Reading Reviews for Behind the Curtain
  
94 Reviews Found

Review #26, by WitnesstoitAll New Discoveries

23rd May 2012:
Oh my, it's been so long since I've read the first chapter of this story, but this flowed as though it was just yesterday. You really do write historical fiction quite well. I've always been a fan of the genre, and don't see much of it in the HPFF world. I think one of the things that really sells this story is the multitude of characters that you include -- it makes the world you've created feel real and full of people. You also deal with description very well. I myself tend towards flowery, over-done descriptions of the setting, so I'm always really impressed when I read a story that can paint the background in my mind in such a succinct way.

I really liked that you chose to step back from the training center and Riddle in this chapter to develop Anastasia and set the tone of the world at large in this chapter. I like the Wellington family. Archibald is awesome!! I really respect him from breaking the societal role of squib and doing what he did -- quite admirable. I am way more invested in Anastasia's character than I expected to be. The way you described her in the first chapter, I expected a rather bold, cold agent that happens to be female. But here, the depth you provided her with, the sense of duty, all set to the sound of a symphony playing out from her piano was a very pleasant surprise. I look forward to seeing the role she'll play in this story.

Oooh. The plot thickens. I've very interested to see what was in Archibald's message and what he told Augustus and what Duncan has to do with it all.

Fabulous chapter!!
Melissa

Author's Response: I love historical fiction too! And I like how we don't really know much about this era in canon, so it gives you a lot of leeway.

I'm glad you enjoyed the characters, I really like the flexibility that OC's give you, and they might have some interestng twists in store.

Thanks a lot for the review!

-James


 Report Review

Review #27, by academica The Infiltration

17th May 2012:
Hi James! I thought I'd pop in and read another chapter of this lovely little story.

I see Moody and Nicholas are bonding (though poor Duncan apparently has to suffer a bit for it), which is lovely. I loved the brief little "conversation" between Duncan and Moody, and I'm certainly not surprised that Moody isn't exactly "one for leisure". Duncan's reaction with the chocolate was priceless. I also love how Duncan is becoming more and more accustomed to magic, and as a result, is accepting it more easily as he goes along. I suppose you would sort of have to with Moody.

It was neat to catch glimpses of Avery and Mulciber here, and to see Moody and Duncan so easily take their forms and get business done. I love the matter-of-fact feel of this story, as exemplified by Moody's final comment. I'm definitely still interested in the story, and I'm looking forward to seeing Moody and friends unravel the secrets of the Kwikcode machine and plan their next moves. (I'm also, of course, looking forward to the moment when Tom's people figure out what has happened.) This story is just like a classic spy movie, with action that is very easy to follow and the extra touch of magic that adds another lovely dimension.

Very nice! :)

-Amanda
Recenseo 2012

Author's Response: Thanks a lot Amanda, it's always great to get unexpected reviews like this!

It's easy to picture young Moody being really intense like this, and Duncan had to respond pretty much the only way he knew how.

I'm glad you're interested in the story, and there's going to be some twists in the next couple chapters!

-James


 Report Review

Review #28, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap The Breach

3rd May 2012:
I didn't even think about the chocolate, how foolish of me. I figured Anastasia would notice quickly that something was wrong because she takes her work very seriously.

I don't know how she'll figure out it was Duncan and Moody but I know she will and I don't know how she'll find them either but the longer they stay where they are, the more danger they'll be in.

Oh, Riddle. Does he even care what he's part of? It seems like he's doing his own thing (which is obviously very Tom Riddle like, because he has always been his own worry) but wouldn't it benefit him to help in the task that he's supposed to be doing just to keep up apperances and make a stronger alliance with the people around him? Or is he not worried because his focus is really on Britain?

Author's Response: Yes, that was clarly not a smart move by Duncan. I'm finally getting around to writing the next chapter, and let's just say things get a bit interesting for Ducan and Moody.

Pretty much everything Riddle does is perfectly calcuated to achieve a certain end. He tries to keep up the appearance of being a loyal employee, but he clearly has his own motivations for doing so.

