115 Reviews Found

Review #26, by CassiePotter Punishments, Plots and Plans

9th February 2013:
Hello Gabbie!
I loved this chapter! The entire beginning section had me cringing, and poor Albus just kept feeling worse and worse! I rely felt bad for the three of them during their entire lecture from Neville and Blaise.
I thought the part where Scorpy and Lav said that they liked having each other and Albus as friends was really sweet! I think the three of them make really good friends, because they all have such different personalities, but can also get along really well, even if they do bicker sometimes :) And I felt so bad for Scorp when he said that he liked Albus and Lav because they didn't think he was going to die! He is one of my favorite characters, because of how you write him, and the fact that he had this little moment of vulnerability, when he usually tries to act so tough, really made my heart go out to him!
And their punishment really does sound awful! No quidditch for two more years! That would be terrible! And have to stay over the holidays and help Filch... Yuck! I would hate that! And poor Albus, not getting to see all of his cousins, and missing his parents! I think that would be the worst part for me! And the last part of their punishment really did it. What are they going to do now that their plan is ruined?
Rose and Sue were not happy with them! Personally, I would be scared if they had it out for me like that! At least Lav was able to stop anything really bad from happening! I feel like she's always coming to save the day! Haha. And the end of the chapter with Peeves has me a bit worried... I wonder what happened with Roxie! It seems like everything that could go wrong for the Misfits has, and I'm already cringing a little bit thinking about what else could got wrong!
This chapter was amazing, and I loved all the emotions I felt from it! THE FEELS. I can't wait to find out what happens next, and hopefully we'll see Ben soon! Heeheehee. 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: HellO!

Wow, thanks for being the first person to come and attack this. I just saw that it was validated and was surprised that alot of people had actually read it! :D
Oh, that scene with the children getting their punishment was so hard to write. I wasn't sure how far I wanted to go with it and poor Albus was just getting so upset. D':
I thought adding in a bit more companionship/love between the Misfits was really important and I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It was a sweet moment to write! :3
And that bit with Scorpy made me sort of sad but there are moments of real vulnerability with him that I love exploring. He has it harder than anyone realizes.
And he's very fun to write, I enjoy his lines and his character very much, the complicated kids are always the most fun. Sorry, Albus! ;)
Yep, I had to think of something awful for each of them adn I think it worked out all right! I mean, no quidditch, spending the holidays with FILCH?! Uhm, no! Hhaha. And they won't be able to see their families and that hurt Albus the most because he's really close to his family. :(
You'll have to wait and see what they do to solve their latest problem with Halloween. :D
HAHAHA. Yeah, I'd hate it if Sue and Rose were after ME like that too! Scary stuff and Lav is a doll, isn't she? She's like a super hero! Hahahah.
And she has amazing aim.
Hahaha. You'll see what happened with Roxie, so no worries! :3
Peeves may or may not have been lying. Hahhaha.
The next chapter is halfway done! Whoo! And A Force of Blaise is nearly done as well too! ;)
You'll see Ben very soon. He misses you very much.
Much love and thanks so much! :D

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Review #27, by CassiePotter Deals with Thieves

29th January 2013:
Hi Gabbie!
I really loved this chapter! I think it's one of my favorites so far! I just love Scorp, Lav, and Al together! I agree with Roxie, they are so cute! And so funny, too! Haha.
I got so much Hermione from Rose in this chapter! It was awesome! I love her personality, she is such a mix of her parents! I can definitely see Ron's temper, and of course she inherited her mother's love of the library! Haha. Sue and the boys make me laugh. She definitely knows how to get under their skin!
And Roxie was there, too! I loved getting to see her in this story! It's really interesting, because it feels like we're seeing her from the trio's perspective. Its really different without all the mood swings that come with Ben! Who is going to show up soon, yes? I can't wait! He and Scorpy are going to be hilarious together! I relly hope they get the invisibility cloak back! And I'm nervous about the end... I want to know what happens to them after they get called into Zabini's office!
ASOS is in the queue, and TFD is after that. I'm also thinking about writing a one-shot, too! I'll keep reading and reviewing for you, so hopefully I'll be all caught up soon! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey there! Its always nice seeing you back and you attacked this before anyone else did so thank you so much. I love writing the Misfits together, they're just too much fun and you can't help but adore them. Oh, yes, I think Rose is alot like her parents and its so fun putting out her little quirks and things in the story. I wanted her to have her own identity but that might have to wait for another story because she's not that big of a player in this one. :p Sadly.
Hahaha. Sue, Sue, Sue. There's something going on with her about why she can get under Albus and Scorpy's skin. ;)
I think she's a bully.
Roxie is SO much different from how she is in her own story and I think it shows really well in this. We'll be seeing Ben soon if I have my way with my laptop and I do think he and Scorpy are going to be HILARIOUS. I already have it in my head on how I want to write it and I hope you LOVE it! :D
Hahhaa, they'll get the Cloak but goodness, it won't go the way they think and that ending did make you go, "EEP" I hope. It won't be pleasant with what Zabini has planned for them. ;)
OOH ASOS! I can't wait, like I literally can't wait for it and TFD! :D Oooh, a one-shot? I will so read it when its up! Thank you so much for coming back, you're a real dear and I always love reading your reviews.
Much love,

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Review #28, by CassiePotter The Threat of Tomorrow

28th January 2013:
Hey Gabbie!
This chapter was SO GOOD. I'm so relieved that Scorp and Lav got out of the forest alright! When Albus was waiting for Hagrud to open the door I was really nervous that he wasn't going to be there and that Al would have to go look around in the forest by himself! But thankfully Hagrid was there! And I'm really glad they found Scoroious and Lavender, even if Zabini was there, too. But that confirms their suspicions that he was out in the forest looking for wolfsbane!
You wrote Hagrud really well! I think he would be one of the hardest characters to write in canon, because he has such a distinct personality and way of speaking compared to the other characters, and you wrote him fantastically!
I really hope that Albus, Scorp, and Lav get a good plan together! And that they see Ben soon! Heeheehee.
This chapter was brilliant! ASOS is next for me, then back to TFD and I'm thinking about writing a one-shot, too! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Hey, there! Its always good to see you coming back to this. :3
I think a few people were worried about Scorpy and Lav making it out of the Forest in one piece. I had actually thought of having Albus going back in there for them but thought of saving that for another time. Oh, yes, they found out Zabini was looking for Wolfsbane but things aren't nearly as simple as they look! :D
I think Hagrid is one of those characters that is really hard to get right. He took me a while to get just right and I'm glad that it was able to come out all right. :D His speech patterns are so tough to get down! D':
But yes, the Misfits had better come up with a plan soon! Halloween is only a week away and don't you worry, Benjamin shows up in another chapter or so. ;)
There's a fresh chapter of this up for you to read too! :D The queue was really short last night! :D
On my end, I'm going to get the next chapter of A Force of Blaise--Wills up for you after I finish and then, maybe Memories. After that, who knows? :D
Thanks for coming back and I read and reviewed LMT! D':
Can't wait for more stuff from you!
Much love,

