way through things, purposely involving herself with men she's trying to get information out of. I'm very intrigued by their "family business" and very curious as to what exactly their father's goal is here since they seem to all hate purebloods so much. And I'm very curious about the threats Astoria has on Malfoy... although I don't know why he would want her to be his, and want to ruin her at the same time... is that so she has to turn to him for help? Maybe? He's seems to have a pretty twisted view of things...

I am going to have to read on some more because I'm very curious to know what's happening and this story has totally ensnared me. It's very well written, too, my only issue is there are so many commas around the dialogue where there should probably be periods and it can be slightly confusing figuring out who's speaking at times. But other than that, I'm loving this story.


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for stopping by, I'm glad that you've enjoyed the story so far. Bwhahaha, I hope you didn't hurt your iPod touch by having it that close to your face though, I've learned my lesson with technology. Hahhah.

Anyhoo, Draco is a complete and utter sleaze in this story and a lot of people pretty much give up on him right about now. I wrote him that way on purpose and its really sad that the only thing on his mind is when he can have Astoria for his own. Blaise is more old fashioned than the others and he wouldn't have let anything happen to Astoria, he's actually human.

Ah, yes. Emily has a bit more depth to her than what you might have seen in the first chapter and while she's not particularly a favorite, I'm glad that people understood that she does love her sister. Being with various men for information is all a part of the business their family is involved in and you'll find out more about that later.

Astoria's father has information on everyone so of course, she knows more about the Malfoy family than Draco does. Hahaha. Draco has an intense lust for Astoria, it really can't be explained very well so I hope you do stick around longer. :D

I'll have to go in and fix those mistakes, it's been a long time since I've actually took a step back and looked through each chapter. Thanks for telling me though!

Much love,


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Review #28, by EnigmaticEyes16 Half and Half

22nd September 2014:
Hi! I am here for our review swap! Sorry it took me so long, I got temporarily distracted but I did not forget.

Anyway, so far this seems very intriguing. I like Astoria a lot so far and her disdain for pureblood society, and just about everyone we've met so far, lol. Although i was a bit confused with her siblings, since I always see her and Daphne as sisters. But I'm intrigued by her brother being called Scorpious... But I do love that he has her back as her sister has yet to have a personality under her good daughter demeanor.

There's definitely something going on in Draco's mind about Astoria that I am dying for a glimpse of. I saw that you have two one-shots concerning this coupling and I may have to check those out, too.

This game so far is also very interesting and I think I'm just gonna have to read on to find out what happens during it. I did notice a few mistakes here and there, just some little typos and one or two weird word choices but nothing that couldn't easily be cleared up with a beta maybe.

So far though, this is really good. I think I'm definitely going to have to read on because I want to know what happens next.

Again, thanks for the review swap! I'm glad I got to read this story so far.


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by and it's really all right that it took you a minute to get here. I always take too long with my own reviews and people have too much faith in my power to resist chocolate. Hahahha.

Astoria has a lot of issues with purebloods at the moment and I think that if you keep reading, you'll only see that it goes far beyond hatred. There's no Daphne Greengrass in this story, it's sort of an AU so don't worry about that. Hahaha. Ah, so many people are interested in Scorpious's name and well, it really isn't what you think.

Scorpious does love his sister though and he'd never let anything happen to her.

If you had wanted to know more about Draco's feelings towards Astoria, you could try out those one-shots. I'm going through an editing process for "Monsters in the Dark" though so if I update it and you seem a little confused, that's why. Hahhaah.

Thanks so much for stopping by with this lovely review!

Much love,


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Review #29, by Penelope Inkwell Traitors

20th September 2014:
Woah! Points to Blaise! (though, after spending so much time in my version of Astoriaís head, my first thought is still, ďThis is not wise!Ē)

I also like Emily a lot more, here. Sheís gone back up in my estimation, being protective of her little sister like that. And her advice does not sound half bad...

ďHe was dating that broomwreck?Ē--I always enjoy seeing normal idioms translated into the wizarding world. Love it!

So the Greengrasses are, like, Personal Revenge Consultants? Who you can hire to ruin your enemies? That is fascinating! Itís also a nice twist, since I was assuming that Astoria had her own room because she was, like, a werewolf or a vampire or something, but this is more original and makes perfect sense.

So, the count so far is that our Astorias: (1) Both have issues with Pureblood society, (2) Both are well trained in digging up secrets, (3) Have a penchant for revenge, (4) Have connections to the Order of the Phoenix, and (4) Cannot get rid of Draco Malfoy. However, I still find our stories to be really different. Itís so interesting! Our evil twin mental connection is apparently quite strong. ; )

I have hope that Draco will improve, but right now heís truly despicable, so Iím inclined to have to temporarily ship Astoria and Blaise. Iím still stuck on his very dramatic departure from the Death Eaters. What will that mean?! Iím certainly interested in finding out, so that was an excellent use of a plot twist. Bravo!


Author's Response: Hey, there!

Thanks for coming back, you've been really awesome. Points to Blaise indeed but of course, it's going to backfire in some way and I'm glad that you're catching on to it.

Ah, Emily does grow on you after a while and she's very protective of Astoria. I don't think that her advice is going to work out in the way that she thinks though...

Bwhahah, "broomwreck" always makes me laugh.

Well...I would say that the Greengrass's are more like the mafia but you've given them a much more esteemed title. Hahahhaa. Astoria would make a good vampire and that idea is actually so AWESOME that I would totally write that! Too bad that I didn't think of it at all...

Our Astoria's continue to be so unique and so different! I'm really eager to get back to TH too, I want to know how your Astoria is doing.

Twin mental connection power!

I'm supposed to transform but it didn't work...

Anyway, Draco doesn't improve but I don't want you to give up on him just yet. You should ship Astoria/Blaise though, there's something happening there. Hahhaha.

You'll have to read the next chapter if you want to find out what happens though, I won't tell you! :D

Thanks for coming by!

Much love,


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Review #30, by GingeredTea Half and Half

20th September 2014:
I really liked the first line you chose for this story - setting up the mood of the main character right off the bat.

I pretty much suck at grammar, but I was a bit distracted by the lack of it some places. Like here:

The moment [or opportunity?] would spare her the agony of being near the horrid people that[who] were[would] (going to - cross out) be tainting her night later on[;] but[crossout] when no such hole appeared[,] or no unearthly creature offered her the salvation she craved, her heart sank.

You have a few paragraphs/ sentences that would work awesomely with a semi-colon.

I really like the thought-process you have exposed to the reader in this story and the flow just kept getting better and better as you went on. I was laughing somewhere toward the middle, which I usually don't.

The end was admittedly a bit creepy. The game was...well lets just say I share Astoria's opinion on it exactly.

All in all I really enjoyed this first chapter and would love to come back for another! Sorry this review took so long. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, goodness. I thought that you had vanished on me and it's so good to see that you're back! This means that you can stuff as many requests for Devlin Potter in my review thread! I'm already excited! Go do that nyow! I have another slot open in my review thread! DO IT.

Anyhoo, thanks so much for stopping by, I didn't think that you would actually read/review after so long. I think my favorite part of this entire chapter is the fact that it starts off so dark and poor Astoria's thoughts of her pureblood counterparts only gets worse.

ARGH! I hate that part of this chapter, I am totally going to edit the mess out of that. I had been meaning to upload the edited chapter for this but I keep forgetting, I'd actually cleaned that little bit up a looong time ago.

Ah, dark humor. It is my friend! I'm glad that you were able to laugh though, I can't really write an angsty story without a few laughs.

The end is supposed to make you feel really creeped out. So many people have commented on that game and I can't blame them for wanting to whisk Astoria away. Hahahaha.

Come back anytime, it would be lovely to hear from you! :D

Much love,


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Review #31, by Penelope Inkwell Purebloods

20th September 2014:
Ugh. I feel violated. You do an excellent job and making Draco the absolute king of sleaziness. Ick! Poor Astoria. I mean, that is some serious harassment.

I was really happy with Emily for a while. She didnít seem like such a simpering fool when she swooped in to save her little sister, and she legitimately seemed more concerned with her than she was about her reputation.

And then, after seeing how absolutely horrid Malfoy is, she suggests that Astoria try to get close to him, to benefit the family? Ick. Pureblood manipulation, through and through. But it was very realistic.

ďWhat? We do, Iím just saying, we couldÖlet him go missing.Ē Scorpious said with a playful shrug and Astoria shuddered, they couldnít have that happening again. It was why there was only three of them now...Ē Oh my gosh, do they mean Daphne? I know you said that she wasnít part of the story, but did she die?!

