Reading Reviews for Like a House on Fire
449 Reviews Found

Review #26, by Maelody A First Time for Everything

20th January 2015:
Oh I do love a good Sirius/OC story! Now I'm all excited! :D

So Millie, eh? That's gonna be awkward cause once upon a time ago I wrote a fic about Peter being in love with a girl named Millie. Sirius has gone off and stolen his girlfriend! No wonder Peter threw him under the bus ;).

Siriusly though (did that joke get old yet? No? OK) I'm excited to read this! It's been on m 'read list' for forever now!

I love how James' biggest concern is making sure Millie's head will be in a game that is well over six weeks away. And Sirius doesn't even deny liking her. This'll be a fun last year.

Oh goodness. Lily wants to try and buy Batman? That's hilarious! Not to mention she wants to buy her best friend the world. I love that that's already really prevalent in this first chapter. It sets up a bond between the two girls like James and Sirius. That's a great start.

Favorite line of the chapter: Hogwarts seemed to have a sunlight allergy.

Moving onward!


Author's Response: Sirius/OC stories are my second fanfic love. Obviously, my first fanfic would be one of those. I'm glad that there are people who still enjoy reading them. They were huge when I first started reading fanfiction.

:O What are the odds? Her full name isn't Millie. Does that help? Probably not since she doesn't use her full name. She's Millie in my head. And I'd throw Sirius under the bus for that too!

THAT JOKE NEVER GETS OLD. EVER. It makes me excited that you're so excited to read this.

James is very goal orientated, I think. It's all about Quidditch with James and Millie at the beginning because that's the foundation of their relationship.

Lily can buy ME Batman. Please do, Lily. She's a great friend, although she comes off as a little abrasive in this story.

Hogwarts has a sunlight allergy, right?

See you soon :)

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Review #27, by missatron Insane Before Christmas

20th January 2015:
Review tag!

Ahh! I'm really glad to be back, reading Like a House on Fire. While I've been away, I have been forgetting how good it is! The plot really has begun to develop in this chapter, what with the whole fake girlfriend/fake dating buisness. I'm also starting to despise Marsissa - I bet Sirius will probably hear the rumours right away!

Oh gosh, Rex really is annoying too. He makes me so angry. I guess your writing is just too real! (That's a good thing)

I just love how oblivious Millie is. Like the bit where she was confused about Sirius saying his first name out loud, then he had to explain to her that people who like eachother usually call eachother by their first names. I think Sirius has other motives rather than "pretending" to date Millie. I think he wants it for real. I guess that soon, Millie may come to waste it, but at the moment, I really can't imagine that.

The whole "fake dating" thing seems odd, but believe able. I'm wondering whether the "fake dating" will progress onwards into a real relationship, or whether the real relationship will start elsewhere.

As always, I loved this!


Author's Response: Hahaha! That's a similar feeling I got when I was writing this story. Every time I returned to this story, I remembered how much I enjoyed it. I think some of that feeling seeps into the writing perhaps. And yes - this is the chapter where STUFF ACTUALLY HAPPENS. Marissa is not a nice person, that is very true.

Rex is incredibly creepy. I've seen Sirius being written in a similar way, and it's been glorified, so with Rex I wanted to highlight that it's not a nice way to treat people AT ALL. It's a good thing you're angry!

Millie can be so oblivious sometimes. She does it on purpose in part, I think. She gets away with a lot this way. And Sirius only ever having one motive for something? Never! ;)

I'm glad that the fake dating premise seems believable!! When I thought it up, I knew that it required quite the suspension of disbelief but I still decided to roll with it.

Thanks for reading!

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Review #28, by Sydney Chocolate Frogs

15th January 2015:
Okay so my hate for you has lessened somewhat. Sirius and Milly look like they may start to date again. If you do anything to Spoil they're relationship again I will hunt you down and kill you. I swear.
Though as hard as it is for me to admit it. You are an amazing writer. :)

Author's Response: Only a couple of chapters to go until the end! Things are wrapping up! And I couldn't bear to leave my poor darlings in agony forever. Every relationship has its ups and downs. It just took these two a really long time to realise that they even were in a relationship in the first place... And thank you so much! That means a lot ♥

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Review #29, by Sydney Of Hearts and Bludgers

15th January 2015:
How could you do this to me.
NO! Whyy??? Dont you have a heart. Dont you know how much it hurts. God!!! How could you??? Sirius and Milly are a match made in heaven! How could you.
OMG how could you?