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Review #29, by Sheriff The Threat of Tomorrow

27th January 2013:
Oh, Albus. Let go. Seriously. It really doesn't do anyone any good to hang on to preconceptions and prejudices when the world of evidence is banging down your door. You are in much more danger from cannibal fishies than from your Potions Master.

He has just had the perfect opportunity to turn your friends into fish food, and lay the blame on any one of innumerable forest-dwelling beasts, and he's chosen to drag their ungrateful backsides back to the castle, kicking and screaming along the way. What did they expect, having broken 101 school rules?

Anyway, I am starting to feel like we must be looking at a werewolf as being the object of Zabini's midnight missions, but as for what the connection is between this and the Death Eater kids being murdered, I have no idea, and you might well be laying down a false track for all that I know. Hmmm. The plot thickens...

Author's Response: Hello!

Bwhaha, that wasn't the reaction I was expecting! Oh, how hilarious was it to read though, isn't Albus just getting on your nerves?! Hahahhaha. I really do think that him holding onto those suspicions is the only way for him to feel like he's in control though. Everything else is constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY blowing up in his face (Sometimes literally) that he has to have SOME say in what he thinks is going on. Right? Right? Does that even make sense? Probably not. HAHHAH.
But yes, he is in more danger from various other things. Zabini has had his chance to destroy them more than once and they've gotten themselves into quite a jam, haven't they? I mean, honestly, with what they did, they should be lucky that Zabini didn't do something more foul. My silly little Misfits. :p
Oh, yes, we're getting into the thick of things aren't we? I may or may not be leading you down a false trail, but you'll get your answers in a few chapters. Merlin, just let me write them first and get over this writer's block...come on, offer me some advice buddy.
Thanks for coming back though! Still laughing at that response.
Much love,

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Review #30, by CambAngst On the Hogwarts Express

22nd January 2013:
Hi, there! I thought I'd come take a look at your long story. There's something about stories that portray the Next Gen kids coming of age that always interest me. I'm more of a Hogwarts/post-Hogwarts reader generally, but I always see so much of the canon characters reflected in the way that people write these kids. It's fascinating.

I felt like you plucked Albus, Rose and James right out of the final scene in the epilogue of Deathly Hallows and just kept right on going with the story. While Albus felt better about things after the chat with his father on the train platform, I'm sure that wasn't the end of his anxieties. He's still worried sick that he might wind up in Slytherin. And looming almost as large in the background, he seems very worried about whether anyone will care about Albus Potter except to the extent that he's Harry Potter's son.

Rose came across like her mother's daughter with a dose of Weasley looks thrown in. I really hope that a little more of her father emerges as the story wears on, because I've always loved the idea of her inheriting some of his cheek along with her mother's brains. She obviously did take her father's words to heart where Scorpius is concerned. Let's hope she can get past that sooner or later.

Poor Scorpius seems like he's led a difficult life up to this point. Your slight non-canonality of having Pansy be his mother puts a bit of a different twist on things because she's a known commodity whereas Astoria is a blank slate. The falling-out between her and Draco helped to define who Draco is in your mind, or at least who he has become. I think he's going to be a very interesting character in this, given his apparent change of heart.

Suggestions? Well, I think the obvious one is formatting. Right now you have so much space between your paragraphs that this relatively short chapter is probably 30 screens long. For me, at least, it made it a little harder to get into the flow of the story. I know the HPFF editor can be a challenge, but if you try editing it in the Simple Editor, I think you can get the spacing under control. Beyond that, I thought you went a little heavy on the back story material in a couple of places. I could understand explaining the game of Quidditch, for instance, if this was targeted toward people who had never read any of the HP books. But in context, it felt a little excessive.

Overall, though, I thought your writing was really good. Everything was structurally sound and I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems. Your descriptions made it really easy to visualize what was going on, and I didn't see anything that felt inconsistent. Actually, one tiny thing: at least in the era of the books, a Galleon was supposed to be worth about 5 or US$10, so Scorpius bought about 25 or US$50 worth of stuff from the snack trolley, then Albus bought more. That would be quite a feed. ;)

I really enjoyed this. You presented Albus and Scorpius in a really warm, engaging way that built on the things they have in common to lay a good foundation for them becoming friends. Good job!

Author's Response: Hello!