Way to be a gentleman, Blaise. Itís nice to know that one of their number is at least capable of being decent.

I am interested in the way that the Greengrass siblings talk about Purebloods. Obviously Astoria isnít one, but Emily and Scorpius are, yet theyíre pretty derisive towards the whole group. Do they think they, themselves, are untrustworthy as well? Or are they not really Purebloods?

"She omitted the fact that it only became necessary when there was information that needed to be stolen...Ē Ah! An Astoria after my own heart. Love it!

You really do a great job with the creepy, skin-crawly tone. Iím interested to see how Astoria handles Draco. I believe in her!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by again with this awesome review! Hahaha, Draco is the nastiest bit of pureblood out there, isn't he? I liked writing him though and poor Astoria indeed.

Emily would probably kill someone for Astoria (There's a pun in there somewhere) and she would toss aside her reputation in a heartbeat. Hahahahaha. Well, Emily is a Greengrass through and through, she knows what they need and puts that over say, having a soul.

Blaise is a gentleman. He's fantastic.

Daphne was not killed, don't you worry about that! Hahahaha. It does make you wonder what that might mean though...doesn't it? >:)

Scorpious and Emily have a rather interesting view on purebloods. Their parents raised them to hate them, obviously but I've seen a lot of people in RL who hate their own race and sort of played off of that there.

The skin-crawly tone only gets worse as you read! I hope you stick around for more!

Much love,


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Review #32, by Penelope Inkwell Half and Half

17th September 2014:
So, first of all, woah. I love seeing different portrayals of Astoria, because theyíre pretty rare, and this one certainly looks to be interesting. You have an incredible way of creating the feel of the chapter. I could really feel that sense of just...sickly opulence. It was like Edgar Allen Poe. I just imagined all these people at this glittering party, but somehow everything is just gross and twisted and wrong. You really did a wonderful job of creating that sensation of a hideous masquerade. I wouldnít want to be there, either! And your description of the room the school-aged kids are in--the yellow light and the opening of hell--that was just so striking. Very good work. This chapter just has what I think of as ďgood textureĒ.

Now, for a running commentary:

I am already intrigued! Why does she have her own room?

Hmm. Emily seems a bit brainwashed, but excellent for contrast. So thereís Scorpius, Emily, and Astoria. Does Daphne still exist in this story? Has something happened to her? Is that one of the many family secrets?!

ďAnd the children can relax and chat,Ē--snort. Yeah. This seems like a chill sort of crowd, right?

I love your description of the pureblood boys as, ďlooking dark and sickly.Ē

Astoria is a half-blood? OH MY GOSH THE SCANDAL!!!
...possibly Iíve been a Slytherin for too long.

Clearly Astoria and Scorpius are brothers/sisters-at-arms. It sounds as though theyíre the only thing keeping each other remotely sane. I love that you made Scorpius her brotherís name, so that her son will be his namesake. (But I do hope that doesnít mean heíll die!)

I like that Astoria is already standing up to Draco. Way to show some spunk, girl! The fact that sheís a half blood living in a pureblood world and still has so much spirit is really admirable.

Hide-and-go-seek with this lot will NOT go well, Astoria! These are not people you want to be sought by Astoria! Go back into the hallway and find anyone else to talk to, Astoria!

Oh, good, sheís not planning on being there. No doubt sheíll somehow be dragged into it, but Iím very pleased that Astoria is sensible.

Ew. Draco is just so slimy here. That must have been fun to write!

Aaaand, sheís dragged into it. Heavens, this game sounds positively debauched, especially for a girl growing up in the psuedo-1800ís! Run, Astoria, run!


Mostly itís just general grammar stuff. There are some places where a sentence needs to be split in two, or commas need to be added--little stuff like that. I did jot down one specific thing:

"Emily liked this sort of thing, parties and dances and zoos, because that was what this was and Astoria groaned inwardly and tried to salvage the remains of her scalp. ď I think you could cut out Ďbecause that was what this wasí. Your meaning is already clear, and the addendum makes the snarky comment sort of lose its bite. Itís a brilliant comparison, though. I like Snarky Astoria!

This is fascinating. I am just so intrigued! Great work!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by evil twin! I'm really glad that you enjoyed this first chapter, I wasn't sure if you were going to or not. I am so glad that we found each other! :D

*Plays sexy background music*

I am going to be honest and say that I am a lover of detail. I think that I can go a bit overboard sometimes but I really love putting a reader right into the scene and making them see what I'm writing, if that makes any sense. Edgar Allen Poe, you say? Why, thank you! I had meant for Malfoy Manor to feel sort of like a circus or a ball with a dark, dreary undertone. There's something so sickening about being in a room with people with fake smiles, there's nothing more chilling to me. Well, clowns are scary too so never mind.

Astoria has her own room because of...reasons which will be made clear later on in the story. Hahahaha. This story is sort of like an AU and there is no Daphne Greengrass in this story, I didn't want to include her for some reason. I can't remember why but I think that it sort of works without another child, though there used to be four Greengrass children originally but that's another story. :D

Astoria IS a half-blood! How dare she be anything other than pure?! >:D

Ah, Scorpy. I think that a lot of people are rooting for him and Astoria in the first half of the story but he won't be the same person towards the current chapter. You might not like him so much! But here, he's supportive and kind to his baby sister and they do make a great pair. :D

Emily is a bit brainwashed but she enjoys the spotlight.

Astoria and Draco have had many encounters in the past and their relationship is far from sweet. I think that their like two cats circling one another or something, she is never going to be able to tolerate him.

Bwhahah, I have way too much fine writing Draco. I think that he's a character that has so many faces and he's just so unlikeable in this story! I can't resist the challenge!

Oh, that game. SO many people have told me that its quite scandalous of the children and well, Astoria will find her freedom. The night won't go as planned but she isn't going to be forced into something that she can't get out of. At least not right now.


Thanks for the CC's too, I'd spotted those ages ago and for some reason, have been too lazy to put up the edited chapter for this story. Hahahahha.

Much love,


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Review #33, by Infinityx Monster

14th September 2014:
Hi, here for your requested review.

I just couldn't stop reading. My eyes were glued to the screen until I completed it and I wanted to leave reviews as I read but it was too engrossing to stop.

This is like, everything I enjoy reading put together in one and I LOVE IT. Also, if you haven't noticed, it's gone straight into my favourites.

Okay, since I'm reviewing the final updated chapter, I guess I won't be able to completely touch on every single aspect so when I get the time, I'll go back and review each chapter.

You have created such a brilliant, enthralling universe here with such a deep, dark plot, and your writing style completely brings out the various moods in each situation in a really powerful way. There were so many times when my heart began racing and I just had to read on and find out what happened.

Totally love the whole Mafia type setting you've got going on with the Greengrass family. Maximus Greengrass gives me the chills and it's as though he's omnipresent, it's so creepy. Every time his character appeared, even the slightest of movements he made were filled with
so much significance, especially during the whole exchange between him and Blaise.

And BLAISE. He's just oozing with exterior calm and confidence and the way he handles Maximus is just. Wow. I was so scared that he would be cursed any second and I was kind of waiting for him to just drop dead but I'm glad that didn't happen. I knew it probably wouldn't happen in order for the plot to progress, but that didn't stop me from being terrified. Just. andepfmkm.

And Scorpious. You know, about the spelling. I get that it's a typo but I think the spelling makes a distinction between Astoria's brother and Scorpius from canon - Draco's son. I suggest you keep the spelling that way. I don't think I'll be able to think of him as 'Scorpius' because the entire personality is formed and now there's an identity to 'Scorpious', if you know what I mean.

Coming to his characterization. There's something about him that keeps me at the edge of my seat. Until the whole incident at Knockturn Alley, he seemed like quite a rational person who cared about what Astoria's wishes were, and he was just endearing in a way. And the other side to him, the mad one. That gave me thrills. You wrote that scene so brilliantly that I was put in a kind of scenario where I could visualize the expression on his face and the extent of his anger clearly. You really have a knack for writing action scenes. And when Scorpious finally showed his tears when Astoria was leaving...that broke me. I really hope there's some way of making him understand Astoria's position because she needs as much support as she can get right now.