Thank you so much for all the reviews!


 Report Review

Review #29, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap The Infiltration

3rd May 2012:
Man, Moody is really a brilliant man! He's someone I'd want to be around me in a time of distress. I really thought something was going to go wrong but nothing has so far (but they still haven't gotten out of the building yet!).

It seemed a little to easy for them to do everything they did but then again the guards are 'dolts' as Anastasia would say. And Moody makes a good argument now about not drinking anything but what's in his flask. If I were Duncan I'd get my own flask when I'm around him, heaven only knows what he could do to him if he thinks Duncan is a shady character (even though he's not. He's actually very humorous).

I'm interested to see if they'd have to go about doing some things the muggle way because magic seems to be too easy, you know what I mean? It wasn't over the top in the chapter but taking the polyjuice potion, knocking them out, the use of the elastico spell (brilliant by the way). I would like to see Duncan use some of his strengths too.

Author's Response: If I ever had to infiltrate a base in hostile territory like this, I would definitely want Moody there with me!

I totally see what you're saying about the use of magic, and that may or may not come into play later...

Thans for another review!


 Report Review

Review #30, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Man's Best Friend

3rd May 2012:
Loved Nicholas and Moody, even the toughest man needs a 'best friend.'

I really enjoyed the set up in this chapter. Obviously the action is going to come back again the next chapter (well, it's obvious to me anyway) because this was more of calm before the storm where everyone goes, 'Well, we have high security and great protection spells. No one would dare try to fight us on our territory or break in! They'd have to be crazy!'

We're lucky we all know who is crazy enough to do such a thing and able too. I can already envision the sour expression on Anastasia's face when she learns that someone did indeed come in when she left. Of course maybe they won't be caught? I think them not getting caught would be too easy, not as much fun as a chase of cat-and-mouse.

Oh, and I'm sure Riddle's intentions in Albania are so innocent. *rolls eyes* Anastasia, open your eyes!

Author's Response: I suspected Moody would have a soft spot in there somehere, and while he doesn't really let people get close to him, a dog could totaly work.

And of course, Riddle ha no ulterior motives at all in Albania.

Thanks for another great review!


 Report Review

Review #31, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Daring is Doing

3rd May 2012:
Oh, Moody! Seriously, he makes my day in this story. I couldn't stop snickering at the image of his scared face flying in an airplane. Though flying tends to scare me as well, there's always too much turbulence when I fly.

Anyway, for a second I thought our dear Anastasia wasn't going to be able to complete her mission. I kept screaming 'Retreat! Retreat!' in my head but of course they wouldn't. That's like throwing herself to her own death if she wouldn't have been able to complete her mission. Though I don't understand how she wouldn't have known that there would have been something to reveal them if they were under cover because I feel like that would just be the first thing I think of, what happens if there's this spell or there's this device? You know?

The jump was key, it's one of my favorite things I see happen in spy movies/action movies. I never understand how some of them actually do make it into the water. I know the movies are fictional but there is a family friend that did jump off a bridge many years ago that I know and he did make it. Apparently he was trying to think of a daring way to get on the news and show his ex-girlfriend just how much he loved her. Sounds insane but he survived his drop so I suppose why shouldn't the fictional characters in any universe survive theirs?

Author's Response: I loved writng the scene with Moody on the plane, and given how much he distrusts just abou everything, I ca't imagine he would be too fond of flying.

And yes, the jump is pretty much the ultimate actin movie cliche, so I had to work that in somehow.

Thanks forreviewing!


 Report Review

Review #32, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Plans in Motion

3rd May 2012:
Moody! I'm always a big fan of him, he's really not included in many stories I seem to come upon so it was nice to see his character. I thought you hit him right on the head.

Tom Riddle is something else, isn't he? I mean. I was even a little awed by his speech. You make him convincing. He's essentially like the public figures you see on TV, they have to have a strong voice, they have to exude confidence and be very convincing and they also have to be able to make a rowdy crowd cheer. I think cheering is key because sometimes even the biggest skeptic can get enamored by the crowd and swayed.