*Fangirls* Welcome to my first ever fanfic, its nice to see you visiting! I always enjoy Next Generation stories but I really love to read about the kids being younger. Its really interesting to see how people have their characters and what sort of stories they make up.
Which brings me to this! Yay. To be honest, when I wrote this I had just literally finished reading the Deathly Hallows for the third (?) time and that might be why the characters are so similar. I'd wanted to know what happened next and played off of what I'd gathered from the Epilogue to make this chapter.
Albus of course is nervous about the expectations of everyone else. He doesn't quite seem to know who he is and he doesn't want to be compared as "Just Harry Potter's son", its always been a sore spot for him.
No worries for Rose, she'll have her moments of cheek. I didn't want her to be exactly like Hermione but I didn't really play on her character too much in this chapter. I do later on and she's pretty awful for Albus and the rest. She can't seem to stop talking! :D
She doesn't get past the thing with Scorpius at all. But it mostly has something to do with his personality, more than him being a Malfoy and if you read on, you'll probably see why.
He's got a potty mouth.
Oh, yes, Scorpius has had it a little rough. With his family having that stigma around them and his parents having split up, he's had alot to deal with. I had honestly not looked up the fact that Draco had married Astoria until later, when I'd already had this updated. It would have felt wrong to change it and so I left it alone and plus, it worked out on its own, as I'd wanted to play on Draco and Pansy's relationship anyway. As for Astoria Greengrass...she's mentioned but not a central part to this story. :D
I think most people describe Scorpius as "Moody" and "awful" but sure, he's interesting! *Pulls at collar nervously*
Anyhoo, with the formatting, I KNOW I need to change. I've been so busy that I completely forgot but thank you for reminding me, I'll most likely get to that really soon! It really bugs me to read! D':
And as for me mentioning things, I'd wanted to play on JK's power of reminding us all what was what in little details. But I thankfully toned it down later on because I saw what you meant by the third chapter for the information as being too much. :D Or did I? Hm.
Ooh, thanks for the compliment! I'm not nearly as confident as I should be with my writing so this means alot! >_<
As for grammar and typos: Expect more of each and here's one to look out for: Because of a typo and my laziness, I spell Scorpius's name Scorpious but will most likely change it by the time I make a sequel to this. I'm just lazy and don't feel like going through the entire story and correcting it. Shame on me, I know. Hehehehe. Ooops.
Whoa, I had no idea that the kids actually bought that much candy! Goodness, that's alot! I'm sort of jealous. But I should have given them stomach aches if I'd known! Darn.
Then again, I torture them enough as this story goes on so I think I win either way. >:D
Anyhoo, thanks for the lovely review, it means alot! Albus and Scorpius are loosely based on Ron and Harry so I thought I did a pretty good job on making them in this chapter. Thanks so much!
Much love,

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Review #31, by CassiePotter Into the Forest

12th January 2013:
Gabbie that was so good! Oh my gosh I absolutely loved it! Albus is one of my favorites characters that you've written, and I love your characterization of him! He, Scorp, and Lav make quite the trio of misfits, and in this chapter they reminded me so much of Harry, Ron, and Hermione! I loved how they were stepping on each other's feet under the cloak, too.
And we saw a bit of Miss Roxanne in this chapter! She and apeeves are hilarious together, and I think this little glance of their relationship really shows how Roxanne is so much like her parents! Especially her dad :)
I was so nervous about the trio going into the forest! I would never be able to do that at eleven! I loved Albus's moment if summoning up his courage and pretending to be his dad. I thought it was sweet that he would want to be like his father. And then he fell into a whole herd of centaurs! That's never good! You wrote them really well, and I'm really curious to know more about them after everything Kane said! And now we know that Zabini has something to do with them! I just hope that Scorpius and Lavender can get out of the forest and back to the castle! I'm worried for them!
This chapter was fabulous, and I just love this story! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hey!

Welcome back Cassie! Its so nice to see you reading and reviewing this. Albus is just a delight isn't he? I swear that he's the most fun out of my characters to write for, being in the head of an eleven year old boy is more fun than it should be for me. :)
Ooh, they reminded you of the Golden Trio? Yes! I try to pattern a little bit of Harry, Ron and Hermione into my Misfits (For Lav its a mix of Hermione and Luna Lovegood) and I'm glad that you enjoyed their banter! It only gets worse from here...
Yeah, you'll be seeing a bit more of Roxanne in the next few chapters and when they finally meet Mr. Ben F. Malfoy. Hahaha. I thought I'd get you guys comfortable with her popping up alot in the story before dumping her on you later. Yeah, she and Peeves have a thing going on, I'll go into more detail about it in Abandon, they're like best friends.
Is that a good thing? Hahaha. Roxanne is like, a female version of George, its actually pretty funny.
That part with the Forest made me so nervous too, I wasn't sure if I coudl capture it all well. I would never have gone in there at eleven either, I would have stayed right in the common room and hoped they made it back all right. Hahahaha. I'm no Gryffindor!
Albus had to have that moment of trying to be his dad. There's so much envy and love mixed in with how he feels about him but in the end, love always wins. His dad gives him strength and it comes in handy later on with what I'll make him do. Mwhahahha. >:D
The centaurs.spooky stuff, huh? I thought I had gotten them badly, they were so hard to write for. I sort of cried, I'll admit it. Hahaha.
Zabini's involvement with them comes into light in a few chapters. I just have to write them! T-T
Scorpy and Lav are having their own adventure in the Forest. Not sure if that's good or bad. Hahahhaa.
Thanks for coming back, I left you a review for ASOS! And, hopefully, Audrey will be up so I can update A Force of Blaise--Wills! For me, you can read the latest chapter of "Memories" and see how that suits you. Hopefully it'll tide you over. ;)
Thanks again!
Much love,

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Review #32, by Sheriff Into the Forest

30th December 2012:
Oh, Albus. Mind well and truly blown, I take it?

Now, as for the identity of whatever foul fiend is actually inhabiting the forest, well, if Zabini needs Hagrid's protection, it can't be good. Right?

Meanwhile, do I detect that Scor and Lavender haven't actually made it out of the forest yet, and have been left to indulge in wondering just how life-threatening a situation needs to be in order for them to hold hands. I can't see any of those problems arising for my firsties if they were stuck with Miranda. In fact, they'd probably hurl her straight into the forest and leave her to it.

Your Roxanne has the Fred/George character about her (I get the feeling that she appears in your other work - seems fully-formed already) and the centaurs got that mix of menacing and contemplative spot on.


Author's Response: Hello!

what a nice way to start off the New Year! Thanks so much for coming back, I really like hearing your opinions on this story! :D
Yes, I think Albus's poor little mind has been taken in a very frightening direction. Things are not as they seem and this was the chapter that I think proved that for him. >:D
Well, some would say that Hagrid needs protection from Zabini but we can never be too sure, right? Hahaha. The actual thing out there taking down the wards is something dangerous but I can't go into more detail than that. ;)
Hahaha, I think I played around with Scorpy and Lavender's Forest adventure. There may or may not be alot of hand holding because lets face it, its just spooky in there! Hahaha.
I'm quite sure that your Albus and his friends WOULD just toss Miranda into the Forest after properly tying her to a tree and going back to the Slytherin dungeons. Hahahhah.
So cruel! ;)
Oh, yes, my Roxanne does have the Fred/George thing going on for her. She's George's daughter and she acts alot like him but I think I based James and Mason more after the Weasley twins. Its so fun!
She does show up in one of my other stories "Abandon" so I know her pretty well, which would explain why she was already spot on. For me, at least. Haha.
Ooh, the centaurs were so tough! I thought I'd failed so badly at writing for them, but I plowed through and got what I got. Thanks!
I'll be back to Snake Bites soon and Happy New Year!
Much love,

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Review #33, by Sheriff Sneak and Rescue

28th December 2012:
It is becoming increasingly apparent that either you, or your characters, are dangerously (possibly criminally) obsessed with pink panties. Either they are a key plot element, or you are just clinically insane. It's probably the insanity, isn't it?

