Reading Reviews for The Fourth Daughter
  
73 Reviews Found

Review #26, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The Second Night

8th September 2013:
*Gasps* And now Salazar's here, too!?

I really, really hope he's not up to something sneaking, but something tells me otherwise...

This was another wonderful chapter, dear, and I thought you did a very good job with portraying the time in which this was written. The way you explained Dezzy being upset that her ankles were showing was very realistic... well done!

Author's Response: Yes, Salazar has come into the picture!
His character is very vague, which is one of my favorite things about writing him, because I get to reveal who he is very, very slowly. Thank you for such a lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #27, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The Pavilion

8th September 2013:
Hey there, dear!

First off, let me congratulate you on winning Featured Story!! :) And now, to your review!

This is a very intriguing first chapter, and it's already got me craving more! I have so many questions, and I can't wait for them to be answered!

One, for example, is how these girls and their father are related to Rowena Ravenclaw. And I was quite shocked to see Helga Hufflepuff there, too!! I'm also really concerned about who's watching them dance!

Anyway, an awesome chapter and I can't wait to read the next! 10/10!

Author's Response: Hi Jayde!
Thank you so much! I'm thrilled that people voted for my story! :)
I'm so happy you liked the opening chapter, and that it left you with questions! That's a good thing since I'm trying to make this at least a little mysterious! Haha :)
Cassie :)


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Review #28, by teh tarik The Governess

18th August 2013:
Hi Cassie!

Gah, first of all, I'm so sorry it's taken me quite some time to get to your latest chapter. Oh, the sacrifices I make for RL! :P

So the title of this chapter is The Governess, and I'm guessing this is from the scene between Mistress Helga and Dezzy, which I loved and really enjoyed reading because it was such a moment of warmth and consolation for Dezzy. Helga's patience and tenderness toward all the girls is so wonderful to read, and it really does fit our knowledge of Helga Hufflepuff from canon. I loved the description of her chambers and how welcoming and cosy it is; I'm guessing this is a reference (of a sort) to the snug Hufflepuff common room and dorms in Hogwarts? Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, the conversation between Helga and Dezzy was lovely, and it must be such a relief for poor Dezzy, who is becoming increasingly despondent. From this scene, it's clear that Helga is the only adult in this story so far who has shown any true patience and tenderness toward Dezzy and the other girls; their father is detached and cold, and so is Aunt Rowena, and I have this strange feeling that Salazar unsettles (as well as excites) Dezzy too much to be a source of comfort. Helga's character is such a contrast to Rowena.

I love that little sister-to-sister talk with Ettie; she certainly is a little drama queen. :P I can just sense the uneasiness lingering in the girls' thoughts, at the possibility of them being separated and shipped off to be married to people they don't know before they're even ready. I think for these girls, separation from each other would be a really heavy blow to each and every one of them; after all, they grew up together, and turned to each other for comfort and care in the absence of parental figures.

And my goodness, what an ending! The King has found out! And I'm sure he's in a right old but completely irrational rage. It's terrifying, but it's also incredibly maddening that he would be so angry at his daughters just because they're dancing, and his dead wife loved to dance when she was alive. Ugh, the king's grief is honestly so unhealthy and detrimental and oppressive toward his own daughters. I honestly can't wait to find out what happens next!

This was a lovely chapter, Cassie! I really enjoyed reading this and I'm so glad you updated. :D Lovely writing, as always ♥

teh

Author's Response: Hi teh!
I loved writing that scene between Dezzy and Helga, simply because Helga loves the girls so much, and is willing to actually listen to them. They need someone to be there for them, and although Dezzy now has Godric to talk to, before they met she would have only had Helga to talk to after her mother died.
The description of Helga's room is supposed to be reminiscent of the Hufflepuff common room, with the colors, the warmth, and the plants everywhere. I wanted to keep that element as part of Helga's character, because I feel like the descriptions we have of the common room fit her so well.
Ettie is so much fun for me to write! She's so overdramatic about everything, which means I can make her way over the top, and it hopefully provides some comic relief to the darker moments of this story! But this conversation was one where I wanted to show a more genuine side of her, because she really does worry about being forced away from her sisters. As much as she teases Dezzy about running away with Godric, she really wants what Dezzy has. Ettie would love meeting a guy like that and being friends with him, especially if it meant she could get away from the pretty dreary day to day life the girls are stuck in with their aunt and father.
And yes the king has found out! And the fact that he's furious just makes things worse for the girls. His grief has really twisted his view of the world, and I think h forgets that his daughters loved their mother just has much as he did, and that they suffered, too. The difference is that the girls want to remember her, not shut the memories out because they're painful.
I'm so happy you're enjoying where I'm taking this story, and that you continue to enjoy it! Thank you so much for taking the time to keep reading and reviewing!!!
Cassie :)


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Review #29, by Gabriella Hunter The Governess

12th August 2013:
Hello!

Cassie, its always such a pleasure coming back to your work! I'm so sorry that its been a while since I've last reviewed for you, I don't have internet at home and life sucks without it. I'm going through withdrawal...
But on to this! Ah, the girls and their suffering with Rowena. I really love these scenes because it shows so much range with the girl's personalities and I just adore Bea. She's hilarious but Dezzy was too busy wondering about Salazar? Could it be that she's starting to have deeper feelings for him? Argh, I would love to know! I'm sort of worried that there's going to be more going on with those two and it was great that Mistress Helga noticed how distant she's been. I really liked the brief information you gave on her, I had wondered about her personal life for a while now. :D
But the issue with their father is growing and what about Godric? What about their golden-haired babies?! D': I want that to happen!!! But gosh, that ending...I'm so worried! D':
What's their father going to do?!
I can't wait for the next chapter, this was simply fantastic and I'm really rooting for the girls! I hope they won't stop going to dance because of this and I Aunt Rowena doesn't become suspicious...
On my end, expect Abandon in a little while and after that we've got A Force of Blaise. Hahahahah.
Until then and thanks for the read!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I had so much fun writing another scene with Rowena, even if she is so mean! I love the range of the girls' personalities, too, and their reactions to their aunt really shows that! And Bea never fails to make me smile when I'm writing her! She's never afraid to hide her emotions!
And Dezzy and Salazar... Things with him will continue to slowly develop, so don't worry! But things may surprise you, too! Heehee. I loved writing Helga, because she was the Founder I'd developed the least, but I've loved her character throughout this story. She's the closest thing the girls have to a mother, and they're all very dear to her.
You'll just have to wait and see what their father does! but I can tell you that it's not going to be pretty!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this! You're reviews are always so wonderful! I can't wait for Abandon!
Cassie :)


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Review #30, by Gabriella Hunter The Bracelet

15th June 2013:
BOo!

