Reading Reviews for Like a House on Fire
  
331 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Courtney Dark Love the Smell of Blueberries

22nd December 2013:
Tag!

I am always so happy when I get to tag you on the review thread, because it means I get to come back to this!

Okay, this is going to be a short review, sorry about that, because I was meant to leave five minutes ago, but got caught up in this awesome chapter!

My favourite part of the chapter was definitely in the common room. I loved how Millie and Sirius were totally acting like a couple, even though they're only fake dating.

I also wonder if Remus will be the first to uncover their secret? He does seem to be the most intuitive.

Of course, I also loved the scene just between Millie and Sirius - I think they are finally starting to understand and get to know each other. And aw, Sirius, opening up and putting that blanket over Millie. He's so adorable and I want him to be mine!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: It's so lovely of you to keep reading this little project of mine. As this was my first fanfic, I look back on it, especially some of the earlier chapters, and wonder what on earth I was thinking. I love keeping this up though because the feedback that I get on this story is just so wonderful!

Millie and Sirius really need to get their act together. Unfortunately, it takes them an incredibly long time to do so.

I think this is the chapter where Sirius starts his streak of adorableness. I don't think there's not at least one moment per chapter from here on where he isn't adorable - I just want to give him a big hug!

Thanks so much for reviewing!


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Review #27, by Courtney Dark Things You Really Don't Want to Know

19th December 2013:
Tag!

Aw, this chapter so was so short and sweet - I loved it!

I really love Millie's character. She's so funny, yet pretty down to earth at the same time! But she's also not very subtle about the fact that she and Sirius are fake-dating - I can't believe Lily hasn't figured it out already!

Comfortable silence, did I hear? That's definitely a step in the right direction! But then, of course, they have to go and ruin it by getting into a fight about how many girlfriends/boyfriends they've had - not impressed!

And I think Millie was definitely right when she said that she and Sirius were alike in more ways than she cared to admit. They're almost like the same person!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Millie is the strangest character I've written to date. She's just full of contradictions and weird ways of thinking of things. Lily probably hasn't figured anything out because she's so wrapped up in her own blossoming love life!

Yes! Comfortable silence = progress, right? For those two, probably not, but it's one step closer!

They really are quite similar aren't they - maybe in all the wrong ways...

Thanks so much for this wonderful review!


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Review #28, by Secret Santa!! Love the Smell of Blueberries

17th December 2013:
Hello again! I'm back, and reviewing this chapter for, well, no particular reason. ;) 11 just seemed like a great number for a review!!

So much cutesy goodness and dramatic irony here!! I was just squirming from how silly and cute Sirius and Millie are together. I mean one minute they're having a tickling war without realizing that everyone else is watching, and then Sirius covers her up with a blanket- it's very sweet and I'm looking forward to see what shenanigans they might get up to as a real couple... I mean, if they do get to that point. :P It was nice to see James and Lily so happy together as well and how James thinks that he has real love this time around!

I really liked the nod to how difficult Arithmancy is because it's related to math, right? And math is just so difficult so I can't imagine adding magic into the equation would be any easier. Sirius' story of why he started in the class was so sweet, and shows how he's not just a lady's man but used to resorting to slightly desperate measures to get the attention of the girls he likes. Such as, hmm, fake dating them, that seems like a good way to get a girl's attention, wonder where I heard of that before? :P

Sirius' section at the end was my favourite of the whole chapter I think. I just loved the last line and how he was so curious about the ways of women and the idea of shampoo which smells like blueberries, and how he beats himself up about how to talk to her casually in a way that doesn't make him seem ridiculous. :P He's just a bloke and I love it! I'm so excited for when it sinks in to MIllie that he honestly really likes her and she should like him back because they would be so adorable and have tickle fights all the time. :D

Author's Response: Woohoo! Secret Santa back in the house!

... I won't do that again, I promise.

And 11 is a fantastic number for a review - such a wonderful prime number.

Sirius is so ridiculously adorable in this chapter. Reading over it again, and even I'm sitting there going aww! They'd be such a fun and adorable couple if they just got together already, I know! And poor James and Lily are going to be in for quite a shock in the next chapter, so it's nice while it lasted :P

Maths is difficult. Magic is difficult. A subject that combines the two must be doubly difficult. I can excuse poor Sirius is lack of understanding of Arithmancy. And I really did want to show Sirius as a normal sort of bloke under all that legend stuff - he may be good-looking, but he's only eighteen. He's just not as comfortable with girls as he likes to think. They remain a mystery to him.