I love Lavender's quote, "I mean that there's a lot more going on that we're not paying attention to". I reckon that could sum up 99% of situations anywhere in life; it's amazing what you can learn if you only know where to look. Don't think it's intelligent of Al to pass off the DE murders as coincidence immediately afterwards, mind... although going back into the forest at night is probably even thicker.

Also, cliffhanger, dammit! I sense blood!

Wait, that sounded a bit too much like Zabini. You'll blow my cover...


Author's Response: Hello~!

Hey, welcome back! I left you like, five million reviews for Snake Bites today. (Not really, I think I left three or four?) but anyhoo, I'm not sure who likes pink panties more, me or the kids. I'm not actually sure if this story would be the same without mentioning panties in at least one sentence. But if you read all of my other stuff which is girly/angst, I mention panties in there too. Its like my calling card or something. Hopefully not a sign of insanity? Possibly? Most likely. Haahaha.
Anyhoo, I think that my dear Lavender was the only one who actually had some sense going on. Albus and Scorpy are going back and forth with their ideas and she's more level I think. They should pay more attention to her! And ah, her quote does make sense when it comes to life in general but I'll leave the excellent coming of age stuff to you. You're alot better at it than me, after all. Hehehehe. :D
HAHAHAH! I smell tears in the next chapter! Whoo-hoo? Hahahaha.
What are you doing being the creepy Potions teacher in this story? Back, beast! Into the abyss with you! :D
Thanks for coming back, enjoy my reviews I left! >:D
Much love,

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Review #34, by MargaretLane The Midnight Thieves

15th December 2012:
*laughs at "show us pictures of ugly feet"* after the horrific ideas that preceded it*

Aw, poor Scorpius. He's always going to be judged by his dad. I wonder how their relationship will end up working out.

You've written "Gryffindor's" when it should be "Gryffindors".

And this whole thing about the vampires is intriguing. I guess the Death Eaters weren't exactly the most understanding of part-humans, so vampires could easily have reason to hate them, but why kill their CHILDREN and why now? Years and years after the war ended.

Hmm, I'm wondering about this part about him never going to save the world. I'm guessing he's going to play a part in discovering what is going on with the vampires; it might not be saving the world but it's pretty impressive.

That's assuming it even is vampires. A wizard COULD be faking it, I suppose. *laughs* I suppose it'll all come out in time.

Oh, that's interesting about Lucius and James going to school together. I would have assumed Lucius was YEARS older - at least ten. So he was basically a teenage father, too? Although of course, he could have been two years older and been about 21 - still extremely young to have a child though. I wonder if it'll be relevant that he was at school with the Marauders, but probably not.

*laughs* I would have thought Albus was a bit old to be smacked.

Love the part about the house elf army.

*stares at "she really likes to be naked"* That's quite amusing.

And Albus has his dad's Invisibility Cloak. That'll come in handy, I'm sure.

They are in SO much trouble. One of the portraits is bound to tell McGonagall what they've done.

There's a bit of a difference between reading about a Charm and being able to perform it. I'd imagine any 1st year, no matter how smart, would need weeks and weeks of practice to be able to perform a 4th year charm.

Author's Response: HEY!

Back again with a chunky review! How am I supposed to answer this?! Hahahaha.
Yep, my moody little man is alway going to have his dad's past actions hanging over his head. They don't have a strong relationship but it gets better by the end of this story. I hope. D':
You find out more answers to the Death Eater kids murders towards the end. Its not what you might think but its pretty awful, ad its somethin hat I've been trying to get just right. So many questions but you'll get your answers eventually. :D
Hahaha, Albus and his friends will have a major part to play in this mystery with the murders. He just doesn't know how much.
I think Lucius was fifteen when Snape, Lily and the gang went to Hogwarts. I remember something from Snape's memories (R.I.P!) saying something about him having a Prefect's badge. But I may be wrong and I've already tweaked this story alot away from canon so forgive me. Hahaha.
Nah, Albus isn't too old to be smacked!
Long live the house-elves! Hahahaha.
Yes, the Invisbility Cloak is important later. :D
And yes, they are in SO much trouble that it doesn't even have a chance to sink in. Hahahaha. :D
Remember my friend, that they're just kids. There's alot that they still don't understand but I doubt if they'd have been able to perform a fourth year spell right even if they WERE older. Hahahaha.
Thanks for coming back!
Much love,

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Review #35, by MargaretLane Mashed Potatoes

15th December 2012:
Hmm, I wonder if this series is going to end up Scorpius/Rose (if you are planning a series; you mentioned something about a sequel in your response to my review).There's something in their arguing that makes me think it's not entirely impossible. After all, Ron and Hermione weren't exactly friendly at the beginning of Philosopher's Stone.

*pokes Albus for his comment about listening to a girl complaining* Complaining on and on is a personality thing, not a gender one. I know plenty of guys who complain constantly and plenty of stoic women.

Author's Response: Hello!

No, this will NOT be a Scorpy/Rose. Just thought I'd put that out there to spare you from wondering about it. I'm not interested in that pairing at all and I don't want to fall in line with other fanfics. Unless I do it differently, which I doubt. :p
Anyhoo, poke at Albus for that thought! He's pretty silly and regards girls as "Unknown territory" so forgive him. Hhahaha.
Thanks for coming back again!
Much love,

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Review #36, by MargaretLane The Match

15th December 2012:
OK, coming back sooner than I did before because I'm intrigued as to what Zabini is doing. Your chapter summary seems to imply Albus is in for a surprise.