Emily on the other hand. I don't really like her much. She seems really overbearing and egotistic and it's sad the way she doesn't really have a mind of her own because of her fear of her dad. But she's also quite intriguing. She does kind of understand that she's being controlled but she's fine with it. I am SO curious to know exactly how Leo died. It's obvious that Maximus killed him or had him killed and I'm trying to piece the various details together but I need MORE. :D

Draco Malfoy makes me want to throw up. He's such a slime ball in this and I hate how he has such pure lust towards Astoria. The amount of mental scarring she must have with his hands and mouth all over her whenever he sees's just horrifying. I'm also really curious to see whether you'll follow canon and have Draco end up with Astoria or whether you'll break away from that.


So, I'm guessing that Astoria has to give in to Draco's advances? That's probably the condition her father gave her? I'm not to sure because she was fighting him off quite vehemently in this chapter so I'm DYING to know what happens.

The plot so far has been AMAZING and I can sense that there'll be a lot of twists coming up. I really love how you've tied this in with canon. The appearance of Ginny and Neville was a lovely surprise and I'm really impressed by your writing.

I noticed a lot of misplaced apostrophes throughout the chapters though, like when they're used for plural words. I suggest you go through them or have someone look over the chapters because, at least for me, they were quite distracting and I wouldn't want the flow in such a great plot disrupted because of such errors.

I am so curious about the engagement rings as well. There has GOT to be a catch. I refuse to believe that they are a harmless gift. Nuh uh. Not from Maximus.

And I NEED to know Astoria's background. I am so confused there because I wasn't able to completely understand how she ended up in the family even though there's some mention about it in the initial chapters. What could be so extreme about it that knowing it would scare Blaise away? :o

I'm sorry for such a rambling review but I just read all the chapters at a stretch and my head is reeling from the intensity of every scene. Love this. Thank you for requesting, I'm so glad I read this.



Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks a lot for leaving me this really amazing, monstrous review. I've been trying to find the time to answer this for a few weeks now and I'm finally going to crack down and do it!

I apologize in advance if I don't touch on everything you talked about! D':

I'm so happy that you enjoyed this story so much, it really means a lot to me. I have been writing this for a little over two years now, I think and it's only just now getting noticed. I was starting to think that maybe I had pushed myself a little too far with my plot but you've made me feel a lot better about it.

This is one of my more darker stories when it comes to tone though so I have to really get into the zone. Whenever I write Maximus, I have to really stop myself from shuddering, he's such a nasty character but he's kind of like a ghost. He can be everywhere and nowhere at once.

Blaise may come to regret testing him though and I'm really glad that you like him as well, girls love that guy. Hahahha.

I'm really relieved about how you feel about Scorpious too. I feel that the more I wrote him, he became more MINE and I didn't think that I would be able to write him any other way. I can't change his name because then he would be a completely different person to me and it wouldn't feel right.

A lot of people have commented on the fact that Scorpious changes so much during this story. I wanted to show that things could change without warning and that madness was something that ran in the Greengrass family as closely as secrets. It was hard writing him hurting Astoria though and it was even harder for me to get him to a point where his madness truly took over. BUT it was obvious when she left home that he did still love her and I don't thin that he'll ever be able NOT to. I'm not sure if he'll ever accept what she's done though but he'd kill for her, that's for sure.

Emily is not a favorite for many but I thought that she would have been an interesting contrast for Astoria. I thought that she would be the final product of a life that their father wanted and well, it sort of ruined her in some way.

Leo's death is a fishy mystery that I'm going to clear up in a few chapters. I don't want to keep you guys guessing on that one too much but yes, Maximus either had him killed or killed him.

Draco will continue to be a sleaze, trust me. I can't imagine the kind of horror that Astoria has gone through, dealing with him for so long.


Ah, Astoria doesn't have to give in to Draco, her father is after blood. >:)

I'm trying to show more canon characters as this goes on. Now that they're at Hogwarts, they're going to be surrounded by people you all recognize so I'm hoping that goes well.

Hahah, you're the only one who has picked up that thing about the engagement rings. It's not at all what it appears. Hehehehehe.

Astoria's background will be made clear soon, I'm hoping to get to that before chapter thirty.

Thank you SO much for the review and I promise, I'll be stuffing another chapter into the queue as soon as I update my other stories. Hahahhaha.

Much love,


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Review #34, by Xavier Kadmiel Half and Half

4th August 2014:
I thoroughly enjoyed this. Although I was not entirely familiar with all the characters beforehand, this made me feel like I could identify them with no problem now. I especially love the characterization of Historia, you can really identify with her plight. The only problem I encountered while reading was sometimes not recognizing which characters were speaking at a moment. But that could simply be my inability to juggle multiple characters at once with my mind processing lol. Overall, its a really well written first chapter, its inviting and leaves me wanting to find out what happens next.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for taking the time to stop by and leave me a review, buddy! Its a shame that you're not very familiar with the HP universe and I suggest you get on that right away before I cast you in the fire! Hahah.

Astoria, not "Historia" my friend and yes, I think that I put in a sense of doom with her fairly well. You can obviously sense that things aren't going to go very well for her and I like that you were able to keep reading! I know that its kind of hard to figure out who's speaking sometimes and I have to go back and edit that at some point but thanks for pointing that out to me!

I hope I see you again!

Much love,


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Review #35, by jazz16 Sibling

12th January 2014:
I really love how angsty your stories are :) I really like how Astoria is portrayed in these stories but I have to ask...are Astoria & Blaise together forever now? I really like Draco/Astoria but I admit, he is a complete jerk. Great job, I really enjoy all your stories!

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there newbie! Its great that you've stopped by to check out all of my stories and feel free to leave me a thousand reviews and junk. That would make me happy! DO IT.
All joking aside, Astoria and Blaise are together now and forever and ever sounds really great but then again...there's Draco Malfoy to deal with and yes, he's a major prat! But just wait until what he does later and you might just want to beat me up. HAHAHHAAHAHA.
Much love,

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Review #36, by AlmostInvisible  Bound

18th September 2013:
I've never really been much of a shipper, especially uncanon ships, and neither have I ever been one for Hogwarts Era fics but this story has given me a new look on things.
You characterization is amazing, the characters themselves seem so real, it's awesome. You have made something great. It's a real shame that some people haven't read this fic because they are missing out on an adventure.
Thank you and update soonly. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

*Blush* Well, this is a really great surprise! Its nice to meet you, I'm Gabbie! Gosh, for a while I was thinking that no one was really reading this fanfic because there hasn't been a lot of reviews for it in a long time but this just made me so happy. I could almost cry! D':
Bwhaha, I have an idea for what happens next but a certain blonde boy is going to get in the way. Hehehehe.
You know, I haven't been much of a shipper myself but I LOVE George/Angelina and made two stories with them on my page because they're my bias. Hahahaha.
I'm really glad that you like this story, it really means a lot that I've switched you over or helped you get into something you'd never really liked before. Or something? Hahah.
Oh, stop. These characters are so HARD to write for, trust me...this chapter did NOT come to me easily. I cried and ate a lot of chocolate writing this one and thank Merlin it turned out all right in the end. Phew!
I think there are so many fics out there that mine sort of gets pushed aside but I'm grateful for every review or read I get, it makes me feel really honored. :)
Thanks so much for your review!
Much love,

P.S.: I have no internet at home so updates will be really slow and I have five other stories that need updates its gonna be awhile. D':

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Review #37, by LilyLou Purebloods

4th July 2013:
LilyLou here with your Requested Review!

Okay, major points!

-You're thoroughly descriptive. You add a lot of details about everything, giving your story more depth and length. You create a picture in my mind; as if I were really there, as Astoria. The imagery is amazing in this story.

-You tend to write run-on sentences. If there's one thing you seem to love, it's the word AND. You use it quite often, and while it's okay in some places, of course, if overused, it can make your writing look poor. You're an amazing writer, as I said in my last point with how detailed you are, but maybe if you would cut down on the ands, it would be a little better! In my eyes, anyways. Some may disagree.

-I do love the relationship between Scorpious and Astoria. They take the same view on the purebloods as well as many other things. They share a very good sibling relationship! Well done writing that, it can be a bit difficult to stick with.

-Just a warning, though I'm sure that this has been pointed out, some people are not the biggest fan of the whole "Killing Myself" attitude you've placed on Astoria, and it seems Blaise has that as well. I don't have a problem with it at all, but some may. I think that it helps you see how she truly hates her way of life, and maybe Blaise does as well.

-Though you write him with amazing technique, I have to say I don't like Draco's character. I don't see him being so... forceful. That's totally my opinion, and while I see many purebloods in this way, such as Rabastan Lestrange and Crabbe, I just don't see Draco like that. Just my opinion!

Your story looks really good, and I hope this helps with whatever questions you had!

