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Reading Reviews for Lily's Daughter?
  
85 Reviews Found

Review #51, by unknown I Guess It's Not Happily Ever After...Not Even Close

12th April 2012:
I have to say I don't understand why they had to die. Isn't it bad enough that her birth parents died? Why do her adopted parents have to die too? Now don't think I'm trying to criticize your writing. It is outstanding; I just don't understand the plot twist.

Author's Response: Yeah I was kind of mad at myself for writing it at all, but I feel like it's necessary. The "plot twist" is going to allow for some character development I want to happen and it just sort of happened. When I originally thought of this story Harry and Ashley both lived with the Dursleys, but that got cut. And a quote I saw pretty much sums this up "It bothers me when people confess that 'such and such a character didn't deserve to die'. The message of the Harry Potter book is that death is real, cruel, and unbiased. No one dies just because they "deserve" it or is spared because they don't. Death is coming for everyone, no matter how scared we are to die."

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Review #52, by thehpyears The Potter's Daughter

3rd April 2012:
I invite you to read "The Potter Years", keep writing..

Author's Response: Hey I read it and I love the idea! But it's a little hard to follow. And you can bet I'll keep writing, not even a raging Hippogriff could keep Ashley and I at bay, especially since she would just tell it to chill out.

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Review #53, by plo I Guess It's Not Happily Ever After...Not Even Close

3rd April 2012:
i guess she definitely won't allow malfoy to say anything about her parents now :(
i thought the blue glow might of been some protection spell on her, but now i'm thinking it's her magic being strong enough to see and cast without a wand or incantation?
so will she tell anyone what's happened or hide it from them? would she be able to hide it with her emotionless voice? where will she live? (i suppose i'll have to keep reading to find out right?)
anyway i still liked the chapter even though its sad, and thanks for not leaving the cliffhanger for ages ;) are you planning on taking Ashley through all the years then or just seeing how it goes? i'd probably read it still if you did as i like it, so keep going until you don't want to i guess is what i'm saying :)

Author's Response: Oh yeah I'm pretty sure if Malfoy said a single word about her parents she'd probably hex him into next tuesday. Good guess on the bluish glow and the way I see it now (and nothing's set in stone, Ashley is definately in charge of this story) it's a little bit of both, mostly the latter though. As for telling anyone and where she'll be living--keep reading. Glad you liked it, and I am planning on taking Ashley through her years at Hogwarts and likely after, because I have all these crazy half-formed schemes and things that will happen. And besides how could I leave this story knowing none of you know what happened when the world finds out who she really is?

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Review #54, by Starkidgleek Happy Christmas and Merry Holidays

1st April 2012:
Ahhh! amazing! and i just have one question... is timmy mcgee the mcgee from ncis only younger, or is he his son? stupid question, but Im lazy and dont feel like looking back :P Great chapter, and I can't wait for more!

Author's Response: YEAH ANOTHER NCIS GEEK! And yes Timmy McGee is a younger version of our very own probie. In my world Zach McDonald and Admiral McGee are Navy buddies. I'm so glad you liked it and I'm going to try and get the next chapter up soon. And don't worry about being lazy, I'm lazy all the time. Like right now I should really be studying for an AP Exam, but instead I'm answering reviews and writing the next chapter. :D

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Review #55, by JohannaMarie You've Got to be Kidding Me

22nd March 2012:
That was nice. What's up with the bluish glow coming from her hands though? Some sort of shield?

Author's Response: Yeah the bluish glow was some sort of shield, and we'll get back to that later. It's just wierd becuase she called up something with power beyond what her capabilities should allow and she didn't use her wand.

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Review #56, by JohannaMarie Lessons in More Than Just Flying

22nd March 2012:
That's nice, but it kind of sucks because that means one of the original chasers won't be on the team - probably Katie because I think she's the youngest :(

Author's Response: yeah I did regretably have to kick one player off the team, but it won't be Katie. It was so hard picking someone to kick off, but I'm hoping to still get them in the story somewhere.

