wite more i am hooked this is amazing Report Review
i really like this story.. and it is quite original.. cant wait 4 the next chapter hope u wil write it soon!! :) Report Review
Gah, as I was reading this, my first thought was: 'How does this girl write so well?' I'm so jealous of your writing-it seems to come so naturally to you, and all your characters are so different have their own very separate personalities that makes them interesting to read about.
I have to say, I'm quite surprised to find out out Flora isn't a virgin. It seems very out of character, considering she's usually so prim and proper. But I love the fact she goes beet red whenever sex or boyfriends are mentioned. It's kinda cute.
I have so many questions flying through my head right now. Obviously the main one is: why is Albus Flora's bodyguard? And that note at the end...creepy. I can't wait to find out what happens next!
Courtney:) Report Review
Wow I am REALLY surprised that Flora isn't a virgin...it just seems so out of character...she's miss prim and proper, always modest (well in one sense of the term -she's certainly not humble) so I find it surprising that she would be so wild and adventurous and...out on a towel on the beach where someone could walk by...
Anyway. She and Albus are getting a little close, aren't they? Wrapping his arm around her...he clearly has a soft spot for her, despite her obnoxious personality. I do think she's sweet at heart, but she also seems ironically vapid for someone so who gets such good marks. I mean her problem solving skills really aren't great.
I love Wallis -she's a total sweetheart.
Also, why didn't Flora help fix the house?? She's supposed to know all the ways of being polite, but how rude was that, not helping out? Is she a squib? I thought she was supposed to be some awesome witch -why does she never use magic? That's just weird...
And where was Cupcake?!?!?!!
Update soon -I want to find out more about the stalker!!! Report Review
I don't think the chapter was a filler - it had lots of interesting tidbits. Albus and Flora are certainly an odd (in and interesting way) pairing. She seems to be a stereotypical goodie-goodie and he's the bad boy (turned good?). His friends are a fascinating mixture of personalities. I am a new reader and look forward to reading about who is hunting Flora and the real purpose behind her trip. Thanks for sharing your story. Report Review
Not much plot but you sort of did leave a cliffhanger! Who wants to kill her? Why?!
I am so excited to find out! :D And Albus protecting her? I ship those two so hard :D (too soon to be shipping them? :P )
Update quick! :) Report Review
Me: "OH MY GOD THERE'S A NEW CHAPTER."
Yes, I was - embarrassingly - that excited. It was a fast update, but I like fast updates. Like, a lot.
This chapter was absolutely great, I loved it and I can't wait for you to update again :) Report Review
Well I certainly learned a lot about hierarchy in this chapter. My knowledge has just grown a little more.
I'm so excited though because things are getting intense and stuff is happening. Don't get me wrong, I loved the previous chapters but now the real stuff is actually happening.
Sweet Jesus though, Flora's family really is rich. Incredibly rich, her family could feed a country in Africa, several countries perhaps. The ending though was just woah! I'm so excited for the next chapter and this was definitely a fast update.
Keep up the great work! Report Review
I take it that Albus underestimated the danger Flora is in, otherwise he is a completer fool to visit his friends. I love the fact that the friends who arent smart enough for a job involving magic have more common sense than Albus and Flora combined. They are absolutely correct about the fact that Flora has the wrong outlook on life. She really does need to live a little. I definitely understand her resistance to that when she regrets the one time she did something her father wouldnt like. Of course the fact that she can not even say the word virgin when she is not one proves that she wasnt mature enough to stop being one. It also shows how naive she is, which works with how long it took her to realize the attack was targeting her. All that leads to another great chapter Report Review
Hey! Great update!
So someone is out to get Flora I see. I wonder if it's related to her title in the Muggle World since you mentioned that the person didn't attack with a wand.
I noticed some tense errors in the story, especially in the beginning. You were using the present when you were referring to the past
"Why would I need a bodyguard?" I ask again, louder this time, but Albus continues to ignore me as Beckett .."
I think it would be continued though you might have purposefully written it like that so sorry if you meant it like that!
Can't wait to read more! Great update and I think it was relatively early =) Report Review
oh wow! I just LOVE THIS!
You're an amazing writer- this story has a different feel to it than your others, its incredible!
This is such a cliffhanger. Cruel ;) After five chapters, i really like Flora. I really didn't think I would at first, but seeing things from her point of view makes it easier- she's a little cutie!
Please update soon Ellie, don't make me wait!
xx Report Review
Ugh, I love this story so much! It is so unique and original-I've never read anything quite like it.
I love your take on Albus' story and that was a VERY intriguing cliffhanger-I can't wait to find out what happens next. Why does Flora need a bodyguard? Is there somebody after her or something like that? Gah, the suspense is killing me!