Keep writing!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this review so quickly, its always a nice surprise! :D
Bwha, thanks for the compliment on detail, I always think I put in too much but I can hardly help myself, I really just like making sure the scene is described well enough so that the readers can follow along without any problems. And its always better if you can sit there and be completely engrossed in the backgrounds and characters.
Oh, I've got this horrible thing with run on sentences and especially for the beginning of this story in particular. I'll have to go through and fix those, I've just been so busy that I haven't had time to get that done but I will sooner or later.
Scorpious and Astoria have a very good relationship right NOW hahaha but they do agree on alot of things that their family might not approve of. I don't have an older brother so if I did, I'd want him to be as funny and overprotective as Scorpious and sort of made him out to be what I'd always wanted. And plus, its always fun having siblings argue for me in a story so I made sure that they got along first before going into all of that.
I haven't gotten any comments on Astoria's "killing myself" attitude, other than that its sort of funny and relatable. I do understand what you mean but she isn't at all serious, just being moody and sort of a brat when she's thinking like this. Being in the room with purebloods doesn't help matters.
You're not supposed to like Draco at all! Hahaha. He's not the hero of this story and I don't want you falling in love with him! Hahhaa. I think of him more as a bully that wants what he wants when he wants it so I picture him using more force. I always have so I don't really know why...but anyhoo, that's just me! :D
Thanks for coming and feel free to stop by again!
Much love,

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Review #38, by marauderfan Half and Half

4th July 2013:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

First of all, your descriptions are quite good. You've very accurately portrayed the stuffy pureblood clique and the Malfoys' fancy manor, and all the antiquated traditions Astoria is forced to adhere to and hates (like being married off early as if it's the 1800s.)

I appreciated Astoria's distaste for it all - her sarcasm is really fun to read! I think its nice how she and her siblings are all kind of on the same page as far as hating the superficial pureblood gatherings, too. (Speaking of her siblings, you mention that Astoria is the only half blood in the house, what about her brother and sister? Are they her half siblings?)

There are a couple of things you could do with your sentence structure that I think will help the story flow better. First of all some of your sentences run-on a bit, they seem like separate thoughts connected by an "and", for example:

"Will you stay with me and spare me the horror of being alone with Malfoy and his nasty little friends? His ego can grow so big that we'd suffocate." Astoria said and her older brother laughed and she asked slyly, "or are you going to see your girlfriend?"

I don't think the two bits of dialogue need to be in the same sentence. You could try something like this: "...we'd suffocate," Astoria said, and her older brother laughed. She asked slyly, "Or are you going to see your girlfriend?"

Another thing you could work on is maybe clarifying some of the subjects/objects. This paragraph in particular I had to read a couple of times to figure out who the word "she" is referring to - Astoria or Samantha Travers:

Travers... Astoria thought with disgust. That was a name that she had heard quite often from her fathers' contacts, her father was a Death Eater and had had a nasty habit of murdering his wives shortly after they were married to get his claws on their dowry.

Hopefully I'm not coming across as too mean or picky! ;) Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with your review, its always nice to get one and so soon too! You're way better than I am when it comes to this stuff, i'm always at least a week late because I'm so busy. :p
Anyhoo, thanks for the compliments! I tried to make this story as detailed as possible so that when you're all reading this, you don't feel as if you can't follow along. And details are great, you're able to set up a scene much better that way if you give alot of information here and there.
As for Astoria's distaste for the life, I had never pictured her as enjoying it. And her sarcasm his hilarious to write so adding that in was just really fun! Her siblings have their own views on it though, her brother is just as disgusted by it as she is and their sister rather likes the idea. Hahahah. As for her being the only half blood, that's only one in many mysteries when it comes to this story. You'd have to keep reading to figure it all out, nothing is what it seems! :D
I know all about my run-on sentences and some paragraphs do need to be corrected, I just haven't had a chance to get to it. Real life sucks! >:(
But I'll get to those eventually.
Anyway, thanks for coming to this and this story is about 18 chapters long, I have no plans in stopping anytime soon! :D
Much love,

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Review #39, by CambAngst Purebloods

4th May 2013:
Hi, Gabbie!

Such a tense (intense?) chapter! The existential angst was just dripping from every pore on Astoria's body in this one. She seemed to wander back and forth between angry and horrified, with a lot of misery thrown in for good measure. The physical description of her fainting was really well done, I thought, and it went a long way toward showing just how disgusted she feels at Draco and all of his pureblood friends.

Kudos for keeping all of your point of view changes correct. I doubt it was the easiest thing to do with so many substantial characters all vying for attention in this one.

The dynamic between Draco and Blaise was fascinating. Zabini comes off as quite the gentleman in this chapter, but Draco seems to fear him a bit. All of the others do, actually. I'm curious to find out why that is, since he's rarely portrayed as being powerful or menacing.

Astoria's brother seems solidly on her side, but it's a little harder to figure out her sister. Maybe it's just that her sister is older, or the fact that her sister's social aims are rather different from Scorpius and Astoria. Emily obviously adores Astoria and is very protective of her, but the things she wants for Astoria don't seem to be the same things that Astoria wants for herself.

You've really got me going now, trying to figure out what this Greengrass family business is all about. If her father is soliciting business from Lucius Malfoy during the Dark Lord's second rise to power, that suggests that it's not entirely wholesome. This private dormitory of Astoria's also suggests that her family either has some lingering influence at Hogwarts or holds some dark secrets, one or the other.

The final encounter between Draco and Astoria capped off a very tense chapter with some real intensity. The contrast between the disdain Astoria feels for Draco and her physical reactions to his advances couldn't be much stronger. Her body is betraying her in a thousand little ways. Draco comes off like a **massive** creeper in this, but he's also clearly so fascinated with Astoria that he's willing to associate with a girl that his parents would see as completely beneath him. That makes it pretty obvious that his interest in her is more than just physical. He can't comprehend the fact that she rejects his advances, and it makes him want her that much more. I have to imagine that fireworks are going to ensue once they return to Hogwarts...

I only had one substantial critique of your writing, and it's the fact that sometimes it was a little challenging to keep track of who was doing of saying what because of all the "he's" and "she's" involved. The scene in Draco's salon was a good example. At one point you have three distinct "he's" -- Draco, Zabini and Scorpius -- and two distinct "she's" -- Astoria and Emily -- and you're occasionally mixing and matching which person the pronouns are referring to in the same sentence. It's something you'll want to watch closely with that many characters in the room at the same time.

Aside from that, your writing was lovely. Once I got into the final section with Draco and Astoria, the story was barreling downhill to the end. Nicely done!

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, I'm sorry that its taken so long for me to get back to you. I've been really busy with boring real life issues and well, that sucks but now I have enough time. So, this of course is a monster of a review and its going to take me a minute to answer! I'm going to apologize beforehand if I can't respond back to everything that you've said. D':
I think with Astoria fainting I had hinted at it in the previous chapter with her corset being too tight and the effects of all that. It wasn't just her nerves getting to her after a while but it was a scene that I liked doing!
But I think anyone would have been disgusted to be around Draco and his friends after a while.
When it came to the different and various POVs and characters, I sort of died a little, it was really difficult to get that part right. I rewrote it quite a bit! :D
It was horrible! :D
The dynamics between Draco and Blaise was really something I wanted to show. There's alot of mystery around Blaise himself and perhaps some actual fear from Draco and the others too.
He's not quite "normal" by their standards, but you'd have to keep reading to find out all about that.
Anyway, when it comes to the siblings and Astoria, you are correct when it comes to Emily and her reactions to what's going on. Her desires are very different so she can't quite understand her sister or brother very well but she'd never turn her back on them precisely.
Bwhaha, the Greengrass Family Secret will come into play later on, I promise. Actually, by chapter five or six you should pretty much have a guess of what it is.
Its not anything pretty either and of course, her father trying to go into business with Lucius Malfoy is a huge tip off. But things don't exactly go as planned at this dinner party, hehehehe. Also, with Astoria having her own dorm, there are daker reasons behind it and I hope you have fun guessing what they are. :D
Ah, the final encounter between lovely Draco adn my hissing Astoria! That's one of my favorite scenes in this story actually, just because it really plays on what you can't control and what society expects.
Astoria may hate Draco but her body doesn't exactly know what to do and of course, he's pretty skilled at what he does. ;)
Bwhaha, you think Draco is a creeper now? Just wait until later on! It gets worse and I think his desire for Astoria causes him to make risks that he would have never considered before. It makes him very dangerous.
And he's an arrogant bloke, I think. A girl beneath him telling him no? How can he stay away? Its like the ultimate test!
But if I were a guy, I'd leave Astoria alone, she's kind of scary. :D
Argh! I know just what you mean by all the mistakes you mentioned towards the end of this. I'd been meaning to clean this story up alot but haven't gotten around to it, but thanks for pointing it out! You've saved me a ton of trouble. D':
Anyhoo, thanks for coming back to this! I really can't wait to get back into Detox and oh, there's another Draco Malfoy one-shot on my page that you might or might not want to read. You've been warned. Hahahaha.
You're a dear and I'll hopefully be stalking your work pretty soon!
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #40, by patronus_charm Risks

2nd March 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with your review!