Sirius' POV is always fun to write - this was especially so. It's the first time I write about his emerging feelings. And to be frank, he handles it a lot better than Millie does! Goodness knows how long it'll take those two to figure things out between them.

Thank you once again for this wonderful review, Oh gracious Secret Santa!


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Review #29, by Mayonnaise Gone, Gone, Gone

12th December 2013:
If they don't end up together,I'll kill you. PLEASE update now:)

Author's Response: I hope this means you liked the chapter... ;)

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Review #30, by toomanycurls Love the Smell of Blueberries

8th December 2013:
Review tag!!!

I love the girl talk about James and Lily's date! Millie does a great job deflecting about her non-date with Sirius. :D

haha, the boy talk is almost as ridiculous as the girl talk (in terms of silliness and teasing). I do really like seeing James' glee at his date. Ah, I wish they had pushed the subject with Sirius!!

I kind of feel like you could say "I sense an imbalance in the snogging" when Lily and Millie are arguing over Millie being tired. :P

Now, tell me that isn't realy flirting over the couch and all of that. I mean, it was just too flirty and cute to not have them have the relationship feels right then. haha! Remus was quite hilarious with his "is that a euphemism" comment. :D Ah, Remus is such a good mediator. then Millie realized she was being flirty and had to end it. *sigh*

Aw, Sirius make sure she was warm. :D so sweet. Can't they just snog over the homework? I'll be asking you this every chapter or so. (FYI)

Maybe Sirius did need reminding that he's wrong sometimes. :D Millie is funny! I love that about her. Of course he took the course to impress a girl. I do like that he didn't give it up because it's hard. :-o Millie is a good for nothing tease! Leaning in like that, hrm. Awkward pleas for help with homework is so suave. lol, not really but it was hilarious seeing him kind of flip out over it.

Okay, next chapter - Sirius + Millie => snogging

-Rose

Author's Response: Millie is a master of deflection when it comes to Sirius. It is a skill to be envied. And I wish the guys had been more pushy, too! I really wanted Sirius to examine his feelings a little closer, but it's just too early for either of them.

I just loved the irony of writing that little scene with Lily and Millie and snogging. Lily and James are probably snogging every opportunity they can get, whilst Millie and poor Sirius are all "must I REALLY hold your hand?" And Remus is such a mediator between Millie and Sirius, it's actually quite adorable. Wish he'd have more interest in his own love life, though!

The first time they snog isn't over homework, sadly. But when the snogging begins in earnest, it really is quite cute and fluffy. There's just this section of a few chapters where it's all the fluff, all the time, which is something to look forward to, I suppose.

Haha, Sirius can be quite the pighead when it comes to obstacles - which is the only reason I can think why he ends up spending so much effort to "get the girl" by the end of it. I thought he did okay with asking for help, but apparently it wasn't smooth enough for Sirius Black, king of suave!

Thanks for the review - and no snogging, but definite drama in the next chapter!


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Review #31, by Courtney Dark Quidditch Alliances

8th December 2013:
Tag!

I really enjoyed this chapter! I think you wrote the Quidditch game really well - I often find reading Quidditch games boring or over-descriptive, and I think you did a really good job - I especially enjoyed Millie's comparisons between Regulus and Sirius. And her catch was quite spectacular!

Hehe, you characterized Madam Pomfrey perfectly! And I love how concerned Lily (and Sirius, hehe) were for Millie.

Oooh, a double date next chapter! I am definitely looking forward to that. I wonder how disastrously it will go? Or maybe it will go perfectly, and it will all be fluffy clouds and rainbows and unicorns! I also wonder whether anyone will find out that Sirius and Millie are fake dating? And if so, who it will be. I guess I'll have to wait to find out!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: That Quidditch game was the first and last time I've ever attempted to write an action sequence, so thank you very much! I do feel that a Quidditch match is not the best place to reminisce over guys, even if they are the very awesome Black brothers!

That hospital wing scene was weirdly fun to write. Lily was just the best in that!

The date is... not my best piece of writing, ever, but things are definitely... interesting. And it's amazing how those two manage to keep a lid on the reality of their relationship, even now!

Thanks for the review. It's lovely to hear from you, as always :)


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Review #32, by toomanycurls Things You Really Don't Want to Know

7th December 2013:
It's the date chapter!!!