Even though Anastasia doesn't seem to be to keen on him. I think she's for her mission but I don't think she's for Riddle and whatever ideas he's going to have in the future. She could easily play two sides, I think but I guess I'll have to see what happens next.

Author's Response: I love Moody, and since we really don' know anything abot his backstory, it was fun to get to make it up entirely.

I think thats the key to Riddle is that he had to be really charimatic at some point to get all those people to buy into what he wanted to do.

Thanks for another review!


 Report Review

Review #33, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap New Discoveries

3rd May 2012:
And so it begins!

I have to say, Anastasia is a really interesting character. She's very chilling, tightly wound and serious. I could see her doing some terrible things in the future (but given her plans that's obvious) but how she does them will be interesting because she's obviously extremely smart, she's not going to go about things the way an amateur would.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and the merriment was interrupted by its loud crash and the sudden gust of chilling wind that accompanied it. A momentary hush fell over the room as a serious looking man in a finely tailored black suit, freshly starched white shirt and a plain tie stepped inside. He had short brown hair, was physically fit, and seemed to have a determination in his stride. By the looks of things, he was clearly some sort of government agent.

^ I really liked that entire part. I could just see it in my head. It's that moment that they play in the movies where the door swings open and that looming figure walks in and everyone pauses, a chill filling even the toughest character as they stare at the door way.

Excellent job. You never disappoint.

Author's Response: Welcome back!

Glad you liked Anastasia, and I definitely wouldn't want to run into her in a dark alley. And that's pretty much exactly what I was going for in that scene with Augustus.

Thanks for another review!


 Report Review

Review #34, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap Snakes in the Snow

3rd May 2012:
You write historical fanfiction so well, I wonder, do you write historical fiction (original fiction) as another hobby? I know I read historical fiction novels outside of HPFF but I'd never attempt to write anything because I can never get the timeline of the dates right and the college I attend focuses more on American history.

I love Russian history (no offense to my country, I love America but there's only so much one person can learn about the Civil War) but apparently because the 'Cold War is over' they don't really teach anything about Russia besides the basic 'Well, the Cold War happened. America prevailed. Hurrah!' It's really a shame.

Anyway, not that that had anything really to do with this (sorry for my rambling) but I thought this was such a strong first chapter. I think your writing has really grown from Their Finest Hour (which I still have to finish...cough...cough) because the description was spot on.

I'm still baffled how you can weave the world of HP into the story, it fits so seamlessly. It'll be interesting to see how Riddle fits into the entire story because we really don't know much about his life except the basics: orphan, Dumbledore, Hogwarts, Hagrid, goes for Defense Position, starts to become Lord Voldemort...etc, etc, etc.

Author's Response: Hey Deeds!

I actually haven't relaly written any original historical fiction, but after the kind of reception this story has been getting, Im starting to think about trying it.

And I agree about Russian history; it's just so fascinating. Also, this is pretty much an unknown era when it comes to HP canon, but I think we can assume that Tom Riddle was somewhere in Eastern Europe at the time.

Thanks for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #35, by Violet Gryfindor The Breach

25th April 2012:
This is another excellent chapter! It very neatly continues on from the previous ones, constantly building the plot, even after the excitement of last chapter. You never run out of suspense for us readers, keeping up the tension perfectly with a good measure of action, bits of humour, and cliffhangers that are obviously planned out with care. Even if you haven't actually planned out the story so elaborately, it feels that way.

I'm not surprised that Anastasia discovered the breach so quickly - she's very efficient in her work, and while that's a great strength, I wonder whether it's also a weakness. She's too careful, too good at her job - but then again, we haven't seen her lose her temper yet, not completely. If she does lose it, I definitely fear for anyone who gets in her way. It's almost comical how she's the "brains of the outfit", literally surrounded by idiots. It says a lot about the kind of people Riddle chose as his followers - the fanatics and weak-minded; Riddle definitely did not want any competition.