I told you that I'd be back. So I love that I'm all caught up on this story now and you've actually got me kind of nervous. But anyway, what I really enjoyed the kinship between Dezzy and her sisters and I was really surprised by Addie. I think she's shown some good growth as a character and I wonder how rebellious she'll be in the future in regards to she and her sister's welfare.
On the other hand...I'm kind of starting to think that the girls going to see Salazar is not such a good idea. The imagery you used though was simply perfection and I could see it so celarly in my head and really enjoyed getting back in touch with it. It feels so otherworldly but slightly strange...I don't know why but I think something really bizarre happened while she and Salazar danced. Was there a time leap of some sort? Are she and her sisters becoming addicted to the pavilion? Argh, the questions...I hope you update for this soon!
Salazar gave her a present too, I wonder does it have some sort of magic? Does it draw her to him more? What is she going to do about her father and Godric?! ARGH! Update soon please! :D
No Cc's either, just that I'd have liked a bit of a longer chapter. Hehehe.
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: I have you nervous? Good! That's what I was going for! ;)
I really wanted the sisters to come even closer after Dezzy horrible conversation with the King, and I think Addie's transformation was the most major during that. Being the oldest, she has this sense of duty to do what her father wants, while also protecting her sisters, and I think this chapter is when she finally understands that thinking of the girls first is the only way she can really look out for them and their happiness.
I'm thrilled that you liked the imagery! I have such a clear picture in my head of Salazar and the pavilion, that I want to make it as clear as possible when I'm actually writing it. And when she and Salazar danced, time still passed how it normally does, but Dezzy was so absorbed in their dance that she feels like no time at all has passed, even though it's been hours. And the bracelet that Salazar gave her isn't what it seems, and will be important in the story, so keep an eye out for it!
Thank you so much for such a wonderful review! I'm so happy you're enjoying this story, even as it gets darker and more bizarre and mysterious. Thanks again!!! I really can't say thank you enough!
Cassie :)


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Review #31, by Gabriella Hunter The Perfect Daughter

15th June 2013:
Hello!

Hey, I told you that I'd pop on over here and here I am. I'm not a liar you know! So its great being back with the girls and I'm terribly sad that they haven't snuck back to the pavilion yet. But with what happened in the last chapter I can't really blame them and I was really feeling sorry for Dezzy in this chapter. I could totally understand what she was goign through and I think you wrote her and her father's confrontation very brilliantly. He didn't seem to want to acknowledge that he had a problem in not talking with the girls and I really hated that about his character just then.
I'm wondering what's going to break through to him with that and I feel so bad for Dezzy, trying to express herself and then being shut down. What I didn't expect was for her to go to Godric, I thought that she would run to Salazar! But oh, the sweetness! I just want that ship to work out between her and Godric! I want that to happen so badly! I think the little kiss he gave her on her hand was just sheer perfection, I sort of had to contain myself but then was so upset when she decided to go to the pavilion.
Its strange on some level that Godric's kiss made her so happy and then she goes to see Salazar and dance. I wonder if she's either confused or just fascinated by him that it doesn't matter? Hm.
Well, this was a great chapter and I'm moving on to teh next one right now! :D
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I was really mean to poor Dezzy in this chapter, huh? But you're so good at torturing your female leads, so the fact that you thought I did a good job means a lot! :) They didn't want to take their chances sneaking off to the pavilion, so that's why they held off for a while.
Dezzy and her father have a really damaged relationship, but like Addie says, it isn't unfixable yet. Dezzy has to reach out to her father if she wants to keep the hope of getting along with him some day! But the King really isn't a good listener, and is way too wrapped up in his grief over losing his wife to hear what Dezzy is trying to tell him. The most fatal mistake he makes is not giving himself time to accept his wife's death, and try to reconnect with the girls. He's really hurting himself, because he doesn't understand that his daughters feel the same way he does!
It's going to take a lot to break through to him, and it won't be very soon, either. Sometimes extreme measures must be taken, though!
And I thought Dezzy would go to Godric because he's almost the complete opposite of her father. He listens to her, and tries to comfort her and make her happy. He doesn't put her status before the fact that she's human and that she's unhappy being forced to play the role of perfect daughter and princess.
And the end of this chapter was really interesting for me to write, simply because I wanted it to have a certain tone. His kiss makes her go to the pavilion because she associates it with freedom on one level. That's where the girls go to dance, and where Dezzy feels like she has the freedom to do what she loves and be herself. It's less about Salazar in that moment, and more about the dancing itself.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #32, by teh tarik The Bracelet

7th June 2013:
Hello Cassie! Took me some time to get to your chapter, but I'm so glad I'm here now! I'm afraid this will be a rather brief review because it's nearly three in the morning and I've been working all day :)

But I'm so pleased to see the development in this chapter! It's quite interesting that you mentioned in the author's note that you weren't expecting this turn in Dezzy's character. Because I think this was a great turn of events. The girls have been dancing and visiting Salazar for quite a number of times now since the story started and they discovered the mysterious world behind Dezzy's bed, and little has happened with Salazar. I've always had the impression that he's been waiting quietly and patiently, biding his time for whatever deed he's about to do. He's been quite a sinister character and despite the girls' many meetings with him, nothing about his motives or backstory is revealed. You've really established a good sense of mystery - of complete unreadability - about his character. And now I'm really excited to see that he's begun to act by giving Dezzy that strange magical bracelet.