I love Lily's apprehension about wearing the right clothes for her date. So, the jump to a few hours later was choppy but I kind of liked having the mushy date stuff being cut out. It's just kind of perfect as I could see Millie being bored to tears on the date. I do kind of want to know how Black got out. I'll sit here patiently and wait for you to tell me. :P

Gosh, Sirius had to practically beg Millie to admit he's good looking. I don't know if it's funnier that he wanted to hear it so bad or that she was so stubborn in saying it.

They really get into it here. Um, can they just snog now? No? fine...

They need to drop their emotional barriers!! arg

-Rose

p.s. REVIEW TAG!

Author's Response: It is the date chapter indeed!

I have a lot of work to do still with time jumps. I'm terrible at them, so I just have to practise, practise, practise! I don't like writing mushy date stuff, so I didn't write it. And a lot of people are curious as to how Sirius got out... I might keep it a secret just to keep from disappointing people...

Millie was a little reluctant to say anything nice to poor Sirius, wasn't she? She can be downright mean to him sometimes, but I think he handles it well.

The snog is still a few chapters away, and since it was my first ever kissing scene, it wasn't done very well at all - another thing to work on!

And I agree that they need to drop their emotional barriers, but they're young and oh so naive...

Thanks for the review! :)


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Review #33, by toomanycurls Quidditch Alliances

5th December 2013:
300, baby!!

...I get excited over weird things. :D

Quidditch!!! There's quidditch this time?!?! yes!

haha, Lily is very concerned about other people's eating habits.

I'm kind of really into the quidditch tension and action. Millie won't get much quidditch-ing done if she's oggling Regulus. My eyes were like this O.O while Regulus and Millie raced for the snitch. People get hurt all the time in quidditch, it's not bfd. :P

Oh good, Millie got to go to party!

Surely a party will convince Remus to do some snogging!! Poor, poor Sarah.

Burn! Millie can be a little cold. I can see while it will take Sirius a while to be all open with his feelings for her.

I love Lily shock that she might actually like James. I felt like that when I discovered I like green beans.

I do like that they're going on a double date. :D That should be a lot of fun to read!!

-Rose

Author's Response: WOOHOO 300 OH YEAH!

... I too, get excited over weird things.

QUIDDITCH JUST RULES BUT I'M TERRIBLE AT WRITING IT. I think this is literally my one and only attempt at writing an action scene, ever. I need to work on them A LOT.

Regulus makes strange cameos throughout the story in weird and not-really-related-to-the-plot-but-I-like-him ways. I just have a thing for writing him, I guess.

Millie is painfully closed towards Sirius. She's very strange about the way she shares things with him, but eventually, there's a lot of opening up. I don't think it helps her that Sirius' personality is very out there - whatever she discovers about him isn't because he's been hiding it, it's just that they haven't had that sort of relationship before.

... And I must admit, the date chapter needs a lot of work. I think it's one of the worse chapters in terms of random POV switches. Or is that the other date chapter?


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Review #34, by toomanycurls Sleeping After Lunch

4th December 2013:
Oh dear, the friends found out. they have a point about the commitment thing - except they forgot to add perceptive and something else to the list (where the something else is about them being stubborn).

ha, I love that James turned Sirius getting a girlfriend into using his charm to get Lily. :D

I wish I had those napping skillz. I can do that in the car (not while driving - usually) but it's less useful as I don't sit in my car all day.

no, wait, is that all? I mean, I just started reading and now that's the end.

fine... at least there are a million more chapters. :D

-Rose

Author's Response: Yes, the friends found out. The Marauders always seem to take things better than the girls, though... And Millie and Sirius are incredibly alike, that's for sure!

I want those napping skills so bad! However, when I sleep, I am dead to the world.

A million more chapters is... a lot of chapters though!


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Review #35, by toomanycurls Goodnight Darling

3rd December 2013:
Review tag! x2
I wonder if Millie will get hazard pay for this job? :P I mean, fan girls can be a little crazee.

I kind of love (or really love) Sirius and Millie doing homework after hours together. I quite love the idea of Sirius staying up to do homework like everyone else. It might be my favorite thing about the way you wrote him. I mean, others just have him as a guy who skates through with remarkable grades.

And, have I told you recently that I love Millie's inner dialogue - it's funny and quirky and makes me giggle.

Gah! It's clear that Sirius isn't just using her as a dodge for getting socially ridiculed.

Love your story (fyi)!