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Review #57, by Starkidgleek You've Got to be Kidding Me

16th March 2012:
yay! I was kinda down before this chapter but now I feel happy! (i dont know why, i just am now) I love your witting, and I can't wait for more. I hope that hermione and ashley become really close friends!

Author's Response: Thanks I'm so glad my writing makes you feel that way. And as for the friendship of Hermione and Ashley...we'll see.

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Review #58, by bookworm_hermione Lessons in More Than Just Flying

1st March 2012:
Definetly Loved it
awesome

Author's Response: Thanks so much

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Review #59, by PandorasBox13 Lessons in More Than Just Flying

29th February 2012:
It's great so far! I love it, keep writing more! (:

Author's Response: Thanks glad you're liking it

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Review #60, by Jamespotterlove Lessons in More Than Just Flying

27th February 2012:
Great but please finish the story

Author's Response: sorry this promises to be a long one...and then I'm planning to continue it past year one

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Review #61, by Taylor Potter Lessons in More Than Just Flying

26th February 2012:
i love ur story its honestly the best one ever
thanx for writing it

Author's Response: Thanks I'm so glad you are enjoying it

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Review #62, by taylor The Test

18th February 2012:
this is an amazing story
its completly awesome i love it

Author's Response: Thanks...I'm so glad you like it :)

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Review #63, by PetraMorganstern Questions Answered & a Trip to the U.K.

17th February 2012:
I love the premise! And your writing style is superb. However, the main character, Ashley, seems to be a bit Mary-Sue. She needs more flaws to be believable, otherwise she'll become quite annoying.

Author's Response: Yeah I'm trying to get her personality through, and I think I've done better in later chapters. In my head she has this huge personality; she's tough, super loyal, a bit of a mother hen, brave, really kind, and she has a redheaded temper. It's just getting it to come out through words that's difficult, if I could just project my thoughts it would be so much easier.

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Review #64, by JohannaMarie Portraits, Potion Masters, and Prats...Oh, My!

8th February 2012:
That was a chapter worth waiting for! I think you did a really good job of covering her first week at Hogwarts without repeating everything from the books. You changed just the right amount too! Not so much that it's unbelievable, but enough that we can see the story is going to evolve differently. Her confrontation with Malfoy was epic, and I just had to laugh at McGonagall, "she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something very obvious about Ashley that she was missing." ah, the power of the Fidelius. The "He-Who-Has-A-Ridicculus-Name" was pretty good too :D only other thing I though of- When Hermione does eventually figure out how much education Ashley has in the muggle world, how likely is she to ask that Ashley tutor her in muggle subjects as well as her regular magic classes?

Author's Response: Glad I didn't change do much or to little. The Malfoy thing just had to happen and there will be plenty more to happen between them, because not only does she just not like him he likes to pick on Neville. Oh and it will become very important that she didn't get mad until Malfoy mentioned her family, because she is super protective of those she cares about. McGonagall is missing the fact that she looks just like Lily, and that she is super smart. Voldy's new name I just threw in becuase I always thought it was really stupid, I mean Darth Vadar sounds menacing, Voldemort? No it sounds like some fancy pastry. Hermione may or may not ask, as they may or may not be friends. That is the question...

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Review #65, by grindewaldsson It's Just a Ratty Old Hat...Right?

26th January 2012:
i like it. just make a meaningful connection between harry and his twin before u break the news please. :)

Author's Response: Oh there definately will be connections and interactions because there is a hidden clue in chapter one that tells you almost exactly when Ashley and Harry will know that they are brother and sister

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Review #66, by gridewaldsson The Potter's Daughter

26th January 2012:
good premise. i like it. i just hope u dont overuse the time jumps.

Author's Response: glad you liked it...and sorry I'll try not to overuse the time jumps but I'll give you fair warning they will certainly happen(unless you mean how it jumped around just in the first chapter in that case it won't) if you mean the jumps of just a few hours or minutes when the POV switches than it will

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Review #67, by Starkidgleek It's Just a Ratty Old Hat...Right?