It is a very intriguing gesture, and the bracelet seems like a highly magical object, and I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't exactly the purest of gifts, either. Your last paragraph was really beautifully written; it was chilling and there was a deep sense of unease to it. I love the way this chapter has developed in terms of mood. It started with the sisters' lovely conversational scene, and it ended with their intense tiredness, which was rather unsettling. Somehow, despite there being twelve of them, they still seem vulnerable, especially in that final bit when they can barely walk back towards their bedroom. There really is something strange and powerful at work here :D

Gah, anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I'm so happy to see this story updated! I do hope there'll be more plot development in future chapters, and that you'll slowly begin to unravel the mystery about Salazar :) And of course, more Godric ♡ ♡

Lovely writing, Cassie!

teh

Author's Response: Hi teh!
I'm so happy you liked where I'm taking Dezzy's character! I tend to learn a lot about my characters as I write them, and they never end up the way I first expect them to, and Dezzy was certainly no exception!
It's true that nothing has really happened with Salazar up until this point, but I think that's why the girls keep going back. They feel safe there, and think they know what to expect, and that they can go and dance, and then return home like usual. But all is not as it seems! Salazar will start to be unraveled, but it might be a little while until he lets anyone really find out anything about him! The bracelet is a start though, and it's going to play a bigger part in the story, so keep an eye out for it!
The mood of this chapter is definitely changing the way the story unfolds from now on. It's starting to get darker, and although there will be some light, happy moments, there are some mysterious things lurking about...
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, and hopefully I can update again soon so you have more to read! Thank you so much for the fantastic review!
Cassie :)


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Review #33, by nott theodore The Pavilion

28th May 2013:
Hi Cassie!

This story actually caught my while ago on the recently added page, but I haven't had much time for reading recently. But I think you have a fantastic idea here; HP is a world full of magic and pairing it with a fairy tale works really well.

I think the dream was a really nice way to open this story. They're such a useful device, and they're really common in older stories, which fits in with the fact this was inspired by The Twelve Dancing Princesses. I didn't even realise it was a dream until she woke up, and you do a lovely job of showing rather than telling, with all the description and little details about her character and he oldest sisters. The dream also provided an effective contrast between Desiya's life before and after her mother's death, and highlighted her unhappiness since then.

I really like the way you weave this story into the Founders' era, by including Helga Hufflepuff as their governess and the girls being from the Ravenclaw family. I'm interested about how Desiya and Rowena are related as well, by the way.

One thing I thought was a really nice touch was the alphabetical names you gave to the twelve sisters. It can be very difficult to introduce so many new characters and set the scene in the first chapter of a story but you did a really good job with that as well.

I enjoyed the ending, too. It follows the fairy tale just enough but leaves us on a bit of a cliff-hanger which makes me want to read on and find out who exactly is watching them.

I did notice a few typos in this but they weren't anything major, and they're easily fixed if you just proof read the chapter again. I really enjoyed this though, and I'll be back as soon as I get a chance!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!
I'm so glad you liked the dream as a way of opening the story. When I first started writing it, having the first chapter open with a dream came really naturally for some reason. Personally, I love reading dream sequences in stories, so writing one was really fun!
All four of the founders will be weaved into the story at one point or another, so you will meet them all eventually! I had a lot of fun figuring out how I wanted to characterize them to fit the time and place of this story, especially since it's AU.
Writing twelve sisters, who are almost always all together, is tough, just because I want to make sure everyone gets introduced. The alphabetical names is something I've always read as a part of the original fairy tale and all the adaptations that I've come across, so I thought it would be nice to include in my story. But you're right, it does help to keep all those sisters straight!
And I'm glad you enjoyed the ending! What's a fairy tale without a little mystery? :) thank you so much for the lovely review, and I hope you enjoy the story if you decide to stick with it!
Cassie :)


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Review #34, by teh tarik The Perfect Daughter

4th April 2013:
...my feelings toward King Ravenclaw have got a lot more bitter :P I just...argh. If I could, I'd like to take him by the shoulders and shake him until or the sense returns to him. Sigh. He's cold and practical and cut-off but he doesn't sound like a bad guy at all. Agh, he's frustrating and I do sympathise with Dezzy completely, and how there is an utter absence of progress or any cordiality in the relationship between the two.

But I'm so glad you chose to bring Godric into the second half of the chapter :D It really balances out the mood, and it's a lighter moment and heh I'm a Godric/Dezzy shipper :P (...Gozzy...?). And there's such a nice contrast between the two scenes, how her father is so completely emotionally detached compared to Godric who agrees with her and takes her side on this and reassures her. So lovely ♥

And I loved that final paragraph so much I don't even. Aah.

A soft, warm feeling that she couldn't quite place, but as she went to rejoin her sisters, she couldn't help but think of Godric's kind smile and the warmth of his hand holding hers. She wanted to dance, loving the happiness that had replaced the bitter feelings that the meeting with her father had thrust on her. She quickened her pace, a request already on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to go to the pavilion.

Sorry, just...er...quoted most of the paragraph back to you, but I loved how sensitive and delicate this is (...I know I use the word "delicate" a lot to describe your writing, but it really is :) ). And that last sentence. And how you subtly brought Salazar into the chapter, how he has become as much a part of Dezzy's life as Godric, her sisters, her father etc.