-Rose

Author's Response: I'm super dooper glad you liked this chapter! I love writing Sirius with normal school problems! I think there's an entire half-chapter later on simply devoted to them just doing homework together which was so much fun to write.

Thanks so much for your wonderful review - your reviews are always so nice and leave me feeling all warm and happy inside!


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Review #36, by toomanycurls Insane Before Christmas

3rd December 2013:
Review Tag!!! (also called diddling away my last few minutes of work)

Making it a few days without being a fake gf is promising. Oh, then Marissa had to go run her mouth about Sirius. I'm pretty sure he'll hear the rumors right away.

Can I hit Rex? He's not going to eventually be a nice guy, right?

...fine, the fake relationship is helpful here. I'm a little less angry about it now. She is kind of stuck between two guys she isn't fond of.

I do love how she deflates his ego after the whole "you get me" line.

Ack! I'm so torn between wanting Sirius to back off and let her not be her fake gf and wanting to push them together. Stop playing with my emotions!!

Um, yeah, she may got mad by Christmas. :P

-Rose

Author's Response: Hello!

I completely get your feelings about the whole fake dating thing - if someone even suggested it to me, I'd probably hit them, then give them a severe lecture, then hit them again for good measure. I don't really dwell on that aspect of it for long - it just comes up at really inopportune times, that's all.

They take their sweet time about liking each other. Sirius is surprisingly very passive about it.

I've written the Christmas chapter - she's crazy by then!


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Review #37, by Courtney Dark Sleeping After Lunch

2nd December 2013:
Hey there!

Ack (yep, I just said ack) I don't care if these chapters are short, they're just so fluffy and cute and fun to read. And I think I'm gonna have to say that Sirius is my favourite character. Ever. He's just so...AWESOMESAUCE!

I did not just say awesome sauce, by the way. You must have misheard me.

Damn, I wish I could fall asleep in class as inconspicuously as Millie! It was save a lot of hassle! Whenever I try to fall asleep, a teacher almost instantly spots me! Anyway, I really enjoyed the Sirius point of view, because he's so perfect!

Looking forward to reading the next chapter! Oh, and I think it is time to add this to my favourites!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello!

There are so many short chapters! I am sorry about that, but I was going through a time where I only had time to read shorter chapters, therefore I wrote shorter chapters myself.

Sirius is a lot of fun to write - he is pretty awesomesauce!

And I wish I could fall asleep the way Millie does, too! I'm jealous of a character of my own making!

Thanks for dropping in!


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Review #38, by willow1 Awkwardness and Adorable Puppies

1st December 2013:
eee! best idea ever! Your going to put in puppy! yayyy!!!

Author's Response: Puppy Sirius is actually adorable. I like him best as puppy Sirius!

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Review #39, by toomanycurls Rain, Rumours and Plans

30th November 2013:
Hello!! Reivew tag!!

I feel as if Remus should come with a huge warning label regarding his ignorance towards advances and flirting. *sigh*

The raining roof is incredible!! I do think holding quidditch hostage is not only a good way to get a confessor but indicates that Dumbledore has a shrewd idea who the perpetrator is.

It was quite an impressive prank. It's not a small feat. Does Lily care about the first quidditch match of the season? Or is she just interested in seeing the marauders punished?

I'm pretty sure Black is *always* paying attention to those details. :D

Suddenly, I wish I lived at Hogwarts and had access to their kitchens. Going to the store for it is so passe.

Millie's perceptiveness is hilarious. I mean, she was spot on noticing Sirius' mood but it made me laugh that his politeness gave it away. I'm not surprised Sirius hadn't been dumped before. It's high time a girl turned the tables on him though.

Ugh, so, I get that the fake-dating will eventually get them together but I wish it didn't seem like Millie were just being strong-armed into pretending him. It just seems a bit coersive. :( Though, I do like the idea of them being pushed together. :D

-Rose

Author's Response: Remus really needs to get his game together. He can't actually be that dense - he must just purposefully not respond.

I reckon the Marauders should be getting an award for figuring out how to make it rain inside, not dentention. And obviously Dumbledore knows who did it! Dumbledore knows (almost) all!

Sirius probably always is, but I guess he's often well behaved enough not to mention it - he must know it doesn't increase his chances. And stores are for muggles.

Millie has her moments. There are other times where she's completely oblivious, and I, as the author, am like, REALLY?