Author's Response: They had it coming? That is the only thing I can offer in my defence. It was smooth sailing for too long, especially since they never quite have a serious discussion about their relationship and kinda just avoid the subject. But it gets better, I promise! More adorable Sirius to come (he has some of his best moments after this point)!

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Review #30, by Sydney Valentine's Day

15th January 2015:
Okay so now you are actually killing me. How could you post such a chapter without a warning. I mean i swear i jumped up with joy at the valentine thing. God you are an amazing writer.
AND SIRIUS IS JUST SO DAMN CUTE! Please tell me I'm right because I could not live if someone told me that he isn't absolutely completely adorable!!!

Author's Response: ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS. MUHAHAHA. But yeah, this was again one of my favourite chapters to write, mainly because Sirius is just too much fun to write when he's head over heels in love. And you're not alone! I think everyone who gets to this point in the story agrees that he's adorable and cute and perfect.

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Review #31, by Sydney Christmas Morning

15th January 2015:
OhMyGod!! Sirius and Millie at last. OhMyGod.
They are perfect together.
God I love you. This is like the best chapter! God Sirius is just too cute and hot and . I swear I can go on all day.
Please tell me there are going to be more chapters like this.
As much as I hate to admit it... I am a girl and these fluff scenes are just too DAMN cute.

Author's Response: I think this is the point in the story where all the readers are like FINALLY YES THEY'RE TOGETHER. And Millie and Sirius are like "so... are we officially together now? Nah, probs not." Causes a lot of problems. But yes, this was a SUPER fluffy chapter. There are a couple before I do the thing that no one liked...

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Review #32, by Sydney The Time of Your Life

15th January 2015:
So I guess I'm starting to review regularly now.
This chapter is wonderful. Sirius/Millie finally happened... kind of. They really make a wonderful couple.
God Sirius is so DAMN adorable. I love him so much.
Any way this is an amazing chapter.

Author's Response: That's so sweet of you! I actually woke up to seven new reviews and I was like wha...? So this was a lovely surprise! Yes! Millie and Sirius FINALLY happen... kind of. But nothing's ever simple for them, is it?

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Review #33, by Sydney Bleak House

15th January 2015:
Sirius is ADORABLE! Love him more than anyone!
Hahaha... Anyways love this chapter :)

Author's Response: Sirius is incredibly adorable. After about this point on, his adorableness knows no bounds. He's just too loveable ;)

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Review #34, by Sydney Early Mornings, Breakfasts, Dresses and Hometowns

15th January 2015:
Wonderful... Absolutely completely wonderful.
God I ship Sirius/Millie so much. Anyways love this chapter.
Love you.

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you so much! This was a super fun chapter to write, and it's kind of where things really start to pick up in their relationship. Thanks for reading :)

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Review #35, by missatron Rain, Rumours and Plans

14th January 2015:
Hey! It's me again, from the review tag! I'm really enjoying reading Like a House on Fire. It really is good.

Saying that, I do get frustrated by some of your characters. In a good way, of course. You've got to be talented to make me get frustrated with your writing!

I really do like Millie though. I like how you have started to slowly devolp her character further. At first she seemed extremely shy, but she seems to have broken out of her she'll slightly now, and is funny. She can also be sarcastic and snappy which is good too. It's good that she isn't too much of a goody-goody two shoes. This makes things seem a lot more realistic.

I was rather shocked that Dumbledore got mad at the whole raining roof/trick thing. I thought that it was actually quite clever, really. Though, I would do, being a Muggle. Also, what with Voldemort being around, everything needs to be just that little bit tighter, doesn't it?

I loved the ice cream scene. It was very well writte, great job. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hello! *waves* I'm very pleased to hear that you're still enjoying the story.

As long as the frustration is the good kind, I guess that's cool? Unless it's a hallmark of bad writing (which it may be)

Ah, I'm glad you like Millie. I REALLY didn't want her to be a Mary Sue, and there were times when there was a danger of that happening. I wanted to show that she knows how to deal with her shyness and doesn't let it impede her daily life too much. And often shy people are these fantastically sharp and witty people, so I wanted some of that to come through as well.