*grins* In response to your response, I haven't read all the Next Gens in existence, obviously, but of those I have read, I don't think I've ever come across vampire attacks being the mystery nor do I think I've come across a situation where it was the sons and daughters of ex-Death Eaters who were being attacked. The only story that included anything at all similar is Gryffin_Duck's story about Albus's third year, which I think you've read. And the context there was very different.

Something in your last chapter made me grin a little, because of my own story, but I can't say any more without giving away something about my ending.

*cracks up* Albus is getting a little dramatic here. I wonder what Neville is thinking of it all. I'm actually laughing at the mental image of him dragging Neville up to the castle.

Love Neville here. I guess it makes sense that he'd have a good deal of insight about what it feels like trying to live up to a famous father and feeling you'll never be as good.

I like the way you deal with Albus and Scorpius's friendship. It makes sense that a lot of people would be reluctant to accept it.

*cracks up at Neville's explanation to Zabini*

This is a very nit-picky thing, but I'm wondering if the teachers would use each other's first names in front of students, particularly first years. I guess they might since both Albus and Scorpius's fathers were at school with them and would know their names anyway, but in my experience teachers tend to use official titles in front of students.

Aw, it makes perfect sense that Neville would carry the coin around with him, since it meant so much to him.

And I love Albus and Scorpius's messing.

Also like the way your characters are taking what Draco did at school seriously. I've read a couple of next gens where Ron is portrayed as being petty and just holding a grudge for disliking Draco and where he says things like "but he called Hermione a Mudblood and he played jokes on us", as if those were the worst things he did and his joining the Death Eaters and trying to kill Dumbledore, almost killing Ron in the attempt never even happened. I do have sympathy for Draco. He was dragged into something he probably didn't even fully understand, but at the same time, Harry, Ron and Hermione do have good reason to be angry at him and it's not like they are just being mean and holding a bit of teasing against him for years. So it's nice to see that acknowledged.

Aw, it's kind of sad that Rose is upset about being in Ravenclaw. I'm assuming it's just because she's not with her family. Or is there something more to it?

I think Albus is wrong to be interrupting Professor Smith like that. For one thing, it's not appropriate for a student to interrupt a teacher without so much as raising their hand and for another, just because the Dementors have been removed from Azkaban doesn't mean nobody will ever have to face them. If anything, it would make it more likely they would as who knows where they are now? Presumably he wouldn't be likely to be entering Azkaban.

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad that you've come back and its good to see such a long review! Like, seriously, this review is HUGE. I was like, "Wow, what to do with this monster?" hahaha.
I have not read many NG's myself so I know what you mean. The ones I've read arewhen most of the gang are alot older, around fifteen or sixteen so the tones were really different. More like teen dramas if you know what I'm getting at? They're addictive too, I love them to death! :D I think one or two are on my favorite's page.
That's what's funny about Albus though, he exaggerates ALOT and makes a big deal out of everything. But its something that I love about him, he's still a child and it comes off in moments like these.
I'm a HUGE fan of Neville but haven't gotten around to writing for him yet. But having him in the story was such a fangirl moment because I love him to death. He's just so awesome! :D
I think the bulk of this story deals with Albus and Scorpy's friendship. I wanted to play around with it and give it more depth, I mean, they're only boys and they are NOT their fathers.
I think I recall a few moments when the teachers said each other's names in front of the students. But that might have been when they were older but Zabini is so...unsettling and uncaring for rules that saying "Neville" instead of "Professor Longbottom" in front of Albus and Scorpy is his way of saying, "Who gives a crap?" hahahaa. He's a jerk like that.
As for the way Draco's past actions are regarded in this story, it was very important to me to put that out there. I didn't want people to just ignore it or hold petty grudges about it becuase someone really could have gotten hurt. And the fact that he betrayed Harry, Ron and Hermione AGAIN after they saved his butt in the Room or Requirement has to be taken into consideration. He may not have known how to handle what he'd been thrown into but still, he had his own free will when it came to that Battle. It was something that always, always aggravated me! That was the time to change and fight for the good side but he shamed himself by not steppin up. I might touch on that later on in this story too, sigh.
Anyhoo, just ignore Rose. She's a major brat for right now and it does have more to do with her family, she can't seem to be her own person right now. It gets better for her though, I promise.
Hahah, I don't think Albus was wrong for interrupting Smith completely. He was being rude and I didn't want Albus to come off as passive, so my apologies. Hahaha.
Hahha, and you're right about the Dementors too but shsh, don't tell anyone. Hahaha.
Thanks for coming back and I hope this was a decent response to this LARGE review! Hahaha.
Much love,

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Review #37, by MargaretLane Rose's Bargain

15th December 2012:
Love the line about souls escaping from the living.

And yikes, Zabini is beginning to seem even WORSE than Snape's because at least Snape had an understandable reason to hate James (not that that was any reason to hate Harry, since, you know, children are not their parents, but still) but Zabini and Harry hardly even knew each other.

*laughs at the part about nobody ever hugging him* Reminds me of this lecturer at college that nobody liked and one day I was wondering if she was married and one of my friends said "of course she's not. Sure, who'd marry her?"

You've spelled Scorpius as "Scorpious".

And that's a little sinister - the potion he chooses to have them make. I doubt he's going to be the villain in this though. Like Snape in Philosopher's Stone, he's a bit too obvious (although I did believe he was guilty then, because I didn't entirely realise the books were mysteries and I couldn't see how they could get past the fact that he was seen casting a spell at Harry).

*laughs at him turning the handkerchief into women's underwear* Embarrassing.

Hmm, these attacks are rather intriguing. I haven't seen vampire attacks as a mystery in next gen fanfic before. And certainly not attacks on kids of Death Eaters.

*stares* Why would Draco be behind the attacks? Typical Prophet - making accusations without any evidence whatsoever and I guess they can get away with it because they didn't say he did it, just that they don't know if he did, which is true about everybody. *laughs* That's pretty realistic for how a newspaper would phrase gossip like that.

I wonder if James is just trying to scare Albus and Scorpius by saying Zabini is a vampire or if he really has some reason for thinking so. I'd imagine the former, but you never know.