The fake dating is a weird experience for the both of them - the truth is, they don't really do it that well, which makes for an interesting dynamic. And I also liked the thought of them being pushed together - fake dating seemed like something Sirius would come up with.

Thanks for the wonderful review!


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Review #40, by ladyrae Gone, Gone, Gone

24th November 2013:
Favorite chapter by far (and I just marathoned the entire story). More Regulus too!!

Author's Response: OMG 35 CHAPTERS ALL AT ONCE IS NO JOKE YOU DESERVE AN AWARD. I'm glad you enjoyed this one! It was a lot of fun to write!

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Review #41, by Courtney Dark Goodnight Darling

22nd November 2013:
NO??? WHY WAS THIS CHAPTER SO SHORT? *Sobs dramatically into my pillow* Not that there is a pillow anywhere in the vicinity but THAT'S OKAY!

Hehe, Millie sounds just like I do in the middle of the night or when I'm rudely awaken at a preposterous hour in the morning. I walk around with mushed hair and bleary eyes, just grunted when anyone asks me a question.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more, but right now I really should be studying for History (sobs dramatically again) as I unfortunately have an exam tomorrow. Sigh.

TTFN!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING READING FANFICTION?!?! GO STUDY FOR THAT EXAM!!!

Millie would sound like me if I ever managed to wake up in the middle of the night - I'm a pretty heavy sleeper.

I now realise that it has been a few days since this review was posted, so I hope your exam went well :)


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Review #42, by Courtney Dark Insane Before Christmas

22nd November 2013:
Okay, I couldn't resist coming back to read another chapter. This story is so addicting! You really have this knack with humour and addictiveness and just MAKING ME WANT TO KEEP READING? How do you do it? I mean, the way you write is so simply clear and perfect, and nothing gets muddled in your head, and there's no stupid pointless plot lines and characters who seem completely ridiculous and it has this more factor and...

I'm beginning to sound like a waffling, broken record. Scratch beginning. I DO sound like a waffling broken record. Not that I really know what one of those sounds like, but...

I need to learn when to shut up.

Anyway, this was a great chapter, and I'm moving on to the next one! I'm sorry to say you'll be hearing a lot more from me, and I can guarantee most of it won't make sense.

Courtney:)

Author's Response: I don't know how I keep you coming back. I'm glad that I do, because you're always so nice to me, but I don't know how ;)

I don't mind if you don't make sense (you make perfect sense, by the way). Sometimes this story doesn't make much sense either. It really needs an edit...


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Review #43, by Courtney Dark Rain, Rumours and Plans

22nd November 2013:
Hey there!

Ugh, it's been such a long time since I've read this story and I have no idea why, because it's just so good and makes me want to read more! I really, reay enjoyed this chapter, and I love the way you are developing Millie's character. She's funny but non in an over-the-top way - in a way that actually makes me believe she is a real person, who happens to attend a school for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I'm surprised Dumbledore was so angry about that rain prank, because that was actually really clever magic! I definitely think people tend to underestimate how smart the marauders actually are. Although I guess what with Voldemort out and about, tension in the castle is heightened.

My favourite scene in this chapter definitely had to be the kitchen scene. Firstly, because I absolutely love chocolate ice cream and the idea of sitting in the middle of the Hogwarts kitchen eating a tub of it sounds amazing, and secondly because you wrote Millie and Sirius's conversation so well! And I just love the fact that their last names are Black and White.

Anyway, I wonder if Millie will agree to this fake dating thing? In my experience, fake dates/girlfriend boyfriend stuff always turns out...interestingly, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens!

This chapter was a lot of fun to read, I will definitely be back!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello!

It took me a really long while to get a handle on Millie's character. I'm glad she comes across as believable because there are moments where I wonder if a real person would do things like that.

Dumbledore isn't that angry - he just knows how to push their buttons. And water is really annoying to clean up. Perhaps he just gave a warning that was strong to make up for a milder punishment.

If you like the kitchen scene, then you'll be happy to know that there are a couple more later on in the chapter. It's a real special place for the two of them ;) I'm happy that you like the conversation - reading over it all this time later, I find so many things to improve!

And what do YOU think she'll do? There are interesting consequences...

Thanks for dropping by!


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Review #44, by Avid Gone, Gone, Gone

21st November 2013:
Ugh I love this story. I've been off HPFF for ages but this has definitely brightened my bad morning. Haha! Thanks for the greatly loved update!