Dumbledore's reaction is super over-the-top. I have to tone it back a little. There are less extreme ways to get the same result, Dumbledore! It's a little too dramatic even for his tastes.

Ah, I'm happy you liked the ice cream scene. It remains one of my favourite scenes from this story. It was a lot of fun to write.

Thanks for the lovely review, and I'll see you at the next chapter :)

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Review #36, by missatron No Love Lost

14th January 2015:
Review tag!

Oh, things don't start of very well for Millie, do they? The chapter has a very abrupt start. I like how you've portrayed Millie's frustration and anger in this chapter - it's very good. I also like how Millie is standing up for herself, rather than letting herself be pushed round by Rex.

I like how she can draw too. Usually the talents written include Quidditch our academical talents, so I like what you have chosen. Something different.

There's a prank coming up? Ooh! I'm excited to read that. Pranks always seem to fun to read.

Sirius. I like how the others didn't know abou this Marsissa person and how Sirius wanted to point out that she wasn't there, just to make Millie jealous. At first, I found it strange that Remus suggested playing a prank, but then I realised that you were trying to portray them as still-young silly, careless boys.

There is a saying, opposites attract, but I think that Sirius and Millie are actually quite similar.

Still, great job on this chapter. I'm looking forward to reading more.


Author's Response: Heya! Lovely to hear from you again! It's so nice that you're slowly reviewing your way through this behemoth of a story. Thank you ♥

No, things don't start out very well for Millie at all! Rex is annoying, and as we shall see in a couple of chapters - a little creepy.

And poor Sirius. He has zero luck with women this year! Sirius early on in the story is just too casual and brief with his relationships for the Marauders to keep up. And I'm under the impression that Remus was the mastermind behind many of their pranks. He's a smart dude, and I can imagine that there were times when he wouldn't mind the distraction that pranks would provide.

Yes! Millie and Sirius are very similar! I'm incredibly pleased that it came across so early on in the story. The idea is that at first, it seems like opposites attract, but in their case it's the fact that they're similar in all the wrong ways. It causes quite a few issues for them!

Thanks for the lovely review :)

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Review #37, by Santa!! Things You Really Don't Want to Know

7th January 2015:
Well, I suppose Sirius and Millie can only get along civilly for a short amount of time... I guess it was nice while it lasted!

Lily is so freaked out, it's so cute. The whole "what do I wear" dilemma- well, that's a classic. I have to wonder what happened at the date though- Millie and Sirius seemed rather desperate to get out of there! I liked their little date after that though. The conversation was sweet- well, for a time at least. Millie isn't good at keeping pleasant conversation, now is she? She finally realized that her and Sirius actually have things in common! Yay!!

I liked the chapter! Millie and Sirius having civil contact =A++. I love your characters! They are awesome, everything about them.

You'll be finding who I am soon! You've been a wonderful person to be a Secret Santa to.


Author's Response: They have a lot of bumps in the road, unfortunately. It's amazing that they managed to stay civil as long as they did. But Millie just couldn't let things slide - that aspect of her where she's bad at relationships rears its ugly head!

And OMG I LOVED writing Lily here! She's been so collected so far, if not precisely calm, and just writing her losing it for a bit was great.

Thank you so much for being such an awesome secret Santa! I've loved receiving these reviews, as well as replying to them - despite how late the replies have been. ♥

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Review #38, by Santa! Quidditch Alliances

6th January 2015:
Oh yay! Lily and James, Lily and James! I really wasn't expecting that so soon! Lily still seems kind of bitter towards the Marauders, though perhaps that's just Sirius. But yeah, double date!

This is going to be interesting for Millie and Sirius. How are they going to deal with an actual date, with other people! They (well, Millie more so) aren't very good at keeping up this charade (especially considering she didn't even think about the fact that they would be going to Hogsmeade together!) Is their secret going to get out? I really hope that Millie can make it through this date- I want her to start seeing Sirius in a better light! He likes her- and he was really sweet when he was concerned for her after she fell. Lily on the other hand- she definitely had the motherly instincts prepared, didn't she? She's certainly the overbearing best friend!

