Reading Reviews for A Force Of Wills
89 Reviews Found

Review #26, by AlmostInvisible  Bound

18th September 2013:
I've never really been much of a shipper, especially uncanon ships, and neither have I ever been one for Hogwarts Era fics but this story has given me a new look on things.
You characterization is amazing, the characters themselves seem so real, it's awesome. You have made something great. It's a real shame that some people haven't read this fic because they are missing out on an adventure.
Thank you and update soonly. :)

Author's Response: Hello!

*Blush* Well, this is a really great surprise! Its nice to meet you, I'm Gabbie! Gosh, for a while I was thinking that no one was really reading this fanfic because there hasn't been a lot of reviews for it in a long time but this just made me so happy. I could almost cry! D':
Bwhaha, I have an idea for what happens next but a certain blonde boy is going to get in the way. Hehehehe.
You know, I haven't been much of a shipper myself but I LOVE George/Angelina and made two stories with them on my page because they're my bias. Hahahaha.
I'm really glad that you like this story, it really means a lot that I've switched you over or helped you get into something you'd never really liked before. Or something? Hahah.
Oh, stop. These characters are so HARD to write for, trust me...this chapter did NOT come to me easily. I cried and ate a lot of chocolate writing this one and thank Merlin it turned out all right in the end. Phew!
I think there are so many fics out there that mine sort of gets pushed aside but I'm grateful for every review or read I get, it makes me feel really honored. :)
Thanks so much for your review!
Much love,

P.S.: I have no internet at home so updates will be really slow and I have five other stories that need updates its gonna be awhile. D':

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Review #27, by CassiePotter Denial

21st July 2013:
GABBIE THIS WAS INCREDIBLE. I can't stand ASTORIA'S family, though! They're so awful, it really just makes me want to go and pull Stori and Blaise out of there so they'll be safe!
Speaking of Stori and Blaise, I JUST HAD SO MANY FEELINGS READING THEM TOGETHER IN THIS CHAPTER. BLASTORIA NEEDS TO HAPPEN. It's kind of ironic that she really realizes her feelings for him now after she's made that agreement with her father. Hopefully she can get out of it! But will she really marry Blaise??? I wasn't expecting that at all! Especially because they're so young!

"Astoria had to bow her head, feeling the ugly emotion pulsing in her blood with a sadness that made her fingers shake...Blaise wasn't doing this because he loved her."

Please don't let this be true! You're so good at portraying all of Stori's emotions that sometimes I can't tell if he really does love her or not! I want him to so badly, but I also can't help but believe everything Stori says... Why do you have to go and mess with my emotions like this? ;)
I was also really worried that Astoria's mother and sister were going to hurt Blaise or even Stori! The Greengrass family is just so scary! I don't blame Stori for wanting to get out of there!
I hope she says yes to Blaise, but I really can't tell if she will or not! I know everything's not going to work out for her, though... You're just too good at torturing your characters! And there's still Malfoy to worry about...
I can't wait for more of your wonderful work to read! It was so nice to see my dear Blaise again, too! I'm updating TFD next, but since I've been so busy lately, I haven't had much time to work on it. Hopefully I can get it up soon, though! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, sorry that its taken me so long to get back at you! Thanks for coming back to this, you're the best reviewer in the world you know! ;)
The Greengrass family will continue to be terrible, there's really no helping it! I think with them, all of their secrets are at a risk of being brought into light and they're not sure how to cover it up and the cracks are starting to show.
Astoria still doesnt' want to admit that she's in love with Blaise even though she sort of accepted it in this chapter. Part of the issue is with what she had to do in order to protect him and yet...Blastoria is so lovely. I swear I got all mushy writing theri scenes and who doesn't like reading about Blaise? *Squeals*
I knew the proposal would throw you off! I think its going to play a major role in how their relationship plays out and the fact that you're not sure about Blaise's feelings really just makes you wonder, doesn't it?
Bwhaha, the mystery of Blaise...I can't really tell if he loves her or not sometimes through Astoria's eyes but the truth will reveal itself sooner or later. I'm evil and like torturing you, I think its so funny imagining what your face looks like as you read this story. >:D
When I wrote that scene with Emily and their mother, I wasn't sure what was going to happen to be honest. Tempers were flying in all directions and I was like, "God, I hope they don't draw wands..." LOL
Astoria and Blaise need to have a slight talk in the next chapter and then there is that Malfoy boy we have to worry about. I sure do have some evil plans for all three of these characters...mwhahahahahahaha.
I hope you get some time to update your stories soon! I don't have internet for a while so I won't be able to update my work as regularly as I'd like.
Expect Albus soon though! :D
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #28, by LilyLou Purebloods

4th July 2013:
LilyLou here with your Requested Review!

Okay, major points!

-You're thoroughly descriptive. You add a lot of details about everything, giving your story more depth and length. You create a picture in my mind; as if I were really there, as Astoria. The imagery is amazing in this story.

-You tend to write run-on sentences. If there's one thing you seem to love, it's the word AND. You use it quite often, and while it's okay in some places, of course, if overused, it can make your writing look poor. You're an amazing writer, as I said in my last point with how detailed you are, but maybe if you would cut down on the ands, it would be a little better! In my eyes, anyways. Some may disagree.

-I do love the relationship between Scorpious and Astoria. They take the same view on the purebloods as well as many other things. They share a very good sibling relationship! Well done writing that, it can be a bit difficult to stick with.

-Just a warning, though I'm sure that this has been pointed out, some people are not the biggest fan of the whole "Killing Myself" attitude you've placed on Astoria, and it seems Blaise has that as well. I don't have a problem with it at all, but some may. I think that it helps you see how she truly hates her way of life, and maybe Blaise does as well.

-Though you write him with amazing technique, I have to say I don't like Draco's character. I don't see him being so... forceful. That's totally my opinion, and while I see many purebloods in this way, such as Rabastan Lestrange and Crabbe, I just don't see Draco like that. Just my opinion!

Your story looks really good, and I hope this helps with whatever questions you had!

Keep writing!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with this review so quickly, its always a nice surprise! :D
Bwha, thanks for the compliment on detail, I always think I put in too much but I can hardly help myself, I really just like making sure the scene is described well enough so that the readers can follow along without any problems. And its always better if you can sit there and be completely engrossed in the backgrounds and characters.
Oh, I've got this horrible thing with run on sentences and especially for the beginning of this story in particular. I'll have to go through and fix those, I've just been so busy that I haven't had time to get that done but I will sooner or later.
Scorpious and Astoria have a very good relationship right NOW hahaha but they do agree on alot of things that their family might not approve of. I don't have an older brother so if I did, I'd want him to be as funny and overprotective as Scorpious and sort of made him out to be what I'd always wanted. And plus, its always fun having siblings argue for me in a story so I made sure that they got along first before going into all of that.
I haven't gotten any comments on Astoria's "killing myself" attitude, other than that its sort of funny and relatable. I do understand what you mean but she isn't at all serious, just being moody and sort of a brat when she's thinking like this. Being in the room with purebloods doesn't help matters.
You're not supposed to like Draco at all! Hahaha. He's not the hero of this story and I don't want you falling in love with him! Hahhaa. I think of him more as a bully that wants what he wants when he wants it so I picture him using more force. I always have so I don't really know why...but anyhoo, that's just me! :D
Thanks for coming and feel free to stop by again!
Much love,

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Review #29, by marauderfan Half and Half

4th July 2013:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

First of all, your descriptions are quite good. You've very accurately portrayed the stuffy pureblood clique and the Malfoys' fancy manor, and all the antiquated traditions Astoria is forced to adhere to and hates (like being married off early as if it's the 1800s.)

I appreciated Astoria's distaste for it all - her sarcasm is really fun to read! I think its nice how she and her siblings are all kind of on the same page as far as hating the superficial pureblood gatherings, too. (Speaking of her siblings, you mention that Astoria is the only half blood in the house, what about her brother and sister? Are they her half siblings?)

There are a couple of things you could do with your sentence structure that I think will help the story flow better. First of all some of your sentences run-on a bit, they seem like separate thoughts connected by an "and", for example:

"Will you stay with me and spare me the horror of being alone with Malfoy and his nasty little friends? His ego can grow so big that we'd suffocate." Astoria said and her older brother laughed and she asked slyly, "or are you going to see your girlfriend?"

I don't think the two bits of dialogue need to be in the same sentence. You could try something like this: "...we'd suffocate," Astoria said, and her older brother laughed. She asked slyly, "Or are you going to see your girlfriend?"

Another thing you could work on is maybe clarifying some of the subjects/objects. This paragraph in particular I had to read a couple of times to figure out who the word "she" is referring to - Astoria or Samantha Travers:

Travers... Astoria thought with disgust. That was a name that she had heard quite often from her fathers' contacts, her father was a Death Eater and had had a nasty habit of murdering his wives shortly after they were married to get his claws on their dowry.

Hopefully I'm not coming across as too mean or picky! ;) Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for stopping by with your review, its always nice to get one and so soon too! You're way better than I am when it comes to this stuff, i'm always at least a week late because I'm so busy. :p
Anyhoo, thanks for the compliments! I tried to make this story as detailed as possible so that when you're all reading this, you don't feel as if you can't follow along. And details are great, you're able to set up a scene much better that way if you give alot of information here and there.
As for Astoria's distaste for the life, I had never pictured her as enjoying it. And her sarcasm his hilarious to write so adding that in was just really fun! Her siblings have their own views on it though, her brother is just as disgusted by it as she is and their sister rather likes the idea. Hahahah. As for her being the only half blood, that's only one in many mysteries when it comes to this story. You'd have to keep reading to figure it all out, nothing is what it seems! :D
I know all about my run-on sentences and some paragraphs do need to be corrected, I just haven't had a chance to get to it. Real life sucks! >:(
But I'll get to those eventually.
Anyway, thanks for coming to this and this story is about 18 chapters long, I have no plans in stopping anytime soon! :D
Much love,

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Review #30, by CambAngst Purebloods

4th May 2013:
Hi, Gabbie!