So Astoria and Blaise are off to London then? I liked that mention about her not knowing what all these strange muggle things are, it just made me laugh for some reason, and you really caught the hustle and bustle of London well.

It was nice to be out in Diagon Alley, as so far the story has been confined to peopleís houses, so it felt almost strange to be venturing out into daylight. I liked how you wrote about the darkness there though, as it seemed really accurate, and you could sense how they would be fearing the death eaters where ever they walked.

Haha poor Astoria! I was almost as shocked as she was when Blaise said she was his fiancťe! That was rather unexpected, but I guess Tom would have been suspicious if they had asked for a room otherwise. I liked Tomís appearanceís it seemed very in character, and very him.

Blaise seemed to have her character down well though. It is a trait of hers to go running away from her problems, and itís probably due to her being naÔve, so it was interesting to see other people recognised, and got annoyed by it too.

I liked that little scene at the end, with Astoria hugging Blaise, it was just really sweet, and it felt as if it was needed. It just seemed rather natural to me, and it was nice to see it helped reconcile them, after their fight! Ooh I forgot to say that when Blaise called her darling, that again was lovely, it just made me aw in side, as you can see that they're starting to develop feelings for each other.


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and indeed, Blaise and Astoria are in Muggle London, although briefly. Haha.
Astoria knows a bit about Muggle things from reading Muggle novels but not nearly enough for her to understand anything. I thought I'd play on that for a minute, it is sort of funny. :D
Yeah, I know, most of the story takes place in other people's houses and I got sick of it myself. But due to me not wanting to rush the story, I sort of just went with it but here it is, Diagon Alley at night! And later on, during the day when Blaise...well, you'll figure that out soon enough. I'm not going to spoil it for you.
Mwhahahaha. >:D
Fearing Death Eaters is the least of their worries for right now. Bwhaha, Astoria being called Blaise's fiance just about made me die laughing because I could picture her face so well! Haha, torturing her is so much fun.
Tom would have been suspicious but keep your eye on him anyway. He shows up more than once.
Blaise is a very observant person and he's been around Astoria for a few days to know her pretty well by now. Yep, Astoria does run away from her problems alot and it was a good thing that he pointed it out to her.
Astoria hugging Blaise was a major tipping point in their relationship I think. To clear the air and to also hint that they're not thinking of one another as just a friend of course.
Blaise will call her darling more than once and whisper dirty things in her ear just cause he's mean like that. :D
Thanks for this lovely review!
Much love,

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Review #41, by patronus_charm Fear

26th February 2013:
Hello Gabbie, Iím here with your review!

I liked the fall out of Helena catching Blaise and Astoria together, as it involved a lot of tension, and anger, which is always fun to enjoy! Poor Astoria though, you could tell she had some insecurities when that argument was occurring, as she seemed to be doubting herself, due to her looks, blood and wealth.

I liked that Blaise had some backbone, as thatís always nice to see, and it makes for more interesting arguments. It was interesting that he had a go at his mother for spending their little money, I always assumed that they were wealthy, so this was a nice twist.

Aw and he bought all of Astoriaís school things, how lovely! The banter between those two is just really sweet :í)

So Astoria tried to get away, and Blaise had to appear of course. Though I love having scenes with those two, I sort of wanted her to get away, so I could see more of her home, and learn more about her family as thatís still bothering me not knowing.

I donít blame her for trying to leave though! Having to put with Blaise calling her a cactus, and talking about her panties, then Helena. It sounds almost as bad as her own home!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: HellO!

I'm just now getting to you and this response and you'll have to forgive me. I had some grown up things to handle and I was eating candy and watching horror movies...
Anyhoo! Astoria did have alot of insecurities while listening to Blaise and his mother harping at one another. I think they were really powerful because her feelings for Blaise are becoming something she can't fight. And plus, its really fun! >:D
Blaise isn't really as polite as he can make himself out to be and he's made it more than clear that he despises his mother. And for good reason of course! I would say that the Zabini's are wealthy but not in the sense that they have an unlimited amount like, say, that darn Draco and his family. That's really what he meant and since his mother doesn't work and they're basically living off their savings...well, it can get rough.
And yes, Blaise bought Astoria's school things, cause he's just amazing like that. And their banter is SO much fun! Like, seriously. HAHAH.
You may get your wish by the point when you do, you will not like that Astoria is back at her home. She ran away for a reason, after all.
The not knowing is making me laugh at you! Mwhahahhahahahahaha.
Cause I'm EVIL. ;)
*Hands fat kitten* There, there.
Bwhaha, Blaise's teasing isn't really why she wanted to leave but he is rather annoying, isn't he? Hehehe.
Nah, the Zabini Estate is paradise compared to her home.
The Greengrass's are insane...
And I say that loosely.
Anyhoo, I'll re-request eventually!
Thanks again lovely.
Much love,

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Review #42, by patronus_charm Exposed

24th February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with your review!

I really liked the brief hints you gave about Astoriaís home life. It sounds pretty horrible! The way her father could so easily trace her down, with his contacts, and the fact that she was worried she could be locked up for a whole year. I really love the dark background youíve given to this story, as itís just so much more intriguing, and fun!

Iím so glad that I read that one-shot about Astoria hitting Draco with the book, as now I can get the meaning behind it.

It was also nice to find out why she had her private dorm, as that had always puzzled me, given the lack of money the family had. Itís almost as if itís her bunker, the way she talks about the safety it gives her. I really wish we can learn even more about her fatherís business as it sounds so dark, and mysterious.

I almost forgot that Astoria had another brother Leo, and that he died. Speaking of siblings will Daphne Greengrass ever appear? Or is she just not in this story? Either way I donít mind, as her family is complex and cool enough, so itís fine as it is.

I really liked that conversation that she and Blaise had. It meant that we could learn so much more about them, and they got closer of course as well. I rather like your dialogue, as though it was practically the entire chapter, you still manage to maintain my interest, and it flowed really well, as well.

I canít wait to see what itís like when they go back to school, as I canít imagine itís going to be that easier for Astoria, after that night at Malfoys! I can see where Blaise was coming from, so heís bemusement about it, is understandable! It is nice that she still wants to talk to him there, as it shows how much she likes him.

I thought the ending was great, with Blaise talking about her kisses, then Helena walking in, I almost donít want to know what her reaction is, as Iím guessing itís going to be bad!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, welcome back, its always nice seeing you here of course. :3
The Greengrass family home is not a really pleasant place and I'm glad that you were able to pick up on that. There are so many risks to what she's done and plus, I like making a dark atmosphere! Angst is what I love after all.
Bhwhah, that one-shot was pretty hilarious wasn't it? It was just a quick mention of course but I couldn't help but add it in there.
I would describe Astoria's private dorm as more of a prison but of course, there are alot of mysteries behind it. You learn more about her father's business in teh current chapter that I've been lazt about writing. :D
Hahaha. You've got a ways to go before you get to that one though!
Yep, Astoria had another brother Leo, but there's alot of mystery behind his death and no, Daphne Greengrass is not in this story at all. I didn't need her and the family was already established before hand. :D
I was sort of worried about this chapter because it was nothing but dialogue and I'm glad that you were able to stay into it.
It won't be pleasant when they go to school but lots of awful things happen to Blaise and Astoria in between then so you'll have to wait and see! >:D
Astoria will deny her feelings for Blaise for a long time up until the last chapter that I have up. :D
And even then, she won't admit it really.
That line from Blaise is a favorite from alot of people who've read this and it was nothing really that I planned. Blaise is just...he just controls the story sometimes! :D
Helena's reaction won't be good! I shall re-request for you! :D
Much love and thanks so much!

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Review #43, by CambAngst Half and Half

23rd February 2013:
Hi, there! I have to admit I cheated a bit in responding to your status because I've been meaning to check this out for a while anyway. This just turned out to be a good opportunity!