Author's Response: I feel awfully flattered that this helped you out! I now wish it were a little less depressing in content :)

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Review #45, by laura Gone, Gone, Gone

15th November 2013:
I love this story! you are seriously a talented writer ! whens the next chapter coming out? soon i hope !

Author's Response: Thanks so much! The next chapter shall come out in the near future I hope :)

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Review #46, by APerkins Love the Smell of Blueberries

12th November 2013:
Last review for the night!
I actually kinda like getting in Sirius's head. You started it so well and so I was kinda left disappointed when the last couple of chapters he was absent. Not that I am disappointed of course. This is great.
still it was nice to hear from him again.
Also, great that the girls have a pillow fight! loving it!

I also love the contrast between James' date and Sirius'. I ALSO (I have to put more effort into my reviews. I cannot keep also-ing you) like that Sirius isnt the type to spill his guts to his mates. And that they didnt push it or rib him too hard. respect to them all.

Ok so the tickling thing was fun, cheesy, romantic, teasing fun. Personally, (and here come my prejudices) I am not convinced we needed quite as much analysis from the bystanders as we had - but thats mainly because I hate romance and get squeamish any time things even hint towards cheesy. It wasnt too cheesy, I jsut overreact and you should probably jsut stop listening to me now, Im goign to take a deep breath and move on.
Moving on:
You do the inner dialogue for Sirius really well - he is talking away to himself and it is a heap of fun! Those first two paragraphs when they were alone in the common room together were great! that sutff is my favourite part about sirius. he mocks himself while trying to be cools and .. yeah, its great.


anyway, Really like it but I really have to go sleep :) see you next time!

Author's Response: Hello for the last time today!

I love Sirius' headspace. It's really different from Millie's and a lot more normal than Ellie's from Not Normal, so it's just wonderful to be there. And pillow fights are one of those cliches one has to include, no?

I also everyone all the time. "Furthermore" can sound a little stuffy sometimes :P And I just don't think it's Siriu' MO to be all open with his feelings, and they're good friends for respecting that part of him.

I agree with you on the commentary from bystanders - I remember that as I wrote it, it felt really contrived and awkward. It's one of the many things that I will definitely have to rework. I do love this scene though, because it shows a different sort of awkward between them which is really fun.

I think Sirius is rather self-aware without being aware that he is self-aware. His jokes inside his head are very depricating of himself, just like his jokes when he actually speaks are very depricating of others. It's just a part of him that he doesn't express well.

Thanks so much for the reviews! Your critiques were much appreciated :D


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Review #47, by APerkins Things You Really Don't Want to Know

12th November 2013:
Hey again, Ive been missing hearing from Sirius actually. I quite like the discussion with Lily and millie - oh that rhymes - at the beginning of the chapter though. That is so typical and teenagerish and .. well.. real.
yes, real, your dialogue is great.
I think it could have been improved by a little bit of an explanation as to why Millie felt the nedd to escape through a toilet window - it would just need a half sentence attached to a dialogue tag after Sirius's comment about being a third wheel. Or, if you are more comfortable with dialogue as opposed to description, Millie agreeing along the lines of "Yeah, those two did kinda get.." and what ever it was they were doing.

Anyway, I guess the story isnt really about James and Lily, but it could be. You have done enough with their characters that you could completely justify explaining why the double date got ditched!

I do think you did the date well. Its not romance, its awkward, bickering, heading towards romance, but not there yet, keeping us nice and interested.


I am not a brit. so I guess there is some significance to coffee not being found at all tea stores? I kinda assumed that a Tea shop sold tea and coffee and light meals and snacks.. maybe in the UK they actually jsut sell tea? Wow. my universe is twisting on its side. A tea shop that sells tea.
ahem.
anyway, I am loving the slow pace of the romance, because lets face it. I hate romance. I do. I really do.
Im finding it more and more difficult to jsutify that when I read stuff like this though.

thankyou!

Author's Response: I wasn't sure how well-received the opening would be. It's a little different to what I've written before this, but I'm happy that it comes across as believable :)

Thanks so much for your suggestions! The fact that you're taking the time to read and review these chapters means so much to me, especially as I come closer to finishing this story, and then beginning the long and painful road to editing it. And I think initially I did have plans to have some James/Lily in here, but they got swallowed somehow - I shall keep that in mind for editing purposes!

I'm wondering if I take things a little slow with them, but I didn't want things to be like, "oh they're on a date now so they must get along". Dates can be awkward things. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I too am not a Brit, so I'm not sure if tea shops only sell tea. They must sell other hot beverages - perhaps they don't make good coffee?