It doesn't bode well for Moody and Duncan if they're stuck out there for a week. I'm not sure whether Anastasia will go after them, but if she does, she's the type would find them somehow. :P I think I like her too much - there's no clear line between heroes and villains in this story, which makes it more interesting and complex to read. People on both sides of this war are working for a greater goal... and meanwhile Riddle's just doing his own thing.

There were two typos I noticed in the final section of this chapter, one being "ordinarily" rather than "ordinary", the other being a missing word in the sentence "secrets that are in no position to have to know about" - is it "you are", perhaps? Or "we are"? Those are the only things I found to critique. Otherwise, it was a fantastic read and I'm once again looking forward to more of this story! :)

Author's Response: Yay another review! It's such a great feeling when people who have been reading all along want to continue!

I sort of planned out an outline of the major plot events beforehand, but the smaller details I'm kind of making up as I go along, so its been a challenge for consistency and contuinity, but I'm glad to hear it seems to be working so far.

I't always seems to happen in many stories that the evil villain's henchmen are total idiots, and with some one like Riddle, I think it makes sense that he wouldn't want people who might think for themselves. Anastasia is definitely on top of game right now. i don't want to give too much away, but she might have some interesting twists in store.

I'm trying to show both sides and how it's basically a deadly international chess match that they're both trying to win, and I'll admit I do enjoy creating a bit of confusion about who to root for.

Thank you so much for yet another great review!


 Report Review

Review #36, by NaidatheRavenclaw New Discoveries

22nd April 2012:
Hi there! Thanks for swapping with me!

As much as I enjoyed chapter 1, this just became even better. You're honestly including so many elements that are just forgotten about in fanfiction. I love that Archibald is a squib. It adds a whole new layer to an already complex plot. And I like that he still posessed those Slytherin traits-it showed that he did still have some of his family's genes.

The bit with the pub was so realistic. You have talent for this era. It's so historically accurate, and yet it's still a really good read. I often find novels written in this era really boring, but you have so many tightly woven plots and suspense in this that it's impossible not to love it.

Great job!

-Naida

Author's Response: Thank you for swapping as well!

I wanted to work in some sort of connection to the Muggle world, and i really like the idea of a squib being successful and having a cool job as a muggle.

I try hard to make it feel like the 1950's, but I'm never really sure since obviously I wasn't alive then, but its great to hear that it seems accurate.

Thanks a lot for the review!


 Report Review

Review #37, by Alopex The Breach

21st April 2012:
Ooops. Guess that chocolate wasn't such a good idea after all! While I am pleased that Moody and Duncan managed to waltz out of the compound without any fuss, I certainly don't think they are out of the woods yet. After all, it appears they are going to have to hide out in that safe house for a while week, and I have the feeling that it's going to turn into a not-so-safe house with Anastasia on the hunt. I'm fairly convinced that she will be looking for the intruders.

There is something I am wondering about. Moody and Duncan have been instructed to monitor messages, since they have a Kwikcodes machine now. However, seeing as the theft has already been discovered, does it not seem likely that some extra security measures might be put in place for passing messages? Obviously just changing the encryption would not be enough, and if it is their primary means of communication, they may not be prepared to make a quick change, but if I was Anastasia and her superiors, I'd be looking at alternatives.

How typical of Tom Riddle to consider killing the waiter rather than paying the bill! It took you less than a sentence to convey what a twisted individual he is. Anyway, he's maneuvered himself nicely into the position where he wants to be, and I'm curious to see how his unofficial mission develops.

This is an interesting story so far, and I hope you continue writing it. :)

Author's Response: As you probably guessed, they weren't going to get away that easily!

You brought up an excellent point about the communications. Without giving too much away, that is something that will definitely come into play in the next chapter.

I have to admit that writing this serious version of Riddle is so much harder and less amusing than my humorous AU Voldemort from my other stories, but I'm really glad to hear that his twistedness is coming accross.

Thank you so much for reviewing, and hopefully I should get the next chapter ready soon!


 Report Review

Review #38, by Alopex The Infiltration

21st April 2012:
Hmm, very intersting chapter! I'm feeling super tense now, because I was expecting something to go wrong at any moment. Well, they still have to get out, so there is still a chance for things to go wrong. I guess I'll just have to read the next chapter to see if they manage to walk out the gate unmolested or not.