Loving it, keep up the good work!
Courtney:) Report Review
Wow! What a cliff hanger! Can't believe he is to be her bodyguard!! I wonder where u r going to take this. I do hope tht by the end of this trip Al will be mature to take care of Noah. I would hate it if the little boy didn't really know his father :(
Great update! Report Review
Whoa...the plot thickens. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this goes. I liked it a lot already, but the element of danger and a little mystery makes it so much more exciting :)
I feel bad for Albus for having to go through so much so young. I do wonder though, if he was hired as her bodyguard, why is he so irritated by it all the time? And why would she only need one body guard who's like 18? She's a fully capable witch herself, if a bit of a pansy. I hope she does sort of realize that at some point in the story. I mean I'm sure she will, since she's probably going to grow a bit. But I'm looking forward to it. I want to see her become a bit more independent and brave, eventually.
But now I'm wondering why Albus was chosen as her bodyguard and why he doesn't want to do it...and of course all the other parts of this situation.
CUPCAKE BETTER BE SAFE. ;)
Update soon!! Report Review
I really enjoyed this chapter, I loved Wallis being nice to Flora, and the ending was brilliant :) Keep up the good work because I can't wait to read more! Report Review
UGH! GIIIRRRLL! I love this! And it has been sooo long since I left a review, I am so sorry! :P
She's so snotty and HILARIOUS, gah, I'm just, wow. This is so brilliant, I love Wallis, and Albus, a father? Will erm, will Flora ever meet Noah(I love the name)? Because, I don't know, it'd be quite weird. But still great :P
Oh I loved the 'swag walk', I have mates that totally just do that for Lols, obviously I only join them if there's food involved ;)
I want to know moree! I would totally have Al Potter as my bodyguard ;) So yeah, NO MORE FORGETTING ABOUT THIS STORY! Savvy?
- Em ;) Report Review
Oh, gosh, Al's story is just so sad and exciting and just... tragic. And I'd really love to know more about Amelie and Al. And I really want Al to explain EVERYTHING, BECAUSE IM CONFUSED.
OMG WHY DOES FLORA NEED A BODYGUARD WHY DO YOU LOVE CLIFFHANGERS SO MUCH AND WHY THE HELL DO I SHIP AL AND FLORA SO BAD. UGH.DO YOU SEE WHAT YOURE DOING TO ME? Report Review
You seem to have a certain flair for making your stories dramatic. Not saying that I don't enjoy it, in fact, it makes your stories awesome but there's also some kind of drama happening.
I'm stuck wondering why exactly Albus is her bodyguard (and if this is supposed to be obvious to me then I'm being an idiot).
Anyway, there were some depressing parts to this chapter and there were some hilarious parts -Albus saying that Cupcake was going to rape him in his sleep being one of the hilarious moments.
I feel so bad for Albus though, like goddamn, his life is actually really tough. Report Review
woah! surprise most definitely...infact i even feel a little speechless. can't wait to read the next chap! Report Review
Wow! What a chapter!
I just adore Flora! She is so snobby and snooty but so...different from all the other OC's I've read. And I love the dynamics between her and Albus.
Albus is a father! WHAT??? What a cliffhanger-I can't wait to read more! Oh, and my mouth was watering when Albus was eating all those pretzels. Yum!
Courtney:) Report Review
Whoa I did not see that one coming. I'm not really sure how I feel about that just yet...whoa.
But I love that Albus seems to like Flora. She's definitely growing on him if he's saying nice things about her to his friends.
But where did the inspiration for the child come from?!? Was that the plan all along? It probably was but...I did not see that coming.
Update soon :) Report Review
Wallis seems quite nice! Like with Flora's uptight personality, Wallis seems friendly. AND OMGOSH ALBUS HAS A SON??!?! not that im very surprised...since Albus is sort of on the wild side. but im very curious as to how Flora will act around him after knowing this. OH I BET ALBUS WAS IN LOVE WITH THE GIRL WHO HE HAD A CHILD WITH?!? AM I RIGHT? AM I RIGHT?! AND MAYBE SHE LEFT HIM? UPDATE SOON CANT BELIEVE YOU PUT A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THIS HERE! Report Review
Well then … that was a right smack in the face. Didn't see that coming … at all … like, at all.
But, it wasn't a bad plot twist, I can't wait to see what happens now that she knows about Albus. Is the child Wallis' kid? Report Review
Philadelphia born and bread--the home of the soft pretzel, so I know what he meant when he talked about the deliciousness. Great chapter. Update soon!
-Fawkes Report Review
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