I'm really impressed that you've come so far with this story even with your aversion for romance. That's so impressive!


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Review #48, by APerkins Quidditch Alliances

12th November 2013:
Hahaha.. Dumbledore secret Gryffie fan. I have this horrid feeling of Deja vu like I had already read and reviewed this chapter, but ahh well, here goes (again?? maybe in a different reality!)

Firstly.
Love the intro paragraph, with the times and a short description of what Millie is doing. It is an awesome technique for building tension - it kinda makes the reader anxious and nervous too. Really well used there, so well done.

I love that the entire way through the story, Millie has ridiculous eating habits. I really do. I love how seriously she takes eating icecream, and how much she eats when she is nervous, and drinks far too much caffeine. It is great for building a believable character and ..you know what I mean. It makes her human, and likeable and .. real somehow.

the quidditch gaqme was a heap of fun, loved reading it. I think you have contracted 'Lily has' to 'Lily's' - which might be how you would say it when speaking with your mates really quickly, but as it is Millies thoughts and not her speech, it probably should be written out as it isn't an actual contraction!

The sentence " I hadn't been seeker on the best team Hogwarts had seen for nearly three decades" doesnt sit right with me.. I know what you are trying to say, but it just sounds like she has been on the team for nearly three decades. Making it "I hadn't been seeker for three years on the best team Hogwarts had seen in nearly three decades " might improve things, but then it becomes an ugly sentence and ruins your otherwise beautiful prose.

I love the way Lily is asking for help re James, and that James and Millie are such good friends that he is able talk about it with her. I wasnt quite sure why Millie was asking about when the weekend was, but am glad she did, cause I am glad she wants to stop the charade.. good for her! And good for Sirius for wheedling another weekend out of her. I have to say, I think he actually likes her already. Why else would he be so whiny!

i love this story. I may have mentioned that already

Author's Response: I don't think there is anything secretive about Dumbledore's love for his own house :P

I'm glad you like the first paragraph. It feels weird for me to write time jumps, but I have to show the passage of time somehow.

Millie has the weirdest eating habits of any person ever. I've always thought of her as a bit of grazer, who has to eat little amounts of food more often throughout the day, rather than three solid meals - but her obsession for eating her feelings in the form of ice cream wows me.

I don't write action scenes well, and this was my first shot at it, so I'm so happy that you think it went well. There are so many typos throughout this story - I really must fix those, at least. Thanks for pointing that one out.

And yes - rereading that sentence, it does sound strange. Your suggestion is fantastic! I have saved it in my drafts for future editing fun times!

I wanted to show that James and Millie are close. James isn't a bad bloke - he's just a little fixated with his affections sometimes! And Sirius totally likes her already. There is no other explanation for his weird behaviour.


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Review #49, by APerkins Sleeping After Lunch

12th November 2013:
Hey there, its been a while since Ive been here, so I am coming back to visit!
I lvoe your characterisation of Sirius. Have I said that once before. He is just arrogant enough to be sirius, and funny enough to get away with it while still being adorable.
I liked that Sarah and Lily were not all for the relationship, and i think the way you have done htis is great. Its a heap of fun.

I dont understand why the last paragraph is there though - the final thought in Millies observation - it could probably be tacked somewhere else, or left out entirely because it doesnt really add any thing to the chapter.

Havind said that, I like Millie a lot, and I really realyl admire her ability to sleep and answer questions like that IN CLASS!

lol
see you at the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hello! How nice of you to drop in!

Sirius is so much fun to write. He is so wonderfully arrogant and adorable at the same time.

Even though Sarah and Lily joked about them being together during the train ride, yeah. They aren't all for it.

Thank you for pointing that out - I shall have a look at it and see what I can do.

And yes, so jealous of Millie's mad skill


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Review #50, by Rumpelstiltskin Gone, Gone, Gone

7th November 2013:
I was so excited to see that you had updated.

I really enjoyed the time change sequence in this. It had an action-y effect on the chapter!

Awwee!! He loves her! :) Well, of course he does...but hooray anyways!

This was a very fun chapter!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you! I'm terrible with action, but the time change labels were my way of trying my hand at it. I'm glad they worked well! And yes, he FINALLY admits it. *has party for one of her main character's growth* You have no idea how long I've waited for this momennt! Thanks for dropping in! :)

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