Duncan sneaking his chocolate bars amused me. Also, that Moody is one intense dude. I wouldn't know what to say to him either, and I'm not surprised that Duncan resorted to offering him chocolate, nor am I surprised that Moody refused to eat it.

One quick typo about the ropes that "met I the middle" instead of in the middle. The ropes were an interesting idea as well.

The line about Majorca also amused me, as vacationing in Majorca is something that momotwins' version of Rose Weasley also likes to joke about, and I've been reading her stories for years. It was sort of like seeing a Harry Potter reference in a TV show, to use one analogy.

Handy thing, magic, allowing you to vanish your footprints in the snow behind you and all that. Polyjuice Potion is very hand as well. It is easy sometimes, I think, to wind up using magic as a deus ex machina, but I didn't find the magic used in this chapter to be over the top. It fits in pretty nicely with canon magic (other than the slingshot . . . boy, I bet the Weasley twins could have some fun with that).

Author's Response: So this is when the action begins to pick up a bit!

I'm a big fan of Batman and I see a lot of similarities between Moody and Batman, which is kind of where some of the ideas in his speech came from. And yes, Duncan's resposnse was pretty much all you can say to that.

That's a crazy coincidence! I think we could all use a trip to Majorca sometime.

I can only imagine the havoc Fred and George would wreak with that slingshot. I have a feeling Duncan would get along with them very well.

Thanks for yet another review!


 Report Review

Review #39, by Alopex Man's Best Friend

21st April 2012:
The line about the free bus was pretty funny. I don't actually have a lot to say about this chapter, because there wasn't much happening. It was more a "filler" chapter--one of those that kind of sets up things to move forward but isn't that exciting in its own right. I also enjoyed Moody's interaction with Nicholas.

Hmm, so Tom Riddle has set himself up to go to Albania, has he? I'm sure his motives are entirely pure, nothing ulterior about them whatsoever. Also, I get the feeling that Mulciber and Avery, the "louts," are about to discover just how good their guarding skills really are.

Author's Response: As you mentioned, this was kind of a set up chapter, and I also wanted to show the softer side of Moody a bit. Obviously he has issues with trusting people, but I could see him warming up to a dog like this.

And of course, Tom Riddle must have nothing but inncent motives, I would expect nothing less.

Thanks a lot for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #40, by NaidatheRavenclaw Snakes in the Snow

21st April 2012:
Tag!

This was actually fantastic. I haven't read any stories, I don't think, focusing on the post WWII/Cold War era, so that in itself was awesome. And the historical accuracy fit together perfectly with the wizard influence. I love Vladimir's attitude to the whole thing. It's brilliant.

The obstacle course was a really cool idea as well. To be completely honest, I'm not exactly sure of it's execution :/ I feel as though it moved a bit too fast, but that's probably more of my personal taste more than anything else. I like it when action scenes are really embellished and such, and this was just the pure movements and spells, which worked well in this context. I realize I just contradicted myself there, so let me attempt to make sense. I think that the action of the obstacle course worked really well, but it moved a bit too fast for my own personal taste.

(I'm terrible at making sense in reviews :P)

I also loved how you didn't mention it was Tom Riddle until the very end ;) It was the perfect finishing touch.

I really enjoyed this chapter! Great job :D

-Naida

Author's Response: This is one of my favorite eras and genres to read about, and it's pretty much an unknown era in the HP universe, so I like having that degree of flexibility.

I intentionally wrote the ostable course scene moving pretty quickly because the idea was that Riddle was getting through it faster than anybody had ever done before, but I understand what you're saying about wanting a little more detail in the action.

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #41, by Alopex Daring is Doing

21st April 2012:
I'm back at last for more. It's been a bit hectic in "real life" as we say. But enough about that.