I liked this chapter! It was good, I liked the back and forth between Millie, Lily, and James with the whole date thing. It was cute. I can't even say how much I like your writing style, and the way you wrote these characters. It just all fits so well and it flows! I love it, and the entire plot of this story is great!


Author's Response: I think I originally had more planned for Lily and James, but I really wanted it to be happening in the background. Maybe their relationship is too much in the background, though. The idea was that they were this stable rock, whereas Millie and Sirius' relationship is a bit of a roller coaster in comparison. And by this point, I really think she just doesn't like Sirius.

Haha, Millie and Sirius having to pretend to get along! It's a lot of fun, for sure. Sirius chose a little poorly in that respect, picking someone who is just so terrible at knowing how to act. I love writing Sirius and Lily together. They have the same goals, especiially when it comes to Millie, and as the story progresses, their methods start to align as well. And it takes a few more chapters for Millie to start seeing Sirius in a better light, unfortunately :(

I'm actually blushing at your lovely compliments! I'm so incredibly flattered! Thank you so much!

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Review #39, by Santa! Sleeping After Lunch

6th January 2015:
Aha! I knew Lily wouldn't be pleased! And obviously James is! They reacted pretty well I think, though I'd think James might have a bit more of a reaction for how Sirius convinced Millie (though he did try to get that answer) considering he was very sure that Millie wasn't one to fall prey to Sirius' charms.

The classroom scene was good. Millie is hilarious, the fact that she could answer the professor perfectly and fall back asleep- I wish I could do that! Sirius' thoughts about her were so cute, I just can't. I love him (I hold a firm belief that he was simply playing hide and seek in the curtain! Pshh, he didn't die!) I want Millie to see how sweet he can be! I'm totally with Sirius on this one, the whole defensive thing with him- though I see where she's coming from- is super annoying. Why can't she just love him and be happy!

It was a little confusing without the labeled POV's here, since you have them in the earlier chapters (are you going back and putting them in? Ignore me if you are haha!) But this was a pretty good chapter overall- I wish they were longer! Great job :)


Author's Response: Lily isn't pleased with any changes, I think! And James is just like aw yis! More time with Lily! Teach me your ways, Sirius!

I want Millie's superpower. If there is one superpower that I could have, that would probably be it, I think. It's just such a versatile skill to have! And yeah, Millie can be funny in her own way, although I don't think she often means to be. AND OF COURSE HE DIDNT DIE. SIRIUS CANT DIE. And it's a little too early for love, no? But I know where this is going, so perhaps not...

I REALLY need to go back and label the changes in points of view. I know it can get quite confusing at times, especially since there are a couple of chapters where it changes like every paragraph. And the chapters do get longer! I promise!

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Review #40, by Santa! Goodnight Darling

6th January 2015:
Aww, poor Millie! James really is a Quidditch drill sergeant, isn't he? Doing homework past midnight- she's not going to have a good morning. specially once the talking begins!

Sirius was actually kind of sweet in this chapter! I like the whole 'mind reading' thing going on here- it seems to be a bit of a pattern in this story. I like it, it shows that the two of them may be better matched than they thought (or Millie thinks at least!) The interaction between them is good in this chapter (I say that a lot, but I really like how you write their conversations!) I like Sirius' characterization here, it shows he can be responsible and rather caring. If Millie wasn't half-asleep, she'd probably realize that!

This was a rather short chapter, but it was really good! I liked it :)


Author's Response: James is a horrible person when it comes to Quidditch, in my opinion, but there's a reason why Gryffindor has the best Quidditch team in the entire school. Doing anything op at midnight is just too much for me, especially if it's school related.

Sirius is just adorable. I love reading people's opinions of him from the beginning, and then around this point is when the opinions start to change. It's just great to see people fall in love with Sirius as much as I did over the course of writing this story. It means a lot to me. Thanks so much for reading :)

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Review #41, by Santa! Insane Before Christmas

6th January 2015:
Ooh, ooh yay! THE FAKE DATING BEGINS! (I really do think I like these types of stories a bit too much). I suppose there was a bit of a reason for Millie to agree to this plan, wasn't there? Getting someone like Rex away from her- I'd do it! Rex seems quite creepy.

