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149 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Romana Chapter 15

11th July 2016:
Hello, hello. Paragraphs are fine. Your going along nicely , but I thing that I am having trouble getting around is why nobody recognizes her. Del does not seem to have been away from hogwarts that long to have changed that much or be that forgotten. She was a big part of the boys lives. I think you need to change the time line slightly. Less time at hogwarts and more time at Salem. I also think you need to describe her new look. Has she changed her hair colour. Does she have a stronge American accent now. Is she thinner, tanned maybe. A more confident stance perhaps. A change to a healthier diet, more raw fruits and veggies can change your colour, I am going on aren't i, sorry. But I think it is important to the readers to understand the changes in del that have occurred to make her so unrecognisable to so many people. Anyway I am looking forward to finding what happened to make the boys dislike her so.

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Review #2, by bubzi Chapter 11

3rd June 2013:
What? Are they back at Hogwarts for a dance or at the potter's family/ministry dance.
Cool plot but very disjointed

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Review #3, by WoodenFences Chapter 14

16th April 2013:
Please don't tell me that Aiden's gonna start dating Lauren! She's in second year! 5 WHOLE FRICKEN YEARS YOUNGER!!! I mean, I guess it would be alright if they were both fully-grown adults, but if they start dating now, then Aiden will take everything too damn fast and Lauren will end up without her virginity at 12. And none of us want that to happen.

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Review #4, by WoodenFences Chapter 2

16th April 2013:
Woah. UNBREAKABLE VOW? Don't you think that's a little extreme, Arianna!!! (P.S. Love this chap's quotes, also. THX!!!)

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Review #5, by WoodenFences Chapter 1

16th April 2013:
I seriously love that song. Is it lame that I sang the stanza... out loud... at midnight? oh well. You better love The Fray as much as I do... I'll look forward to more quotes in the next chapters!!! On a sadder and more depressing note, whoever this is about, she has got it REALLY bad.

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Review #6, by grenoiue Chapter 4

11th April 2013:
I actually want to marry Hugo. He is trés l'epic.

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Review #7, by Zyii Chapter 2

5th March 2013:
Good news, I still liked it :) I promise my reviews will get better, I'm super tired right now (not a good excuse I know) You'll probs get inundated with better reviews tomorrow (: ~Zyii

Author's Response: Oh that's okay, I'm just glad you're reading!

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Review #8, by Zyii Chapter 1

5th March 2013:
Ooo I like it :) ~Zyii

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

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Review #9, by Hannah Chapter 6

7th December 2012:
SEQUEL. duhh. you should make a.

Author's Response: :):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

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Review #10, by Merlie Chapter 8

6th December 2012:
Wait, is Arianna a werewolf? I just got the feeling... I dunno. Anyway, great story, probably my favorite fan-fiction yet. And I remember in the first chapter when she said she couldn't remember a big part of her life and I could relate. I can't remember anything. It scares me. A LOT. Though, I'm not reviewing on my account, I'm using my sister's. I'm actually "Pheonix Patronus"...
Awesome story! :)

Author's Response: Well Arianna is not a werewolf, although it's my fault that you think that. I'm going through updates right now, and changing the story around a bit, so the earlier chapters probably won't have continuity with the older ones. I promise to get that fixed as soon as possible, though. Thanks for the review, though. I appreciate them a lot :)

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Review #11, by tothoseinterested Chapter 1

29th November 2012:
Woman, what is up with your spacing?! And your paragraph indention's?!

Author's Response: Hmm haven't looked at Chapter 1 in a while... I'll check that out.

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Review #12, by DumbledoresArmyRocks Chapter 8

2nd September 2012:
That's SOOO sad! I dOnt know what I'd do without my parents. I no this is my 2nd review in one day. But I have no life in the summer. All I do is read, right, eat, sleep, and occasionally go out when mom forces me to change out of pj's and go for runs or walks.

Author's Response: Haha same with me during summer :) But I don't mind you leaving two reviews ;)

Thanks!


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Review #13, by DumbledoresArmyRocks Chapter 1

1st September 2012:
I started getting a bit teary eyed also! Really good so far! And I LOVE your name! Mine so awkward. And it makes me stand out, I don't like standing out that much! Well, really good story so far!!! :)

Author's Response: Oh, your name isn't awkward, it's cool :) No judging, we're all HP freaks here :P

Thanks for the review!