Such a tense (intense?) chapter! The existential angst was just dripping from every pore on Astoria's body in this one. She seemed to wander back and forth between angry and horrified, with a lot of misery thrown in for good measure. The physical description of her fainting was really well done, I thought, and it went a long way toward showing just how disgusted she feels at Draco and all of his pureblood friends.

Kudos for keeping all of your point of view changes correct. I doubt it was the easiest thing to do with so many substantial characters all vying for attention in this one.

The dynamic between Draco and Blaise was fascinating. Zabini comes off as quite the gentleman in this chapter, but Draco seems to fear him a bit. All of the others do, actually. I'm curious to find out why that is, since he's rarely portrayed as being powerful or menacing.

Astoria's brother seems solidly on her side, but it's a little harder to figure out her sister. Maybe it's just that her sister is older, or the fact that her sister's social aims are rather different from Scorpius and Astoria. Emily obviously adores Astoria and is very protective of her, but the things she wants for Astoria don't seem to be the same things that Astoria wants for herself.

You've really got me going now, trying to figure out what this Greengrass family business is all about. If her father is soliciting business from Lucius Malfoy during the Dark Lord's second rise to power, that suggests that it's not entirely wholesome. This private dormitory of Astoria's also suggests that her family either has some lingering influence at Hogwarts or holds some dark secrets, one or the other.

The final encounter between Draco and Astoria capped off a very tense chapter with some real intensity. The contrast between the disdain Astoria feels for Draco and her physical reactions to his advances couldn't be much stronger. Her body is betraying her in a thousand little ways. Draco comes off like a **massive** creeper in this, but he's also clearly so fascinated with Astoria that he's willing to associate with a girl that his parents would see as completely beneath him. That makes it pretty obvious that his interest in her is more than just physical. He can't comprehend the fact that she rejects his advances, and it makes him want her that much more. I have to imagine that fireworks are going to ensue once they return to Hogwarts...

I only had one substantial critique of your writing, and it's the fact that sometimes it was a little challenging to keep track of who was doing of saying what because of all the "he's" and "she's" involved. The scene in Draco's salon was a good example. At one point you have three distinct "he's" -- Draco, Zabini and Scorpius -- and two distinct "she's" -- Astoria and Emily -- and you're occasionally mixing and matching which person the pronouns are referring to in the same sentence. It's something you'll want to watch closely with that many characters in the room at the same time.

Aside from that, your writing was lovely. Once I got into the final section with Draco and Astoria, the story was barreling downhill to the end. Nicely done!

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, I'm sorry that its taken so long for me to get back to you. I've been really busy with boring real life issues and well, that sucks but now I have enough time. So, this of course is a monster of a review and its going to take me a minute to answer! I'm going to apologize beforehand if I can't respond back to everything that you've said. D':
I think with Astoria fainting I had hinted at it in the previous chapter with her corset being too tight and the effects of all that. It wasn't just her nerves getting to her after a while but it was a scene that I liked doing!
But I think anyone would have been disgusted to be around Draco and his friends after a while.
When it came to the different and various POVs and characters, I sort of died a little, it was really difficult to get that part right. I rewrote it quite a bit! :D
It was horrible! :D
The dynamics between Draco and Blaise was really something I wanted to show. There's alot of mystery around Blaise himself and perhaps some actual fear from Draco and the others too.
He's not quite "normal" by their standards, but you'd have to keep reading to find out all about that.
Anyway, when it comes to the siblings and Astoria, you are correct when it comes to Emily and her reactions to what's going on. Her desires are very different so she can't quite understand her sister or brother very well but she'd never turn her back on them precisely.
Bwhaha, the Greengrass Family Secret will come into play later on, I promise. Actually, by chapter five or six you should pretty much have a guess of what it is.
Its not anything pretty either and of course, her father trying to go into business with Lucius Malfoy is a huge tip off. But things don't exactly go as planned at this dinner party, hehehehe. Also, with Astoria having her own dorm, there are daker reasons behind it and I hope you have fun guessing what they are. :D
Ah, the final encounter between lovely Draco adn my hissing Astoria! That's one of my favorite scenes in this story actually, just because it really plays on what you can't control and what society expects.
Astoria may hate Draco but her body doesn't exactly know what to do and of course, he's pretty skilled at what he does. ;)
Bwhaha, you think Draco is a creeper now? Just wait until later on! It gets worse and I think his desire for Astoria causes him to make risks that he would have never considered before. It makes him very dangerous.
And he's an arrogant bloke, I think. A girl beneath him telling him no? How can he stay away? Its like the ultimate test!
But if I were a guy, I'd leave Astoria alone, she's kind of scary. :D
Argh! I know just what you mean by all the mistakes you mentioned towards the end of this. I'd been meaning to clean this story up alot but haven't gotten around to it, but thanks for pointing it out! You've saved me a ton of trouble. D':
Anyhoo, thanks for coming back to this! I really can't wait to get back into Detox and oh, there's another Draco Malfoy one-shot on my page that you might or might not want to read. You've been warned. Hahahaha.
You're a dear and I'll hopefully be stalking your work pretty soon!
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #31, by CassiePotter Bargains

9th March 2013:
Astoria's father is really scary!!! I don't know how you manage to write him so well, because his character is so layers and mysterious and tricky, but he gave me chills! I don't know how someone could be that cruel to their own daughter! He makes Dezzy's father look lovely! Their conversation was terrifying, because he was just so nonchalant about what was going to happen to her, and I thought for a moment that he would kill either Stori or Blaise, just to spite her! I'm really glad he didn't hurt Stori, but I can't say the same thing for Blaise yet, and that makes me really nervous!!!
And whatever she agreed to... I have a sneaking suspicion it has to do with Draco and that also makes me nervous! She's going to have him to deal with when she goes back to school...
You were so sweet for dedicating this chapter to me! Good luck with everything during your hiatus, and I hope to hear from you every once and a while if you can ever get back to the forums or the archives! Your writing is fabulous, and you've been so wonderful as the only person on here to review everything I've written! I'll really miss you my dear! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello! D':

Waagh, Cassie this is the last review that I might get from you and it makes me really sad, I'm going to miss you!
I'm really glad that you enjoyed this chapter, it took me ages to write it. I think I went through at least five or six different versions of this and none of them stuck. One draft was even of Astoria confessing to all her secrets to a half naked Blaise! You can only imagine how that one didn't work out...
Maximus Greengrass is perhaps the hardest character to write. I didn't want to write him as overly cruel so I settled on something more calculating and subtle. He did turn out to be really scary though and I had to pause every so often because he's just so complex! I think he looks at all of his children as a business arrangement, he's always one step ahead of each of them and its sort of creepy.
I think Astoria would switch places with Dezzy in a heartbeat. Hahahaa. Oh, yes, their conversation was horrible but it was the easiest part of this chapter to write because I'd already had it in my mind for months. It felt great to finally let it out! :D
You weren't really sure what he was going to do since he appeared so casual and at ease and I think that's what disturbed me the most. A very awful person can sit there and bargain, threaten and hurt their own child you know. D':
I do believe that Maximus wanted to hurt Astoria but she was able to show no fear and bargain with him. Plus, there's something from her that he needs done and as for Blaise, well, he has plans for him too. D':
Bwhaha, whatever Astoria agreed to is foul indeed and most likely does involve Draco, it is not going to be pleasant when she gets back to school. >:D
So much Blastoria! I was saving that last little section for you! I knew that you would love that and went, "Yep. Cassie Potter will really enjoy this!" and I'm glad that you did. :D
I would dedicate the entire story to you since you're literally the only constant reviewer I have for this story! Hahahhaa.
I will be popping back as much as I can during my hiatus and I hope to keep updating for you!
I'm going to miss all of your stories, I think you're a fabulous writer. :) Never stop doing it!
Thank you so much for being so kind and reading all of my stories, it means so much.
I think there's a Draco Malfoy one-shot that's just begging for some love. ;)
Much love,

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Review #32, by patronus_charm Risks

2nd March 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with your review!

So Astoria and Blaise are off to London then? I liked that mention about her not knowing what all these strange muggle things are, it just made me laugh for some reason, and you really caught the hustle and bustle of London well.

It was nice to be out in Diagon Alley, as so far the story has been confined to peopleís houses, so it felt almost strange to be venturing out into daylight. I liked how you wrote about the darkness there though, as it seemed really accurate, and you could sense how they would be fearing the death eaters where ever they walked.

Haha poor Astoria! I was almost as shocked as she was when Blaise said she was his fiancťe! That was rather unexpected, but I guess Tom would have been suspicious if they had asked for a room otherwise. I liked Tomís appearanceís it seemed very in character, and very him.

Blaise seemed to have her character down well though. It is a trait of hers to go running away from her problems, and itís probably due to her being naÔve, so it was interesting to see other people recognised, and got annoyed by it too.

I liked that little scene at the end, with Astoria hugging Blaise, it was just really sweet, and it felt as if it was needed. It just seemed rather natural to me, and it was nice to see it helped reconcile them, after their fight! Ooh I forgot to say that when Blaise called her darling, that again was lovely, it just made me aw in side, as you can see that they're starting to develop feelings for each other.


Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and indeed, Blaise and Astoria are in Muggle London, although briefly. Haha.
Astoria knows a bit about Muggle things from reading Muggle novels but not nearly enough for her to understand anything. I thought I'd play on that for a minute, it is sort of funny. :D
Yeah, I know, most of the story takes place in other people's houses and I got sick of it myself. But due to me not wanting to rush the story, I sort of just went with it but here it is, Diagon Alley at night! And later on, during the day when Blaise...well, you'll figure that out soon enough. I'm not going to spoil it for you.
Mwhahahaha. >:D
Fearing Death Eaters is the least of their worries for right now. Bwhaha, Astoria being called Blaise's fiance just about made me die laughing because I could picture her face so well! Haha, torturing her is so much fun.
Tom would have been suspicious but keep your eye on him anyway. He shows up more than once.
Blaise is a very observant person and he's been around Astoria for a few days to know her pretty well by now. Yep, Astoria does run away from her problems alot and it was a good thing that he pointed it out to her.
Astoria hugging Blaise was a major tipping point in their relationship I think. To clear the air and to also hint that they're not thinking of one another as just a friend of course.
Blaise will call her darling more than once and whisper dirty things in her ear just cause he's mean like that. :D
Thanks for this lovely review!
Much love,

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Review #33, by patronus_charm Fear

26th February 2013:
Hello Gabbie, Iím here with your review!

I liked the fall out of Helena catching Blaise and Astoria together, as it involved a lot of tension, and anger, which is always fun to enjoy! Poor Astoria though, you could tell she had some insecurities when that argument was occurring, as she seemed to be doubting herself, due to her looks, blood and wealth.

I liked that Blaise had some backbone, as thatís always nice to see, and it makes for more interesting arguments. It was interesting that he had a go at his mother for spending their little money, I always assumed that they were wealthy, so this was a nice twist.

Aw and he bought all of Astoriaís school things, how lovely! The banter between those two is just really sweet :í)

So Astoria tried to get away, and Blaise had to appear of course. Though I love having scenes with those two, I sort of wanted her to get away, so I could see more of her home, and learn more about her family as thatís still bothering me not knowing.

I donít blame her for trying to leave though! Having to put with Blaise calling her a cactus, and talking about her panties, then Helena. It sounds almost as bad as her own home!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: HellO!

I'm just now getting to you and this response and you'll have to forgive me. I had some grown up things to handle and I was eating candy and watching horror movies...
Anyhoo! Astoria did have alot of insecurities while listening to Blaise and his mother harping at one another. I think they were really powerful because her feelings for Blaise are becoming something she can't fight. And plus, its really fun! >:D
Blaise isn't really as polite as he can make himself out to be and he's made it more than clear that he despises his mother. And for good reason of course! I would say that the Zabini's are wealthy but not in the sense that they have an unlimited amount like, say, that darn Draco and his family. That's really what he meant and since his mother doesn't work and they're basically living off their savings...well, it can get rough.
And yes, Blaise bought Astoria's school things, cause he's just amazing like that. And their banter is SO much fun! Like, seriously. HAHAH.
You may get your wish by the point when you do, you will not like that Astoria is back at her home. She ran away for a reason, after all.
The not knowing is making me laugh at you! Mwhahahhahahahahaha.
Cause I'm EVIL. ;)
*Hands fat kitten* There, there.
Bwhaha, Blaise's teasing isn't really why she wanted to leave but he is rather annoying, isn't he? Hehehe.
Nah, the Zabini Estate is paradise compared to her home.
The Greengrass's are insane...
And I say that loosely.
Anyhoo, I'll re-request eventually!
Thanks again lovely.
Much love,

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Review #34, by patronus_charm Exposed

24th February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with your review!

I really liked the brief hints you gave about Astoriaís home life. It sounds pretty horrible! The way her father could so easily trace her down, with his contacts, and the fact that she was worried she could be locked up for a whole year. I really love the dark background youíve given to this story, as itís just so much more intriguing, and fun!

Iím so glad that I read that one-shot about Astoria hitting Draco with the book, as now I can get the meaning behind it.

It was also nice to find out why she had her private dorm, as that had always puzzled me, given the lack of money the family had. Itís almost as if itís her bunker, the way she talks about the safety it gives her. I really wish we can learn even more about her fatherís business as it sounds so dark, and mysterious.

I almost forgot that Astoria had another brother Leo, and that he died. Speaking of siblings will Daphne Greengrass ever appear? Or is she just not in this story? Either way I donít mind, as her family is complex and cool enough, so itís fine as it is.

I really liked that conversation that she and Blaise had. It meant that we could learn so much more about them, and they got closer of course as well. I rather like your dialogue, as though it was practically the entire chapter, you still manage to maintain my interest, and it flowed really well, as well.

I canít wait to see what itís like when they go back to school, as I canít imagine itís going to be that easier for Astoria, after that night at Malfoys! I can see where Blaise was coming from, so heís bemusement about it, is understandable! It is nice that she still wants to talk to him there, as it shows how much she likes him.

I thought the ending was great, with Blaise talking about her kisses, then Helena walking in, I almost donít want to know what her reaction is, as Iím guessing itís going to be bad!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, welcome back, its always nice seeing you here of course. :3
The Greengrass family home is not a really pleasant place and I'm glad that you were able to pick up on that. There are so many risks to what she's done and plus, I like making a dark atmosphere! Angst is what I love after all.
Bhwhah, that one-shot was pretty hilarious wasn't it? It was just a quick mention of course but I couldn't help but add it in there.
I would describe Astoria's private dorm as more of a prison but of course, there are alot of mysteries behind it. You learn more about her father's business in teh current chapter that I've been lazt about writing. :D
Hahaha. You've got a ways to go before you get to that one though!
Yep, Astoria had another brother Leo, but there's alot of mystery behind his death and no, Daphne Greengrass is not in this story at all. I didn't need her and the family was already established before hand. :D
I was sort of worried about this chapter because it was nothing but dialogue and I'm glad that you were able to stay into it.
It won't be pleasant when they go to school but lots of awful things happen to Blaise and Astoria in between then so you'll have to wait and see! >:D
Astoria will deny her feelings for Blaise for a long time up until the last chapter that I have up. :D
And even then, she won't admit it really.
That line from Blaise is a favorite from alot of people who've read this and it was nothing really that I planned. Blaise is just...he just controls the story sometimes! :D
Helena's reaction won't be good! I shall re-request for you! :D
Much love and thanks so much!

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Review #35, by CambAngst Half and Half

23rd February 2013:
Hi, there! I have to admit I cheated a bit in responding to your status because I've been meaning to check this out for a while anyway. This just turned out to be a good opportunity!

I really, really liked Astoria's sense of humor. OK, it's not exactly a sense of humor so much as it's a passionate, deep-seated loathing of this pure blood society that her parents and sister aspire to be part of, but the biting sarcasm and "oh, god, please kill me now" feelings of dread that she's constantly feeling are pretty humorous to me. I plucked out a three of my favorite Astoria reflections from the story:

But she found that if she pitched herself out of her window, they would only want the dress back and hope that her blood hadnít stained the satin material too badly. - Poor kid!

And it also couldnít change the fact that she was already awaiting her father so that he could inspect her and her sister Emily and their older brother Scorpious to make sure that they were flawless, perfect and bitterly happy. - I think anyone who's ever been forced to attend a "society" wedding against his or her will can easily relate.

Astoria wondered what poison tasted like. - This one completely cracked me up.

I thought your descriptions from the moment they arrived at Malfoy Manor were fantastic. The stifling, museum-like, old-money opulence of the place came through loud and clear. Lucius with his fake courtliness and Narcissa with her cold, scornful snobbishness were perfectly in character.

I really liked Scorpius. You're gone more than a little AU with Astoria's family, but I really don't mind. It's kind of sweet to think of her naming her only son after his uncle, although between that and the fact that this Scorpius is dating a muggle girl, I get this terrible feeling of foreshadowing...

The canon Slytherin kids and their hangers-on were pitch-perfect for me. Pansy and Nott are both nasty pieces of work and Crabbe and Goyle are little more than Draco's big, ugly cheerleading section. Zabini had some interesting twists on him, which I'm looking forward to finding out more about. He definitely isn't another one of Draco's sycophants. There's some genuine dislike there. Perhaps a bit of rivalry.

Lastly, there's Draco. I had a hard time putting my finger on it, but I think his interest in Astoria goes beyond just tormenting her. It's all the little signs you threw out. The glances that went on just a bit too long. The way he stares at her throat. The way that they wind up paired in this game, which I'm at least 90% sure is rigged, seeing as how all of the girls wound up with the "passive" squares.

The next chapter is going to be very, very interesting. If I had to bet, I'm betting that Draco winds up getting hexed, slapped or possibly kicked in the jewels. But I'd need pretty good odds to want to bet on it.

I did notice two relatively minor typos:

Scorpious had an attitude that suggested that if he could murder himself on the spot, he would do it in an instance. - in an instant.

ďBut Mum, weíre going over that insufferable pratís mansion... - over to that insufferable prat's mansion...

The best constructive criticism I can offer is mostly a matter of taste. If it were me, I would probably combine some of the shorter paragraphs together into longer ones. For me, at least, I think it would improve the flow of the story. In my mind, there's always an implied pause or change of topic whenever a new paragraph starts. And that happens so often in this chapter that it wasn't as easy as it could have been for me to get into the flow of the story.

I think you're spinning a very interesting tale here. I shall return! ;)

Author's Response: Hello!