I wonder how long it will take for the rumor of the two of them dating to get spread around Hogwarts- not very long, I'm guessing. I'm dreading Lily's reaction a little bit- she seems very confrontational towards the Marauders- I doubt she'll take her best friend 'dating' one very well. Though it might get her to spend a little more time with James...

Well, it didn't take long for Marissa's rumors to start flying, did it? That's a really good rumor to start though! Great idea, and the fact that Sirius is so worried about his reputation is very fitting for his character. Though, that's probably not the only reason he decided to try this plan!

This was a good chapter, yay for more plot progression! I'm glad they're 'dating' now, I like seeing interaction between Sirius and Millie! You write both of their characters so well, and I can't wait to see how their future interactions, and the whole fake dating thing, works out!


Author's Response: YES! The fake dating begins! And it's off to a less than stellar start for sure! And Rex is WAY creepy.

I am under the impression that Hogwarts students have nothing better to do than gossip and do homework, and I don't think anyone likes doing homework, even if it is magic homework. So yeah, the rumours shouldn't take too long to get around the school.

Oh, Sirius is a man of mystery! He never does something for just one reason! It's not a coincidence that he chose Millie of all people to convince to be his fake girlfriend...

Sirius and Millie are a lot of fun to write together. I'm so pleased that you're still enjoying the story! Thanks for reviewing :)

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Review #42, by Santa! Rain, Rumours and Plans

6th January 2015:
Ooh, getting to the plot here, aren't we? This was a really interesting chapter! I liked the interaction between Sirius and Millie in the kitchens. The entire conversation was great, and they way they talked to each other was great.

The prank- making it rain was hilarious. And I guess Sirius rather enjoyed it too, didn't he? I do think Dumbledore's reaction was a bit exaggerated though, he usually seems to enjoy pranks as long as they don't put anyone in actual harm's way. But the prank was really good, an the way he got the Marauder's to confess was perfect- there's no way James would allow Quidditch to be cancelled!

The scene in the kitchen was perfect. I loved the interaction between the two of them, it was lovely to read. And the reasoning behind Marissa's breakup! I did not expect that- I figured Marissa was just a name-drop in the previous chapter that might come up again later. I didn't think she'd be this important to the plot! Speaking of which, this plot is great- fake dating! I love these types of stories, it's one of my guilty pleasures I think. I can't wait to see where this leads.

Yay for Sirius for realizing he actually has a crush on Millie as well! And I like that "two kinds of evil people in the world"- it reminded me of a line from Mean Girls. Now I'm just imagining Sirius sitting back and quoting Mean Girls, which is a rather strange image to have.

Anyway, great chapter! Yay for plot progressions and Sirius/Millie interactions! (What's their ship name? Sillie? Mirius?)


Author's Response: Yes! Finally! It is time for the plot to rear it's much missed head! Woohoo!

Dumbledore's reaction really is a little overblown. It's something that I have to tone down, although if there's something that'll make the Marauders come forward, it's the threat of cancelling Quidditch, although there can't be much doubt as to who pulled the prank!

Marissa is somewhere between a name drop and an actual plot point, I think. She comes back sporadically in the fic, wreaking havoc in her wake. Haha, fake dating stories are a guilty pleasure for me as well! I'm so pleased to have found someone else who is just as into them as I am!

That two kinds of evil line may have been an accidental reference to a Mean Girls! It's such a great film, with so many great quotes that a few are bound to sneak in :P And Sirius is definitely the type to quote Mean Girls!

Thanks for the lovely review! And I believe the ship name is Sillie - it seems to be the most popular because of how ridiculous it sounds :P

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Review #43, by Santa! No Love Lost

5th January 2015:
Hello again!

Uh-oh, things aren't going well for Millie, are they? Poor Millie. Rex should learn to get a hint! Was the blasting him across the room hint enough, or does that just mean *try harder*? Good for Millie though, not taking any of his crap!

Well, Millie seems to be popular with the boys, now doesn't she? Works well with the whole *can't stay in a lasting relationship* if she doesn't even remember which guys was the last one. (Meeting his parents though...awkward!)

Poor Sirius? I don't think he's used to getting dumped. He's getting a bit testy with Remus there- a bit bitter from that breakup? Hopefully he tries to give a little bit more effort into this Millie thing- she isn't one to fall into lap without him moving a muscle!