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Review #14, by Calypso_conceals Chapter 4

1st September 2012:
Hey,

I really love your story, it's really well written. However, there are a couple of things I don't quite understand. In chapter 2 you say that Del is an amazing chaser, but in this chapter she says she doesn't play quidich and is a strategist, she also doesn't have good reflexes which a chaser would have. Also, in chapter 1 it says that Aiden is Del's cousin, so surely he would recognise her? Just a few thoughts. Otherwise I think it's really good. :)

Author's Response: First off, thanks for the review. Secondly, I am in the process of completely re editing this. I'm not too concerned about things not adding up right now, because I know they won't, especially with the Quidditch, which I changed. It'll hopefully be done as soon as possible, and then I can come back and clean any mistakes I made up. But thanks for pointing that out :)

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Review #15, by cathilde Chapter 8

24th July 2012:
Del is kind of a bitch. I mean, I get it that she had a terrible childhood and was bullied by people she thought were her friends, but shouldn't that make her realize how horrible it makes you feel instead of wanting revenge? And she obviously knows she's horrid if she was so convinced she could heartlessly crush people she bet her life on it. Also, I don't think it's very realistic that her friends turned on her because they realized she wasn't pretty. I mean, maybe they'd of stopped being friends with her but they wouldn't have any reason to bully her.
It's exciting and well-written though, and the plot is good.

Author's Response: Thank you for being entirely honest with this review! Mostly I just get, 'OMG THIS IS SO GOOD UPDATE QUICKLY', and I also just realized how incredibly arrogant that sounded. But regardless, thank you for being honest.

So, the bitch part. Keep in mind that you're only on Chapter 8. I'm probably not giving you too much of a spoiler by telling you that she realizes that revenge is bad later in the story. But you do make a good point with the horrid crushing thing. I am editing the story... I'd read back, it might make a bit more sense to you.

And again, I'm editing. I realize that the reason she was bullied, with the friend thing. But I have a plot that I need to pick up on, which is part of the reason why I'm editing.

~Delia


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Review #16, by hello-ello Chapter 5

31st May 2012:
This was REALLY good :) loved it! The suspense toll is too high. you're killing me :P

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

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Review #17, by hello-ello Chapter 2

31st May 2012:
This is really good so far. The change, was cool, from most hated, to most liked. GREAT JOB!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

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Review #18, by bookworm_hermione Chapter 3

24th May 2012:
UNBREAKABLE VOW?
wow. harsh

Author's Response: Yeah. I felt like beating up my characters that day :)

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Review #19, by classicblack Chapter 3

22nd March 2012:
My oh my, an Unbreakable Vow. This is certainly going to be interesting...
Nice chapter!
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

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Review #20, by classicblack Chapter 2

22nd March 2012:
It was actually fabulous!
Just an editing note that bugged me: make sure to press enter everytime a new person speaks instead of putting it all in one paragraph!
Really, though, it was a pretty good chapter. I can't wait to see how Delilah handles everything- I truly hope she doesn't just go and forgive Al for everything, that wouldn't be a good story at all haha
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Yes, I've got that all edited, I just have to post the chapters :)

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Review #21, by classicblack Chapter 1

22nd March 2012:
Wow! I actually really loved this chapter.
It's got the right amount of funny to slightly even out the depressing aspect of her life. Can't wait to find out her name!
How in the world did Harry and Ginny go so wrong with Al?
Honestly, I can't wait to read the next chapter.
This is gonna be great- I can feel it.
Happy writing,
classicblack

Author's Response: Well thank you! I honestly have no idea how Harry and Ginny screwed up with Al that much.