Again, there were a couple of teensy errors I noted down:
-Near the beginning: succumbing t laughter --> obviously missing an "o"
-Partway through: fidelius charm --> JKR capitalized this
-Closer to bottom: awe struck --> awestruck

Some people prefer not to hear about grammar/spelling/typo/mechanics type things in reviews, so if you're one of those people, just say so, and I'll stop. :)

Now it's time for the real remarks. I found the first probably two thirds of this chapter to drag a bit, but I know it's partly due to the fact that I'm reading this late at night (early in the morning, really) after a long day and it's hard not to glaze over things when you're tired. You had plenty of description, as usual. There were funny moments to break the tension and add interest. I loved the glimpses of the young yet already paranoid Moody. The airplane was interesting as well. I can only bring to mind one other story I've read on this site that involves an airplane ride (though I'm sure there are others).

The little spy details are fun as well. Somehow, I envision Moody and Archie getting alone rather well, or at least understanding one another. That might be because they have magic in common. At any rate, two of our main players have now arrived, and we'll see what happens next.

The last portion of the chapter was more exciting, obviously. Anastasia definitely brings interest to any scene she's in, and as I've implied before, I would sure not want to be on her bad side!Dolohov seems formidable in his own right here as well. Overall, their whole scheme went off pretty well, despite a few mishaps. I don't suppose the intended to exit by window, but at least they escaped (should I be rooting for them? . . .).

On the other hand, some portions did seem a little too easy, like being able to evade all security (through planning, I can buy it, though) and rewriting an elevator. How exactly did that happen? Of course, I doubt I've have understood a bit of it if you had described the whole process, and it would have been distracting, so it's best you left if off, I think.

I've lost track of whatever point I was trying to make. Time to stop rambling, I think! I'm definitely interested in seeing what happens next. You appear to have finished introducing your main cast of characters, and now you've set events in motion, so the plot is picking up pace, I predict.

Author's Response: Thanks for coming back, and I defiitely don't mind having grammar errors pointed out, it always good to have another set of eyes.

I always wondered why they didn't take advantage of muggle forms of transport in the books when they were being watched, I mean I doubt the death eaters would have found Harry if he just took a normal bus.

I totally understand what you're saying about the mission seeming too easy, but on the other hand, explaining the techinical details of how to re-program an elevator might be a little dull.

Thanks a lot for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #42, by kestral14 The Breach

20th April 2012:
This is a very interesting new chapter! Please update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thanks a lot, next chapter should be up soon!

 Report Review

Review #43, by Noblevyne New Discoveries

19th April 2012:
I love this story, the intrigue - the absolute Britishness of it, reads like a magical John le Carre novel (seriously, if trash like 50 Shades of Grey can get published, why are you not just changing some names and facts and getting this sorted? NOW - magic and spies? Winning combination!)

You have a very easy style of writing, the descriptions are lovely, but never purple and everything has a nice flow to it. You make it easy to visualise your characters, and to follow what they're doing without getting too bogged down in the details.

Author's Response: So I'm actually American, but I tried really hard to make things sound as British as possible, so its great to hear that it seems to be working!

I think we all want to bang our heads on a desk about the success enjoyed by the likes of Stephanie Meyer haha.

Thank you so much for these great reviews!


 Report Review

Review #44, by Noblevyne Snakes in the Snow

18th April 2012:
I truly, truly hope you are utilising your massive talent to write original fiction as well - it's very rare to come across something so unique in fanfiction, especially in HP fanfic - which has just about smacked together every possible idea on the planet and seen it published. You have a true gift for prose, pacing and characterisation. Your ideas are fresh and fun, and well researched!

I love these kinds of stories, I love the idea of reimagining Muggle historical events with a magical spin. The idea of Tom Riddle in the midst of the Cold War is a very interesting one, if we are to believe that each Muggle war had its own magical mirror happening at around the same time - that they influenced each other. I find this a really fantastic idea, as it would be the first chance for Tom to really get involved in a wide scale conflict.

Author's Response: Hey thanks for reviewing!

So I actually haven't written any OF, but I have to give your reviews credit for making me start thinking about it.