Alright, another lovely chapter! Great work, I hope you'll be updating soon ♥

teh

Author's Response: Ah, the King... He's a tough character for me to write! And he really could do with some sense, couldn't he? He just can't see that his daughters are grieving just like he is, and that they won't be able to really move on until they get him back.
I felt like I needed Godric there, and wanted him to be the one to first comfort Dezzy, because he's so willing to see her side of things, and being a stable hand, he isn't influenced by what they court might think. So I'm really pleased you liked the contrast!
Delicate is fine with me! It's a word that I would use to describe this as well, just because of how I go about getting into Dezzy's character. I'm being really careful with her, especially because she has so many relationships in her life that influence her so heavily. She has an interesting way of thinking, and I'm really trying to make it work!
Thank you so much for this (long) amazing review!!! I could spend forever thanking you for reading this story!
Cassie :)


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Review #35, by TheHouseElf The Pavilion

15th March 2013:
Hi Cassie!

I remember reading 'The Twelve Dancing Princesses' as a child, and this story just takes me back to a time where fairy tales were as real as anything. I loved the description at the beginning, as well how you set the tone of the story ;) This was a really poignant start and I loved it :D Definitely a story for the favourites!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you've decided to read this story, and that it takes you back to The Twelve Dancing Princesses! I always loved that fairytale, and I'm really thrilled that you enjoyed this because it took you to that time and place. Thank you so much for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)


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Review #36, by Gabriella Hunter The Slipper

9th March 2013:
Hello!

Hey there! I'm really sorry that I didn't come back to this really quickly, I have been really busy with things lately. It sucks! D':
So we're back with the girls and I just love it when they go through to the pavilion. There's just something to very dreamy and lovely about the way you write it and I can't get the images of what I think it looks like from my mind. I think you use such subtle hints of imagery here and there that really capture the scope of it so well. And I don't care what anyone says, Salazar freaks me out, why do I keep getting the feeling that he's hunting Dezzy?
Perhaps I'm reading too much into it but he gives her so much attention and I know that there's something so mysterious about him but I have this feeling in my gut...
But I might just be hungry. :D
Anyway, I'd like to know more about him and Dezzy's feelings for him are growing and the way you write her attraction to him are just perfection. I mean, I sat there sighing the whole time, it was just such a great way, I love the line about her still feeling the press of his hand in her own. Gosh that was so simple but so wonderful!
But now the girls have been found out and good for Dezzy standing up to their father! I was really scared for them though and so upset that he was so cold towards her, I really can't stand it! Ugh, and Dezzy was so upset later, I hope she goes to see Godric and they have a nice long, passionate/perhaps a heavy snog/ talk. :D
I really loved this chapter and I'm sad that I won't be able to keep reading while I'll be away but I'll stop by whenever I can my dear! There was only one grammar thing, you meant to say "had" but wrote "hand" but that was the only one I spotted.
Otherwise, it was great.
OH! A FORCE OF WILLS IS UP! A FORCE OF WILLS IS UP!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
The pavilion is really fun to write because I can just dive into the descriptions of what everything looks like and how Dezzy and her sisters love it all so much. It's so different from the dreary life they live with their father that they really soak in every minute they can have being happy and free. And Salazar is really bizarre and mysterious... But it will still be a while before you find out more about him! Heeheehee.
And the girls' father is so tough for me, because sometimes I just want to make him beg for forgiveness and become an amazing father, but he's just too consumed with grief to see clearly, and realize how he's hurting his daughters.
I'm so glad that you enjoyed this chapter, because I had a ton of fun writing it!!! Thank you so much for the amazing review!
Cassie :)


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Review #37, by teh tarik The Slipper

8th March 2013:
So glad to see this updated ♥

Again, another lovely dancing scene with Salazar, though when I say "lovely" I mean "written beautifully". Salazar himself isn't quite lovely; he's unnerving, he's mysterious, and there's a lot about him that hasn't been revealed and I do hope the girls will soon start to find things out :)

Argghh His Majesty, the king. I'm not particularly fond of him :P He's just...utterly insensitive. I think he's probably too self-absorbed in his own grief to recognise that his daughters, especially Dezzy, are all neglected and suffering as well :( And like always, you depict the princesses' lives so well, their routines and the manners and behaviour they have to display...it's all so dreary and gloomy sometimes. I'm just so glad that there are twelve of them so they'll never be too lonely; having each other is probably the only joy they currently have in their lives.

I love how Beatrice is the only one who stops making excuses for their father :D The other sisters keep pushing Dezzy to try harder, and that their father really loves them and all...but Bea is great. Bea simply tells Dezz not to listen to him, and instead fall back on her sisters. I'm loving Bea heaps :D

Aww, this has been a sadder and less upbeat chapter, but it's lovely and I really enjoyed reading it :) I do hope things will get better for Dezzy and maybe Godric will appear ahahaha. Can't wait for your next update, Cassie ♥ Great writing, as always!

-teh

Author's Response: Hello teh!
I'm so glad you enjoyed the dancing scene! I always have fun writing those :) And Salazar is pretty strange... And there is still quite a bit that we don't know about him, but I'm still going to be mean and reveal it super slowly ;)
The king is really hard for me to write just because he's so cold to his own daughters! But he definitely is still grieving his wife, because he loved her more than anything. He just doesn't realize that his daughters are also grieving, and he's sort of shut himself off from any kind of reminder of their mother.
I really love Bea just for that. She tells it like it is, and isn't afraid to criticize the king, even though he is their father. And she also really loves her sisters which I think shows through how she stops giving their father the benefit of the doubt.
I'm so pleased that you liked this chapter, and I hope you enjoy where I take the story after this!
Cassie :)


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Review #38, by teh tarik The Return

6th February 2013:
Hello! I'm so glad you've updated, and so quickly as well :D

Wow, this chapter really has so much in it - there's princess practice with Aunt Rowena, and that uncomfortable conversation between Addie and Dezzy, and the girls' father returning home (he's such a cold man!), and then the ending where the girls decide to go dancing yet again in the mysterious silver forest. This chapter is really so well-written! Everything just flows so beautifully and as always, you portray the girls' lives and (sometimes dreary) daily routines so convincingly.