I really, really liked Astoria's sense of humor. OK, it's not exactly a sense of humor so much as it's a passionate, deep-seated loathing of this pure blood society that her parents and sister aspire to be part of, but the biting sarcasm and "oh, god, please kill me now" feelings of dread that she's constantly feeling are pretty humorous to me. I plucked out a three of my favorite Astoria reflections from the story:

But she found that if she pitched herself out of her window, they would only want the dress back and hope that her blood hadnít stained the satin material too badly. - Poor kid!

And it also couldnít change the fact that she was already awaiting her father so that he could inspect her and her sister Emily and their older brother Scorpious to make sure that they were flawless, perfect and bitterly happy. - I think anyone who's ever been forced to attend a "society" wedding against his or her will can easily relate.

Astoria wondered what poison tasted like. - This one completely cracked me up.

I thought your descriptions from the moment they arrived at Malfoy Manor were fantastic. The stifling, museum-like, old-money opulence of the place came through loud and clear. Lucius with his fake courtliness and Narcissa with her cold, scornful snobbishness were perfectly in character.

I really liked Scorpius. You're gone more than a little AU with Astoria's family, but I really don't mind. It's kind of sweet to think of her naming her only son after his uncle, although between that and the fact that this Scorpius is dating a muggle girl, I get this terrible feeling of foreshadowing...

The canon Slytherin kids and their hangers-on were pitch-perfect for me. Pansy and Nott are both nasty pieces of work and Crabbe and Goyle are little more than Draco's big, ugly cheerleading section. Zabini had some interesting twists on him, which I'm looking forward to finding out more about. He definitely isn't another one of Draco's sycophants. There's some genuine dislike there. Perhaps a bit of rivalry.

Lastly, there's Draco. I had a hard time putting my finger on it, but I think his interest in Astoria goes beyond just tormenting her. It's all the little signs you threw out. The glances that went on just a bit too long. The way he stares at her throat. The way that they wind up paired in this game, which I'm at least 90% sure is rigged, seeing as how all of the girls wound up with the "passive" squares.

The next chapter is going to be very, very interesting. If I had to bet, I'm betting that Draco winds up getting hexed, slapped or possibly kicked in the jewels. But I'd need pretty good odds to want to bet on it.

I did notice two relatively minor typos:

Scorpious had an attitude that suggested that if he could murder himself on the spot, he would do it in an instance. - in an instant.

ďBut Mum, weíre going over that insufferable pratís mansion... - over to that insufferable prat's mansion...

The best constructive criticism I can offer is mostly a matter of taste. If it were me, I would probably combine some of the shorter paragraphs together into longer ones. For me, at least, I think it would improve the flow of the story. In my mind, there's always an implied pause or change of topic whenever a new paragraph starts. And that happens so often in this chapter that it wasn't as easy as it could have been for me to get into the flow of the story.

I think you're spinning a very interesting tale here. I shall return! ;)

Author's Response: Hello!

*Fangirls* Hello there, welcome to my SUPER ANGST story. I'm glad that you had actually meant to stop by and read this, as it doesn't really get much review (Randomly I mean) so this is nice. :D
Bwha, Astoria has a sense of humor but due to the circumstances, its more of what you said. Just a deep seated loathing and hatred of the torture that she's going to be forced to endure for more than a few chapters. Hahaha.
I had soo much fun coming up with her responses/thoughts/misery so thanks for enjoying it as much as I did. :D
Oh, I have this obsession with Malfoy Manor and I'm really into detail so I wanted the first impression of it to be something you all could really remember. And plus, its just fun imagining a bunch of stuffy purebloods in a glittering, pretty place when we all know how they're just so awful underneath. ;)
Lucius and Narcissa worried me, they're not characters that I'd tried to write before this story so I wasn't sure if I'd gotten them right.
You know, I'd thought of changing this to an AU since I'd changed quite a bit with Astoria and her family but might hold off. Quite a few people enjoy my Scorpius (I'll probably dig deep and correct his name too while I'm at it).
But his romance with his Muggle girlfriend really doesn't end well. But I haven't even written that yet so you're sense of dread is very accurate! >:D
The Slytherin kids had me worried too, there was alot of personalities to work with and I got worried that I didn't pull it off. Pansy and the rest were easy but the character I wanted to focus on, aside from darling Draco was Blaise. ;) I mean, at this point, Zabini.
There's no love between him and Draco at all and I'm glad that you and so many others picked up on that. :D
Heheh, oh, Draco! I love writing him and I'll admit he's slightly exaggerated but his interest in Astoria isn't simply based on tormenting her. There are other reasons for his interest in her, most of them sort of uhm, naughty but half of them actually genuine.
Bwhaha, the game is rigged. I won't lie and say it isn't and do you know how many people actually liked the idea of it? How naughty of them, I hope they don't actually play it though...
HAHAHA. Lots happens in the next chapter but don't worry, Draco gets his soon after in more ways than one. ;)
Astoria is no passive little thing. She's like a horrible, vicious nightmare! :D
D': I'll have to look at those typos and fix them, I'd been meaning to clean up a bit with alot of stuff but haven't had the time. :p
I shall take your CC to heart though! :D
Thank you!
I hope you return! :D
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #44, by patronus_charm Blaise

22nd February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím finally here with your review, as I have a laptop again :D

I liked the description of Blaiseís house being like a dusty museum. I always imagined purebloodís houses looking like that, as theyíre so big, theyíre bound to be underused in some way, so itís perfectly like a museum.

I liked that we got to see some of Blaiseís family, especially his mother, as she always appeared interesting to me in the books, due to her multiple husbands, and she certainly lived up to my expectations, with her blatant preference to Blaiseís sister.

The whole Zabini family is extraordinarily strange. Blaiseís motherís many husbands, is obvious enough. Then thereís his sister, whoís relatively unknown, and you can tell thatís she probably one of those pureblood princesses, due to her mother preferring her. Then thereís Blaiseís fatherís study, which sheís not allowed in. And Blaise himself is rather odd, and Iím glad that Astoria thinks so too. I mean the way his mother described him bringing girls there before, sounded a little strange.

I have a small Britpick, no one really says jackass, they would probably say git instead :)

The that fight, I didnít expect that to come! My dreams of Astoria/Blaise are sort of fading away now, but there was a great line from Blaise in there about him not being able to have children due to her. That made me laugh so much, and it seemed rather strange that someone like Blaise would be thinking of parenthood already.

Then then ending saved those dreams! Theyíre not completely back to the way they were before, but they do seem to be closer again, so yaya!

The only CCís I have are include more periods and breaks, and sometimes I saw a few random capital letters, but thatís a minor thing really.

I thought this was a great chapter, even if it did slightly ruin Astoria and Blaiseís relationship! I canít wait to find out more about his sister, as she sounds very intriguing!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and I'm glad that your laptop is not in your possession again. Its nice getting such a long and lovely review! :3
I think it makes sense for Blaise's home to be falling apart a little from underuse. The days where his own family used to host and party and have a limited amount of money is sort of fading away. He's still rich of course but not in the sense that he's like Draco or Pansy or any of the rest and it might have something to do with his horrid mother.
I'm glad that you liked her though, I do have fun writing Helena, she's just so awful. She does prefer his sister over him though and Blaise goes into more detail about that sometime down the line, though not quite so soon.
Blaise might talk about his mother's previous husbands and his own strange relationship with his mother/sister. I think Blaise is perhaps one of the strangest people I have in this story and its so much fun to write. Astoria notices that he's weird and she doesn't quite mind, as it throws her for a loop each time.
Ah, Blaise was sort of a skirt chaser, which was why he was bringing girls to the house. ;)
I shall remember that Britpick! D':
Bwhaha, Astoria and Blaise actually fight more than once and I didn't want to stray away from it. There's bound to be some tension between them at some point and haha, isn't Blaise funny? He actually doesn't like children but that was a funny line coming from him wasn't it?
I think that ending was supposed to leave you feeling that way. They're not quite right but they're getting to another point in their relationship. :3
I really hope you keep on reading as I re-request, I think you'll really love the next chapter. :D
Thanks so much!
Much love,

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Review #45, by patronus_charm The Zabini Estate

17th February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with you review!

Is it bad to say that Iím kind of relieved that weíve moved on from the Malfoy party. While it was great, I felt if there was another chapter there, it would have dragged on, and Iím also intrigued to see what kind of action happens at Zabiniís Manor!

I found Astoriaís thoughts about Blaise really adorable. You can tell that sheís starting to like him, but she doesnít want to admit it! I love this part of the relationship, as itís just so sweet to see one of them fall for the other. Also the way heís portrayed in Astoriaís mind, how could you not fall for him?