I liked this chapter! It was interesting to see a bit of Millie's background, with a glimpse at her dating history. Great job! The lack of labeled POV changes confused me for a minute, but I got it after a moment. Great job!


Author's Response: Hiya! Your commitment to this story is AMAZING, by the way! I'm very pleasantly surprised by it :)

Rex really needs to learn to listen. How can someone be so incredibly dense as Rex? But that's what plot points require I guess...

Like I've said before, I wanted Millie to be bad with relationships - like Sirius, and in a similar fashion. I've written her as shy, and it just doesn't fit that Sirius would want to be with someone who was shy ALL THE TIME. So I gave her this terrible way with relationships. Also it causes a lot of issues later on as well, so bonus!

I don't think Sirius Black has ever been dumped! Should be fun - for us, at least ;)

Yeah, I forgot to label the points of view changes for a few chapters in the middle there. It's something I definitely have to go back and fix! Thanks for the lovely review!

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Review #44, by Santa! The Deeper Things in Life

5th January 2015:

Well, this is unfortunate for Millie, now isn't it? I know I always hate to be in a group or partnership where the other person has no idea what to do! Though I can't say the other person has ever been anyone quite like Sirius Black! Really though, what is she thinking? You don't offer to do all of the work! (okay I've done that too I suppose..)

Hmm, interesting that Millie isn't the best with relationships either. Maybe her and Sirius are well suited for each other! The whole name thing works out great too... Black and White.

Remus and Sirius' interactions are great, especially when they're talking about Millie. Remus is so smug about being right! Though I have a feeling that is just going to make Sirius more determined to get the girl.

There's really no good way to end this story, is there? I'm already frightened as to what will happen- there's the issue with Marauder's Era stories, they all end in tragedy! Though whatever you ended up doing, I'm sure it will be great :D

Great chapter! I really liked seeing Millie and Sirius interact more, even if it wasn't the most pleasant of interactions. Plus, now I'm even more curious as to what happened over the summer. What happened to her parents?


Author's Response: It really is a bit sad for Millie. Here she is, trying to avoid Sirius like he has the plague, and here he is, popping up in all the aspects of her life. How incredibly infuriating! I definitely am the type to offer to do all the work, just for the sake of a grade, so I feel where Millie is coming from, even though it's the wrong thing to do. How will Sirius ever learn?

I wanted to make Millie and Sirius more similar than they realise, but in almost all the wrong ways. Somehow, it's supposed to work out for them, although they're supposed to be written in a way that suggests fate probably had other ideas for them, unlike James and Lily, who are basically perfect for each other.

Remus is great. I love Remus. He makes the perfect sassy best friend. It's awesome.

The story IS over, and since you've read some of my other stuff, I think it's not a spoiler to say that I can't NOT write a happy ending. So there's hope yet!

Thanks for reading and reviewing :)

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Review #45, by Santa! Have You Even Talked to Her?

4th January 2015:
Hello again!

Oh poor Lily, having to work with *James Potter* for the year. How horrible! (aside from the fact that she's going to fall head over heels in love with him and all. That might make things better) She's so stubborn! I guess Harry had to get it from somewhere, I can definitely see the similarities between the two of them.

Now is Millie quite sure she'll never go out witht he "arrogant prat"? (I have to say, that does change what I said in my review of the last chapter about the love/hate relationship. But at least they can be civil so far, so I'm sticking to it!) I'm not so sure she'll be able to stand by that statement forever.

Remus and Millie have a nice relationship, it's nice to see her bonding with one of the Marauders. Obviously they both like to read (I wonder what series they're both reading?) and they seem to get along rather well. Sarah and Remus however...well I feel bad for her, that's not going to end well no matter which direction it goes. Then again, anything to do with the Marauders end badly, doesn't it?

Anyway, great chapter! It was a good chapter for the introductions to new characters and showing the relationships between everybody. Yay! I have to say though... Sirius has a plan? That is a bit frightening...


Author's Response: Haha, poor Lily indeed! I wouldn't actually mind working with James since he's quite intelligent, and I can imagine that he's able to pull his own weight in class. I guess Lily doesn't see it that way, though!

Oh, it'll take some time for Millie! Sirius is good, but not THAT good. It's hard to change people's first impressions of you, even though first impressions are more often wrong than right.