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks for coming back and reading this! I had started working on this ages ago and I'm always really surprised by the reaction to it, I never thought it'd be noticed by ANYONE.
Zabini is sort of worse than Snape but his reasons for acting the way he does comes about later on. He doesn't precisely hate Albus, he just sort of hates kids that seem to think they know everything about the War. He'll mention it later on in the story, I think, somewhere down the line and the person he really can't sand it Draco Malfoy. Hint, hint. Hahaha.
They were in Slytherin together and some stuff went down their last year at Hogwarts. I don't really elaborate on that until much later, not even in the chapters I have done. :D
Oh, yes, I'm very well aware that I've spelt Scorpius's name wrong. You're the first person to point that out to me! It started out as an honest typo but for whatever reason, I've just left it, even if its wrong. You'll know my moody little monster from all the other NG's from this mistake but I might spell it correctly in the sequel, just so I won't annoy anyone.
But I haven't gotten any complaints...hm.
Anyhoo! Zabini was a little, uhm, mean about that potion he made them make. But he's sort of like that, he's a bit of a jerk and he may or may not be the villain in this story. Well, he sort of it, but not for the reasons the kids think. Haha. >:D
Ooh, you like my vampire idea huh? I had to push the story along and that seemed to work but I thought there'd been something similar in Next Gen. No? Well, that's surprising. There are about a million of them!
And you'll see more panties throghout this story, just as a warning. They get sexier as the story goes on and its sort of Albus's trademark. :D
Yes, typical Prophet, making lies about people! They have no clue what's going on and its pretty obvious from that newspaper clipping.
The rumor about Zabini being a vampire is something that spread around the school for years. James is just adding to it, like a good older brother. Hahaha.
Thanks for reading!
I'll hop onto your NG soon!
Much love,

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Review #38, by CassiePotter Sneak and Rescue

6th December 2012:
I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEY'RE GOING INTO THE FORBIDDEN FOREST AT NIT TO SEE IF ZABINI IS IN THERE. At least Lav tried to talk sense into them! I applaud her efforts! Haha.
I'm just so excited to see what happens next! You are such a tease, because you always cut off chapters right before the really important parts when I want to know what happens! First A Force of Wills and now Albus... I don't know what I'm going to do while I wait for updates to find out what happens! Haha.
Scorpius was cracking me up during this chapter! I love him! My favorite quote of his has to be "Shut up! And anyway, Lav, there may not be any moonlight but I could have been spread out in all my glory in here!" hahahaha that was hilarious and can absolutely picture Scorpius saying it! :)
I loved this entire chapter and can't wait for the next one! Is Benjamin going to make his appearance soon? I can't wait! I'll keep you in the loop with my updates, which will hopefully be happening soon! Haha. 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

So you're back and you're reading Albus! Hahah. Aren't these kids just something else? They keep throwing themselves into trouble and then wondering why nothing goes right. Hahaha. My poor little Misfits.
I'm going to have to type the next chapter really well because I know that I was being a tease and cutting it off so soon. Hahaha. Forgive me! It would have been too long if I'd kept going and I don't want to have you guys up all night! And speaking of up all night, they're going into the Forest! What a naughty idea, huh? There are scarier things in the Forest than Zabini, just to point that out there. Hahaha.
Hehehe. A Force of Wills is just going to get even harder for you because I have so much planned! Hahahaha.
If you wanted, you could check out my story "Memories" with Mr. George Weasley, it has a second chapter. That should tide you off until Abandon is back up there, hopefully today or tomorrow. My updates always take so long! D':
Isn't Scorpy just great? He can come up with some stuff to say! And its HILARIOUS. This story is just really fun to write because who says stuff like that? Like, ever?! Hahahaha.
Oh. Ben shows up in...two more chapters I think if things go right but maybe sooner if I continue the plot where its going. Hm. Well, when you see him, you'll probably burst out laughing at some of the stuff HE says. Oh, Ben. Hahaha.
Look forward to Abandon! ;)
And I'LL be looking forward to more updates from you, you tease! Hahaha.
Much love and thanks for always coming back!

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Review #39, by xyz A Trio

4th December 2012:
this story just gets better and better!
I've been reading for ages instead of doing homework, but it's really worth it. I wish I could give you an 11 out of 10, but since it's impossible I'll just give you 10/10 :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, welcome back! Thanks for continuing to read on and oh my goodness! Do your homework! I don't want you failing because of me! Hahahah. You're being way too kind to me, I think I might just blush and keel over. Thanks again! I really didn't think anyone liked this story this much! :D
Much love,

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Review #40, by xyz Rose's Bargain

4th December 2012:
Great story!
I wasn't sure if it would be worth reading, but I can't stop now!
I love how James is an obnoxious prat, Zabini is the new Snape
(possibly minus the love story, though) and Al and Scorpius are best
friends. Even though I'm a Ravenclaw, I like Rose trying to get into
Griffindor. That's all I've got to say, I guess, but good work and carry
on writing!

Author's Response: Hello!

We've never spoken before so its really nice to meet you and thanks for reading! I always get so embarrassed and flattered. >_<
I think by this chapter, I'd set up my characters pretty well. James and his friend Mason are my Fred and George, Zabini as you say is the new Snape, though I'm not sure about the love story just yet. Hahahaha.
Al and Scorpy are my Ron and Harry and their Hermione comes later. Hahaha.
I'm a Hufflepuff so I thought it was hilarious that Rose was trying so hard to be a Gryffindor. Go Rose! Hhahahaha. Give in to peer pressure!
Thanks for the compliments, you're too sweet! The story is farther along than I would have ever thought so have fun if you continue on!
Much love,

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Review #41, by MargaretLane The Sorting Hats Choice

28th November 2012:
To be nitpicky, "blimey" sounds a rather stereotypically English thing for an Irish character to say. Of course, I don't know who his mother is or where he grew up, but he sounded quite Irish up to that point, so it sounded a little out of place to me.

You also have "no oen is going to blame Peeves", instead of "no-one".

*grins* I expected they'd both be Gryffindors, so I was pretty confused when the Sorting Hat seemed to put Albus in Sytherin. Not so much that I appeared to be wrong as the way it happened.

I wonder is that just to show how panicked he is (probably) or if there could be something more to it.