Now, as all of you should already know, a princess is given the very important task of finding a husband.

Gah! Rowena is such an incredibly stuffy aunt! But all her beliefs and attitudes fit wonderfully with the time period your story is set in. I think you've got a really good grasp of the social conventions of the era and other things like that - and this came through very well in Addie and Dezzy's little chat. The whole thing about how girls shouldn't be alone with boys and all.

And oh my gosh the ending! That was just so wonderful and mysterious and unsettling - you left us with this image of Salazar waiting there. It's really an amazing image to end this chapter with!

Alright, this has been a really lovely chapter. There's so much in it and yet everything is just perfectly paced. I think your story is really coming on beautifully and I can't wait to read on :D

Cheers!

-teh

Author's Response: Hello teh!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, because it definitely was packed with stuff!!! I wanted to get a lot done with this chapter, so I can start to move the story along some more, because I have plans for future chapters that I can't wait to get to!
Rowena really is uptight and stiff and really proper. I'm glad you think she fits with the era because that's what I was going for! And Addie was trying to warn Dezzy not to go wild by being alone with a boy for too long (gasp, it's so horrible! :P)
And I'm really pleased with how you felt about the ending! I worked really hard to get that right, so I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for all of you great reviews for this story!
Cassie :)


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Review #39, by Gabriella Hunter The Return

4th February 2013:
HELLO!

Hey, there, I said that I would be back with a review for you. :)
So things have started to progress a bit with Aunt Rowena and like Bea, I can't help but scowl at what she's telling them. There's not an ounce of kindness in that woman and I felt their pain and sort of hoped that Bea would run around in her underwear or something. Just to do it but that didn't happen, though she did give a good demonstration of their aunt later. :D Hahahhah.
So, Addie is starting to get a little worried about Dezzy and did I detect some attraction from her when her sister was talking to her? Hm? :3 Perhaps? Hahhaha. I hope nothing happens between them that will tear them apart, it would really make me upset! Darn, Addie.
And their dad finally came home and I think you played on poor Dezzy's emotions so very well. It was so hard to see her that troubled and the meeting with their father was just so awkward. I mean, he didn't hug or kiss them at all and poor Dezzy, she was so nervous about what had happened in his letter and seeing him acting that way only made it worse. :(
But, they went to see Salazar and I think Addie is right, Dezzy can't seem to see that some people might be bad. She should be more caerful. He really creeps me out...
Anyhoo, I loved this as usual and can't wait for your next update! Your pacing and all that was great and I just adore Dezzy as a main character.
Much love,
Gabbie

P.S.: Benjamin says he hopes to see you tomorrow, as he and Roxanne should be back up by then. :D

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!
I really have a hard time writing Aunt Rowena, and the King, too, because they're just so cold and don't understand the girls at all! It takes me a while to get into the right mindset to write them, so I'm happy you think I did a good job getting their personalities to come across!
Addie isn't as worried about Godric as she is about Salazar, and I think that she was right to talk to Dezzy about it, especially because Dezzy is so trusting when it comes to people she doesn't know all that well.
And then the King returned! I really did play with Dezzy's emotions when she saw her father again, because she knows what to expect from him, and she doesn't want those expectations to be true. The fact that they are right, and that he is as distant and as cold as she thought he would be really hurts her. Seeing him after getting that letter really made her a puddle of nerves.
And then they returned to the pavilion, to dance their cares away! And Salazar creeping you out, huh? I won't say whether or not that intensifies in the future... Thank you so much for the lovely review!
Cassie :)


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Review #40, by teh tarik The Friendship

28th January 2013:
Hello Cassie :D So...I'm your ex-Secret Santa now :P Gah, I know I said I'd review this some days ago, but RL and all...and then I forgot. Sorry :( Anyway, I am SO GLAD you updated :)

I'm really enjoying your story so far! That little scene and the conversation with Godric inside his warm homely little cottage was just too sweet. And Godric declaring that he'd rather have his horses and be a stable hand than be a royal princess-in-training! Made me giggle a little. Oh, and THIS PART:

Dezzy liked his smile. His warm brown eyes crinkled, and she saw as a piece of the golden mane of his hair fell into his eyes. Slowly, she reached up and brushed it back from his face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the sun was now at it's highest point in the sky.

My insides have become mush. A lovely sort of mush. Your words are just so beautiful and vivid, and for this part, there was something rather subtle to it.

I also enjoyed the second part of the chapter with Dezzy's sisters, and how eager they are. They are shipping Dezzy with Godric as much as I am :D

And the ending! Such a mysterious and unsettling ending to what has been a very lovely warm chapter with lots of good feels in it. I really love how you described Salazar's eyes - their colour and their peculiarity. I'm really curious to know what happens next, and how the thing between Dezzy and Salazar will develop.

Anyway, this has been a great chapter! I've enjoyed reading it and I think your story is just getting more and more intriguing. Can't wait to read more :) And I'm going to favourite this before I forget again.

:)

-teh

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad that you continued reading this story! Don't worry about not reviewing right away, it's totally fine!
I love writing Dezzy and Godric together, because they're both smart, kind people, who have genuine conversations, and really care about one another's feelings.
Well, I'm glad you're insides are a lovely sort of mush! I don't think any other kind would be so good ;) But Dezzy and Godric are starting to gradually get closer... and the Ravenclaw girls are making sure that they are informed every step of the way!
I'm really glad you picked up on all of that in the ending! I really wanted to get an uneasiness to it after all the warmth and loveliness of Dezzy's day with Godric.
I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed this chapter, and I hope you continue to read! Thank you so much for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)


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Review #41, by Gabriella Hunter The Friendship

19th January 2013:
HELLO!