I loved writing Remus in this story! He's just a great all-round friend, even though he can be a bit blind to the romance that is thrown his way. Sarah has a tough time of it :(

Sirius' plans and just how worrying they are a bit of a theme in this story, for sure! Thanks for the lovely review, as always :)

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Review #46, by Santa! A First Time for Everything

4th January 2015:
Hello again! I'm back for another gift giving!

Okay, this story seems really cool. It's off to s good start. I really liked the beginning, it definitely gave an interesting start to the story. I'm interested!
I like the interactions between Lily and Millie. They seem to be really good friends (forgotten birthday aside) and I liked their conversations. I do agree with Millie though, ten o'clock is not a horrible time to be getting up! And I am not just saying that because I've been getting up at 11 or later since my break started... definitely not!

What I really like is that Millie doesn't hate James and Sirius (or visa versa). I read way too many Sirius/OC fics that have a hate/hate relationship or a love/hate relationship, and it gets rather redundant at times, especially with James and Lily with their relationship in the background. The fact that sh'es friend (or at least friendly) with them is a refreshing change! And ooh! Sirius is making eyes at her. James doesn't seem to approve of this! This is going to be interesting, I wonder if Millie will fall prey to his charms.

So, I'm intrigued. What happened to Millie over the summer? Why is she dreaming about blood? So many questions!

Great start to this story! I'm off to read more!

Author's Response: Hello Sara! I'm so happy that I know who you are now. I'm so sorry it took so long to answer your wonderful reviews :(

I'm glad you enjoyed it so far. It takes a bit for the plot to take off. This was my first fic, and the way the plot meanders kind of shows just how new to writing I was.

I'm pleased you liked Millie and Lily's relationship. I didn't want to go the route of making Lily perfect, but neither did I want to go the other way and make her this totally horrible person. Hopefully I struck a balance between the two with her.

Millie definitely doesn't hate James. And with Sirius... To be honest, she doesn't really know him. Much of her later animosity stems from her IDEA of Sirius more than anything else, but she starts to soften as she gets to know him better.

Okay, so this is another pitfall of this story: I don't really ever explain what happened to her parents. They were killed in a death eater attack over the summer, and Millie has recurring nightmares from that. That particular plot point definitely could have been developed far more...

Thanks for the lovely review :)

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Review #47, by Spyci What an Idiot

3rd January 2015:
Excuse me as I become a puddle of emotional instability.

This was great. You are great.

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

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Review #48, by missatron The Deeper Things in Life

26th December 2014:
Hey there, just stopping by from the review tag! I have been meaning to read and review chapter three of this for a few days now, so I'm glad that I've got the chance.

This story is actually quite lovely. I was going to say when I reviewed chapter two, but I think you have a very good writing style. I like how everything his clear and breezy, and there isn't much confusing. Simplicity is key. Especially since I'm not much of a romance person.

Though I really enjoyed this chapter. I was actually quite shocked to see that Sirius' and Mille's potions were partners. Saying that, I think it is good how you are dropping little hints throughout the chapters that Millie and Sirius will get together. It is good. It was quite strange that you said Sirius had neat handwriting. I haven't checked but I'm pretty sure that in the HP books, his hand writing was described as an "untidy scrawl" or something similar. I'm not certain on that one but I still wouldn't imagine Sirius with neat handwriting. I liked how Milllie seemed so angry with Sirius. Nice. Those two details were interesting. Millie definitely has an interesting character.

You have written the marauders scenes very well so far. I have looked forward to them an thoroughly enjoyed them. I'll just leave you with a thought - maybe try to include Peter a bit more. I know that everyone hates him for how he betrayed James but at the time, no body knew about that as it hadn't happened. Remember that they were friends, not enemies..

I was a little worried that Millie would turn out to be the saintly type - not what Sirius would fall for at all, and wondered how you were going to manage it. Gladly, I saw that you have given her some bad traits, so now I'm all happy.

Keep writing!


Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm always so surprised when people like this story from the beginning. To me, that's this story's weakest point, but I'm still so pleased that you are enjoying it. As this story is almost nothing but romance, I'm extra pleased that you are enjoying it!