Wow, Rose is in Ravenclaw. I assumed she'd be with Albus, Scorpius and Chris. I like that you've put Albus and Rose in different houses. It's original. Most people, myself included, seem to put them together, so a change is interesting. And it gives Albus more chance to get to know Scorpius and other students if he doesn't have a ready made friend in his house.

Hmm, I'm now beginning to wonder if there was something more to that thing with the Sorting Hat as you've drawn more attention to it. I can't imagine what it could be though.

*laughs* Louis sounds a little like Percy only more obnoxious.

Author's Response: Hello!

So, you've come back and welcome, hope you're enjoying the story and its many, many mistakes. Hahahah.
I see what you mean when I had Chris saying "Blimey" but at the time I hadn't really thought too much on his background. He's not a very important character for this story either but becuase I have his mother being British, could you forgive me? I'm an American fanfic writer and there's alot that I don't know about British slang so you'll have to forgive me. Like, alot. :p
Ah! Thanks for pointing out that mistake too, I've been meaning to go back and do some editing big time for this story but I just haven't had the time for it. It sort of sucks! D':
You know, I don't think alot of people expected me to put the boys in Gryffindor, I've had alot of people saying that they'd expexted them to be in Slytherin. Or something like that but I just didn't want to do it, it would have just been torture for them both. :p
Oh, the Sorting Hat thing was just Albus's imagination getting the best of him. He sort of does that alot throghout this entire story, but the Hat itself does play an important role in the next few chapters. Its all about the boys not really figuring out who they are, which I guess plays a much larger part in the later half of the story.
Yes, Rose is a Ravenclaw. Sort of ironic isn't it when she had wanted to be a Gryffindor, right? Hahaha. I think alot of people wanted Albus, Scorpy and Rose to be my Trio but I'm afraid that I strayed away from that. I couldn't have the three of them friends because to be honest, Rose isn't that much of a player in this story, she shows up quite a bit but she's not the focus. My Trio is pretty different from some of the others that I've read but I didn't do it to try and be cool or anything. I just did it because I'd wanted to play around with something kind of different. :p
The Sorting Hat comes into play later, if you were going to read on but there's nothing really too mysterious. Albus just has a weird imagination. :D
Louis is alot like Percy!!! I think I sort of did that without thinking but it is pretty funny, right? :D
Anyway, thanks for coming back and I hope you enjoy the story as you read along!
Much love,

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Review #42, by CassiePotter The Interrogation

25th November 2012:
Gabbie, this chapter was awesome! You write Hagrid so well!!! It was really enjoyable to read!
I loved how different all the kids' personalities are, and how they clash a little bit. It makes things interesting, especially because Scorpious is so moody! Haha. And I am SO EXCITED for the chapter when they see Benjamin. Sorry... I just had a fangirl moment. Heehee. But his letter was really fun to read, because it's so Ben but it's different than how we normally see him because he's talking to his brother and not Roxanne. I can't wait to find out what happens next and who's killing the death eater kids! I hope they find out and stop whatever it is! ASOS is in the works right one, but it should be up soon! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

I would have answered this yesterday for you but the wifi at the library was being a major jerk and cut off on me! I got my laptop fixed, have I mentioned that? I'm so happy! :D
Anyway, I took my time to write Hagrid. I wasn't sure if I would portray him well at all and I was worried that I hadn't done a good job. His speech patterns are really hard to grasp! D':
Oh, the kids. I tried to make them all a little different and I might try to in the future as well since Sue and Rose are starting to merge into one person. Ick! Hahahaha.
They will clash but they're the sort of people that will be thrown together more and more often until they explode. Hahahaha.
Scorpy...my moody little guy. Things won't be looking up for him I'm afraid. ;)
You fangirled?! Hahaha. YES! Currently in Abandon, Ben isn't the most likeable person and one of my other reviewers was like, "I hope Roxie shows him!" hahahhaah.
Anyway, his letter was pretty fun for me to write, it has everything about his personality in it that you need to uhm, worry about. The way he talks to Scorpy is alot different from Roxanne of course and he's sort of a bully too. To both of them. Hahahah.
He'll be showing up soon, in I think the next chapter or something? I'm not sure. I have to look at my chicken scratch notes! :p
Anyway, the kids will slowly begin to realize that the Death Eater kid murders are not as they seem. I hope the truth surprises you! And thanks for coming back!!! Can't wait for ASOS! :D
Much love,

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Review #43, by CassiePotter A Bit of Doubt

25th November 2012:
I'm so glad Albus is ok! I was worried about him!!! And I have a feeling that he and his friends are onto something, even if they don't know it yet! Albus got a little something out of Madame Brown, so maybe that can help them! And what was Louis the prefect holding? Im curious... Is it important? I have to go read the next chapter and see what Benjamin's letter says! And I'm just excited that Ben is sort of in the next chapter :) 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hello!

Good to see you back! I couldn't have Albus being in critical condition after that hex from Goyle but hes' all right now! :D
He and his friends are on to something, even if they don't really know what it is just yet but everything hopefully comes to light sooner or later. Yep, he got something from Madame Brown but there's still alot of mystery surrounding it and Louis? Well, its sort of important but I will keep my mouth shut on the why and such. Hehehehe.
Benjamin's letter is almost exactly like Ben! Hahahaha. He shows up sooner or later so don't worry about him just yet! Hahaha.
Anyway, Audrey should be up soon so expect that and I'll try to get A Force of Wills done too so I can stuff it into the queue!
Thanks for coming back, its always a pleasure!
Much love,

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Review #44, by MargaretLane On the Hogwarts Express

23rd November 2012:
You've one sentence chopped in half in this chapter. "And then thinking

you have to be evil because of them".

*cheers for Albus standing up for what he believes in*

I bet Albus and Scorpius are both going to be in Gryffindor. And it seems like there's a bit of a mystery about Scorpius's family and background. Interesting.

Author's Response: Hello!