I hope your feeling is right!
~Delia


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Review #22, by AlbusPotter123456789123456789 Chapter 3

21st March 2012:
To be honest I really liked this chapter. Just as much as the others. I've never read a story that had an Unbreakable vow so I'm really excited to see how this goes. I have a few questions to ask, if it's no trouble. Firstly if she made the Unbreakable vow to make them as miserable as she was, if she succeeds in that, can she fall in love with one of them after?? Would she live or die if that happened?? Also, when Albus was all like I have cousins who look kind of like you that's why I was so protective, was he really being protective because of that reason or was it something else?? Like a little crush maybe??? Or was he completely honest... Or honest with a bit of a crush??? And I really liked the whole getting close to him and crushing him like a bug concept. Another question... When she says "I'll make sure they're just as miserable as I was" does she mean being their friend and then hanging them off the ceiling the next??? Or something else??? Sorry, I'm probably being quite bothersome with all these questions but you don't have to answer if you don't want to...
Sincerely,
Your Number 1 Crazy Wacky Fan,
AlbusPotter123456789123456789

Author's Response: This is a lovely review, and normally I would pick it apart and answer all of you questions and all that jazz, but I'm in a rush, so thank you thank you thank you for the wonderful review!

You're not bothersome at all, to answer that last bit.

Keep reviewing,
~Delia


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Review #23, by AlbusPotter123456789123456789 Chapter 2

21st March 2012:
I have to say that this chapter was just as EPIC as the last one. Hm Noah Finnegan, haven't heard of him before. And what about so called "Will", will he be in more chapters. Or was that a one time thing?? Lol, Will, will he be. I used it twice like a word and then like a name.. He he, sorry I have this thing with corny jokes. I'm really glad that she has some friends. It must have been a relief when she didn't have to face Hogwarts alone. And Al being all protective... Was he really protecting her cause she reminded him of his cousins, or is it something. I don't know why, but I have a feeling you won't tell me. Or maybe you will. Never know I might be wrong. Well I'm sorry this review isnt as long as the other. I just REALLY WANT TO READ THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! Well I'm off to go read it :)

Sincerely,
Your Number One Crazy Wacky Fan,
AlbusPotter123456789123456789

P.S. Did I mention that I LOVE YOUR CHAPTER. If I didn't then I REALLY DO!!

Author's Response: Oh, thanks! Yeah Noah's a new character, but quite important to the plot, you'll see :) This is a great review, thanks!



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Review #24, by AlbusPotter123456789123456789 Chapter 1

21st March 2012:
GAH!!! I ABSOLUTLEY LOVE YOUR STORY WITH ALL OF MY HEART!!! I know I only read one chapter but you can now just by a chapter when a stories going to be AMAZING! I used to be just like that. Bullied and sad with only two friends who ditched me for the popular kids, but I'm also different cuz I hid it with a smile. Either way the bullies came back and I gues I'd had enough, but thank god I moved. This is a story where I'm positive people all over this site will be able to relate too. I just want to know what gave you the inspiration to write this story??? Is it a personal experiance or just because?? Sorry, I'm being pretty nosy and you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I just know that my first story Begging On Your Knees was based on something I wished I had the guts to do to my ex boyfriend who used me. I really love how you took it to a while other level. I mean like in all these other stories there all best friends and you see them pranking other people. No one else has ever showed the other side of the pranking, the people who were humiliated. That's not saying that I don't like stories like that, I do. I'm just saying that I love the twist. You have an awesome writing style and I hope you never stop writing amazing stories. Well I'm off to read another chapter.

Sincerely,
Your Number 1 Crazy Wacky Fan,
AlbusPotter123456789123456789

Author's Response: Lots of questions! Let's tackle this one at at time, shall we? :)

I'm sorry you were bullied . . . you seem like a really nice person (the long review doesn't hurt the formulation of this opinion :)) I'm glad you stayed positive!

The inspiration to write this . . . well, our school had just done a bullying seminar and they asked us for a show of hands on who'd been bullied . . . they didn't go into details, but a lot (a LOT) of kids raised their hands. I just wanted to write a story from their point of view, and I brought what I would do, get revenge, into Del's character.

I've been pranked, I've been bullied (actually, I believe it was the afternoon after one of my friends ditched me 'officially' when I began writing this chapter). I wanted to show her so bad how it felt to be on the recieving end of that, and since I didn't have the guts to do that (despite what she did, she was still a great friend, and I still didn't want her to get humiliated) I put it into my writing, and pretended she was reading it.


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Review #25, by hellouniverse100 Chapter 6

21st March 2012:
lol the last line made me laugh and i just had to comment!

Author's Response: Aw thanks for commenting! It's the warm fuzzy reviews on the smallest things that make you really want to keep writing :)

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