One of the great things about writing a story like this is that everyone knows that Sirius and Millie are going to get together - except those two themselves. It's kind of fun to write two poor unsuspecting souls fall in love with each other. I'm happy you're not finding the story too heavy handed at this point! And I threw that thing about Sirius' handwriting in because I wanted something to be a little incongruous about him - sort of like a sneak peek that he has hidden depths yet to come.

Ugh. Poor Peter. I feel so bad about the way I've treated him in this novel. I think there was a time where I forgot that he even existed... Something that I must learn to remedy: don't forget the existence of minor characters.

Millie is definitely not a saint! She spends a lot of time angry at Sirius, so I think even if I wrote her practically perfect in every other way, she wouldn't come off as a saint. But I'm glad you find her to be flawed, which is good!

Thanks so much for the lovely review :)

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Review #49, by missatron Have You Even Talked to Her?

24th December 2014:
Hi! Swooping over from the review tag!

I really, really enjoyed reading this second chapter. I like hearing Millie's narrative voice, she (or you) is very consistent throughout the chapter. You have incorporated a lot of speech into this, which sometimes can be a good thing, but not always. Maybe you could have done a few more descriptions as I believed that it lacked in that area. I particularly liked this bit:

"Remus was standing sort of in the background, trying to look unobtrusive, which really wasnít that hard for him, but Pettigrew was doing a much better job of blending in. If anyone ever had to learn the art of blending in, Iíd recommend learning it from Peter Pettigrew, but I think he really didnít mean to."

I liked how you captured the two personalities very well in this, and the sentence even made me break into a smile. All your characters have great chemistry with each other - especially the Marauders and the girls. Each of your characters have a trait that you could recognise them by. (eg. Remus Lupin is quiet and clever and likes to study). I like how you have chosen each line of speech carefully though. Very good.

Shifting PoV throughout the chapter can sometimes be a little risky as the reader might end up being confused as to who is narrating the section. I must say, I think that you managed it very well. The bold made it stand out, though I think it would be more understandable if you did alternate chapters, changing PoV with each chapter if you know what I mean.

Saying that, the contrast between both Millie's and Sirius' perspective was very intriguing. I enjoyed Sirius' conversation with the other Marauders though we don't seem to be seeing much of James do we? Another thing I noticed was that Millie's second name is 'White' and Sirius' surname is 'Black'. This adds a lot to the plot as it almost convinces the reader that they are two opposites. Of course, I'm guessing, opposites attract.

I've never liked Peter but I think that you've written him excellently in this chapter. I look forward to reading future chapters.

Keep writing!

Author's Response: Hey, hey, hey! Nice of you to drop by!

Ah! I'm glad that the chapter reads consistently! I wrote these early chapters so long ago and my writing style was quite different too! I really appreciate your feedback however :) Descriptions remain to this day the bane of my existence, and these chapters DEFINITELY could do with more description!

I'm glad you like the two sentence descriptions of Remus and Peter. I am really sad to say that I sort shunt Peter off to the side, which is poor writing behaviour indeed.

The shifting points of view DO get a little out of hand later on in the story. You can really tell the naivety of the storytelling because of it, since I basically switched points of view every time I got stuck. Again, bad writing form, but I hope I improved as the story - and I - grew.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and feedback :)

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Review #50, by EnigmaticEyes16 What an Idiot

20th December 2014:
AH! Ugh, I can't even handle this! This was so cute and I was grinning the entire time I was reading the chapter. And I'm so happy you ended it the way you did with Millie finally realizing Sirius wasn't the only idiot in the relationship, lol. And I'm so happy she kissed him. And that there's a happy ending. I kinda want to restart from the beginning and just read the entire thing over again, and I just may (at some point). I just loved this entire story and congratulations on finishing it, it's such a big deal.

I'm so happy right now! lol.


Author's Response: EEE! It's finally finished! I'm so so so happy that you liked the ending! I was a little worried about rushing their resolution, since I'd been building their issues for so long, but I thought it was time. The chapter before this cemented Sirius' feelings and I didn't want to go in the whole "unrequited love" direction. And I REALLY wanted to give them a happy ending, so the story definitely needed to end whilst they were still at Hogwarts!

Thanks so much for all the loveliness you've bestowed upon this story! You read quite a lot of it in such a short amount of time (and even reviewed OMG HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT). *hugs*

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