Hey, Cassie, its Gabbie! :) I'm so glad that you updated for this, I was starting to think that you would never do it! For a while we didn't have anything to read and it was torture! :) Hahahhaa.
Anyway, I'm so rooting for Dezzy and Godric. I want the two of them to get together in the same way you want Blaise and Astoria to happen. The fact that Godric isn't intimidated by the fact that Dezzy is a princess just speaks wonders about his character.
I was glad that Dezzy was able to open up about her relationship with her father to him. Godric's upbringing seems to have been completely different from her own and the contrast is really noticeable.
Every time I think of her father's letter, I cringe a little on the inside. :(
I hope that sorts itself out in the future in some way. Dezzy herself is trying to stay positive and I'm glad that she is for the moment, though I'm sure what happened with her father bothers her alot still.
As for the later part of this, hahaha, Ettie! Hilarious! She's really random, isn't she? But I'm surprised that Addie didn't give Dezzy more of a tongue-lashing for being inside Godric's cottage! Perhaps she will later? :3
But oh, the ending! No matter if she had such a great time with Godric, Salazar still creeps up. I loved those last few lines too, they were simply beautiful. :)
So update soon! Ah, what are you updating for next? Trying to get the Misfits up there. And then Abandon...Merlin help me, I've got such a block for it! :(
Anyway, see you on the forums!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: HEY! It's good to see you back here again, Gabbie!
I'm so glad that you enjoyed the Dezzy/Godric moments! They were really fun for me to write, and I could really picture them happening. And their conversation is so natural, and not formal or forced, which is a nice break from how things are with Rowena and the girls' father. and you want them together that badly??? Because I REALLY want Astoria and Blaise together! Haha.
Her father's letter is really harsh, and it makes me cringe, too. But unfortunately, that's not the end of that.
Ettie is one of my favorite characters to write in this story, because she's such a drama queen!!! It's awesome! And Addie definitely disapproves of Dezzy's little outing with Godric, and isn't letting the subject drop forever! Haha.
And the ending... Dezzy's starting to get closer with Godric, but she's also still fascinated with Salazar! And you'll just have to wait to see how everything turns out! heeheehee.
I can't wait for more updates from you!!! LMT is next for me if I can actually get working on it! Thank you so much for the great review, I'll talk to you on the forums!
Cassie :)


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Review #42, by magnolia_magic The Second Night

17th January 2013:
Cassie! I've seen this story mentioned around the Hufflepuff CR, and as a Founders lover I had to come check it out! I hope to have time for a longer review on some of the later chapters soon, but I just wanted to stop by and say how much I'm enjoying it so far :)

I love the tone of your writing; it transports me back into that era effortlessly. These first two chapters make me think of childhood and sisterhood and first love and all those lovely things. Your language is enchanting, and I love getting to know all the sisters. You're doing a wonderful job! I look forward to reading more! :)

--Maggie

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so glad that you decided to check out this story!!! I'm honestly thrilled that you're enjoying this, because it's amazing for me to write, and I always hope that readers will get as much of an experience from it as I do! Thank you so much for the lovely review, and I hope you continue with the story!
Cassie :)


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Review #43, by The Misfit The Pavilion

10th January 2013:
Hi there! I'm here after resurrecting the Hufflepuff "review the person above" thread, and while I'm sure that I've read the Twelve Dancing Princesses, I can't remember 100% what it was about - but I'm getting away from the point here.

I especially liked how you wrote this first chapter! I don't usually read Founders era, but this sounded intriguing and I'm glad that I read it! Your descriptions are lovely; I can really see the scenes unfolding in my mind's eye. The imagery that you use is excellent and while I'm not an expert on medieval history, everything seems accurate to that time period so far- although I have to ask: if Dezzy and her sisters are princesses, wouldn't they be dressed by maids and have their own rooms? Just my opinion there. :)

I quite liked the dream scene, as it showed the contrast between Dezzy's life before her mother's death and her life afterwards. I also think that you did a good job of explaining the setting, introducing the characters and providing a backstory without making the story tedious to read- well done! XD

I did notice a couple of typos - "the snarls her elbow-length auburn curls" should be "the snarls of her elbow-length auburn curls" and a few spelling mistakes, but nothing that couldn't be fixed by proofreading a couple more times. ;) If you're not confident in your ability to pick up typos, you can post a request in the "Betas Wanted" section on the forums, and a beta could proofread your chapters for you. :)

You've certainly done well in leaving readers hanging at the end of this chapter; I'm curious as to how Dezzy and Rowena Ravenclaw are related, considering that they have the same surname, and who is watching the princesses dance! This is a really good first chapter, Cassie! ♥

PS: Oh, and that was a nice touch incorporating Helga Hufflepuff into the story!

Author's Response: Hello! It's lovely to see a fellow Puff! :)
I'm so glad you enjoyed the first chapter of this story! I love the Twelve Dancing Princesses, and really wanted to write with it, and thought that the Founders would be fun to use, because we don't know as much about their characters as we do with the marauders or Harry's generation.
I'm really glad you can picture the action in the story, because I think fairytales do a lovely job of being descriptive, and I wanted to keep that here! As for the girls' room, I had them share because I think they would rather share than be separated. They take care of each other, so this is just another way for them to be close.
I'll go back and fix the typos, so thank you for pointing them out! I tend to rush through editing... heehee.
I am so glad that you enjoyed the opening to this story, and I hope you'll continue to read!
Thank you so much!
Cassie :)


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Review #44, by Secret Santa The Cottage

26th December 2012:
Hello again!

I love your description of Godric's cottage! It just about sounds like the warmest, homeliest, cosiest, most delightful place to live ever!

It had shutters that were painted blue, and an old stone chimney that Dezzy could picture with smoke puffing from the top, and the whole house was frosted with snow, making it look like the houses Dezzy and her sisters made out of gingerbread.