Then that whole scene when Astoria reveals that she ran away. Then Blaise touched her face, it was such an awing moment, and really well done. I just want them to get closer, as they would be so cute together. Iím waiting for that moment in anticipation so I hope that it happens soon!

I like how you keep on dropping hints at her fatherís job and family. Though we know that he is some sort of assassin, and bad things have happened to his relatives, we still donít know the details of it all. We also donít know why the Greengrasses are in such a bad financial state, and I canít wait to find out why. I think itís really good that youíve developed a sense of mystery, and tension surrounding these events.

I like how Blaiseís character is developing, and weíre getting a sense of who he is now. I think his dry sense of humour is great, and itís nice to have some comedy, in an otherwise dark story. Also the fact that he has a sibling is surprising, as I just imagined him to be an only child. I could sense there was tension in their relationship though, and it will be nice to see how thatís developed.

I thought this was an interesting chapter, and we got to know a lot more about Blaise and Astoria which was really nice, as I like to have a backstory to characters, as it feels as if we know them better that way! I think the only CC I can give is use more periods and breaks, but I can understand with a chapter this long, itís a pain to proof read!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, thanks for coming back. I had gotten tired of writing the Malfoy's and the party myself but I hadn't gotten what I wanted in my earlier drafts which was why it took so long to get OUT of it. Hahhaa. But anyway, its always fun talking about Zabini and his life, eh? :)
I think you're going to be getting a feel for the way Astoria sees Blaise the more you go on in this story. With the way I write him, i just sort of turn into goo because, honestly, he's fantastic! :D
Bwhaha, they might have some trouble getting together, to be honest. But you'll see what I mean if you keep on reading! :D
I don't think you really get a grasp of the full Greengrass family and their secrets until waaay into the story. I never quite fully say what they do and why because I haven't gotten to that point but its fun guessing, right? :D
Blaise is a great character to write for, hard on some things but really fun! He's got so many layers and depth to him that you're never sure what he means or what he's trying to say. Hahahah. Or something.
Oh, yes, he has an older sister but while she's mentioned right now, you don't get the full scale of her evil until much later. :D
You shall get more Blastoria action later on (See how I shipped their names?!) and more backstory and such. This was a really long chapter but I haven't gotten to edit and such cause it sucks and its boring. And I've got other stuff to do. Hahahhaha.
Much love,

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Review #46, by FallenAmaranth Purebloods

15th February 2013:
Oh wow, right at the end there I could actually feel my own eyes well up slightly for Astoria, although I am slightly jealous that she gets to see my two favourite purebloods so much in one evening.

I think you've really managed to write Pureblood Society perfectly, exactly as I would imagine it to be. I mean, only people of that society could casually offer to have someone "go missing" or threaten to ruin a family with a few simple rumours.

I'm quite coming to like Emily, in a strange way, I mean she might be into the whole pureblood society shebang because she's desperate for a decent match and stuff, but I honestly think that she really cares about her whole family, and that might be a reason for her being so into it. I think she's quite tolerant too, especially in situations where Astoria would insult and threaten defensively, which I still love(it's good to see a bit of fire in a female character)

*Happy Dances* Blaise is such a lovely character! I'm so glad because I'd cry if he was disgustingly horrible! He shows a lot of respect for Astoria where the rest of them do not - in fact he's quite different from them all and it makes me wonder if they would be friends if none of them were purebloods or if it didn't matter, they don't appear to be a very close and caring group, and I think that's brilliant because I imagine purebloods to be mostly about their own 'survival' in the society.

Right now, I'm even more intrigued about the family secrets ;) and also about Astoria's prospects, I mean, she's clearly got Malfoy wanting to have her, but Blaise makes so many appearances that it starts to make me wonder..:D (also does he like her? I got that feeling, but then I wasn't sure)

I cannot stress how well this story is written :D It's fantastic!

~ Emily

Author's Response: Hello~!

*Blush* I didn't think I would be getting another review from you and especially not so soon! Thank you so much, I'm very flattered and just turning into a puddle of goo at your feet. Hahaaha.
I think in this chapter I'd wanted to show that pureblood society isn't as pretty and glamorous as people think it can be. Honestly, there's so much darkness underneath it all and Astoria has to really stay strong if she wants to make it.
Bwha, I always sort of saw Pureblood Society something quite nasty. Saying that you want to "dispose" of someone and spreading rumors here and there to ruin someone? That's what I always sort of figured went on in between the scenes.
Ooh, an Emily fan? I haven't many of those to be honest! I think I wrote her as the child that really does want to please their parents and make sure that everyone is happy. She's trying her hardest and she wants to have the sort of life where she can be comfortable. Yes, she is tolerant to a certain point with Astoria, who has a sharper mouth and less patience. I have to give my female leads some fire because otherwise, I would get bored, I can't stand it when a girl is weak and passive.
Oh, Blaise! He seems to have quite a few girls fawning over him for this story. I never pictured him as a bad character really, and I like the idea of an old-school gent. He's very polite, which might add why he's with the other purebloods, he's not quite as rude as he can be. But yes, to be honest, its all about appearances with them, I don't think they can really care for one another. Especially with the way I have the purebloods for this story, I mean, can you say that they're good for one another? Its like being in a cage of vipers! :D
You'll really enjoy the family secrets as they come out. I hope you like them, they're not very pleasant! ;)
With the way Malfoy is, I feel sorry for her. I mean, he's not at all pleasant and Blaise is the much better choice, though she has to keep her guard up with him too. You're never sure what he wants! :D
Hehehe, you'll find out if he likes her or not.
Thank you so much! *Hands fat kitten*
Much love,

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Review #47, by FallenAmaranth Half and Half

14th February 2013:
I promised you I'd stop by to drop off a review, and this story caught my eye(although I did click it before I'd even scrolled down to see the rest) and where better to start than the beginning?

I've never actually read a Draco/Astoria fic before, and this would be the first 'version' of Astoria that I've read so I can only compare her to my own idea of her, but she's exactly how I would have imagined her; living the pureblood life, being forced into the company of "leering old men and their nasty sons" - I loved that line.

I liked meeting her siblings, Scorpius and Emily. It was so clever to give her brother the name that she (canonically)gives her son, although her sister's name seems so normal next to Astoria and Scorpius - don't get me wrong, it's obviously such an amazing, fantastically awesome name(I'm not at all biased) and I think it fits her character very well :D

The mention of family secrets was so exciting! So yeah, I'm going to have to read some more :P Especially with Astoria being a half-blood and unaccepted by her peers, which is an interesting twist, I like it!

I liked how she described the 'private lounge' of Draco Malfoy whilst also describing what events had occurred there ;) and also giving the reader more information about Draco. I don't usually read stories about him being a 'womaniser' but I think you wrote him so well that it was absolutely perfect!

I loved Zabini, and his twinkling eyes xD (I always love Zabini)

This new game should be interesting! I look forward to reading it xD This is a fabulously written story, and you use such amazingly fantastic description and vocabulary. I envy you :P

- Emily

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, wow, hello there! :) I don't get many reviews for this story so this is really nice and its great to see you and all that stuff. ;D
There aren't alot of Draco/Astoria stories out there but you can read CambAngst's "Detox", its super amazing fantastic.
Like, seriously, its amazing.
Anyway, I had to give Astoria some fire, I really can't stand it when a female heroine doesn't have that. And plus, with what happens to her in this story, she'll need it. Like, alot. D':
Why has no one used Scorpius (Forgive the way its spelled throughout this story, its a typo I ran with like mad) as her brother before? It just really fit and well, honestly, where else could it have come from?! Emily's name does sound rather bland compared to her sibling's but her personality makes up for it I think. And she's actually quite different from them anyway so I think that her name sort of shows that too. Or something, right? Right?!!!
I dunno.
Yeah, there are family secrest. Like, awful, family secrets and it'd be nice if you kept on reading! :) It'd make me all happy and gooey.
The thing with Astoria being half-blood actually does come up sooner or later, I actually have to get to typing it...
Ooh, you like Zabini?! Well. This story is for you then, as you see him ALOT! ;)
I wonder why everyone likes that game? Are you guys just pervy?! Like me?! :D
Thank you so much, it really means alot, I just really never get that much on this story. I'm so happy now! :)
Much love,

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Review #48, by patronus_charm Greengrass

12th February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with your review!

I liked that you started with Dracoís thoughts as it made a nice change, and I always love getting the perspective of another character, as I hate not knowing what theyíre thinking. As for his characterisation, I think his thoughts definitely captured his darkness and deepness, so yay for that!