*Fangirls* Hello there, welcome to my SUPER ANGST story. I'm glad that you had actually meant to stop by and read this, as it doesn't really get much review (Randomly I mean) so this is nice. :D
Bwha, Astoria has a sense of humor but due to the circumstances, its more of what you said. Just a deep seated loathing and hatred of the torture that she's going to be forced to endure for more than a few chapters. Hahaha.
I had soo much fun coming up with her responses/thoughts/misery so thanks for enjoying it as much as I did. :D
Oh, I have this obsession with Malfoy Manor and I'm really into detail so I wanted the first impression of it to be something you all could really remember. And plus, its just fun imagining a bunch of stuffy purebloods in a glittering, pretty place when we all know how they're just so awful underneath. ;)
Lucius and Narcissa worried me, they're not characters that I'd tried to write before this story so I wasn't sure if I'd gotten them right.
You know, I'd thought of changing this to an AU since I'd changed quite a bit with Astoria and her family but might hold off. Quite a few people enjoy my Scorpius (I'll probably dig deep and correct his name too while I'm at it).
But his romance with his Muggle girlfriend really doesn't end well. But I haven't even written that yet so you're sense of dread is very accurate! >:D
The Slytherin kids had me worried too, there was alot of personalities to work with and I got worried that I didn't pull it off. Pansy and the rest were easy but the character I wanted to focus on, aside from darling Draco was Blaise. ;) I mean, at this point, Zabini.
There's no love between him and Draco at all and I'm glad that you and so many others picked up on that. :D
Heheh, oh, Draco! I love writing him and I'll admit he's slightly exaggerated but his interest in Astoria isn't simply based on tormenting her. There are other reasons for his interest in her, most of them sort of uhm, naughty but half of them actually genuine.
Bwhaha, the game is rigged. I won't lie and say it isn't and do you know how many people actually liked the idea of it? How naughty of them, I hope they don't actually play it though...
HAHAHA. Lots happens in the next chapter but don't worry, Draco gets his soon after in more ways than one. ;)
Astoria is no passive little thing. She's like a horrible, vicious nightmare! :D
D': I'll have to look at those typos and fix them, I'd been meaning to clean up a bit with alot of stuff but haven't had the time. :p
I shall take your CC to heart though! :D
Thank you!
I hope you return! :D
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #36, by patronus_charm Blaise

22nd February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím finally here with your review, as I have a laptop again :D

I liked the description of Blaiseís house being like a dusty museum. I always imagined purebloodís houses looking like that, as theyíre so big, theyíre bound to be underused in some way, so itís perfectly like a museum.

I liked that we got to see some of Blaiseís family, especially his mother, as she always appeared interesting to me in the books, due to her multiple husbands, and she certainly lived up to my expectations, with her blatant preference to Blaiseís sister.

The whole Zabini family is extraordinarily strange. Blaiseís motherís many husbands, is obvious enough. Then thereís his sister, whoís relatively unknown, and you can tell thatís she probably one of those pureblood princesses, due to her mother preferring her. Then thereís Blaiseís fatherís study, which sheís not allowed in. And Blaise himself is rather odd, and Iím glad that Astoria thinks so too. I mean the way his mother described him bringing girls there before, sounded a little strange.

I have a small Britpick, no one really says jackass, they would probably say git instead :)

The that fight, I didnít expect that to come! My dreams of Astoria/Blaise are sort of fading away now, but there was a great line from Blaise in there about him not being able to have children due to her. That made me laugh so much, and it seemed rather strange that someone like Blaise would be thinking of parenthood already.

Then then ending saved those dreams! Theyíre not completely back to the way they were before, but they do seem to be closer again, so yaya!

The only CCís I have are include more periods and breaks, and sometimes I saw a few random capital letters, but thatís a minor thing really.

I thought this was a great chapter, even if it did slightly ruin Astoria and Blaiseís relationship! I canít wait to find out more about his sister, as she sounds very intriguing!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and I'm glad that your laptop is not in your possession again. Its nice getting such a long and lovely review! :3
I think it makes sense for Blaise's home to be falling apart a little from underuse. The days where his own family used to host and party and have a limited amount of money is sort of fading away. He's still rich of course but not in the sense that he's like Draco or Pansy or any of the rest and it might have something to do with his horrid mother.
I'm glad that you liked her though, I do have fun writing Helena, she's just so awful. She does prefer his sister over him though and Blaise goes into more detail about that sometime down the line, though not quite so soon.
Blaise might talk about his mother's previous husbands and his own strange relationship with his mother/sister. I think Blaise is perhaps one of the strangest people I have in this story and its so much fun to write. Astoria notices that he's weird and she doesn't quite mind, as it throws her for a loop each time.
Ah, Blaise was sort of a skirt chaser, which was why he was bringing girls to the house. ;)
I shall remember that Britpick! D':
Bwhaha, Astoria and Blaise actually fight more than once and I didn't want to stray away from it. There's bound to be some tension between them at some point and haha, isn't Blaise funny? He actually doesn't like children but that was a funny line coming from him wasn't it?
I think that ending was supposed to leave you feeling that way. They're not quite right but they're getting to another point in their relationship. :3
I really hope you keep on reading as I re-request, I think you'll really love the next chapter. :D
Thanks so much!
Much love,

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Review #37, by patronus_charm The Zabini Estate

17th February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with you review!

Is it bad to say that Iím kind of relieved that weíve moved on from the Malfoy party. While it was great, I felt if there was another chapter there, it would have dragged on, and Iím also intrigued to see what kind of action happens at Zabiniís Manor!

I found Astoriaís thoughts about Blaise really adorable. You can tell that sheís starting to like him, but she doesnít want to admit it! I love this part of the relationship, as itís just so sweet to see one of them fall for the other. Also the way heís portrayed in Astoriaís mind, how could you not fall for him?

Then that whole scene when Astoria reveals that she ran away. Then Blaise touched her face, it was such an awing moment, and really well done. I just want them to get closer, as they would be so cute together. Iím waiting for that moment in anticipation so I hope that it happens soon!

I like how you keep on dropping hints at her fatherís job and family. Though we know that he is some sort of assassin, and bad things have happened to his relatives, we still donít know the details of it all. We also donít know why the Greengrasses are in such a bad financial state, and I canít wait to find out why. I think itís really good that youíve developed a sense of mystery, and tension surrounding these events.

I like how Blaiseís character is developing, and weíre getting a sense of who he is now. I think his dry sense of humour is great, and itís nice to have some comedy, in an otherwise dark story. Also the fact that he has a sibling is surprising, as I just imagined him to be an only child. I could sense there was tension in their relationship though, and it will be nice to see how thatís developed.

I thought this was an interesting chapter, and we got to know a lot more about Blaise and Astoria which was really nice, as I like to have a backstory to characters, as it feels as if we know them better that way! I think the only CC I can give is use more periods and breaks, but I can understand with a chapter this long, itís a pain to proof read!

-Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, thanks for coming back. I had gotten tired of writing the Malfoy's and the party myself but I hadn't gotten what I wanted in my earlier drafts which was why it took so long to get OUT of it. Hahhaa. But anyway, its always fun talking about Zabini and his life, eh? :)
I think you're going to be getting a feel for the way Astoria sees Blaise the more you go on in this story. With the way I write him, i just sort of turn into goo because, honestly, he's fantastic! :D
Bwhaha, they might have some trouble getting together, to be honest. But you'll see what I mean if you keep on reading! :D
I don't think you really get a grasp of the full Greengrass family and their secrets until waaay into the story. I never quite fully say what they do and why because I haven't gotten to that point but its fun guessing, right? :D
Blaise is a great character to write for, hard on some things but really fun! He's got so many layers and depth to him that you're never sure what he means or what he's trying to say. Hahahah. Or something.
Oh, yes, he has an older sister but while she's mentioned right now, you don't get the full scale of her evil until much later. :D
You shall get more Blastoria action later on (See how I shipped their names?!) and more backstory and such. This was a really long chapter but I haven't gotten to edit and such cause it sucks and its boring. And I've got other stuff to do. Hahahhaha.
Much love,

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Review #38, by FallenAmaranth Purebloods

15th February 2013:
Oh wow, right at the end there I could actually feel my own eyes well up slightly for Astoria, although I am slightly jealous that she gets to see my two favourite purebloods so much in one evening.

I think you've really managed to write Pureblood Society perfectly, exactly as I would imagine it to be. I mean, only people of that society could casually offer to have someone "go missing" or threaten to ruin a family with a few simple rumours.

I'm quite coming to like Emily, in a strange way, I mean she might be into the whole pureblood society shebang because she's desperate for a decent match and stuff, but I honestly think that she really cares about her whole family, and that might be a reason for her being so into it. I think she's quite tolerant too, especially in situations where Astoria would insult and threaten defensively, which I still love(it's good to see a bit of fire in a female character)

*Happy Dances* Blaise is such a lovely character! I'm so glad because I'd cry if he was disgustingly horrible! He shows a lot of respect for Astoria where the rest of them do not - in fact he's quite different from them all and it makes me wonder if they would be friends if none of them were purebloods or if it didn't matter, they don't appear to be a very close and caring group, and I think that's brilliant because I imagine purebloods to be mostly about their own 'survival' in the society.

Right now, I'm even more intrigued about the family secrets ;) and also about Astoria's prospects, I mean, she's clearly got Malfoy wanting to have her, but Blaise makes so many appearances that it starts to make me wonder..:D (also does he like her? I got that feeling, but then I wasn't sure)

I cannot stress how well this story is written :D It's fantastic!

~ Emily

Author's Response: Hello~!