We've never spoken before so its nice to meet you and thanks for reading! It means alot to this old lady you know. This was my first ever fanfic and there are alot of grammar issues with it that I'll go back and change. I haven't had the time lately and it sort of sucks but I think I know where that fragment is! Thanks for pointing it out to me anyway! You're a doll! ;)
Oh, yes, my Albus is a good boy that has no luck. If you keep reading, you'll see just what I mean. Hahahah.
Anyway, there is alot of mystery surrounding Scorpy's family and you'll get hints of it in chapters to come. Stay tuned! :D
Thanks so much! Have a cookie!
Much love,

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Review #45, by Phoenix_feather123 The Interrogation

12th November 2012:
Hey Gabbie!

Wow, this chapter was really long! I can't get mine to be half as long as yours!

Enough of that. I thought you chapter was as good as all the one's before. Since this was a long chapter, I have a lot to say:

Some parts where really funny. I really liked this line, 'Albus was worried that he might make Rose jump around in her underwear or run around with a beehive on her head.'

I also really liked the part when the trio and Rose and sue went to visit hagrid. I think you know how to write him really well.

And I honestly dont like Sue at all.

And another thing. It looks like your little friends are entering the brink of trouble huh? Mine just got a nasty surprise in the last chapter. But I don't want to spoil it, and besides, I think you have a few more chapters to go before then

It was really nice to come and see your little guys again and I hope you come and visit mine.

Author's Response: Hello!

Welcome back! I have such a bad habit of making my chapters ridiculously long and I'm trying to get out of it so forgive me! D':
Thanks for liking the chapter too! I wasn't sure what I was doing with it, to be honest but its nice to see that you still enjoyed it! Hahah, that line you liked so much is pretty funny, Albus has the weirdest imagination doesn't he? Hahaha, he's so cute. :D
Yes, the trio went to see Hagrid because they're super nosy and think they know things! I had wanted to write that part in the story for quite a while but hadn't had the time to get to it.
I don't think anyone likes Sue. :p
Yes, my Misfits are getting into more and more trouble and it just gets worse from here!!! Mwhahahaha. >:D
But I'll be getting back to your story really soon, I'm sorry that you haven't been getting any of my reviews! Real life sucks! >:(
Can't wait to catch up! See you on the forums of course and thanks again, you're too sweet!
Much love,

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Review #46, by Sheriff The Interrogation

7th November 2012:
Hmm, how much have they learned? How much do they know now that they didn't know already? Rumours confirmed, confused, or misled?

Now what are you going to do with the Quidditch match?

Nice to see the children are all getting on well with each other and managing to go a few minutes without beating each other up now!

Author's Response: Hello!

I couldn't give away too much in this chapter and to be honest, I actually forgot to put something important in with it! I'll have to figure it out some other kind of way. I'm trying to have most or all of the many, many questions answered by the time the Holidays come up. So much happens during Halloween though and I have to brace myself for good critique from you my friend. D': Hope to see you soon!
P.S.: I have a slight idea for the Quidditch match and the kids won't be getting along for too much longer. They'll probably wind up beating each other up sooner rather than later if I have my way. Hahaha.
Much love,

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Review #47, by Sheriff A Bit of Doubt

7th November 2012:
Still convinced that they're completely on the wrong track. Not sure I follow all the references to who's a vampire, who isn't a vampire, and who the misfits think is a vampire but really isn't...


Author's Response: Hello!

I'll let you know right now that they're on the wrong track. It was pretty intentional and most of the things I have planned sort of go down at Halloween, I'm still having so much work to do. Sorry if its getting confusing for you on what's what and who supposedly is this. I honestly had no idea what I was doing for this story and its showing on the chapters that I actually worked on recently. My apologies.D':
Much love,

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Review #48, by Sheriff Dueling the Prince

7th November 2012:
Cliffhanger! Aaaargh. fortunately I can just go and press "next chapter" and everything will be alright. I am glad that Sheriff the piranha has been keeping himself busy (I've never been fond of cats, either).

Maybe it's just me, but I actually find myself liking your Zabini. I think he's on the good side; if a little sadistic about it all...

Author's Response: Hello!

Been a while but its nice to have you back! How was your trip and such? Anyway, I didn't mean to put that cliffhanger there, I just sort of didn't have any other ideas left! Hahaha, isn't that sort of awful to say?
Yes, Sheriff has been keeping himself busy these last few months and I'm pretty sure he's going to be eating more cats if he can't get his teeth on Scorpy first. Hahaha.
I actually do like my Zabini. He's an interesting character to write for and its sort of hard not to eventually like him, even if he is scary.
Did you get my questions on your MTA answered yet?! :D
Much love and thanks for coming back!

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Review #49, by BKL8008 Dueling the Prince

27th October 2012:
Wow, excitement! Always a good fight, even if it is just training. I like how even the staff thinks that Smith is a joke, which of course, he is.

Author's Response: Hello!

Its good to see you back again! Yes, I know, I had to put a little fighting in the actual Dueling Club. Originally, I hadn't but I thought, "Well. Isn't that just silly?" and had to do some major editing.
And yes, Smith is like, the biggest joke that's ever been. You'll be seeing him more often I think but he's not really that big of a character. I think he's more like my Lockhart? Hahaha. Anyway, there's another chapter if you were hoping to continue on!
Much love,

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Review #50, by Phoenix_feather123 A Bit of Doubt

26th October 2012:
Ok, to reviews in one day, you are a lucky person are you? Soo, I think this is really good, and I can't help but think about Zabini. *lightbulb* Oh! What if he is a Half Vampire Half Werewolf? That would be horrible, wouldn't it? Considering that Vampires and Werewolfs are enimes. :O

Author's Response: Hello again!

o_O I feel so honored that you've reviewed both of these chapters! Gosh, I'm so flattered. You're too sweet to this old lady. Hahha.
Anyway, thanks for liking this! This chapter sort of hints at things that are going to come later on in the story. I have the entire story finished on paper in the form of horrible notes, I just have to type them out. But anyway, Zabini is a mystery isn't he? So much of what I wanted to do with this story revolves around him you know.
You find out the truth in a few, I promise.
Oh, goodness! A half vampire/werewolf hybrid? Merlin, that's so scary! :o
Then again...an idea has formed for something else. Thanks! >:D
What Zabini is will be revealed in little bits and pieces. The next chapter shall be up right after I finish it and after I update for one of my other angsty stories. So, yeah. Look out for it then!
And thanks! *Hugs*
Much love,

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