Draco seems really keen to get Astoria, though Iím pretty sure itís for evil reasons rather than romantic ones! I liked how you showed Pansyís hurt at him leaving her, but hey she kind of brought into onto herself.

This line seemed a little old to me ĖĎ helpless woman being drugí, did you mean drunk, drugged or dragged, as I think thatís a typo! Also you mentioned Draco receiving spankings that sounded a little odd as well, as it gives off humorous connotations to me, and I think if you said beating it would sound better:)

It was interesting to learn about Dracoís childhood, as we donít really much about it, and I liked the little snippet, as it helped me understand him more as a character.

I liked the little information thing on Astoriaís father as it meant we can learn about him in just a little bit. His family does seem to have a lot of suspicious deaths, so I wonder whether thereís something unusual going on there?

I liked the ending of this, and it hopefully means more Astoria/Blaise time, which I missed in this chapter, as there was only a brief mention about if from Draco. Though I did enjoying having his perspective though, so it was a win-lose situation I guess.

Another great chapter and I really enjoyed Dracoís POV, so hopefully it will feature again!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for coming back, always nice getting your reviews you know. :3
I tried to switch up on Draco and Astoria's POV a bit in this story. I'd done it in chapters two and three for a brief moment but most of this chapter deals with Draco this time! :)
I don't like writing Draco sometimes, he can get a bit intense for me. But he's fun, as his thoughts are actually pretty deep! And I like getting a feel for him, its fun to play around with that when he's around Astoria.
Bwha, Draco isn't really the "romantic" type, he wants Astoria and that's about as far as his mind goes. He wants her more than anyone else and well, Pansy found that out the hard way, yes? :p
Drug, as in "drug across the floor" but I might go in and change it. Eventually. Probably. I can't say "beatings" on the site, actually, as it would be considered "child abuse" which is why I used spankings instead.
I think knowing that Draco's a spoiled little brat is more than enough sometimes but I think he's had other things happening in his life though.
Yeah, the Greengrass family has alot of weird little deaths, though only one of his siblings IS dead. That they know of, anyway. There's something more happening, of course.
There will be more Astoria/Blaise in the next few chapters, actually. And the Greengrass family reveals more about what they do for a living. :p If you weren't able to guess.
You won't see Draco for a while but when you do, you won't like it. Hahahha.
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #49, by patronus_charm Revenge

8th February 2013:
Hello Gabbie, Iím here with your requested review!

It took longer than usual this time as I had to psych myself for the long chapter, but Iím ready now, so on with the review!

I felt it a little strange that this chapter is still based on the same night, as due to the long chapter length, I would have thought it would have moved on by now. Itís not that I donít like the party, it has a lot going on and the game of course, itís just that I was wondering whether it would ever go back to Hogwarts as Iím intrigued to see what happens there.

Yay more Blaise/Astoria action, Iíve given up on shipping her and Draco as I know itís a lost cause, so Iím excited for these two now. I picked up on the fact that she recognised his scent, she obviously knows him well enough, and has been close enough to him, to recognise it!

I liked that youíve kept Astoriaís characteristics the same, as sheís still the naÔve and innocent girl, from chapter 1. As some authors have the tendency to suddenly change their characters traits, yet you havenít done that, which is great as we then get familiar with the characters!

Iím loving the insight into the pureblood world again, as I find it fascinating, and their behaviour is similar to those with titles in Britain, so itís cool to see even if theyíre muggles they still act the same way. Itís probably where JK got her inspiration from.

Ooh we get a little clue as to what the family business is about, when Scorpius mentions, that they may be paying their father to get rid of him. Iím guessing heís involved in some hit man type of thing? I would have never predicted that, Iím still wishing it was muggle gardening tools, given the surname and all.

It was nice to see Astoriaís parents again, as they are rather unusual characters, and interesting to read, so I hope they pop up again!

I saw Thaddeus in another story as well, and it surprised me as it was a rather unusual name. Does it have some magical or mythological meaning behind it? Or is it something else?

Another great chapter Gabbie!

Author's Response: HellO!

Hey, there doll. Its always nice getting your lovely reviews and welcome back! :3
If I could go back and change things I would probably make this the next day or a few weeks later but I'd tried that angle and it didn't work out for some reason. But anyway, the children do go back to Hogwarts soon but not for a long while. Horrible things happen in between that and then. Awful, terrible things.
I think quite a few people stopped shipping her with Draco by this point. There's so much fun writing Astoria/Blaise though, I really like seeing them together. And she's attracted to him too, which would explain why she was so interested in his scent. ;)
I can't change Astoria, she would get mad at me and hit me. She's the sort of character that slowly changes over time and I couldn't rush that.
Whoo! Writing pureblood culture is really fun, I can't realy get over it, its the details and the haughty lifestyle that really captures my attention. But it does remind you of titled jerks--I mean, people back in the day, right? We had socialites like that in America too. :D
Hahah, the Greengrass family secret will be known, don't worry about that. It has nothing to d with gardening tools. :D
Oh, Thaddeus is Blaise's father's name. I'm not sure if it has anything special behind it, I just like the way it sounds. Blaise Thaddeus Zabini.
I could say it all day and not get bored...
But I'm perverted so, yeah.
Anyhoo! Thanks for coming back!
Much love,

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Review #50, by patronus_charm A Force of Wills

4th February 2013:
Hey Gabbie it's me spreading the love with reviews!

Can I just say that the first line was great! I mean 'A parade of wild horses' created so much imagery it was fantastice, and I never thought of using that, but it was a great analogy, so kudos for that ;) And then describing the Malfoy family as blonde statues, it's exactly how they are, cold hearted and blonde haired!

I feel rather sorry for Astoria due to her not having any friends, and having to have such protective siblings, and being forced to hang out with mean purebloods! I hope some happiness comes her way, as I hate to see someone have such a miserable life!

I would love to know more about Astoria's background, as to why she's a halfblood. As we know relatively little about her parents other than her fathe's involved in some dodgy business, so having that extra info will mean we know Astoria better:)

I did find at times that the sentences were a little awkward such as this one - 'as she was not remotely who he had wanted.' If you just rephrase that, it will sound a lot better, and improve the flow as you won't have to reread it!

And yay the games back! I know it's kinda weird that I like it, but it does make for some very interesting storylines and it was really good plot idea! And the game also meant that Astoria and Draco had to kiss, I do ship them so that was nice, but I wish Draco would be a little nicer to Astoria, as she's so nice and lovely, but hey maybe he'll change? Well at least Astoria and I want the same things from him.

Hahahhaha that line from Zabini saying he was very fond of cake, it was just so unexpected it made it so funny! I love Zabini as well, as he's very different to how I've usually seen him, so it was nice to get a different perspective of him. Now I've got pictures of him eating cake in my head, that's kind of weird:/

And yay more Zabini/Malfoy rivalry it's so funny to watch, as they seem to competing for untirely different reasons. I really want to know who will come out as victor! And I hope that Draco doesn't destroy their family too much, as he can't be that evil, can he?

Well I'm supporting Blaise/Astoria at the moment, but I guess that can all change, another great chapter! Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, thanks for spreading the love with the reviews. It makes me happy and very bigheaded to see you here reading this after I asked you to! Right? Huh? *Ahem*
I liked the first line too, it really sums up the entire chapter. So many unexpected things happening all around them that they can't control really makes me giggle. Haughty purebloods getting a taste of reality and yes, the Malfoy's are very cold and very hard. But they can't give up in the company of their fellow evil...I mean, lovely guests. :D
The entire thing with Astoria and her lack of friends actually comes up later on in the story, as does her being half-blood. There's so much darkness around the Greengrass family themselves so you'd have to keep reading it to discover it all. :D
And please, in the future, don't hate me if you do.
I'll go through and fix those sentences, I'd been thinking of editing this soon. :p But I've got a million WIP's to do and well, that sucks.
Yeah, its weird that you like the game but admitting to being a tad perverted never hurt anyone, yes? :3 That's mainly why I wrote that game scenario. But shshshs, don't tell anyone! :D
Ooh, you should probably not ship Astoria and Draco. At all. Not only does she hate him but he wants her for the wrong reason and well, it doesn't turn out so well for him. :D
He won't be any nicer to her.
I'm sorry.
This doesn't fall into canon, does it? HAHA.
Zabini is an oddity, isn't he? But so much fun to write for! And he really loves sweets, so picture him eating so much cake if you must!
Ah, the Zabini/Malfoy battle will continue but not in the way you think. :D
Draco's as nasty as he seems. >:D
Thanks for reading!
Much love,

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