*Blush* I didn't think I would be getting another review from you and especially not so soon! Thank you so much, I'm very flattered and just turning into a puddle of goo at your feet. Hahaaha.
I think in this chapter I'd wanted to show that pureblood society isn't as pretty and glamorous as people think it can be. Honestly, there's so much darkness underneath it all and Astoria has to really stay strong if she wants to make it.
Bwha, I always sort of saw Pureblood Society something quite nasty. Saying that you want to "dispose" of someone and spreading rumors here and there to ruin someone? That's what I always sort of figured went on in between the scenes.
Ooh, an Emily fan? I haven't many of those to be honest! I think I wrote her as the child that really does want to please their parents and make sure that everyone is happy. She's trying her hardest and she wants to have the sort of life where she can be comfortable. Yes, she is tolerant to a certain point with Astoria, who has a sharper mouth and less patience. I have to give my female leads some fire because otherwise, I would get bored, I can't stand it when a girl is weak and passive.
Oh, Blaise! He seems to have quite a few girls fawning over him for this story. I never pictured him as a bad character really, and I like the idea of an old-school gent. He's very polite, which might add why he's with the other purebloods, he's not quite as rude as he can be. But yes, to be honest, its all about appearances with them, I don't think they can really care for one another. Especially with the way I have the purebloods for this story, I mean, can you say that they're good for one another? Its like being in a cage of vipers! :D
You'll really enjoy the family secrets as they come out. I hope you like them, they're not very pleasant! ;)
With the way Malfoy is, I feel sorry for her. I mean, he's not at all pleasant and Blaise is the much better choice, though she has to keep her guard up with him too. You're never sure what he wants! :D
Hehehe, you'll find out if he likes her or not.
Thank you so much! *Hands fat kitten*
Much love,

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Review #39, by FallenAmaranth Half and Half

14th February 2013:
I promised you I'd stop by to drop off a review, and this story caught my eye(although I did click it before I'd even scrolled down to see the rest) and where better to start than the beginning?

I've never actually read a Draco/Astoria fic before, and this would be the first 'version' of Astoria that I've read so I can only compare her to my own idea of her, but she's exactly how I would have imagined her; living the pureblood life, being forced into the company of "leering old men and their nasty sons" - I loved that line.

I liked meeting her siblings, Scorpius and Emily. It was so clever to give her brother the name that she (canonically)gives her son, although her sister's name seems so normal next to Astoria and Scorpius - don't get me wrong, it's obviously such an amazing, fantastically awesome name(I'm not at all biased) and I think it fits her character very well :D

The mention of family secrets was so exciting! So yeah, I'm going to have to read some more :P Especially with Astoria being a half-blood and unaccepted by her peers, which is an interesting twist, I like it!

I liked how she described the 'private lounge' of Draco Malfoy whilst also describing what events had occurred there ;) and also giving the reader more information about Draco. I don't usually read stories about him being a 'womaniser' but I think you wrote him so well that it was absolutely perfect!

I loved Zabini, and his twinkling eyes xD (I always love Zabini)

This new game should be interesting! I look forward to reading it xD This is a fabulously written story, and you use such amazingly fantastic description and vocabulary. I envy you :P

- Emily

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, wow, hello there! :) I don't get many reviews for this story so this is really nice and its great to see you and all that stuff. ;D
There aren't alot of Draco/Astoria stories out there but you can read CambAngst's "Detox", its super amazing fantastic.
Like, seriously, its amazing.
Anyway, I had to give Astoria some fire, I really can't stand it when a female heroine doesn't have that. And plus, with what happens to her in this story, she'll need it. Like, alot. D':
Why has no one used Scorpius (Forgive the way its spelled throughout this story, its a typo I ran with like mad) as her brother before? It just really fit and well, honestly, where else could it have come from?! Emily's name does sound rather bland compared to her sibling's but her personality makes up for it I think. And she's actually quite different from them anyway so I think that her name sort of shows that too. Or something, right? Right?!!!
I dunno.
Yeah, there are family secrest. Like, awful, family secrets and it'd be nice if you kept on reading! :) It'd make me all happy and gooey.
The thing with Astoria being half-blood actually does come up sooner or later, I actually have to get to typing it...
Ooh, you like Zabini?! Well. This story is for you then, as you see him ALOT! ;)
I wonder why everyone likes that game? Are you guys just pervy?! Like me?! :D
Thank you so much, it really means alot, I just really never get that much on this story. I'm so happy now! :)
Much love,

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Review #40, by CassiePotter Sacrifices

14th February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Just a heads up, but there will probably be an absurd amount of me typing in all caps for this review...
So, Astoria's confessions to Blaise. You wrote that whole scene beautifully, and I loved how she wanted to talk to him and tell him everything, even if he couldn't talk back. She wants to own up to what she did, and what she's going to do, and I really respect her for that!
And then when he woke up and they were SO CUTE TOGETHER. BLAISE AND ASTORIA JUST MAKE MY HEART SMILE. You can tell how much they care about each other from the way you write them together, even if Astoria is convinced that he has another girl in mind. I'm not convinced, but I ship them like nobody's business so I think that's self-explanatory :) BUT THEY KISSED AND IT WAS AMAZING. But they're both still so weak and hurting, and I want them to be able to heal and be together and be happy!
Also, Astoria's mother was really harsh! She's a little scary! Like the way she was practically dragging her daughter away from Blaise, and how Stori heard her yelling at Emily. But I have a bad feeling that she's nothing compared to her husband!
AND DRACO AND THE END OF THE CHAPTER OH MY ROWLING. He just gives me chills because he's so creepy but it's awesome! You write him so, so incredibly, and I think it's because you give him this air of subtlety and mysteriousness. You're never exactly sure of what he'll do next, and I love that! It also makes me a little nervous, but I still love it.
ASOS is next for me, so I'll keep you in the loop about when that will be up! See you on the forums! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

*Blushes wildly* Oh, goodness, how do I leave a decent response for this? I thought the review you left me for "Loyalty" was blush-worthy but this one tops it! Gosh, I don't even know what to say! D':
I had to put that kiss in there, it was about ready to kill me from waiting this long to do it but it worked out better than I thought. I was so concerned that I didn't accomplish what I'd wanted but I know you must have fangirled all over the place just like I did! :D Whoo, I sort of had you in mind when I wrote that scene because I knew hwo much you'd been waiting on it. Not merely because I was thinking of snogging you of course. ;)
I thought that Astoria talking to Blaise really just set up this entire chapter. She wants so badly to do the right thing while doing what she has to do and the opening scene had been in my head for a few days before I wrote it down. :D
I hope that you respect her decisions later on for what she has to do! It shall not be pleasant.
Blaise and Astoria forever! Hahaha. I love writing them together, they seem to play on one another so well that their banter and interactions are just wonderful to write. At least when Blaise is being cooperative!
The other girl that she's worried about is something that might come up again but you'll just have to wait and see. :3
LOL! I wish I could make you a shirt with "Blastoria" on it. Does that sound good? Hahahah.
After Blaise and Astoria rest up, they'll have to face that kiss and what it meant. Neither of them might do it, depending on how they are at the time. But.did I blush while writing it! OHMYGOD, I sort of sat there and went, "Come on, make it sound good! Make it romantic and angsty and stop spacing out and getting embarrassed!"
I can't write kissing scenes without blushing, I mean, so much for being an adult, right? :D
Yeah, Astoria's mother is really scary in her own way. She's nothing at all compared to her husband, who we all will deal with in the next chapter...but they compliment one another in a way that's just plain wrong.
Draco, dear Draco! I really liked that last part because it really gave me the chills too. I know what he's going to do but you all don't and it really makes me go, "What on earth have I DONE?" Hahahaha. He's actually hard to write, I'm not even going to lie about that! I fear him.
Sometimes. ;)
You read it yesterday and it took you today to get your thoughts together?! Oh, my goodness, its This is Angelina all over again!! The FEELS!!! *Swoons*
Hope you stick around for this in the future, I really love your reviews. They just make me all giggly and such, I turn all gooey and think I'm amazing for the rest of the day. :D
Much appreciated.
Ooh, ASOS! Would LOVE to see it soon! Ah, expect the Misfits again in a bit, Audrey and Percy have stuff to work out. :p
Hehe. See you on the forums!
Much love,
Gabbie :)

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Review #41, by patronus_charm Greengrass

12th February 2013:
Hi Gabbie! Iím here with your review!

I liked that you started with Dracoís thoughts as it made a nice change, and I always love getting the perspective of another character, as I hate not knowing what theyíre thinking. As for his characterisation, I think his thoughts definitely captured his darkness and deepness, so yay for that!

Draco seems really keen to get Astoria, though Iím pretty sure itís for evil reasons rather than romantic ones! I liked how you showed Pansyís hurt at him leaving her, but hey she kind of brought into onto herself.

This line seemed a little old to me ĖĎ helpless woman being drugí, did you mean drunk, drugged or dragged, as I think thatís a typo! Also you mentioned Draco receiving spankings that sounded a little odd as well, as it gives off humorous connotations to me, and I think if you said beating it would sound better:)

It was interesting to learn about Dracoís childhood, as we donít really much about it, and I liked the little snippet, as it helped me understand him more as a character.

I liked the little information thing on Astoriaís father as it meant we can learn about him in just a little bit. His family does seem to have a lot of suspicious deaths, so I wonder whether thereís something unusual going on there?

I liked the ending of this, and it hopefully means more Astoria/Blaise time, which I missed in this chapter, as there was only a brief mention about if from Draco. Though I did enjoying having his perspective though, so it was a win-lose situation I guess.

Another great chapter and I really enjoyed Dracoís POV, so hopefully it will feature again!


Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for coming back, always nice getting your reviews you know. :3
I tried to switch up on Draco and Astoria's POV a bit in this story. I'd done it in chapters two and three for a brief moment but most of this chapter deals with Draco this time! :)
I don't like writing Draco sometimes, he can get a bit intense for me. But he's fun, as his thoughts are actually pretty deep! And I like getting a feel for him, its fun to play around with that when he's around Astoria.
Bwha, Draco isn't really the "romantic" type, he wants Astoria and that's about as far as his mind goes. He wants her more than anyone else and well, Pansy found that out the hard way, yes? :p
Drug, as in "drug across the floor" but I might go in and change it. Eventually. Probably. I can't say "beatings" on the site, actually, as it would be considered "child abuse" which is why I used spankings instead.
I think knowing that Draco's a spoiled little brat is more than enough sometimes but I think he's had other things happening in his life though.
Yeah, the Greengrass family has alot of weird little deaths, though only one of his siblings IS dead. That they know of, anyway. There's something more happening, of course.
There will be more Astoria/Blaise in the next few chapters, actually. And the Greengrass family reveals more about what they do for a living. :p If you weren't able to guess.
You won't see Draco for a while but when you do, you won't like it. Hahahha.
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #42, by patronus_charm Revenge

8th February 2013:
Hello Gabbie, Iím here with your requested review!

It took longer than usual this time as I had to psych myself for the long chapter, but Iím ready now, so on with the review!

I felt it a little strange that this chapter is still based on the same night, as due to the long chapter length, I would have thought it would have moved on by now. Itís not that I donít like the party, it has a lot going on and the game of course, itís just that I was wondering whether it would ever go back to Hogwarts as Iím intrigued to see what happens there.

Yay more Blaise/Astoria action, Iíve given up on shipping her and Draco as I know itís a lost cause, so Iím excited for these two now. I picked up on the fact that she recognised his scent, she obviously knows him well enough, and has been close enough to him, to recognise it!

I liked that youíve kept Astoriaís characteristics the same, as sheís still the naÔve and innocent girl, from chapter 1. As some authors have the tendency to suddenly change their characters traits, yet you havenít done that, which is great as we then get familiar with the characters!

Iím loving the insight into the pureblood world again, as I find it fascinating, and their behaviour is similar to those with titles in Britain, so itís cool to see even if theyíre muggles they still act the same way. Itís probably where JK got her inspiration from.

Ooh we get a little clue as to what the family business is about, when Scorpius mentions, that they may be paying their father to get rid of him. Iím guessing heís involved in some hit man type of thing? I would have never predicted that, Iím still wishing it was muggle gardening tools, given the surname and all.

It was nice to see Astoriaís parents again, as they are rather unusual characters, and interesting to read, so I hope they pop up again!

I saw Thaddeus in another story as well, and it surprised me as it was a rather unusual name. Does it have some magical or mythological meaning behind it? Or is it something else?

Another great chapter Gabbie!

Author's Response: HellO!

Hey, there doll. Its always nice getting your lovely reviews and welcome back! :3
If I could go back and change things I would probably make this the next day or a few weeks later but I'd tried that angle and it didn't work out for some reason. But anyway, the children do go back to Hogwarts soon but not for a long while. Horrible things happen in between that and then. Awful, terrible things.
I think quite a few people stopped shipping her with Draco by this point. There's so much fun writing Astoria/Blaise though, I really like seeing them together. And she's attracted to him too, which would explain why she was so interested in his scent. ;)
I can't change Astoria, she would get mad at me and hit me. She's the sort of character that slowly changes over time and I couldn't rush that.
Whoo! Writing pureblood culture is really fun, I can't realy get over it, its the details and the haughty lifestyle that really captures my attention. But it does remind you of titled jerks--I mean, people back in the day, right? We had socialites like that in America too. :D
Hahah, the Greengrass family secret will be known, don't worry about that. It has nothing to d with gardening tools. :D
Oh, Thaddeus is Blaise's father's name. I'm not sure if it has anything special behind it, I just like the way it sounds. Blaise Thaddeus Zabini.
I could say it all day and not get bored...
But I'm perverted so, yeah.
Anyhoo! Thanks for coming back!
Much love,

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Review #43, by patronus_charm A Force of Wills

4th February 2013:
Hey Gabbie it's me spreading the love with reviews!

Can I just say that the first line was great! I mean 'A parade of wild horses' created so much imagery it was fantastice, and I never thought of using that, but it was a great analogy, so kudos for that ;) And then describing the Malfoy family as blonde statues, it's exactly how they are, cold hearted and blonde haired!

I feel rather sorry for Astoria due to her not having any friends, and having to have such protective siblings, and being forced to hang out with mean purebloods! I hope some happiness comes her way, as I hate to see someone have such a miserable life!

I would love to know more about Astoria's background, as to why she's a halfblood. As we know relatively little about her parents other than her fathe's involved in some dodgy business, so having that extra info will mean we know Astoria better:)

I did find at times that the sentences were a little awkward such as this one - 'as she was not remotely who he had wanted.' If you just rephrase that, it will sound a lot better, and improve the flow as you won't have to reread it!

And yay the games back! I know it's kinda weird that I like it, but it does make for some very interesting storylines and it was really good plot idea! And the game also meant that Astoria and Draco had to kiss, I do ship them so that was nice, but I wish Draco would be a little nicer to Astoria, as she's so nice and lovely, but hey maybe he'll change? Well at least Astoria and I want the same things from him.

Hahahhaha that line from Zabini saying he was very fond of cake, it was just so unexpected it made it so funny! I love Zabini as well, as he's very different to how I've usually seen him, so it was nice to get a different perspective of him. Now I've got pictures of him eating cake in my head, that's kind of weird:/

And yay more Zabini/Malfoy rivalry it's so funny to watch, as they seem to competing for untirely different reasons. I really want to know who will come out as victor! And I hope that Draco doesn't destroy their family too much, as he can't be that evil, can he?

Well I'm supporting Blaise/Astoria at the moment, but I guess that can all change, another great chapter! Kiana :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there, thanks for spreading the love with the reviews. It makes me happy and very bigheaded to see you here reading this after I asked you to! Right? Huh? *Ahem*
I liked the first line too, it really sums up the entire chapter. So many unexpected things happening all around them that they can't control really makes me giggle. Haughty purebloods getting a taste of reality and yes, the Malfoy's are very cold and very hard. But they can't give up in the company of their fellow evil...I mean, lovely guests. :D
The entire thing with Astoria and her lack of friends actually comes up later on in the story, as does her being half-blood. There's so much darkness around the Greengrass family themselves so you'd have to keep reading it to discover it all. :D
And please, in the future, don't hate me if you do.
I'll go through and fix those sentences, I'd been thinking of editing this soon. :p But I've got a million WIP's to do and well, that sucks.
Yeah, its weird that you like the game but admitting to being a tad perverted never hurt anyone, yes? :3 That's mainly why I wrote that game scenario. But shshshs, don't tell anyone! :D
Ooh, you should probably not ship Astoria and Draco. At all. Not only does she hate him but he wants her for the wrong reason and well, it doesn't turn out so well for him. :D
He won't be any nicer to her.
I'm sorry.
This doesn't fall into canon, does it? HAHA.
Zabini is an oddity, isn't he? But so much fun to write for! And he really loves sweets, so picture him eating so much cake if you must!
Ah, the Zabini/Malfoy battle will continue but not in the way you think. :D
Draco's as nasty as he seems. >:D
Thanks for reading!
Much love,

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Review #44, by CassiePotter Loyalty

2nd February 2013:
This chapter was brilliant. Honestly I think that was some of the best writing I have ever read. Ever. I honestly don't have enough words to tell you how amazing this chapter was, and how amazing this whole story is. It just keeps getting better and better, and you're constantly finding ways to surprise me and have me wondering where the story will go next! I'm really curious about Leo and the rest of the Greengrass family, because I still don't think we know everything that's going on... I have a feeling that this is just the surface, and even that's crazy! I just love the intrigue and mysteriousness of this story! The Greengrasses definitely have my attention, and I'm excited to find out more about them!
I really felt for Stori in this chapter. Her emotions were so pure and honest and raw, and I loved that you didn't do anything to soften them, or to make it less painful for her. It just made the whole chapter so much more poignant and beautiful. I got shivers down my spine when you talked about her nightmares. They really sound terrifying, which is sad in a way, because they're all about her family, and who she's going to wake up and see.
I thought Emily's character was really fascinating to read! She, like Stori, is so complex! We see her one way, and think we know her, and then she goes and surprises us! The way that she and Astoria argued, and how heated and passionate they both got in defending their opinions was so, so powerful. It's even harder because there really is not easy way out or even a way to compromise in this situation! I could feel Stori's anger, and you wrote it so well! It wasn't overdone at all, but still hit me really hard!
I was surprised that Emily actually took Astoria to Blaise! But I'm really glad that she could see that he was alive and able to rest, even if she could see that he's still in pain :( And the end of this chapter was so, so gorgeous! I could picture Astoria sitting by Blaise and holding his hand, and the fact that such a horrible thing happened to them just broke my heart!
This story is absolutely incredible, and I love everything about it! Your characters are so powerful and incredible, and I really learn a lot from reading your writing! Gabbie this was just SO GOOD. TFD is slowly coming along but I'll let you know my progress with it! What are you updating next? 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