The tidbit in the books that really inspired me was when Fudge meets the Prime Minister, it really opened up a whole new window of looking into how the worlds and events were intertwined.

All we really know about Tom Riddle from canon in this era is that he was presumably somewhere in Eastern Europe, so I'm just taking that and running with it.

Thanks a lot for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #45, by ericajen Daring is Doing

18th April 2012:
Ooh lots of fun action there at the end! Anastasia is sort of my hero, not gonna lie. I mean she's perhaps a bit evil and she may be a dark wizard, but she's pretty awesome. I'm a Duncan fan, also. He's funny. There's always got to be a little comic relief. Duncan is perfect for that.

You write spy dramas very well! You keep it interesting without making it too heavy and I really like the switching back and forth between the Russians and the British. It's fun to see what's happening on both sides. It also gives it the dynamic of not really knowing who you're rooting for, since you're getting to know both sides. Like I enjoy the Anastasia and Dolohov dynamic so I can't say I root for the British completely.

Hopefully I'll get fully caught up with this story soon! I wish I could read it all now but I may or may not be in class right now, heh.

Erica.

Author's Response: Glad to hear you like Anastasia so far! I'd say there's definitely more to her than meets the eye, and that's all I'll say about that for now.

I'm also glad you like the multiple POV aproach. I want the plot to basically play out like a chess game, so I want to show what both sides are planning.

Thank you so much for reviewing, and I hope it didn't distract you from class too much!


 Report Review

Review #46, by ericajen Plans in Motion

17th April 2012:
Heh, Duncan is the only one crazy enough to go through with it. That sounds very, very promising for the future. Am very excited to read more of him and his crazy ways. Speaking of him and the UK kids, you wrote Moody really well! That's exactly how he is. All grumbly and grouchy and suspicious. Constant vigilance!

And yikes, Riddle's getting all determined and such to take down the non-purebloods. I was actually getting somewhat nervous while reading it, not gonna lie. He's a scary guy. I'm a big Anastasia fan so far. Maybe because she's a strong female type character, I don't know. She just seems so fabulously dangerous. I want to wear mink fur coats and red lipstick and be a master witch. New life goal, yes?

Erica.

Author's Response: Duncan tends to be a little off his rocker at times but totally in a fun way, and I think he's pretty much the perfect foil for Moody, who will always be intense and serious. It's so much fun to write the two of them together.

Riddle is pretty much in the perfect position to get in with the Russians and then try to co-opt them for his own purposes, so we'll just have to see what happens there. And don't we all wish we could be glamorous assasins?

Thanks a lot for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #47, by ericajen New Discoveries

17th April 2012:
I really like the way you're weaving together the magical and muggle worlds. It makes everything so much more interesting to see all these behind the scenes connections and such. I've always wondered about that, really, ever since that part in the book where we see the Minister of Magic chatting up the Prime Minister. It always made me think there's got to be more crossover somewhere in there.

Another thing I really enjoy about this story is that you writing style is such that I truly picture the entire thing like a movie going on in my head. I mean I can see like, every little detail you describe happening inside my head. Anastasia's flat, Duncan's bar. It all seems very real.

Very much enjoying this so far! Yay for politics and espionage!

Erica.

Author's Response: I loved the scene with the Prime Minister in Book 6, and for me that really opened up a whole new window into the HP world that honestly I'm really disapointed hasn't been explored more in fanfiction. If there was further contact between the two worlds, I imagine the intelligence community would be the ideal forum for it.

Thanks a lot for reviewing!


 Report Review

Review #48, by ericajen Snakes in the Snow

17th April 2012:
OMG RUSSIAN POLITICS. How exciting! I pretty much love anything to do with Russia or the USSR and their politics. It's bringing me back to my senior year of high school in my literature class when we had to do group author studies and I convinced my group that we should Tolstoy and they hated me forever when they saw the size of the books. Worth it.

Anyway. Really great set up! It seems like it's going to be a very exciting story. I mean, with all this espionage it's pretty much guaranteed to be great. I like the characters thus far. Obviously, we're familiar with the English ones and Igor and Dolohov, but I like Vladimir and I reallyyy like Anastasia. She does not seem like a lady you want to mess with. I wouldn't try to take her on.