I really do enjoy your descriptive details in the whole story so far; they are rather simple and yet striking, quaint and elegant - and completely in keeping with a sort of medieval fairytale setting. I love that Godric's making tea for Dezzy :) I already ship the two! And just as things are stepping up between Dezzy and Salazar, so the friendship (?) between Godric and Desiya is certainly getting stronger!

OK, I see that this is the last chapter in the story. I'm glad that all four FOunders have been introduced. So what I've got from them is: Godric as the kind, good stablehand, Helga as the warm, caring guardian figure, Salazar as the enigmatic, unsettling possible attraction shrouded in mystery, and Rowena as the severe, conventional and almost-cold aunt. I love all the contrasts between their characterisations! And I'm really rooting for Dezzy/Godric :D

I think you've done an excellent job with this story and I really enjoy reading it :) I haven't read any Founders fairytale AU fics before, and this one is definitely very intriguing and imaginative. I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for an update. I'll probably nominate it as the January featured story in the common room :D

Thanks for writing!

Author's Response: Hello, hello, hello!
I'm so glad you liked Godric's cottage! It was a really clear picture in my mind before I wrote it, and am thrilled that you liked it!
You ship Godric and Dezzy? Really? That's amazing!!! Thank you! And oh yes, we musn't forget that we have two boys in Dezzy's life! :)
I'm so glad you like how I've writen the founders! I'm really having fun with them, and coming up with what type of people they are and how they fit into my story is a ton of fun! And I hope you'll stick with this story to see wat happens with Dezzy, Godric, and Salazar!
I'm so glad you like this story, and the fact that you nominated for the January featured story is INCREDIBLE. Thank you so much!!!
Cassie :)


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Review #45, by Secret Santa The Lover's Knot

26th December 2012:
Hello there! Happy Boxing Day :D

I'm back for more reading and reviewing! I quite enjoyed the intricacy of the Lover's Knot dance; you've certainly gone into a lot of detail to describing it and I think you've done really well :D I love the difference in the way Salazar treats Dezzy and how he treats her other sisters! If I'm not mistaken he doesn't dance the Lover's Knot with the others, just the waltz.

Well, I think you've certainly done well to develop Dezzy's growing attraction to Salazar :) This was done very well.

Overall, it was a great chapter - it was much shorter than the others, but I think the level of detail you included to show the interaction between Dez and Saz really made up for it. Great work :)

Author's Response: Hello again!
I'm so glad you enjoyed the Lover's Knot! It was hard to choreograph, and even harder to put in writing, so I'm really glad it made sense!!! I'm being really careful with the way Salazar interactts with the girls. It's a really important part of the stories, as is the dances they do together, so I'm glad you're picking up on that! thank you so much for the fabulous review!
Cassie :)


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Review #46, by Secret Santa The Arrival

25th December 2012:
Hello again! Oh, I forgot to wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Hope you have a wonderful time with friends and family :D

So I seem to have made a mistake in one of my previous reviews...where I assumed that the girls' dead mother was Rowena. I have absolutely no idea why I assumed such, seeing as their mother's name was never mentioned :) I guess it must have been because the girls' surnames were Ravenclaw.

Anyway, about the real Rowena - she certainly cuts a very striking figure :D I love the description of her, and how she feels as this almost uptight severe woman who tolerates children rather than adores them. She certainly sounds like a stickler for rules and traditions and conventions and all that. Her first meeting with the girls did remind me rather strongly of Severus Snape! Especially with her high-necked black gown, her "curt nod", her sneer when she greeted Bea and the way the girls were intimidated by her. But I'm really enjoying the portrayal of her so far! This is definitely a very strong and memorable introduction of her and there's quite a lot of tension between her and the girls. I'm very interested to see how their interactions with each other pan out :)

I also loved that scene between the girls where there was a lot of lovely banter between them. It was funny and it was warm, and it provided a nice contrast to the previous scene with the austere Rowena in it. Do be careful, however, not to overdo the dialogue bits, or at least, to balance it out with narrative. You could perhaps intersperse bits of action or description between those lines of dialogue.

Other than that, this was a really well-written chapter! I've enjoyed reading it :) Can't wait to read more...am interested to see more of Godric and Salazar :D

Author's Response: Hello! Sorry it took so long for me to get responding to your reviews again!
I love how much you picked up on with Rowena! And yes, she is very uptight! Since Rowena has no children of her own, she isn't used to them. And being thrust into a house with twelve girls, some of which being so wild, it's definitely a change for her! Haha. I love your comparison of Rowena and Snape! I had never thought of that, but I absolutely love it!
The girls are really fun to write. They can say almost anything, and there are so many conflincting personalities, and it's a ton of fun!
Thank you so much for the lovely review!!!
Cassie :)


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Review #47, by Secret Santa The Letter

25th December 2012:
He can't disapprove if he doesn't know.

I love Mistress Helga! She's a real sport :D

Another wonderful chapter! I really enjoyed this because the flow of it was delightful. Everything just happened so naturally, the girls really are a fun delightful bunch and I might have said this before - but I just love the way they look after each other. There are implications that Addie has assumed the role of mother to the rest, and Bea with her fun-loving and entertaining ways as (possibly) some sort of father figure. Well...I think :)

The king's letter to Dezzy was indeed very harsh; the degree of harshness actually did take me by surprise. I thought he would have been more slippery - diplomatic but insincere, full of political rhetoric and all that. But he was relaly outright dismissive and cruel, and I was rather surprised. But I do like to be taken by surprise and have my expectations subverted, so well done :D I also enjoyed how Dezzy's reaction to her father's letter is not one of extreme sadness or bitterness. She's just terribly resigned, and feeling quite jaded - and there's something so poignant about that moment. It was written beautifully, without melodrama and with a great deal of emotional honesty.

And the way her sisters comforted her is just wonderful! I love how Dezzy burns the letter - she does have a fiery spark in her, which is a nice touch to her characterisation :D

You've also introduced Rowena! I can't wait to see her turn up and see how she's like :D There's already an air of mystery around her about why she's been so conspicuously absent from the girls' lives. I'm looking forward to reading about her! I love how the Founders are being so slowly and carefully introduced in your story :D Your pacing is wonderful.