18th January 2012:
I'm really happy that you didn't repeat everything from the book directly, but still had you own imput... if that make sense... lol I cant wait for more, but take your time to maybe make the chapter longer? Thanks!

Author's Response: Glad you liked it...and I totally get what you mean about my own input, I didn't want to just repeat everything Rowling did and insert Ashley into it :D I will try my best to make it longer but sometimes it just won't happen.

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Review #68, by JohannaMarie It's Just a Ratty Old Hat...Right?

18th January 2012:
Very well written! I liked that you put in Snape's POV of first seeing Ashley. Even though the fidelius charm protects her identity, I'm sure it will torture him to see her and Harry in class, especially if they argue or something because without looking at the eyes, he would probably feel as though he is looking at James and Lily :/

Author's Response: I know I am thinking that will be absolutely hilarious, because if he say gets irritated with Ashley, that will hurt him becuase when he looks at her he sees Lily. And also I thought it was important to see the limitations of the fidelius charm.

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Review #69, by JohannaMarie A Scarlet Steam Engine

18th January 2012:
I really like that he became friends with Neville right away. I think it will help his confidence to have a close friends so soon. He always seemed like such a loner.

Author's Response: Yeah I agree I feel like Neville never really got his due...and besides that I have a slight obssession with one Neville Longbottom.

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Review #70, by digbygreen Twas' the Night Before Hogwarts

22nd December 2011:
Great story! Keep it coming.

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

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Review #71, by JohannaMarie Twas' the Night Before Hogwarts

17th December 2011:
oh, that last bit made me laugh! I am glad that Mr. Weasley was the one to come get Ashley :) I was like "oh, a person from the Ministry... hope it's Mr. Weasley" and then you said "Arthur Weasley" and I was like "YAY!" so, like, TOTALLY OMG! - sorry, I just had to ;D

Author's Response: glad you enjoyed my fangirl rhyme. And strangely enough the Mr. Weasley situation was the same for me, originally it was just going to be some anonymous person from the Ministry who would drop her off at the Leaky Cauldron for the night, but then I was like no Weasleys all the way :D

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Review #72, by noh8r2hpfans Twas' the Night Before Hogwarts

12th December 2011:
Hey. Good idea, try spicing it up a bit. Just a suggestion. Really good chapters though.

Author's Response: By "spicing it up" do you mean more action? If so there will hopefully be some more especially when Ashley arrives at Hogwarts, because as we all know life at this school of magic is anything but peaceful... If I missinterpretted your message let me know so I can try and make it happen.

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Review #73, by sakura_lisel One Fateful Halloween

3rd December 2011:
Wait, so WHY did Dumbledore go to the McDonald household and 'quietly sneak inside' in the middle of the night after her birth parents were killed??

Why'd he feel the sudden need to go check on Ashley TONIGHT of all nights, since she was safely thousands of miles away in America, away from what happened to the Potters.

Or did something alert him that something had happened to her after he left Harry at the Dursleys? Though I'm surprised Ashley didn't suddenly start screaming her head off and waking up her 'parents', from the pain caused by her new scar, by the time Dumbledore arrived. *lol*

Author's Response: Dumbledore went to check on Ashley simply because he was worried, I mean Voldemort wasn't suppossed to be able to find the Potters but he did, so naturally Dumbledore thouhght maybe he knew about Ashley too. And Ashley didn't start screaming because remember she was an odd child, understood things she shouldn't have, so she knew it wasn't just an ordinary pain...

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Review #74, by ana The Potter's Daughter

26th November 2011:
Good concept, well paced chapters, expression sometimes a little haphazard, altogether writing flows well and I want to read on - which is the best indicator of a successful beginning to a story!

Author's Response: glad you liked the story...and sorry about the crazy expression my mind just works that way and Ashley keeps knocking me out and doing whatever she likes :D

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Review #75, by JohannaMarie Of School Things and a New World

25th November 2011:
It's a good chapter. Now, can she speak only to owls, magical animals, or any animal she pleases?

Author's Response: this will be revealed when she arrives at Hogwarts (the test McGonagall spoke about) and I'm glad you liked it

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