Also, you referenced Rasputin and it made my day.

Erica.

Author's Response: Aren't Russian politics just fascinating? This is one of my favorite genres to read about, so I really wanted to picture what it would look like in the HP universe.

The Death Eaters seem to have a Russian connection with Dolohov and Karkaroff, and I think its implied in canon that Riddle was in Eastern Europe at the time, so I'm pretty much just taking that and running with it. And there was definetely something shady about Rasputin.

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #49, by Violet Gryfindor The Infiltration

7th April 2012:
Once again, great work with the story! I still have a bad feeling that this infiltration is going to somehow go wrong - it's been too easy, and they've had very good luck, Avery and Mulciber causing no trouble at all. I'm interested in the way that this compound's security devices don't pick up the use of the Polyjuice Potion, unlike those at the Polish Ministry of Magic - either the Soviets are too assured that no one could break in or there's another booby trap waiting around the corner, but we'll see.

The finest moment in this chapter was Moody's speech and Duncan's reaction. It was a ridiculous speech, but it oddly suited Moody, particularly this younger, more naive wizard - he still has high ideals, yet what he says about complacency in peace is very correct. Duncan's reaction was hilarious - it was a perfect light moment, breaking the tension (not to mention the ice). The two of them are getting on very well, and while I'd love to hear more from Duncan to get a better understanding of his character, I do like how you've been writing the two of them together - they're unlikely partners, but they balance each other's strengths and weaknesses effectively.

I'll keep an eye out for updates on this story! There's still very much up in the air at this point, and I'm curious to see how all the various threads of the plot will continue moving forward.

Author's Response: That did seem a little too easy, didn't it? Well I'm almost done with the next chapter so we'll see soon what the ramifications are. And the Soviets were definitely a bit overconfident with their protections.

Moody's speech was mostly adapted from one I heard a Marine sergeant give, but I threw in a bit of Batman as well.

Since I used Duncan a lot in another story (and shipped him with Minerva if you can picture that) it's easy for me to forget that most readers of this story are seeing him for the first time and aren't familiar with his backstory.

Thanks a lot for such great reviews! It's been really encouraging how some highly skilled writers that I have so much respect for have given this story such great feedback!


 Report Review

Review #50, by Violet Gryfindor Man's Best Friend

7th April 2012:
Oh, that was a mistake, Anastasia! They have to be playing her, somehow - it's too neat and tidy, getting her out the way while Riddle's cronies are guarding the compound. What do they have planned? It's perplexing, yet it keeps the suspense at a high level, driving the action forward and forcing readers to become as paranoid as Anastasia and Moody (it's an interesting connection between them, actually, that they're both so careful, but it's why they both survive in the vicious world of espionage).

The Albania mission is a perfect tie to canon. I kick myself for not having expected something like that to come up - it fits right into Riddle's own plans and his creation of the Horcruxes, while still appearing innocuous. But what will happen in his absence? I assume that he's left right away, which could be wrong.

And then there's Moody and Duncan making their way to the compound. It's a recipe for trouble, though it could also be a godsend to the Brits because, with all the double-dealing potentially going on at the compound, they could get in and out without someone noticing and/or taking action. There are a lot of possibilities here and I'm excited to see which route you will take.

Once again, excellent work with this story! I like how you rework the conventions of the spy-thriller throughout this story, adding fresh elements and throwing in many twists and uncertainties to keep readers hopping. It makes for a wonderfully exciting reading experience. :D

Author's Response: So obviously there was quite a bit of foreshadowing for the next chapter, but I just hope it wasn't a little too obvious. There are definitely some complex plans at work.

I was looking for a way to get Riddle to Albania, so this seems to work. I'm trying to take the few things we know from canon about this era and weave them into the story as best I can. And he's pretty much about to depart at this point.

There's still a lot more to play out with the plot, and I hope it all comes togther nicely in the end.

Thanks for such a great review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page   Jump:     Next Page>