And well, I have many favourite quotes from this chapter, but my absolute favourite moment would be this scene:

The girls scrambled from the table, and putting on cloaks, gloves, mufflers, and scarves, ran outside into the steadily falling snow. The girls skipped about, making a dozens of little footprints across the white grounds. Soon, a snowball fight broke out, and the girls laughed, throwing snow every which way. When fingers and toes were much too cold to stay outside any longer, the girls returned to the castle for hot chocolate, so they could warm themselves by the fire. And through all of it, Dezzy didn't think about the letter from her father. Not even once.


That final paragraph was just simply delightful. It was a fantastic way to end the chapter; the language was simple but the images were vivid, and the descriptions were just right and not overdone.

OK, I'm off to read your next chapter:D

Author's Response: Hello again! Wow, such a long review! Thank you!!!
I love Mistress Helga, because she's just so sweet! She really is a good person at heart, and I think she's someone who always looks out for others. And the sisters are a blast to write! Especially when they aren't bickering, which seems to happen pretty often? Haha.
The king's letter was hard to write, mostly because he's so cold to his own daughter, especially when she really needs reassurance and proof that he still loves her. This gives her the exact opposite, and it really hurts her, even if she was almost expecting it. I'm glad that moment wasn't overdone, I tried really hard to make it emotional, but not a sob story.
Dezzy is more passionate than she lets on, I think, and her father's letter just sets her off! She has that spark in her, and I love when it comes out!
And yes, Rowena will soon be entering the girls lives! I'm glad you're enjoying the pacing, because that's one thing I'm paying extra close attention to in this story! Thank you so so much for these phenomenal reviews!!!
Cassie :)


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Review #48, by Secret Santa The Library

19th December 2012:
Addie interrupted that moment between Dezzy and Salazar :( Argh...that means Salazar is still as shady and as mysterious as ever and I'll have to wait...

That scene with Godric was very sweet. It was a bit sudden and it did take me by surprise, but it was sweet nevertheless...and warm. He's such a contrast to Salazar. And I really like these little contrasts and all. I have the strange feeling that Godric and Salazar are much younger than Helga and Rowena in this story. I mean, I can't remember if you've actually told us how old Rowena and Helga are...but they feel much older what with Rowena being a mother to twelve girls and Helga being their governess or something.

But this was another lovely chapter! The pile of eavesdropping princesses was a nice touch of humour. I also really enjoy how the sisters look out for each other; it's such a nice part of the story, seeing as they are in essence without real parental care - their mother dead and their father being too busy and all.

Anyway, this has been another great read. I'll definitely be coming back for further chapters :D Keep writing!

Author's Response: Dezzy and Salazar's almost-moment... and in comes Addie! Haha. That was fun to write. They were SO CLOSE. But not if the older sisters have anything to do with it!
Godric is really kind and sweet, and I really love writing him. He seems to always know what to say, and is a really warm person.
The ages of the founders are a little warped in this story, but I focused more on who the characters were rather than how their ages are changed. The fun thing about AU is that you can mess with things like age which opens up a lot of possibilities!
I love the princesses, they alwasy make me happy when I'm writing them, so I'm thrilled that you're enjoying them! Thanks again for these amazing reviews!
Cassie :)


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Review #49, by Secret Santa The Stable Hand

19th December 2012:
Aaah, Godric is a stable hand? This is getting too good :D Is there going to be a triangle between Dezzy, Salazar and Godric? There is, isn't there? I'm already beginning to like your Godric a lot bahaha :D

And Dezzy, what are you doing going alone to the enchanted forest and pavilion?! And oh, Beatrice, Beatrice with her impulsiveness and tempestuousness and her unguarded tongue! Nice characterisation there.

Things are really picking up in this chapter; they're getting exciting! And of course, I especially loved that you introduced a new character here. And I especially enjoy the fact that he views Dezzy as an equal, rather than be humbled by her status and all. This makes it so much better! OK, I've really enjoyed this. I hope to be reading more soon :D

Author's Response: Yes, Godric is a stable hand! I wanted him to be a character that wouldn't immediately scream Godric Gryffindor. I think people would picture him as a king or a prince, so I'm hoping to surprise readers!
Bea really cares for her sister, and that's why she gets so angry at Dezzy for going into the forest alone. She can be responsible, even though it doesn't seem like it, and I think she feels that responsibility when Dezzy leaves to go to the forest.
I love writing Dezzy and Godric together, and I'm so glad you liked them too! Thank you again for another wonderful review!
Cassie :)


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Review #50, by teh tarik The Fan Dance

19th December 2012:
Hello! I'm back for morereading and reviewing!

This is such a delightful chapter! It really made me smile - all the interactions between the sisters, and Dezzy's honesty and straightforwardness in the letter to her father, and finally the really gorgeous fan dance scene. That scene was just beautifully evoked, and was full of lovely details.

She took a few quick steps to the left, staying on her toes, and then spun, extending her left arm above her, holding the fan, and her right arm out to the side. She stopped in the small pliť before repeating the steps, only faster this time.

Aaah..there was such a sense of movement and breathlessness in these sentences! It was really nicely done. And I'm too intrigued to find out moreabout Salazar!

On to the next chapter :D

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to respond to the rest of your lovely reviews! I've just been really busy! Haha.
I'm so glad you like the sisters and how they interact with each other! That's a really important part of the story for me, and I wanted all the girls to be able to tease each other and have fun, but also really care about each other.
Dezzy's letter to her father was really interesting for me to write. I wanted to make sure nothing was too personal, which was hard because she is writing to her father after all!
The dance was easier to choreograph than write, that's for sure! I'm glad everyting made sense and you felt the movement of the piece!
Thank you so much for the fanstastic review!
Cassie :)


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