*Blushes* Whenever you all leave me reviews like this, I just get so speechless. I don't know how to respond, I get all tongue-tied and my face just turns beet red. I suppose being all "grown up" doesn't mean much! Hahahah.
I am just so flattered and happy and OMYMERLINING because you just keep coming back to this and making me feel so much better about it! D':
I think there's so much mystery and so many lies around the Greengrass family that the layers might take you days to get to the end. Its actually quite sad.
Leo is one big mystery wrapped up in a lie and I've still got a long way to go with that character. He's someone that I think you all will like, if you haven't already from just getting those glimpses of his room. Zonko's junk and all that reminded me so much of Fred and George. Hahaha.
But yes, there are going to be so many surprises with the Greengrass family. I think that I can't avoid it because you all are, and Astoria, forced to be in their house. And there are so many things that happened! So many things that are going to come back onto my poor little cactus.
You know, I'd thought of making it easier on Astoria but it didn't feel right. She's the sort of character who's emotions just speak for her and her family and the situation didn't need the softness or the sweetness. It was nasty and mean and raw, like you said and very hard to write. D':
I cried. Those nightmares had me getting the chills too, very creepy stuff.
I wanted her to wake up and see her family after those dreams to make a point. The real horror is only beginning and that little thing with Emily? How many times did I edit that?! I'm SO glad that you got into her character though and that she had more depth. The sister's fighting really showed who they were as people, didn't it? I wanted to make that clear and I'm SO glad that you were able to get something from it. There are no compromises in the Greengrass family. At all. Ever. Hahahhaa. Rawr.
Emily loves Astoria too much to tell her no and like she said, she can't stand seeing her so unhappy. I had to make sure that Astoria got to see Blaise in this chapter and for you, I wrote that part specifically for you, since you've been so worried about him. :D
*Blushes* Oh, thank you so much. That ending made me question myself, I wasn't sure if it was enough, but you've made me so happy. Like, amazingly happy. I'm going to start working on the next chapter soon! D':
*Bows* I can't thank you enough, I love your work too you know! (Write more) I'm all choked up! Please update TFD for me soon!
Erm, what should I update? Merlin, I have no clue. I might just go back to Abandon, then Albus and then A Force of Wills and some one-shots in between. :p Depends on my mood. Hahahah.
Can't thank you enough!
Much love,

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Review #45, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Traitors

30th January 2013:
Hello my dear!

Gosh - what a great chapter. Draco Malfoy in this absolutely terrifies me! He's so dark and horrible!

I love how you have the competition building between Blaise and Draco. I really really want Blaise to win. He actually seems to care about her, Draco just wants her in a twisted kind of way. And Blaise is a rebel, I love how he walked out on Lucius' speech - go him!

Ooh, so we have more details on the Greengrass family business - not great is it? Her family does seem pretty messed up. Working for the order was a nice twist to it though, although I'm not sure how far the Order would trust them? Astoria's father seems pretty set on bringing the Malfoy's down though - gah you've built up so much tension and suspense, it's great to read!

Okay, the family secret is now driving me absolutely crazy! I really really want to know what it is! Please?

Surprisingly enough, I actually quite enjoyed Emily in this chapter. I wasn't a great fan of hers to start with but she grew on me a bit in this.

Well done on another awesome chapter. I will be back soon!


Author's Response: Hey!

Nice to see you back my dear and welcome to one of the angstiest stories I've ever written! Whoo! Hahahhhaha.
Draco Malfoy only gets creepier and creepier as you go on and he will continue to freak and gross you out. As a warning, you might not want to have anyone around when you're reading some of his future lines. ;D
Ooh, there's a bit of a competition going on with him and Blaise that just continues on from here. Draco wants Astoria in the way that say, a wolf might want a cute little bunny and Blaise is.Blaise, you can't really tell WHAT he's thinking.
But bravo for him, walking out on Lucius's disgusting speech! :D
No, the Greengrass family business is not great or pretty. Its actually quite dark. Poor Astoria. The mention of the Order I had to put in to throw you guys off but later on down the line, I think I probably should have added more information. :p
Astoria's father is a cruel man and he hates, hates, hates the Malfoy's and Blacks and anyone else pureblood and rich.
Hahha. You'll get your answers on the family secret by chapter five and six if you don't figure it out sooner for yourself. I hope it surprises you! :D
Emily might grow on you but she might not, I think Scorpius has more fans than she does. But then again, you may not like him towards the later chapters of this! ;)
Thanks for reading and I'll be looking forward to our next chat! :D
Much love,

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Review #46, by patronus_charm Traitors

27th January 2013:
Hey it's patronus_charm with your review! Thank you for the fan kitten by the way, it was very much appreciated ;D

Hmm, Astoria's parents and their business are intriguing me more and more, I think it's great how you've been describing them so far, as it fits perfectly with the whole dark and mysterious setting of the Malfoys and pureblood society, so it was nice to see it linked together.

It was nice to see that Astoria's father did in fact like her, despite her and her brothers 'odd ball' views, as it's nice to see that even though they go against most pureblood views, and usually their parents would reject them, it's not the case this time around, which adds further to the mystery of them all. Also the fact he works with the order sometimes, I was seriously not expecting that, it was such a good twist.

And yay, Emily's still being nice, and it was funny to see them talking about whether Astoria was a good kisser, as it was a rather menial thing, which contrasted nicely, with the otherwise serious setting.

I can sense some competiton between Blaise and Draco, over who gets Astoria, I'm hoping that Blaise does, and he does seem rather nice, and caring when she fainted, whereas Draco just wants her so he can acheive his messed up fantasies, and you should never trust a Malfoy.

I'm hoping that you'll address the reason over why Astoria is a halfblood, and reveal who her mother is, as it's bothering me not knowing :P

I think it's great how you've been portraying rich, pureblood society, during the war, as you often don't see it, but it is interesting to read it, before they've all from their graces, and shunned by most of society due to their part in the war.

Overall I thought it was a good chapter, and there aren't any CC's, so yay! And I'm loving Astoria, and Blaise more and more, so double yay! Kiana :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey, there lovely! You are most welcome for the fat kitten, I bet its adorable.
So, welcome back to this story, I hope you enjoyed this as much as I liked writing it at the time. I hint and hint at what the business is with Astoria's family and it was really important to balance it and the pureblood society/War thing going on. All of it is very dark stuff.
There is some affection with Astoria's father and all of his children. Its a tad twisted at some point but with the way she views things, he considers it a phase she and her brother will get out of. You may not like her father further down the line but that's up to you to decide. I mean, the family business is very important to him. :p
Oh, yes, they do work with the Order on occasion, but not for the right reasons. >:D
Emily can be very nice! She's a doting older sister and treats Astoria like she's her baby or something so its nice to read/write. And it was funny that they were talking about kisses and such when the table setting was at its darkest and most unpleasant.
Bwhaha, that's not all that's going on with Blaise and Draco. Blaise truly despises him and Astoria, well, she interests him and yes, you had better hope he wins her over first. Otherwise, Draco might get his wish and do all those naughty things he wants to her. Poor, poor, her.
I didn't know that you hardly see pureblood society during the War! I thought that it would be something quite common but thanks so much! Its fun to write too, I love the idea of all these horrible people moving about as if they're not doing anything wrong. Its what happens to them later that really adds salt into the wounds, so that's why I put so much emphasis on everything being so sparkly and perfect now. It won't last forever! :D
Hahah. The mystery that is Astoria Greengrass only deepens but you'll get your answers eventually. With other things. :D
Thanks for coming to review! Please continue to enjoy Astoria and Blaise and look out for Draco when you turn a corner! ;)
Much love,

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Review #47, by patronus_charm Purebloods

26th January 2013:
Hey it's patronus_charm with your review!

I really liked the opening of this chapter, it was great to see how Astoria gradually broke down further and further, with it culimnating in her fainting. I don't think it mentioned how she was betrayed by the game in the previous chapter, so I'm eager to see how this is developed further.

It was also nice to see, someone being rather nice to her, and that they don't all fully hate her! Hmm, but Blaise did seem rather over protective, over the fact that she was ill, maybe there's something more going on there, as he did seem rather caring with her.

This line did confuse me a little - 'Draco Malfoy watched in amazement as Blaise caught Greengrass before she fell face forward onto his Persian carpet in a rather unladylike way.' If Blaise caught her, how could she fall face forward?

They seemed to refer to Astoria being a 'breed', I don't know whether it's just me being stupid, but I don't think the explanation of what a 'breed' was, was fully covered, so maybe that could be reviewed?

It was nice to see Emily being more sisterly towards Astoria, as it shows she can be nice. And the smelling salts, perfect for their family as purebloods seems to mimick Victorian society a lot, especially with the corsets! And yay for Scorpius he's just cool enough said!

I really like Astoria's spirit, how she seems to be an individual, like how she refuses to marry for money, but for love, and she seems rather innocent, which is nice, as you then have contrast with her innocence and the darkness of the rest of the world, especially the Malfoy family! Also her hate for purebloods, I'm guessing this has something to do with her 'breed'.

Draco is currently disgusting me like he's doing to Astoria, I think it's his fascination with her, and his urge to destroy her and her family so much is why, he's currently very weird. However, I do find this very dark side of him, interesting to read, as he is very different to how he's usually portrayed.

I'm wondering what her father's business could be, is death eater related, or perhaps something totally unexpected such as selling muggle gardening equipment, either way I can't wait to find out.

I thought it was a great chapter, and plenty of darkness which is fun to read, I can't wait to find out more about the Greengrass's as they are such an interesting family! Kiana x

Author's Response: Hey, doll!

Welcome back! :) I was having a pretty boring sort of day until this lovely review and you're just the best person ever. *Hands fat kitten*
You know, with her corset being so tight and the stress, I think she was bound to faint sooner or later. And poor her, right?! In her mind, she didn't think that she would get Draco for the game, therefore, it betrayed her. Its her worst nightmare, getting a kiss from him, you know. He's just so...eerie. That's the only way to put it. :3
There's alot of things going on with Blaise but you really don't find out what it is, concerning Astoria. He's rather sly and I hope you pick up on some things about him, but underneath all that, he really is just a gentleman. It would bother him, letting a woman be bullied so badly and he might talk about it later on. I think he does. In his weird little way. :3
Oh, and that is a bit of a mistake but you faint forward. I should know this, as I've fainted more than once so Astoria fainting forward makes sense. I should have put in that Blaise turned her around so that it would make more sense. I might go and change that.
Emily is actually very loving with Astoria but she's so intent on doing what their parents tell them to do that they sometimes clash. Later on, Astoria might say something about her being more of a mother to her than their mother. I think? Hm.
And yes, Scorpy! He's great, isn't he? But not later on. >:D
"Breed" is just a term I made up for this story, regarding how purebloods see half-bloods. Dirty blood mixing with pure blood is sort of how people refer to mutts. Horrible, I know but that's where I got it from! :p
Astoria's innocence is done on purpose for this story. With the way the world was going and how dark it was, its sort of like a bit of light at the end of a dark tunnel. She gradually becomes a bit darker the more you read on, as certain events sort of drive her into a position she can't get out of.
And that was not a pun. ;)
Oh, yes. Draco will continue to freak you out and make you want to punch him. He has a slight, uhm, interest in Astoria that borders on madness, its really weird. He'll go on to talk about it later. :)
Bwhahaha! The Greengrass family does not associate with muggle gardening equipment! And nor are they Death Eaters. They're something nastier, if you can think of that but it'll be nice for you to find out. :)
I'll re-request right now then, since you liked this so much. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.
Much love,

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Review #48, by patronus_charm Half and Half

23rd January 2013:
Hey Gabbie, I'm here with your review! Ooh I'm already excited as I can't wait to see how much our Draco's match up, and I didn't even read this before, so it's kinda weird that they do ;)

Ooh interesting family set-up, as Scorpius is Astoria's brother, is that where the name for the son comes from, or is he not making an appearance? I've never really read many any Astoria stories as it's Dramione all the way! But, I like how you portrayed her parents as they seem very different, to how they usually are.

I thought it was interesting that you spilt the sibilings stance on the war and muggles, as even through the brief description Astoria gave, you could tell that there was some obvious tension, currently pondering whether this will have a volcano like eruption or not? Anyhow I would have perhaps liked more of background as to why, Astoria and her brother's views were comparativly different to those expected of her, as it would be interesting, and more believable :)

Wow I knew that the Malfoy's were dark, but you've just upped this by a whole new level. I thought it as great when Astoria, walked into the room and told stories about what she witnessed.

Emily does seem rather different to her siblings, with meetings with Draco, I would love to know why they vary so much in the way they act, as you can clearly tell Astoria's clear loathing for him, whereas her sister doesn't seem to mind him that much.

I liked the Slytherin gang all being together, as I did wonder whether they all hang out together or not, and they do seem to be quite an erm interesting bunch. Also verging on the edge of extremely weird and sadistic, but they make very interesting reading, and I'm wondering whether any of them will have a different side or not.

You have a tendency to give muggles a capital M, I'm pretty sure they don't have one :)

I do like the concept of the game, even though it is slightly scaring me, about what some of the outcomes could end up like, I'm glad that Astoria ended up with the rather tame kiss, as I would be scared if I had to be bitten or nibbled by one of them!

Overall I thought it was great chapter, as I have about 3 essays to write by Friday, I can only review this chapter, but feel free to re-request! Kiana x

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back and thanks for stopping by and trying out this stort of Draco/Astoria! I hadn't really expected a review from you so quickly so this was nice! :3
I think our Draco's will match up a bit more than you might think. Its actually sort of weird.
Oh-ho, Scorpius is Astoria's brother in this story but I can't say whether or not that's where the son's name comes from. This doesn't fall directly in line with canon and from the way this story is going, you may not want her to be around Malfoy anyway. For her safety and his. :D
I've only read a handful of Astoria stories myself, they're not nearly as popular as Dramione and its a shame. There's so much room to grow with this character cause we know nothing about her! And her parents have a shadier, darker side so I'm glad that you were able to seem them as different for now. You'll hate them later.
I had to split the sibling's difference on the War, I thought that, in the sort of house they lived in that they should have SOME free thinking. Its very important that I made that distinction though and I hope you're able to pick up on it more later on. Scorpius himself has a Muggle girlfriend so that might be why he doesn't really support the War and plus, given what he does for a living he isn't too keen on someone going around murdering people. :D
I hope that you might be able to figure out the why's and everything later though, but I probably should have put in more detail about it. I hadn't thought of doing that before but I might just have to.
Bwha, I made the Malfoy's even more despicable than they were before so go me! I couldn't help it, I had this idea in my mind of them and just went with it. I'd never thought of them as particularly cozy either. :D
Astoria has been around Malfoy for a long time so she was bound to have some stories to tell and none of them were good. Hahaha.
Emily is really different from her siblings but, she doesn't exactly like Draco either. She likes going to the parties and the glamour ofit all, but she'll show her feelings for him later. Its not really nice. :D
You know, I'm pretty sure Draco had other friends beside Crabbe and Goyle and plus, their families have to get together on occasion. They're some of the last pureblood lines around and old money enjoys being around old money. :3
And yes, they are a rather uhm, interesting shade of people. Oh, the people in that room don't play a major role in this story except for one but you'll figure that out if you keep on reading! :D
Cause I'm a tease.
You know, I see Muggle with both a capitalized "m" and without one and I like the way it looks capitalized. I think JK always capitalized it but that's just me! :D
Why do people continually like the concept of that game? You all are naughty! ;) But while it seems like Astoria got the easy pick, its coming from someone she hates adn well, its not going to go so well for her. :3
And you probably would have passed out if you'd gotten nibble and Goyle had to find you. *Shudder*
Ooh, good luck on your essays and thanks for reading! :D I'll re-request whenever, I don't want you getting swamped!
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #49, by CassiePotter Trapped

17th January 2013:
But my poor Blaise! I want to help him and I feel so bad for him and I can't believe that Scorpious hurt him like that! I was so scared that he was going to be dead by the time Astoria got there or that she wouldn't be able to help him! They just have to be ok!
And Malfoy followed them!!! I wonder how much he knows? And now he has something to hold over Astoria because he knows where she went! Oh gosh this can't be good.
I just can't even say anything right now because that was so fantastic. I got chills reading this chapter! I'll tell you more on the forums when I can actually get my thoughts together! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hey, Cassie!

*Blushes* Oh, stop it! You know, all of your reviews just make me blush and giggle and I swear my head's swelled up twice its normal size. You're much too sweet!
Poor, poor Blaise. I had to really take my time with that one because I didn't actually want to write it, it took me so long to buckle down and get it. I love him too much. :(
Yeah, Scorpious sort of lost his mind a little and he even hurt Astoria! That would never have happened any other time, he loves her but he had just snapped. It was frightening.
If Astoria hadn't have gotten there when she did, Blaise might have been dead so she got there just in time. Thank goodness.
I'm not sure if they'll be okay since Scorpy is taking them to the Greengrass home. Its like being put into a pit of vipers. OR demons. Not quite sure which would work better for them, but I'll think of something!
And oh, yes. There is another threat. Malfoy, Malfoy, Malfoy. I can't reveal how much he knows but either way, it won't be good for Astoria down the line. Argh, I have to get started on those next few chapters! :D
*Bows down to you* You're so nice to me, I always like reading your reviews, you're the best reviewer in the world, I swear. Hopefully, we'll be able to chat more on the forums! See you then? :3
Much love,

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Review #50, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Purebloods

21st December 2012:
Hello.. Just dropping by with your requested review.

Wow, you really have taken creepy to a whole new level! In the books Malfoy is one of them characters I kind of love to hate, you know? The story just would not be the same with out him. Yet here in this story he just creeps me out completely! You've built his character up so well from the canon but you've just taken it so much further so really well done!!

Aww, I actually really love Zabini in this chapter. I found him really cute. He really seems to have a thing for Astoria but then so does Malfoy. I liked the way you contrasted Malfoys twisted want for her with Zabini's hero-like protection of her honour. I think that's what made me like him more.

Emily disappointed me in this chapter. I really can't believe what she's doing. I'm on Astoria and Scorpius' side all the way! Which brings me to the lovliness of Scorpius himself. Gah he's definitely my favourite character, you've done an amazing job of him!

I thought the story flowed quite well and you have built the story up fantasticly! The Greengrass family secret... I'm dying to know!!! And you've really sparked my interest with the fathers business - there's no way that's going to be good! All the twists and turns throughout, yeah just great so go you!

I haven't really got any CC on this chapter, I thought you wrote the story so well!

Well done again!

Author's Response: Hey!

Thanks for stopping by again with this chapter, it means alot. Bwhahah, I don't really try to make my characters so creepy (Malfoy men in particular) but it just sort of flows that way. And its fun. >:D
Oh, I was never really a fan of Draco until I started reading fanfics. I thought that what I had learned about him from canon based on how I needed this story to be would be oh-too fun to tweak and add onto.
I've tried to keep his haughty arrogance and his ignorance in here as well. But that took me a long time to get that just right. I imagine that Draco is one of the characters that I simply LOVE/Hate. He's sort of addictive! ;)
Ah, Zabini! You'll see much more of him in this story if you had wanted to keep reading on. He is everything that Draco isn't and I think it really showed with his regard for Astoria, whom we know Draco wants for himself.
For whatever reason. :p
Emily disappointed me in this chapter as well but I wanted to play on how she and Astoria are so different. Astoria barely escaped but her sister is alot wilder than she'll ever be adn its sort of off-putting.
Hahaha, Scorpy! Its so hard not to like a big, overprotective big brother that hates purebloods, right? Hehehehe. ;)
Thanks so much for coming back! I really wasn't too sure with this story, I've never felt as confident with it as I have with some of my others. Its just so complicated!
You find out more about the Greengrass family secret and her father's work in the next few chapters. I warn you, its not pleasant. :)
:D Thanks for coming back again, if you want to check this out more, feel free! I'll be happy to hop on over to your page too, just to gush about how awesome you are. ;)
Much love,

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